/ck/ - Food & Cooking

bite the end off a drumstick and suck the ice cream from the bottom.

Unrolling the sausage roll, eating the pastry and meat separately.

>>9843701
I did that half the time. The issue is if it's not melted enough then it's hard to get much out without biting upwards to the top.

eric cartman says you can eat food backwards, if you know what i mean

if I'm eating a slice of bread sometimes I crush it into a a cylinder like shape to grasp it better

>>9843762
Yes, I saw that episode. Can you shit backwards, Anon?

>>9843823
how else do you think he posts

>>9843683
Both of my parents eat burgers with knife and fork. Never understood why.

>>9843683
Friend of mine eats pizza like a wrap. Like he takes the pizza, rolls it into a wrap like shape and bites into it.

>>9844105
get better friends, old chap.

>>9843848

>>9843683
ITT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqDzoCuDypk

>>9844113
He's a really good friend. He just has weird eating habits.

I've known him since preschool playing in the sandbox times.

One more thing he does is making what he calls a "Batzen", which involves taking tons of random shit out of the fridge and putting it all on one slice of bread. Like 4 different kinds of sausage, some slices of cheese, Nutella and strawberry jam or something like that and then he munches that shit down like it's ambrosia.

>>9844141
i envy you. i moved a lot as a kid and never had longterm friendships. trying to have male friends now is impossible. nobody bonds as friends as adults, really. anyway, he seems like a maniac. i would sleep with one eye open if hes around.

>>9844147
>he seems like a maniac. i would sleep with one eye open if hes around.

We're both pretty fucked up, kek. It's a good fit.

A few days ago he called me in the middle of the night and pretended to be a policeman who was warning me that my penis was in serious danger and that it would fall off if I didn't come online to play Path of Exile with him..

We're both 35, btw..

>>9844177
My intuition has been proven to be keen. Your report confirms my suspicions. This kid is a menace to society. Be CAREFUL when he is around. Watch your back.

I drink soup instead of eating it.

>>9844181
Will do, kek.

>>9843683
I like to take a soft pastry like a muffin or a pound cake slice and squish it into a ball and eat it. No idea why, but I'm just compelled to do it.

>>9844313
Same. I think its textural. Less air, denser texture

>>9844313
I do something similar with those marzipan "potatoes" that are sold during the Christmas season. I knead them with my fingers until they're soft long noodles and eat them like that. Dunno, it somehow enhances the taste.

I learned recently people don't eat the whole kiwi they scoop out the insides we a spoon to eat it

>>9844409
where im from we eat it with a straw. the process is weird and would take a long time to type, so im not going to. just know that people eat kiwi with a straw.

>>9844375
>Dunno, it somehow enhances the taste
Larger surface area, more space to taste.

>>9843683
>>9843683
Eating chocolate bars with a knife and fork.

>get a bunch of mini Reeses peanut butter cups

>let them get up to room temp
>pry the cap of chocolate off
>peel away the sides and the bottom until the nugget of peanut butter pops out
>eat the chocolate
>repeat
>eat the gigantic pile of peanut butter remaining all at once

>>9844572
how long has it been since you felt the sun on your skin in real life?

>get 2 pop-tarts
>gnaw away at the outer crusts
>slide off/eat off the bottom crust of both
>combine 2 icing + filling layers
>A WEAPON TO SURPASS THE METAL GEAR
>eat while masturbating

>>9844375
>>9844419
more skin oils and dead skin.

>>9843701
Fag

I tear the hamburger (with the buns and stuff) into pieces with my hands. To be more clear, I tear a piece off and then I have said piece and repeat until finishing the hamburger. I don't cut it into many pieces at once and leave them on the plate.

I eat bamba with a fork.

My granddad has champagne with breakfast almost every day since he retired (except during Lent).

>>9844093
>Both of my parents eat burgers with knife and fork. Never understood why.

Biting off chunks of food and leaving saliva-stained bite marks in it is suboptimal from the point of view of aesthetics.

That's the 'canon' etiquette reason for anything larger than bite-sized requiring a knife and fork in Western etiquette.

I knew a guy who would use knife and fork to cut his entire steak into small pieces (which made all the juices flow out onto plate) before laying off the knife, putting the fork in his right hand and then just eating with fork alone.

>>9844933
I've met a Yank once too.

I like cutting up my food into little pieces. Sometimes it feels kind of childish.

>>9844321
The orange shit is half the fun, unless there's nothing to wash your hands with nearby.

>>9844803
Honestly I don't care if it tastes good

>>9844933
I do that when I'm eating junk quality steak while drunk, kek. Plus some teriyaki sauce on the plate so the meat can soak it all up

>>9843683
i got a burger and fries at a nice restaurant in Palos Verdes once. Didn't come with a bottom bun. got halfway through before the waitress came to check on us and I asked her if it's dsupposed to be that way.

it isn't. she had know idea how they fucked that up

Sometimes I'll eat each part of a big Mac separately. Bun, meat, bun, meat etc.

I don't do this with other burgers though. Occasionally when I'm near the end of the burger I'll start doing that though.

Sometimes I just toast bread and put two slices together with nothing in it, and eat that by itself after running

Also I eat bananas whole w/ the peel after washing it. Yellow peels are good, green peels too tough

I remove the filling from potstickers, eat it, and throw the wrapper away.

>>9845395
Fuck you.

>>9843683
Just eat to take away the taste of the god awful cheap wine I'm drinking like you would cold water on a hot day.

>>9843762
So girls must really like the taste of cucumbers

>>9843683
You might hate me for this, but I eat the Kinder Surprise eggs for the chocolate and throw the toys in the trash. I just like how the inner white chocolate coating tastes, but I don't give a fuck about the toys.

Instead of just eating a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I eat the whole box.

>>9844893
What champagne?

>>9845467
Considering they shit by the mouth in the south park episode, I think a vegan diet would make sense.

>>9846075
Cardboard?

>>9843683
I eat a soft serve of ice cream in five minutes
1.lick the top until blunt
2.lick it until the ice cream is level as cone
3.bite on the cone's top corner rim
4.bite the cone top part
5.lick it until it pushed down to the bottom cone part
6.eat the top bottom part, push the cream to the lowest part of the cone (the waffle)
7. Eat the ice cream waffle
The whole process is long enough but I do it everytime without fail.

>>9844572
>Implying they're made with peanut butter

>>9846070
>I don't give a fuck about the toys
Not surprising, the toys are trash. 43 year old Germanfag here, the toys were a lot better when I was a kid. It was stuff that you really had to assemble, from a dozen parts, little cars for instance or tiny catapults. No fucking painted plastic trash figurines.

>>9843683
I always bit off the stalk of the mushroom and eat the slices of the cap.
Also I always put boiled quail eggs in my mouth until it is flat, and then eat it.
I also eat the white part of boiled egg last.
If there is a chicken I usually tore it down, save a piece
and eat it last
I put aside bits of food that I like and eat it at the last part of the meal.

>>9843683
If I'm eating any kind of meat and potatoes together I always eat a little of both in every bite, whether it's something like a burger and fries or meatloaf and mashed potatoes

>>9843683

I take muffins out of the paper cup, turn it upside down, put it back in the cup and eat from the bottom to the top

>>9846070
Adulthood is eating these

>>9844321
I eat M&Ms with a spork.

>>9844893
Living the dream

I'd prefer mimosas, but yeah

>>9843683
>I recently saw someone eat a (gourmet) burger by removing the top bun and using a knife and fork to eat the rest.
There's a place in London where I have to resort to that with their big burgers. I literally can't bite them, so was forced to split it in half and use a knife and fork.
Since that ALSO stopped melted cheese getting everywhere, I think I won.

>>9846347
Reece's literally sells their peanut butter in jars.

>>9843683
I often eat homemade chilli or red beans and rice without rice. I make wholemeal chapattis instead.

>>9843683
When I was a kid, I would mix kraft macaroni and cheese with applesauce. I don't know why.

>>9847359
I've had rice bubbles and soy sauce. not too bad

I ate raw nesquik [spoiler]bubblegum flavour, or sometimes mixed flavours.

Sometimes, I'll take two slices of pizza and slap them on top of each other, cheese to cheese, to make kinda like a false calzone.

crackers paste
grind crackers, add water, mix until it's a paste, eat mixed with your favourite spread

>>9846070
>>9846355
but the toys are cool and cute :(

>>9847398
Fuck ye. Pizza sandwich all the way. If doing that is wrong i dont wanna be right.

When I was a child I would eat pbj sandwiches, and when I took a bite i would chew it up in my mouth and spit it out on my hand and shape it into a ball and then nibble on that.

I like to take a fistful of goldfish, stuff my mouth and chew it until its nice and pasty. I then spit it out and roll it into a ball and let it dry for a bit then I'll eat it.

I eat spaghetti completely without chewing them.

>>9847965

I eat uhhhh boneless
Dole Dippers

No Jack WebM yet

I don't know where to be impressed or disappointed.

Probably impressed since he's a faggot.

Eat a 3 musketeers by first eating off the 4 sides of chocolate and the top layer. Then enjoy that sweet sweet nougat with just the bottom layer of chocolate

i mix cereal with ice cream as toppings

>>9848601
wait, are you a penguin wtf

>Eating a pizza crust first
Absolutely disgusting. After the world wide communist revolution, you crust eaters are all going to gulag.

>>9843683
My friend used to remove the bun and eat the patty with his hands. Then afterwards ate the bun with all its goodies. No matter how much I told him he's ruining it he still continued.
Made no sense, I hope now that he's grown up he's grown more civilized

>>9843848

>>9844911
I want to say kys but this is probably the reason my mom eats pies with a knife and fork. Same with pizza.
I think those foods should be classified as finger foods since American culture has perforated our own enough.

>>9844793
I thought I was the only person who did this. I have to do it or I can't eat poptarts.

>>9845021
My gf says the same when see begs me to let her suck my knob.
Go figure
>>9846529
>>>9844321
>I eat M&Ms with a spork.
I fuck your mom with my dick

Monkeys don't even eat the peel.

>>9847398
This is a dumb way to cut pizza, it results in several slices with no crust, and therefore no where to grab hold of them. But then again, that's the kind of pizza that has the sauce and cheese all the way to the edge for no goddamned reason so the person who made it is definitely retarded. Crust is supposed to be there as a convenient handle one can hold without getting their fingers overly greasy or covered in sauce.

>>9844967
Is this Americans' idea of fun?

>>9845298
tfw I have to do this because of my small fucking mouth can't open wide enough to take comfortable bites of the whole burger

>>9846355
This. I was disappointed when I bought these as an adult.
Back to building lego I guess.

>>9843683
I eat kiwi with the skin still on it.

>>9847947
>>9847965

Imagine going through the effort of carrying a child for 9 months, all the costs involved with raising a child, all the sacrifices needed to be made for them only to one day see them eating this way.

I'd kill myself.

>>9846345
Is there some other way I don't understand?

>>9847391
>bubblegum nesquick
wat

>>9843780 this may sound ludicrous but remove the crust mush it into a tight little ball then microwave it for 30 seconds

I used to scrape the toppings off of totinos pizzas and eat them, then roll up the crust and eat it like a burrito.

Not too odd, but I like putting a cracker in my mouth and letting it dry my mouth out. Then "rehydrate" it with a swish of a drink. It's very satisfying every time.

>>9843683

I prefer to eat soft/large cookies by tearing off pieces with my fingers instead of biting into them.

>>9850206
This is normal

so those jellies that come out around xmas. they're covered in chocolate, flavored either with orange or raspberry, and shaped like long sticks.
well I eat all the chocolate off and then just let the jelly melt in my mouth or play with it excessively.

>>9850206
are you also one of those people who finger their muffins?

>>9843848
100000/10

>>9843683
I don't chew as much as I should LOL . . .

>>9846355
>>9849772
>this is how pathetic men are in the 21st century
Stop playing with toys

>>9850399
>stop being like men
wait where have i heard this before

>>9843683
buy cheapo frozen pizza
let thaw enough to bend
throw spinach and ricotta on there
fold and place in apartment's tiny convection oven
cook for a bit
flip
cook until done

First time was an accident because my boyfriend bought too large of a pizza for the oven but it's honestly really good.

>>9843683
I eat my butter raw.
I just polished off the last of a brick of salted butter.

i eat pretzel sticks by biting them into two or three pieces and swallowing whole, sometimes choking lightly in the process.

>>9843762
You know, I'm really curious now. If I made slurries of liquid with all the nutrients I needed to survive, could I live solely by giving myself nutrient enemas? Could I eschew the use of my mouth entirely, rendering it irrelevant?
Can I survive solely with my asshole? This will keep me awake tonight.

Pizza with __________

>>9844510
did somebody say Flavortown?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAIgCb3cctE

>>9851281
what did anon mean by this

>>9851276
Saltletts - when will they learn?

>>9847391
>rice bubbles
>bubblegum nesquik

>>9849849
oh my god! is that dog dead?

>>9846402
>not kinder buenos

>>9843780
Have you tried baguette?

>>9850399
It was still the 20th century, kiddo. Go play with your playstation 6 or whatever kids have this day.

>>9851277
I'm afraid that would work Anon.

>>9850399
t.overcompensating millennial who faps to traps and then blames the libruls

>>9844793
Oh my FUCKING God I need to try this.

I already eat the edges of my Pop Tarts first and then the middles, but you have awoken me to the concept of elevating my game to a whole other level.

>>9851277
you have to get it past the ileocecal valve into the small intestine so maybe if you got a long tube and were lucky. Also it would all have to be the constituent nutrients not requiring enzymes like protease or lipase

>>9844409

where I am people eat the whole thing, like an apple, skin and all.

>>9846345

This is how everybody eats soft serve

>>9846070
Here in America we eat the toys instead

>>9843683
>Grab a bunch of chips
>Chew them
>Spit them
>Perfect dip for the rest of my chips

>>9843757
do people actually do that?

>>9843683
I tend to eat my sandwiches and burgers upside down.

Impeach

Oatmeal with condensed milk and ovaltine
Oatmeal with condensed milk and molasses
Oatmeal with marmite and black pepper
Oatmeal with tahini

I highly recommend all of these.

>>9843683

If I ever have a burger with bacon on it I'll usually pull the bacon out and eat that separately, mainly just because I do want to eat bacon, but whenever it's on a burger I usually end up accidentally pulling all of it out by accident when I take a bite.

Same with bacon or large pepperoni on pizza, basically for the same reason, it drags other shit off the pizza unless I eat carefully.

>>9843848
ba dum tiss

>>9844409
I thought you had to peel the thing, cut it in slices, and serve it on a plate. Eating it with a spoon was a fucking revelation

>>9851277
no m8 sorry, a lot of nutrient absorption happens in the small intestine

...I take the toppings of any kinda of pizza, eat that first, then the actual bread. Done this since I was a kid.

>>9854537
crack open your burg and lay it horizontally rather than vertically

>>9843683
Usually when eating some sort of baked good like cookies or pie, even pancakes
I'll take a bit of the food, then a swig of milk. chew and mix until it has the consistency of like, cakemix, and then swallow. Rinse and repeat until said food is gone.

>>9852710
And that's the reason why they're banned in Murica. People can't tell brightly coloured plastic from milk chocolate.

>eat the crust on a toast first
>eat a bigmac in two separate layers

>>9844147
We can be your friends, anon.

I eat the apple starting from the top or bottom. That way, you barely realize there's a core, and you don't end up throwing 15% of it away.

>>9850120
>>9852681
Idk, it seems slow enough. The others just bite the icecream and cone in random, girls and boys.

>>9851253
I'm italian and I don't do that shit. You know, pride and stuff

>>9843683
I eat raw instant noodles

>>9847398
This looks like how Tool would cut their pizza before a show

is dipping soft pretzels into hot chocolate a thing?

>>9843683
Eating a burger with a knife and fork actually sounds like a good idea.
My hands normally end up covered in sauce and it's hard to pick up a French fry if you're eating a burger that requires two hands.
Might try doing this next time I get a burger.

If I’m eating left-over meat from last nights dinner, I cover it in apple cider vinegar. I don’t know. Something about cold steak and the tang of vinegar is great to me. Any meat, really. Pork and chicken are good with this too.

>>9843848
hahhahah!

>>9844253
>>9844177
did you fuck tho?

>>9844793
Oh damn someone else does this. The smores ones are best for this. Gotta line up those tracks so they don't get muddy.

>>9848629
I'd do that as a kid, but I'd eat the bottom one as well and get my hands real sticky with the pure nougat. Even had a method where I'd keep the bar in the wrapper, only exposing an inch at a time to avoid the sticky hand situation.

I forgot about that. One of my favorite parts of road trips/camping along with playing Pokemon crystal.

>>9855366
Extra fiber, my dude. The patrician way to eat apples.

>>9844321
I legitimately do this. I fucking hate that orange shit staining my fingers for the rest of the day.

>>9843683
Eating a Sausage Egg McMuffin one layer at a time with a knife and fork.

>>9846345
I do the same thing.

>>9844321
>>9844967
>>9858256

>not just pouring the bag into your fat fucking face

>>9855225
which big mac layer only has 1 bun?

>>9851277
You'd be forging all the pre-digestion that happens in the stomach and of course the small intestine does lots of shit too.
pun semi-intended

>>9849849
>I eat kiwi with the skin still on it.
I do that, I kind of like the skin.

Is it weird if I dip my cookies in water? I can't be the only one.

>>9846345
So like a normal fucking person

>>9859789
is milk too spicy for you? how black are you?

>go to pizza place with friend
>folds his pizza slice like a taco
>nigga you what
>"Hey hombre this is italian food not mexico food"


some people are idiots

>>9843701
Hot

>>9845395
>wrapper

>>9851293
well meme'd

>>9843683
I love eating pizzas like Homer. I'm sickened by myself

I make peanut butter and jelly clubs. I work a 12 hour shift, so one sandwich isn't enough to carry me through, but I don't finish two. So a club, three slices of bread, jelly on the outside pieces and peanut butter on both sides of the I side piece of bread.

I also like toasted pb&js. Toast the bread then assemble, the peanut butter gets all warm and soaks into the bread.

>>9860724
hey i'm not alone

When I eat chips I mush them up in my mouth until they are soft and pretend its mashed potatoes

I unironically eat KitKats wrong, it started with trying to annoy a friend but they genuinely taste better that way.

>>9844131
>not available in your country

>>9843683
>Toasted cinnamon raisin bagel
>Pour runny peanut butter all over it
>Eat it like biscuits and gravy

>>9858479
I still want to buy one of these.

>>9844105
I do that if it's Ledo's pizza

>>9844510
kek/10

>>9849441
I pity your boyfriend

>>9843701
slut

>>9860264
What else would you call it?

>>9843757
What the fuck you’re mentally ill you are.

>>9852725
ew

>buy lil debbie oatmeal pies
>Place one in ziploc
>Microwave till warm and gooey
>Mash into oatmeal goo
>Cut tip of Ziploc bag
>Pipe molten hot oatmeal goo in mouth

>>9850399
why do you care what other people do with their time? it doesn't affect you at all

>>9843683
I eat my hamburgers by the layers. topbun down.

I

>>9843848
Nice

>>9849280
hows 9th grade going anon?

>>9844147
Can I be your friend? I moved almost every year of my childhood and have no one but coworkers I never do anything with. I'm a girl (male)

>>9843701
was the chocolatey nugget in drumsticks and conscience decision or just a byproduct of the cone lining process?

when eating a sandwich, i alwayseat the crust first. but always every part of the crust EXCEPT the two spots where the top and bottom crusts meet. these are for some reason always the best part of the sandwich

I bite maltesers in half and then suck on the malted milk till the chocolate shell collapses

>>9843683
>pic related
>scrape all creme of ALL COOKIES
>make giant creme ball
>eat entire ball slowly, savorinf the beetus
>dip cookies in milk

Or

>double stuf cookies
>remove top cookie of one and top layer of the second
>combine
>quadruple stuf

I can't even buy sandwich cookies because of how many I eat like this

I eat a slice of pizza until there's an even amount of pizza and crust, then fold and eat it like a hot dog
I try not to do it in public though

>>9862244
I'd rather throw the white filling into the trash and enjoy the cookies, they are patrician as they are.

I have been doing since for the last 4-5 years
>Have a study session for schoolwork or a long day at work coming up
>Buy a large bag of grapes and a bag of skittles
>Take a grape and stuff a skittle inside the grape then eat it
>I call it a bag of scrapes or grittles

The liquid inside the grape and the skin cause the outer shell of the skittle to sort of crumble into a sugary goodness.

>>9844313
I put a brownie in a napkin and roll it into a turd shape. It's just like eating a candy bar or a turd.

sometimes i pour mixed nuts into a bowl with milk and eat it like cereal

>>9846347
Peanut butter cups are real peanut butter. Reese's Pieces are made of Penuche

>>9862814
I might try that, good protein snack

>pizza without tomato sauce

I eat Italian beef sandwiches by opening the sandwich and eating the beef one slice at a time. Then I don't eat the bread.

>>9843683
I eat wings with a knife and fork

Eating fish and chips with your hands like some type of sub human cro-magnon mother fucker

>>9862928
you sound a little peeved, friend. it's very okay to eat fish and chips with your hands

>>9851253
Gays make thebest frozen pizza

>>9855014
So you like milk and cookies basically

>>9861294
Reevaluate yourself

Dry ramen as an alternative to chips.

>>9843757
I do this too

>>9862198
I'm glad I'm not the only one

>>9843683
I just eat bags of french fried onions like potato chips.

>chew food
>spit it out into bin
no calories

>>9849311
wash your hands/use a napkin

I open bananas the right way

>>9843683
My grandma eats Raisin Bran for breakfast every morning by pouring a bowl and picking out the raisins. She's done this for 50+ years. She insists it tastes better than just regular bran.

>>9850135
when I was a kid I would cut off the crust add butter then roll it up and smoosh the ends. then microwave it for 30 seconds

I eat the crust first on everything. Sandwiches, pizza, all of it

>>9863264
You should get her Raisin Bran crunch. It might change her life

chicken flavored cream cheese on plain ice cream cones

lemon juice on watermelon

toast with jam and scrambled egg whites on top

>>9864309
Not him, but have you ever tried to get an old person to try something new anon? In fact, people in general are generally fucking averse to trying new things.

>>9857509
Yeah, geeze, especially if I get one with a fried egg on it. Seriously tempted to get/make one for dinner and try it with a knife and fork just to see how much more I enjoy it.

>>9863183
Nope. Carbs begin their digestion in the mouth, sorry.

>>9843683
>my mum does this

>>9843683
In my last year of college, I ate peanut butter m&ms almost exclusively by cracking them with my teeth, extracting the peanut, and then eating the chocolate. I also used to freeze klondike bars very hard and then break the chocolate coating off and only eat that. About 6 months after that I started throwing up in a trash bag in my dorm room to keep my roommates from finding out and kept that up after graduation. It wasn't until February of this year that I kind of quit randomly. Sometimes I think back on those two years and remember feeling pretty normal, albeit a little sad or anxious. have you ever remembered something you did and realized that you were acting like a totally insane person?

>>9844131
dd--d\-d-=-as-s-d--d-d-d-dubs
friiiick OFF

>>9844793
i only eat one poptart at a time

>>9867129
mummy

when i eat cereal i avoid the milk and use the milk leftover for my coffee pic related is the best

>>9867845
That's genius, what the fuck

>>9867845
Huh.

>>9845298
Shane, is that you? Put your fucking false teeth in, dude

>>9844911
>>9844093
I don't like getting my fingers greasy. If it's a small burger and isn't overflowing with garbage/soaked in oil, hands are viable. Otherwise you can go fuck you'are self

>>9868177
lol fuck off

>>9867035
Wait what?
Just looked it up and salivary amylase is produced which helps break down the food, but surely if you spit it out it doesn't matter how broken down it is provided it isn't swallowed? I'm not declaring this with any kind of certainty I'm just trying to understand.

>>9867845
Thats actually a pretty good idea mate.

>>9844131
my mind went numb watching this.
there's no progression in their conversation. they are literally just talking. people watch this garbage?

I like to tear the ribs off of several stalks of celery and chew on it like cud.
I eat citrus fruit in 2-3 bites. 1 if possible.
I'll crack open the seed of a saladito and eat the cyanide nut inside
I have masturbated with produce several times, if that counts

>>9862050
this is the real question

>>9868498
It counts if you ate it after.

>>9868457
>people unironically have taste this shit
Take your meds, ADHD-kun.

>>9843683
I put several pieces of gum in my mouth. Someone stop me

>>9843683
i smash my front teeth against orange slices

I peel the cheese and toppings off of pizza, eat it, and then just eat the tomato sauce bread that’s left over.