/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Real men get the martini juiceboxes

>Mancan was the name that popped into my head the night at the bar when I wished that there was an option to order a wine-in-a-can.
>I had been working on a construction site all day and was covered in drywall dust and met up with a buddy at a bar. He ordered a tallboy and I was craving wine but didn’t want to deal with asking for a list or a bottle that had been sitting behind the bar half opened for a week and gone bad. I also wanted something casual that didn’t break the bank and didn’t want to deal with stemware.

Is that a 12 oz can of red wine? That seems like a bit much in a single go. That would be like drinking the alcohol of half a six-pack.

>>9599834
>thought up by some lesser that works for the town
>this is supposed to be an advertising perk

>>9600009
...and?

>>9599877
This sounds like homoerotic fanfiction

I would drink this if it came in tall boys or 40oz

>>9599877
>I was craving wine but didn’t want to deal with asking for a list or a bottle that had been sitting behind the bar half opened for a week and gone bad.
If you bar does this, it's time to go to another bar.

> and didn’t want to deal with stemware.
...You didn't want to hold a glass?

Insecurity aside, I wouldn't mind wine conveniently in a can, especially since one to two is a good amount of comfy and drunk respectively

>>9599834
I don't understand gendered products like this.
Isn't it embarrassing to buy stuff with special labeling marketed toward men because the normal version was "too feminines" for you?
Like dove soap and dove soap FOR MEN

>being so insecure in your masculinity you have to drink wine dressed up in a can

>>9599834
As far as I can make out it doesn't even list the type of grapes.
I don't care what container it's in; it's clearly piss.

I would much rather drink brandy or rum.

>>9600061
BUT IT'S FOR MEN, IT'S A MANCAN. CAN'T YOU SEE? OH GOD PLEASE STOP JUDGING ME

UV LIGHT IS A MAJOR DESTABILIZER OF WINE. THE BEAUTY OF OUR CANS (BESIDES THE FACT THAT OUR DOG GRACEY ADORNS THE LABEL) IS THAT IT BLOCKS OUT THE LIGHT. THAT KEEPS THE WINE MORE STABLE SO THAT WHEN YOU REACH INTO YOUR FRIDGE TO CRACK ONE OPEN, YOU’LL GET A REFRESHING BEVERAGE.

>>9600161
So does a box...

>>9600009

The patron way to drink wine is from the box one liter at a time

>>9599834
this somehow manages to look gayer than just drinking wine from a wine glass

thats less manly than drinking wine like a normal person

even worse than wine in a box

>>9600234
>even worse than wine in a box
but it tastes and feels so good

>>9599877
>just then Jon put down his tall boy, I couldn't help but notice his hand cupped around the can. He noticed my eyes, locked too long on his strong hand and watched me as I brought my gaze up to meet his. "Yo, we going to fuck or what?" He said as he motioned to the bar tender, asking for our check. "Least I can do is pay for my bitches wine before I wreck dat ass."

>>9599834
>real man
>self conscious about his beverage of choice

Imagine being this much of a faggot

>>9599834
cringe

>>9599877
Sounds like a shitty solution to a made-up problem.

>>9600009
>this guy's not even an alcoholic yet! ahahahahahahha

>>9599877

This is like some shark tank shit.. I'm out

>>9600009
>3 beers is too much

pussy

>>9600199
>>9600585
these

cringe product for:
fragile masculinity
repressed homos

>>9600469
>but these dicks in my mouth and ass taste and feel so good

fixed

>>9600681
I'd rather fragile masculinity than fragile stemware. I don't want to deal with that.

>>9600747
why are you quoting your father?

>>9600780
nah my dad doesn't drink boxed wine

>>9600771
Order in litteraly any other glass then. It is a waste, but go ahead I'm sure they will do it.

>>9600771
>I must grip the glass as HARD AS I CAN

>>9600771
>I'm too retarded to handle anything more advanced then a tippy cup.

>>9599834
>letting someone dictate how you live your life
KYS

>>9600792
>>9600794
>>9600795
I'm sorry that I value quality when it comes to my cups.

>>9600771
>cannot into anything other than limp fish or extreme death grip

>>9600794
>He doesn't power lift his fork when he eats.

>>9600813
unh!
EXTREME!

>>9600813
>he doesn't shotgun his wine

>>9600804
So follow my advice
>>9600792
Drink like a 55 y o white woman in west Virginia out of what ever solo cup or beer glass you like. No law or rule states that you have to pour from a wine bottle into any specific shape. That still doesn't answer why you would forgo the glass and drink from a can. Also: you know they make stemless whine glasses for both white and red right? Soccer mom's love that shit. You can get right into your neighbors pants while her husband is at work if you bring over a set of stemless glasses.

This looks way more embarrassing to purchase as opposed to making up some lie to the cashier about how your gf/wife demands her Franzia.

>>9600052
quintessential american

if youre drinking out of anything less than a goon bag you're not a real man.

>>9599877
why wouldn't he just order a bottle of the cheapest wine like a normal person

americans are fucking pathetic

>>9600847
But ordering a glass of wine but not in a wine glass at a restaurant or a bar is too much hassle for me. I want something I can ask for without sounding like a prick. It'd be much easier if I could just ask for a can of wine. Simple, smooth, hassle free.

Is wine too feminine now? Why would you not want to smell your beverage when aroma is such a large part of taste?

>one mancan please, i don't want to look like a weirdo

These look really good though. You could drink wine in a car with these or while you are walking somewhere. You could also threw one to someone instead of having to pour for everyone.

Also these would be great for wine on the beach. You could put them down in the sand with less fear of spilling than with a glass and you don't have to drink from the same hole as other people like with a bottle.
You could even leave them floating in ice water or a cool box.
They would be good to put out for a party because an individual could start drinking wine without needing people to share so that they wouldn't look greedy.

These could be the future but people are too insecure to be seen drinking them so they probably won't take off.

>>9600942
>Too insecure to drink in a glass
>Too insecure to drink in a mini-bottle
>Too insecure to drink in a capri-sun bag
>Too insecure to drink in a can

That absolute state of one of the oldest ways of getting drunk..

Thanks roasties & social media

>>9600942
>not getting a bottle with a screw top and drinking straight from it
>not having personal bottles

it's like you don't want to get pissed

>>9600867
>Americans are pathetic
I don't see your flag on the moon, Pedro.

You silly men and your fragility

>>9601030
It takes a strong character to live with fragile masculinity. Roasties wouldn't understand. Women hardly ever get accused of not being women unless they are reeeaaally ugly.

>>9601013
How do you get flags on this board?

>>9600161
Glass wine bottles keep out all UV.

>>9601050
Roasties don't care to understand, but they love this product because it makes it even more simple to identify the easy marks.

>>9601056
You don't, I just assumed by your jealousy that you're brown.

>>9600052
this

I live in an oil town in Texas and see guys in steel toes buying bottles of wine all the time. It's just what you drink with dinner when you're not a bugman faggot

>>9599877
yeah that sounds very believable and not totally made up, a very original and clever idea

>>9600161
>red wine
>fridge

>>9601069
I assume from you being from America that you're brown lmao.

>>9601109
>lmao.
Don't you mean HAUEUEUEUE

>>9601109
Nope I'm 100% euro, 68% of that is British. I'm probably whiter than you.

>>9600656
underrated

>>9599834
>there are actual closet fags out there too insecure to buy wine
For some reason it reminds me of Robert Downey jr in stilts. There's something comecially pathetic about being so insecure of yourself

>>9601050
>yes men are the insecure ones and that's a GOOD thing
>women are never pushed to be womanly

>>9601282
>It's okay for a woman to be extremely insecure about their height though :)

>>9599834
>mancan
That's the gayest shit ever, and far more worthy of mocking than simply drinking wine.

>>9601849
>>It's okay for a woman to be extremely insecure about their height though :)
And their face....and hair....and fingernails...and toenails.

>>9600886
underrated

>>9600040
>He doesn't buy the 1 liter container of wine and crush it in the drivers seat before leaving the parking lot

>>9601136

>American
>White

Pick exactly one.

>>9599834
Dumb name and marketing, but good concept to make wine less pretentious and more portable

>>9599834
>MANCAN
>Shut up and drink.
SNL skits these days just ain't what they used to be

Do people really put beverage cans in their back pockets?

>>9600052
what did you expected from reddit?

>>9599834
Real men buy overpriced European wine and drink it like a thirsty camel drinks water

>>9599834
Needs more truck nuts

>>9602326
The best wine I can find is from an Italian company called Bolla, and they're not expensive at all.

>>9600577
Dubs confrims this is what actually happened.

>>9601050
Baaaaaiiiiittt

>>9600037
I think my favorite 10th grade memory was watching my friend Justin wrestle against a girl. Justin was my “straight” mutual masturbation friend. I talked to him a lot about my fetish (not that I knew it was that back then). I could tell he kind of liked it too but wasn’t at the point of admitting it. I noticed he got hard in the match (something he rarely did) and looked red, flushed, and distracted. The girl got him pinned and I saw him pull his knees as close to his stomach as possible. He got up really quickly but stayed hunched far down as they shook hands. He ran over to the bench and ran by me whispering, “Andrew, come here.” Out of sight next to the bleachers he showed me what looked like a decent sized pre-cum stain on his singlet. ”Yeah, now you know how I feel when I get them!” I said. But he shook his head and looked around to make sure no one could see. He pulled off his singlet down a little past his crotch and his underwear with it.

>>9600037
Inside his tight black briefs was a white sticky mess, his cock still semi. Thankfully for him, the thickness of our dark maroon singlets and his black briefs contained most of the jizz except for a small spot. He said that he LET her pin him so he could get away as soon as possible. He felt like he was going to bust for a good while and when he realized he lost that battle he completely surrendered to her to run and hide. I was speechless and just stared at him. My fantasy of seeing someone cum on the mat just happened (sort of, would have loved for it to have been more humiliating and for it to have been MY opponent.) Justin then ran to the locker room and cleaned up. He came back, freeballing thanks to his only available underwear now being in the trash, in his gold gym shorts. His cock was semi again and showed so clearly you could see his circumcised head. Thankfully I had already wrestled because I had a huge hardon the rest of the night thinking about what had happened. If I did have to wrestle I don’t know how I would’ve handled all the rubbing and grabbing with the image of Justin’s cum-covered cock so fresh in my head. I probably would have suffered the same fate, except I was freeballing and wouldn’t have gotten away as unnoticed as Justin. I went home and whacked off twice reliving the night. Jesus, that was seven years ago, but it feels like yesterday…maybe that’s because I’ve never stopped thinking of it. His shaky voice, eyes tearing up, cum-stained undies in a gym full of people. I was devastated when Justin moved half-way through his junior year. Not just because I lost a good friend and jack-off buddy, but because I’d never get to see him possibly jizz on the mat in front of a stadium full of people again!

>>9600800
If I killed myself I would be letting you dictate how I live my life, and then I would have to kill myself.

>>9599834
>sulfuric moldy feet alcohol guaranteed to give you the worst hangover everytime

It must be hell to be a wino.

>>9601096
>mancan

>>9599846
fpbp I laughed

>>9600051
They've been making razors for women (exactly the same blade as the male version, but held by pink plastic instead of black/blue plastic. It's more expensive of course) for a while, and feminists complain.
Now males can't complain about gendered products because that would make them sound like feminists. The irony.

>>9600883
After closeted faggots, America invented canned homosexuality.

>>9601013
>implying the moon landing was real
nigga plz

>>9601030
ROASTIE LEAVE ME BOARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>9599834
The marketing for that is cancer but I would try it

>>9599834
>yankees are this self-conscious that they can't even be winos because they think it's gay
>they think it's even bad to be gay in The Current Year

the only reason i dont chug white wine is that it is marginally more expensive than beer. but if i could lounge around in a miniskirt and drink white wine while shitposting online and playing resident evil 4, by god, i would

im 100% sure the guy who "invented" this got the idea from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and im also positive there's probably a good reason wine didn't popularly come in cans before but does come in easy to conceal cartons

>>9600044
To be fair, wine just isn't a big seller at some bars and they won't want to bother keeping a stock of it for literally one or two customers, especially if it's a small town that's unlikely to get new clients and is mostly regulars with consistent orders

>>9599834
what is "its always sunny in philly"
i hope this assholes "invention" puts em in bankruptcy.

>>9603270
>and feminists complain.
ive never heard feminists complain about female razors. they complain about "toxic masculinity" in men's razor commercials, though.

but yeah male and female razors are exactly the same, barring shit like the extra wide Venus ones or the new rolly ones for men's faces. standard 3 blade disposables are literally all the same except for the color of the plastic chassis. the blades are even often cross-compatible among gendered razors from the same company or line

>>9599834
>americans need a hipster excuse to drink wine and play manly men without feeling a faggot because they're insecure faggots
>meanwhile in the real world
LMAOing @ ur lives

>>9601849
>let's act like women! that sure as hell won't make me look like an insecure faggot
welp

What's the appeal? glass works pretty nicely

>>9603383
/r9k/

>>9603380
>His "country" cant even get it together to fake a moon landing
get off our internet.

>aluminium reacts with acid
>wine is very acidic
brilliant move

>>9603821
Cola is also acidic. There's a thin coating on the inside of the cans for exactly that reason.
Not that I'm defending canned wine, mind.

>>9599834
>thought up by a guy who lives in an old firehouse, walks to work with his dog, has two bikes and a trike, and wanted to move beyond stemware
he could have said "hipster faggot" and save us some time

>>9603835
coating of what? something entirely non-porous?

>>9603884
It's a polymer (plastic) of some sort. All food cans are coated internally, both beverage cans and "tin cans" with food in them.

Even the narrator in the ad sounds like a total wienie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZQkKAGgfQM

>>9599834
Piss poor friends m8. Real men drink wine already.

>>9603889
also, that's why it's a bad thing to make a pipe out of a beer can

>>9600234
>>9600469
There is nothing wrong with wine in a box

>>9603923
Box wine is such a strange thing. Objectively, the bag-in-a-box is a far better storage medium than an old-fashioned cork in a glass bottle. But it doesn't have the same "image" or panache. As a result, many people look down on it, and it can be hard to even find a good quality wine packaged like that. Many wine producers don't use the box packaging simply because they don't like the image it provides of their product.

>>9603931
My grandparents are like that.

On holidays my parents pour a box of wine into a decanter and they drink it up like it was $30 a bottle.

>>9603931
This is true. My friends owns like a two varietal estate and he bags some wine for personal use and friends because it really is a more practical system that keeps wines fresher (especially rose that spoils easier) but he would never sell his wine to a store like that because of the image he has to project as an estate winery to get the price he needs to keep his business afloat.

>>9603931
>Many wine producers don't use the box packaging simply because they don't like the image it provides of their product.
actually many wine producers sell boxed wine for bars.

it's not high end stuff because at a sit down restaurant part of the experience is the "sommelier" pouring you a glass, but you can get perfectly serviceable table wine in 4 to 16 litre cartons, generally used for making sangria and such.

Also, here in Quebec, if you go to the liquor store, they have a service where you can bring them literally ANY wine bottle, and they will refill it with one of a certain selection of wines at a reduced rate compared to a new bottle. They have wine concentrate and prepare it for you, or so I hear.

>>9600656
is that Eric Andre?

>>9603966
Does this have anything to do with why you leafs buy milk in bags?

>>9604028
That has nothing to do with it.

Canadians are just subhuman.

>>9599834
>giving a shit about how you look while drinking wine

Imagine being this insecure in your masculinity

>>9603966
>They have wine concentrate and prepare it for you
Canada is a mistake

>>9599834
>trike

Can't make this shit up

>>9603784
>ive never heard feminists complain about female razors
They definitely do complain about that shit. The women's version of everything (not just razors) usually costs more.

>>9601849
Yeah because they are women. Are you fucking gay dude?

>>9604162
Bro they NEVER SHUT UP about it.

>THEY ARE MARKETING THINGS TO WOMEN THAT ARE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN THE MALE VERSIONS

>then buy the male versions

>WOMEN ARE TOO STUPID TO DO THAT SOMEBODY HELP

>>9604131
owning a trike is faggier than drinking some wine. it's just a motorbike for people who are scared of falling off, but aren't cool enough to just get a cool car instead.

>>9604028
honest non-banter non-troll answer

milk is sold in bags because the bags are lighter and easier to stack than cartons and jugs. they are more space-efficient and use less material and the bags are easier to manufacture.

Many drinks come in bags. Canadian army ration packs actually come with a bag to prepare your drinks in! I still have one in my cupboard, though the bag has gotten a bit yellow with age and dust

>>9604125
its quebec specific, other provinces liquor commissions wont do it. theyre too plebcore. especially ontario. ontario needs to fuck off 100% of the way

>>9599834
>having buddies
get lost, pal

>>9604209
>owning a trike is faggier than drinking some wine. it's just a motorbike for people who are scared of falling off, but aren't cool enough to just get a cool car instead.
Am I allowed to have one of these?

>>9604227
No you will never use it.

Who the fuck doesn't just put their wine in a diet coke can anyway?

>>9604238
You're probably right. Thanks for the advice, dad.

>>9604227
that was the sort of trike i was thinking of. that one manages to be even gayer because of the horrendous styling and overly large size. trikes that big are objectively worse than equivalent cars because of the increased rolling resistance on the rear tire and absolutely HORRENDOUS aero

>>9604240
people who dont make wild gestures with their hands while speaking

>>9603784
Razors and "women's razors" aren't identical.
Safety razor blades used to be identical, but since they introduced disposable cartridges, women's razors are duller and have a less aggressive angle of attack, meaning you can shave like a retard and never cut yourself, assuming you don't have thick man hair.

>>9604328
Wouldn't that make the women's one cheaper?

>>9604328
Bics disposable are basically identical. Women's might actually be a tad sharper.

>>9599877
Mancan was almost certainly the name of the bar this fag went to.

I'm having a little bit of an identity crisis because I acknowledge alcohol is degenerate, getting drunk is a horrible thing, I'm better than you because I don't drink.
the flip side of that is cultural heritage and I can't be an ayy mambo italiano without dat vino

I feel guilt when I put that poison in my body though even though I'm inexplicably drawn to it

>>9604421
You're fine anon. Wine is not degenerate. It is not poison. It gives us southern Europeans the power we need to get thru life
>T. Portuguese

>>9604421
Z-zach?

>>9604464
What kind of Italian names their son Zachary?

>>9604464
what a terrible name

>>9604421
fucking grow a pair

>>9604421
just kill yourself, nothing will be lost

>>9604421
Alcohol is not degenerate, drunkeness is. Consider sex. Sex itself is not degenerate, promiscuity is.

>>9599877
>drinking wine after work

>>9599834
If you're walking around with a can telling people how manly it is, protip: you have a giant gaping vagina. Just drink from a bottle like all the other winos and goth rejects.

>>9600886
kek

>>9602591
Ok, why not...

I'm in my 40's now, married, straight guy, well except this, just for frame of reference.

>Be 13
>Have best friend Bill
>Bill and I are noticing girls
>no internet, so always scavaging for pornomags
>I find some old ones in my older brothers junk in the attic
>Share with Bill
>hormones rampant, Bill and I start jerking off together
>whose bigger, who comes first, shit like that
>It inevitably leads to jacking each other off
>It's bad. Our hang outs are literally naked roman jack off festivals.
>Before long, we start debating sucking each other
>Horny kids, we go for it

There is nothing worse than blowing your load in a friends mouth, then after horniness passes, it's "your turn". Anyway...

>It starts getting insane
>You know what's fair? 69'ing
>One day he dresses up in him Mom's bra, panties, heels, and a blonde wig his sister had from a halloween or theater

One Sunday, after hanging out with Bill, my Dad says we need to talk

>I can't hang out with Bill, because he has been accepted to a gifted kids school.
>He's leaving today
>and just like that, he was gone.

Fast forward 5 years

>Bill and I randomly end up at the same college
>Run into him, he's literally swishes when he walks
>K, pretty gay, whatever
>He says we should hang out
>I excuse, duck, dodge, for 4 years

Fast forward about 15 years

>My Mom is overmedicated for spinal degeneration
>It's like she has dementia
>I tell her that I bumped into Bill's Mom, she's well
>Mom calls me my Dad's name, and asks if I remember when Bill's Mom called them and said she walked in on Bill wearing her underwear and sucking Anon (me)?
>She then says how lucky we were that Anon (me) didn't turn out to be a faggot

So, there you go.

>>9604907
we get it, you jerked off with a dude, really want to talk about it, and have nothing to contribute to the discussion at hand.

>>9604907
still not as gay as drinking mancan

>>9599834
!!EH!!
What the hell is wrong with wine????!!

Why do some estadounidenses view wine as not masculine when it has a higher alcohol content than beer???

>>9604907
>>9602591
why are so many supposedly straight dudes into jacking off with eachother

im actually gay and dont even wanna do that

>>9599834
why do american men think drinking wine isnt manly and need some toddler type switcheroo to make them feel better?

>>9605020
Curiosity. It's a fairly common activity among adolescent boys, and grils I would suspect, although I've only had a few grils admit to doing it.

>>9605050
>why do american men think drinking wine isnt manly

Because Eurofaggots didn't create grape vineyards here in favor of growing grains, which lead to those grains being distilled into whiskey, which then became the alcohol of choice for men.

Meanwhile, eurofags have been sucking down vino since the Roman ages, and all but the Irish and Scots pretty much fear whiskey.

>>9599834
But won't they still make fun of you for the chicken tendies and smiley fries?

>>9601082
wine isn't strong enough

>>9602072
>>9600942

>drunk driving

do americucks really do this?

>>9600051
I buy Dove for Men products. I'm not sure why I should feel weird about this. It's similar chemical makeup with more masculine scents.

>>9606939
>He doesn't drive on hard difficulty.

Sometimes I put gin and tonic in a reusable coffee cup so I can take it grocery shopping.

>>9600192
thats what i've been doing all week, now i feel like shit

>>9603966
>16 litre cartons of wine

>>9604907
This is the typical Mancan customer

>>9603966
>over 4 gallons of wine in a box
I can't stop laughing. Does it come with an auto-siphon? Can you pay extra and get it in a cambro? Do any of your smaller waitresses ever hurt themselves carrying 34 fucking pounds of wine in a box?

>>9604227
>Am I allowed to have one of these?
It's OK to be gay.

>>9604328
>women's razors are duller
No. It's cheaper to produce only one line of blades anyway.
You may be right for the angle.

>>9600051
this shit happens way more often for women than it does for men. probably 90% of packaged desserts or single serving fruit juice has gay ass pink and purple packaging. the last time I wanted to buy pudding snacks I had to get my mom to buy it for me becuase I didn't want the check out girl to think I'm gay.

>>9604834
My great grandpa would take a piece of bread with lard and a flask of wine every morning to work in the fields

>>9604907
Thanks for sharing, honestly. It would have been just a fun horny teen story, but having the perspective of years applied to it made it all that much better.

I hope Bill is doing well.

>>9604974
Propaganda in US is so deep

>>9608277
its really just anglos making up for their lack of a jawline by calling things other cultures do non-masculine

heh, hey my chin might be flush with my neck, but that guy is drinking wine!!! ha! so who's the real man?

>>9602317
Nice buzzword, I think you mean Ebaums World.

>>9599834
>nonfeminists will defend this

>>9605885
A lot stronger than most beers.

>>9606939
>Being a pussy

Yes, but what if it came in a can the size of a monster energy drink?