/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9754554
Why are they stab?

>>9754554
Why are (((they))) injecting it with estrogen??

they are extracting parasites from it

>>9754618
In america we have to inject our meat with antibiotics before shipping otherwise its not safe to eat.

>>9754618
injecting water to increase weight and therefore increase the price.

>>9754618
artificial coloring to make the salmon more "pink"?

>>9754618
because youre a disgusting anime poster

>>9754632
America is filled with bad meat?

Hows my cooking?

>>9754618
The holes are for ventilation.

>>9754632
fucking hell what a retarded country

>>9754554
im pretty sure it has something to do with bones

>>9754740
>tfw cripplewife will never be this desperate to please you
>she will never struggle against her impaired motor functions to cook and keep a home
>you will never hold her and comfort her on days that it gets too hard
>will never whisper to her that you love her and how much she means to you

>>9754554
They are injecting marihuanas into our meat!?

Say hello to my little friend

>>9754831
Why do you think this can never happen?

>>9754988
I don't know anyone with cerebral palsy.

>>9755006
I went shopping in a department store the other day and got served by a girl with cerebral palsy, she seemed really sweat.

>>9754990
>all that fancy flambe trick and ice ball to produce plain muddy cocktail without any garnish

>>9755018
People with brain damage are generally the most kind and pure of heart among us.

>>9755012
Are those monkey brains?

>>9754554
>death by a thousand needles

>>9754618
injecting air holes for faster meat

>>9754713
>>9754764
believe everything you read on chinese cartoon boards?
its meth actually.

>>9754554

>>9754632

What the fuck lol, they don't inject meat in America with antibiotics. The reason there are antibiotics in the food supply is because they are given to animals and finds its way into their meat before slaughter.

>>9754618

It is most likely some kind of preservative or tenderizing/marinating solution. They are preparing to pack it or to process it further.

>>9754986
Where's 2 and 3?

>>9755052
Brain damaged anon here. My spinal cord has damage to it that impairs my motor controls

I used to be a real selfish prick and now I help out a lot of charity events and go toe to toe with corrupt people who work in non-profit organizations. I've made a lot of enemies, but it's worth it to do the right thing

>inb4 pumpkin spice hot dog
>inb4 mac & cheese with a mile of stretchy cheese
>inb4 bitch gets incinerated at hibachi restaurant
>inb4 ‘go’za with a mile of stretchy cheese
>inb4 waitress slams tray of food on businessman’s head
>inb4 shooting a laser at a fucking piece of bacon
>inb4 any of several webms in which Jack is putting shit in a pan full of cold oil
>inb4 mexicans pouring clamato on ramen and doritos in a Styrofoam container
>inb4 hotdog w/mayo balloon explosion
>inb4 LADbible presents a full English fry-up in a partitioned cast iron pan; automatic 12 replies
>inb4 Aunt Myrna's party cheese casserole
>inb4 the culling of the dirt rockets
>inb4 frankenegg.webm
>inb4 the food porn webm with jack edited in at random intervals
>inb4 curry chicken skewers and 8 replies about how gay that guy's face looks when he eats it
>inb4 twisty pasta machine
>inb4 a thousand facebook tasty videos
>inb4 deconstructed/reconstructed big mac
>inb4 somebody's entire jack folder
>inb4 gyroscopic chicken grill
>inb4 the virgin in the egg booth next to Surly Chad
>inb4 pineapple on a fucking pizza
>inb4 the giant platter with 10 different variations of bbq pork
>inb4 that one guy asks if the turkish coffee has pipes underneath the sand
>inb4 the pizza crust is literally a pineapple
>inb4 fried cheesey bread corn cob fuckery
>inb4 taco town
>inb4 somebody's entire culinary squid murder folder
>inb4 anime pancakes
>inb4 cow with a hole on it
>inb4 fish being dumped out the back of a truck
>inb4 fish getting it's eggs squeezed out
>inb4 meat slime / slurry
>inb4 robot pizza
>inb4 robot burger
>inb4 robot crab killer
>inb4 robot crab killer 2
>inb4 black people frap
>inb4 placenta
>inb4 that retard eating a medium pizza kinda fast
>inb4 lobster vending machine
>inb4 chicken plucker
>inb4 hotdog factory
>inb4 iphone useres won't see this webm
>inb4 mayo fruit salad
>inb4 disgusting egg tube machine
>inb4 canned burger
>inb4 palsy girl

>>9755074
i-is this what they call midwest cuisine?

>>9755140
already missed a couple pal

>>9755137
editing issues

>>9755068
Even worse.

>>9754997
witchcraft

>>9755158
wow, potatoes can be useful after all

>>9755140
what about the one with the indian omelet master

>>9755187
Why not sub the breadcrumbs with finely ground OATZ?

>>9755201

>>9754997
>>9755188

The beer is in the glasses all along. It just boils up when it's heated.

>>9755224
you're retarded
there's tubes

>>9754974
Oh god my worst nightmare.
Does that shit actually happen?

>>9755293
It's CGI obviously, but rarely can you find spiders in bananas, especially the Brazilian Wandering spiders.

>>9755293
Yea, there were spiders in bananas, I think it was something to do with Aldi, just Google it

>>9755346
The cocaine really makes it pop

>>9755213
Why though

>>9755274

>>9755568
Why though

>>9755274
But no sand to hide them

>>9755672
How

>>9755709
Ancient Japanese pancakes folded over a thousand times

>>9755680
Those guys at Cold Steel treat pieces of pork with more dignity than this. Fucking hell.

>>9755139
Good job anon

>>9755609
For wads of dosh senpai

>>9755719
Thank you fampie

>>9755750
I need to be nicer. I'm gonna be nicer

>same shit different day
Ugh

>>9754831
>tfw cripplewife would probably be horrible in bed
>not even decent handjobs either

>>9755817
Why do people keep posting this person?

>>9755817
god i wish that were me

>>9755058
Probably goat or lamb

>>9754634
Brined food is often cheaper even when accounting for water weight

>>9755859
you wish you were an attention whore?

>>9755711
Chinaman cheesecake.

>>9755829
I guess the flimsy illusion of eye contact with a woman appeals to a certain demographic here.

>>9755897
I think he's saying he wants his dick ripped in two and then eaten by an attention whore

>>9755879
Did she kill herself when someone showed her a mandoline?

>>9755897
Who wouldn't?

>>9755907
who would?

>>9755741
the max fill line is in plain sight i fucking hate jack's retarded ass so much

>>9754620
You can say Jews here it's okay

>>9755179
/fit/ here, unironically what is wrong with this recipe?

>>9754986
Literal retarded kid has more talent and friends than 90% of posters on /ck/
Fuck that look on his face makes me want to kill myself less though

>>9755693
I'm doing this Friday, wish me luck

>>9755914
Me

>>9755693
>Baking
>Not braising in wine or stock

please

>>9755928
Looks icky and >sprinkling chives at the end like you didn't just make some utilitarian ass shit

>>9754620
>>9755923
>implying Jews would fuck with salmon

So now we got the standard webms that have been reposted a thousand times and the shitty top down reddit shit recipes as the only new addition.

>>9755960
It's obviously not fine dining and the chives are a pointless touch, but as an everyday recipe this is a pretty tasty and macro-conscious way to cook canned fish.

>>9755979
Oh totally, it's a good way to make a generally healthy snack and put effort into it

Sometimes webms get posted unironically

This isn't one

>>9755928
It looks like cat turd and probably tastes similar to cat food
>Nutrition wise it is probably good protien and probably doesn't taste all that bad truthfully
Those chives on it don't help class it up nearly as much as the video creators were really hoping it would though

>>9755952
Mike Huckabee says dry rub is best just remember slow cooking requires patience and it might feel tight before it feels loose

>>9755985
>yea fuck its lets just ruin this perfectly fine burger

>>9754618

Pretty sure its a salty solution for getting it ready to smoke.

>>9754618
They look a lot pinker after they come out so i would guess artificial coloring

>>9755975
Is that tail or feet.

i dont know how to make webms so

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZIv6WtSF9I

>>9754618
why are u posting anime

>>9756076
It's a show about cannibalism, so probably not tail.
Osso buco is usually made with shanks.

>>9756098
Why aren't you?

>>9754740
>>9754831
>>9754988
>>9755006
>>9755018
>>9755052
>>9755139
>>9755719
>>9755750
>>9755767
this is the worst reply chain i've ever seen in my life it made me sad stop posting or ill fork you

>>9755143
It's a delicacy called brainloaf, a favourite of ck

>>9756103
>shrimp on pizza
do nips really do this?

>>9754554
is this how they debone salmon fillets?

>>9756123
Shrimp isn't that uncommon is it? it's a fairly standard topping here in Sweden.

>>9755274
>he didn't get the joke

lurk moar my new friend

>>9756138
of course it's a common topping in sweden. i bet it goes great with ahmed's semen

>>9756138
>Swedish pizza
revolting. I'd never eat pizza anywhere that never had mass immigration from Italy.

>>9756138

Sweden

Yes

>>9756123
Yeah it's weird everywhere. I just took a look at Pizza Hut in China and they've got cuttlefish as a promotional(?) topping

>>9756162
>>9756176
Funny memes, I don't like it (not a big fan of seafood in general I prefer pineapple, chicken and curry spice on my pizza) but my sister used to have I whenever we ordered pizza

>>9755960
>>9755928
>>9755179
there's a kinda old /fit/ food infographic floating around with this recipe in it (or at least a very similar one) and i've made it before. I made mine more like pucks tho so they didn't look like little pieces of actual shit. They're not bad.

>>9756182
>but my sister used to
did she die

>>9756183
this is exactly what your talking about

>>9756184
No she just no longer likes pizza

>>9756161
You're the new friend. The tube comment is part of the joke.

>>9756102
I just finished season 2, its from a leg cut from the thigh

>>9756192
no, your the newest one

the lurk moar meme will always come after the tube one

>>9756189
yes, this recipe specifically: https://i.imgur.com/O9KnIIF.jpg

>>9756123
>shrimp
Those look like fucking peppermints

>>9755140
>carrying on the legacy of the inb4 fag
I like it

>>9756182
>curry
t.ahmed
>>9756190
Heretics

>>9755140
Where's your picture? Are you that desperate to fish for (((you)))s until you forgot to attach it?

>>9754618
I think they are pin-boning the fillets.

Best,
Michael-Allen

>>9755140
>inb4 the pizza crust is literally a pineapple
>inb4 Aunt Myrna's party cheese casserole
>inb4 the culling of the dirt rockets
>inb4 frankenegg.webm
>inb4 robot burger
>inb4 robot crab killer 2
>inb4 black people frap
>inb4 placenta
>inb4 that retard eating a medium pizza kinda fast
>inb4 lobster vending machine
>inb4 chicken plucker
Can someone kindly post one of these? Seems interesting

>>9756254
>t.Ahmed
Nope, I think there's German ancestry in my family from my mothers side, and my dads family is originally Walloon if I don't remember wrong.

As for the curry powder it just balances the sweetness of the pineapple pretty nicely.

>>9754554
I really wish they'd stop this stupid practice of coloring salmon.

>>9756123
Yes. They also have an "Idaho" pizza with mayo, potatoes, and corn on it. They have all sorts of other seafood options, like squid-ink sauce.

>>9756276
>like squid-ink sauce.
RUDE

>>9756123
It should be an invasion from Korea. They do a lot of stupid weird stuff with pizza. Japan does a lot of weird things too, but that's mostly them putting stuff out for a limited time to test it since people actually try weird stuff.

>>9754997
This is a gimmick. You have to buy all their shit to operate this.

>>9755044

The spectacle is what people who order those pay for.

>>9755224
>>9755274
Very nice! Unexpectedly high quality shitposting on /ck/, I didn't expect that! Congrats, boyos!

>>9755985
>metro luvvie burger
>a board
>chips in a bucket
>cheese poured from a mason jar
>editor is obviously a total fuckwit
It's everything I dislike about modern britfag cuisine.

>>9756136
That's crazy what is this?

>>9756093
When I saw the title of the video I expected to hear that late 1990s era commercial techno music and see a cgi illustration of a machine ripping the bones right out of a live lambs body

>>9754618
To make sure they're really dead

>>9754620
Fish, fish the glorious food,
The more you eat the less you dude.

>>9755213
Just eat the chicken and rice and make yourself a shake to wash it down what the fuck

>>9754831
>2017
>not crippling women by night and marrying them by day

>>9756103
Aw man they even got the stuffed crust. The artists knew whats up

>>9755004
Free neck sweat with every sip

>>9754554
This is injecting a mixture of brine and blended offcuts, instead of throwing the offcuts away.

>>9755158
>editing issues
That's rude anon, we call it a chromosomal abnormality.

>>9755711
this webm always makes me wanna jump onto that table and fuck those

>>9756556

>>9755018
>got served by a girl with cerebral palsy, she seemed really sweat.
shoulda told that bitch to shower more often

>>9756569

He clearly meant 'sweet'. Why did you bother to post what you did? Is this considered clever in your backwoods town? OH HO a slight spelling error i can pick up on and use to my advantage. Chaucer. Dickens. Churchill. You. What do they have in common? Nothing because you are in among those names. You do not deserve to be able to even visit this board anymore. Fuck you and your stupid attempt at humor you absolute idiot.

>>9756521
>the less you dude

>>9756609
Gay, ctrl c much

>>9754997
hmmm
bear with no head of foam on it... yummy

>>9756624

t. american who thinks light beer with half of it foam in a red cup at a kegger party full of 21yo man children is how beer is served in real life

>>9755760

>taps the knife

>>9754986
please can someone edit in the twin towers when the thows the thing and the celebrating afterwards

>>9756661
And?

>>9756067
This is the correct answer. It's a salt solution.

>>9756463
its a rustique lasagna

>>9754618
they put salt water in it and basically brine it in the time it takes to get from the meat factory to your plate
everyone who says otherwise is a paranoid retard

>>9754618
why the fuck is every post a differnt explanation, its not some mystery is it

>>9755058
UMA DELICIA

>>9756182
Banana curry best pizza

>>9756743
Hiro-san, is that you?

>>9754740
>when the pancake falls off

>>9756624
>>>/reddit/

>>9756743
RIP crabby, shame you're so tasty

>>9756743
NOOO!!! WHY ARE THEY STAB?!

>>9754997

maybe okay for tailgating stands or something, but how long until the seals wear out and you have a box of garbage?

>>9755140

you missed surly king of the egg fort (he's my fave(that means favorite))

>>9755012
UMA

>>9756654
t. idiot who doesn't know about how oxygen ruins the taste of beer

>>9756840
wow that's some of the faggiest eating i've ever seen

>>9756840
Why does he eat like a fucking woman, holy shit.

>>9755711
>branding of the jigglecakes
how cruel

>>9756840
Does this faggot have autism?

>>9755827
>cripplewife goes in for handjob
>rips your balls off

>>9756819
my thoughts exactly. and fully sanitizing everything would either take intense labor or a whole separate contraption (with proprietary sanitizing solution of course).

>>9756906
You're missing the point entirely. In fact, you almost have it backwards: Sanitizing isn't a concern because the special pitchers and glasses are throwaway. The get used once and then get tossed in the garbage.

The point of these systems is that the labor savings (pouring and washing glasses), inventory control (automated dispensing of exactly the correct amount of beer), and advertising opportunities outweighs the cost of disposable cups.

>>9755714

>>9755680
His knives are as sharp as he is.

>>9757062
How do they stay in business when they don't even cook their meat all of the way through?

>>9755902
good lord

>>9754986
I wish I could be as happy as this guy.

>>9757101
sadly you are only as retarded as him

>>9754740
what would the sex be like?

>>9757143

after you killed her it wouldn't be bad

>>9754990
I was expecting the glass to shatter

>>9756743
I wonder what's compelling anyone eating a crab for their first time, like..'oh these things with snappy claws looks totally delicious so I'm gonna catch and eat those'

>>9754990
what a douchy fellow

>>9754632
Why do people just lie out their ass like this?

>>9756743
>attack its weak point for massive damage

>>9756123
>nips
I live in nyc and always enjoy some good shrimp pizza. Almost every pizzeria has it

>>9755928
For a beginning? No fucking salt.

>>9757620
You don't live in flyover land, not everywhere has a shrimp scampi pie.

>>9756743

>>9757655
This is some alien abduction shit

>>9757655
>CARAPACE FOR THE CARAPACE GOD

>>9755191
the problem is that 95% of the time they'd be fine without supervision but the other 5% would take a shit into the batter or something

>>9755012
UMA

>>9757655
>this won’t hurt a bit

>>9756840
I like gay people but I hate that fag

>>9754980
>no safety/cage protection

>>9755568
>little bit dribbles out
my dick

>>9755609
She doesn't get keto.

>>9755179
fit wouldn't use onion powder, garlic powder, pepper, and whatever was sprinkled on at the end

hell, they might not even use oil

>>9756673
mite be funny

>>9755187
>egg
>one piece

>>9757830
This

>>9757251
Kek.

>>9755879
>dat green tomato

>>9754974

>>9754974
I don't want this kind of trap. Back to /b/ I guess

>>9756067
>inject it with a salty solution before smoking

This checks out.

>>9755346
I unnironically want to taste it

>>9755690
Thanks for he new fetish. gimme sauce

>>9755012
When i hadn't opened the video yet i thought his hand and the meat he had in his hand were a horse penis.

>>9758059
>unironically wanting that stinky cutey and not MoeAzu
You are forgiven this ONCE.

>>9754974
I found a spider like that in a sink one morning while at home (in finland) a year or so ago. Guess that explains where it came from. Put it in a cup and tossed it out.

>>9755074
Somany questions!! Why did she used the hand soap after washing her hands?? What kind of meat loaf is that supposed to be, are those worms sticking out underneath?? What a fucking alien.

>>9754997
>here's your flat beer, sir

>>9755213
These people are beyond me.

>>9754997
Magic beer.

>>9757062
espadas are the best

>>9758081
who MOeAzu?

>>9758126
Another eater, extremely cute. Granted, a bit off-putting when some of her face is messy with food.

>>9756123
Bruh, they are other culture, therefore, they do a lot things in a different way. Can you believe that they not circumcise their new borns?

>>9758135
>face messy with food
dicc hard

>>9755985
>Raw onions on a burger
>Not two layers of meat with inbetween some cheddar cheese
>Lettuce that looks like it came out of a Piñata.
>No sesame seeds on top of the bun
>Bacon, cause let's just try to point the focus to the bacon as well instead of having proper juicy meat.
>Covered in melted cheese???

Whoever made this obviously doesn't know jack shit about burgers. I'm not an expert but i'd rather make my own.

>>9755746
That sausage being dipped in the egg yolk at the end was so fucked. That egg yolk is so hard so what's the fucking point of dipping the sausage in it??

>>9758166
Fucking this, when poured the cheese I cringed hard

>>9754618
Farm raised salmon isn't as pink as wild caught so they inject it with dye to make it look right. There's probably other stuff in there to like some anons said but the dye is the main point of this

>>9755074
You have no idea how much I want to fuck Sandra Lee. I don't even know why, it's a compulsion. Her food is so ass and she is such a basic bitch from small town Wisconsin but she's got these fat titties and exudes a vibe I used to get from all my friends' moms in high school

>>9756654
>>9756787
yall niggas never heard of a sprinkler

>>9755680
never ceases to amaze

>>9755714
whats the fucking point?

>>9758126
>>9758135
>extremely cute
She looks like a toad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDKDzJYZHzs

>>9758166
>getting triggered by "raw onions"
Soyboy detected

>>9755179
why so much oil?

>>9755829
she's pretty

if she had bigger tits she'd be my ideal woman

>>9754986
I was gonna say i would never eat at this place because i saw it and was afraid he would get into a potato rage, but then i saw he placed it perfectly on the plate.

>>9756941
you just know this guy thinks this footage is cool as hell

>>9758188
Unfortunately cancer took her diddies

>>9757101

You will never be happy. Period.

>>9758243
It was perfect when it was born, then got deformed and then given a painfull death.

>>9758243
Isn't she dating like the governor of NY too?

>>9758166
>being triggered by raw onions
Do not breed. Do not plague mankind with your watery seed.

>>9756466
>know how

>>9754974
oh no so scary a cgi spider. honestly kys faggots

>>9756680
But not for preparing to smoke it, it's just to add weight(and maybe dye for color) and sell to you for more money.

>>9756850
I've never seen women do that to pizza though, that's way too gay

>>9757165
>i'm hungry
>there's a bunch of these things running around
>imma try and eat it
not exactly rocket science

>>9755140
Forgot the macaroni avocado

>>9757760
Are you fucking stupid? The saw goes through it's brain killing it instantly. Not only that, but crabs don't have nerves, feelings, nor do they have many thoughts so even if the saw managed to somehow not kill it instantly, it surely didn't suffer over the 5 or so seconds it took to die.

>>9756941
>misses most of the fuckin swings

What a fucking loser

>>9758243
>wearing thick cloth gloves while molding it

is this why sometimes there is just fucking lint and dirt and debris on candy?

>>9756562
Any recipe for this? I love fat pancakes

>>9757165
I am more perplexed by the first people who ate oysters.
"Hey I found this rocky thing in the ocean, but when I cracked it open there was a booger inside it, so naturally I ate it. you should try it."

>>9758513
UNF

>>9758547
Oysters used to be poor people food

>>9758556
T H I C C

>>9755693
should not have toasted that bread.

>>9755680
What the fuck, my chink-made brush machete is no-fucking-joke sharper than that.

>>9756193
calf, (i guess technically shank) dufus. thigh has one bone shin has two. look closer.

>>9756276
they colour salmon by feeding it a different substance not long before processing them. not with injections.

>>9756261
>Thanks mike

>>9757655
this shit look like quake but for crabs

>>9756001
babbys first greentext

>>9755213
> One scoop
DYEL?

>>9755699

She's so attractive and the entire video gets me off but imagine how expensive dinner dates would be after every buffet bans you.

Also the plumbing since I assume she has some crazy digestive problem. She would probably murder an entire septic tank.

>>9758815
Pretty sure she just throws up after doing those vids or she'd be fat as shit

>>9755004
>foamless beer

Fuck that.

>>9758137
Nice gomco clamp! Good looking foreskin!

>>9758815
She's almost certainly bulimic. She'd need like a dozen tapeworms otherwise.

>>9755741
Spent that whole thing seething about the fill level, totally unprepared for the punchline.

>>9757699
We had a potato as dishwasher for 6months and he didn't do too bad on it.

>>9758547
i think Bourdain said whoever was the first man to eat oysters was a brave man. I agree cause it looks so disgusting but taste so great.

>>9757699
Seems like they'd fit right in at your average Scottish chip shop, then.

>>9754986
>he actually lands it

>>9758433
I'd assault a fish first or a coconut rather than chasing around something that looks like a spider.

>>9758084
There are spiders in finland?

>>9754634

>>9756743

I hope the crab is okay.

>>9756743
now post the squid one

>>9758579
I agree, nothing worse than turning fresh bread into a crunchy mess

>>9756743
>0:23 when it's been splitted and still moving it's mouth part
>>9756767
This is what happens when he get tired of the trolls

>>9757148
Why would you kill a cutie

>>9758000
its a cucumber

>>9755693
Fuckkkkk. Lads.

>>9757655
God, I wish that were me... Desu...

>>9755711
THICC

>>9755445
It's time Pete

>>9756840
white people are awful

>>9755746
I fucking hate Ladbible

>>9756076
it is a leg. eddie izzard's leg.

>>9758202
did you watch the whole thing? it's cut super fine so it will evenly dissolve in the water, for whatever reason.

>>9755915
Just watching him pisses me off. As soon as I see his fat fuck sausage hand with the gaudy ring I click off the webm

>>9759440
>tfw you order black coffee

>>9754831
>>>/vg/196862090

>>9755672
Weebshit or not, if that's real, then that is incredibly impressive.

>>9755179
They're just making really, really shitty meatballs.
>Use fucking beef instead of tuna (or lamb, or literally anything else)
>Real garlic and real onion, not powdered shit
Improve the recipe 1000x right there.

>>9755767
you should try getting brain damage

>>9759544
why not just mush it then

>>9756103
Peppermints on pizza? Who the hell does this

>>9758485
I would love to see you handle the 200+ degree semi molten sugar without those gloves.

>>9756189
how am i supposed to eat 1g protein per lb of weight
i barely can manage to eat 2 meals a day

>>9756743
I hope their nicer to us when they inevitably evolve to be larger than us.

>>9760674
*they're
I'll kill myself now,

>>9756706
Only right answer, over here they call it "natural marinade", it's basicly just salt water.
They also inject it into other meat, especially chicken.

>>9757655
>filename
Fuckin lost

>>9755741

>>9758193
Cask beer is pretty gross desu

>>9754632
Pretty sure it's just brine, dude.