/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9731451
I'm sure they'll miss the autistic retard who gets triggered by simple things.
Don't come back.

>>9731451
A wait.

I will not wait in lines or in general anywhere I go. Only if there are others with me. I will walk in and walk out if I see a line. Hire more fucking help.

>>9731451
Why not a phone sized device?

>>9731451
Theres nothing that is pure meat and tasty sauce.

Seriously, if you don't have that on the menu I'm just getting a baconzilla at Rally's. Better than any $100 plate anyways. Stupid fuckers make a resturaunt and don't even put good tasting food on the menu. Who the fuck thinks thats a good idea?

>>9731467
You do realize food isn't something that's instantly made right? A line/wait is impossible to avoid because some things can only be done so fast. Sounds like you're just an asshole.

>>9731481

>>9731496
>I waste most of my life waiting for other people to take priority over me
>if you value you your own time you're just an asshole
Ladies and gentlemen, the beta-male. (Probably poor)

>waiter is any ethnicity besides white
>It's dark as fuck inside the restaurant
>they wear stupid uniforms and yell shit each time you walk in the door
>they specialize in anything vegan or fagy

>>9731507
>I literally have the mentality of a 10 year old
Do yourself a favor and kill yourself nigger.

>>9731525
>waiter isn't white
Absolute deal breaker. Shit-skin absolutely do not appreciate personal hygiene the way whites do.

>waiter isn't a women
Ugh, as long as he just does his job quicky and effectively without trying to be my friend.

But if they're going to be a daft, vapid, useless idiot that babbles nonstop they better be a women then I could at least look at her tits.

>>9731506
I'm not stopping anybody from paying way too much for food that isn't ranch and hot sauce and bbq sauce lathered meat of various types. I just think they're retarded for it.

>>9731535
Embarrassing. I'm so glad I'm me and not you.

>>9731451
then you are gonna have a very very baaaad time

>>9731496
>A line/wait is impossible to avoid because some things can only be done so fast
Sure. But that's assuming that someone really needs or wants to eat that exact food at that exact time. People do have the option of going somewhere else where there isn't a line, or coming back later when the place isn't so busy.

Sometimes you're in a rush and you don't have the time to wait on something. Sometimes you have the time but you'd prefer not to wait. Other times you have plenty of time and don't mind the wait. What's wrong with checking out the situation and leaving if you don't have the time for a wait?

>>9731564
Back at you friend.

>>9731467

I feel ya, I hate waiting in lines. 15 minute wait while a table opens up on a busy night at a restaurant I want to dine at? That's perfectly acceptable. 1.5 hour wait for brunch? Nope, I'm outta here sorry.

>Want takoyaki from this place that has the best takoyaki in town
>Call them and ask if they have it available tonight
>"Yes we sure do!"
>Go there
>"Sorry, takoyaki machine not working tonight"
>Fine, order curry
A different night
>Call and ask if they have takoyaki tonight
>"Yes we sure do!"
>"Can you go check with the back?"
>"Sure"
>Sets phone down, comes back a few moments later
>"Yes, takoyaki is available tonight, chef says so"
>"Will it be available in the next 15 minutes?"
>Yes"
>Arrive 10 mins later
>Friend and I order expensive drinks, other food, and -of course- takoyaki
>5 minutes later, as he sets our drinks down
>"Oh sorry, takoyaki machine not working tonight"
>Look at friend
>We look server dead in the eye
>Get up and leave

>>9731467
Lol you know how bigger things can fit more things inside? It's kinda like that lmao

>>9731581
>telling someone to kill themselves because they don't like waiting in lines

Yeah, clearly you of all people, really have it together don't you?

Embarrassing, what if your family knew how stupid you act online? Embarrassing indeed.

>>9731451
my doctor's office does this now and it weirds me out

>>9731507
>i'm so alpha i only eat at garbage places that no one else will patronize
lel

>>9731624
>strawman fallacy

>>9731549
Unless she is flat

>>9731589
>takoyaki machine?
I don't know how you can fuck up a machine with no moving parts without the kitchen shutting down.

>>9731634
You do know that restaurants don't use those little novelty pans, right? There are industrial machines for that.

>>9731615
Haha holy shit REKT

>>9731507
>beta-male
I'll have you know I got a paper cut last week while flipping a page of my MLP cuckold fan fiction, and I only cried for 20 minutes. So you might wanna take those words back.

>>9731549
>hygiene
scared of a little dirt manbaby? The brown woman is a gift to be savored

>>9731634
You can get ones with built-in heaters and more holes (?), Since its a commercial estab they probably meant that. Looks like there are a few more parts.

Wait ill just a get a pic. This is an "imageboard" afterall

Hope it helps, on a related note, the only reason I live is when they are smaller Eggs on the buffet. But that's quite rare. Anyway hope I cold help

best,

Michael-Allen

>>9731549
Me think the cuckold doth protest too much

>>9731661
Thanks Mike

>>9731654
Kek

>>9731665
Lol I bet you never even read the source of that quote dumb-fuck nigger-lover

>>9731661
Uh, thanks for the info Mike.

>>9731661
>Wait ill just a get a pic. This is an "imageboard" afterall

>>9731467
Reserve a table

>>9731661
Thanks lori

I think I got the wrong door

>>9731467
>>9731588
I agree. Also if the server takes a long ass time to give me my menu and water I'll get up and leave.

>waitstaff rappel to fetch wine bottles

>>9731924
>job title is "Wine Angel"

>>9731982
They're technically models so you can fire them if they get fat.

>>9731467
I want to disagree. Simply because what you are saying sounds immature and not well thought out

>sitting at table
>hmmm
>no one has dropped off a menu or taken drink order
>I have no patience
>my time is very important
>leave
>walk back to car
>sit there for a moment
>think about where to go instead
>just start driving anyway
>see place across the street
>not the type of cuisine as original choice
>could be a whole different kind of gamble
>think of place similar to first choice
>driver further to go there instead
>arrive at the new choice destination
>get out of car
>walk in
>see the hostess.
“Hello, table for one m’lady”
>at new restaurant
>once again seated at table
"Hopefully, someone shows up in 180 seconds or I’m going to be doing this all night"

Or you know you could just...
>wait a few more minutes
>flag a server
or
>immediately see the hostess and ask for service.

But I said I "want to disagree" because the truth is despite the annoyance of having to waste time relocating to a new restaurant it's the better move about 99% of the time. Every time I have tried to be patient or assertive and stay at my first choice I've been burnt by every other aspect of that restaurant. The service will continue to be slow and shit. And the food is usually shit as well as a result of an overall who-gives-a-fuck attitude from the place.

I used to work service industry but my father didn't (he was military) and it used to piss me off when he would gripe about service. Cause in my mind I was like "you don't fucking know". But I swear im turning into him. I mean as soon as you don't get good service, you're whole experience is fucked. Deal with shit or waste time looking for shit. I try not to let it get to me, I want to enjoy life so I try to go to places I know and trust - even if they are subpar sometimes I can prepare and allot for that. or I stay home. And i will only risk new places when that is truly what i want to do; take a risk. sorry4blog

>I have to swipe my own card to pay

literally got up and left

>>9732096
was also and more explicitly referring to >>9731879

>>9731451
>I'm not allowed to ask for a temp on my pork chop.

YO I'M OUT

>>9732057
>>9731982
they're not hired for their wine knowledge

>>9731525
>It's dark as fuck inside the restaurant
Plebfilter

>>9732096
>>9732132
This. Thank you for understanding. It's a major red flag if a place can't figure out how to get me a glass of water and a menu and asking if I want something else to drink (I do usually an alcoholic beverage). But if you can't get to me in a timely fashion it's basically like saying you don't want my money and multiple beer orders.

>>9732329
I haven’t worked in food service, but I have worked retail and let me tell you, 9 times out of 10 when I can’t get to helpijg you right this minute it’s because I have 4 other customers and 2 phone calls breathing down my neck already, not because I don’t want to convince you to buy shit. I’m guessing it’s the same shit in restaurants. You can only feasibily serve so many at one time.

>>9731451
>wait staff is female

>>9731654
You have to be over 18 to browse this site

>>9732361
I'm talking a 20 plus minute wait bub. Also if the restaurant is understaffed I don't blame the waiter or take it out on them I'd just prefer not to pay for a poor experience. Blame your manager, blame your owner etc. But don't blame me for expecting more out of an establishment.

>"Okay, what would you like to drink?"
>"Coke"
>"We only serve pepsi products."
>Walk out

>>9732416
>order a Coke
>Is Pepsi okay?
>get up and leave
does anyone even like Pepsi?

>>9732416
>Not ordering God's nectar aka Dr pepper

>>9732416
>>9732427
>Caring about coke and pepsi in a restaurant
>Ordering coke or pepsi in a restaurant
You have to be eighteen years old to post here

>>9732416
>Go to Yurop
>Do you have Coke?
>No we only have Bepsi my friend
>Stay for the Bepsi

>>9732416
>Ask for Mr. Pibb
>Sorry we only have Dr. Pepper
>Walk out

>>9731451
>Basic hygiene violations by the staff or in the general layout of the place.
>I look at the menu and it seems massively overpriced for what is on offer/the quality of the restaurant.
>Some sort of fight breaks out among other patrons that turns violent and emergency services are called.
>I go in the door and the place reeks of smoke and drink and is filled with wasted college kids sitting around the bar making a ruckus.

Only ever left because of the last two though since I'm usually pretty decent at scoping a place out before going, and in the case of the college kids I only left because I was with my elderly parents and could tell the atmosphere would make them uncomfortable and had an alternative place I could go to on the same street.

>>9732096
Fucking hell, sounds like you're wasting much more of your life angsting about this than actually waiting for service.

>>9731451
The waitress is colored

>no-smoking policy

>>9732841
So every restaurant and bar in the State of North Carolina in which it is illegal to smoke indoors at restaurant or bar with very few exceptions?

>>9731496
You should at least get a table.

>walk in
>hostess says "How many? Oh, just you?"
fucking bitch

>>9731451
>restaurant requires that you use their app to make an order

>>9731661

Thank you sir

>>9733361
You can only afford so much space when building the place though. If people want your food enough they'll call ahead or wait.

>>9731451
If it catches on fire

>>9731661
>this whole post
Thanks though Michael

I walked out of a subway years ago because I told the brown person extra pickles and they always put like one or two extra. Fuck subway and their "eat fresh" bullshit

>>9731525
>Walk into a dimly-lit room
>Uniformed Mexican waiter says "Welcome to Chili's"
>Panic and leave, sweating profusely

>>9731661
based michael

>>9731507
You triggered a lot of soyboys

>something completely normal
>something so obscure that it never happens
>something /pol/ related


Here, I summed up the thread for you.

>>9734855
thanks senpai!

>>9731525
>yell shit each time you walk in the door
God forbid you get a taste of authentic Japanese cuisine, pleb.

>>9731525
>needing your servants to be white
Reminds me of this desu
https://youtu.be/Xl0b2LGf9jM

>>9734855
{>things that never happen} υ {>things that happen}
Woah, that's a tight set of things

>>9733662
>one and a half, if you catch my drift
Then I whip out my hog.

>>9731525

>white is an ethnicity

Yeah you're retarded

>>9731661

Thanks Mike

>>9731661
>This is an "imageboard" afterall
>Mike
fucking lost it

>>9731451
It took you so fucking long to realize that you had time to sit down?

>>9731661
Thanks Mike

>>9731661
I really like this image, mind if i save a copy?

>>9731451
So often I will *figuratively* stand up and walk out of a restaurant but really just stay and finish.

Very rarely have I literally done it.

>>9731451
>getting this triggered over a managerial decision to ease up the ordering process
What are you, a fucking troglodyte.

>>9731661
Thank you sir, hope you have a great day

>>9731451
>plays radio
>waiters have tats or unnaturally dyed hair
>dimly lit
>waiters shouting to each other
>unoccupied tables with used dishes on them
>has a bunch of middle aged guys who clearly have been here for hours without consuming anything other than drinks look up at newcomers as if they were intruding

The latter especially is why I no longer patronize turkish restaurants despite liking turk food. If you think the restaurant is your own private playground I won't dissuade you.

>>9732427
I do, but I'm a white dude with an extraordinarily large penis.

>>9731924
I have eaten here, it was fine but nothing special. We dined at Le Cirque the previous evening and that was really something special. In fact it gave me a new standard for this thread
>it's a French restaurant and the wait staff don't speak French with the international clientele

>>9731451
>waiter doesnt write down order
>food arrives wrong

>>9733325
>North Carolina

>>9731451
Food waiting time is too long (eg half an hour or more)

>>9731589
But takoyaki is objectively disgusting. They were doing you a favor.

>>9731467
>Sorry sir there's a wait, we currently have no available seating
>"Oh ok thanks for nothing you shit waiter, fucking useless dumbass retarded waiter who can't give me a God damn seat"
You're a child

>>9731661
Thanks, Mike. Have a great Thanksgiving, and remember not to overdo it with the stuffing like last time.

>>9731451
>go to Indian restaurant
>order the bhindi masala and tawa aloo chaat
>takes forever
>30 minutes pass
>waiter brings food to table
>instead of curry and potatoes it's a pile of literal human excrement
I hate when this happens

>my order is ready and I've picked it up and paid for it

Always walk out after this one.

>walk into restaurant
>Order food
>Staff is nice, food delicious
>Server comes to me
>Bothers me in my post meal nap
>"Sir your check?"
>They expect me to listen to them beg for me money
>Wait for them to leave
>Walk out
>Never come back to a shit establishment that bothers me with shitty wait staff begging for money

>>9735443
Please tell me that image is bait.

>>9735430
Not him, but what's gross about it? I've never had it before.

>>9735463
nothing. You're talking to a picky eater.

>>9735453
nope
http://www.politicalclapback.com/

>>9735430
t. flyover with shit taste

>>9731467
>>9731496
>>9731535

femanon detected

>>9732329
> it's basically like saying you don't want my money and multiple beer orders
must fuel alcoholism

>>9732594
>Some sort of fight breaks out among other patrons that turns violent and emergency services are called.
What places do you frequent that this is on your list of concerns?

>>9732739
>The waitress is colored
Does it remind you too much about your mom's love of BBC and the fact you were the product of such?

If its the morning and they dont have any biscuits and gravy

>>9731525
>it's dark as fuck inside the restaurant
this is a good sign though. All high end restaurants used to be dark, it has superior ambience and lets the food talk for itself. strong lighting in restaurants is a result of presentation overtaking taste and leads to inferior atmosphere

Sir, please rate our service on this tablet and leave your email adress.

>>9731451
>If a burger place ONLY uses brioche buns.
If I wanted sweet, I'd go to a fucking bakery or sweet shop and buy cake.
Burgers should be in a seeded bun, nothing else.

>>9735979
He probably doesn't want VD which 98% of negresses have

>>9734851
>You triggered a lot of soyboys
Like yourself

>>9731467
Are you 5 years old?

Happened friday
>wanted mexican w/ friend
>go to reliable mexican restaurant
>looked busy but we got offered a table in the middle of the dining area immediately
>hostess seats us, give menu + chips/salsa
>notice chips are old and basket is 80% broken chips
>stop eating
>we got there at 6:30 and nobody had even given us water
>stupid bitch waitress tried delivering two plates of food when we didn't even have drinks on our table
>mention how we haven't even got drinks in, but we'll be happy to take the free food
>she ignores us and walks away to find the right table in her own damn section
>6:55 it's pretty clear they don't know we exist even though we're in the middle of the restaurant
>looks like slow service for other folks too
>really disappointed, figure it's not worth waiting a half hour for water and another hour for food
>stand up and leave
>go across the street for thai food and we have our orders within 20 minutes

>>9736433
good one, soyboy

People who bring their crying baby into restaurants deserve the death penalty

>seat yourself
Basically code for wait 30 min for your waiter to come near the table unless the restaurant is the size of a shoebox

>P. F. Changs
>Order to go
>They have a tip jar for to go orders

>go to new big restaurant in town
>it's very busy because new
>have to wait 30 minutes to be seated
>waitress sits us down
>order beer
>wait 20 minutes
>another waitress comes by and asks us what's up
>ends up taking over for our table because we've been abandoned by waitress #1 and brings the beer
>order food
>wait a good 30-40 minutes
>third waitress appears and starts apologizing because waitress #2's shift ended and she left without putting our order in the system
>pay for the beer and leave

>waitress sits down next to your party and asks hows your day, any questions on the menu, if you've ever been here before
>brochef playlist blasting over the dining area
>asking for your email address for "special deals"
>menu the size of a short novel

>>9735299
>>has a bunch of middle aged guys who clearly have been here for hours without consuming anything other than drinks look up at newcomers as if they were intruding
You'll starve if you come here to spain then.

>>9737373
Spain, Portugal and Italy are the only places in Europe I desire to visit for food, culture and drink. Fuck France and the Huns. Britstania and it's Irish/Scottish bastards are so far removed from consideration I won't even mention them.

>>9731467
I agree with you if it's over 10-15 minutes. Especially in places where there's no booking option.

There's a pizza place and a brunch place with estimated waiting time of 1:30-2h at peak time. That's fucking stupid and it's mostly millenials accepting this shit.

And yeah I'm not even mentioning the piece of shit food they serve at the brunch place. 1 hour of wait for a hard boiled egg, a piece of ham and some toasts.

No eye contact or service for five minutes

>>9736683
Its even worse if its some mexican sow with 5 screaming brats

>>9731661
What

>>9731451
screaming kids usually does it for me

>>9737574
>mexican sow with 5 screaming brats

Not hardly. It's usually a whitetrash with her precious snowflakes who takes offense at someone being disturbed by her filthy spawn making a disruptive scene. Mexicans keep their kids in control.

>>9731661
thank you very much michael

>>9735963
>Having drinks with a nice dinner is alcoholism
No Mormons or children in the thread pls

>>9737716
Lol this. Only poor white trash can't control their kids.

>the menu is way more expensive than i thought

Any of the staff have tattoos or piercings.

>>9733662
>tfw host all through uni because %50 off food and I can do homework while working

>tfw I would subtly shame anyone eating alone

>mfw they always would get emberassed

own it faggots, theres nothing wrong with eating alone, but being so uncomfortable with your own skin is ridiculous

>>9737716
>>9737749
fuck white people!

>food is not served hot
If the food is lukewarm when it gets to my table I consider walking out

>>9731451
>waitress smiles
I can't stand dishonesty

Every restaurant I go to has a 15 minute time limit. The moment I step inside, they have 15 minutes to seat me, take my order, and get me my drink. If it takes them longer than 15 minutes to do those three basic things, I will leave. At the end of those 15 minutes, they have 15-30 minutes to get me my food depending on how busy they are.
>hur dur you're just an impatient autist
I tip well. I don't expect 5 star service, I just expect decent service. If I'm hungry and I go out to eat, I expect to be served in at least the same amount of time it would take me to cook a decent meal.

>>9731661
Have a good turkey day, Mikester.

>>9731661
Holy shit it's really Michael-Allen.

>menuboard has a small font and it's hard to read
>ask clerk what comes on this one sandwich
>"It's on the board"
Bitch couldn't take 10 seconds out of her day to answer a simple question. Later I asked a chick behind the counter (might have been the same one) for some napkins and she just said gestured to the napkin dispenser in the middle of the room (which was fucking empty, hence why I asked).

>>9731661
Put me in the screenshot.

>>9731661
>Michael-Allen
literally who?

>music too loud
>lights too dim
>kitchy cutesy shit on walls
>coffee isn't free with at least something
>I feel particularly alcoholic that day and don't want to get any more booze lest it damage my soul

>>9731451
The gaming lounge near me does this and I think it's kinda cute. But then again, they don't serve food. Tablets must be hell for the kitchen staff to track on some bullshit foggy warped last-gen tablet whose software updates have rendered their Piece Of Shit POS software buggy and crash-prone and the tablet itself ruined by oily hands and outright getting smashed up by dishwashers carrying pots full of other pots

>>9737928
>le all or none post
Back to pol retard

>>9738199
>can I help you?
>uhhh (squinting)
>sir?
>people behind me glare
>uhhh
>get back out of line and decide I'm not hungry

I'm lovin' it. How about paper menus guys? Forcing rapid fire decisions on people that can't read your menus without hanging half way over the counter is uncouth.

Never once walked out of a restaurant but I have definitely gone through a dining experience as fast as possible to get out of there. Did it just yesterday, in fact.
>go to frozen yogurt place after dinner
>been there several times, staff is usually very friendly
>I had dinner pretty early so I'm the only one there
>no one at the counter, walk in, someone peeks their head around and I wave
>give me a fake, brief smile in return
>start picking my toppings
>can feel her and her coworker glare daggers at me from behind
>turn to look at them for a split second
>guy walks away while she stares at me, looking as if I just killed her firstborn
>quickly hustle through grabbing toppings, nervously ask her if there's a limit (I know there isn't since you pay by how much the thing weighs)
>she gives a cold and quick response, can't really hear her
>super nervous, shakily hand her my debit card
>continue to get judgmental eyes
>I say "bye, have a nice day"
>she rolls her eyes and i nearly run out the joint
Unrelated but I noticed a bunch of swirls on the walls and in the logo and now I'm a little creeped out thanks to the whole pizzagate thing, since swirls like the ones they used are pedo symbols. I hope it's just a coincidence.

>>9738440
POORFAGS WHO CANT AFFORD NEW EYES ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT MY FOOD

The waitress was an overweight woman with a tattoo of the name LaShawn on her forearm.
I ruffled my brow and decided to not look her in the eye for the rest of my evening there, I hope she noticed my disapproval.

>"Coke please"
>"Is Pepsi ok?"
>"No"
>doesn't order any other drink
is something wrong with my dad?

>>9738541
>intimidated by entitled minimum wage workers

if you aren't autistic i heavily recommend shit talking them on the spot
just remember that minimum wage workers are like people who watch anime - they do mental gymnastics and develop an entitlement/ego and when you point it out to them it ruins their day/week

usually only do this at subway, subway workers are the worst for this. think all that sandwich "artist" shit getting to their heads

>>9732416
>"Hi, I'd like a glass of black cherry Shasta--no ice"
>"Sorry, sir we don't have that"
>get up and leave
>write a negative review on yelp from my parked car

>>9738541
That’s sounds like it was just some teenage shitters being teenagers who hate their job

>>9731451
>wait staff are executing customers on sight

>>9737373
>You'll starve if you come here to spain then.
Welp. And here I thought that was just a stereotype.

>>9735443
Wtf, is this pic intentionally wrong?

>>9731467
This unless there's a big event in the area causing all the restaurants nearby to be filled to capacity or the wait isn't that long. I only had to deal with that once and they texted my phone when my turn to be seated was coming up so I could fuck around and not have to wait at the restaurant door for 30 minuets. I also think those table tablet things they use at Olive Garden and some other places are dumb, sometimes they don't work and they aren't cleaned between customers so they always look gross as fuck but that doesn't make me walk out.

>>9738541
Post this on /X/
They can probably most likely maybe...never mind they'll blame skinwalkers

>>9731481
>$100 a plate
>Baconator meme burger better than fine dining
>Nigga wut

>>9731661
Damn I know a guy named Michael Allen who literally acts like this. You know Braden right?

>>9731451
>No ICP playing for ambiance
>Restaurant does not serve Faygo
>Bartender isn't a Bango-bango
>Plates of nurdle for Richies with extra sauce
>Whoop whoop

>>9732841
smoker here, just fucking hold it in until after you've eaten. It's not like you're in there for more than an hour. If you need to take a puff more than every few hours you need help.

>>9735437
>Indian
>instead of curry and potatoes it's a pile of literal human excrement
Wow, I don't know what I was expecting

>finish my meal and pay the bill

>Waitstaff is black
>Staff are in high school/college
>Pic related
>Waitstaff asking about my life story

>>9731589
>takoyaki machine

>>9739426
>Waitstaff asking about my life story

>Good afternoon

>>9739445
You might not know this anon, it might make you question your grip on reality, but, there is in fact a difference between greeting someone and
>Where'd ya come from?
>What made ya wanna come here?
>What're ya doin' tomorrow?
>How long're ya stickin' around for?

When I finish my meal and have paid.

>>9731661
Thanks Michael, you're the boss

>>9739271
fUcking hell

>>9739067
Good your kind isnt welcome here faggot

>>9731661
Hi Michael, big thanks for the help earlier with the Takoyaki machine, really helps us all out down at the grove today, we'd like to invite you round for a meal one time you're free, get back to me soon when you can pick a time and date.

Thanks
Michelle

>>9731464
Lol came here to post this

>>9731451
>menu card is a tablet in a cardboard case

>>9735307
Did I post this?

>>9735469
Holy cow that website.
Not one argument is an actual argument

>>9739271
every day i wish i was dead

When the staff is too retarded to do their job.

>just got seated and opened the menu
>2 minutes later the waiter already comes and asks for our order
>politely say that we need another 5 minutes to decide, we are not ready yet
>30 minutes pass, waiter doesn't come back and doesn't notice our handsigns either
>we get up and decide to leave
>waiter instantly rushes to our table and asks if we have paid already
>mfw

>>9731451

>>9731549
I'll bet you have lots of friends

>>9736363
this

>>9731626

>>9739271
why is this happening?

>>9732124
>swiping my own card is way too hard WAAAAH

>>9731661
I really really like this image, mind if I save it? This is an "imageboard" after all.

Kind regards,

James

>>9732096

>sorry4blog

he's sorry?

>>9737991
Finally a reasonable person in this thread

>>9732594
>I go in the door and the place reeks of smoke and drink and is filled with wasted college kids sitting around the bar making a ruckus.

Those are the best places senpai. There's a bar like that near me where I usually get a few beers and eat pizza

>>9738541
>takes pizzagate seriously

You deserve whatever happens to you

>when the waitress crawls under the table and starts sucking my dick without first giving me her underpants to sniff while I sit there

I mean I am out of there pronto, Tonto

>>9731661
fuck you michael allen

>>9737425
>I won't mention them
>mention them anyway

>>9739486

>loud black family

>>9740406
cause someone wrote a script and told him to do it

>>9739486

was waiting for this
and walla!
it was posted

>>9740498
>t. Pedo enthusiast

go into some big box sit down chain establishment
>my name is aubrey, ill be taking care of you tonight. how bout some drinks
>she tells bartender our orders
>bartender goes into the back and starts yelling at the dishwashers

>>9740655
>Family with an obnoxiously loud tard gets sat at the table next to you

>>9731661
Michael-Allen is based as fuck

>>9735971
I've had it happen in two diners while on roadtrips and in a nice place with a michelin star when some dude walked in and confronted his wife with her lover.

>>9740406
soybois are allergic to fat

>>9731549

>>9731661
Who the fuck is this Michael-Allen fellow?

>>9735439
Underrated

>>9737749
>Only poor white trash can't control their kids
Like umm, try again sweetie

>waiter walks out with my food
>holding the plate in such a way their fingers are touching the food
>odds are good they just handled someone's money and didn't wash

They probably do this on purpose so when I leave the food they can have it for free.

>>9736468
Had a similar time when I went out with my dad and one of his bosses.

>dad picks local British Pub style place because they have cornish pasties
>all three of us go in and get seated
>no one brings water or menus
>wait
>wait
>15 minutes have passed
>dad says fuck it we'll go somewhere else
>we're leaving and the bartender shouts out to us across the floor what's wrong and if we need anything
>dad just waves him off and says forget it

Dumbshit bartender obviously knew we were there the whole time and never sent someone to ask us for drinks or even come out and do it himself. Is that how actual Britain works?

>>9741757
Well the british are generally mannerless and apathetic, never had a problem like that when I went to bars in london though.

>>9741757
american tourists kek

at pubs you go up and ask for what you want unless it's a full-on gastro pub

sorry anon but they were pissing themselves laughing at you after that

>>9731661
Good guy, Michael-Allen.

>>9741816
Nice reading comprehension

>at a japanese place with co-workers
>the place has this amazing thinly sliced beef marinated in some pretty acidic sauce
>fucking amaze-balls
>order it right after getting cold sake
>waiter warns me that it's raw beef
>"I know, it's fine"
>go back to talking to friends
>waiter comes back 5 mins later asking if I'm sure I want what I ordered since it's raw beef
>"yes"
>go back to my sake and talking
>my raw beef arrives
>the waiter reminds me that it's raw beef for the 3rd time
>i burst out laughing, as do other people at the table
>he doesn't know what it's a about
I wasn't angry or anything, it was simply funny.

>>9738660
He's a man that sticks to his rules.

>>9741846
you want the guy behind the bar to walk out and hand you a menu or what?

>>9741855
You know what you ate was raw beef right?

>>9731661
Michael Allen Fitzhenry

>>9741855
as someone who has worked in service industries before, he probably has had people go apeshit over their raw beef even after being told multiple times

>>9741859
You're talking about tourists for some reason when the guy is telling a story about going out with his dad and his dad's boss at a "british pub-style place". Just read more carefully next time.

>>9741863
Now that you mention it... I do mildly recall it being raw beef...

>>9741873
Probably. I understand he was doing his job, I hold no grudge. It actually became a good joke during that night.

Im not an asshole so i dont do that. But this thread made me think of this:
>live in the hood for a year after high school
>go to 711
>theres always tons of beggars outside
>dude asks me for money
>"i dont want you buying booze, how about i buy you a hotdog"
>dude springs up and follows me in
>starts grabbing a bunch of shit off the shelves
>walk out
>start car
>rip away
Fuck that 711, also went on lockdown while i was inside once
>Fat drunk native walks in
>Takes bag of chips
>opens it and starts pytting nacho cheese from the machine into the bag
>girls tells him he has to pay first
>"fuck you you fat cunt"
>she presses button to lock doors
>he kicks through the glass and walks away
Never live in Regina my friends.

>sit down
>Order food
>20 minutes pass
>Waitress comes back
>"Sorry have you been helped yet?"
>Literally the same waitress

My favorite is always
>be told to seat selves
>be told 'oh who sat you here, can you move?'
>have 6 people now crammed into a booth instead of booth/table combo
>person who makes us move walks off
>wait around for 10 minutes to place drink orders
>drinks come instantly
>server comes back in 5 minutes asking if we're ready
>place orders
>one person gets their salad, another wants baked chicken
>tell them it's fine if we get everything all at once
>realize an hour and a half has passed and no food or staff has checked on us
>leave a 10 for the drinks we had and just decide to leave
>'HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING, YOU HAVE TO PAY'
>'WE'RE CALLING THE COPS'
Wait another half hour while explaining to the staff that our food never came and we left a ten to cover the drinks and just want to leave
>police show up and talk to both of us for another fucking hour
>friends and I are losing our minds and laughing our faces off
>staff is obviously super pissed because they think they just caught some dine and dashers
>so more than two hours later; our server finally says~
>'oh no, they never got their food because they tried to dine and dash.'
>cops staff and everyone has a big laugh
>while laughing all of us say we will never come back to this joke of a business again
>police investigate for a false report as we leave
Probably the funniest two hours I've been a part of in a while.

>not just going to mcdonalds drivethru
I eat outside for the taste, not for muh rare steek snobbiness. What's the fucking point on paying premium for shit I can cook myself? The flavors of mcdonalds though, those have been engineered and crafted to make you fucking addicted, they are great.

>b-but muh asian foodz
pic related

>>9742035
Fucking hate that
Ive had several times where i want to leave but the waitress is nowhere to be seen so ill just leave cash on the cheque and when they see me leave theyre always like "Stop you didnt pay!" fuck u cunt its on the table wherw were you the last 30 minutes

>>9731661
Based fucking Mike

>>9739271
>that webm
>pizza blotter
>"Oh lol he's just one of those fags--"
>eats pizza with knife and fork and glove

>>9731661
Thanks Mike, stay comfy.

>>9741816
>being an american eating at a restaurant located in america makes you a tourist
the unironic and absolute state of the soyfederacy of yurop

>>9731589
>takoyaki machine

What is this? Just the little ball shaped griddle thing?

Are you a technophobe or autistic?

>>9731661
Hats off to Mike

>>9732739
This desu

>>9732572
You can't be a real person

>>9741909
>>Fat drunk native walks in
>>Takes bag of chips
>>opens it and starts pytting nacho cheese from the machine into the bag
>>girls tells him he has to pay first
>>"fuck you you fat cunt"
>>she presses button to lock doors
>>he kicks through the glass and walks away

That's awesome

>>9731661
Thanks a lot Mike, keep being a cool dude.

>>9740487
t. College Dudebro

>Every waiter is gay

>>9742938
>every waiter is straight

>>9742938
this is every restaurant in NYC for some reason

>>9743187
City water full of women's menopause medicine that they piss out into the water supply

>>9743187
Because real men get real jobs, ever seen a straight flight attendant?

>>9731661
thanks mike

>>9732416
>"Okay, what would you rike drink?"
>"Coke"
>"Ok"
>Watch her go back to soda fountain
>Pours pepsi
>Walk out

Not a walkout but not return thing
>in a largish group
>waitress doesn't write down order

>>9743243
That's stupid. A good professional waiter can remember a table full of orders, as easily as it could be a lazy ditz fucking up her job.

>>9741855
I kinda see where he is coming from we have a carpaccio on the menu for half a season and kept getting complaints that the meat was completely undercooked/raw people just saw a foriegn word with truffle on the dish and ordered it not really knowing what it actually was it was so bad (and servers couldn't handle explaining it well enough) we decided to replace it midseason

>>9743251
I don't care if you "can" remember it. It doesn't impress me to do that. I want you to write the shit down so it is correct and your attentional resources are being used efficiently.

memorizing orders impresses the manager not the customer.

Took my girlfriend to an expensive restaurant the other day. Waiter didn't write down order (for two people). Managed to get it wrong. Perhaps he could've double checked or would've paid adequate attention if he fucking wrote it down.

Left him a $5 tip on $117 and laughed to myself about it

>>9732416
>>9743229
The absolute state of soda drinkers.

>>9739352
I wanted to open an ICP themed restaurant but I gambled my seed money away.

>>9743322
>waiter walks up and just puts his dick on the plate
>stands there staring at you

>>9743322
Gambling that money on roulette would've been a better investment than that ICP restaurant. Juggalos don't have fucking money to eat in restaurants, and are shit employees by default. Maybe if you just kidnapped a bunch of juggalos and beat them with a metal nozzle on a rubber hose a couple times a day you'd have something.

>>9731661
Why does it look like a three eyed alien that is disappointed in me?

>>9731661
You're a good guy Michael.

>>9737749

>>9736378
>he's never had a burger patty sandwiched between two glazed donuts

>enter self-serve frozen yogurt place with girlfriend
>entire place is empty
>not even workers there
>me and gf get our yogurt and stand at register, put our stuff on the scale
>nobody
>peek over the counter, nobody
>loudly ask if anybody is there
>I just walk into the back and holler for somebody after a minute
>nobody
>go back out to the main area
>hear somebody walking from the back
>"DO NOT EVER COME IN THE BACK AGAIN, IT SAYS EMPLOYEES ONLY FOR A REASON"
>give them an incredulous look, tell them I could have just left after taking everything since nobody would have stopped me
>"ALRIGHT IM GONNA NEED YOU TO LEAVE"
>take cups and leave without paying
>worried all night that they will somehow find me for stealing ~$4 worth of yogurt
>never go back just in case

was an odd experience, I generally avoid places with no employees visible now

>>9731467
this

>>9736630
>>9736433
look ma! I'm using the latest meme! Am I cool enough to hang with the jocks now?

>>9735443
Lets just ignore that one wall in China then I suppose.

>>9743641
found the soyboy

>>9741147
She looks less like poor and trash and more like solidly middle class bourgeois and domineering.

>>9734982
>one and a half, heh *unzips dick*
>"Inches, apparently."
>the cops refuse to let you live it down as they haul you off for indecent exposure

>>9731589
did you at least chug back ur drink as a fuck you, anon?

>>9731924
this is actually a great way to store wine and look fancy at the same time. Great work to whoever designed this.

>>9731661
You're a great guy, Michael!

>>9732427
>have post mix machine
>only have pepsi
>someone orders a coke
>pour them a glass of pepsi
>no one ever can tell the difference

HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>9731661
Appreciate that Mike.

Did you check your Jira board though? The last few standups you've been really off your game, and everyone in the department is worried about you.

Regards,

Eric

>>9735437
>Not getting the Pundi takeaway

What a knob

>>9743309
>attentional resources

>>9731451
I paid bill and done eating.

>>9743961
I'm American, and most American Indian restaurants don't serve Pundi.

>>9731661
Cheers Mike!

>>9732194
Well yeah, I wouldn't hook some old ass dude with hip problems up to that just because he knows a lot about wine. He'd probably start complaining 5 minutes in right before the harness tears through his adult diaper and sprays shit all over your wine tower thing.

>>9743939
this, i swtch them both ways, also diet/stevia (between the 2 only), gotta try with other flavours too, its just bubbles and sugar

>>9731661
God I love these posts.

>>9731525
>they wear stupid uniforms and yell shit each time you walk in the door

this is the worst part

>>9735326
you have not eaten here. get over yourself you're on 4chan

>>9736363
when did u make this up?

>>9736938
>brochef playlist blasting over the dining area

I fucking hate this so much. turn off or turn your fucking music down its not a fucking club

>>9731467
This, I absolutely hate restaurants. They waste time, money and patience. I only go to kebab/pizza/burger places.

>>9731467
This 100%.

If I wait more than 3-5 minutes for the waiter to show up, I walk. If I wait more than 3-5 minutes for my drinks to arrive, I walk.

>>9741855
You should have freaked to him about it being raw just as a joke.

At the fast food drive thru, if there's any fuckery ahead of me, I'm leaving.

Example: some irate guy getting the wrong order and arguing at the window.

>communal tables

I simply cannot eat comfortably with strangers sitting right next to me. Either I'm sitting on the end, between two people I know, or I'm leaving.

>wait staff trying to rush you

I don't give a shit how busy you are, this is simply rude

>>9739271
I eat pizza with a knife and fork too - as I refuse to put anything in my mouth that has ever touched bare skin without being thoroughly cooked or washed afterwards - but this guy is such a faggot.

>>9741909
I live in the NWT and our natives aren't that crazy

>Chinese restaurant
>has literally hundreds of menu items

Most impressive I've ever seen was a place in Toronto with a really mundane name, it had over 600 items. I get that it's just different combinations of the same 10-12 ingredients, but it's still really fucking dumb.

>>9746792
bullshit, once you're in line you're stuck there, there is no leaving the drive through till you get to the front of the line, unless you're a curb hopping tard who doesn't care about blowing a tire

>>9747059
I think Shopsin's has quite a bit more than that. The documentary I Like Killing Flies is worth a watch.

>>9747033
>I refuse to put anything in my mouth that has ever touched bare skin
cooks are always touching up your food with their bare hands in the kitchen

>>9745044
what makes you think everyone here is some kind of fat, neck beard, shut in virgin?

>>9741855
>amaze-balls
fucking kill yourself buzzfeed

>>9747106
shit if people knew half of what goes on in the kitchen they'd probably never eat at the restaurants I've worked in.

>>9747165
>>9747106
I know that, that's why I only order dishes that go right from the oven to my table. I know that there's a chance that it might make contact, but the hotter the better, and if the entire plate is piping hot I'm usually okay.

>>9747186
if someone touches your food with their hand, you aren't going to die or get sick. why are you so nervous about it?

>>9731467
Shadman

>>9743939
You faggot must have terrible palate due to smoking or permanent cock sucking if you cannot feel the difference.
Pepsi is the sweet shit obese muricans like to drink in 10L canisters while rolling on their fatty scooters. Coke is the masterrace drink with a more "dry to the palate" aftertaste. Once I explained this difference to 4 friends all of them were able to guess during a blind test.

>>9747203
>trying to rationalize mental illness
Just stop. Trust me, I've heard it all before, and it sounds as dumb to me as "dude just stop being sad" does to someone with Bipolar.

>>9731464
>YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME YOUR MONEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE IT THIS IS BULLYING

hmmmm I wonder who really has the autism

>>9747228
when you smell a fart you are literally inhaling aerosolized shit fyi

>>9739426
>>9739478
Only tangentially related but

>whore tries to start conversation about my fucking life

Do these fuckers think anyone is paying for their highly stimulating conversation.

>>9747276
When you smell anything, particles of that thing are entering your body, I know.

>>9747250
The guy who refuses to wait several minutes to sit but is too retarded to realize he would be sat by the time he drives to another restaurant that may or may not also have a wait.

>>9731451
The staff is more than 1/4 black, you just know your service is going to be shit and the food WILL come out overcooked because they're so used to black families requested all their food be extra crispy. I used to occasionally go to TGI Fridays near me and the staff slowly became more and more black as the patrons also followed suit and each time I went in the food came out more and more burnt and the place was louder and louder.

>>9740498
>pedophilia occurs in pretty much every higher-echelon organization in the world.
>but there's NO WAY it could be happening in the government!
Jesus Christ you are a simple man.

>>9747227
i think in hindsight i have drank pepsi with them saying it is coke. its not like im going to go up in arms assuming its pepsi rather than watered down coke or whatever else because it isn't like they have a way to prove it without taking me in the back or something. wish people would just tell me though "hey we are out". always knock a dollar off tip if i suspect it though

>>9731467
Depends on the size of the wait, how much we wanted to go to this place, and how hungry we are. I agree, this is a sensible answer, and frankly one of the few reasonable reasons for a person to walk out of an establishment.

Although, I do have a story of walking out of an establishment:
>Go to this round-table pizza by my house quite frequently
>They give coupons on magnets with every purchase, fridge is littered with them
>Get home after work one day and go straight there
>Oh sorry man, I left the coupon at home, can you hook it up? He does. Awesome.
>A couple visits down the line, a similar situation happens
>Hey, I didn't have time to run home to grab the coupons...
>She says, "Well bring them with you next time then"
>I'm a little dumbfound for a second, and continue on and she tells me the total
>I say "You know what? Forget about it, I think I'll go somewhere else."
>Look on her face was priceless

I didn't go back to that round-table for like 6 months because of that. And that was my go to spot for where I was living at the time, and I eat pizza AT LEAST twice a month, if not once a week at my more frequent patronage. The thing you have to understand is, Round Table is fucking expensive as fuck pizza without those coupons... and they give them out so much, and I frequented the spot often enough, that I felt asking for the coupon discount wasn't being unreasonable. I'm a good customer, it's not like the discount comes out of their paycheck.

>>9731630
>pic
When losers take the time to do this, why don't they take the time to take the picture correctly so it at least looks as realistic as possible? She's like floating in mid air! And he made her taller than him!

>>9731661
Quality post Mike, keep up the good work.

>>9736468
>>9741757
This seems like a common thing to happen in the restaurant industry. My theory is it's a rare but possible thing that can happen in any establishment where they seat you right as the table section you're being seated in is changing hands, and you get forgotten about or something... Anyone in the food biz know why this kinda thing happens?

>Be VERY young
>Go to Denny's with Grandma and Grandpa (rip)
>Get seated in a corner
>wait, wait, wait (seems like forever to my young self)
>Finally based Grandpa gets pissed and walks us out to go elsewhere
>The wait staff try to stop us apologetically
>Grandpa politely tells them to fuck off, in a firm commanding voice, that only a man from his era can pull off.
I miss you granpa.

>>9742035
Frankly, I wouldn't have stopped, so this whole situation never would have happened to me.
Thanks for being a little bitch, I guess?

>>9738541
>>9738672
>>9739090
>>9739270
>>9740498
Ugh, it's like you're all virgins. Obviously they were fooling around in the back, and were pissed off he interrupted them.

>>9746997
>nogunz design

>>9731472
text them the order

>>9731661
Thanks, Mr. Allen.