/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9655278
tfw no pissing beef balls street vendor in my city

>inb4 >inb4

>>9655691
Them fucking chimp hands trying to peel the banana

>>9655681
>tfw no qt wife trying her best

>>9655691
There was really no reason for him to be in a car for this.

>>9655691
>first glob of mayo
Dude you didn't finish spreading it
>2nd glob of mayo
Jesus dude chill out
>3rd glob of mayo
This has to be a home
>banana
What the fuck?

Is this that Jack fellow everyone shitposts?

>>9655749
no, his name is Joey.

https://youtu.be/2XP-LDh8TyI

>>9655776
Oh yeah. I remember that guy.

>>9655749
this is the same guy

>>9655691
woowooWooOOwoo

>>9655278
>ultra-refined japanese cuisine
>plain rice
>some beef
>an egg
fuckin bravo

>>9655811
WA-LA

>>9655278
>Cooking with Goku

>>9655925
>flyovers enjoy this

>>9655749
No, this is Jack.

>>9655832

>>9655811
Chinese chef originally, and by this time he was a monk, so it's simple monastery type food. That's a part of the humor.

>>9655278
>He's only an orange belt

>>9655978
There is literally nothing wrong with being gay.

>>9655691
>that peasant hand
how revolting

>>9655278
Has spinkle salt on elbow mediterranean man found his match?

>>9655524
wat
what's the exact function of that machine?

>>9656605
to divide the spagoot

>>9656605
This is how spaghetti is made nowadays. Sorry to ruin the magic for you

>>9656605
it sorts the strands by length

>>9656477
You're right, there isn't.

>>9656655

>>9656655
jesus christ

>>9655776
Joey, pin me with your hot thick limp morning sausage and smother me in buttermilk.

can't be arsed to make a webm but here it is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5qJ3MAPxS8

>>9656655
>degreasing pizza
Ulillillia would be so proud

>>9655681
Do Americans really make the disabled cook their own meals?

>>9655990
Caught completely off guard

>>9657329
>all those robots frantically trying to pick up individual links and sort them out

There must be a better and much simpler way to sort the sausages out. Just cmon dude.

>>9655691
did he really need to film this in his car?

I bring you pizza

>>9657451
full video
https://youtu.be/twnIEJdzzws

>>9655459
Just subhuman things.

>>9655983
It makes my blood boil that this man thinks he has a right to exist. If see another Jack webm I'm going to kill myself

>>9655925
Pointless

>>9657356

>>here's your $45 alfredo sir

>>9655990

>>9657485
Is that supposed to be ice cream soup?

>>9655733
Considering the food being eaten he's probably homeless.

>>9655459
she's cute af

>>9655983
God, he's a retard. Aren't those Kitchenaid stand mixers like $1000 each? Why would he spend that much on something he'll never be able to use?

>>9656655
You can just tell this guy is a massive queer that bottoms from that webm.

Meat is a bit burnt but tell me it doesn't still look pretty good.

>>9657520
Is there a difference from eating the animal alive and killing it and deep frying it?

>>9657631
Disgusting American trash. I bet all that meat was frozen, and that undefined sauce looks like month old cocacola-piss, and to top it off, the meat was either over cooked or undercooked. And the bun looks shitty too.

Like seriously "mmm look lots of shitty meat" how American can you get.

>>9657639
>T. Subhuman gook

The difference is that the animal doesn't suffer to be consumed in Western society, you self important slantnigger

>>9657122
No, but when I was in high school, they made them clean the cafeteria.

>>9657655
That doesn't make any sense

>>9657568
DAMN! he would look so much better with a beard

>>9657675
>Milo
damn

>>9657776
those would be delicious and the gif is interesting but damn those little shits are cute.

>>9655459
>>9655459
Wifey material
Confirmed
Got my guns blazing

Loko webms shall follow

>>9657746
DELET THIS

>>9657631
>*taps the knife*

>>9657403
>No face protection

Really Adam?

>>9657776
Is it their blood draining from their body or is there something else going on here?

>>9655278
best hong kong movie ever

>>9657864
Their chromatophores defaulted back to their natural state since they're dead.

>>9657852
We gon eat good tonight boy.

>>9657864
chromatophores, I think

>>9657881
Interesting. I wish I could change my skin color with muscle contractions.

>>9657894
>I wish I could change my skin color with muscle contractions.

>>9657368
is this what nuggets are made of?

>>9657864
Those are cuttlefish. They can control what color they are for camouflage and communications purposes. When they die, they go back to their "normal" color.

>>9657802
why?

>>9657881
>>9657885
neat

>>9657655
>livestock kept in the squalid conditions of factory farms don't suffer
>wild game thrown into violent death spasms after being stuck with arrows by rednecks who want to be special don't suffer
At least invertebrates can't feel suffering. That little octopus felt less stress being eaten alive than the chicken that was ground into your McChicken felt living its short life in a filthy cage.

>>9657901
top post

>>9657675
Decantering from such a height!

>>9657107
there's nothing wrong with degreasing pizza, fatass

>>9657647
dont look now but your penis envy is showing

>>9657929
lmao just hunt for your animals and land a clean kill
lmao just trap with a method that kills instantly or nearly instantly

>>9657647

>>9657342
>culling of the dirt rockets

>>9656477
>being gay
If you take a girl to see/eat something like this she'll be literally gushing by the time you take her home.

>>9658027

>>9657852
damn those pigs react in like .0001 seconds
still not fast enough tho
fucking hogs

>>9657474
isn't it more efficient to make them squared?

>>9657937
underrated

>>9657908
It's what dreams are made of.

>>9655990
got me, nice

>>9657937
I got this reference! Gud post.

>>9657485
looks like someone popping a pus-filled tumour

>>9655459
What if it crawls into her lungs?

>>9658090
some escaped but the video was edited to make it look like it got them all

>>9657474
Now I know where pizza comes from.

>>9655804
How does this man live with himself?

>>9655925
>american hibachi
>Japanese
You americans do realize this is not true Japanese cuisine? It is a fad started by a vietnamese man trying to profit off of your ignorance. I guess it worked! :>)

>>9657777
You have four numbers straight in a row!

>>9657675

>>9655291
>2017
>not living in HK

>>9655278
source?

>>9658746
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_God_of_Cookery

>>9655811
>he hast experienced true "sorrowful rice" yet
I pity your existence.

>>9655990
Do americans really eat this?

>>9657929
Idk man. I know that octopi feel gratitude. And they're cute, you can't reason against feelings; that's pretty dumb. Plus, Japanese people have a history of being degenerates.

>>9658365
That's why she dipped it in oil.

>>9657722
Gotta feed dem chillen somehow

>>9655691
Souce

>>9658713
So what's actually the point of it? Cooling it off?

>>9659174
Top result on YT for "banana mayo"
Boy, that sure was hard work
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twnIEJdzzws

>>9659231
>Cooling it off?
Yes. It also becomes aerated, which gives it a different mouthfeel.

>>9659250
you can take the rest of the week off know

>>9659261
Great! That'll give me more time for my real passion; correcting spelling and grammar.

>>9659282
I really fucked up. Pls no bully.

>>9658402
Nothing at all in the USA is "true". Even creole cuisine and texmex are just mishmashes of other cultures. If Native American cooking ever had a chain restaurant then perhaps this statement would be untrue.

>>9659294
>>9659282
>>9659261
>tfw my hands have their own auto-spellcheck and I end up typing similar words and mixing shit up and Firefoxe's red underline doesn't appear because it is a properly spelled word.

I've been accused of being a phone poster like 5 times this week because of it. It is the weirdest thing ever.

>tfw I don't even own a phone of any kind

>>9659321
They aren't chains, but we most certainly have Native American restaurants.

https://www.afar.com/magazine/the-cuisine-you-havent-tried-yet-but-should

>>9658402

>>9655716
What is even the source of this, always see these egg guys

>>9659364
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9ahyPmDb7c

>>9657908
No, nuggets are white meat now.
They used to be made from delicious neckmeat.
Now they're shit because people think "mechanically separated chicken" is evil.

Fucking luddites. Neck meat is delicious.

>>9657631
It's not burnt.
that's "bark", it's caramelized spices, garlic, and paprika.

smoked meats don't get hot enough to burn.
200-220F is smoker temp.
This is only slightly higher than boiling water.

>>9659343
Yes, but those are also modernized foods. Like lavender, cauliflower, and pig were all introduced to the Americas by Europeans, yet are on the menu.

>>9657647
>I bet all that meat was frozen
Unlikely. That place is in Texas. You can't throw a stone in Texas without hitting either a cow, a slaughterhouse, or a butcher.
>and that undefined sauce looks like month old cocacola-piss
Looks fine to me. As a euro, you probably don't have much experience with molasses based sauces, seeing as how you use beets for sugar instead of cane.
>and to top it off, the meat was either over cooked or undercooked.
No, it's smoked. It's basically sous-vide with smoke as the medium instead of water. It's carefully kept at just under water boiling temp for several hours. It's not hot enough to burn ANYTHING, but it is hot enough to cause a malliard reaction in the spice rub (usually paprika, garlic and onion powder, sea or kosher salt, pepper, and a little cayenne pepper)
>And the bun looks shitty too.
Well, it's not baked in house, and is probably store-bought. I'll give you that one.

>>9659253
shut the fuck up

>>9659343

“Our lens is that food is a sacred part of our existence,”

Those are not restaurants they are fakes playing off white guilt that injuns are so pathetic

>>9659592
>make a pathetic /pol/ post
>calls others pathetic

Why do you come to a board that discusses different foods when anything other than frozen tendies with ranch causes you to meltdown into an incoherent rage?

>>9659465
Sure, as well as traditional indigenous foods. Your argument is the same as saying it's not authentic italian because they use tomato.

>>9659630
They had tomatoes in Europe a long time before Italy was founded, anon.

>>9659623
kek

>>9659634
Why would that matter? The current name of a country has nothing to do with the indigenous foods from that area.

>>9657615
It's a fake scene, he's acting

>>9656605
It's a spaghetti spooker

>>9656655

YAMEROO

>>9660042
While it's fun to watch, I don't want to kiss or try that bottle now.

>>9657329
looks like normandy

>>9656655
also nice doubledubs

>>9658963
>Japanese people have a history of being degenerates.
And so do the Americans you daft faggot.

>>9658046
everytime

>>9660042
sars?

>>9655278
Matt Groening recommends this movie

>>9657398
I was thinking the same way, over-engineered as fuck

>>9658713
BUT WHAT IS THE FIFTH JAR FOR

>>9657852
One small one on the left gets stuck underneath it

>>9660187
Is he alright?

>>9660210
The guy was alright, the lady that was on fire later died in the hospital.

>>9657852
this clips satisfies me to no end.
i envision the harshest death possible for them once the hunters get there if they havent killed themselves in a panic.
i fucking hate these pieces of shit, they deserve the cruelest death imaginable.

>>9658107
No, they're round so they can sell you less product in the same box.

>>9657831
he's not a scientist, he's a special fx workshop grunt who got lucky.

burger cooked to perfection

perfectly cooked corndog

>>9660254
what happened?

>>9657647
He says as he takes another bite of his chip butty.

>>9660302
>>9657831
Not gonna webm since it's off topic, but here's an even better example of Adam Savage, safety genius.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmsNaVIzDIU&t=350

>>9660411
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2747396/The-shocking-vision-girl-engulfed-flames-self-service-BBQ-restaurant-waitress-tips-lighter-fluid-hot-plate.html

>>9657722
It's funny because them is black

>>9660210
He's fine, doesn't even bother to check on his friend lol

>>9660551
what
is
that

>>9657398
At a guess these robots replaced a manual packing line.

Constrained in space, no control over the preceding line, want to pay the minimum in engineering cost => throw expensive but relatively generic robots at it.

>>9655681
I feel bad for thinking this is cute. She's trying so hard.

>>9660565
Don't feel so bad. She spasms even harder getting fucked by her Chad boyfriend every night (look it up)

>>9660560
It's the Bar Be Quesar 3000

>>9657722
I want this knife

classic

>>9660634
this really pisses me off for some reason...

>>9660042
FUARK SAUS NOW

>>9660304
do americans really eat this???1?!?!111+?

>>9660641
Because it's stupid?

>>9657107
>Ulillillia
oh my
haven't thought of that autist in a long time

>>9660575
source.
>>9660565
why would you feel bad for thinking she's cute? she really is cute

>>9657647
Do you even know anything

>>9660062
Not a 1000 year history, though.

>>9659956
how old are you?

>>9659253
> mouthfeel

Stfu and kys attention seeking phaggot

>>9660649
You are O V E R L Y C O N C E R N E D!

>>9659250
Joey I need your big messy tamale to smother my tiny burrito backside with muchacho chilli sauce woo woo woooooo!!!!!!

>>9655983
I always wondered, what did he do wrong here? Forget to lock it? And what was his reaction afterwards?

>>9657536
can you instruct someone to post a webm of you doing it?

>>9656655
that is not a pizza, that's just garbage with fat. how can you amerifats eat this shit?

>>9660264
those are just animals man, go visit a shrink

>>9661107
Sorry, I'll post some real European pizza for you.

>>9661154
why
just why

>>9661154
this is ja/ck/ right

>>9660634
It's really just wasteful. I mean, you could just dip the burger in the cheese if you really needed too. Why waste a bunch of cheese by pouring it all over the place?

>>9660880
Only because america hasn't existed for long

>>9660926
oh dear

>>9660560
it's scientifically proven

>>9660926

>>9661397
What is this from? It looks like an 80s horror movie.

>>9661403
how

how do you not know what this is

>>9661403
I think Malcolm in the middle.. a tv show

>>9661410
I don't know either

>>9661154
I'm raging

>>9659455
>being baited

>>9661183
You can recognize him by the fucking ugly ring. Or by the autism.

>>9661154
>those shakes
jack confirmed for parkinson's

>>9655681
>tfw no qt cerebral palsy gf

>>9661403
>>9661442
RIP Dewey

>>9657356
Hnggggg

>>9657566
I don't see butter anywhere and he uses regular spaghetti in stead of fettuccine, so I think it's caccio e pepe but with Grana Padano instead of Pecorino Romano

>>9660042
fucking white people

>>9660480
>waitress is only worried if she’ll go to jail
Typical insect. Not even worried about the life that she ruined.

>>9661136
>just animals
No, they're a scourge on all local flora and fauna both natural and cultured.

>>9661063
>tfw no qt blind gf

>>9660480
This is what people deserve for eating meat.

>>9661324
Jesus you must be old.

>>9661827
You can spend years searching for one of those.
I strongly advice you to find a regular qt and blinding her yourself instead.

>>9661638
Beetus shake too.

>>9660634
>Would you eat this absurdly cheesy burger?
'no'

As a visitor from /tg/ this thread makes me feel like if I want good food webms/etc I should stay on my own board.

The same way that /tg/ gets better anime and manga than /a/

>>9662301
is the /pol/ infestation as bad on your board as it is here?

>>9661480
He just kept them in his faggot cheeks. Fuck off

>>9662404
From what I've seen from scanning around some threads here it is not as bad. Sometimes we get some guys who want to /pol/ to their hearts content but honestly I kind of feel like we've been dealing with wackjobs longer than the rest of you sometimes, it was with us from the beginning, and we have a better handle on it.

Mainly by being completely deviant in other ways. But the nature of /tg/ with it's all encompassing interests kind of prevents people from being /pol/sters. Even weeb/furry hate is low outside of some grumbling.

I was hoping to find some good resources after some fun threads on /tg/ but Im not finding much here. Which makes me sad.

>>9660042
Why, who, what the fuck? Why would anyone find that sexy or something? Like just make out with another chick or something fuck me.

>>9662484
I mean, I dont want to touch that bottle (I dont even drink desu), but it is kind of hot?

Her technique is down, and friend holding her hair/helping?

Doesnt take a lot of imagination

>>9655811
>japanese
That webm is from a Hong Kong movie

>>9661410
sorry grandpa, what is it

>>9662489
She could just be sucking on a dildo though, or get like a table side male pornstar or something to sit behind a black sheet with just his dick out and let her suck on that.

I fail to see the appeal of blowing a bottle.

>>9661403
Malcom in the middle makes a point of making almost everything look unpleasant to remind you that life sucks.

>>9662141
i think hes doing that because hes trying to evenly spread the sauce on that """"""""""pizza""""""""""

>>9661397
How did the props department make that? Is it candle wax?

>>9657611
1. More like $300
2. Tammy's money pays for everything and it's all a tax write off because this is Jack's job

>>9657746
>I swear to god if they end up frying th-

>>9659231
frothing mostly
but also to attract customers with ebin spectacle

>>9662577
This is basically cordon bleu you dumb frogposter.

>>9660042
wow bella thorne has really gotten nasty lately

>>9657722
This woman is my hero.

>>9661688
Could be from his stroke too.

>>9657675
I went to a bar once where the waiters would mix your drinks using a technique like this. It was actually pretty impressive and those motherfuckers didn't spill a drop.

>>9655681
Lil qt cooks better than most of /ck/.

>>9657800

>>9660560
chicken gyro

Got a few here to drop

Yep

>>9662914
>coal burner

>>9655804
That's raw pork.

>>9660634
I would go balls deep with a fork and knife.

>>9662914
DISGUSTING

>>9662085
I live within 10km from a Braille institute my man

Solid advice though

>>9662956
I don't think that means the same on /ck/ as it does on /pol/

>>9663154
>>9660790
Why is /r/GifRecipes/ a thing? Why would anyone watch a shitty top down view soundless video posted on imgur instead of, I dont know, youtube with sound and stuff?

>>9663075
I think you're a silly cunt

>>9662914
Is that the guy from the kinoplex memes?

>>9660375
oh why god

>>9657722
checked

>>9657655
bait

>>9659331
>claims to be an auto spellchecker but reddit spaces
really makes me think

>>9662897
its a little taco maker

>>9660304
>not a salt and battery with a deadly weapon

>>9663213
And I think you're a racially inferior piece of shit who lashes out to make up for his sewer of a lineage by larping as a white racist. Leave that to the actual whites and fuck off back to /pol/. Or rather, fuck off altogether

>>9661403
malcom in the middle

it was great in the day but im glad it ended, it got a little weird and soap opera-y

>>9660465
of course hes an edc nerd, piece of shit

hes also incredibly rude of his underlings and coworkers who arent Jamie (who is also an asshole)

typical americans, really, they get lucky once and then think theyre hot shit royalty

kill em all

>>9663316
You people just can't help yourselves, can you?

>>9662467
As an old fa/tg/uy myself, let me leave you with something to remember this board by.

>>9657403
What the ever living fuck is he even trying to do? Smelt gummy bears?

>>9663257
>le reddit spacing meme
You need to go.

>>9660560
Only the greatest horror movie of all time

>>9663288
>make a stupid comment (it's a fucking gas grill for fucks sake)
>sperg out
Calm your tits bro

>>9657746
can this style of video get fucking banned from this board?

>>9662931
this is obviously some creepy american whitey making that taco I can tell by the way they slap the fucking guacamole on there and sprinkle the onion and cilantro and then fold it up
never

>>9663629
>He didn't even get the joke

>>9657039
I've seen the WEBM of the porchetta being cut before, but not the whole thing.
That was a nice video. Thank you.

>>9663665
Your joke was terrible and didn't work

>>9661136
To a normal person they might seems ok or even cute at times, but for a farmer these demons deserves the worst death possible. Kinda like how rich kids thinks life is easy and you have to pull yourself up from the shoelaces

>>9657746
Replace the ham and cheese with butter and it's a chicken Kiev

Only thing wrong with this is the pleb deli tier filling, it's only one step away from restaurant food

>>9660042
Reminds me of how cartman says the white women's mouth are the most vile places in the world

>>9662404
>Muh /pol/ boogieman

>>9663173
You’re in a fucking webm thread

>>9662914
>3 scoops
what a bitch

>>9663552
>pineapple, sugar, capsicum, crushed tomatoes, sour cream and pecans
>the madman covers it in cheese and bakes it
fucking fat people, man

>>9662931
>if I move everything around a lot it'll look like i'm cooking like a pro

>>9660042
On the other hand, it clearly is a skill she's had a lot of practice at.

>>9663281

>>9662381
>lasering bacon
William Osman did this and the result was Not Good.

>>9657776
I fucking hate the Chinks
They have no souls and they are not human

>>9657746
kys

>>9658402
I noticed that European are extremely triggered by the existence of Americans. To the point where I'm starting to believe there's something very wrong with you guys. What's that all about? You'd think a place with such a concentrated clusterfuck of languages, currencies, cultures and other human chaos would be able to understand the concept of cultural differences.

>>9664365
>waaah mom someone is killing animals for food, it's so cruel :((((

>>9664365
If it makes you feel any better I'd have no qualms of doing the same thing to you.

>>9658245
I think it looking vile has something to do with bad lighting and it being hard to say how big that thing is.
For some reason my brain kept saying it was about a size of a shoebox.
It clearly isn't.

>>9664624
A lot of otherwise nice food looks terrible under bad lighting. I think white/blue is the worst, with orange being the best.
That, and the light being pointed directly at it showing difficult shadows.

>>9657746
Where's the cream cheese and green onion?

>>9664365
better than fucking frying them alive

>>9664365
Um, those things are cuttlefish, not Asians.

>>9660612
Thank you for reminding this was fucking horrible honey year.

>>9660634
I would've eaten it before they drowned it in that disgusting looking cheese sauce, which probably made it cold and soggy as well.

>>9662404
The /pol/-posting here isn't even bad, the worst is usually /k/ or /fit/ with that shit.

>>9663154
This made me physically upset anon, thanks.

>>9662500

T. Closet homo

>>9662931
This faggot knows fuck all about cooking a tortilla on the grill

>>9664004
at least they aren't posted on imgur

>>9660264
Hello Muhammad, how is the Quran treating you?

>>9663612
so whats this?

>>9657356
no no no no no

>>9659587

>browses a cooking board
>is reduced to crying as soon as cooking vernacular is seen

The dinotendie cookalong is this way --->

>>9663552
that fucking thing he does with his arms after taking a bite gets me every time. like a smug son of a bitch who KNOWS he just did his best and it tastes fantastic. he knows. he knows hes better then you. fuck