/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9818940
>you are boiling a boneless skinless chicken breast
Kill myself

Glue his foreskin together

>>9818940
high five him. Cayenne is great

>>9818940
I would DEFINITELY let Chef John fuck my wife. I mean, I wouldn't even have to think about it.

>>9819007
sorry hes a friscan faggot

>>9819014
He has a wife apparently

Do you think Jamie Oliver could beat chef John in a fist fight?

>>9818959
I do believe the proper cucked french term is "poaching"

stop worrying about lumps in your roux

>>9819019
Jamie Oliver couldn't beat himself in a fist fight.

>>9819019
naw dude, have you seen chef john's hands? they are the type of fat hands that would knock a nigga out if someone got in the way of his cayenne.

>>9818940
I promptly kiss him passionately and deeply

>>9818972
Any proof Chef John was born outside the U.S.?

>>9820120
He's mentioned being uncircumcised in several videos

>>9820271
This seems unbelievable.

>>9820279
Some say he has a nuclear warhead stuffed in his underwear just in case.

>>9818940
I woULd stARt talKINg in a hyPNOtic sINg-sONg.

I'd give him the olllllll tappa tappa, if you know what I mean

>>9820271
>>9820279
He sometimes cooks in the nude too and there are a few videos where you can see his junk reflecting in things around the kitchen.
The microwave oven is especially revealing when he deigns to use it.

tell him I voted for donald trump

>boiling a chicken breast
no im not

>>9819026
No one poaches a chicken breast

>>9820279
>remember, you are the Quinton Flynn - of your intact foreskin.

>>9820073
r e k t
e
k
t

call him out for getting paid to shill products in his youtube videos and watch him chimp out

>>9824332
You memes... end here

>>9818940
BTK?

>>9820303
FrrrreEESHHllyy ground BLAaack pepper!

>>9824496
Gee, boss! How am I supposed to catch the BTK killer? I'm just a bag of popcorn!

>>9824450
>not wanting him to ram you on a Silpat brand baking sheet

>>9819018
he's a cuckold in chastity. Him and his wife are on fetlife.

>>9824526
gonna need sources on that claim

(i wouldnt even be surprised)

>>9824518

>le cayenne man

>>9821851
Cooking in the nude is a bold gamble.

>>9821851
proofs?

Legend has it he used human meat in place of veal once

im not familiar with ck memes, but what is wrong with a pinch of cayenne pepper on chicken

>>9820279

Shit, I live in the US and my mother said "why would I cut a bit off of my kid" and didn't do it. I remain intact. It happens, sometimes.

remember when Ja/ck/ got bamboozled and put cayanne pepper in his eye to "cure" himself of pinkeye?

>>9824691
bless your mom <3

>>9820120
He mentioned crossing the boarder with Canada several times when he was younger in one of his last videos

>>9824697
Fuck you

>>9824714
No he went to canada for booze and strippers

>>9824714
It was literally his last video you mong

>>9824733
Open up, big boi

>>9819026
"""poach""" myself then

>>9820120
I'm white and was born in the US and am not circumsized because my parents didn't get pressured into abiding by some barbaric Jewish ritual. Feels good to not be mutilated.

>>9825159

>>9825169
Any chance you were born in the South, possibly the really anti-semitic part?

>>9824508
underrated post

I love Chef John, made his miracle fudge yesterday and it turned out great

>>9827122
his recipes are really good and easy to follow desu

Wonder how some random skank and chef john ended up in my neet attic

>>9818940
I'd shove ghost pepper puré up his ass

>>9827668
It only gives him more power.

ADD CAYENNE TO EVERYTHING

>>9819028
Hot roux cold milk no lumps!

I'm sure you've all heard the rumours about Chef John being into weird shit and having a fetlife account? Well I'm here to tell you it is all true because I have had sex with Chef John, kind of.

Basically me and my wife used to be into this sort of fetish swinging and we'd often attend interesting parties in California, not too far from San Francisco. Anyway, every so often we'd go to this one place at the house of a woman my wife met at work. It was a nice place, pretty big with lots of rooms. Anyway the theme of this particular night was 'Cerviche Cumming' where everyone would cover themselves in citrus juices and fuck whilst pretending to be pieces of fish in a Cerviche Salad.

I was in the kitchen rubbing lemon juice over myself whilst watching my wife have her pussy eaten by a man dressed as a Buddhas Hand when this fucking disgusting fat naked guy with a creepy moustache came in, looking really nervous and unsure of himself. He was completely naked and smelt like a combination of Grapefruit and heat (which I assume now was from Cayenne) which made my eyes water so much that I missed my wifes leg spasms. Anyway the fat guy looked at my wife getting her pussy eaten and walked over to her face and lifted his stomach to get to his penis which he tried rubbing on her face. She looked disgusted as fuck and said something to him and he walked away looking nervous.

Later on she said that the guy had rubbed his cock on her whilst saying something about 'shaker shaker' or something, and that his penis was no more than 2 inches fully erect and tasted kind of like butter and celery mixed with burnt flour. On the way out the next day we saw a Chefs Coat hanging next to the door but apparently nobody knew where it came from.

I'm making his shepherds pie right now, I'll tell you how it turns out

>>9827783
Doesn't sound like the Chef John I know. Your asshole would register as a seismic level event if he decided to lay waste to it. Consider yourself fortunate he hasn't torn you asunder.

I'd fight him off with a freakishly small wooden spoon

>>9824691
I wish I still had my woody hoody. But I was saying it seems unbelievable that he mentioned it in a video, not that he wasn't circumcised.

>>9818940
> boiling
> skinless
> chicken breast

It's okay OP, I'd already be dead inside anyway. Maybe a little cayenne would do me good.

>>9825169
>tfw black and uncircumsized because my parents felt it was my choice
>every time someone makes an uncircumsized joke or insult I just laugh it off and pretend like I'm circumsized
Why the fuck is this so stigmatized holy shit

>boiled chicken

BITCH I AIN'T MAKING NO SOUP

>chicken breast.

I'M A FUCKING LEG MAN!

>>9827920
Post pics of your weenie cheese.