/ck/ - Food & Cooking

That's fucking disgusting. Asking for food borne illnesses.

>>9861015
>there are people who wipe standing up,

>>9861015
There's people that sit down when they wipe? How? Do you wanna graze your ballsack with a piece of shitty toilet paper every time you wipe?

>>9861331
why are your motor skills so fucked that you can't control the movements of your hands enough to the point you are literally smearing shit on your balls

>>9861340
My balls are fucking massive and I have very little space between them and my thick thighs. My motor skill are fine but I'm not willing to risk getting shit on my balls when I can just stand up.

>>9861357
>my balls fill the whole toilet and I can't reach my ass
do you have little t-rex arms?

>>9861322
I wipe standing up with one leg on the counter so I can see my asshole in the mirror and ensure i’m getting all the fecal matter.

>>9861382
>>9861322
I have a 12x12 mirror on the floor that i squat over because i have skin tags and if i wipe without looking ill miss a spot or make it bleed

This happened in "one fell swoop"? You saw someone wiping their arse while they were doing the dishes?

I'm now learning that people wipe sitting down, that sounds insane to me. If I tried that my hand would dip into the toilet, maybe I just have a shallow toilet at my house. Also, you are savages.

>>9861357
ohhhh I see, it's a fat person thing

>>9861015
the only people who wipe sitting down were taught by their mommies.

like seriously. how the hell do you get it clean unless you're up on your feet?

>>9861393
surgery
u
r
g
e
r
y

>>9861322

I wipe standing up.

If there isnt a bidet i dont remove the poop before i get home

>>9861463
>fat people do anything standing up
Your logic is flawed, sir.

>>9861015
those arent people anon rest assure they are subhuman scum. sleep easy knowing you and i are better than this.

>>9861481
i know a guy who wrote his thesis paper for his psyc degree on crumpling or folding toilet paper when you wipe and if you wipe twice with the same piece or not

>>9861497
I have never seen a bidet in my life.

>>9861405
No. I was over at a new friend's house and saw them wash the dishes in such an abominable way. Not dirty a pig, btw, their house is immaculate. I concealed my horror effectively, I think, but I still had to ask. One thing lead to another and different friend (who apparently uses the same method) joked with "I bet you also wipe sitting down".

World -----> crumbles

Amerilards wear street shoes that have tromped through blood, urine, feces and vomit into their carpeted housing and pick up their spawns dropped pacifier and shove it back into their mouth, so why would they care if they have an unclean ass?

>>9861800
OBSESSED.

>>9861666
They are not common in hell

>>9861800
Do all americans work in a hospital or something?

>>9861800
Hey guy from wherever the fuck you are from?

WE LEFT YOU THERE BECAUSE WE DID NOT HAVE ROOM FOR ASSHOLES. You are the left behind. Abandoned.

I remember when I first found out that there existed a group of savages so barbaric that they stand when they wipe, constricting the cheeks of their buttocks and thus restricting proper depth of wipe. I was a simpler, more naive man back then. Finding out that these people existed was like discovering Santa or the tooth fairy wasn't real, and even worse, that they were among me, among even the people I trusted, befriended, and loved.

I felt like I could no longer trust any preconceived notions I had of the world I grew into by that point. What other vast and infinite inconsistencies to my world view exist, forever trapped behind unspoken of walls. Do I breathe strangely? Touch myself in a bizarre manner? Floss my teeth like a madman? How much have I been wrong about to assume was just the nature of man?

>>9861960
Apparently, there are also people who shit in the shower.

>>9861015
>>9861322
literally sticking your hands in a fucking toilet, that's fucking disgusting

>>9861015
I really can't.

i thought that how everyone washed plates...

I heard that Americans have to live with niggers lol

>>9862173
Only in the south, but even then it is no different than the average European muslim refugee.

>>9861015
first of all, stand-up wipers are superior. now... I refuse to believe that "I don't rinse the dishes" is a significant group of people.

>>9862125
we call those people "renters"

>>9861393
nigga just get a bidet attachment

>>9862209
Bidets don't have a 100% success rate.

>>9861331
i dun have a ball sack

>>9861322
I did up until the age of 15, when I did some serious self-evaluation and corrected every last one of my flaws.

>>9862240
This.

I'm all kinds of uncomfortable now. What is the right way to do either?

>>9861639
Everyone folds, surely...

>>9862339
I pull.

>>9862374
wat

>>9861481
triggered

> be me
> be at mother in law's for the first time
> see her do dishes in manky dishwater
> 12 years of anxiety every time she invites us over even for a cuppa

Oh, there are people like that out there alright.

If you wipe standing up then you're not wiping properly and missing shit that you're carrying around all day, no wonder people avoid you and give you strange looks, they know the smell is coming from you, while you just sit there casually ignorant because you can't smell yourself.

There's people out there who don't even wash their hands ever, and many people who spend hours fondling themselves and then go around touching stuff.

>>9862339
No. It's a tradeoff situation. Folding uses less paper, but tends to allow poo particles to break through onto your hand. Crumpling uses more paper, but keeps instances of poo hand fewer.

Front to back is cleaner than back to front. Squat wiping is cleaner than both sitting and standing. Squat pooping is superior to sitting, physiologically. It straightens out the colon or something, allowing poop to come out easier, reducing odds of hemorrhoids and poop-strain heart attacks.

>>9863204
All of the pro-squatting propaganda research comes from Panjab University. They're incredibly biased, as you might imagine.

>>9861850
>Do all americans work in a hospital or something?

I'm an American who does, and no, my work shoes don't come in the house.

>>9863210
Try it. Put your feet up on a foot stool or something and lean forward next time you take a shit.

>>9863228
That's common knowledge but that doesn't mean it's feasible in every day situations. I don't go about my day carrying around a stool.

To the thread. No-one should ever stand to wipe unless they can't physically reach otherwise. Even putting their hand between their legs to wipe in a backwards fashion is preferable to standing.

>>9861960
Constricting the cheeks? If you tilt your back like you're about to get fucked in the ass your cheeks are spread far enough. Yes, i wipe standing.

>>9863228
A lot of people subconsciously attempt an optimal poop squat on their toilets by leaning forward and raising their knees on the balls of their feet, but it doesn't quite make the colon line up right and their calves get tired too soon.

>>9861015
wipe standing up and use flushable wipes to get completely clean
using toilet paper never gets you clean and is for retards

Who the Fuck doesn't rinse? You mean there's a probability I've eaten off someone's dirty ass dishes because they can't be fucked to rinse grimy suds off their shit?

>>9863244
I normally first wipe with normal toilet paper, and then with wet paper i clean it thoroughly, then another paper to dry it.

>>9863237
That's kinda what I was getting at. If by standing they mean a spread-legged, partial squat, I think that's a better wipe than sitting. If they're stand-wiping without semi-squatting at all yeah, there's no way they're getting all of it with their ass cheeks clenched. Any position that stops the glutes from clenching is better.

>>9863252
This. I also do it while sitting down.

Sitting, and rinsing master race reporting for duty

Only manlets can wipe sitting down. A normal sized man finds it too cumbersome to reach back without smacking everything behind and still balance forward.

>>9863276
t.10ft fatso
I'm 187cm and overweight and can still wipe sitting no drama

>>9861331
>Wiping back to forward.

>>9861015
t. fresh prince

>>9861322
I wipe standing up. Spread that asscheeck with one hand and really get in there till it's clean. Sucks when I'm at places that don't take this into account. For instance, the bathrooms at my gym have sensors that automatically flush the toilet after you stand up. So the toilet could flush several times during a shit.

My shitwit housemate thinks running something under the tap for a second and then sweeping a scrubbing brush across the surface once is somehow akin to cleaning. As if the brush is a magic wand.

I have to rewash everything he does before I use it. Don't forget to like and subscribe to my blog.

How the fuck do you wipe standing up unless you have a thigh gap?

>>9863370

>>9863322
>I wipe standing up. Spread that asscheeck with one hand and really get in there till it's clean.

This is one of those discussions I simply cannot explain to my gf when she wanders in the room and asks what I'm doing...

>>9863370
You bend your back and spread your legs, like you're about to get assfucked

>>9861393
Take a nail clipper to the skin tags. Doesn't hurt much.

>>9861960
Santa is real, he just doesn't go around the world himself you fucking that
Why the fuck do you think he has all those other Santa's at malls? He has them help him out with deliveries
You must be a moron if you think santa isn't real.

>>9863496
the fuck? my life's been flipped, turned upside down. there's standing wipers who go under the bridge instead of around the corner??

I must admit that in order for this interesting ass wiping thread to appear more relevant to the board, people who rinse their dishes in dirty water are disgusting.

>>9863508
or just scrape them off with a straight razor, that's what I do. I say scrape and not shave because theyr'e surprisingly tough, you'll need a loaded strop for touch ups

do americans really sit down to wash the dishes?

>>9863708
do americans really wipe their asses with their dishes?

People who wipe while sitting are unclean animals. How do you check the paper to see its clean and know your ass is all good? If you dont do that, even the tiniest smear will collect with the sweat in your crack and give you swamp ass to wipe later anyways, and the smell will be rancid and clear to anyone near you. And if you do check, why go through the hassle of dipping your hand into the toilet and then maneuvering it out without allowing it to touch your ass/back to check and then finally drop itt back in?

>>9863931
How deep do you think an ass gets inside the john, you ninny?

>>9863945
Sorry i dont have the hands of a small Asian child and would rather not risk my hands dipping into water full of my piss and shit. This still doesnt answer the question of how you check the paper, or why go through the rigorous process when you can stand, bend over, squat a bit, and spread your cheek with one hand for the cleanest wipe.

>>9863945
He's a lardass. His ass cheeks probably touch the water.

>>9861015
>>9861322
Does slightly raising yourself from the seat counts? I'm like doing a half squat when I wipe.

>>9863204
>Folding uses less paper, but tends to allow poo particles to break through onto your hand.
If they only use two pieces of paper, maybe.

>>9863949
>risk my hands dipping into water full of my piss and shit.
Flush the toilet before you wipe

>>9863986
>flush toilet while sitting
>splashes onto my ass
>stand up to flush
>might as well wipe while im already up

The water level in American toilets is actually very high. Almost kissing your asscheeks. They designed it like this so the turd will slip silently into the water and reduce splashing. This is why Americans have to stand to wipe. It's also a great way to combat the obesity problem.

>>9864001
>its true of my toilet so its true of everyone else's

>>9863949
Why are you overcomplicating things? I angle myself accordingly without having to physically touch my ass (which has just been inside the toilet - why would I want to touch it?). Reach around, wipe, drop, wipe, drop. Then slightly elevate hand, turn my head, check, drop. All without ever leaving the immediate area. People who sit up will have their muddy cheeks clap at least once unless they keep their ass open with their hand which, frankly, is disgusting. And then they have to wipe, check, drop like the rest of us -- only they do it from a fucking distance. So while you find people who reach around to wipe without ever having their hand touch anything unsavory manky, you have no problem grabbing your own shitty ass and holding it open while essentially taking your freaking shit for a walk.

Brilliant.

>>9864001
>he thinks America has some kind of toilet water level rule

>>9864037
You dont need to reach inside the crevice of your anus to spread your cheek, just like a toilet seat holds your cheeks spread by touching the cheek itself.

Where am I?
Is this the food and cooking channel?

>>9864001
Uhhh all toilets in america are not uniform.

Also I wipe standing up, mainly because there is nothing in the world worse than having your phallus end dip a little into the water during the act of defecation. Absolutely disgusting.

>>9864066
>the body process isn't part of the food experience
I bet you hang your toilet paper wrong tol

Who the hell still wages dishes with their hands anymore? Do you live in a third world country? I can't remember the last time I washed dishes, dishwashers are a thing for a reason you know.

>>9864130
You partially wash dishes or set them in soap to soften for about 5 minutes; then rinse them off quickly and toss in the dish washer.

>>9861405
This can happen if you eat at Denny’s

>>9864130
Good luck getting that caked on grime washed off in the dishwasher

>>9861322

I stand up and face the toilet while wiping so I can see what I did. Take pride in your work.

>>9863204
I don’t know about you but my poop hole is a perfect circle. How can wiping in different directions make any difference?

As for sitting and wiping I can’t fit my hand in the toilet to do this even if I had any inclination to do so. Standing with bent knees has all of the benefits people are claiming for sit wiping.

>>9864163
It's not about your asshole, it's about where the paper goes after. Obviously you don't wipe by just patting your asshole, but by swiping over it.

Women absolutely should not wipe back to front, because they can get shit in their vagina; it's a great way to get an infection.

Men can get shitty balls, which, while not as significant, is still unpleasant.

I also stand with bent knees to wipe, but wish I could squat. Not sit, but squat.

>>9864130
People who want the washing done quickly.

>>9864187
...and effectively. Dishwashers, although convenient, are not as efficient in removing grime, plus they dull/scratch the china.

>>9864113
Fuck I hate those small roundbowl toilets. You either have to put your junk on the seat or press it up against the inside of the bowl. Know you this, small roundbowl toilet havers: if I have to take a dump at your house I'm going to shit onto a toilet paper nest on the floor and scoop it into the bowl with whatever I can find in there.

>>9861015
I not only had an ex who did both, he would also leave the dishes soaking until right after he went to the toilet, with the reasoning that he wouldn't have to wash his hands after taking a shit since, hey, they'd get clean while he brushed down the plates anyway.

He was also known to take big piles of dirty, caked on dishes in the shower with him. He reckoned that the soapy water while he was cleaning himself sufficed. He wasn't a bf for long.

>>9864250
.... Sounds mentally disabled. How was that dicc tho.

>>9864254
Cut

>>9864174
Sadly, believe most women wipe in the bad direction. Having no wieners or balls to impede their hand, the temptation to reach between their legs is too great. Put your hand between your legs and notice the way your fingers are positioned. It would be comically impractical to wipe front to back like this. I like women, but sorry, they're disgusting. Betcha 75% of them wipe poop into their vaginas from reaching under instead of around.

>>9864267
As a female, I can confirm that this is, in fact, bullshit.

>>9864271
Prove it. You can't. You can say what you do, but you cannot speak for the other 75%.

>>9864266
Bad form. Good luck in the future.
>>9864271
Obviously.

>>9864283
And you can?! Are you okay, anon? You seem to be losing touch with reality. What temptation are you talking about? Generally speaking, you are taught early how to wipe and then you just... do. It becomes second nature. There is no temptation, no devil I have to fend off every time I want to clean my holes. I do it safely and effectively, clean myself properly and go on about my business. As do 84,4% of the women on this planet. Fact.

>>9864286
Thank you. Quality of life has been significantly improved since.

>>9864307
I've actually been single for the last year and it's really helped me mentally, financially and been a bit of a growing experience. Funny know you can get out of something so miffed and unhappy with things that you turn your life around.

But to stay on topic; I cannot believe that these people who think standing is weird are genuine. Either way unless you're military or something you're guaranteed to some privacy so it doesn't really matter anyway.
What I do not understand is just doing a quick clean up on the outside and calling it good enough. Disgusting.

>>9864303
I don't have to prove it. Some years ago I stumbled upon the strange places on adult content themed sites with the hidden bathroom cam footage. That didn't do it for me or anything, but you know how sometimes you just can't look away? Anyway, hours and hours of footage and thousands of women later I started counting the ratio of front to back wipers and back to front wipers. Horrifically, it was about 25/75. Go look for yourself if you're brave enough.

>>9864334
fuck, I checked just now and he's right

in fact it's even less than that... and a good number of them didn't even wipe at all

>>9864338
>>9864334
Sure, dear. That happened.

Bless.

>>9864351
Dont call him dear, you faggot.

>>9864351
I don't think he had time to look in three minutes, either. I spent hours tallying it, kind of approaching it like a sociological study. Thanks, you too.

>>9864355
Confirmed triggered.

>post count doesnt go up
>samefag continues to samefag in an attempt to poorly troll the only two other people in the thread with something that effects neither of them
g-good work anon... y-you really got 'em.

>>9864372
retard

>>9864375
(you)

>>9863322
Just cover the sensor with a piece of paper to stop it from flushing.

>>9864387
>post count doesnt go up
g-good work anon... y-you really got me. cock sucking faggot

>>9864389
>different anons claiming to have done the same research and watched the same footage posting within 2 minutes of eachother with jacked up information and baseless claims that even if they were true; don't effect others
Uhh..... Have another (you)

>>9864400
>post count doesnt go up
>post count doesnt go up
>post count doesnt go up
>post count doesnt go up
>post count doesnt go up

>>9864402
>let me focus on a grammatical error, then I won't be a cunt!

>>9864372
you realize the count is not going to go if they already posted in the thread earlier

it doesn't necessarily mean samefagging, there can be multiple anons in a thread having a conversation

>>9864424
It actually doesn't even matter since they're both saying the same thing. Calling someone 'samefag' can also mean to dismiss their claims as their only back up or source is themselves.
Have another (you).
>you realize the count is not going to go if they already posted in the thread earlier
..... Hence the poster count number... No shit.

>>9864429
what? that's not what samefagging means at all

and I think you're missing the point about the poster count

why do you see anons posting multiple times in a thread as a bad thing?

>>9864429
>>9864434
>>9864424
reddit typing

>>9864434
Anons posting multiple times in a thread is not a bad thing, but when someone suddenly agrees with them in support of blatant bait with two minutes between their posts it's obvious.
>what that's not what samefag means at all
Hello, and welcome to 4chan.

>>9864443
just because you don't agree with it, doesn't mean it's samefagging dude

I can't take anyone who uses the word "poop" seriously. Speak like a fucking adult, for Christ's sake. Jesus.

>>9864447
>obviously pushing bait
>'okay bro'
Come. On. Making claims and agreeing with yourself within 2 minutes, posting no sources on a discussion about wiping your ass. I think you're taking this a bit too seriously.

>>9864462
Cry more, pussy. I would knock your ass out and poop on your face :^).

>>9864465
Still doesn't mean it's the same person. Just because there are two posts you deem as "bait" still doesn't mean it's samefagging. It could simply be 2 different anons baiting.

>>9864477
>two posts fueling each other on a source neither can provide but 'vouch' for
>it could simply be 2 different anons baiting
No shit. That's Please go back to breddit.

>>9864334
>>9864338
I just checked too, he's right

>when your post about having studied bathroom habits via amateur porn voyeurism videos sparks an argument between some dorks about samefagging, yet nobody actually cares about finding out for themselves if what you wrote was true.

Y'all are boring.

>>9864506
I tentatively believe you could have gotten through enough footage by now to sort of have an impression of the ratios by this point.

>>9864515
Because it isn't 2004 anymore and that shit isn't edgy?
>>9864506
Oh look another person without source for me to give a (you) too!

>>9864334
I don't know about 25/75 but I picked up pretty early in my "career" that most women don't know how to wipe and started explaining to them when I was helping whem with it (RN).
A LOT of them had never heard about the pretty obvious benefits of front-to-back before.
I assume just as many men are ignorant but they're less prone to infection from it.
Nursing sure is glamorous.

>>9861393
>>9863508
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

>>9864546
That's interesting. I actually know an RN. I'll have to ask her for her opinion next time I see her. She'll probably find it funny. Medical people tend to have weird senses of humor (or none at all).

>>9864529
Who's being edgy? Doof.

>>9864271
>>>/r9k/

>>9861393
>>9863508
>>9863689
nah senpai Im being trolled

>>9864546
>>9864668
Oh, and I have no clue about how many men might be back to front wipers. I don't think I could watch those videos, should they even exist. I don't think I can make that assumption though. Your junk really does get in the way of an ergonomic between the legs back to front wipe.

>>9864706
Most people don't wipe in a direction; they wipe to clean up the job. It's not a uniform repeated action.

>>9864706
Not so... if you are a male back to fronter, it is because you have the right anatomy for it. At the asshole edge of my taint, I have a slight ski jump that allows me to scoop shit very well without touching anywhere near my balls. I bet my asshole is cleaner than it could be from any other pratice than a post shit shower.

Guys. But how do you clean your dishes?

Front to back?

>>9864736
I leave the sink once they're wet and soapy, turn around and begin to wash them.

Wipe sitting, folded paper, front to back, always rinse dishes, leave to dry (no towel fluff on my shit). put in a cupboard.

The life of true royalty.

>>9865382
if you're a man, you should always wipe back to front
this reduces the risk of pylonidal cysts
you do not want a pylonidal cyst

>>9861913
We'll all die together, anon.

>>9862125
>wipe standing
>shower sitting
>ass is literally never clean

>>9865458
>shower sitting

*shitting

>wiping your own ass
>not having a Filipino maid clean and powder your ass

>>9865443
why rush it? stay over there.

>>9863508
This works. Just make sure it's clean and disinfected, and cauterize/disinfect the tiny wound afterwards. I did it and it saves money plus a trip to the doc.

>>9861393
What the fuck

>>9861393
those arent skin tags, skin tags usually don't bleed

>>9866256
you are gross for knowing that.

>>9866261
why is that gross? i've had a small skin tag on my eye lid before, got it removed, i think they can grow anywhere the skin creases