/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Post pizza webms please

>>9752118
no

>>9752073
Am I the only one who found Teletubbies absolutely terrifying as a kid and couldn't watch them without crying and having nightmares later?
They were three meters tall too, what the fuck?

>>9752118
closest thing I have, bro

>>9752332
looks burnt

>>9752332
dad tried to bake a pizza on a clay oven once and ended up completely burning it in under 20 seconds, he threw it on the grass and it burned the grass too

let's do this

inb4 foreigner gets angry at American hibachis.

>>9752118

>>9752631
So Japanese people can't get mad for calling teppanyaki "hibachi"?

>>9752631
>flyovers think this is good

don't remember what this was

>>9752612
I need to know what the fuck is happening here

>>9752618
This girl turns me on so fucking much. Imagine her delicate feet.

>>9752674
What are they doing?

>>9752667
Looks more like fish. For some reason, Chinese people think if you eat phallic looking stuff, then it's good for your penis.

>>9752674
fuck man that's disturbing as fug
why is caviar expensive in the first place, it only tastes like a spoonful of sea salt.

>>9752681
Fish roe cultivation, probably.

>>9752073
What does that tinfoil tube thing do? That contraption just before the omelet faucet?

>>9752648
really good webm

>>9752680
Her feet might turn me on. The black hole in her stomach though, not nearly as much. Seriously that's frightening.

>>9752674
>using bare hands to stir fish eggs and cum.

>>9752690
it's about the subjective aspect of taste and being nostalgic about food maybe

>>9752707
>not using your tongue

>>9752347
some one has never had good pizza

>>9752674
well shit, now I've got a boner.

>>9752728
is that gluten free cheese ?

>>9752631
>hibachis
I think you meant yakisobis.

>>9752631
>>9752646
>>9752765
I think you're all making up words.

>>9752699
I assume either it's for wiping or oiling the pans.

>inb4 brainloaf
>inb4 pumpkin spice hot dog
>inb4 mac & cheese with a mile of stretchy cheese
>inb4 banana full of spiders
>inb4 bitch gets incinerated at hibachi restaurant
>inb4 meat_sandwich.webm
>inb4 that claymation shit where a baseball turns into dice when he chops it
>inb4 ‘go’za with a mile of stretchy cheese
>inb4 waitress slams tray of food on businessman’s head
>inb4 shooting a laser at a fucking piece of bacon
>inb4 any of several webms in which Jack is putting shit in a pan full of cold oil
>inb4 mexicans pouring clamato on ramen and doritos in a Styrofoam container
>inb4 hotdog w/mayo balloon explosion
>inb4 LADbible presents a full English fry-up in a partitioned cast iron pan; automatic 12 replies
>inb4 Aunt Myrna's party cheese casserole
>inb4 the culling of the dirt rockets
>inb4 frankenegg.webm
>inb4 the food porn webm with jack edited in at random intervals
>inb4 curry chicken skewers and 8 replies about how gay that guy's face looks when he eats it
>inb4 twisty pasta machine
>inb4 a thousand facebook tasty videos
>inb4 deconstructed/reconstructed big mac
>inb4 somebody's entire jack folder
>inb4 gyroscopic chicken grill
>inb4 the virgin in the egg booth next to Surly Chad
>inb4 pineapple on a fucking pizza
>inb4 the giant platter with 10 different variations of bbq pork
>inb4 that one guy asks if the turkish coffee has pipes underneath the sand
>inb4 the pizza crust is literally a pineapple
>inb4 fried cheesey bread corn cob fuckery
>inb4 taco town
>inb4 somebody's entire culinary squid murder folder
>inb4 anime pancakes

>>9752773
half of this thread is oc faggot

>>9752728
Is this a shoop?

>>9752332
stone oven should be a requirement for a pizzaria

>>9752773
You're not supposed to bet on all the numbers.

>>9752542
>>9752593

I always find these fascinating.

>>9752777
Nope. Fistulated cow, google it

>>9752777
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannulated_cow

>>9752780
Nah, let the good ones do it right and have a bunch of cheap ones for the masses who don't care.

>>9752631
>red and green lighting
>Christmas eve in flyoverville

>>9752729
this

>>9752790
>>9752795

>>9752801
The cows don't seem to care. They probably think they're matrix.

>>9752612
I don't know what happened but I'm turned on

>>9752763
Hello my honey! Hello my darlin'! Hello my ragtime gal!

>>9752773
you forgot salt sprinkle

>>9752813
He probably likes salt sprinkle.

>>9752728
>>9752790
>>9752795
Dairy farming, everybody. Keep supporting the industry like good little goyem.

>>9752819
So what if the cow has an USB interface? It doesn't affect my yogurt.

>>9752642
it's a shame the raw materials are so bad cause the machine is good.

>>9752788

>>9752073
>thread is worthless on an iPhone >.<

>>9752827
Cake yeast?

>>9752829
I'd call it a win, but people with iPhones don't come here.

>>9752829
get VLC

>>9752827
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWU2OFOOuW4

>>9752846
then why do pre-formed patties cost such a premium, huh?

>>9752850
To lazy to form them yourself then you pay more for it?

>>9752850
they know americans will glady pay extra to be lazy, and also many are too retarded to know how to even make burgers without them being preformed

>>9752850
It's an extra step

>>9752865
I just put a meat wad in a plastic produce bag and smash it with a cutting board.

Wa la

>>9752906
did she ever only release those two videos?

>>9752954
what happens if I stick my dick in there

>>9752667
Anchovis in beer, drank by a 40 something tryhard.

>>9752954
>Juice
>The final solution

>>9752957
Lots of pulp.

>>9752631
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XR3Y_9Y74L0

(It's better with sound)

>>9752612
no.

>>9752973

>>9752728
so that's how you put the loot in cows in mmo

>>9752765
>>9752646
>>9752798
Two choices. You can deal with it or deal with it.

>>9752728
>>9752795
That is unironically some dystopian grimdark sci fi shit.

>>9752674
BAD TOUCH

>>9753024
Fly rolls.

Kill me now.

>>9753024

>>9753029
to be fair this thing is a fucking marvel of modern food preservation

>>9753029
No shot of the unwrapped burger?

>>9753047
I'm having trouble breathing.This is priceless.

>>9753051
my bad, cut it wrong

>>9752701
She pukes after she eats

>>9752542
Why is this allowed?

>>9752618
What's her jewtube channel called?

>>9752901
Thanks, doc.

>>9753099
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFTVNLC7ysej-sD5lkLqNGA

>>9752612
anyone from the Dallas area been to Redneck Heaven? they will give you a shot with a live minnow in it like this. ive never seen anyone do it sober.

>>9753105
It's an inferior dose. A placebo.

>>9752943
>no gloves

>>9752819
>>9753011
you faggots are faggots.
>oh woooow d000d thats some dark shit woooah
thats fucking nothing. They are just showing how the cow digests food in multiple stomachs. Also, its a fucking cow. big deal, they do far stranger things to actual people. Ive seen zippers on patients they had to open up multiple times, it was easier than cutting them open every time. or hell, just watch any surgery where the doctors have to take out someones intestines then put them back in as a huge jumbled mess and sew them back up.

>>9753124
Is that red stuff in the beginning annatto?

>>9753011
>>9752819
The hole was added in for educational purposes, you hipster faggots.

>>9753132
Well, you're not wrong.
I don't I ever saw one with a zipper but I have seen a few cardiac ICU patients who were "left open".

Gastric surgery looks pretty mild compared to something like a hip or knee replacement, though. That's honestly more like carpentry than surgery some of the time.

Did I imagine this or do they put magnets inside the cows to catch all the scrap they eat?

>>9753124
>hairy guy handle the food with bare hands and arms
but I'm glad he wears an hair net!

>>9752901

This animation reminds me of dahiir insaat

>>9752936
Pretty sure there was one for spaghetti or something too

>>9752674
Is caviar usually taken from live fish? I always assumed they just took it out when preparing the rest of the fish.

>>9752612
I find it funny that the.message in Chinese at the very start of the clip says "don't be a hater this video is fire"

>>9753167
That cute girl is probably in her 60s now

The food looks good, though. No wonder they won the Franchise Wars.

>>9753167
>>9753168
>>9753195
>>9753206
These are reminding me of that Pizza Hut video with the sexual tension.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HpCJov3Uj0

>>9752667
What's happening here is the Chad Asian

>>9752982
kek

>>9753206
>tfw the Colonel hated what KFC had turned into near the end of his life
>actually got sued because he shat on them in an interview and said he wouldn't feed the food to his dogs

>>9752690
>>9753165
It's not caviar, it's salmon roe. Caviar cones from sturgeon.

>>9753050
The FDA actually bans these in the states. I know, I've spent months trying to get one but no avail.

What was the reason for the ban, anyone know? Are the ingredients THAT horrifying?

>>9752665
The culinary equovalent of blueballing roght before cumming

>>9753291

>>9752665
I like how I haven't seen the original one without the Ja/ck/ clips in months, it's like we've shifted into another dimension where Jack's a part of the original video

>>9753275
threatens the american burger market

>>9752930
The fuck even is that?

>>9753291

>>9753322
>You will never slice off somebody's dick and make them watch as a cockmeat smoothie slides into a bowl.

>>9752118

>>9753333
>have nice bowl of fruit
>add a fuck ton of mayo into it
>this is now considered a salad

Also nice digits

>>9753274
my mom would do this with english muffins when i was a kid. i thought it was the greatest meal in the world

>>9753291
this looks almost as vile as jack's ziploc omelet

>>9753347
Was the record to eat it with a knife and fork or is he just doing that to be as inconvenient as possible?

>>9753337
what a fucking moron can't even open a beer

>>9753337
I think he has some kind of motor neuron disease going. It would all make sense. He's trying to prepare food with useless seal flippers.

>>9753361
I'm surprised he even knew how to use the opener. Too bad about the motor skills

>>9752795
>>9752795
you know....may I actually should stop eating meat..

at least just slow down.

>>9752612
Have fun shitting out a dozen razor sharp fish skeletons, I guess.

>>9753358
whoops - wrong input

>>9753372
Those have little to do with meat production, they're mostly there for research purposes.

>>9753358
Best taco ever

>>9753356
Guinness has specific rules for each record. For pizza knife and fork was required.

>>9753371
A pig died for this

>>9753373
They''ll soften just fine in his stomach.

>>9753167
>chad gets great taco bell meal
>qt oozes over him

>>9753343
Oeh, so edgy. Well done.

>>9753395
I don't see coffee.

>>9753408
>wh*te ""people""

>>9753077
Why would it not be

>>9753408
Goddamn hippies

>>9753408

>>9752674
>occupation: wanking fish

>>9752819
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannulated_cow
the hole is actually for checking the health of the cow's digestive system

>>9753143
>didn't show the cross section

>>9753413
Placenta eating goes back to the Egyptians, as well as the Chinese.

>>9753457
Well, if the Chinese eat it it must be good

>>9753457
Yea, but we have science now

>>9752846
Webm should play american national anthem

>>9753046
theyre bees blind fag

>>9753274

I love how it cuts out right when he takes a bite. And also, why no tomato paste or tomato sauce on the bread?

>>9753472
Fuck me

>>9753491
>crab

Successful webm thread
Lots of OC
Nice

>>9753505
>>9753506
CRABMIND. I'm not sure which is the worse way to go.

>>9753505
looks like a very morbid amusment park

>>9753472
Who separates eggs like that?

>>9753513
Didn't Ramsay put one of those in one of the KN restaurants?

>>9753527
The rippy grippy teary smashy one

>>9753513
A lobster vending machine?

>>9753534
In one episode he decried the lobster machine as inhumane, in another he installed it and said it was good fun. He's a hack.

>>9753224
Holy shit pizza hut used to be so much better.

>>9753000
>using a tiny knife to debone
I mean it works but it's so inefficient...

>>9753343
They would probably be too busy hemorrhaging while you make a fool out of yourself.

>>9752618
Who eats fried chicken on Christmas?

>>9753063
rename this one to "$15 an hour"

>>9753323
its cornstarch mixed with water. Jack inadevertnely created non-newtonian fluid which causes the intense friction with the chicken.

>>9753534
>>9753537

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXZiW8vsjPM

>>9753540
Well, he was super upset about one of the lobsters in a tank being dead once because now the other lobsters would have eaten of it and surely they were all deadly poison now.
I don't know what Ramsay thinks lobsters normally eat.
Might even have been the same episode. I don't remember.

>>9752665
this was fun the first 25 times i saw it

>>9752654
>coastiecucks think this is bad

>>9753063
>not melting the cheese onto the patty on the grill

Blasphemy

>>9753291

That is a weird fleshlight.

>>9753472

>>9752347
Agreed. I'd have taken it out about 20 seconds earlier.

>>9753143
Should just use a hack saw

>>9753378

Did that person just put a fork in their microwave? How did that person not just destroy everything?

Also that is just horrifying. Why have you done this to us?

>>9752674
Why do that wil live fish though ? Sounds like counter-productive.
>inb4 that way its reall fres-
yeah, no, shut up. It ain't gonna rot because you took 2 min minutes to kill and gut the fish before removing eggs.

>>9753472
>nigela lawson makes breakie.webm

>>9753559
KFC for Christmas is huge in Japan, you have to order like a year in advance.

>>9753408

mmmmmmmmnope

>>9753590
I'm not telling you to try it but microwave ovens aren't quite as explosive as you think. A fork or spoon isn't very high risk.
Crumbled aluminium foil is still a bad idea, though.

>>9753408
>>9753402
I'm pretty sure we have a word in the Bible about what happens to the people who do stuff like that

>>9752773
What about the gay guy who puts on plastic gloves and dabs his pizza, before eating it with a fork and knife.

>>9753505
this kills the crab

>>9753562
>food so 'fresh' it can form an opinion about you while you're eating it

yeah nah I'll pass.

>>9752631
The Mexicans at Benihana can do more impressive hibachi tricks.

>>9753534
/jp/

>>9753540
L.A Beast seems like a genuinely nice dude, although he looks like a total fucking douche

>>9753425
because its haram

>>9753337
Its a twist off cap. How the hell.

>>9753654
now which one is it?

>>9753506
>>9753505
Mr Crabbo no ! D:

>>9752612
I think those are little eels

>>9753585
that's cool

>>9753644
>not sure if handicapped or just clowning for the customers

>>9752681
when the bass drop

>>9753673
Aim a leetle eel just from watching it! Dios mio!

>>9753291

>unseasoned and bonedry egg goop

no ty

>>9753644
Hello cocaine my old friend

>>9752728
I have actually put my hands inside a cow like that, into the hole. I had gloves but I almost puked.

For all the peta-fags, these cows are used for scientific purposes. They are used to study the cows digestion and figure out what is best for cows. These cows feel no pain from it, and usually live a much longer and much better life than most cows. The cow I saw was 17 years old, which is pretty old for a cow.

>>9753291
Why did this ever get funded?

>>9753582
>coasties
>cucks

meanwhile flyovers are literally cucked out of having beaches.

>>9752680

>>9752728
It's for checking the rumen and the bacteria that the cow uses to digest fibrous materials. It's better than cutting it open every week.

>>9752363
Thank you for that.

>>9753644
That file name.

>>9752973
Well fucking done her for cooking more than most of the people browsing this board.

>>9752829

>>9753799
Fucking 10/10

>>9753799
Fucking LOL

>>9753561
This board is for food and cooking, not boot and licking.

>>9753799
Holy shit - there's no way that's real

>>9753799
that's so fucking illegal

>>9752332
At first I thought something was off. But the final result looks tasty as fuck.

>>9753816
...is it wrong that I'm thinking this MIGHT not be horrible?

>>9753831
It's probably fine but it loses points for
>Avocado meme
>Avocado is a healthy replacement for cheese, then lets add cheese and top with cheese

>>9752957
Paula comes out to get you
>and your haggis

>>9753546
Yes it did. In the 90's, it was amazing. You would go sit down, and get an actually decent, hot as shit pizza. It's just shitty, greasy pickup/delivery now.

>>9752680
Imagine her dropping a huge wet turd.

How can gweilos even compete?

>>9753799
I've unironically fapped to this.

>>9753849
God bless creating a creature that is more than half ass-cheeks. She has more butt than stacked women have chest.

>>9753863
Magic coffee.

>>9753863
Are there tubes under the sand?

>>9753863

>>9753799
thank you,my love

>>9753856
Seeing this will never not depress me. Human beings are such complex constructs yet that is what we were designed for.

>>9753167
>mfw a new Taco Bell just opened here in Binland
>too scared to actually go and try it

>>9753799
glorious

>>9753799
Excellent clip but remember that they know better than to come into webm threads to begin with. This is more something to go into regular threads.

>>9753799
what does this one say? can't see it on my phone

>>9753275
Undermines the value of domestically minted burger

>>9753816
Fuck.
>avocado is a healthier-substitute for cheese
>goat cheese is a lower calorie cheese

Just don't fucking mention all the stuff it isn't. Pretend it's its own thing instead of a fucking abomination for faggots who completely miss the point of good food.

>>9753596
i have no fucking clue what you just said in that first line

>>9753767
>out of the way gents, i think you all know i deserve her the most

>>9752959
what the fuck is this

>>9753549
it's the most efficient method, what are you talking about? you only need to make tiny cuts

>>9752612
that was pretty cool actually. disgusting, but cool

>>9753799
omg
fucking kek

>>9753906
Not sure, phone bro. Everyone seems pretty thrilled by it, but I can't get it to play. It sucks when everyone is having fun without us.

>>9752648
OP's dildo factory

>>9753549
wrong

>>9753347
i wish he showed his moobs in the ending

>>9753644
that nose pick. jesus fuck enjoy your golden staph infection

>>9753291
I know what I'm getting for xmas

>>9753472
I've never seen someone separate a yolk with their hand like that

>>9753799
topkek

>>9752973
>>9752989
aw, she's cute
wonder what it's like to have sex with her

>>9752973
>>9752989
Triceps malfunctioning ?

>>9753882
Go for it, lad. All the memes aside, it's decent fast food.

>>9753254
salmon egg is still like 50 bucks a pound

>>9753746
>implying most costies use their beaches

>>9752773
dumbshit managed to not list the grilled cheese from chef

>>9753852
a man of fine taste I see

>>9753352
My mom made pizza buns. They're great. I still make them for myself on fat days.

>>9753816

>putting minced garlic in a blender

why

>>9753347
>all that time wasted fucking around with the knife and fork

>>9752811
Underrated

>>9753872
No the sand is just really hot and really good quality fresh coffee will "bloom" like that when heated

Notice how the vessels are also pre-heated

>>9753799
i saw this and im on an iphone 6.....

>>9752662

>>9753000
>>9753549
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvR-eZ7S_uE
Used to do the first shoulder cuts like this. Took me a while to find this method on video. All other deboning examples look overly complicated and wasteful.
It doesn't take much to separate meat from bone when you're just cutting tendons. Most I used on my knife was about a 1/2" of the tip. Trick is to keep that fucker sharp. 38 birds/minute will dull out a knife.

>>9753063
we got to play with those robot arms in shop class 15 years ago in high school and could program them to do whatever we wanted. really thought they would be doing more by now

>>9753596
why do it with a dead fish? what the fuck are you so mad about? you realise they're not planning to eat those eggs right?

>>9753534
>>9754050
It's a bit faster if your doing a bunch of them. That recipe calls for five yolks and three whole eggs.

>>9753921
Wymyn chefs

>>9752612
asian version of this guy

>>9753799
Anyone with one that doesn't have VLC wouldn't be in this thread in the first place.

>>9754239
I looked some info about it and yeah they just put them back in the water (the fish not the eggs) once they're done with it

>>9753849
Her ass makes her head look so small.

>>9753395
of course a soyboy would eat that

>>9753291
Free market at work

>>9753856
no wonder they kill themselves all the time

>>9753882
2 bean burritos no onions with diablo sauce is my go to

getting sick from eating there is a just a meme, its the best cheap food there is

>>9753006
underrated

>>9752961
>tryhard
Yeah you're just a pussy not daring to try it out

bump for visibility

>>9752612
this is one hard, dumb mother fucker

>>9752773
You forgot
>Surlykingoftheeggfort.webm

>>9754357
>no onions
Now that the children have ordered, what will the adults be having?

>>9752612

>>9753063
When it lifted the final bun, and started moving around, I first thought its creators had added a little victory dance to taunt fast food joint workers.

>>9754213
Huh. I'll be getting a nice flexible short knife and trying it that way from now on. I was taught by old-schoolers and they taught to always use a 6" boning knife.

>>9753084
>Adding something as subtly flavoured as caviar to a fucking burger
>Gold flakes

The only thing missing for those with more money than common sense is a spoonful of foie gras.

>>9752728
My sister did this at Guelph university for some vet class. She's a OR nurse at Hamilton general now, she's seen some real life rekt threads kind of stuff there.

>>9753402
What is that what is happening is he cooking a calf placenta

>>9753799
That was great.

>>9754253
Asian Yondu?

>>9753505
>Mr. Carapace's Wild Ride

>>9754802

>>9752773
>inb4 whiny pasta faggot

>NEW THREAD
NEW THREAD
>NEW TREAD
NEW THREAD

>>9754802
>>9754802
>>9754802
>>9754802

>>9752959
Lmao

>>9753534
I do at work and home some times its just faster that way.

>>9753799
This video doesnt work im on mobile.

>>9754929

>Oh yeah, I love cooking
>But I hate getting my hands dirty
>But this will turn out AMAZING
>But I really dont like getting my hands dirty
>Ketchup
>I'm such a creative home chef
>Turd ball
>Bon appetite! XD

>>9753168
I forgot that subway used to slice the bread off center so you got a thinner slice on top and a heavier base. I miss that.

>>9752819
>Dairy farming
>https://www.snopes.com/fistulated-cow-video/

>>9752662