/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Old women playing chicken at you with their shopping carts.

They pretty much know for a fact that you have to move out of their way, otherwise you're the autistic asshole who picked a fight with an old lady over what side of the aisle to walk down.

>>9607020
When people (usually fucking women) stand side by side chatting about their miserable goddamn lives, thus blocking access to the shit I want if not the entire godforsaken aisle.

>"What's today's date?"

Mistakenly going to the grocery store the day people get their food stamps replenished

>>9607020
I got no peeves but I got a story from some long years back
>Work at a store during summer vacation
>Guy who is obviously stealing a cart full of meats, beer, and laundry detergent tries to waltz past the checkout to the door
>Stand in front of him and forcefully bring the cart to a halt
>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING KID, HUH? BRING ME YOUR MANAGER, I'M TELLING HIM YOU JUST ASSAULTED ME"
>Tell him I didn't see him go through checkout, and that I'd like to see the receipt for his purchase
>Guy flips his shit and, realizing he's been found out, shoves the cart into me and makes a run out to the parking lot leaving it all behind
>I'm a mad as fuck high schooler with shit grades and shit wages, and I ain't about to let this fucker do that to me and get away with it
>Chase him to his car where he's fumbling the keys
>Shove him against his own car, slam his head into the door window which makes the alarm go off, hammering the back of his skull out of rage
>Firefighters who always shop here see this, in fact everybody sees this
>Aw shit now I dunnit
I got off easy with the law because by coworkers were justifying it as attempt at civilian arrest but I totally got fired for beating the fuck out of somebody. I don't know what it's like nowadays, but when I was working that store the policy was that shoplifters are untouchable once they hit the parking lot.

>>9607020
the people who debate over every item they come across for five minutes.
the people who walk so slow you wonder why they then complain if the cashier needs a price check
the people who park their cart and their body in such a way to block off an entire aisle and refuse to even notice there may be other people near by
the people who pretend you don't exist
t. grocery business for 15 years.

Old white men staring at you dead in the face

Come on. Stop that. Please.

>>9607118
You're a good guy.

>>9607020
Using the traditional cashier checkouts.

They no longer pack the bags for you, so what happens is the cashier scans all your groceries (fairly quickly) and they put it on a second conveyor belt where you have to go to the end of it and pack everything in the bags yourself. But you have to manually press the fucking button to make all the groceries come towards you. So while you're packing, you constantly have to fucking stop and press the button and hold it to make more groceries come your way. And you feel rushed as fuck because the cashier scans through them so quickly that if you don't press the button often enough, the groceries begin to pile up at the beginning of the conveyor belt. The cashier is typically finished scanning everything super quickly, so there comes a point when you've only packed like 40% of your groceries, and then you have to walk back a bit to pay for everything. After you pay, you have to go pack to the end of the conveyor belt to pack the rest of your shit and now you feel rushed again because now there's a person right fucking behind you who's ready to have the cashier scan their shit as well.

With the self-check outs, you can pretty much take your time and once you get the hang of it, you should rarely need an attendant to come fix something you fucked up.

>>9607108
>When you go shopping on the day everyone gets their oil royalty check.

>some hipster douche and his hambeast wife wedge themselves in the aisle right by what I need and stand there chit-chatting
>calmly say things like "excuse me" and "i'd like to get through, please" but they make a point of ignoring me
>there's just a little bit of room to one side so i squeeze through, grab what i need, and leave
>hear the douchebag say "i can't believe how fucking rude some people are" as I'm walking away

If I stop showing up to /ck/ it's because I'm in jail for beating some piece of shit to death with a can of chickpeas.

>>9607118
I got a story too, not as tough guy
>have to ID everyone in a group if one is buying alcohol and they look young
>two "attractive and successful" young women come through my line with like Mad dog 20/20, hennesy, heaven hill, etc...
>Hi mam can I see your ID?
>I need to see your ID too (to other lady)
>"WHAT YOU RACIST SOB WARGARBLE *chimp sounds*"
>bitch shoves cart into bagger
>finally pulls it out, made that whole fucking scene for nothing because they were both of age
>should have called the police on them but too young and dumb at the time

I fucking hate niggers

>>9607135
In some yurofaggot cultures they see it as a literal request that they dont need to fill. Granted they probably werent yuropeans but probably somehow got the same breed of insufferable.

>>9607020
Using the traditional cashier checkouts.

They no longer pack the bags for you, so what happens is the cashier scans all your groceries (fairly quickly) and they put it on a second conveyor belt where you have to go to the end of it and pack everything in the bags yourself. But you have to manually press the fucking button to make all the groceries come towards you. So while you're packing, you constantly have to fucking stop and press the button and hold it to make more groceries come your way. And you feel rushed as fuck because the cashier scans through them so quickly that if you don't press the button often enough, the groceries begin to pile up at the beginning of the conveyor belt. The cashier is typically finished scanning everything super quickly, so there comes a point when you've only packed like 40% of your groceries, and then you have to walk back a bit to pay for everything. After you pay, you have to go pack to the end of the conveyor belt to pack the rest of your shit and now you feel rushed again because now there's a person right fucking behind you who's ready to have the cashier scan their shit as well. And despite it not being your fault, you're suddenly in their fucking way and look like a retard who does everything slow as hell.

With the self-check outs, you can pretty much take your time and once you get the hang of it, you should rarely need an attendant to come fix something you fucked up.

>>9607132
Sounds like you go to a shit grocer or a WinCo.

>>9607144
Do you shop at foodmaxx/food4less? That's the only one I know that does that, everywhere else either the clerk bags them or a bagger is there to do it for you

>>9607129
Just because you're too much of a sperg to make eye contact with people doesn't mean everyone has to be.

>>9607144
I only found one store that did this. It was awkward as fuck, the cashier just sort of shrugged at me to start bagging my shit, and I didnt catch on right away. I looked bleakly around for someone to come. Why was this so humiliating? Felt like I was doing slave work.

When you are checking out and the cart tard shows up and wants to "help" load your groceries/try to communicate.
Either with you, the cashier, or the customer behind you, at very inappropriate volumes while laughing at what it thought was a joke.

People who change their minds about an item and leave it behind in an unrelated section. It's even worse when it's a perishable, like a package of ground beef abandoned in the canned foods aisle

People who leave their coffee cups on shelves

Parents who can't control their dumbass children and won't make even the slightest attempt to correct their obnoxious behavior

When aisles are just barely wide enough for two-way traffic, but you're blocked on both lanes

The same as above, but you also can't back out because more shoppers just moved in behind you

When you ask somebody to move so you can get out, but absolutely nobody gives a shit

People who tell that tired old "It must be free!" joke when an item doesn't properly scan at the register

People who refer to shopping carts as "buggies"

Cashiers who make judgmental comments about your purchases

When you're using the self checkout and the program keeps telling you "Please put your item in the bagging area," but you already put the item there, it just doesn't recognize it because it weighs very little

People who talk to you for no fucking reason. You're not an employee, you don't know the person, you just want to shop in peace

Those employees from the finance sector who follow you around the store to get you to sign up for a credit card; this is usually only a problem with larger chain stores

Customers who hold up the line with their phone conversation

>>9607159
Its not about being a sperg, just getting scrutinized with clear hostile intent.

And fuck you btw.

>>9607167
>Credit cards.
We get cut hours if we don't meet quota.
It hurts us as much as it hurts you.

>>9607167
>When you're using the self checkout and the program keeps telling you "Please put your item in the bagging area," but you already put the item there, it just doesn't recognize it because it weighs very little
push down on the bagging area with your hand then let go. usually works for me.

>>9607145
>>9607150
I'm in Canada. This is at the "Superstore" (full name: Real Canadian Superstore). It's owned by the biggest grocery retailer in the country, Loblaws, which has basically identical grocery stores under that name as well.

It's not exactly some dumpy place. I'm guessing they only make you do what I mentioned at the more dumpy grocery store chains in the US?

>>9607167
>People who talk to you for no fucking reason. You're not an employee, you don't know the person, you just want to shop in peace

I get this shit all the time. What the fuck is it about me that makes old people think I'm seeking conversation?

>>9607181
The stores mentioned are like, a tier below a WalMart.

>>9607169
Seems a bit neurotic to put intentions into random strangers' heads.

>>9607185
They think you are their grandson.

>>9607181
>I'm guessing they only make you do what I mentioned at the more dumpy grocery store chains in the US?
No it only happens at fuckhuge ones like the one you posted. Even shitty little Safeway stores bag your groceries for you. That one you posted looks more like a pretty walmart instead of a grocery store.

I have a limited work schedule, so the only times I go shopping are when the fucking senior citizens are there. I don't know what fucking happens, but every time I go to the store when I'm off work, there are substantial numbers of old people.

Someone above mentioned old ladies. I have, through pure attrition, developed a strategy for dealing with these fucking grannies.

The trick? Mirroring. I read about this trick in some pseudo-science book about psychology, so I decided to try it and see if it works.

Whenever you come across an old fucking lady who wants to play chicken with you the answer is--MIMIC HER BODY LANGUAGE. DO EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS DOING. REACT HOW SHE REACTS. MAKE THE SAME FACES. If confronted, match their TONE OF VOICE. Say whatever you want, but MATCH THEIR TONE OF VOICE.

It has never failed. The salt is hilarious.

>>9607090
Just say "excuse me" like a normal person.

>>9607175
If it's a cashier pushing the credit cards, I don't mind nearly as much, because they usually relent fairly easily.

What I don't like is when they literally follow me around the shop floor, hounding me to sign up for a credit card.

And if they don't meet quota, then fine, I'll just use the self checkout. I just have to remember to push on the bagging area with my hand if I have a featherlight item again, according to >>9607177.

Customers who come into the store, buy nothing, and ask if they can have free boxes.

>>9607169
That's quite a jump

>>9607202
Heh

>Be 19
>Working in produce dept
>Some lady opens the door
>Y'all got any banana boxes?
>No, sorry.
>What are THOSE?
>Oh, I'm not allowed to give those out, ma'am.
>YOU'RE not allowed to, but if someone took them, they could, right? What would you do if someone just took them?
>Uhhhhh I'm 19
>Walks behind me, takes boxes, and leaves.
>That was odd.

>>9607185
You're approachable. Take it as a compliment

>>9607185
They're literally just that lonely.

>>9607090
yep 9/10 times they are wearing some fuckn random fitness wear

People who leave a trail of dripping coffee across the entire fucking store because they failed the class on how to hold a cup of coffee while pushing a cart.

>>9607167
>Cashiers who make judgmental comments about your purchases

I work in a hospital and there's this one one rude bitch cashier at the cafeteria who does shit like this all the time.

>Oh you're getting a WHOLE sub and not just a half, okay thennn......

Customers who insist on their bags being a specific weight, and want you to put every bag on the scale so they can personally verify the weight of each bag.
Then want that bag double bagged.

I have had a customer do this every time she comes over to shop, and she turns the whole thing into a ten minute fiasco.

>>9607193
That's interesting.

I thought the intention of mirroring was to trick a person into quickly liking you, not hating you. How does this work?

>>9607167
fuck off with your reddit spacing, retard. You're autistic ass post takes up my entire goddamn screen.

Customers who do not use a divider between their purchase and another customers.
Customers who do this, and instead use their arm, and proceed to shove every item on the belt into a pile because the belt moved.

>>9607167

>People who change their minds about an item and leave it behind in an unrelated section. It's even worse when it's a perishable, like a package of ground beef abandoned in the canned foods aisle

God this is the fucking worst. How fucking hard is it to take the 90 seconds to put things back where you found? You better have a fucking physical disability of some kind to pull this shit, and even then, why not ask someone to put it back for you?

I'm an employee at a small store, that's still large enough to have three lanes and shopping carts.

The fuckers that don't read the pin pad and just hit yes to everything and are like "Oh, I didn't want Cash Back, how do I go back?"
You can't. I have to start the credit card transaction all over again. But I've gotten used to that, it hardly bothers me.
What sends me UP THE FUCKING WALL is when they decide the best course of action is to yank their card out to abort the whole thing.
That shit has a strong chance to freeze up my computer for the next TEN FUCKING MINUTES while I'm the ONLY cashier open.
And worse than that, there's even a chance that I'll have to reboot the computer.
Because you couldn't read a goddamn pin pad.

When my jam is playing on the in-store but it keeps getting interrupted by pages because someone won't answer their phone.
Deli Department! Two Zero Two!
You're killing me, Smalls!

>>9607167
>People who refer to shopping carts as "buggies"
Come on back down to the South now y'hear! But in all seriousness they ARE buggies you yankee faggot.

>>9607090
I remember hearing some bizarre conversations from the soccer moms who'd post up in the aisle where I was stocking shelves when I worked at Walmart.
Most of it was gossip about other elementary school moms but more than one conversation about Jews, government overthrow, and white genocide (they actually used that term) took place.
One old lady told me to invest my paychecks in silver from here on

>>9607273
>a style of posting that has existed for decades in online forums now belongs to reddit
>wanting to stifle a fellow man's freedom of expression
>You're

Way

to

let

those

faggots

win,

you

dick.

>>9607098
bitch ain't nobody keep track a that shit

>>9607084
I hate that shit.
>Be working.
>Be on a Genie lift working on something on the ceiling.
>Trying to not think about how high up I am.
>*BAM*
>Nearly jump out of the tiny basket I am in.
>Some old lady ignored the safety cones around the lift and is HITTING it with her cart.
>Hits it a few more times before lifting a corner of the cart and rolling over the base of the lift because she wanted to look at something outside.
>Comes back two seconds later, AND HITS THE LIFT AGAIN.

>>9607202
I never understood what this was for.
Crackhead types would always tell me to "save the big ones" when I was stocking, then come back an hour (or more) later and inspect my pile of broken-down cardboard. I had no idea if I was allowed to let people have them or not.
Once I ignored them and took a bunch of large cereal box boxes to the baler, and some mutant woman started shriekin in my face about MUH BOXES until someone came over and made her fuck off

I work at a Deli and old people are pure cancer.
>I want wheat bread for my sub
>Okay
>No not that one I want one without wrinkles
>???????
>Sorry sir but all of the wheat breads have wrinkles on them (of course)
>Oh can you make some more?
>No the bakery makes the bread and it'll take them hours before we get the next batch
>So you're telling me you aren't going to make my sandwich?
>I can just not with wheat bread
>I want to speak to a manager
Don't even get me fucking started on people telling you to change your gloves. There's a black woman who comes in with her five kids and it takes twenty minutes to get her order done because she has you change your gloves every time you touch a vegetable.

>>9607326
It's just phone posters that complain about 'reddit spacing'

>>9607326
>wanting to stifle a fellow man's freedom of expression
HAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wow you are a massive faggot

>>9607337
I swear they use them to make hives or some shit.

>>9607357
At

least

I'm

not

some

kind

of

control

freak

piece

of

shit

kike

faggot

>When customers complain to you about another customer using a vape pen because "It's making me cough"

>>9607358
I'm sorry I'm ignorant, are crackheads into beekeeping for some reason?

>>9607372
They build nests to spawn more crackheads.

>>9607366
>When a customer's child is screeching for like a minute straight and the parent is just standing there on their phone doing nothing
>Another customer is visibly aggravated and turns to the parent
>"Oh no"
>The customer tells the parent to do something about their child screaming
>HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD YOU DON'T KNOW ME OR WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH YOU SHOULD SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF MY FACE FUCK YOU etc.

>>9607338
>people telling you to change your gloves
Man, I worked at Ingles (white trash grocery store) deli and people were so autistic about this. One old dyke woman had me prepare a sandwich, then as I was wrapping it up after applying some vinegar, she freaked the fuck out and said a bunch of shit like "OH MY GOOOOD HOW CAN YOU USE THE SAME GLOVES YOU JUST TOUCHED THE BOTTLE WITH, THINK HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE TOUCHED THAT, OH MY GOOOOOD, I AM *NOT* PAYING FOR THAT" and walked away.
Bitch if you knew the levels of cross-contamination that the retards in this deli caused, you wouldn't step foot in this grocery store.

>>9607381
The best part is when the customer behind them tells you they're sorry you have to deal with that shit.

>>9607020
as a customer, never had any problems I can remember
as an employee, I feel like I'm the only one that cleans anything that's not obvious, e.g. dispensers, and some things that are obvious, e.g. sinks
relatedly, how do people get shit on the bottom of the toilet seat? seriously, it is a mystery to me
also recycling, it stinks just as much as the trash

Not grocery related but I guess it counts.
>When a customer gets their credit card stuck in the receipt printer, that is labeled in bold "RECEIPT"
>And after getting it fished out by me, does the exact same thing right in front of me.

>>9607398
Shit, forgot to mention it was at a gas station.

>>9607165
hey, fuck you, lots of old people probably come through that store, you almost have to scream at some of them to be heard, and it's your job as a bagger (at least where I work) to ask if they want paper or plastic and if they have any special bagging requirements and if they want help carrying their groceries out
even being loud at least 1/4 of the customers don't hear me, it's insane

>When you hear an emergency page on the overhead and instead of someone slipping and falling on something it's two gangbangers stabbing each other in an isle.

>>9607413
>When your manager is forced to give the entire department a lecture on safety because a customer let their child run into the side of a table and the incident was held against the store by corporate.
Fucking Publix.

>>9607335
Boomers need to die, it's that simple

i only go at like 3-5 am to avoid all the customers. the store is always empty and stocked and all the workers keep to themselves except this one fucking buck tooth bitch whos ALWAYS hanging around self check out. i fucking never initiate conversations with you, i actively avoid your section and whenever you goddamn speak to me the most you get in reponse is a monosyllabic grunt. im down right rude to the girl. why does she keep fucking talking to me i dont even look good. i wear earbuds now and she still tries to flag me down.

>>9607167
>People who change their minds about an item and leave it behind in an unrelated section. It's even worse when it's a perishable, like a package of ground beef abandoned in the canned foods aisle
>People who leave their coffee cups on shelves
as someone who works in a grocery store, these, but I usually just leave them because fuck it, the stockers and merchandise checkers will come by in a few hours, they'll notice it
cold stuff gets put away right away though
>Parents who can't control their dumbass children and won't make even the slightest attempt to correct their obnoxious behavior
HOW HARD IS IT TO TELL YOUR KID THEY CAN'T RIDE IN THE CART AT AGE 8, LET ALONE STAND UP IN IT?
one of these days some side-cut fucking rugrat is going to crack their skull open on the tiles and their mom will sue the store (and they won't get a fucking dime but at least half the people working the front will feel bad anyway), and if it wasn't kids doing it I would laugh, but kids are fucking stupid, that's they have to have parents
>People who tell that tired old "It must be free!" joke when an item doesn't properly scan at the register
I wish I had the leeway, just for one day, to tell them
I wouldn't even be mean about it, I'd say "sir, I hear that joke at least twice a week"

>>9607434
Give me the dick already you asshole

I'm not one to complain about employee-customer interactions, but this weirded me out in the way you realize that the situation is something you've always heard of but never experienced.
>Go to deli for sandwich meats
>Lady looks at me and lets out a loud sigh
>"Whaddaya want?"
>"Uh, can I get a pound of roast beef and a pound of pepperjack cheese?"
>Lady rolls her eyes
>whatdididowrong.jpg
>slices up stuff
>basically tosses it on a scale to check weight
>mfw 1.7 something pounds
>dafuck like hell I'm paying for that shit
>Lady pulls up everything until scale says 1.0 pounds
>Prints out price label
>Slaps extra back on
>Leaves finished package on the counter
>Doesn't even say anything before leaving
Guess it was near closing time or something. Didn't really bother me and I got extra meat out of that exchange, but it was weird seeing an employee being rude.

>>9607441
I do that too when the store is about close, I'm going to throw that shit out anyway, although I'm not so incompetent I cut almost double what the customer wanted lol. Also what you did wrong was give someone who didn't want to work something to do.

>Butcher in meat department who refuses or acts shitty about custom cuts
>Poorly managed college kids acting pouty cause they dont get off for another hour and need an adderall or something
>people who do not pre swipe their card for payment. You can swipe and enter pin well before transaction complete and most places
>places like whole foods where you feel like you need to be -->yay cool enough to purchase or discuss anything.

>places where shopping is not a pleasure. Pic related.

>>9607020
>grocery store has a bunch of autistic kids running around wanting their mom to buy them some slop
>overpriced plastic stuff to attract kiddies
>4 spanish moms, 4 dads, 20 kids, 3 cousins, and a grandpa blocking the aisle
>something is on sale but lazy employees (Cant blame) didnt take the tag off
>carts in parking lot when theres a cart coral 5 steps away
>person in front of you at checkout takes 20 years because they absolutely have to strike up a conversation about the bagging lady's kids
>boy scouts at the front door selling candy bars trying to peddle me into buying their slop
>football kids selling candy bars trying to peddle me into buying their slop
>loud baby screaming with mother who doesnt know how to shut it up and looks awkwardly at everyone around them trying to shut it up
This is why I like going to the Aldi, none of this shit happens there and it's cheaper and takes less time to go through

>>9607181
any relation to Bob Loblaw, of law blog fame?

>>9607266
Simple anon, if a person projects what they're pretending to be, in this case the old lady wants to pretend she doesn't care, so when you mirror her you're basically becoming her own personal version of an uncaring asshole

>>9607454
lmao if you knew how shitty it is to work for Publix and how they actively fuck over the retarded highschoolers that work there you'd know why everyone has an awful attitude.

>>9607434
She's bored anon, it's not beacuse she likes you. Litterly say "leave me alone please" when she doesn't tell a manager a couple times of that and she's fired

>>9607470
Good. Get rekt little shits. You get back to work. Daddy needs tendies.

>>9607473
Cringe. How's 45k a year treating you pops?

>>9607473
Don't work there anymore, so I won't be getting back to work on your tendies.

>>9607476
120k, chef @ wendy's.

>>9607252
>double bag

thank fucking god california passed a law where they have to charge for bags now.
I havent heard anyone ask for double bags all year and its fucking great.

>>9607489
>Wendy's
Ah, former felon?

>>9607493
Yeah, but you still have to live in California.

>>9607020
>Baby Boomer with a trillion coupons. Finagling over prices that don't look to add up to said coupons. Each of these little rituals take up five minutes or more.

>Then they fill out a fucking check.

And everything is done like a 'FUCK YOU, you are going to be stuck behind me in the lane of life as I coast along at 15mph'. I am so glad horrific retirement homes are waiting for these people :D

>>9607252
I'm kind of glad the plastic free bags are illegal here now because at this stageinmylife I realize I want my shitbagged a certain way. My biggest pet peeve was actually one store in particular that would literally put every single item in a different bag. Like if I bought 5 things I am not exaggerating there would be 4 bags. I asked once, and they said that people would always itch about their stuff being smushed.

>>9607167
>"Please scan item"
>"Place item in bagging area"
>"Unexpected item in bagging area"

Shopping with friends can be a hassle, too. This guy is the type of person who ain't bad to hang out with, but kind of sucks to live with.
>Fridge is empty
>Time to make grocery run
>"oh hey, I need a ride to the post office, can I come with you?"
>It's on the way, so sure, why not
>Gets in store
>"Buy snacks. Why won't you buy juice? Go get ice cream. I want a different cream cheese flavor, why won't you get one?"
>Bitch, it's called budgeting
>Get what you need, forget about the rest
>Keeps whining like a kid instead of the graduating college senior he is
>w/e just ignore him
>Get to checkout
>Bill is around $90
>Not bad for about a week of feeding four people under the same roof
>Pay it and get roommates to write check later to pay their share of groceries
>Been a while since they've paid cuz I never got around to tabulating the bill
>Three months worth of food totals $250 for each person
>Roommate sees bill
>Throws tantrum
>"Why the fuck is it so much!? Are you charging me extra?!"
>Literally have a shared google sheets with all the numbers in it
>"Whatever, you probably just suck at buying stuff! My mom only shops every two weeks and spends $70-$80 each time!"
>mfw
>listenupboi.jpg
>"So your family of four back at home spends $160 every month?"
>"Yeah, we always spend that much!"
>"So assuming a four week month, you can get by every week with $10 for food?"
>He starts hesitating
>"Whatever man, I'm not the one who gets food for my family anyway, but we totally spend that much"
>what a fucking idiot
>never takes care of anything so he has no idea of basic household skills
>"Then do you want to be the one who shops for groceries next time?"
>Starts making up excuses like having no time to go out and stuff
>Still plays some racing game in his room every night
>baka

>>9607379
Dude, sometimes literally anything you do during a tantrum only escalates the situation. I generally will take the kid outside, but sometimes, you got to let them scream for a couple minutes. I have two, and in a restaurant I will drag them outside immediately, and they know I mean business. But in Target, it's going to take me longer to get to the door than it is going to take the kid to realize they're not getting what they want and shut up.

And sometimes you're buying milk or formula, or fruit squeezes or whatever, and if you don't make it through the check-out, there's gonna be a lot more screaming.

>>9607098
1 in 100 people at most still write checks at the store

>>9607379
I did see one boss of a dad stop his daughter's tantrum instantly.

She was kicking and screaming on the floor and dad walked right over, laid down on the floor next to her and started imitating her tantrum. The kid looked over and stood up in a damned hurry.

Her whole I'm the center of attention thing was hijacked by 'See, this is what you look like!'

>>9607541
Yeah, I saw a kid with his mom picking up some pizza, and the tantrum escalation was weirdly measurable. Like, the kid was complaining about the toppings and his mom told him that they couldn't change the order, and he just kept getting more and more distressed when he realized nothing was changing. Went from whining to full crying in three minutes

>>9607522
I had someone complain because I didn't put their raw meat in the same bag as their veggies once.

>>9607167
>People who tell that tired old "It must be free!" joke when an item doesn't properly scan at the register

Holy shit this. This is what working at Hy-Vee is like if you've ever wondered.

>>9607559
There is just that age range from about one and a half until 3, sometimes 4, where for the tantrums sometimes there is LITERALLY nothing you can do to deescalate the situation. In a restaurant it's different, I yank them out the front door so fast, and they know I am not fucking around. People are enjoying their meal, no one wants to hear that. A grocery store is different, everyone needs groceries.

When I hear a baby crying I think
>oh, poor little baby
But when I hear a todidler crying, I think
>stay strong, parent!! Don't give in!! Fucking suffer, you little shit!!

>>9607118
>Safeway awarded me their special Medal of Honor
>Now they hire me for special ops duties to catch the worst shoplifters that store security can't handle
>All the checkout girls wink at me now

>>9607567
Yeah, some people are worried about cross contamination, or smell, or toxicity, and some people are worried about weight. I would always tell people to pack it into as few bags as possible because I lived on the third floor, no elevator. So yeah, I'd rather just bag it, efficiently, in reusable bags myself.

>>9607143
Your best best is to pretend you are a train and ram through saying "Chugga chugga choo choo!"

>>9607202
>>9607337
It's pretty common for my store to give produce boxes out to customers since standards dictate that we ourselves can't reuse them nor can we send them out for credit. People usually get them as an alternative to bags or in storage

>>9607167
>Cashiers who make judgmental comments about your purchases
never experienced this, only inquisitive comments

>>9607387
>how do people get shit on the bottom of the toilet seat
Fat people have gigantic asses. Trying to aim your shit as a fat is like trying to call in an airstrike. They will straight up miss the bowl and shit straight onto the seat, and smush their shit into their ass cheeks. Why do you think they smell so bad? Because at any moment there is a 50% chance they are covered in their own shit.

>>9607606
Is... is that really how it happens, anon?

>>9607513
The same boomers who will go to the mall on the fuckin weekend and treat themselves to a bubble blowing machine. Penny wise and pound foolish, can't wait til the motherfuckers all bite the dust.

>>9607167
Shit dude I totally leave stuff in unrelated areas. Never perishables though, I'm not an animal

>>9607604
I have never experienced this either, except with food once or twice "I've never tried that. Is it any good?" Or "How do you cook that?" But I am a generally chatty person, so I like when people make conversation.

>>9607615
Now you know the truth.

>>9607133
>tfw your state doesn't pay you to live there
feels bad man

Not a peeve but
>early twenties, single
>always do shopping by myself, sometimes go along with a friend so I can dick around while shopping
>always see people my age and even younger happily shopping with significant other
>turn around and see my friend walking towards me with beer for the vidya night
>contemplate life

>>9607202
Storage and moving boxes are expensive and wasteful, people often go to stores for free boxes

>>9607643
The grass is always greener. I'd much rather have a good bro that I haven't severed ties with to play vidya and drink beer with.

>>9607283
This sounds like bad UI and machine design.

>>9607340
its hard to scroll the phone screen when your arms weigh 2 lbs each

>>9607663
It could be better, but it's still so fucking simple.
>insert card
>Credit or Debit?
>debit
>Cash Back will charge you $1. Do you want Cash back?

>>9607489
is that what you do with a math degree?

>>9607202
>>9607216
I don't know what the hell you two are talking about, when I worked produce, we used to love people asking for banana boxes. You want to haul this shit so I don't have to? Be my guest. Management never had a problem with it where I worked.

>>9607496
everywhere is shit so that doesnt really matter.

>>9607441
>employee gives me 70% more deli food for free
>she wasn't all smiley and nice
>what a fucking bitch

>>9607522
haha i've seen this, at a Safeway i think, completely retarded

>>9607627
The same boomers that come into my store and tear open a box of food to eat it while they shop and then want me to throw away their trash after I scan it.

Had one lady with her fat as hell daughter, might have had two, each of them tearing open a ice cream bar.
She calls me over and hands me an open bar and tells me "I found this one open in the freezer and took a bite of it. It's no good, could you throw it away?".
The only thing that kept me from screaming was that the whole thing made me speechless.

Tard baggers. Some stores seem to hire a few mentally handicapped people to do seemingly trivial things like bagging, etc. Maybe they get some sort of tax break. These tards slow everything down, have bizarre off the cuff conversations with absolutely anyone nearby, can't bag properly, often need help, but everyone is all smiles and pretends like it isn't annoying as fuck.

This is fairly straightforward, but not having a plan of action ready by yourself at the self-checkout. Sure, employees help bag for expediency, but don't count on them--most times they are helping old ladies or the blacks with stuff. So imma break it down--

1. Reusable grocery bags; use them. come to the store ready to pack yourself and not wait on someone else to toss--what will one day become piss and turds in a toilet--into a bag for later enjoyment.

2. Before you checkout, organize your items so you can scan with the quickness. Doesn't have to be perfect, but a basic order. Bulky things together--cans, rectangular shit, lotion, TP, bottles, cat food, whatever...packaged food next--frozen food, cheese, wraps, so on.

3. Produce--last. Memorize codes to move faster. 4046, 4612, 3163...or at least write them down for later use. You can always look them up beforehand too.

Organized and ready to check out---it goes like this: scan with the quickness until bagging area looks somewhat backed up, hop over there and bag, heaviest first. It's a process--scan, bag, scan bag--even if the fucking piece of shit behind you gets annoyed--fuck them. You scan and bag. If you were behind them, there would be a mountain of shit AFTER they are done and SLLLOOOOWWWWLLLY bagging like time is actually moving backwards without them giving one single fuck. They can fuck right off. Repeat process until done; while card is processing, pack the last few items and put it in your cart. But don't move your cart--otherwise the fucking asshole behind you will try to invade your personal space. Bring it TO THE CART. Grab the receipt and wheel your ass the fuck outta there.

When I was a cashier it really bothered me when people asked for double bags when the items were really light and not pointy. i don't know why it bothered me so much

>>9607331
It's not that they don't know the date, it's that she's writing a fucking check.
If you've never had to deal with one, they're a goddamn hassle.

>>9607719
>boo hoo why can't other people do my job for me?

Where I cashier I usually get a lot of plants and other shit that dirties up my belt, nobody minds it, it's expected. I try to keep it clean as best as I can, but then.
>Finish a customers order, belt loops around and hides the streak of mud and dirt.
>Move the belt so I can get to it, just in time for a customer who has walked across the entire store to reach my check stand with nothing but unbagged groceries.
>"OMG do you never clean your registers over here or something!"
>"You know how many chemicals and blah blah blah."
>Try to apologize to the now irate hipster looking fuck with their only organic produce so you better ring them up like that so you know I am only buying organic, and I want them bagged in my hemp bags made out of unicorn farts that can't stand upright.
>All the while they are reaming me about how I am handling said produce, how they see some dirt somewhere, how I probably never wash.
>Get called a wage slave a few times.
>Complains to the manager.
>Get written up for it, told how I could have dealt with the customer better, they don't want another complaint coming from my till, etc.

>>9607381
>the level of cross contamination in a deli

Jesus fuck it's unbelievable.

Oh boy, I got a story for you guys
>16 back in 2012 or so
>Mom has Diverticulitis (if you've never had this it's painful as fuck)
>We're out of diet cokes which she and I kike to drink. She waits in the car and I go get em just cause I don't want her to strain herself.
>Woman in the soda awhile yelling at some employee about not having Sprite or Fanta or something
>Grab a 12 pack of Diet Coke
>Woman sees me
>Starts going off about how Diet Soda us worse for you than regular.
>Simply say okay
>This fucking bitch starts following me through the store for some reason.
>Get to checkout
>She's behind me and at the near top of her lungs shouts at the employee to not let me buy the diet coke
>Employee says that I can buy it no problem.
> Woman has an absolute freak out with people staring at her
>Tells me I deserve to have Kidney cancer before she simply walks away.
Fuck. Even 5 years later it's still weird to think about.

>>9607750
f-for example?

>>9607734
You must be the incompetent asshole behind me. I was LITERALLY laying out how to be most efficient on your own. I don't want others bagging my shit and I want to be in and out quick as fuck. Sober up, ya prick!

>>9607713
>>>9607132
It really isn't annoying as fuck. Maybe your autistic ass could learn a little empathy.

>>9607554
that dad sounds pretty cool

>>9607754
I have a good track record setting people like that off the loose end by trolling them a little harder than I should. So fun. Fuck people like that.

>>9607772
Why not have retards work at all customer service jobs? Have some empathy anon

>>9607340
Really? I'm a phone poster but "reddit spacing" never bothers me.
In fact, it makes large paragraphs easier to read.

>>9607020
when a group spreads out and blocks an entire aisle

People that don't put their carts away.
Sometimes I get it, you're old as fuck and you've got cancer and you can't shove it home, but you could at least point it in the right direction so the next person can.
But no, you want to turn the goddamn thing sideways so that none of them will line up and everyone else decides that if that person got away with it, it must be fine and they block the entire fucking front of the store with their spread out carts.

>>9607539
Why don't you buy just your own food?

People taking forever to leave an aisle so I can safely stuff groceries into my bag.

>>9607782
Stop moving the goalpost. We are talking about one or two at a store, not the entire department. If you can't stay on topic, maybe you should go back to your middle school homework.

>>9607813
Have some empathy for middle schoolers. You were one once, no?

>>9607643
You have no idea how much I miss vidya nights with my cousin.

>>9607141

Honestly, I'm 28 and with a full beard, and Americans still insist on ID'ing me. Jesus Christ, didn't realise were still in Prohibition.

>>9607020
when people put there fucking cart in the middle of the aisle
80% of the time it's some senile boomer woman

>>9607551

Even if you pay with a debit card, rather than checks, you should still keep track of your payments in a transaction register, which means writing shit down after a payment.

>>9607852
its the law, they have to ID everyone now in many states

>>9607820
I...can't even... what?

>>9607858

Yeah, I figured as much. Once you become a regular, they don't bother.

>>9607643
BROJOB WOO WOO

>>9607868
Only at smaller places.
I haven't been carded at my gas station for years, but every time at my grocery store.

black cashiers and baggers touching my groceries

>>9607852
The rule is "If they look under 30 you need to ID them". Lotta high school kids are able to grow out beards and shit easy, especially those middle eastern guys that are bordering on furfag levels of fur.

>>9607236
Some people struggle with hand coordination. Pls no bully :(

>>9607921
Most of them are people who put the cup in the kids seat of the cart and tip the thing over with their purse.

>>9607920
Worked as a cashier in grocery in a college town as a college grad, guy said he didn't have his ID, sold him the beer anyway. no fucks given

>"But if I leave the shopping cart just randomly about in the middle of the lot instead of taking it LITERALLY 20ft to the nearest cart rack, I'm creating jobs so that the kid who rounds them up has something to do!"

IF I EVER SEE ONE OF YOU NIGGERS DO THIS I WILL PERSONALLY WALK TO YOUR CAR AND SLASH YOUR GODDAMN TIRES YOU LAZY SACK OF FILTH
YOU'RE GOD DAMN FUCKING RIGHT I'M MAD

Minorities in Whole Foods

>>9607604
>only inquisitive comments

Trader Joe's is the worst.

>buy toothpaste and frozen peppers
>"Hmmm... that's certainly an interesting purchase. What are you making?"

>>9607984
>"A large zucchini and some Vaseline...what dish are you making?"

>>9607615
>>9607606
People with IBS or other fun digestive "sensitivities" who aren't necessarily fat can also have back-blast where it's like a shotgun of liquid that hits the water, ricochets off, coats the damned seat too. You would be AMAZED how physics works with assmud and force behind it.

Not grocery store related, but need to vent. I work at a bar that is known for our food and we have a decent sized menu.

I hate when I get dumb questions that can easily be answered by the customer if they had half a brain and were observant.

>What are the specials today?
You literally walked past a big board that shows all of our specials to get to your seat.
>What are your soups?
You literally are sitting in front of the board that lists our soups.
>How much is a hamburger?
Its on the menu you are fucking holding.
>Can you make my steak medium rare, but I dont want too much pink in the middle.
Thats nit medium rare then you fucking dumbass, thats medium/medium well.
>People will sit at a table instead of the bar so they can be waited on hand and foot.
Fuck off. This is a bar. If you want a refill on your drinks, walk 5 feet to the bar and get your refill. If you wave at me im just going to wave back. I dont mind waiting on people, but when the bar is full and there is 50 other people there and only 2 bartenders and a cook, i can easily sell 5 drinks before it takes the time to walk out there, grab your glass fill it up, and bring it back.

I had a "ritzy" white woman that is always a cunt complain to me because I waited on people at the bar that showed up after her and the family. I lied to her and said "I was instructed by my boss to give people at the bar priority." She complained, but now every time she shows up she looks for seats at the bar first.

The retardedness is endless, but of course I have to be polite because I work in the service industry. Just wish I could find a shirt that says "If you ask stupid questions, im obliged to give stupid answers."

>>9607160
Lmao. Bag your own shit amerilard.

>>9607216
>>9607687
Banana boxes are the frugal man's moving boxes.

Ain't nobody got time and money to go to a one of those hardware/construction stores and pay like 5 bucks for a box.

>>9607276
So, what is the commonly accepted procedure? Do you put down the divider in front of your items or after?

I usually have to put down both, but it is not like it is annoying.
I am just curious about it.

When the register is not busy and there re long empty spaces on the belt, at what distance between piles of items is it considered acceptable to not put down a divider?

>>9608173
>Banana boxes are the frugal man's moving boxes.
leaving boxes out for customers = genius

i don't see many people at aldi buying their reusable bags lol

>>9607167
>People who talk to you for no fucking reason. You're not an employee, you don't know the person, you just want to shop in peace

Its really sad how antisocial society has become.

>>9607144
here the cashier operates the second belt, and I just wait for them to scan everything, then pay and go to pack my stuff. You only start to pack before paying if you have a lot of stuff

>>9608055
>You literally walked past a big board that shows all of our specials to get to your seat

If you get this a lot, then ask your manager to do something to make the board stand out more. I got chewed out for asking what the special is because i couldnt see the dull chalk blackboard on the black wall in the dim bar.

>>9607167
>People who change their minds about an item and leave it behind in an unrelated section
My girlfriend does this all the time even though I've told her not to. She says she doesn't care and the workers get paid to deal with it anyways so it's no big deal.

>>9608433
It's one thing when it's canned food or something else dry, but fuckers leaving out raw meat and frozen food on random shelves deserve to be banned from the store

>park underground at shop rite bc more parking and take the elevator up
>as soon as I get off this old lady stops immediately in front of me with no room to go around so she can stare at coupons for 10 minutes

>>9607470

>CSfag
>Managers are chronically tight-fisted about hours
>This pisses of the actual GOOD people and they end up changing departments
>Mfw the front end is now nothing but the lazy folks, old people, invalids, and the two or three schmucks that are forced to carry them

>>9607020
>be me
>first week working at a groccery store called stew leonards
>almost closing time
>disheveled crazy man walks up to my till with his arms full of fruit
>puts it down and walks away without a word
>call supervisor because im new and an idiot
"uuuuh this fruit isnt even from here"
>motherfucker picked up a bunch of fruit from whole foods and walked two miles to our store
i got some other good ones, worked there for two years.

>>9608504
>motherfucker picked up a bunch of fruit from whole foods and walked two miles to our store
did they hire him? why pay a supplier with refrigerated trucks and other bullshit when you can have that guy?

>>9607169
>clear hostile intent
You have autism AND schizophrenia

>All pathetic single men. Only cash, no chit-chat.

>the employee that has a crush on you on and somehow needs to do something in the aisle you're in

>>9608531
Do you prefer married men who use food stamps?

>be me
>spent 4 years on an aircraft carrier, 2 years total out to sea
>I fucking KNOW it's possible for traffic to reliably flow in 2 directions through a confined space
>these aisles are a LOT fucking wider than those goddamned passageways ever were
>you can push 3 carts through, line abreast, easily
>people just don't get the fucking concept that other people have a right to walk down the aisle
>therefore, you have an obligation not to block people if you don't have to
>grinding my fucking teeth one day, stuck behind 2 oblivious middle aged women
>I just want to leave the aisle, but they've both decided they need items from opposite sides of the aisle
>the two have parked their carts next to each other, in the middle of the aisle, so there's no way around
>people piling up behind me, no way back
>bitch finally decides on some fucking beans and GTFO of the way
>wife is watching me grind my teeth; rolls her eyes
>I go off on a rant about how every fucking time I just want to walk 12 goddamned feet in a row without interruption,
>there's always some bubbleheaded middle-aged dipshit who's turned their cart 90° to the aisle, and is standing in front of it, with 3 equal spaces
>between themselves and the edge of the aisle,
>between themselves and their cart,
>and between their cart and the edge of the aisle
>in such a way, one self important entitled cocksucker in yoga pants manages to block the entire fucking aisle!
>wife rolls her eyes
>enter next aisle
>middle-aged blonde blocking the aisle, exactly as described above (except for the yoga pants)
>wife almost fell over laughing at the look on my face


>>9607434
Because it's 3-5 AM, she's bored, and she LOVES giving people shit for her own amusement. She has realized nothing pisses people off more at 3 AM than "giving good customer service," and she's laughing her ass off after, because she's a miserable, hate filled person (due to working at a grocery store at 3 AM), and she delights in spreading pain to others.

>>9607857

this guy doesn't know how mobile banking works

>be me
>glorious Bank of America customer
>go to grocery store
>buy goods
>"hmm, i wonder how much I spent"
>open BofA Mobile Banking App
>check all of my account balances instantly thanks to fingerprint I.D. scanning
>"oh, that's how much I spent"

>>9608178
After because the previous customer would have already put one down. dumbfuck

>>9608676
>Leave the store like a retard not knowing how much I spent
>Feel clever because of my $100 a month cell phone ap

Have millennials not heard of receipts or paying attention before you pay?

I mainly hate old people and overweight people when it comes to grocery store shopping. They are just so retarded and inefficient that it sometimes makes me wonder how much better off the rest of society would be if these people were just dead instead.

>>9607090
That's when you should make yourself a part of the conversation.

>>9608676
You're missing the point. Automatic systems are not infalliable. The reason why you keep a register is not because you "wonder how much you spent"--after all, that's obvious from your receipt or the total on the screen before you paid. The reason is to have a second, independent, means of verifying your budget. You use it to check the statement on your online banking to make sure it's correct.

>Be me
>dont know how to do fancy green text unless this works
>Be working in local grocery store
>Someone put like 20 things from all different aisles in soup section
>Spend a good 20 minutes figuring out where the hell these things all go and put them back

Fuck those assholes that put things in random ass places

>>9607455
fuck aldi and there stupid skinny aisles. getting stuck behind some slow faggot for more than 10 seconds puts me in an autistic rage.

>>9607541
Wild idea. Don't take your shitty kids to places until they stop doing shit like that. Not hard. Leave them with your 'other' and run errands without your crotch spawn in tow.

>>9607532
this.. ive taken a burrito back out of the bag and chucked it across the store. fuck you beaner ass bean burrito

Every fucker who leaves their cart somewhere random, bonus points for it they leave it by the fucking cart return. The fact that people also can't grasp the idea of small carts on one side and large carts on the other baffles me too.

>>9607852
I'm almost 22 but look 16 and the corner store down the street has stopped ID'ing me when I get beer or whatever because it's owner operated and the guy knows me, my mom and most other people that come in regularly. I wonder if that's technically illegal even though he knows for a fact I'm over 21

>>9608504
I'm actually laughing. Some men just want to watch the world burn

>>9608754
Lurk more

This is from a gas station, deli and pizza shop
>People who walk past 3 signs saying I am going to have to scan your ID, 4 signs if they are buying beer, and getting angry when I ask for their ID
>People asking for loosies
>Children asking me and other workers for spare change
>Parents try to buy a bunch of shit on ebt, their card has no money, then they wave their kids at me (literally holding a baby over the counter) telling me their children will starve
>Gambling addicts taking up a lane to play $600 worth of lottery tickets and recycle their winnings into more lotto tickets. Every saturday night there. 4-5 of them
>People who are actually illiterate but will argue about decade old policies because the color of a sign has changed
>that smug middle aged man who feels proud of himself whenever he got the manager to take a dime off the price of a morning paper. We found out he was taking the price label off after a few weeks
>Crying women
>People who want us to make an exception to a policy because they are old or illiterate
>middle aged "I want to see a manager" haircuts who will do absolutely everything and anything they can to trip you up so they can bitch to a manager for free things
>People that are clearly trying to scam for free shit but being terrible at it, phone cards are the most popular for this
>people that order a pizza, we tell them it is pick up only, they acknowledge it is pickup only, we tell them it will be ready in 30 minutes, they dont show up for 3 hours and want it to be free because it isnt fresh.
I can go on for hours.

>be me, wagealave at grocery store
>collecting carts
>see man and woman arguing outside
>whatever aint my business
>women tries to walk away, man blocks her patg
>ohshit
>literally start wrestling in front of the store, this bigger 30something woman and a bigger 50something dude
>walk up shouting what the fuck is going on
>as the guy has this woman basically in a headlock make out something about her shoplifting and the guy is loss prevention
>ask to see his badge like an autist because this situation was weird as fuck
>with one hand wrestling this woman still he pulls out a badge
>asks me to help subdue her
>fuck no I'm not getting sued
>go inside and tell manager who has me call the cops

>>9607131
For you

>two giga nigresses and their spawn come into store
>fill cart with shrimp, steak, and a whole host of expensive, yet processed convenience foods
>get to register, takes cashier girl almost 20 minutes to sort, scan and bag all that shit
>each nigress uses food stamp card, exhausts the first card, probably the second card too
i don't understand this behavior, do they sell it to their nig friends for cash?

>>9607273
it's my freedom of speech to type however I want you fucking piece of shit.

>>9607434
she wants the d you dog you

>>9607643
you are in a gay relationship with your friend but you don't know it yet

>>9608735
and if it's wrong, you what. you call up your bank and tell them that handwritten notebook you totally didn't just write whatever you wanted in, backed up all the accurate mental math your early-onset-senility boomer ass can muster while giving the cashier the kind of deep eye gaze only otherwise seen in Lifetime specials and homoerotic Chinese martial arts movies, is definitely the true record of what you spent and they should just adjust your account to that?

>>9608890
>do they sell it to their nig friends for cash?
Yes.
Among the nig community prepackaged brand name foods, diapers, baby formula, and laundry detergent might as well be currency. They're well known products in high demand so it's easy to sell or trade them.

>>9608858

I don't know how they're open but there's a liquor store in Harvard Square that NEVER IDs. I'm 21 tho, so it doesn't matter anymore

>>9607020
People who take an item knowing full well what the price is before they put it in their cart, bring it to the register at checkout, and proceed to bitch about said price until the cashier caves or calls over a manager (who then undermines the cashier) to get that price reduced on the item just to placate the entitled screeching.
My first real job was being a cashier at a chain grocery and I remember this scenario a lot.

One time an elderly woman was taking what appeared to be her middle-aged tard son on a grocery spree and I saw this type of situation play out (at someone else's register thankfully).
We had some kind of cookie sale on specific brands of packaged cookies. Well, tard wrangler and tardman decided they could get away with a blatantly wrong package of cookies for the same sale price. Of course they were told at the register at they did not in fact have the right brand of cookies to qualify for the sale.
So what should have been a 5 minute transaction turning into a 20 minute standoff. Tardman was getting visibly pissed about his wrangler not wanting to buy his cookies full price, and at the cashier for not giving tard wrangler what she asked.

Finally, the cashier manager came over to inform the tard wrangler he wasn't budging about reducing the price as the sale and qualifying items were clearly laid out. This was probably the only instance I've ever seen a manager stick to their guns about enforcing prices aside from WIC checks. I think the manager just had enough of people's shit that day.
Was tardman ever pissed!
He proceeded to take the package of cookies and twist and mash them violently in the face of the manager, and slammed the disfigured packages of noshed cooks on the register. Tard wrangler hollered at him to stop, which he did, but not before the manager yelled about how he was banned from the store.
At this point about ~40 odd customers are watching this go down. Tardman rages towards the exit, and tard wrangler finally pays.

>>9607713
Lol bag your own shit then you lazy fuck. We all know you aren't doing anything in the interim besides shoving your thumb up your ass while you browse your 20 friend facebook.

People that leave their carts in the middle of the fucking parking lot

People are so fucking lazy, it's unbelievable

1) fuckwits who get distracted by their phone and just stand there in the middle of an isle and are completely obvious to the fact that they're blocking access for other people. Leave your phone toy in the car. You can survive without it while you're shopping.

2)Parents with multiple unruly children running all over the place.

3)Employees who have no idea what their store actually carries. If I'm asking for help finding something it's because I already looked for it myself and couldn't find it. I'm not asking you, the employee, to help me browse a shelf. I'm asking you to look back at your experience and tell me where the product is. If you don't know where it is either, then tell me so so I can find someone who actually knows.

4)People who pay with checks but don't have the common decency to fill out most of the check while they're still waiting in line.

5) People who don't help bag their own groceries. That shit just wastes everyone's time, including their own.

>store gets new carts
>they are lightweight and fun to play around with
>doing all kinds of kiddie stuff, wheelies, drifting, etc through the store
>laughing and enjoying myself, being a nuisance but who cares
>pushing the cart on its two left wheels
>get disapproving stare from old guy
>say I think there is something wrong with my cart and push past him
>he smiles but quickly hides it
>in the parking lot I see him doing it too before he puts the cart back in the corral
Good times.

>>9607135
maybe if you didn't mumble 'excuse me' under your breath like the beat cuck you are, and then push past them like a retard, they would have moved and you wouldn't be the asshole in this situation

>>9608858
its not illegal to ask or not ask for ID, its illegal to sell to underage that's it.
the asking of the ID is only to protect the business, cause underage fags try to buy shit they aren't old enough to buy

>>9607144
>>9607160
the stores near me started doing this too. only cashier at the line and no one comes to bag the groceries
I just stand there while my things are scanned, and after I pay I look at the cashier until they finally realize I'm not going to do their job for them
i don't get a paycheck from them, its not my responsibility

>>9609190
>its not my responsibility
Correct.

But, it saves everyone time--including your time--if you bag while the cashier stands. Why would you want to stand there doing nothing when you could be out of the door faster by bagging?

>>9607312
i'm in the south and we don't call them buggies
buggy is a brit thing, cart is an american thing

>>9607169
jesus, this generation's kids crack under ASSUMED social pressures

>People who still use checks
>People who try and use a dozen coupons that they didnt even have prepared at checkout
>Old ladies who dig for exact change down to the penny for literal minutes because they think its a sin to get change back
>People who have conversations in the middle of aisles instead of at least moving to the side, and then they get offended when you say excuse me
>People who don't control their kids and they run around the store grabbing candy, hiding it in places and throwing it

>groups of children who don't move the fuck out of the way when an adult is walking by
It's always fucking Mexicans too. I've never seen any other people take a pack of angry rude little rat children everywhere they go and bother everyone they encounter. Mexican women in general are rude as fuck but that's easier to avoid.

>>9608245
You can be social but still hate small talk. I talk to people constantly throughout the day, but I'm not interested in 1-2 sentence conversations with someone ill probably never see again in my life. Thats not what the word means anon.

>>9608650
there is absolutely not enough room to fit three abreast in any grocery store I've been to.

>>9609567
I guess it depends on the country/location.

I've never been in a US supermarket where you couldn't fit 3 abreast, if not more, down a normal isle.

>>9608650
>aircraft carrier
Spent two years on a cruiser and few months on a destroyer, myself.

Even on smallboys you can work two shopping carts of length between people on narrow pways. Hell, if you can make it through Engineering you can make it anywhere.

>>9608055
>"I was instructed by my boss to give people at the bar priority."
For a place like that, that policy would actually be a good idea. That bar is raking way more cash than those tables are anyways.

It pisses me off whenever the cart guy gets mad if I leave my cart by the car. There have been numerous times when I have done this, and before I even drive off, the annoyedly walk over and take the cart back to the cart holder thing. It is their job.. why they get mad about their own job is beyond me. If they don’t like it, they could find a new one. Just don’t take it out on the customer.

>>9607335

she wanted your young D

>>9607144
>he doesn't have a Publix where cute girls bag your groceries for you and while paying you pull your credit card out too soon and she says "you're not in a rush to leave me are you" and leave spaghetti everywhere

>>9608777
holy chek'd and kek'd

>>9607098
Oh fuck me this happened recently
> tell checkers open at grocery store
> pick random one
> big mistake, lady there getting $200 worth of groceries
> her card gets declined
> tries another card
> declined
> writes a check
>declined as well (system can automatically read checks)
> runs back to her car and like for another card while her ice cream melts
> finally comes back with a card that doesn't get declined
> tellers face when

>>9607789
PHONEPOSTERS GET OUT

>>9609635
>he calls cashiers "tellers"

>>9609642
No, I dont shitpost , I usually just quietly lurk while I'm at work.

>>9607118
Nowadays they're untouchable at all times

>>9607020
One time an employee got upset at me for intentionally taking bread from the back of the rack (with a further away expiry date).

"REEEEEEEEEE THANKS TO YOU WE'LL HAVE TO THROW THESE ONES OUT!"

Not my problem bitch. Keep the other ones off the sales floor if you don't want to sell them.

>>9608328
Its not a chalkboard, its a bright neon sign with catchy eye colors thatare easy to read. It has the specials for every day of the week. The only thing I would ask my boss to do is move it closer to the front door, but its nearly impossible to miss. Especially if customers go and ait at a table, they have to walk by the specials and our soup board. There is no excuse other than being a fucking idiot for not being observant enough to read a big neon board that you walk by.

>>9607733
I write checks all the time.

The biggest issue here is that she doesn't just hand over the check. Pretty much every machine in any store voids the check anyway; filling it out just wastes time

>>9607090
this fella watched one too many Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes

>>9609158
that is absolutely not true. If you don't ID everyone you could get raped by the police

>>9609569
and I'm from the U.S. and have never ever seen this

>>9609729
Cite the specific law then. I challenge you.

It is certainly illegal to sell or serve alcohol to someone who is underage. But there is no legal requirement to actually check ID.

>>9609060
>isle

it's aisle anon. unless you're talking about islands..

>>9609569
>>9609567
Well, for example, the Market Basket chain in the Northeastern US is sufficiently wide.

>those people who leave their carts in the middle of the aisle while they browse the shelves
>those people who stand around talking and block the entire way through
>those people who push their way through to the deli and interrupt when you are putting your order in, forcing themselves to be first
>those people who leave shit they don't want anymore in random aisles, or throw random shit behind boxes (I once saw a fucking cheeseburger behind boxes of pasta)
>those people who expect you to get out of their way
>those people who try to reach shit they obviously can't, and then act like you are required to help them regardless of if you work there or not

Last time I went shopping, which was yesterday, there was a group of like 8 high level employees (managers and such wear black, the rest wear red) in the freezer aisle just standing around talking. They blocked the entire 30 feet of space, and had this face of utter disbelief when someone went past.

>>9609060
>5) People who don't help bag their own groceries.
I know what you mean. When I worked at Subway I would get PISSED when the customer wouldn't jump behind the counter and help me make their sandwich

>>9609762
In TN it damn sure is a law.

http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2014/jul/29/no-id-no-liquor-and-wrinkles-dont-count-universal-/263003/

>>9609843
>people who don't bag their own groceries
is cashiers bagging groceries for you a erou thing? all my life at any grocery store I always bagged my own shit, how hard can it be, seriously

>>9609871
You live in California. You probably choose paper or bring your own fucking bags.

In civilized areas, such as the Northeast and Northwest, employees are required to man an empty bagging area unless the customer has less than 10 items.

>>9609871
Depends on the store. Some stores get teenagers and literal retards to do it for you to speed the process up especially on a Friday or Saturday.

If you go to lower end stores they usually won't hire these people because they can't afford to do it and keep the price of goods down at the same time.

>>9609879
I've worked at a grocery store and that's not at all how it works. Typically in busy hours there will be 4 or 5 registers open, and 3 or 4 baggers present. Baggers are supposed to switch between registers during payment/loading etc. to bag as many groceries as possible

>>9609879
no. Midwest, the store has free paper or plastic, your choice as you bag your own. only place I know they bag for you is hyvee

>>9607108
>people
>welfare
Pick one.

>>9609893
I've worked in three, including one managerial position at the regional chain, and that is absolutely how it works. Employees are encouraged (read as required) to man an empty bagging station if one lane has someone with more items than another.

>>9609908
>free
I was under the impression (read as I know for a fact) that literally all bags are free unless the store or chain is Trader Joe tier.

>>9609871
It's not.

t. Swede

>>9609917
aldi is another you have to buy bags unless you bring your own.

>>9609936
I am not surprised.

>>9609908
Several stores bag for you in the midwest, I literally worked as a bagger when I was 15 at Kroger's.

>>9609908

I'm in the midwest and the only times I've had to bag my own groceries is when I use self checkout.

>customer asks where item is located
>show them
>they don't tip me

People who want a tax exempt on even the smallest purchase.

>Customer buys a bunch of shit, some of it is taxed, no big deal, fill out the paperwork, ID, etc.
>Comes back when the store is busy as fuck, missing one single birthday card.
>Ten cents in sales tax.
>"I need that tax exempt too."
>Now have a massive line because this cunt drove over 50 miles into another state to save ten cents.

>Another day.
>Customer shows state ID for tax exempt.
>Address is set for their home address, which is in state.
>They try to argue that the PO box is in another state, and they get tax exempt.
>lolno.
>Demands to see manager, they are going to have my job, etc.
>Manager comes over.
>Customer is gloating at me about how fucked I am, must have never worked retail before.
>"Actually ma'am, he has been doing this for over 11 years, and your ID technically does not qualify you for a tax exemption, you live in this state."
>She begins to scream about how she will never shop at our store again, etc.
>"Looking forward to that ma'am."

>>9607381
>Ingles
Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time, my west NC friend. Now I'm glad momma never bought anything at the deli
Personal pet peeve:
>Cashiers that loudly attempt to pronounce anything foreign and comment on it
>Omg this looks so weird haha
>Boomers that bring much more than 12 items through express

>>9610093
I hate tax exemptions too, I work in a restaurant and have had bitches try to tax exempt a 90 cent can of Coke. Or the ones that try to get a tax exemption using their photo ID from City Hall. Bitch, do you know how careful we have to be to not get audited and all the paperwork we have to do?

>>9609635
I worked in retail, where a good number of our customers were either homeless, or close to being so. I had to deal with declined cards probably 5-10 times a day on an 8-hour shift. Never really bothered me, Just meant I got to sit around a bit more, or go fuck off and clean something while they looked for money.

>>9610261
Also, to clarify it was a cyber cafe where you bought hours on the pc using an account system, so not like they could have stolen stuff they couldn't pay for.

>>9609210
I'm from the Gulf Coast, and while literally everyone here knows what a "shopping cart" is and won't bat an eye if you use that, the vast majority of the time people refer to them as "buggies".

It's weird, I usually encounter northeastern US folk being prejudice against southeastern US folk over the way we talk. Maybe it's just something I notice.

>>9609210
Texas here. Everyone I know tends to say buggy some of the time.

People that don't know how to use the self scan and take like 20 minutes to ring everything up and have to ask the attendant for help like 3 times for their 12 items or less.

>>9608700
It could work the same way, if everyone, except the first customer in any given line, would put it in front of his items. Either way works the same, as long as everyone agrees on the procedure.

Of course putting down the divider behind your items has the added benefit of you signaling when your items are placed, and the next in line can start putting their items on.

>>9610299
Also Texas here. Literally never heard someone call it a buggy except relatives from Ohio.

>>9610235
The only tax exempt people I love to see are the people who sell online. Because the boss and I know they are going to buy thousands in toys and it's usually shit we don't sell on this side of the states.
It gets to a point where we see them come in and ask if they want more carts on standby for them.

>go shopping on the walk home from work every friday
>stop at 3 stores on the way, one is 30 minutes east of work, and I have to walk back 1 hour in the other direction stopping at 3 others
>by the time I reach the 3rd I am usually quite sweaty due to my weight
>the 3rd is also the only one without a self checkout
>the staff there have started to notice that I often smell
>will make jokes and make fun of me, without my consent
>they call me 'stinky clinky' because the canned food from the other stores makes a clinking sound in my backpack
>have asked them to stop before and even sent an email to the regional management of the store but nobody responds
>they think they are just joking but it hurts my feelings
>have started filling my backpack with bubble wrap to try and lessen the clinking noise
>they saw the bubble wrap when I opened my backpack to put in some lentils
>now they call me 'poppy blobby'
>always make joke about my scent to the othe customers
>have literally been approached in the street by a regular customer there who was an old lady and thanked me for making clinking noises because it lets her know she can still hear in her old age
>thanked her for that

>>9607410
>people don't understand and try to ignore the autistic screeching of the handi-capable cart/bag boy.
>while paying they screech louder and it's all one can do to bag their groceries and leave as soon as possible.

you know those people who put gatorades or drinks on the edges of their cart so they hang off?

yeah fuck those people

>>9609588
4 years on a submarine, 2 out to sea.
There is always room to squeeze.
I swear to Jesus Christ, our lord and savior if you drop that fucking can of tuna kid I'm going to post you in your fucking rack every night this goddamned deployment.

>>9607513
Horrific retirement homes are waiting for you too.

>>9608724
Where in the fuck do you live that an app is 100/month

>>9609202
>Why would you want to stand there doing nothing when you could be out of the door faster by bagging?

You should be watching the register to make sure items aren't scanned multiple times.

Midweek grocery shopping is super comfy. Boomers definitely need to be shot though.

>>9610410
>wah, my ""'"""'OCD""""" gets triggered by this even though it doesn't affect me in the slightest!

kek

>>9610261
>a good number of our customers were either homeless, or close to being so.
ahahahahaha reminds me of a time i saw someone actually get tossed out because this dirty, unwashed man produced a fan of credit cards after his first two were declined

they just told him to give up and leave. he looked mad for a second but then left without a fuss

im guessing hes a mugger and they were all canceled cards

>>9607020
When mothers refuse to control their children, and they start making a mess or disturbing the other customers.

>>9609129
>not yelling "HEY, LOOK AT THAT! IT'S THE FOOD I NEED" and walking in between them

>>9610537
the chad customer

>>9610317
quite simply stop giving them money if they don't appreciate your presence

The worst thing about UK supermarkets is the bagging, you are better off using self serve to steal the bags if they have one (My nearest LIDL doesn't).

>Only bags available are 10-20p instead of 5p
>They rush you to put things in your selective amount of bags or just stand like robots until you're done bagging
>Just throw groceries at you, don't even stand them up right

Even the self-serve glitches up whenever something is slightly outside of the "bagging area", even though you already scanned the barcode

Makes me jealous America have actual baggers employed.

>>9607454
>people who do not pre swipe their card for payment
The only reason I can see as to not doing this is so they can whine if the price isn't exactly what they want it to be.

>>9607454
>people who do not pre swipe their card for payment. You can swipe and enter pin well before transaction complete and most places
I honestly didn't even know you could.

>>9607020

the entire experience

These people:

>"Why does X cost more here? I can go to Y store and get it for cheaper."
Then why the FUCK are you in my store?

>>9609129
maybe if cuck meme waaah waah meme, you wouldnt be a whitey cuckboi

as a customer and a cashier when someone is on the phone at the register

>>9607758
Thats why men dont like you and only pretend to.

Children

I work in produce as me anything

>>9610694
h-hey bro i was wondering where the uhh bananas are

>>9610719
I'm sorry we are out of Bananas until Sunday

>>9610722
oh that's okay then see you on sunday haha

>>9610731
I can't wait for the next 40 people to ask me the same question because my manager refuses to put out signs because it looks unprofessional

>>9608890

The more intelligent ebt negroids only buy red bull and those cans of starbucks coffee drinks so they can sell them for 50% face value cash.

Usually in the darker parts of town a couple days after welfare gets debited you can go to any walmart and if you see a nigger hanging out kinda close to the parking lot entrance in a truck or van you can make a deal. I have seen pajeets make bulk buys for 35% face from these guys so they can stock their convenience stores.

>>9607866
brainlet, keep up with the bants or get off the ride

>>9607202

I never thought it was a big deal. Our backroom at my store was small so I instructed the stockers to break down boxes as they went and yo regularly crush and bale boxes. But if a customer needed some it wasn't a big problem to throw some of the nicer ones on a pallet for a while.

That said if they came in out of the blue we probably didn't have any, so I always told customers to call ahead.

They couldn't have banana boxes because they were saved for shrink or something, I don't even remember.

>>9610675
not him but, what is why? What subject are you referencing

This didn't really agitate me that much, but back when I was on the night shift at work, i used to see people with their children at walmart after midnight. (yeah, yeah, babysitters and all that.) but only the babies fussed the most as far as i remember. But i don't miss it.

What got me more was that only two lanes were open, with non of the self checkout lanes open.

>>9610282
>It's weird, I usually encounter northeastern US folk being prejudice against southeastern US folk over the way we talk.
It's because it's slower than the way we talk, you southerners do everything slower than we do, especially driving. You people are just slow.

>>9607678

Where the fuck is cash back a $1 charge? It's always complimentary here, although I used to tell niggers they had to buy something even though they really didn't, since they were the only people who tried to use it as an ATM.

Also,

People who try to cash payroll checks at the grocery store. What the actual fuck.

>>9610790
>northerners driving
>what the fuck do you mean you're driving "15 over the limit?" What the fuck is a "speed limit?"
>Couldn't that asshole see that I had AT LEAST 3 inches of extra space to squeeze my car between him and the car in front of him? Some people just can't drive, I swear.
>"Blinkers?" Now I know you're just making things up.

I thank God every day that I don't live in my hometown anymore. You snowbirds are literally trying to kill people on the road. I've felt safer on fucking Houston freeways than I have surrounded by New York plates.

>>9610806
New York doesn't count as the northeast.

t. New Englander.

But I can say without a doubt that 60 in a 50 is absolutely normal. People use turn signals though, and the only assholes who don't and/or cut people off are from outside New England.

I swear to fucking god, the amount of out of staters who have given me a heart attack on the road vastly outweighs the amount of bears or deer.

>>9610806
My man I am a Masshole and you would not believe our drivers. The picosecond a light turns green you will get honked at, you will get honked at for leaving too much space for the car in front of you, the concept of a traffic circle or "roundabout" is foreign to these people as no one knows how to yield or merge, if it rains or snows everyone instantly forgets how to drive, and god help you if you're a pedestrian, the "right of way" is laughed at.

>>9607098
check writers in general piss me off, fucking boomers

>>9610562
he is going to have to stop giving a lot of people money leemowe

>>9610617

>having to pay for your grocery bags
I hope you're paying for reusable bags and not the usual shitty paper/plastic grocery bags we use. If not that's incredibly shitty.

>work at a store stocking shelves
>someome asks me "excuse me where's the chips?"
>"that's in isle 7"
>"which way is that?"
Just look at the big fucking isle numbers you dumb cunt.

Also when customers leave shit where it clearly isn't supposed to be. If you decide you don't want your VOSS water put it back where it fucking belongs, instead of just dumping it 4 isles away.

>>9610829
>if it rains or snows everyone instantly forgets how to drive
I fucking hate these people. I can understand southerners reacting like that, but for fucks sake this is the north. It's half our identity.
>god help you if you're a pedestrian, the "right of way" is laughed at
Can't attest to this. It is literally illegal not to stop at a crosswalk if pedestrians are crossing.

>>9607133
I stay out of everywhere 10days before and 12 after myself desu

Here's something that happened to me as a grocery store bakery worker.
There was an unenthused kinda elderly looking guy standing around so I asked him if he needed help looking for anything, he rolled his eyes and pointed at his wife hunched over in a cooler. I thought that was pretty funny but even later on when my shift was over and I was heading to the break room to get my stuff and leave I saw the same couple still shopping, the wife looking at boxes of sweeties and the husband with the same "Oh my God, please kill me" expression on his face.

Pic kinda related, the guy looked a lot more like he didn't want to be there though.

>>9609635
I had one guy at a target pay for $20 worth of stuff with about 20 giftcards.

>>9610792
>Where the fuck is cash back a $1 charge?
Dollar Tree. Everything else costs a dollar, so why not that as well? We're not your goddamn bank.
We start out with $75 in the till, so it's a real fucking hassle when someone wants to play for $4 worth of items with a $100 bill at the start of my shift and I have to call my manager up to make change while customers pile up behind you.

I love going grocery shopping lol. Sometimes I'll go and already know I want like 2 things but still walk around the whole store. Some stores won't carry same products at different locations. I don't really like waiting in line but nothing really to do about that lol.
Sometimes I'll get a ride home from the store from my parents. They always go in and order food from the deli part like pizza or to go plates and you're supposed to pay after but they just walk out lol.

>>9611080

>>9607313
>that meme about milfs/soccer moms browsing /pol/ isnt entirely fictitious
this makes me feel warm inside

>>9610741

I'm sorry that you have to live in a special type of hell.

>>9607920
around here it's if you look under 40
better get some wrinkles motherfucker

>>9609708
they probably don't want to look dumb by just standing in the middle of a restaurant staring at something
yeah it's a sign, but some people will judge them anyway

>>9608504
my dad was homeless for a while and I could almost see him doing this just to fuck with people and not think about drinking for a while

>>9608650
unless they're old, you say "excuse me" and move past
if they don't hear you you repeat it louder until they do
if they hear you and don't move then you squeeze through anyway, without your cart if you have to, you can come back for it when Mama and Papa Cass get out of the way

>>9610473
I think he meant the cell phone is $100/mo
which is still ridiculous

>>9608769
You are a fucking idiot. Kids aren't EVER going to learn to behave in public if you don't take them out in public.

>>9607643
I used to play vidya with my cousin every weekend and it was some of the most fun I've ever had. Now, we don't speak to each other at family get togethers because I stopped talking to him like an asshole. Cherish the time you have with your friends. You never know when it will end. In my case I fucked up, but shit happens.

>>9611510
>we don't speak
>because I stopped talking
Then start talking.

>>9607135
Hay, are you ever gonna see those people again?! Fuck em. Next time don't even say shit. Just horn in and take what you want.

>>9611717
it's too late. you can't put toothpaste back in the tube.

>>9609599
having been that guy, it's because you're making things more difficult with no apparent regard for them
if they were really that mad they'd yell at you, gesture at you, or at least give you a dirty look
if they put away the cart in a bit of a huff, it's a normal day
they may even feel the same way about carts that were already in the middle of nowhere, personally I don't like them (except for the last one, because I turn it into a little decompressing walk strictly to go out and get it)

>>9609694
part of how the economy of scale works is having a looseness to things but still having them be bought roughly in order, you fuck that up and suddenly production sizes fluctuate more and stocking is more complicated and costs may go up
nearly everything you see at a grocery store is engineered to within an inch of its life, I mean mechanically engineered and psychologically and socially engineered
>captcha: 3000 cottages

>>9607020
>things being out of place
>goods not all facing the same
>people blocking up the aisles talking
>niggers

>>9609871
Poland here.
The only time I remember somebody was bagging my stuff was when scouts were raising money for polar jackets.
I every normal day everybody bag their shit and nobody complains.

>>9610838
You have to pay for shitty plastic bags in the UK, the "conservative" government introduced a law forcing all shops to have to sell you bags to help with pollution. Unrelated they are banning all Diesel cars soon and banning all fossil fuel cars in ten years or some retarded shit. Britain is fucking retarded.

Looking at this thread it's just depressing how shit the whole process is in the UK. They just slide all your shit down to you as you bag it yourself. At least we don't tip.

>>9607312
>>9609210

In Pittsburgh we call them buggies

>all the cucks itt proud that they bag their own groceries
lmao

>>9607020
I work in a big Tesco store and the absolute worst thing is people in their 60s thinking its acceptable to just rip the leaves off cauliflowers and throw them wherever they fucking please

People who put one item on the checkout counter then continue to shop around.
Never understood that

>>9611943
Not him but it depends on the store. For example you can hold the item with longer expiry date until the current ones diminished a lot before refilling the cabinet.
I know that it suplosed to be in order but it is also customer's right to buy the ones with longer expiry date.

>>9610306
Reminds me of a store in asia where they have an employee stationed at self checkout to just help the customers. To be fair most of the shoppers were old people

>>9607141
>Attractive and successful african american
Man I miss fark being good.