/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Seems unavoidable.

>>9878430
beat her to a pulp

>>9878430
>fish mince pie with ice-cream

>>9878453
Jej. Just like mother used to make.

Its actually carrot pie. Tastes similar to a slightly less sweet pumpkin pie.

Shove it in her mouth but be angry about it till she cries and then start facefucking her with it in her mouth still. Cum in the back of her throat with the food

put it in her butt

>>9878430
It's not worth spending the night in a jail cell because your woman fucked up a slice of pie.

>>9878494
Get out.

>>9878430
Its your own fault for having a piece of pie so thin.

>>9878502
>being a fatass and eating a huge piece of pie

>>9878460
Recipe?

>>9878430
that is how you are supposed to serve carrot pie anon, may i have her recipe for carrot pie please?

Looks dry and gross. Tell your wife to make good pies like blueberry or raspberry.

>>9878542
I bet his wife makes a moist, creamy, tasty pie.

>>9878477
this

>>9878514
It's Christmas

Bunch of sicko drumpf supporters in this thread. Shut em down, dudes

>>9878430
hit her over the head with a big ol' kiss

>>9878502
Jej. In my defence, I had seconds of turkey and stuffing, so I was trying to avoid a full on carb coma. Pictured is plate the first.

>>9878537
>>9878542
She can't find her exact recipe right now, but this one I linked below is pretty close to hers. She uses white sugar instead of the brown, and adds nutmeg, cloves, vanilla, ginger and cinnamon as spices.

http://www.instructables.com/id/Sweet-potato-carrot-pie/

>>9878555
There was apple pie as well, but I didn't get a photo before it was demolished.

>>9878560
>Not sure if innuendo or not

>>9878944
I'm sorry.

>>9878944
Man that looks flyover as fuck.

>>9879026
Post up your dinner and we'll do a comparison then, faggot.

>INB4 stock images of Shake Shack or In-N-Out Burger

>>9878430
Five across the eyes and she won't do it again.

>>9878944
is that hollandaise on brussel sprouts
>the degeneracy

>>9878430
Literally eat her pussy.

Sideways is the correct way to serve pie. It prevents crustless bites by helping your fork catch the crust from the moment it touches the pie.

>>9879259
Homemade cheddar cheese sauce.

>>9878430
I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant. She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

>>9880271
Thank you for that submission, I guess.

>>9880271
How does she treat the children now? Is she more attentive to her duties as a wife? How is your sex life?

Enjoy your shit meatloaf

>>9878430
why does that pie look like shit? how do you even get pumpkin pie to look so dry and crumbly?

>>9878430
Shove her face in it and take her anally. Only way they learn.

>>9880271
Beating women really does work. The problem is sometime they have bitchy feminist friends that fill their concussed heads with foolishness. You can't go around beating them. You CAN almost always get them to fuck you behind your woman's back though, and then you have a small amount of control on the situation. Somehow, this effective tradition has fallen out of style.

>>9880348
Do not consume stale pasta.

>>9880412
4/10 great addition to the copy pasta

>>9880389
Its carrot pie, and its because my wife didn't blend it as much, so as to leave it a touch toothy.

>>9878514
stick to kale salads, soyboy

>>9880439
Someone is asking for an behavior adjustment.

>>9878430
That's a weak ass narrow slice of pie, tell your wife to get her shit together

>>9880455
See.
>>9878944

>>9880463
>>9878944
>plate is 30% salad, 15% brussel sprouts, 15% mash, 15% stuffing

if your plate is less than 50% meat then you need to get your gender checked.

see >>9880447

>>9880463
If you don't have a secondary dessert stomach don't @ me

>>9880587
>>9880600
Plz no bully /ck/.

>>9878944
>"Now it melts!" ""cheese""
Haha

>>9880651
It's homemade with old cheddar you fucking retard. Make a roux and then melt a couple cups of shredded cheddar into it.

>>9878430
>>9878944
I think the bigger problem is that you are just redoing thanksgiving. Get some variety, toss in a ham or roast.

>>9880817
Finna do a ham for Christmas day.

>>9878430
violently throw yourself into a wood chipper.

That'll show her!

>>9878494
>going to jail for educated your cum bucket
american is trully the a cucked land

>>9882549
I can't determine if you're southern whitetrash, a nignog, muslim, asian or hispanic so I guess that means they're all the same, lol!

>>9878470
This is my fetish

Violently kill yourself

>>9878460
>>9878944
>jej
'no'

>>9880271
Amerimutt relationship advice lmao

>>9883146
It works. Some women think they are princesses and need guidance back to reality.

>TFW I abandoned my own thread figuring it would eventually fall out the bottom, and discover it at the top of the first page

>>9883117
Okay, I'll start using zoz instead.

>>9878944
Nigga, if you want to try to look healthy with a salad, for the love of fuck put some effort into it...it looks like the shit out of a McDonalds packet with some retard throwing carrot at it.

>>9879399
>Being so retarded you can't eat pie right side up

>>9880264
Oh fuck off

>>9880807
It's called a Mornay you uncultured swine

>>9883201
It was a "24 hour salad", so a version of a Seven Layer Salad. It got a bit scrambled by the time I had it on my plate.

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/18544/twenty-four-hour-salad/

>>9883238
>t. sauce bourgeoisie

>>9880271
i've seen this pasta before you bitch suck it

(i enjoy reading it everytime though)

>>9878430
Serve your own pie you degenerate foodlet

>>9878430
I hate desert foods besides berries and dark chocolate. Just throw it in the trash where it belongs.

>>9883505
Why have a wife?

>>9883509
Are you a woodland animal? Your opinion belongs in the trash.

>>9878477
>>9878577
hes married. not gonna happen.

>>9884770
Because you don't want to live in your car when she divorce rapes you

>>9878430
Dude you get ANAL tonight, just let her PEG you like the FAGGOT you are

>>9878514
That's big?

Really?

>>9885518
for who?

>>9878430

>>9878430
Slice is too small

>>9878791
>A russian kiss on the head
This means to stab her in the asshole with a kitchen knoife

>>9884787
Why not?
t. Virgin