/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Not like it matters, you could squeeze the juice out of the bag by hand already.

>>9373354
lmao that's what you get for buying a shitty unitasker.
Next time get a blender like a real person.

It seems like a decent idea if it wasn't a DRM shitbox for 400 fucking buckaroos.

surprised they made it this long

>>9373374
You can get Chinese knockoffs for that.
They even come with open-ended bags so you can use your own fruit.

>>9373354
No surprise. The idea itself was retarded but with clever marketing the Juicero could have survived as a hipster status symbol.
But after all the bad press this target group was gone and the juice is simply way too expensive for regular people.

>>9373354
kek

Everything that is wrong with modern Silicon Valley all in one product.

Just as planned

Now that the competition is dead, Juicilicus will be able to finish development on that pine nut annealer for my J3000.

>>9373388
That juiser thing looks like exactly what it should have been from the start
>choice of pre-made or DIY recipes
>choice of reusable or one-time bags

>>9373354
>DRM
>juice
Explain.

>3 years
> $100 million
>btfo by Bloomberg
If bulletproof coffee can make it as a stsrtup Juicero shouldn't've had such a hard time

>>9373507
Why re-invent the wheel at all? We already have juicers that work great. It is not new technology.

>>9373520
That device has DRM inside. It only works with the special "juice bags" you buy from its maker. Those bags contain RFID tags which prevent the juicer from working with other brands of product or DIY alternatives.

>>9373520
>juicer only works with certain type of prebagged fruit/veg
>bag has unique QR code
>juicer scans QR code
>juicer won't juice if QR code is invalid or has been previously used

>>9373527
It was touted as the Keurig of smoothies, if that makes sense

>>9373507
My girlfriend got gifted a used Keurig machine. I instantly rejected it, stating we have a percolator and loads of coffee already.
Never once did I buy a kcup. I bought a reusable kcup on Amazon for $5 and you just scoop coffee into that and it's good for one cup. I still thought it was bullshit, but at least I'm not buying kcups.

It ended up being great. I can make myself a cup in the morning, the strength I like, in less than two minutes. She likes operating this machine too, so whenever I ask for a cup she is happy to oblige. I end up stealing a ton of fancy kcups from work regularly anyhow.
Overall I would say it's a good thing.

>>9373527
>Why re-invent the wheel at all?
The same reason you buy bread from a bakery instead of flour and yeast.

>>9373539
Sure, there's a labor savings between baking bread vs buying pre-made bread. But that juicer you pictured is no better than extant technology. There are no benefits like in your bread example.

>>9373354
Wait what, I thought it was an actual juicer. But it was just a thing that squeezed a bag? Is that for real?

>>9373539
>The same reason you buy a bread machine*

>>9373354
it was always intended to fail, it's a tax write off

>>9373534
I had one of these machines too. It broke down after about a year. Plus all the cleaning they require and having to scoop your own coffee into the reusable cups was such a pain and a mess. I spilt more coffee then i could get in! The cups are too expensive and the coffee was too weak. Its not a machine for the coffee lover.

>>9373539
Yeah bruh I sure love getting up at 4am

>>9373551
Bag juicers are a thing. The technology is old as fuck.

How do you think people made juice before electric appliances? Put fruit in a cloth sack. Stick in a press. Smash the fuck out of it.

>>9373563
No, but I mean it seems the bags they sold were pre-made, with the juice already liquid in it. Like, it was just a device that pressed a bag of liquid juice for you, not even a juicer.

>>9373577
Supposedly the bags contain fruit sealed inside rather than just juice. But I'm not exactly sure.

>>9373354
How many sales could they have possibly gotten?

>>9373561
Agreed. I am not a coffee lover by any means. My coffee is actually two cups, very strong with 4 splenda, no dairy. I drink it for the slight buzz I get and mainly to kickstart my nootropic.

>>9373581
They contain masticated fruit and vegetables. They're sufficiently beaten up that you can squeeze juice out of the bag with your hands

>>9373582
An embarrassingly high number

>>9373629
What's the advantage of that over buying a bottle/can of juice?

>>9373636
you'll feel obligated to get your value out of your shitty juicer so you'll drink healthy juice consistently

>>9373642
Man that's smart, no wonder those silicon valley dudes make the big bucks.

>>9373532
At least with a Keurig you can put whatever coffee you want in it as long as you buy the refillable plastic kcup bullshit

>>9373357
it matters because now you can't even get the bags of juice.

>>9373534
>Overall I would say it's a good thing.

The environmental clusterfuck from people throwing those plastic k-cups in the trash is not overall a good thing.

>>9373534
or you could just get a normal coffee machine with a timer built in
put your shit in at night, set time for it to go off
it will be ready when you wake up

>>9373697
But then how will I get juice now?!

>>9373788
>Implying the environment is real.

>>9373354
Juicer by the (((juice)))

>never cared about this
>still don't care about this
It's not like the adverts for that product were ever misleading. People just really wanted to pay top dollar for a bag squeezer.

brb guys I'm going to design a DRM almond activator

It's going to have DRM water and DRM almonds.

>>9373788
Not only that but most recycling centers won't even attempt to recycle them. They're a huge waste

>>9373690
Not anymore. My fiance has one of the newer ones and it can only use official k cups. Cucked again,

>has to connect to the internet, authenticate your password, and check to see if you are paid up to date before turning on the low powered motor that squeezes out the fruit juice from Ecuador

>>9373463

I guess you haven't heard of the tovala yet. It's basically an easy-bake oven for adults with a smart phone app.

>>9374000
They'll accept the individual components (plastic cup, metal foil[coffee goes in the compost obviously]) but there's no machine to separate them automatically and like hell if anyone bothers to separate them at home or work.

>>9373902
How do I invest in this brilliant idea?

>>9374208
You need to be Jewish

Are we still getting this at least?

>>9373902
>tiny laser-etched QR codes on each almond
FUND IT

>>9373697

>oh no i can't buy my $10 bags of juice to squeeze to make juice

>>9373354
Now you'll have to go back to the old way of juicing!

>>9374337
Isn't that basically a Replicator? Or does it not print molecule by molecule?

>>9375491
It's an automated piping bag that shits out dough and chocolate.

>>9373527
>>9373531
So, you do exactly the same thing that "hackers" did with the Keurig DRM -- you cut out the RFID tag or bar code (whichever it is) and you stick it in front of the sensor with some tape.

Voila, DRM-free instant-coffee maker and juice dispenser.

>>9374029
Is that the "2.0" machine with the bar code scanner inside? You just cut off the bar code from a "genuine" K-cup and tape it in front of the scanner. Voila, no more DRM.

If they've come out with a newer generation machine that doesn't work that way, then she's SOL.

Someone link the AvE vidjeyo talking about this thing. Skookem as fuck.

>>9377459
>juicer won't juice if QR code is invalid or has been previously used
what part of reading comprehension don't you understand
it's always-online DRM and it refuses to work if offline.
Once the ID of a bag has been used anywhere, it's unusable anywhere else. It's HMAC'ed too and they're truly unique. This isn't like the Keurig - This is DRM done "right".

>>9377545
>HMAC'd basically-/dev/urandom QR codes as DRM
Time to ban "intellectual" property.

>>9377545
Nathan Myrhvold is that you?

>>9377563
there's nothing QR about it, it's RFID/"NFC". I had a go at dumping the bags and they're just MIFARE PLUS tags but they're unique, not just the (N)UID bytes. They have on-block storage encrypted as well as the tag implemented crypto. It's basically easier to just hook into the machine and have the RFID reader reply "yes" for every scan.
>>9377567
No, I'm a scandinavian security engineering student.

hmm, what could i say to you to help you through this difficult moment in your life, where you made a decision and are now dealing with its consequences...?

its incredibly overengineered. check out the vids on its interior by a guy with tools to open it. its crazy tight inside, all milspec millwork and molding. like how a hemoglobin molecule cradles a teensy weensy O2 molecule.

>>9373551
the contents were partially broken down, so that all you needed to do is press it and the liquid came out. and remember: juice is the liquid elements AND the sugar, minus the fiber and any other nutrients retained in the pulp. so really no good for you at all. juice is always inferior to the whole food. what you want is a Champion juicer that just pulverizes it whole, creating more of a paste or thick liquid.

>>9377678
and still, all it does is squeeze a bag.

couldn't you literally just squeeze the bag yourself without a machine?

>>9379565
I think the bags contain cut of fruit/vegetables rather than just actual juice. It's still a stupid concept.

Reminder than Juicero now hold the patent on juice and it is illegal to sell or make juice in the Continental United States without leasing the technology from them.

>>9377678
Silicone Valley can't design anything. Stupid fucks know nothing about manufacturing.

>>9373388
hahahah nice cute elephant hahaha

someone linked me this vid a few weeks ago, i think it was on /v/.
it's long, but it got me hooked on this dude's videos and is a good look at how over-engineered this thing really is.
anyway
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ

>>9379582
>>9379565
people have squeezed the bags at home successfully.

>>9373902
Market it as brain food

Will they keep the servers running until all existing bags of juice expire or are some poor souls going to be left with bricked juice bags?

>>9379720
the bags expire within one week of arrival m8

>>9377584
>(((scandinavian))) (((security engineering))) (((student))).

nice try

>>9373534
or you could just a fucking french press

i tried a keurig with a reusable cup and it was a horrible experience

i also have used a tassimo and a $500 breville auto drip / grinder machine

they are all fucking stupid and pointless. i use the brevilles built in grinder and then remove the ground coffee and dump that in my french press. all you need is a good grinder and quality press. everything else is bullshit.

>>9379617
>Yo, Engineers make us a juice machine
>What's the budget?
>As much as you need

I like how it even has a meanwell driver.

>>9373354

His old juice store chain shut down in 2015:

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/05/fashion/organic-avenue-close.html?_r=0

>>9379739
But what if the bags expire and the juice squeezer can't access the servers that tell it whether the week is up?

>>9379810
Do you think the people who can afford to pay $1200 a year for juice are ever more than 2 minutes from a wifi signal?

>>9373361
Can't disagree with that.

>>9379828
A Wi-Fi signal does no good if your juicer gets a 404 error. In that situation will the juicer refuse to squeeze or will it default to squeezing icky juice?

>>9379720
>bricked juice bags
capitalism was a mistake

>>9377678
Link to vid?

>>9379854
It's full of DRM to stop people from pressing regular fruits, what do you think?

>>9379902
>Link to vid
Already in this thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ

PIRATES BTFO!!!

>>9379720
>>9379810
If it can't access the server, you won't get any juice. It's that simple, sadly.

>>9373858
But you can do so much more with a keurig than coffee. Tea, oatmeal, ramen, instant rice, hot chocolate. I can make my morning coffee and oatmeal from the same machine in less time whenever I please and don't need to let a coffee pot dictate my schedule.

>>9374029
I also have one of the new ones, it came with a reusable cup that I use all the time.

>>9375461
kek

who would be stupid enough to buy this in the first place?

>>9380298
I'm thinking the target market would need to be:
a) rich enough to afford the insane price
b) a tech geek who loves introducing computers where they don't belong
c) a health nut and/or pretentious foodie
d) has a disconnect with extant cooking processes. Has probably never sliced a vegetable in his life. Has never broken down a chicken. Has never once visited a farm, planted a garden, or picked a fresh veggie. Is most likely a big-city dweller who has never known life outside a small apartment.

Pretty small market segment if you ask me.

>>9373361
I'm a hard light hologram though!

>>9379720
>>bricked juice bags
Something went terribly wrong.

>>9380298
Hipster with access to daddies trust fund money.
See >>9379495.
That's why usually people that ge rich but not richie rich rich will be back into the poorhouse within 2 generations.

>>9379495
What a retard

>Juicero is a company that formerly made a device for fruit and vegetable juicing. The company's product was called the Juicero Press, a Wi-Fi connected juicer that uses single-serving packets of chopped fruits and vegetables sold exclusively by the company by subscription.

The fuck.....

>>9373354
>buying bags of juice

Most of the best nutrients you get from juicing are lost after only a few hours. The shit in those bags is nothing more than green tasting vitamin pills in liquid form now. Get an actually juicer and juice your stuff fresh. Drink it asap and you get everything you are looking for, no bags needed.

>DRM

Never ever buy shit that supports that Jewry.

>>9373361
A blender isn't a juicer.

>>9373523
It was reallly bad when the machines were reverse engineered to see what made them tick.

The short version is inside they were a super expensive nightmare of machined parts. It was if they'd been designed by the ghost of Casper Weinberger. Everything was hinging on the overpriced and DRM controlled 'juice subscription system' to recoup the losses. I figure the intended demographic was silicon valley pups but those guys already have nice, top of the line juicers. What I mean to say is 400 dollars can get you some really nice shit as far as juicers. Real ones and not a literal clamp that presses Capri Sun bags.

>>9373642
>healthy
>juice
Pick one.

>>9382547
>Most of the best nutrients you get from juicing are lost after only a few hours

You are the problem

>>9379720
>bricked juice bags
I laughed more at this than I should have.

>>9373527

>A fucking juice machine with DRM

What the actual fuck, what kind of literal retard buys this? Why not just buy a normal fucking juicer?

>>9383187
But didn't ya know juicing destroys MATTER ITSELF?

>>9382547
>A blender isn't a juicer.
You're right, a blender is superior.

>>9383219
this

>>9379495
She married a jew, and converted to Judaism.

Are you surprised?

>>9382480
She probably got payed to tweet that, being an 'influencer' and all.

I can't even fathom how this product actually got to market in the first place, let alone how anyone actually bought the fucking things....

the company is offering refunds https://www.extremetech.com/electronics/248141-juicero-ceo-offers-full-refunds-400-drmed-bagjuice-squeezer
go buy a vitamix like you should have in the first place. you can still be a faggot hipster juicerman...but you will have a tool you cna use to make other wonderful things besides weird juices.

>>9383336
How do you get that aliasing on your cakes?

>>9379600
A spitters a quitter.

This is the true cyberpunk future

>>9379916
You wouldn't download a juice

>>9373354
They probably had big Dream's for this piece of crap like entire new lines of juices, sponsored brand ones like Starbucks strawberry smoothies, a whole line of products and add on like the toast-ero drm toast that only works with their bread

I haven't heard of this, so I looked it up.

What the fuck is this shit.

Why the fuck does it need to connect to the internet? It's a fucking juicer, it's not gonna get any fucking upgrades digitally.

All it fucking does is hold the package and squeeze the juice out, which you can do with your fucking bare hands.

And it doesn't even work with third party shit, if you use your own DIY packet or some other random company's it'll refuse it.


After this, I looked up a generic juicer on Amazon. There was one for like 45-50 bucks, you just drop fruit in the thing and it smashes it up, extracts the juice on one side end, drops the rest of the pulp in the other end. Easy.


I'm actually pissed this exists, it's just so unfathomably stupid and the people who made it are stupid, the people who bought it are even more stupid, holy shit.

>>9384151
>Why the fuck does it need to connect to the internet?
To enforce DRM, that's why. The company obviously saw people hacking the DRM on those pod coffee machines so they decided to design their silly-ass gadget to prevent that.

>>9383216
It clearly ejects some in a pile off to the side unless you're mixing that back in

>>9379617
I was hoping someone posted this vijayo.
Here's the brute-force hack for this over-engineered press.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVmppyflS0

>>9379913
Fuckin love AvE and his talking hands. How he doesn't have millions of subscribers yet is beyond me.

>>9385615
AvE is fuckin' great.

>>9385629
>>9385615
Same,
Found him one day on /g/ and I was hooked.
His "how to stay motivated" vid is one of my faves and inspired me to go for a supervisory position. Didn't get it, but I'm not worried. I'm still just doing my best and even the guy that got the position counts on my experience and ideas.
>pic related
>those legendary hands

>>9373876
The old fashioned way

>>9374105
I'm not looking that up. It looks like it's an internet connected toaster oven and I know it's just going to piss me off

>>9373354
I think they issued refunds to everybody.

>>9385793
It's exactly that

>>9385793
Yeah, it'll piss you off. You're pretty much spot on. Scan package, insert components, cooks, assemble on plate. Fucking retarded. Round about $35/wkfor one person. $75 for two.

>>9377545
Each bag is unique AND they were date stamped. It would not process juice bags after their expiration date, which I think was about a week.