/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I wonder how many times you can watch it before it stops being funny

>>9444274
2.
Now let's see some jack webums

>>9444276
I will report all jacks, they are a derail

*reposts 20 webms from the other thread*
*pizza ice cream webm*
*cake icing machine webm*
*jack webm*
*jack webm*
*meat slicer machine webm*
*burnt piece of meat webm*
*meat slicer machine webm*
*meat slicer machine webm*
*squids getting stabbed in their stupid fucking face webm*
*jack webm*
*jack webm*
*jack webm*
*jack webm*
*mexicans putting random trash in a bowl and calling it food webm*

Does anyone have the salted elbow one? Salt brains is his name i believe

>>9444314
I don't get it, when does he put on the leather jacket and sun glasses and start killing people (or alternatively, dancing) like all those other 3rd world movies.

>>9444314
Wait if he's deaf how did he hear whatever it was that happened to her?

>>9444331
damn...

>>9444331
wow thanks for spoiling the twist ending

>>9444276
Jack is haraam, do not post

>>9444331
you don't need to hear to feel vibrations

>>9444377

>>9444399
Why can't mexicans stop doing this

>>9444406
is that chef john?

Looking for Cake ideas.

So /ck/, today is my birthday, might as well make a cake with my parents while we live, I was thinking of doing this
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/12/gingerbread-buche-de-noel-from-baking-chez-moi-dorie-greenspan.html

PIC related.

But since I am fan of chocolate I was thinking of something like the sacher cake but with blackberry jam instead.

Also, I wanted to give it a design of a videogame cake. But I don't know which, going to post some ideas.

>>9444364
>filename

Great

>>9444407
For a serious answer, because of American capitalism. Kind of like how Coca Cola is cheaper than water in some backwater African vistas, Ramen and Corn Chips are cheaper than actual food staples south of the border.

Why they dress them up so retardedly, I can only speculate.

>>9444408
How could you tell?

>>9444314
>le generic sad story faec
fuck off

>>9444295
fucking disgusting desu. might as well just dump a bag of sugar down your throat

>>9444474
fuck you

>>9444482
FUCK OFF WITH YOUR REDDIT TIER DESSERTS

>>9444495

>>9444500
"That'll be $200"

>>9444507
Think you missed a 0 son

>>9444507
>"plus tip"

>>9444314
How did she died
Did she try killing herself because her father was a deaf mute?

>>9444507
>triggered cause they're poor
lmaoing @ u

>>9444331
He smelled the blood. Guy is Chinese Daredevil

>>9444364
Whoa those almonds are really in high gear, good work.

>>9444550
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seolYuhGVvY

>>9444564
Do doctors in Thailand really let you give so much blood that you die?

>>9444563
Not those dead 2 at the bottom.

>>9444406

>>9444412
You're retarded. Mexico even has chains that only do this.
Like a Subway but for snackfood covered in sauce.

>>9444295
*cums*

>>9444377
>not pouring in a circular motion to make "petals" more closely bloom

>>9444408
no, it's Jack, look how undercooked it is

>>9444671
>undercooked
faggot, I bet you like your steak "well done" and with ketchup

>>9444685
Meal of Kings

>>9444295
Why would you want to eat melted ice cream?

>>9444500
>"Did I really just pay $500 for some pieces of candy and chocolate sauce I have to scrape off a table?"

>>9444314
The /f/ version is better.

>>9444562
kek

>>9444295
Huge mess.

>>9444399

>>9444618
He died?

>>9444507
Aren't you forgetting something?

>>9444474
You can't tell how much sugar is in it and it's probably meant to be split between multiple people

>>9444992
It's atleast 1500 calories of pure beetus

>>9444281
doing god's work

>>9444550
apparently he was molesting her if you watch the entire thing

>>9444500
Once he finished I would laugh, shake my head without saying a word, get up and walk straight out without paying the bill, and no tip.

>>9444500
Are you meant to scrape that shit straight off the table? The cleaners must hate him.

>>9444364
>overactivating your almonds

>>9445206
They put a mat down, it's just like eating off a giant plate.

>>9445213
Except worse in every way
Try eating chocolate sauce from material that moves with your cutlery. It's dumb enough eating chocolate sauce from a plate.

>>9445237
what the hell, it takes this guy way too long to stuff a weenie into some bread

>>9445279
If he just rammed it in there like some 14yr old virgin then all the ketchup and mustard would gush out. Gotta be gentle with the penetration

>>9445226

it doesn't move with your cutlery, it's a heavy mat

>>9444507
Not that you could afford it.

>>9444257
did she fired?

>>9444416
He isn't hovering over it in frame, and the food looks great.

John is my fucking spirit animal.

>>9445365
Look at the camera position.

Its a staged thing for a show.

>>9444257
At least it wasn' t soup.

fuck am i going to have to learn how to make webm and go searching the internet for food videos if i want new content

>>9445368
>John is my fucking spirit animal.
>>>/tumblr/

>>9444624
jesus christ, he's created a monster

>>9445374
oh good.

>>9444624
That can't possibly be good.

>>9445337
I want to know why they decided the tolerances on that bread fleshlight had to be so tight.
>come on down and see our artisanal ketchup queef disaster!

>>9445520
Cuz they're Asians. They're scrutenous about everything

>>9445631
>scrutenous

>>9445374
>Its a staged thing for a show.
source? judging from their reactions it doesn't look staged at all

>>9444624
>strachetta di pollo
are we just ignoring the fact that he's translating "tendies" into guido-speak to look fancy?
also, vomit.jpg

>>9445672
Obviously he's not Asian.

>>9445737
he's from a country in asia judging from the language

>>9444378
...and yet you do need to feel to hear vibrations

>>9445746
He's not from one of those good Asian countries which is why they are separated as Asian and Shitskin.

>>9445425
Do it anon, we could use some more variety. Most people seem to use webm for retards, but if you want to use the command line like a hacker here's the basics: https://wiki.installgentoo.com/index.php/WebM#The_basic_command

>>9444624
thats just irresponsible

>>9445705
thats literally the goal of acting

>>9445989
This is /r/oddlysatisfying!

>>9444295
Like when I have my first coffee shit of the day.

>>9444500
The definition of pretentious.

>>9445237
We call this a "French hotdog" in Denmark.

>>9445989
>Ideal for vulnerable meat mass

>>9445993
Now i know what slime they use. Gross

>>9444406
looks good...but where's the catsup?

>>9444295
That looks like what comes out when you pop a big ass cyst, not appetizing in the least

>>9444399
idk guys I feel like I'd totally try it.
it's like the Taco Town ultimate taco but in real life.

>>9445705
In all honesty, why do you think a camera would be at that one spot aiming at such a small vantage, if not for the point of a bit?

You really think they're trying to use 200+ cameras in 1 restaurant?

>>9446156
it could be a cropped portion from a larger field of view

>>9444295
I gagged

>>9446203
At that resolution?

>>9444412
This is a load of bullshit. This is not a dish, is just trash food that shit people eat on occasion like Americans eat their deep fried butter sticks and their deep fried Cokes and whatever other monstrous concoctions.

>>9446209
in the OP? the resolution isn't that great really, though I realize that could just be since it was converted to a webm

I'm not saying it's not staged, but I'm not sure it is either, that's why I asked for a source

>>9445746
I'm actually a burger but I'll take that as a compliment

>>9446214
>deep fried coke
>not cusine

>>9445237
>lewd hotdogs

>>9446252

fucking turks can't into original german-turkish kebab

>>9444399
Cancer: the dish

>>9446300
fucking disgusting.

>>9445731
>the whole world is the united states of america
are we ignoring the fact that you're an ignorant cunt and the video could have been filmed in fucking italy for all you know?

>>9446331
>tendies is an american term

>>9446297
ohhhh lawwddd

>>9444307

*posts same tired criticism without posting any OC*

>>9446304
his spatula looks like a fucking children's toy

>>9446315
how?

>>9444295
Funny. Something about the resolution, lighting and framing fuck up the perspective. Makes that thing looks about the size of a shoe box and might cause nausea for some people.
Fucked up perspective, not even once.

>>9444403
how the fuck does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

>>9446349
Anything looks like a toy in children's hands.

>>9446297
Holy fuck women are disgusting

>>9446376
Its fake

>>9446300
I think I'd rather have monkey head soup

>>9444314
why the fuck would she kill herself

fucking selfish bitch

>>9446297
Roasties

>>9444399
>supreme nachos with corn, cheese, mayo, hot sauce, and a bit of lime

the only thing I see wrong with this is the ramen

>>9444281
You don't really have a lot going on in your life do you?

Watch Jack dipping a corn dog into a canister to apply batter, and boiling it in oil. Watch and learn.

>>9446304
Jesus Christ this man could fuck up a bowl of cereal

>>9446297

>>9446454
Maybe, but I bet he can punctuate.
Retard.

>>9444364
Are those alley-almonds?!

>>9446482
Maybe if you weren't retarded you wouldn't have put a comma before the but.

>>9444364
I wonder if this would help to remove the skins after blanching almonds...

>>9446297
god i wish that were me

>>9446533
the hotdog or the waitress?

>>9444412
RETARD ALERT WEEE WOOO WEEE WOOO

>>9446535
the customer

>>9446514
>retarded
Says the guy who compulsively watches YouTube 'celebrities'.
Neck yourself.

>>9444624
coulda just stopped at the porchetta and prosciutto but no he had to keep adding shit on like a fucking mongo

since no one is posting any food webms I guess we'll have to reach into the vault and pull one out

>>9446541
I'm not even the same person. Neck yourself for trying to criticize grammar though.

>>9446547
i bet using those tools make you feel like a ninja

>>9445202
it's a fucking insurance commercial you mong

>>9446547
>Jack
>undercooked meat
Shocker

>>9446482
>defending king autism
>by nitpicking grammar
Kek

>>9446252
>here, i'll wrap it up so you won't get your hands dirty
>oh wait i put the paper on the cutting board so it's all wet and covered with spices

>>9446482
You signed your comment as Retard.

>>9444364

>>9446596
I didn't see any signature.
Might want to get a dictionary.

>>9446482

do any of y'all ever make a dish and have it turn out to be a bit juicier than you intended or expected it to be?

>>9446541

>>9446561
yeah a really dark insurance commercial

>>9446620
what the fuck Jack

>>9446631
To be fair, insurance is the business of telling you all these horrible things that can happen to you, hence why you should sign up.

>>9446620

>>9446596
kek he actually did

>>9446606
Here you go, fresh from Merriam-Webster.

>chef guarantees to manhandle every ingredient

>>9446656

looks fucking terrible

>>9446656
>can i have the fries on the side instead
>"no"

>>9446656
started off good, but essentially killed itself

>>9445202
>>9446631
kekd

>>9445237
>america is the great satan
>lets copy every facet of their existence, but half assed

>>9445989
Those tubes of meat whirling is oddly melancholy

>>9446725
Wow I instantly hated this guy and prayed he choke on a bone

>>9446725
That's not Jack's son? Or is this a meme

>>9446734
Jack's sprayed his load into welcoming fertile pusses more than once

>>9446300
Why is there always some mystery sauce in a fucking plastic bag

>>9446746
>read the directions reeeeeee

>>9446759
Can Ja/ck/ read anything besides the Bible?

>>9446734
ja/ck/s first son

he abandoned him because he smoked pot and admitted to choking him in an interview

>>9446125
exactly this

>>9444624
This looked really great until they got to the bacon and the rest of the stuff they added.

>>9446798
>>9446746

If you're serious then I've learned something horrifying today... there is more than one Jackspawn

>>9446807
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUvYcUbxzYI

>>9446805
is a cheeseless life even worth living?

>>9444314
These Asian sad shorts are so over dramatic they're almost funny

>>9444399
>americans complaining about the fastfood of other countries.

>>9446822
did this retard seriously just kill his tastebuds for youtube views

>>9446813
Jesus... I had no idea the rabbit hole went this deep. I think I'll stop here.

>>9445205

>>9446813
what the hell i was not expecting jack to be bald

>>9446788
Naked apron, my favorite.

>>9446833
No, he lost his sense of taste after having the flu or some shit. He says he now prefers foods that are quick or easy to eat and don't require prolonged chewing because everything tastes like a piece of gum that's completely lost its flavor.

>>9446864
wow

>>9444257
I swear these threads give me the worst deja vu. Browsing through looking for replies to posts I made a day earlier only realizing it's an entirely different thread but with the exact same images and replies.

>>9446365
Why are ppl putting tomato sauce on meatloaf. This happend when I was in America aswell. Why? groundbeef spices and onions, then serve witch pickels, GRAVEY and potatoes

>>9446872
where do you think is a good place to find new content?

is there anything besides youtube thats worth checking

>>9446746
Holy shit, this one got me. Top kek

>>9446746
I love at the end when the cap flies off and both hands furiously go after it.

>>9446872
feels like home, doesn't it?

>>9446848
He wears hats to hide it but yes he is quite bald. His brother is too

>>9446366
that's how they punish people in agrabah

>>9444403
how does he prevent people from just walking by and taking a stack of eggs?

im sure there are tons of poor around who would do that

>>9446882
get someone to make new webms..

>>9446914
ANIME IS REAL

>>9446910
shit, that's rough

>>9446883
better than raisins

>>9446883
Bee-read is delicious.

>>9446872
I'll try to make a few tonight.

>>9446797
I'll bet you anything whatever the fuck that guy is grilling tastes fucking incredible

>>9444624
>Mmm that looks great
>ooh grilled even better
>Oh another sandwhich cool
>hmm weird but ok sure
Closed it when he added it to the existing sandwhich

>>9446960
Well, this certainly explains why produce in Japan is super expensive
All the farmers are autists who keep throwing their shit out

>>9446977
Japan is the land of autism

>>9445205
>h..h-haHA!
>emphatically shakes his head, tipping his fedora and leaving a subtle cloud of dandruff in the air
>shuffles to move his chair, burdened by the extensive girth of his gynormous waist while asking for permission from the other people on the table
>e..excuse me.. c-could you please move aside?... t..thanks
>proceed to waddle towards the door
pssshh.... nothing personal, chef

>>9446977
That happens in other countries too. Even Clapistan ranks its produce and throws out the stuff that isn't as pretty. That's why there's been a big push for "Farm to Soup Kitchen". Japan's costs are also attributed to due to lack of landspace and the willingness to pay a premium on high quality products.

>>9446990
>touches the dough while playing with his cat
fucking disgusting

>>9444307
you missed surly king of the egg fort

>>9446304
How did he manage to undercook this?

>>9446990
lmao 2cat

>>9447032
please, that's cooked medium rare, my friend

>>9444331
He could fell the THUD of her hitting the floor. You can still feel vibrations when you're deaf, you just can't ascribe a note to them. Or hear ones that aren't typically strong enough to be bassy.

>>9446831
>American

>>9444416
I've seen that sauce vid.

>>9446920
He has a sawed-off shotgun in his booth

>>9445237
there's a fly at the end of the video
you'd think they'd reshoot for the commercial

>>9446304
that steak is super thin already, it would take just 3 or 4 minutes in total to get to medium well.

does he "fry" it on low temperature? he doesnt get any brown on the steak either so that's what i guess he does.

>>9446725

Look how many people are obese in this one shot.

Incredible.

>>9444507
you just wish poorfag.
this you won't get under 370$ + tip.

>>9446605
I still wish I knew where that was because I'd want to eat there.

>>9446725
why would you let yourself get filmed like that
nobody looks good eating a chicken wing

>>9446314
oh god this guy creeps me out so badly

>>9446297
>muh dicc

>>9446482
Retard. Isn't a sentence.

>>9447127
>2 people

>>9446879
Because it's fucking delicious

>>9446365
A good meatloaf is better than sex

>>9446575
It's not undercooked. It's just rare!

>>9446721
>being this insecure

>>9446907
And then it becomes vomit.

>>9446734
That's Garrett, his first son. As was mentioned he was kicked out of the house but he came back for Christmas 2016 so I guess they reconciled. He makes pretty good money selling jewelry or bongs or something I think.

>>9446783
He used to shill audiobooks and I think he did some kind of "interview" with his own brother where he talked about how reading and studying history is a waste of time.

>>9446384
they are still disgusting

>>9447134
not sure where this place is, but kruez's market in lockhart texas is similar. fucken god tier BBQ

>>9444731
Because melted icecream is another thing called creme anglais. dipshit.

I am aroused.

>>9447141

mark wiens
He has a YT channel
I like the restaurants he visits and he always orders alot. But his face and commentary are hard to watch

>>9446907
>leaving the bottle upside down in the glass

wow so eccentric and fun

>>9446907
Garbage.

>>9446997
i didnt put him in bc i like him

>>9446883

>>9446297
wtf i hate women now

>>9444295
Only Americans would like this

>>9446314
If I would ask for a knife and a fork at that place would they kick me out while mumbling whitu piggu under their breath? Chopsticks make my hand cramp.

>>9446929
w-what do you mean?

>googles
raisins and insects wtf please tell me its fake

>>9445205
>>9446054
>>9444746

>hurr durr this 3 michelin star restaurant really sux only idiots would eat there

remind me what you ignoramuses are doing on a food and cooking forum

>>9446865
what is that shit? deepfried eggs?

>>9446514
The comma there is actually appropriate.

>>9447564
its the impracticality of eating the dish is what makes it absurd.

It's a gimmick presentation which adds absolutely nothing to the flavor of the dish.

"its the flavor that holds the memory" is something that should guide all chefs.

>>9447211
>reading and studying history is a waste of time
That explains a lot.

>>9446605
>>9447134
Pretty sure that's Franklin's in Austin

>>9444314
fug men I miss my dad ;_;

>>9447515
>Let me just negate the purpose of ice spheres in the first place.

>>9446620
fakin joocy

>>9446626
is it possible this guy has down syndrome and he just hasn't been tested?

>>9447515
Finally! A use for my tiny hammer.

>>9446805
I love how she just throws it in there.

>>9447515
for what purpose

>>9447799
smoke infused ice

>dem triple dubs

>>9446864
Surely he didn't lose his sense of taste AND his sense of smell?
Smell is a big part of what people consider flavour.

>>9447799
>>9447515
Because it looks cool? Coctails made a big move towards "showmanship" in the victorian era. That's when people started lighting shit on fire and all that.
Sometimes this stuff is just added to make the drink into a tiny show for fun.

>>9447332
What is up with girls and cheesecake

>>9447515
Can I have my drink yet?

>>9447829
>ordering something like this when you're an alchoholic
You know you can just order bourbon neat, right? It's not illegal.

>>9447690
Steak goes better with milk

>>9447825
Cheesecake is the most rich and decadent of cakes so it's more fun to treat yourself with. It's basically cheese, eggs, and sugar, so it's much more rich than a flour-based cake.

I'm a guy but I love ricotta cheesecakes, don't really know anyone else who likes them as much as I do.

>>9447842
I can barely eat half a slice of cheesecake, it's just too rich. To see someone down a whole cake is heresy

>>9447825
That don't look like no cheesecake, boy.

>>9444624
everyone always says this is overkill fuck you all id eat it, im sure its amazing and probably more than your entire days worth of food

>>9447690
>>9447936
Facebook was a mistake.

>>9447678
I've seen people leave comments in his videos about how glad they are that Jack can show the world that people with down syndrome can be successful

>>9447834
>It's not illegal
Not yet, but soon our millennial overlords will make it illegal. We will be rationed 1 avocado toast and one ice cube meme whiskey

>>9446960
>"1 pack is $40 because I'm the only one growing these"

Well no shit. No one else is doing that nonsense because people buy strawberries because they taste like fucking strawberries, not because they look cool.

>>9446914
Coffee-chan is best robot.

>>9447828
What an hipster prick spit on his food

>>9446620
that's not juicy, that's a taco having an actual piss
how can there possibly be that much liquid in there

>>9445989
>Ideal for vulnerable meat mass
>Homemade look and feel of end product

This is some soylent green shit.

>>9446914
That must be a decade old by now. Still pretty cute, though.

>>9446654
How do you get your arrows so neat in Paint?

>>9447515
Glad to see I'm not the only one who enjoys a glass of flat cola garnished with a Christmas ornament.

>>9444364

Holy shit I laughed at this + filename way too hard.

>>9446822
i cant taste anything due to sinus polyps

>>9447120
>does he "fry it on low temperature?"

Yeh he actually does. Just watch any of his videos. He never turns his stoves up to anything worth cooking with.

>>9448147
Why does Japan make such disgusting looking pizza? Why is anime so dumb?

>>9447690
This webm sums up 90% of the channel

>>9447679
I love it.

>>9447810
He has to heavily season things in order to get any enjoyment out of food because smell is all he's working with.

>>9448041
>people buy strawberries because they taste like fucking strawberries, not because they look cool.
Not in Japan. Pic related costs $22 per berry.

>>9448177
I'm sorry for your loss.

>>9446297
this is the first thing to make me hard on this website in like 3 years

>>9446619
>moves his head forward instead of moving his hand to his mouth.
Fucking hell I love Jack, he's the Dobson of cooking.

>>9448229
Fun fact: that clip is in a show reel he sent to the food network to get his own show.

>>9446797
/diy/ here. Dude is grilling with a putty knife.

>>9448262
He sure is. Putty knives and spackling knives are common cooking utensils used by people that don't give a fuck what they're supposed to be for. In some applications, they even work better than proper culinary tools.

>>9448262
And? Fundamentally there isn't much difference.

>>9447051
Nigga, are you seriously gonna eat dollar store meat medium rare? Anything below well done means food poisoning in this case.

>>9446297
jesus fucking christ

>>9447032
Absolute and undeniable peak performance

>>9446597
Physics are telling him "don't cook anymore, idiot"

>>9446597

Is he trying to batter that chicken in non-Newtonian fluid?

>>9448285
what the fuck

>>9447868
But the filename says it is

>>9446209
It's a restaurant monitored by TSA and NSA using the latest 20K surveillance camera from Teledyne Dalsa.

>>9448655
What ya gonna trust, boy, a fuckin' filename or your own god given eyes?

>>9446297
this is why you don't piss off the waitress lol

>>9445374

it wasn't staged, i was there and it was real

>>9446914
Is this a puppet? How does it work

>>9447298
Creme anglais is custard, you nonce.

>>9445237
>that fly buzzing around the food at the end

What's the best tool for making webm?

>>9447374
>>I like the restaurants he visits and he always orders alot. But his face and commentary are hard to watch
agreed 100%...

>>9449337
ffmpeg

>>9448285
hwo are they sooooo dry and brittle

>>9449352
Ill try it. Thank you.

>>9445237
The way he slowly pushed the dog in the bread

>>9448187
gtfo

>>9447936
Do Japanese people eat flowers?

>>9447332
And then she'll go and vomit it all back up. My teeth hurt just watching this

>>9447690
>start with dairy
>then add some dairy
>boil then simmer
>add more dairy
>put in dish, don't forget to add dairy
>broil
>serve with milk probably
Barf.png

>>9447690
Everything up to the first addition of Parmesan is just fettucini alfredo, right?

>>9448370
>eating dollar store meat in the first place

>>9446304
the problem with those 1 dollar steak is they are heavily salted (+other preservatives shits)

It appears that a lot of people have getting sick while eating those cheaps steaks (especially if its cooked "rare" )
but jack has a strong stomach i guess

MY main problem is , as always, the way he throw the steak in the pan,
like he seems afraid of the hot butter
BUT if only he could understands that he just have to delicately put the meat in the pan....

i hate this cunt

>>9446620
it looks like some sort of magic trick

like those magicians that pour huge amount of salt from their hands

impressive

>>9446897

>>9448116
I wouldn't know, but it's simple in greenshot, some freeware screenshot tool.