/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Yum

Watching.

:(

A new journey?

>>9737954
>tfw every member of my family is broke because we all send money to cover my dads bills because hes anally rampaged by debt(he makes 100k a year, doesnt even come close to fulfilling his debt)

We haven't been able to afford a thanksgiving turkey for a decade. Yes, I know, my Dad royally fucked up. It was mainly the housing collapse, though.

>>9737954

>A five gallon bucket of soy

Show us your moobs

>>9737972
They give out free turkies and all the sides if you are poor enough.

And you apparently are.

Ok so on the menu today we have

Slow roasted pork tamales
Turkey roulade
Peanut butter and jello cake

>>9737983
were white they scoff at us if we so much as try to get help

>>9737984
>>9737954
Fuck off soyboy faggot

>>9737984
will there be spam in the roulade
i'm very excited

>Jellow
>jalapenos
>spam
>5 gallon bucket of kikoman sauce

Op no... don't do this

>>9737984
>peanut butter and jello cake

From your BUCKET of so sauce I'm assuming you are asian and Asians don't do Thanksgiving.

We have a special holiday guest :)

>>9737954
you're a week and a half early
did you make a big score or something?

>>9737988
Sure thing anon!

>>9737972
what is legal bankruptcy?
>>9737981
DT had that way before the soyboy meme
he is immune to moobs

>>9737996
>Early
Nigga he's celebrating the American tradition of eating a shit load of food

>>9737995
Please treat kitty nicely!

Ok lets make this cake first

Oh please god not again

>>9737954
>5 gallon bucket of soy sauce
>meow mix
don't disappoint me, OP.

>>9737995
how does it get along with your dog

>>9738007
only the dead can know peace from dinotendies

>>9738003
he always posts around the first of the month
"nigga"

Lol this stupid fucking blog again? You know they have a website for shitty blog like threads, and it's called reddit

>>9737999
i was worried it would only be in the tamales i am extremely happy

i wish i could join you for this meal

>>9738006
where's the peanut butter dino?

>>9738002
I tried for years to convince him to just fucking declare bankruptcy

but no

the whole family must be underweight instead

Is that a fucking katana?

>cat food and a bucket of soy sauce
Proceed with care

>>9738034
Soda cake nice. Just like the Irish do.

>>9738051
what the fuck is the thing with the pink handle on the left? is that the noose for when OP kills himself?

>>9738058
Abortion wrench

>>9738058
its his beautiful whisk

>>9737954
Just in time! O_O

>>9737954
>stuffing mix

>>9738070
Cut your nails

>>9738075
>>9738070
the thumbnail looks groomed on the right side

do you get your nails done dinofriend

>>9738074
Pleb couldn't even spring for Stove Top

>>9738090
It's one of the easiest things to make buying it boxed is lazy

>>9738095
stuffing arguably involves the most work if you actually make your own bread for it, aside from prepping a larger-end non-processed turkey

if you don't then you should not make stuffing and learn to make bread

Bird still frozen.

>>9738115
i hope you're not gonna f up a turkey just for our amusement, friend

>>9738133
>cheez whiz

it's coming for us

We cakin

>>9738102
I just go to a bakery for bread

>>9738133
why does the ketchup look more like blood than ketchup?

>>9738133
>6.5 pounds of cheez whiz

>>9737954
Oh boy, oh boy!

There's no drinks in the fridge

>>9738170
Why is it in the fridge? Who wants cold ketchup?

>>9738200
Q: Do I need to refrigerate Ketchup?

A: Because of its natural acidity, Heinz® Ketchup is shelf-stable. However, its stability after opening can be affected by storage conditions. We recommend that this product, like any processed food, be refrigerated after opening. Refrigeration will maintain the best product quality after opening.

>>9738146
stuffing would then certainly not be the hardest to make and that is certainly wiser than using storebought

>>9738200
Probably weird but I actually prefer my ketchup cold.

It's recommended that you refrigerate ketchup after you open it but if you just grab a bunch of ketchup packets from a fast-food restaurant you don't have to worry

>>9738028
Is that an improvised whisk with paint on it?

oh fuck I made into a DT thread b4 its over praise kek

>>9738133
>nearly 7 pounds of cheez whiz
please don't tell me you're going to frost the cake with cheez whiz

>>9737995
That is a raggedy muffin.

>>9737954
Nice!

>tfw you will never whip up culinary abominations with your gutter cats in your murder shack

>>9737954
this is the most thanksgiving that I am going to get this year and I love it! Tomorrow the whole senpai has decided to not do turkey and the fixin's but to have grits and grillades instead. no pie, no funfetti Alzheimer cake, no 5 gal bucket of soy sauce. ty DT for warming my holiday

>>9737995
boi im going by my mamas tomorrow i waas not going to but she is a bitch or i meant because she is a bitch but, she has my cat that looks exactli like the cate in the picture, and she has him, also your floor looks like my floorin my kithcek it's a sad room

>>9738358
you started holiday drinking early, cheers, anon. Your mom is cooking on 4chan!

>>9738141
this actually looks pretty good

>>9737995
yessssss

>>9738025
Why do you give him money then?

Bump

>>9738431
I don't give him money he just can't afford to give me money

I want the bird

>>9738070
cute

>>9738508
have it
take it
take me

>>9738508
try defrosting it in the microwave

>>9738508
>>9738529
don't listen to him it makes mustard gas

>>9738508

you can thaw it in your sink/bathtub/a cooler

it's best to soak it in brine. cover it in water and put about two cups of salt in there. it's gonna take a while

>>9738595
>>Not using Pepper Flakes and A1 sauce

Try it

>>9738070
thats a cute timer man

how to quick thaw birb

>get room temp water
>put birb in
>replace water when cold
>check every 30 minutes for thawing
>cook as soon as thaw

>>9738608

see that doesn't sound like bad advice but considering the nature of this thread i'm not sure

>>9737954
>that giant tub of soy sauce holding the microwave up
Why?

>>9737995
Holy shit is that Pat from Two Best Friends Play and Peach Saliva's cat Elmo?

>>9738133
>absolutely fuck all in the fridge except a bag of cheez whiz
For what purpose.

>>9737995
D-don't cook it

>Reading the thread and realizing this is the first DinoTendies thread for a lot of people
Strap in lads

>>9738728
This is the first time I've ever visited /ck/. What am I in for?

Someone post the screencaps

>mom is making deviled eggs
>used entire jar of mayo
>cornbread but not the jalapeno kind
>older brother is planning to jack off into the stuffing again

>>9738740
Join in with him, that's some quality familial bonding right there.

>>9737981
>soy sauce
>any soy whatsoever
lmao

>>9738195
what do you think the cheez whiz is for?

>>9738777
tell us DT the lucky trips demand you answer

>>9738133
>cholula
my man

Bless you DT

continue

>>9738028
holy shit its this guy. Can we get him a name already? He used this curtain hanger whisk in a previous thread. Show us your living room with the wooden box dinner table again please! Have you added more furniture?

>>9738858
>does he have a name

>>9738858

his trip literally says DinoTendies. That's his name, retard

>>9738860
I dunno, but he's my poorfag /ck/ hero. Love this guy

>>9738731
A culinary miracle wonderland.

>>9738862
my bad, gee whiz I am lost, which sub reddit is this again?

He hasn't posted in awhile guys, when should we start worrying?

>>9737954
>"Nice!"

>>9738871

tomorrow, I'd say. I'd be willing to be he's waiting for that turkey to thaw

>>9738871
I think OP is dead.
>>9738868
>subreddit
Please go back

>>9738866
Your digits sing with your message. Great! I hear this "Jack" guy is really good.

>>9738141
have you took it out yet? please tell me you forgot and left it in there for the past 3 hours

>>9738905
Jack, Jack is a special being.

>>9738911
>911
>9/11
O-Oh...I see. Understandable, have a nice day.

>>9738133
I didn't even know cheez whiz came in bulk bags like that.

Oh no

>>9738133
>The single mans fridge

>>9737995
Cute!

highly anticipated

WHERE DA FUCK IS YOU?

>>9739092
You can't rush art.

I love you DT

>>9739092
turkeys take a long time to thaw

Rip DinoTendies 19?? to 2017.

Press F to pay respects

>>9738133
>7LBS OF CHEESE WIZ
>7LBS
>7

>>9739100
Yeah but I wanna see the cake

>>9739093
I honestly think he intentionally disappears just to make it more suspenseful, or he's huffing spray paint

>>9739105
deeb goncern.

>>9737954
>ywn own an entire bucket of soy sauce
why even live

christ i hope he didn't fall asleep with the oven on

>>9739129
I NEED MORE I JUST GOT HERE.

>>9739129
Maybe the years of paint fumes and contaminents from his coat hanger whisk finally got to him.

>>9739171
Nothing can kill the tendieman.
Nothing.

>>9739096
love you too kiddo

>>9739212
>no name
>no trip
imposter!

post yfw dinotendies finally killed himself with food poisoning

The fucks going on in here

>>9739227
srry

>>9739092
The health department condemned his house, Rightfully so.

>>9737954
i want to see your cat

he will be back, he always comes back, we just won't know until he does

>>9739263
He's forsaken us, just like every other thanksgiving in my life

>>9739268
Nah, he'll be back. I swear he always does this.
Sorry you've had shit Thanksgivings, bud.

Legends always come back.

>>9739273
I don't have any faith, that's for saps.
I'm Atendies

where IS HE

Thawing the turkey no doubt?...

>>9739379
preparing the sauce

>>9739379
In a cheeze wiz induced coma

>>9738019
Original content is original content

>>9739379
The police arrested him for squatting

This is truly a masterfully crafted narrative. For instance, the cat food in >>9737954 foreshadowing >>9737995 .

>>9739379

he does this everytime. starts a thread and the disappears for 12 hours.

the possum probably chewed through his phone cable again

>>9739558
What I wanna know is how the possum is still hungry after eating all that stuff last time.

>>9739683
Possums are black holes on 4 legs.

>>9737954
So what's that tomato paste like?

>>9738133

>ketchup and mustard bottles upside down

REEE

>>9737954
>a-are you going to stuff the turkey with the mac & cheese?

i am excite

>>9737954
L A D

>>9737954
HOLY SHIT IM CUMMING

WHERE THE FUCK IS HE

DINO TENDIES COME BACK

>>9737972
>being white has done nothing but harm me
Lol I've seen this in multiple threads. Your dad's a failure and so are you.

>>9739773
Daddy Tendies told me to tell you that he doesn't love you anymore and he's never coming back.

Sorry i was busy having a quick snack

>>9739788
>quick
nigga, don't you ever leave us again

>>9739788
>quick snack
>10 hours later

>>9739788
>DlnoTendies
>capital "I"
>no trip
fuck off

>>9739830
o shit, you're right
stranger danger alert

>>9739685
This is true.

>>9739862
What happens now?

>>9738871
is OP dead?

>>9739862
ayo nigger get this fucking hype train rolling again

>>9738028
>>9738051
why do you have a fucking machete in your kitchen

Unleash a thanksgiving miracle!!!

put the bird in the oven to thaw it

>>9737954
Oh fug this will be good

JUST as funny the twentieth time haha

>>9739862
Possums are such gentle creatures........

>>9737954
Fuck yeah that weird stupid anon!!!

>>9737954
You must post the cat, mate

>>9739862
Possums are the best

Ok so the cake is in the oven maybe like 10 more minutes

>>9740678
I am on the edge of my seat

>>9740678
What has it taken you over 15 hours to do this

>>9740678
I never doubted you for a second man
Truly this is the thanksgiving that keeps on thanksgiving
>>9740688
You can't rush art

>>9740688
are you familiar with the concept of a slow cooker?

>>9740678
What about the cat?

>first time witnessing a dinotendies thread in person
i'm ready

>>9740678
its been like 3 days retard

>>9740688
Do you know how long it takes to make a funfetti cake?

>>9740694
He put the cake in the oven 8 hours ago. He posted a picture of it in the oven.

I didn't sleep, bathe, or blink until you came back
oh god I have so much prepwork to do for dinner what is wrong with me

>>9740724
What are you making for dinner?

>>9740678
The fact that this has taken 15 hours worries me.

This shit is starting to make me sad lol 15 hours for a cake

>>9740741
ambrosia and turkbirb
and rum cake but with whiskey instead (and a lot of it friend)

>inb4 carving turkey with a chainsaw

>>9740702
Even if any of that shit was put in a slowcooker, there is nothing that actually takes 15 hours to cook in a slowcooker

>>9740769
Bone broth takes 48-72 hours

>>9739507
He really is amazing at foreshadow

>>9740703
The cat will also be done in 10 more minutes.

Cake is done i will let it cool while i make the jello

>>9740769
Funfetti cake does.

>>9740802
looks good

>>9740802
Is that the naan bread? Looks delicious

>>9740814
>Anything dinotendies makes
>Delicious

You must be new

>>9740802
Mmmmm tasty!

>>9740802
That unironically looks good.
Would consume.

>>9740816
It's cake mixed with soda. Doesn't actually sound bad for once.

Speed holes

>>9740816
I was being sarcastic man, why the fuck do you think I called it naan bread when it's supposed to be cake?

I love dump cakes ;^)

>>9740825
That's actually a real thing too, my little sister made lemon-sprite cupcakes once.

>>9740830
i-is that a sword

>>9740841
Jell-O, nice and hot.

>>9737954

I'm not ready for this

>>9740841
How much heroin did you smoke last night DT?

>>9740842
Maybe >>9738028

>>9740830
should've used a gun to make those holes

>>9740841
Is that the cheesebowl I spy in the background?

>>9740867
Lovely!

>>9738070
Why do people still buy these when smartphones exist?

>>9740875
Because it's cute.

>>9740867
toasting in ebin bread

>>9740883
that birb is brined and ready
lookin juicy

>>9740875
for the same reason i still use my casio scientific calculator. just more convenient.

>>9740867
you could have just put the jello mix inside the cake batter and saved yourself the hassle. This way its just going to end up soggy.

>>9740908
No, this is better.
The jellow will seep into the cracks and then harden.
Think like, jello fracking.

>>9740883
Is she still frozen?

>>9738680
Alternatively:
>get big tub
>put tub in sink
>put birb in tub
>run water into tub continuously

Used to do this with milk. Fuck the water bill.

>>9738740
>>9738743
Never played limp biscuit? Last one to finish eats it.

>>9740922
>The jellow will seep into the cracks and then harden.
>jellow
No w's needed. And it will all be absorbed by the cake long before it ever has a chance to "harden," or as I would characterize it: congeal.

>>9740939
Obviously you've never cooked with molten jellow.

>>9740743
Food posioning is habbening

>its a dt thread

>jellow
poor bait
no (you)s for you

>>9737954
Any fancy dinner for the cats?

>>9740861
It's probably melted onto the stove

>>9740904
I don't even use the timer function, I just use the clock.

>>9740830
Simpson´s reference... Nice

Guys
Guys
I didn't see him put the powdered sugar in the cake

>>9741004
Even better, that makes it healthy.

>>9739788
>quick snack

>>9741012
>dt is making healthy snacks
world is ending

>>9741004
What do you think the Sprite was for?

>>9740861
haha it is

>>9740883
That can of tomato

>>9737954
Dear God how you not dead yet from food poisoning

>>9737954
Will you be having the possum over for dinner

>>9741078
Dino Tendies never eats this shit
its all for shock value

>>9741087
He tries it. Last time he did a little review of each part of his meal.

>>9740842
F O L D E D S T E E L

>>9737987
Fuck off nigger. Dinotendies is a hero around these parts.

>>9740830

>>9741078
None of it's actually poisonous.
Except maybe the spraypaint.

>>9741185
Does art imitate life
or does life imitate art?

>>9741185
>Holds the cake with one finger
kek

Looks like I came right in time for the Turkey. Any speculation on the pounds of cheese wiz?

>>9737981
Bruh that is so much soy sauce imagine accidently spilling the thing and that stench would never go away

>>9741363
>implying any stench could penetrate the natural odor of dino's house.
I wonder if he still has the hotdog.

>>9741279
I'm thinking he's going to stuff it in the turkey

>>9741363
How do people not see that his broke ass garbage picked an empty bucket from behind a chinese takeout because he needed a microwave stand?

>>9741385
Because they'd prefer to imagine him going out and buying egregious amounts of soy sauce for no reason.

>>9738737

>>9741391
DT buys nothing unbladed for no reason.

I mean, the man made a whisk from fucking coat hangers and has a bare as fridge. He's not buying anything. If he wants soy sauce he steals packets from a restaurant that he sneaks into during peak hours.

>>9737954

I see your cat likes the soy.

cool af

>>9741404
>Mint is gross with chocolate.

The suspense is killing me, what the fuck is in tha cake?

>>9741475
a sword.

and jello.

>>9741475
Dragon dildos.

>>9741475
dolphin porn

>>9741496
>extra crunchy
My hero

>>9741496
is this icing in the making?

>>9741496
what the fuck have you made?

>>9741496
>extra crunchy
degenerate

>>9741496
I'm new to /ck/ and what is this

>>9741496
it is 10PM here and i must go to sleep but no, i am stuck in this thread until dt finishes whatever he is doing.

>>9741496

The icing needed milk instead but this is one tasty cake :)

>>9741516
pure sex

>>9741522
i am 26 years old and what is this?

>>9741522
>>9741532
Looks yummy desu. I'd eat while stroking your possum.

>>9741522
that green colour is highly unsettling

when are you going to cook brib?

>>9741522
I told you the jello wouldn't set and all you'd get was soggy cake

>>9741551
It's almost like nobody give a fuck what you think

>>9741405
I imagine he would just make soy sauce using salt and sewage water

>>9741551
Wrong.
The jellow is perfectly fracked.

>>9741551
Its actually not soggy. Its pretty good.

Half of a beemo of rice

>>9741593
cute glass

>>9741593
But why

Cranwater

>>9741613
keep going

>>9741613

>>9741613
How many beemo of cranwater?

I'm about to drink a beemer of lemonade

>>9741628
Is that a plastic bag inside birb?

>>9741628
Lewd

>>9741628
>>9741637

>>9741638
The innards come with the birb like that

>>9741649
oh fuck shit's getting real

>>9741649
pls no

>>9741621
1 whole beemo

>>9741649
don't stop bby

>>9741649
HERE WE GO

>>9741649

>>9741637
You broke the birb!

>>9741649
>dinos gonna beat his meat

>>9741649
How many sewer pipes has that mallet been used on?

>>9741653
Thanks dino <3

>>9741672
this is too much even for a thread of this caliber

>>9741672

>>9741638
why are you even on this board?
how can you not know this?

>>9741638
Are you trolling?

>>9741681
>>9741683

never cooked a whole turkey before, pardon the ignorance.

>>9741649
Tender lovin

>>9741638
>being this dumb
Nigga I don't even cook and I know that's the gizzard n shiet

>>9741672
wa la!

>>9741685
your humility has earned you a reprieve
lurk moar

>>9741699
Good advice

this threads gonna 404 before he finishes

I like how you faggots already hit bump limit before he even finished because of all your cringey reddit tier fanboy comments, lol

>>9741733
We had to keep it from dying while it baked for 8 hours.

>>9741733
>having fun is reddit and cringe
get the fuck out of here, dt can always make a cross-thread.

inb4 house fire

>>9741737
you can keep a thread from dying on this board wit 2-3 bumps a day

>>9741739
skim through the thread, literally the most cringe reddit circlejerking ive seen here

>>9741672
>The Absolute state of /ck/

>>9741752
I think you're confusing faggit with desperation.
The desperation that comes with a board that has lost basically all OC. Dino tendies is like a light at the end of the tunnel. Beautiful and deadly/

>>9741733
lmao

SOMEONE MAKE A NEW THREAD

>>9741813
DINO WILL MAKE A THREAD WHEN DINO IS DAMN WELL READY

Ah, thanksgiving.

>>9741813
Dino can make one when he stops wanking to the circlejerk and actually posts.

>>9741823
What kind of magnet is that?

>>9741837
It's a bird

>>9741733
Edit: thanks for the updates guys I didn't think my bait would get 4 replies!
Edit: edit: thanks for the insulting reaction image, fucking saved

>>9741843
How does it work?

>>9741872
Socks go in, toothbrushes cone out

DINOTENDIES YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT IT'S BEEN 20 HOURS YOU DEGENERATE HURRY THE FUCK UP

>>9741975
birb must thaw

>>9742013
HOW LONG

Quick, post your afk animation when you're waiting for DinoTendies

>>9742032

>>9742032

>>9742032

>>9742032

Alright, now I'm drunk and impatient- i sholdn't be able to get drunk twice in a single tendi thread

>>9741672
I live for these fucking threads

This thread is cancer

>>9742081
>>9742084
>>9742095
Dump folder plz

>>9742107
no

>>9742032

>>9742032

>>9741185
Kek not bad at all

>>9738508
You asked for the bird
You wanted the bird
Here is the bird

>>9742110
plz?

>>9742100
you and me both buddy

>>9742032

FUCK DINO - GET OFF MY BOARD YOU FAGGOT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe

>>9742457
go back

>>9742504
fuck you, i've had just about enough of this faggot posting 2days worth of threads just to bump is juacked up youtube channel. fuck you and get the fuck out with your newfag newspeak

>>9742536
(You)

>>9742536

>>9742536

can someone link to his youtube channel pls

>>9742554
>>9742536
He has a channel?

>>9742554
>>9742561
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxVe_ICiCAvXNU780AvISeA

Did he die yet?

>>9742701
god I hope so

>>9742570
Oh it's just a How To Basic clone

>>9742731
yeah pretty much. but at least hes not AS predictable.

>>9742731
Tendies doesn't just smash everything at least.
I mean, he smashed the birb but that's unusual for him.

>>9741185
nice

>>9742731
It's literally the same things he does in these threads but in video format. It's not a clone at all.

fucking damn it dino come back

>>9737954
I love the Steve1989 branded powdered sugar

>>9738133
tomato man! it's you

>>9741593
dude that's not a beemo that's a football

wew lad

>>9741837
What do you mean it is just a nice thanksgiving bird.

>>9743294
What kind of magnet is that?

>>9743314
Fuck off , cyberpunk

>tfw only two more hours until thanksgiving ends
this is quickly becoming black friday dinner

he's not coming back you cringey fucks ruined it FYI

>>9742255
Douse she really need glasses?

>>9743526
He'll be back. He would never betray us like that, no matter what happens.

Bump

>>9743619
We are well past that point friend.

is he going to make a new thread?

tendies has left us. god is dead.

he started thread early, because he didn't think he'd be here thanksgiving day, all we can do is wait. he always comes back

>>9738028
>THE WHISK