/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Coworker of mine at a gas station I worked at in high school ate vinegar and peanut butter sandwiches for lunch everyday.
He would chew the entire sandwich and hold it in his mouth before taking a big swig from his water bottle and swallow it in one gulp.
He was like 20 years old but a little autistic.

The guys in the navy would add Powerade to milk and by the time they got it to the table it would've begun to curdle. Just the combination is fucking nasty sounding but the fact it turns chunky is outright disgusting.

>>9432252
They basically made fresh cheese in a powerade marinade

>>9432235
my friend will only eat garbage he grew up with: macdonald's (takes eveything out of the burger except the ketchup and beef), goldfish crackers, tater tots, ketchup, frozen fish sticks, chicken nuggets. he literally can not eat other stuff, he will spit it out if he goes that far. before i realized how serious it was, i tried to get him to try other things. the most he did was order sushi and a gyro on two different occasions, and he just left both plates untouched while i ate.

>>9432265
That's some advanced autism right there.

>>9432265
you and your "friend" sure eat together a lot, anon.

>>9432235
Not sure if it's cringey but when I was about 8 or 9 I would sometimes put french fries on my burger when I had fast food. Haven't done it since I left the burger king kids club.

>>9432314
Fuck you man I do that with every burger and fries. Shit's delicious.

My roommate doesn't clean his pans an reuses the oil in it for months if not years.

>>9432367
i do that but i clean the pan prob once a week

>>9432235
I ate nothing but apples for months.

>>9432514
You stopped though, right?

>>9432275
Sorry to hear you don't have any friends, but people who hang out a lot tend to eat together quite a bit.
Something I'm sure you've never experienced.

>>9432535
I believe he was making a joke about people will sometimes refer to a friend in a story when they are actually talking about themselves. You took it very seriously though, which leads me to believe that you, like me, have not had any friends.

I used to eat steaks with ketchup and mayo

>>9432275
You know its a normal thing to eat food with other people right?

>>9432314
>>9432354
I used to do that alot as a kid. I still do occasionally, it just takes the right kind of burger. Onion rings are also a good toppig for some burgers.

>>9432514
I feel like that could result in some serious vitamin deficiencies.

>>9432514
Nietzsche?

>>9432562
I thought it was a gay joke

>>9433180
>being this much of a Chad

>>9433401
Chad sounds cool

I used to buy $1 wendys chicken sandwiches and keep them stuffed down the side of my mattress, pressed up against the radiator. So when ever I wanted I could reach down and have a hot chicken sandwich without having to get out of bed.

it was a dark time in my life

>>9434430
thats so fucking badass dude

In Elementary School this one kid next to me would always mix a whole ton of shit from the school lunch together, and pool it all into one of the sections of the lunch tray, and it would always smell fucking terrible and sometimes he'd even eat it

Besides all that though he was a nice kid, I actually miss him

My brother used to mix goldfish and ketchup. Like it was pasta and sauce.

>>9434430
Kek

>>9434430
Wow

>>9432235
When I went to summer camp, one of the counselors would always smother his pizza in mayonnaise. It absolutely ruined pizza day for me.

>>9435024
Lucky you, my camp counselor would just smother me in his cum

>>9432562
I think it was a gay joke

>>9435036
I think you'll be proud to know that that was my first post on /ck/, and this was the first response that I got.

>>9435036
>Not swallowing like a real man
What are you? A queer?

>>9435090
I think it was a gay joke

>>9434430
Good god anon
How old was the oldest sandwich you ate?
2 weeks?

>>9432514
Joni Mitchell?

>>9432265
My cousin is/was like this, was an extremely picky eater through childhood and only ate those garbage comfort foods even when good home cooking was available.
She is now permanently partially blind because of severe vitamin deficiencies along with a half dozen other medical issues and she is not even 25.

>>9436120
God damn, I live in the American south and even I've never heard of someone having such a poor diet that they go blind. That's genuinely impressive.

>>9432235

Junior high I had a friend who didn't like bread so every day for lunch she had cookies, a pack of cheap ass salty unhealthy crackers and a can of liverwurst (which is like spam but you can spread it out on a sandwich). Needless to say she ended up becoming a planet.

I make everything I make spicy. I put hot sauce on vanilla ice cream and I even made a pot roast that made a friend cry it was so spicy.

>>9436129
She subsisted on a similar diet as that guys friend, plain cheeseburgers, nuggets, plain pizza, fish sticks, french fries, mashed potatoes, tons of soda, etc.
The tomato sauce on pizza was nearly the only vegetable she was eating for a decade or longer. I am sure she had uncontrolled diabetes because she has been overweight since mid childhood, and that probably is what caused the blindness.

>>9432514
atleast let us know if there was some variation in cultivar? like, you werent just snacking on red delicious the entire time, right?

>>9434430
Are you that fat fuck that was on tv?

>have a lot of onions
>looked up online for french onion soup recipe
>Don't have any of the ingredients only onions
>sauted shitload of onions until black than add water and salt
>Throw in some fish sticks i found
>Doesn't smell to great, decide to finish a bowl
>dump the rest in the sink

>>9433377
kek

>>9433401
>back parallel with the table at all times
Uhm ok

My mom has a few cringe cooking habits. She's like Marie. Hasn't learnt a single recipe but likes to pretend she can cook.

>boils potatoes in butter using a microwave
>puts salmon in a dish covered with tin foil, again steaming/boiling in butter with an oven (tastes like a soggy mess everytime)
>says she doesn't like salt but uses shit loads of salted butter on everything
>gets offended when I put salt and pepper on a dinner she makes for me, insisting that 'she thought it tasted fine' without it
>because she seemingly refuses to use any seasoning whatsoever, to make anything taste 'good' she burns things so they're slightly black or uses a couple tablespoons of butter
>when she makes mashed potatoes, again as she refuses to use even salt she covers it entirely with a layer of cheddar cheese and it looks like it has been covered with custard

I need to move out. She's realised I think her cooking sucks and now she gets annoyed with me as if she is perfect at cooking and I'm just being a dickhead.

>>9432235
Colleague of mine eats like an autist (because he is an autist, but don't tell him that; he'll flip his shit), meaning he practically doesn't eat anything because of something with the texture, or because has a hint of sour, or whatever other stupid shit bothers him that day. He's still fat though, I really don't know how.

Anyway, he found a recipe for "authentic mcdonalds burgers" on the internet and now wants to make them. He can barely cook anything but eggs, so I can only applaud this attempt. He wants to make a big mac. I say the sauce is probably the hardest part. He says he doesn't like sauce on his burgers, so he'll skip that. And he's also going to skip the veggies, because veggies bah. He just wants a bun with two patties, but it absolutely has to have the middle-piece bread, otherwise it wouldn't be an authentic big mac...

>>9436120
wtf is wrong with epople

>>9432514
Steve Jobs?

>>9433192
Nah, if bears can get big and strong from eating nothing but oversized grass, we can surely live on apples.

>>9436996
I'm gonna tell him you said he's an autist.

>>9436996
Do they even sell middle buns to our kind? What's he gonna do if he has to end up using a second bottom bun leaving a bunch of unused top buns? I bet he'd freak.

I live mostly on pizza and pasta and I'm not even Italian. I also love coffee and sperg out inside when I see people add milk or sugar.

>>9437250
you're an idiot

>>9437245
d.. don't do it, please. You have no idea what powers you're messing with.

>>9433188
I do this too every once in awhile
I do it with chips too on some sandwiches, tuna mainly.

>>9432314
That's not cringey. A lot of people do that.

>>9436627
i think he meant 'right angle'

>>9437243
you're an idiot
but that was fun to watch

>>9437266
Hey get outta my face bud.

>>9437432
It's already proven that a human female can live (and grow big) for years on nothing but cheesy potatoes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJGIMd3_LfY

I tried the milkshake with bacon at the bottom once at Five Guys...

>>9437475
Sonic had one of those but it was with peanut butter flavored ice cream with bacon. I tried it and it was nothing short of awful.

>>9432235
>get home from gym with gymbro
>he heads to the kitchen to cook something up
>tells me that I could take a shower first
>ok.png
>come out with only a towel
>he's cooking sausages
>sneak up behind him and take a sniff of his armpits
>jokingly ask him if he's gonna use them as seasoning while grabbing him from behind
>he shrieks and instinctively slaps me with the scalding hot spatula
>tfw

>>9437484
I hope you said no homo afterwards because that was gay as fuck.

>>9437534
What's wrong with you? There's literally nothing gay about that entire story.

>>9432314
Did you get beaten out or have to blow the wheel chair kid?

>>9436160
I legit eat worse than she does and have been getting like an all over heart burn and pains in my chest back and arms when I drink soda recently. Not fat tho

My sister would heap generous amounts of sugar on her Coco-Pops.

How that bloated glutton hasn't ended up with diabeetus yet is beyond me.

>>9437558
I'm gay and can confirm
Anon is a faggot
No straight man would do that

>was at a birthday party
>there was leftover cake, it was triple chocolate with thick chocolate sauce covering the top
>notice that it looks identical to brown sauce (a condiment pretty much exclusive to UK that tastes like a spicy, vinegary ketchup)
>decide to cover the top of the leftover cake in brown sauce
>convince people to finish up the cake
>hilarity ensues
>watch their expressions turn to one of extreme disgust and then anger
>a few people start vomiting
>end up getting kicked out of the party

>>9437759
>a condiment pretty much exclusive to UK that tastes like a spicy, vinegary ketchup)

Brown sauce is everywhere anon.

>>9436154
I would feel so betrayed if I had a nice pot roast dinner and bit into hot spicy betrayal.

I love hot foods too, but pot roast is sacred.

The lunch I make when I'm alone and feeling lazy:
>Fistful of pasta
>1 or 2 red onions sauteed with some garlic

>>9437765
A.1 doesn't taste anything like HP brown sauce and the ingredients are different

>>9436892
Make dinner for her one day. See if she notices a difference

>>9437765
A1 and HP have completely different ingredients.
Nothing like each other.

>>9437759
>exclusive to the UK
It's made in the Nederlands for a start.

>>9437809
stop arguing semantics it doesnt matter

>>9437780
They taste extremely similar and most of the ingredients are the same.

>>9437803
>A1 and HP have completely different ingredients.
They're virtually identical bro. Google it.

A1: Tomato puree, vinegar, corn syrup, salt, raisins, spices...

HP: Tomato puree, malt vinegar, sugars, dates, salt, spices....

Adults who eat like children anger and frustrate me so much

>>9437809
I'm dutch and I have no idea what it is.

>>9437745
You've just never had a real gymbro

>>9436627
maybe he forgot the word 'perpendicular' existed

>>9434430
How long would you keep the sandwiches there?

>>9437484
That's gay as hell.

>>9437464
if you believe that this wasn't dramatized and she actually lived like that her entire life,
you're a double idiot
but that was also fun to watch

>>9437534
>>9438044
It's called skinship you fucking sperglords. Not everything involving other men is automatically gay.

>>9438106
More like skinflute you fucking fairy.

>>9438111
>projecting
t. closet homo

one of my friends puts miracle whip on his pizza and eats it, actually he puts miracle whip on almost everything

>>9438093
>it contradicts my beliefs
>therefor it must be fake

>>9438044
It's just guys having some fun together. Sniffing armpits is not weird at all. Nobody is swallowing cum, relax.

>>9432314
I still do this with McDonalds. Don't do it in restaurants of course.

>>9438106
stop posting about your kinks in the food board

When I was in high school I would walk to the grocery store nearby and buy those mixers for alcoholic drinks, and just drink them straight. Green apple was my favorite

Believe it or not I'm still a skinny skeletor and I don't have the 'beetus

>>9438292
How is that a kink? You're seeing things that aren't there.

>>9437567
>the wheel chair kid
His name was wheels, and no.

>>9437464
I could not only eat chessy potatoes for all my meals. However this video always makes me crave cheesy potatoes.

>>9436512
the old Stix N'Onions Water Soup

I like to put Nabisco easy cheese cheddar on chips ahoy chocolate chip cookies

>>9438450
The fuck is wrong with you?

>>9436136
>didn't like bread
>eats cookies

I drink the half & half that comes out with my coffee

Once when I was in highschool, me and my buddy got stoned and went to the local chinese buffet. This was like 15 years ago, and we were wearing these big cargo pants that zipped off at the knees. We had stuffed the pockets of these things with bags and attempted to fill the bags with food to eat later that night, which is generally frowned upon. Anyway one of em saw us doing it, and very loudly started screaming at us in Chinese as everybody looked on and another waitress came up and started pulling the half full bags out of our pockets. It was especially awkward because it was a small town and everybody knew each other.

>>9438111
Underrated post kek

>>9438559
Did the same thing, but with a backpack and a large Ziploc baggie. We got chicken on a stick for days....

>dad eats store bought salsa with everything
In the mornings he makes himself a butter, salami, and salsa sandwich.
Steak? Add salsa. Soup? Add salsa.

>>9432235
I still can't stand cheese on pizza. It's probably the one bad food habit I haven't grown out of. I used to get my parents to specialty order "sauce only" pizzas, but they came out like shit half the time, so I just ordered cheese ones and picked off the cheese. Now I order meat lovers or onion and mushroom pizzas, pick off the topping and cheese, replace toppings, then eat. My friends still make fun of me for it.
Weird thing is I like most cheeses by themselves or on other foods. Just not anything with marinara sauce.

>>9432514
MLK from work?

>>9432562
It was a gay joke.

>>9437704
Reading this made my teeth hurt

>>9438692
also not real pizza with actual mozarella?

>>9438111
Top kek

>>9438692
I have a buddy who has the same issue. Always orders pizza without cheese or picks it off.

You're both fags imho.

This fat faggot that my old roommate tried to sublease to ate buffalo ranch doritos in a bowl and poured ranch and hot sauce on them and at ate it like ceral. What a gross fat fucking faggot that guy was.

>>9434875
x2

>>9432235
Fat bitch I worked with would literally microwave hot dogs, two of them, every day, and waddle back to her chair in her office and eat em. Something just disgusted me about that. Not that my fat fucking shitheel ass can talk.

But still, HOT DOGS?

>>9432265
LOLLLLLLLLLLLL my grandpa is like that. He literally just like spits out food that gets mixed together hahahahahahahahahahaha. What the fuck kind of autism do you have to suffer from for that LOL

Dude just eats like saltines and steak.

>>9439907
Yeah, rawdawggin' is where it's at.

>>9439907
Wait, did she just microwave the meat and then put it in a bun after, or did she shove an assembled hot dog in the microwave?

>>9434430
That is so fucked up man. I'll eat a box of Cheeseits like as a meal sometimes. I'd rather skip a few meals and eat something absolutely disgustingly shitty than eat healthy when losing weight, sometimes.

SCARF that fucking shit down. Goldfish and Cheeseits, Pizza Rolls, and Tacquitos are my "fuck it I'ma just get fat" foods.

>>9432265
>(takes eveything out of the burger except the ketchup and beef)
Why didn't he just order it plain?

>>9432514
I hope you saw a doctor once you stopped

>>9432514
are you a shinigami? xD

>>9432514
Issac Newton?

>>9439937

>>9432235
Well, there was this one kid in my elementary school who wouldn't drink chocolate milk if it didn't have 3 packets of barbeque sauce, and 2 packets of mustard in it. I'm pretty sure he was autistic, idk though. Or there was a kid who had to make ramen noodles using Crystal Pepsi instead of water.

>>9437759
>>9437765
Scottish Chippy sauce is the best version of brown sauce. Fucking fight me!

had a teacher who was fat as fuck and would often sit around and peel boiled eggs before popping the whole egg into her mouth

ruined boiled eggs for me because if you ever walked over to her desk toward the end of the day you could smell the shells in the trash being gently warmed up by the heater

>>9437248
he just has to cut the top off a top bun to even out duh

>>9437693
i got some bad news bro..

>>9436136
>talking shit about liverwurst
>pretends someone else is the weird picky eater

>>9438559
>>9438629
not sure if thread relevant, but my parents would take us to a chinese buffet in town on sundays and me and my sister were always 10. then one day the angry chinese waiter finally told my dad we kids were 10 for many years and we werent 10 anymore so my dad raised a big hullaballoo arguing with them and we left in a huff and never went back. yes, we are of the mexican persuasion, but fuck those stingy chinese.

>>9437372
>tuna mainly

no you fuck. trust me on this. You overstuff your tuna sandwich but eat them with a bag of salt and vinegar chips, then you scoop up the tuna that falls off with the salt and vinegar chips.

>>9438653
if it at least wasnt pace..

>>9432514
Everyone just asking dumb questions. I'm over here like, "tell us about the shits, did you lose weight, why did you stop?"

>>9432562
Wow. I did not pick up on the gay joke. Probably because I was also going to reply to the guy saying "does your friend also only live in your mirror?"

>>9439915
Choosing this poorly on "fuck it" foods.

Mine are Taco Bell or Chicken Tenders slathered in copious amounts of ranch.

>>9440025
>use soda instead of water when preparing ramen

Fuck now I have to try that, R.I.P. [and tear] my bowels.

>>9440099
Why would you put chicken tenders in ranch, when there is the much superior ketchup? Or burger sauce, that's really great too

>>9440106
Please don't, I had one fork of them, I basically shit my brains out for the next 3 days. Besides, boiling Crystal Pepsi smells like death itself

>>9435090
I took it as a gay joke

>>9440080
Hey, my dad works at the Pace factory, and people would drop dead if it weren't for him! People need to realize how important the work of a Pacemaker is.

>>9440074
I'm not sure whether or not this is bait, but are you calling another race stingy when yours was the one trying to get a fake children's discount using lies? Awful

>>9440074
>chink calls you out for cheating
>you're actually cheating
>he's the stingy guy

>>9437243
>eats with mouth open
what a savage creature

>>9436892
Sounds a lot like my mom actually. Even down to the salmon.
My mom tries to make something but takes the laziest possible approach to do so and it ends up tasting shitty every time.

>>9436129
The diabeatus sends one blind

>>9439914
There was no bun

>>9440106
>>9440114
Please document the event and post it on /ck/
I want to see the fireball

>>9440074
>chink is the stingy one and not you, mexishit

My dad lost his job in the 1990's during a pretty hard recession that hit Canada. I remember him showing me how good 2 slices of bread that was squished out into a ball tasted.

bad days.

>>9440398
well, did it taste good?

>>9440404
Actually yes. You take the bread, remove the crust and squish the bread slices in your fist. Lots of poverty food was consumed during those days. Still have problems eating plain
boiled potato. Did a lot of forging in the summer months for berries and all that. Rough two years of on and off work before he got his old job back.

>>9440392
>>9440171
>>9440143
its like the autism convention here. plus one trumptard.

>>9440440
and you shitskins wonder why everyone hates you

>>9440441
dude, take off the red maga hat. no one can see you wearing it in your room.

>>9440440
>Has shitty behavior pointed out
>LOL blarmpftrards

>>9440534
heres the thing. i shared that story knowing it was shitty behavior. then you all got butthurt and very serious about me pointing out that yeah, my dad was acting like a cheap mexican. way to not get humor, and as i said, act like fucking autists.

9440558
You're pure cringe.

>>9440558
Oh I'm not that guy. I didn't say anything about your family's geographic origin, just the behavior.
Way to not get humor.

>>9440448
Apparently you can.

>>9432235
My Mom used coffee sweetener instead of heavy cream for mashed potatoes. Pumpkin spiced mashed potatoes she called them....

>>9442401
lol disgusting because coffee sweetener is not even made of cream

>>9437243
that's literally a man in a panda costume

>>9440074
You have to go back

>>9440440
what are you on about?
The chinese dudes were letting you get away with it for years to be polite before they called you out on your bullshit.

>>9432514
Wendy Williams?

>>9437484
/fit/ everybody

>>9437243
panda bears are extremely weak and almost emaciated from their shitty ass diet, they literally lay around all day and are exhausted just from eating that shit

>>9440398
Did you live in a rural area or shitty province or something? I lived in Ontario in the 90s, still do, and was doing fine financially, always ate well.

>>9440558
>fuck those stingy chinese
>awww c'mon guys i was just joking, geez
fucking moron

>>9432265
mcdonalds makes you build your sandwich up though. So he'd have to order shit on his burger to take anything off.

>>9438692
i'm the exact opposite anon. i usually can't stomach eating cheese alone/on foods (except goat cheese for some reason), but pizza is always fine for me

One day I was hanging out with my buddy eating cheez-its. He asks me if I would like to see him make something he invented called a cheez-it sandwich. I agree and would immediately regret later. He takes about 3 or 4 cheez-its in his mouth and begins to chew them up. He then forms the cheez-its he chewed up into a ball and puts it between 2 other cheez-it crackers and smushes it together and then begins to eat his fucking disgusting cheez-it abomination and savors every bite of his own chewed up and spit up food. I still can't eat cheez-its.

>>9438692
so its not pizza...

>>9436892
What's it like having Paula Deen as a mom?

Not sure if autism but I don't like eating things with different textures together, I'll eat lettuce on it's own but not on a sandwich. Also the sensation of mashed potatoes in my mouth makes me nauseous. Is it just me?

>>9437759

Did something similar when I was a kid to my dad's friend who was kind of a sperglord.
>2001
>just figured out that adding other seasonings to microwave popcorn makes it taste different
>dad's friend is over and is irritated because he can't watch football as me and the other kids are watching a movie
>offer to make popcorn
>decide to mess with him and add a fuckton of garlic powder and paprika to popcorn
>serve it to him
>tastes a bite and loses his shit
>grabs my shirt spongebob style and pulls me in
>yells "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU PUT ON THIS?!"
>tell him
>acts pissy at me the rest of the afternoon

Makes me cringe.

>>9444008
it is he that should cringe, for not being able to take a fucking joke

>>9437704

>>9440566

>>9432514
Tony?

>>9438458
It tastes good, especially after some devils lettuce

No wonder everyone's so fat and in shit health today. The fuck.

>>9443579
yeah, it was humor. autists, man.

>>9432235
When I would cut the fat off of raw meat, I'd eat it if no one was around.

>>9432265
I have a friend like this, he has the pallet of a child, the face of a child, nearing 300 pounds, he's a NEET, only watches dubbed anime, plays league of legends all day, and is the pickiest eater I know. He's basically the definition of a man child.

One time when a group of us went to a restaurant, we get our food, and he gets his chicken tenders. I try his honey mustard because he claims it's good, and I love honey mustard. I say to him " I didn't know you liked horse radish." He says "ugh no I hate it." I begin to tell him that there is clearly horse radish in the mustard I can taste it, and suddenly he stops using it for no reason.

>>9444445
You know what that means, anything he does that you don't like has horseradish in it.

>>9432354
Time to grow up, kid.

>>9444426
It's surprising how many people just haven't been told some basic things, even something as simple as everyone needs a vegetable once in a while. Or that credit cards aren't literally free money.

>>9444596
These are the same people that put stickers/photos over the check engine light and who remove the batteries from carbon monoxide detectors because the beeping gives them a headache. Despite out hardest efforts we simply haven't managed to defeat natural selection, it always steps up its game.

>>9436892
>boils potatoes in butter
This sounds like it would be fantastic.

>>9437821
they don't taste anything alike

>>9445384
Stop smoking bro, your tastebuds are clearly shot.

Nobody is claiming they taste identical but they are pretty fucking similar, which makes sense given how similar their ingredient lists are.

>>9444008
>Makes me cringe
I hope you're only doing so because of the secondhand embarrassment. Threw a tantrum aimed at a child and sulked for the rest of the day. Guy sounds unhinged why the fuck is your dad friends with him?

>>9444429
>years of ripping off a chinese guy
>just a joke, bro

ok so when I was a kid I always had those 3d dorito things, and I'd bite a hole in them and pour ketchup inside before finishing one.

>>9445950
Are we talking like, a dab of ketchup? Because then I could get behind that.
Filling the whole thing full of ketchup like some kind of autist? yeah, that belongs in this thread.

>>9432235
what's a packet of sweet and a packet of low? am i retarded?

>>9432275
I know what you were trying to imply but you left yourself wide open

>>9432514
Dad?

>>9436892
Are you white? That's a particularly Caucasian way of shitty cooking.

>>9446066
still pretty weird, just dip them in ketchup

>>9436892

Reminds me of my dad. I think it might be a 1970's thing because he just says stupid shit like "you need some fat in your diet" when I point out he's on his third pie that day and hasn't eaten any fruit or veg in 3 days. He doesn't even overeat, he just eats moderate amounts of crap. Also he puts salt on everything because he's a smoker.

>>9435916
I bet his fat ass would by like 10 at a time and eat them throughout the afternoon. If youre desperate enough to skip a trip to the fridge, youre not going to leave food uneaten

>>9437693
Eat some veggies man fuck put em on burger

>>9443911
Lots of people do that with crackers. It is disgusting

Two of my friends are the exact opposite of unhealthy extremes
>one is extremely picky and only eats shit that is terrible for you
>ramen, fake cheese and crackers, pepperoni pizza
>the only veg he eats is raw carrots
>also smokes like a half a pack a day for 7 years now
>hasn't even considered exercise basically ever
>thin as fuck but still has the belly pudge
Other friend is
>300+ pounds, been that way for years
>does fat people shit like rave about new diet then gets fast food for lunch like 4 times a week
>collects food stamps but wastes easily 100$ a month on fast food
>drinks soda
>fries every vegetable he eats
>already allowing his 2 yr old to eat garbage and drink soda
I love both these guys, known them for half my life. But I'm fucking shocked that neither is dead already. They're also brothers which is kind of funny

>>9446087
"Sweet and Low" is the name of a low calorie artificial sweetener. You can usually find it in packets at the table of diner style restaurants.

>>9444064
>>9445429
Dad isn't friends with him anymore afaik.

But desu I should have known better as a kid, the guy had major anger problems and I heard awful stories about him verbally/physically abusing his kids and wife growing up. It's just that in a small town you get involved in a lot of social politics and it becomes easier to ignore problems like that than make waves confronting them.
I was just trying to be a funny kid and I poked the wrong bear with my popcorn prank, and yet it did teach me to not mess with peoples' food (even if that bastard deserved it).

Eventually people left that guy to his misery though, including his wife who I believe divorced him.

>>9444528
>hey man I heard that league of legends has horseradish in it

>>9446545
You started it all. He never forgot about that garlic powder popcorn. It made him angrier every day.

>>9446087
got it

>>9437250
Would it be bad to live off of mostly pizza? It's a vegetable after all

>>9447314
I hope this is bait. You need more than one vegetable in your diet dumbass!

>>9446161
Nah, it really isn't.

>>9432514
Methuselah?

happened when I was a younger man.
>be 16 year old me
>eating at burger king with my buddy
>old geezer yells at me because i threw out half of my fries
>" homeless people could eat that! "
>gramps is mad as fuck
>put my ass on the edge of his table
>rip the sickest, smelliest, loudest fart I have ever left
>" homeless people could eat that too bro"
>he starts screaming at me and I'm laughing so hard
>manager comes running out and listens to his story
>kicks me out
>haven't been back since

cut bbq chicken into 1/2" place on tortilla, place shredded.lettuce on top of chicken, mix sriracha with mayo, slather the disgusting orange puke goop over the taco
enjoy!

>>9434430
Honestly a good idea to not have to microwave your chicken sandwich

>>9435024
Don't knock it till you try it

>>9447558
that isnt cringe, lol. sounds bretty tasty

>>9447865
American mayo doesn't deserve to exist, it's embarrassing really

>>9447882
im not too fond of it honestly, but im a bit sheltered and never had any other kind, so i tolerate it

>>9434430
based

I tried to make chicken a chicken alfredo omelette for some reason using half and half, shredded cheddar, parmagean cheese, onion powder and like week old chicken breast. was pretty gross.

I know this applies to like 90% of people but people that only eat the same 10 meals and write everything else off as "gross" or "weird" are the cringiest shit.
I expect that out of small children or teenagers but if you're a grown ass adult you shouldn't be saying "That sounds disgusting" unless someone literally offered you garbage on a plate.
My sisters are the worst at this, I suggested Korean food for my sister and I for our birthday dinner and she actually made a scrunched up face and said it sounded disgusting. She's 30 years old, and said grilled meat with rice and lettuce sounded disgusting.
We went to the same Texmex place she wants to go to every year.

>>9432314
if i get chips with cold sandwiches, i still put them in sometimes. gives it a nice crunch

>>9437558
>sneak up behind him and take a sniff of his armpits
>jokingly ask him if he's gonna use them as seasoning while grabbing him from behind
>gymbro

Uhhhhthatsoundsprettygay.png

>friends with 24yr old manchild
>can't manage his own life
>breakfast every day is a 500ml can of full sugar energy drink and a large 2 serve can of ravioli which he eats unheated straight from the can
>not sure what he eats for lunch but I know there is another large energy drink involved
>dinner typically consists of fast food, pizza is his favourite, will eat an entire large deep pan pizza, get through most of a 1.25L of coke, a whole roll of garlic bread, and then eat a full 250gm chocolate bar for dessert

He's put on at least 40kg in the last 4 years.

>>9446612

>>9432235

>>9446381
>>does fat people shit like rave about new diet then gets fast food for lunch like 4 times a week

Shit drives me up the wall.

>>9433401
These have jumped the shark now.

>>9447821
haha niþþa that dun look like mayo haha

My cousin is on a neverending cut and I suspect he has anorexia. He only eats complex carbs, lean proteins and veggies. His breakfast is always plain oatmeal with tuna (he mixes them) then he eats nothing but veggies (bellpeppers are his favorite) them eats whatever the fuck his mom cooks him for dinner and that's it. He also smokes a lot and dabs wax. He has a BMI of like 19 at max.

I sometimes order a double quarter pounder and a mchicken and put the mchicken between the two quater pounder patties

>>9432514
Christian Bale?

>>9444000
Double trips says autismo

>>9440136

>>9438653
Is your dad Jack?

>>9443474
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMpgcfiC3p4

>>9437825
define eating like a child

>>9432265
"Picky eaters get obese in exchange for their retardedness", that's what I think If I get frustrated by one.

>>9432514
Anon?

>>9444958
>putting photos over the check engine light
For what purpose? I'm legitimately curious. Is it just so the light doesn't keep shining/blinking at them?

>>9447929
Was there even a vegetable on her plate?

>>9448453
Alot of idiots these tend to think that just because they're borderline anorexic that means they're healthy. I mean your friend has a good diet but he needs variety.
Also anyone who thinks they're healthy and also smokes is basically brainless

>>9448574
>making a big deal about a fucking omelette
>dumping shitty remade salsa all over it
>info@GiveMeFoods
God damn it I love Jack

>>9449678
Do you? Do you really love him?

>>9447554
oh man teenage boys are the worst.

>>9449737
Yes. I love him for his amazing ability to fuck anything up

>>9448394
I've learned to just let him do his dumb ass shit. He gets a bit spregy when he gets called out so I just let him be. One of these days he'll learn the hard way and then maybe he'll actually change and stick with it

>>9444445
Does he also happen to browse /r9k/ and live with his mom?

>>9446381
im more sad about the fat dude's kid

>>9440030
What the fuck. that is not exactly very unhealthy but still shitty

I was diagnosed with an egg allergy that caused my excema to worsen whenever I touched raw egg. I then proceeded to eat boiled egg sandwiches for breakfast for an entire week because i suddenly developed a craving.

>>9449548
Yep, it gets annoying so they cover it up. Happens all the time, mainly with women drivers.

>>9437464
didnt the entire country of ireland eat nothing but potatoes for like 200 years and then most of them died because of the big bad potato famine?

ok, so my dad cooks something unbelieveable
so he takes the leftover soup, puts it on the frying pan, adding a lot of pepper, onion, garlic and tomatoes, and when it starts to boil, he adds flour (or potato starch) into "this" and some salt and pepper
he boils it until its very thick, porridge-like consistency and when it is "ready" he adds ketchup, mustard and a shitload of mayonnaise
so, he eats it right from the pan(with bread), and while he eats this, he says "oh shit damn" very quietly
after he eats this, he goes in the toilet for like 2-3 hours, and after him the toilet smells like shit for a week
i need help guys

>>9432265
It sounds like he has food neophobia

>>9440106
Do it. Make a cook along thread or something.

>>9450926
"nothing but" is a stretch, but there's a reason that the traditional Japanese currency unit is a bushel of rice (enough to feed a farmer for a year on nothing but that and forage/household garden). High-density starches go a long long way if you're not worried about quality of life.

>>9444445

>>9448284
oi, doesn't he realize he is getting so fat?

>>9450977
>and while he eats this, he says "oh shit damn" very quietly
absolutely lost. honestly though, it didnt sound too bad until the condiments

>>9434896
All the normal kids at my school would do this to their friends to trays after they were done eating to piss them and the teachers off

>>9436136
I eat cookies every day I'm not that fat I weigh 138pounds I'm a little fat am I fat?

>>9453169
I lost my shit even though I read your post first, I wasn't planning on coming to /ck/ but I'm glad I did

>>9450977
>after he eats this, he goes in the toilet for like 2-3 hours, and after him the toilet smells like shit for a week
I'm fucking crying from laughter
The idea that someone would routinely cook a meal that makes this happen is too much

>>9436892
This just makes me sad, I don't like the idea of making fun of a loving mother, or anyone really who is happy and thinks they're good at something, the idea of shattering someone's happieness destroys me inside

>>9453273
>I weigh 138pounds I'm a little fat am I fat?
doesnt really work like that, mate. you need to include height; you could either be auschwitz mode, normal, or direly in need of a diet/exercise

>>9453273
https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm
Find out now!

>>9453294
I'm not making fun of her I'm just venting. Getting offended when I put salt and pepper on some meal she has made is honestly one of the most irritating things I've experienced.

>>9444445
>dubbed anime
Damn awful

>>9453290
you need that meal that makes you go 'oh shit damn'

>be 14
>gym class
>one class mate is really fat,greassy and gross
> he never take part in class
>gym teacher argues with him, pretty heated
>lunch time
>burgers for lunch !
> just about to eat when another teacher confronts gross fatso about gym class
>tells the elephant he will fail class
> elephants starts crying
> keeps stuffing his mouth with hamburgers
>atleast 60 students looking at him many laughing
>he gets up to leave
> no wait !
>He gets in lunch line again
Grabs four more burgers
> walks and sits down in a corner crying and eating hamburgers alone.

I'll never forget him talking a big bite and ketchup spilling down on his shirt while he sobs.

>>9453544
Sounds like he eats when he's stressed

>>9453615
That's kind of a depressing story desu

had a fat friend of mine post this about his new diet, he fucking sauteed cucumbers in ranch

>>9453698

>>9453620
It was like scene out a movie. But hey he had Friends and wasnt bullied after this so I guess that something.

>>9432265
My roommate eats instant noodles/ramen every single day for each meal. Im worried.

>>9439907
Lol, I used to eat this when I came home shitfaced from parties as a teenager. With a slice of toast as a bun too.

i bet some of you guys did this too
>take a chip
>take a cup of cola/pepsi
>dip into the endless ocean of cola/pepsi
>get the chip
>eat it

Back in middle school when Reesus bites were still around, I'd melt them in a bowl in the microwave and proceed to eat it with a spoon like soup.

I also have this thing where I like to titrate the temperature on everything to get it just right so I tend to freeze most drinks and let them thaw or heat things way too hot and let them cool down.

I was 10 or so and made scambled eggs.
I remembered where the tv cook adds a pinch of sugar into the sauce so "the taste intensifies".
Spray some sugar into the eggs.
Hmmm that is not enough.
Spray some more.
Think 'more sugar more intesified flavor'
End up with a huge mountain of sugar.
In the pan it goes.
Wow it looks actually pretty good.
Eat it.
Vomit.
I have never eaten such a disgusting meal until now. 25 btw

>>9437765
that's not brown sauce you absolute mong, kys american pig

>>9446545
waow, with that mindset, enjoy being the victim of domestic abuse

>>9432514
Woyzeck?

>>9436892
>'she thought it tasted fine'
so she's the main character of the world?

>>9454734
kek
they're completely different.

>>9448415
thats because its bepor mayonaise, i

>>9453698
this makes me irrationally upset

>>9443606
wtf is this guy talking about?

>>9450977
>while he eats this, he says "oh shit damn" very quietly
Haha holy shit dude

>>9435916
does anyone have the screencap of this story?
It went something like
>be broke
>find $20 on ground
>buy taco bell box with 30 tacos for $20
>Refrigerate tacos and eat one every day for a month
and the first reply was
>"Does that mean at the end of the month you ate a 30 day old taco?"

>>9453544
thats sad

>>9436892
Can somebody link the Marie video?

This is a hot dog topped with mac and cheese and bacon on a garlic bread bun. When I said Americans should eat shit and die I didn't mean it literally.

>>9437773
Comfy. Add some cheap dried parmesan from a can and i'm on board

>>9438692
Get tha fawk outta heeeya

>>9432514
Bane?

>>9456796
OBSESSED

>>9440030
>mmmhhmm

>>9432265
Does your friend speedrun video games?

>>9453294
You're a good person, Anon.

>>9432265
Man, now that is just depressing. Just depressing.

>>9440440
You don't know what autism is. You should stop posting because you're embarassing yourself more with each post.

>>9434430
lmfao

>>9437464
I have watched this four times. Each time, I paused it, made cheesy fries, and then resumed

>>9432255
You surely meant electrolyte sauce, friendo.

>>9443510
BCfag whose dad was in the forest industry.Fuck the provincial NDP.