/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9746026
Gonna need some serious proof, anon.

>>9746026
Don't buy food.
Cheapest way to diet.

>$20 a week
Good fucking luck. This is where those mounds of calories you've stored come into play.

>>9746042
This

>>9746026
u da dig guv

lol

>>9746036
Why would Anon lie about being a 310 lb fatass baby squasher on /ck/? He's the target demographic.

>>9746026
>leaving your poor sister to take care of a disabled kid for life
>not just ending the job so she tries again with a new kid

No wonder you got kicked, you ruined her life now.

Some foods I ate when I was doing a diet while also being broke. Minimally, you need protein and some potassium. Count calories and try to keep it in the 500-1200 calories per day range.

Banana

Tuna
Brown rice and Lentils
Potatoes.
Eggs

This is by no means an authoritative selection; seek out other cheap foods advice. Also for a time I used protein powder.

Won't be pleasant, and it will take longer than you care for it to. If you can get over the initial hard hump your appetite may ease as your stomach shrinks and you get used to not eating as much per day.

You literally can't die of starvation on a first world country. You can buy 1kg of white rice for 0,50€

>>9746026
It probably crawled under there for warmth

>>9746513
OP uses "lbs" to weigh himself, so he's not from a first world country.

>>9746499

Some more items I forgot:

One measured cup of prepared frozen orange juice concentrate as a potassium source. One can of frozen orange juice concentrate came to 4 cups prepared.

Oatmeal. Not the individual flavoured packets, but plain large flake oats from a relatively large package.

>>9746026
oats, popcorn, other cheap grains, peanut butter, legumes, whatever you find on the clearance rack at the Asian supermarket

You won't eat great on so little if you're still learning to eat actual food.

>>9746513
well beri beri then

jk but OP go to a food pantry ya dingus

I learned in my teens to not have fragile valuable stuff around other people. Anything that isn't rugged/expendable stays home and I don't get stressed. Your kid wants to beat on my ThinkPad? Go right ahead :-)

>>9746513
HIGH GLYCEMIC AND TOO MUCH ARSENIC

>>9746551
Bad memed. White Rice is the White Mans Carb Source.
>no cereal
>no gluten
>no antinutrients
>no fructose

>muh arsenic
don't buy pajeet rice that comes from pajeetland

>muh high glycemic index
Literally irrelevant when eaten along fat and protein containing foods

>>9746415
this is the truth, it's one thing to accidentally kill a baby, it's another to accidentally shittify his entire future.

>>9746567
>he fell for the "antinutrient" meme

Phytic acid prevents butt cancer.

I've never understood how people can sit down blind.

Potatoes, oats, whole grain flour, beans, and eggs/cheapest dairy you can find.

Buy lentils, wheat flour, cabbage, onions, celery, and carrots. Make some soup and flatbread. That's got basically all you need. You could substitute/supplement cabbage with kale or chard, if you wanted to. If you still got some money left, spend it on salt, and dried herbs like thyme, rosemary, oregano, and bay leaves. Maybe even some tomatoes as well for a touch of savouriness.
Fuck rice. That shit's for Asian people. BTW, fuck meat as well. It's an unnecessary luxury.

Honestly anon - I would just kill myself. You don't want to go through life remembered as the fatass that squashed their sister's baby.

>>9746026
soup kitchen every day pocket the 20 for drugs or beer your choice

>>9746026
At $20/week, I'd start looking into things like gruel. I'd make it really thin by adding lots of water so that I would finish it slowly and it would keep me full. Alternatively, "everything" soups or as they call it on Game of Thrones, "bowl of brown". Stop thinking in terms of recipes and just focus on what you can put in a pot and boil -- preferably one of each macronutrient.

>year 2037
>be stunted kissless manlet
>no friends
>live with depressed mother
>she and I have always lived together but barely speak
>voice is too weak and fucked, difficulty breathing
>never played sports, legs too misshapen
>kids at school used to call me "crazy legs"
>cannot go anywhere without people staring at my legs

>>9746026
dried beans, rice, and whatever fresh vegetables are on special

did you squash a baby tho ferreal

>>9746515
watch it

>>9746026
ask them if you can eat the baby now that it's all fucked up anyway

>>9746026
You deserve to live off of $20 a week you fat piece of shit.

You'll survive off of vitamin supplements and water you fat fuck, with the occasional chicken broth.That's less than $20/wk and you'll be able to live off of your disgusting body for a couple of months you pathetic piece of shit.

Go to /fit/ and visit one of the fasting threads. Maybe you'll make yourself out to be something other than a fat piece of shit after this.

>>9746026
Everyone knows the total number of herbs plus spices is 11. But how many are herbs, and how many are spices?

lmao at all the dumb cucks who fell for this pasta!

that woulda killed the baby. obvious pasta

>>9746695
>being this cool

Fugg

>>9746707
Stop being a dipshit and kill yourself

>>9746717
Fuck you eggboy

>>9746695
I feel so dumb. I can't believe I wasted 30 seconds of my life. I truly believed OP. How will I ever trust again

>>9746723
You're a fucking moron if you thought the OP actually happened

>>9746729
ha ha! I didn't really believe it! But you believed that I did!

>>9746116
he's also the largest demographic.

>>9746026
With maximum food limit worth 20 bucks a week you will lose weight regardless of what you eat anon.

But if you want to eat 3 square meals a day then rice, beans, oats, tinned tomatos onions and potatos are your friends.

>>9746623

Kek'd. Thanks for that.

>>9746026
>I gotta survive on $20 dollar a week for food.
$80/month is luxury. You can easily gain weight with that budget. Just start running or swimming, make sure that your energy in < energy out.

>>9746116
this aint the first time ive heard of an anon sitting on a baby here

>>9746582
fat fucks sit first and complain later
sit on someones stuff? fuck you i have a thyroid problem i need to sit or else i might die fucking skinny piece of shit its genetic fucking thin privilege asshole

>>9746026
Anon, how can you think about stuffing your face at a time like this? :^)

Was the baby female? In that case, good job. Oatmeal and water with anything you want to add is possibly your best bet. Also rice and beans maybe. Check out what costs less per protein calorie. Only carbs will let you go mental.

>>9746707
>hey eggboy

kek

>>9746026
>sister visiting
>they kicked me out
Your sister kicked you out of your own house?
Something doesn't add up.

>>9746582
This. One of my fears is sitting either on something fragile or on a stain/liquid

>>9746607

>>9746026
man up
go back there
kill the baby
kill yourself
die with a shard of dignity

Anyone else going to point out the fact that he has no remorse whatsoever for crushing a child's windpipe and breaking both her legs? He's literally more concerned about shoving food in his fat fucking face then he is the fact that he crippled his niece/nephew

>>9746026
>
assuming you can get ramen packs for 20c a pack you can eat 22 a day. youre ggood.

So why are you worried about what you're gonna eat when jail feeds you 3 times a day for free? So you seriously think DCF isn't getting involved? Even if your sister doesn't file a lawsuit, she'll have to tell them what happened or she will be in danger of jail time.

>>9748020
And it won't be the last time, bub.

>>9746116
It's a /r9k/ meme if I'm not mistaken.

>>9746499
This. Make sure you get your protein and fat.

I survived for weeks on 2 scoops of protein powder, peanut butter, and salt water

>sister visiting me with newborn baby who kicked you out of your house...

>>9748651
aren't you afraid of sitting on something sharp, like a knife? it will rip your anus open

>>9748689
>DCF
What has you convinced OP lives in Florida, exactly?
In any case, the sister undoubtedly had to take the baby to a doctor. If someone has to be notified, the doctor most likely took care of it.

>>9747774
Absolute heartiest of keks

>>9748704
why would you even go there in the first place?

>>9747774

>>9748008
>luxury
This is what poorfags actually believe. I can barely fathom $100ish a week. I always tend to go over $175 while trying my hardest to go for the cheapest choices.

>>9748912
DCF isn't just Florida, you retard. It is the Department for Children and Families. They tend to take children away from irresponsible parents, assist with problem children, and a myriad of other functions including assisted living and shit.

>>9749372
wasting money =\= being rich

>>9749384
It isn't a waste of money though. I am buying for 2 meals a day for 7-9 days. Sometimes I stretch it to around 12 days, but that is usually on weeks where I receive things from other people.

I go for store brand, or the cheapest sale/price I can find. I avoid anything over $5 per package. I sometimes only get dinner stuff. Meat and one or two sides, usually one.

>>9749367
ewww hairy arms

>>9748912
>>9749377
Social workers are stationed at every hospital to send word up the chain if abuse or neglect is expected. OP needs to accept his fate and let prison happen.

>>9746026
>>sister visiting
>They kicked me out
Well which is it?

>>9748704

>>9749351
>tfw no 2d gf

>>9746522
>first world country
You keep using that phrase, but it doesn't mean what you think it means.

>>9746513
>Muh NATO nurishment
I'm sure ammo regulations will feed the world.

>>9746671
10 are herbs, the only spice that isn't a myth is chives.

>>9746515
>>9746644

kek

I miss it when first world country poor folk weren't 310 lbs.

>>9749712
>Muh Cold War paradigms
I miss it when only educated people could access the internet.

>>9746567
>Literally irrelevant when eaten along fat and protein containing foods
moving the goalposts

>>9749377
fair enough, it's not called DCF in my state so I googled it and Florida was the first few results. my apologies

>>9749507
>abuse or neglect
he fucking sat on a baby
I find it hard to believe he's going to be taken to court and convicted of
what the fuck would you even charge him with?

>>9747774
I had a good laugh

>>9746042
>>$20 a week
>Good fucking luck.
just buy 20 hamburgers bro
thats at least two burgers a day

>>9746026
le reposted shitpost thread XD

>>9749780
>what the fuck would you even charge him with?
High chairs and misdemeanors.

>>9746026

was it barking or somethin?

>>9746515
CHRISTAPHUH

>>9746026
Holy shit. Imagine being crippled for life and knowing it was because your fatass uncle sat on you when you were a baby.

>>9750448
you got a bee on your post

>>9749351
old /r9k/ was the best
ill always miss the old days there

>>9746026
ramen noodles my guy, 3 packs a day should be cheap enough

also buy rice in bulk and maybe you'll have money left for dried beans

>>9751015
>lose weight on ramen

>>9749557
>go to /r9k/ for 2d girl boys
>go to /ck/ for 2d babys

>>9749818
Wanna link me the archive?

>>9749372
This is the best part about being naturally anorexic. I have almost no appetite, so $20 can last me weeks if I get off my ass and cook.

My girlfriend's the same way too. I made some food last night and it'll probably last us all week.

>>9750950
Me too
It's just awful there now

Nigga how did you sit on a baby? It's not a goddamn TV remote it's a baby you stupid fuck

>>9746515
lol i came here to post this

>>9749367
I want to *fuck* Emma

>>9751494
I want to fuck Emma in the ass while she moans rape me, record it and post it online. Then watch as she becomes more popular with feminists by having an article saying "how I empowered myself through rape roleplay"

>>9751505
>new fantasy acquired

>>9749788
>Dubs
checked

>>9748666
How should anon kill the baby?

>>9746026
Fuck you if this is true

>>9746522
Judging by your education neither are you

>>9751494
>>9751505
Well, she's apparently literally a hooker so if you have the dosh or connections I guess you can.

>>9751551
Obviously call Emma and make a vore scene

>>9751257
>my ass
>my weight
>my girlfriend
>pay attention to me
another tripfag to filter

>>9749506
unf hairy arms

>>9751551
Sit on the baby again

>>9751494
Can someone explain why some anons start foaming at the mouth for Emma Watson.

Not trying to contrarian, I just don't get it

>>9752154
well for one she is pretty
and a celebrity they grew up with in the potter movies
why do you think everyone is all about gal gadot now? visibility

So even if she is worst emma dudes will still like her

>>9752159
>>9752154
Sure visibility accounts for some of the fervor, and sure anons here aren't 100% sane.
Anons talk bout her like haven't seen any other women.

>>9746026
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment

read it wisely my fat friend

>>9746551
Only if you get rice that grows in the south. The arsenic in rice comes from the soil they used to grow cotton in. Get rice from asia or california

>>9749506
virgin boi