/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I just stare ahead at nothing in particular and chew my food in big, slow, open mouthed bites

>>9366945
Depends. Is it a really nice resturant? If not, do your thing.

>>9366945
You go in alone, but you aren't leaving alone.

>go in
>get seated
>take picture of waifu out
>place on the table across from you
>cry for a bit until food comes
>eat food
>leave with waifu

you look for any other loser in their alone and join up with them, a federation of untouchable slobs

I just like to come here and look through threads while eating out alone.

>>9366945
You sit and reflect on the choices you made to end up alone, probably at some greasy spoon at 3AM, tired and hungover.

Nobody talks, nobody looks at each other. You just sit and stare off in the distance trying to find some sort of meaning in an otherwise empty and lonely life.

i always try and talk to people around me but the world is full of assholes and people are generally rude

I always eat with porn stars so it's not an issue.

I saw a guy eating alone this morning. The fucking queer started reading a book he brought along with him

How pathetic.

>>9366999
yes I'm sure you have that webm saved because things are going so well for you

1) Make sure to dress like you're coming from work and just looking for a quick bite
2) Go during lull hours where there won't be much of a crowd
3) Request a table for 1, preemptively requesting a corner somewhere out of the way
4) Order your food as normal
5) Enjoy your meal while checking your phone every now and again to seem like you're busy
6) Avoid eye contact with any other customers
7) Pay for your meal (plus tip) and depart immediately while staring down at your phone the whole time

I usually pull off my fedora and remove my l*licon manga from the brim and read that while supping.

>>9367005
So lonely

I dress up in suit and tie and pretend I'm a jet setter business man. I have an app on my phone so I get a fake phone call and I pretend it's my wife, we have a small fight but come to an agreement, end the phone call with "I love you, pick me up from the airport at 7pm"
After this little show, people show respect and understanding towards me.

>go to chinese buffet at 6pm
>ask to fit in a corner booth by myself
>order a beer and pot of tea
>touch neither of them
>go and grab every single piece of sweet&sour chicken on a single plate
>spend the entirety of my meal trying to look people in the eyes especially people with children
>smile and lock eyes with anyone who notices until they eventually look away
I know it's deeply unsettling to people since it's something so far out of social norms, which makes it funny.

>>9366984
why would being alone make me sad. I sit and reflect on my success in ridding myself of annoying hangers-on and my independence

>>9366950
Kek

When I go out to eat by myself, I buy a shitty bouquet and keep looking at the door forlornly. About halfway through the appetizer I either give the waitress the bouquet and order booze or I ask the waiter to throw the flowers away and order an extra entree.

>>9366945
>rules
There are none: you're an adult (supposedly), so literally no one gives a shit about you eating alone.

Besides, going out to eat or hitting the bar by yourself every now and then and just soaking up the atmosphere can be fun.

>>9367013

I don't drink every night because I'm overwhelmed with friends or romance, I'll tell you that right now buddy.

It's a tough life.

>>9367024
Paying someone else to cook food for you doesn't seem like a successful life to me.

>>9367001
I was just joking man.

Eating out alone is the best way to meet different people.

I ate at a restaurant alone exactly once.

>good friend insomnia pays a visit
>7AM rolls around
>fuck it might as well get up
>hungry
>decide I want to go to my favorite restaurant for lunch
>only problem is that it is in the next town over and I have no car
>decide to walk
>walk 18km after being awake for 22 hours
>finally get to restauraunt
>closed on Sundays
>well fuck
>go to random close by place
>sit alone at a table and just people watch while waiting for food
>get some Belgium waffles
>walk through town a bit
>decide to go catch the bus back home
>wait an hour
>no bus
>find out the bus to my town only runs 3 times a day on Sundays
>would have to wait 4 hours for the bus
>decide to walk home
>legs feel like they are on fire
>get halfway
>legs feel like they have knives in them that are on fire
>get 80% of the way
>legs have ascended beyond mere locomotive appendages and become sentient beings capable of only feeling pain and fire
>back in home town
>2 blocks to go
>random person pulls over and asks if I need a ride somewhere
>my fucking legs when
>no thanks, I am almost there
>get home
>by this time I have been awake for over 30 hours and walked almost 40 km
>go to bed
>still can't sleep
>remember that I didn't even get to go to my favorite restaurant
>cry

>>9367035
maybe, but that has nothing to do with being alone though. Is it sad for people to eat at restaurants in groups? Because they're paying someone to cook for them too

The only excuse for eating alone is if you're facetiming your wife or girlfriend while you eat because you're on a business trip. Don't be pathetic.

>>9367082
I would so much rather be alone than fucking facetime my girlfriend while at a restaurant

>>9367083
That's why you're a forever alone virgin, Jason.

>>9367073
please make some friends that have vehicles.

>>9366995

I've met people like you. people don't enjoy talking to random fucking over-talkative people. people don't want to talk to you. you are being an asshole.

>>9367091
If it was true that a man needed to facetime his lady from a restaurant to have one, I would cheerfully be alone for the rest of my life

>>9366945
>tfw all the good restaurants near me have a "no singles" policy

>>9367145
>walk in
>ask for table of 2
>say your companion will be here any shortly
>order an appetizer while you "wait"
>tell the waiter that your companion will no longer be coming and order your meal
>if they ask you to leave then refuse to pay for apetizer if they are going to kick you out
>repeat at different restaurants until full of free appetizers
>repeat next weak with a disguise

>>9366984
Why stay angry when you're alone. Think of all the shit relationships you've had and tell yourself never to love anyone else.

I fucking hate eating alone out though. That drives my anxiety up, and I never have anxiety.

>>9367164
>Think of all the shit relationships you've had

You obviously don't know what alone feels like.

Why should I care? I don't know these people and if I did I would probably sit with them. I'm eating because I'm hungry, not to impress strangers.

>>9367169
Then think of all the shit friends you had???

Going out alone is the shit.

You get seated immediately
Your food comes out quickly
Nobody fucking talks to you
It's cheaper paying for 1 person than 2
You can look at memes and/or porn

I wouldn't go to an expensive place alone because I'm poor but I eat out alone at least once a week. I ditched my gf last week so I could get some tacos alone.

>>9367116
just say it then, just say 'we don't want to talk to you', how am i supposed to understand these mindgames, like, the girl won't even look at me, and the guy just keeps saying 'yeah' 'ok', you know what those words mean cunt, they're affirmatives, why am i the bad guy if i keep trying to say more stuff and make conversation, i'm just being friendly.

>inb4 don't talk to strangers
how am i supposed to make friends then, fuck me for trying to not be alone right?

>>9367178
Grindr

>>9367178
Do you play online games? If people like you enough they'll come down and talk to you irl

>>9367178
Meet people in online communities or through mutual friends. That's how most people do it.

>>9367178
haha, yeah blame the people you harass for your lack of friends or meaningful relationships. Get some sort of autism social training or join a club or something, my man. Depending on where you live what you're doing might be ok, but assuming you're in the anglosphere you're a knob to harangue diners.

Eating alone can be very relaxing. I like to go at off hours so that the place is relatively quiet and peaceful. I order a nice drink, typically a beer but sometimes I like to go to this nice Chinese place and they serve sake so I order that, even though it's not truly Chinese, it's more of a Japanese drink. I usually take a book with me and try to take my time and get through a solid chunk of it. When I lived in Bremen I would do this often because it was so much cheaper to eat out there. There was this little Chinese place with a tiny sitting section, I would order my food, order a Tsingtao and a water, and sit at a two person table and read and eat. Having that much table space is really nice. I've done it a couple of times in the US as well and nobody ever seemed to care, the waitresses sometimes took extra care of me though, maybe they felt sorry for me or something. I don't mind the extra attention.

>>9367178
order another table a few dishes and then pull up a chair

>>9367005
Aragorn lookin ass

There is nothing wrong with eating alone. Eating alone at a buffet however, that might be a red flag.

I can't recall one time where i went to a sit down restaurant & ate alone.

>Go to Chinese place I pass every day for funsies and curiosity.
>Walk in.
>"Hi, how many?"
>Be cool.
>Ehhh, just me for now, toots, more might be comin.
>"Oh, ok!"
>Be seated at hugest table they have.
>Well shit.
>Think fast.
>Whip out cellphone and fuck around with it.
>Order food.
>Try to pretend I'm deep in thought whilst chewing food. It's me and one other party in the place. Probably fucking Yakuza.
>Every time I saw that place after, I felt ashamed.

And the food wasn't memorable.

>>9367178
>just say it then, just say 'we don't want to talk to you',
We'd like to. Trust us. But here's the problem. We don't know if you'll say "Oooohhh, ok, sorry" or if you'll lose your shit. Being a rude person who breaks social norms myself, I tend to be blunt about this kinda thing and not give a shit about their feelings. Anyone who'd needy enough to grovel for my attention I see as beneath me. Therefore, not interesting, therefore, not worth my time.

Anyway, I've met many people who say exactly what you said here, but when you say shit like "We don't want to talk to you" they sperg out. There are no mindgames. If the person is unresponsive, they either don't give a shit, or dislike you for whatever reason, so for fuck's sake move on with your life.

In fact, lemme share an anecdote with you.

Once upon a time, I knew a friend of a friend who likes Dark Souls. Now, real quick, this guy said some thoughtless things to me one time. Not a big deal, but it seemed rude, so I told him to fuck off. He acted wounded and kept trying to change the subject. I'd dealt with his kind before, so I knew I needed to set some boundaries ASAP.

Well, I started playing Dark Souls one day. I'd never played it before, was curious, and wanted a challenge. As soon as I fire it up he starts pelting me with spoilers and "tips". I told him I'd rather play the game as virginal as possible. He said okay. But later he persisted. I told him, look pal I don't want to be rude, but we're gonna have to get a divorce re: Dark Souls, ok?

Well, time passes, and he starts sperging again, so I give him one last warning and say I won't be so nice next time. If you guessed I erased his ass from my life when he sperged out yet again, you'd be correct. He thinks I'M the bad guy in this scenario.

>>9367425
the best part is that this story is now in your catalog of reasons why you think you're an alpha person

>>9367437
what

>>9367443
you heard me, faggot

>>9367446
are you >>9367178?

no, i didn't hear you. i don't understand what you said or why you said it.

>>9367448
I am not that guy, I assumed you were that guy. Since you aren't perhaps it is less applicable of a statement.
I was saying you use that blog post as proof of how aloof and dismissive you are of people when they annoy you and that you think it makes you an alpha because you don't waste your time if they don't play by your rules. You portray it as the other guy not knowing social boundaries but it is actually a story of you being a disagreeable man.

>>9367425
you sound like a massive beta faggot, nice blog post

>>9367460
No, I was just using it to illustrate a point, but I also don't waste my time with people who don't play by my rules. Understand, I'm looking for a win-win situation, not my way or the highway. I don't think setting clear boundaries with people who annoy me is being disagreeable, it's being appropriate.

>>9367468
>>9367470
because you are a self righteous faggot, this guy gets it.

>>9367476
LOL, why are you getting defensive?

>>9367479
that was offensive not defensive, and is consistent with my previous two posts attacking you

I suppose I just saw an OT masturbatory livejournal entry and decided to attack, these are the rules I play by, feel free to hit the bricks if you don't like it

>>9367482
>I'm playing mindgames you can't possibly understand. It is I who am the smart.

>>9367484
yes, that's a good characterization of what I was saying, calling you a faggot really is 3D chess. sally forth young buck and illustrate your points about nothing to no one.

>>9367489
Well, g'night everybody.

>walk in
>order food, to take away of course
>sit down, grab a nearby newspaper
>read it until your food arrives
>say thanks, and leave
fuck eating out.

>>9366984
Why would you be hungover at 3AM?

>>9367018
I'm just imagining a greasy neckbeard in an ill fitting suit with flashy colours having a phonecall with his imaginary waifu in full volume and that annoying voice... kek

>>9366999
Source?

>>9367018
>After this little show, people show respect and understanding towards me.
I do this too and I can confirm this statement

>>9367575
it does sound like it would work

>>9367033
you are a pathetic waste of space. pic related

>waddle in
>ring my trilby on the hat rack
>let out a loud wet stinky stanker
>leave

>go to a Thai place down the road one night by myself
>order a green curry
>sit by myself a table in the middle
>it comes serves as rice on a plate, with a bowl of the sauce and vegetables
>I tip the whole bowl of sauce and vegetables over the rice
>oh shit, shit, shit
>its too much sauce
>the plate is swamped and as I try to eat sauce spills on the table
>mop it up with napkins but they're quickly soaked
>eat slowly and precariously trying not to spill sauce everywhere
>feeling like a fucking retard
>waiter smiles awkwardly at me with concern

As you can guess I never went back

This is a thing?

I travel a lot, I eat alone in restaurants a lot.

I enter, sit, converse politely with the server, order food, eat, pay, and leave.

Is there supposed to be some social, cultural, taboo? Perhaps a psychologically detrimental side-effect?

I was just hungry and travelling by my self.

ITT: NEETS who don't understand the concept of having a successful career where your employer pays all-expenses travel.

>>9367689
99.9% of posters on /ck/ have literally never had a job, let alone an expense account/corporate credit card.

>>9367697
my mum pays for me to go out to restaurants sometimes because it's good for my confidence, and there is literally 0 difference wagey

>>9367700
>there is literally 0 difference wagey

Literally none.

>>9366977

> waifu stays in the bar with Chad
> leave alone

>>9367705
delete this

>>9367178
If they told you straight up that they don't want to talk, you'd probably be here saying how rude it is to say that

There's absolutely nothing wrong with going ou alone to either eat or have a beer. I do it all the time, you just grab a seat and ask for food or drinks.

There's a beer place that I really enjoy, but my poorfag friends never have money and my girlfriend lives in another town, so I just go there myself and grab a drink to shill after work. The bar dudes even know me and we end up talking about the new arrivals.

Just stop being autistic and go out to have fun by yourself. It's much better than staying inside your bedroom all day.

>>9366945
What do you mean by "smaller tip"? All the places around here the staff get paid enough and don't require tips. Mind you, there's no high fructose corn syrup on offer in my country so perhaps you're just a stupid American

>>9366977
>not ordering food for waifu

>>9367545
Day drinking

>>9367689
This is my life for 5 years now.

>>9367689
>>9367780
What's your job ?

>>9367545
Day drinkings a bitch sometimes

>>9367073
Fucking kek

>>9367073

that's a good story

>>9366977
>cry a bit
>cry a lot

>>9367145
>"no singles" policy
is this for real? what a bullshit

>>9366945
Always check beforehand if your restaurant has a no-singles policy. You don't want to make a scene when you are escorted out, otherwise.

>>9366945
I have my phone but try going to bars with a tv. Breweries I'll bring a book or my DS. I don't give a fuck

>>9367964
>I have my phone but try going to bars with a tv.

How the fuck do I carry my TV with me let alone get to use their cable or antenna for it

>>9367715
If you can't keep your waifu with you, you deserve to have her stolen by Chad. She probably doesn't like you anyway.

>>9366945

>>9368208
I don't understand these images. What is Chad supposed to be a caricature of?

>>9368214
the socially well-adjusted extrovert alpha normie who fucks etc etc

i bring my phone and read articles or something on it while i eat.
it feels really awkward when i put food in my mouth and look up and chew and had eye contact with the qt3.14 who is out on a date with her bf, that and eye contact with the waitress and they just give me a look with disgust for coming out to eat alone
im so lonely guys

>>9368214
Originally there was only a "virgin" and it was the "Virgin Walk" which was making fun of a certain way people walk. As a reaction, someone made the "Chad Stride" which had the exact opposite of each point made on "Virgin Walk"

>>9367145
Just say you identify as two people?

>>9369716
Won't he have to pay for two people then?

>>9369809
What?

>>9371154
>he attend restaurants other than all you can eat buffets.
Spotted the europoor

get it to go u fucking mong

>>9366945
Man, Lana is cute as a button in her candid shots. Too bad she seems awfully dumb in her interviews though.

>>9372123

whoda thunk that a person who sucks dick for a living isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer

>>9366945
I wish to bed the woman in this picture.

>>9372123
Is she some kind of blogger? Never heard of her before.

>>9366999
Fuckin dub/trip wasted.

>>9367176
>having friends

>>9366945
No one cares but you

>>9372130
More so than usual. She acts like a complete retard during interviews. Not the attention craving kind, but the legitimately stupid variant.

>>9372135
Porn star fa.m

>>9371460
But all you can eat is for poor people. Good restaurants do not offer ayce.

>>9367564
Kek

>>9367145
owned by ÄHLÄÄM darkies and with "we sell rohypnol" signs here and there?

>>9366945
There's no rules, you do your thing, eat, drink, whatever you've come there. No need to socialize everytime.
Are loners really frowned upon in america? i'm talking about the confident type not the insecure faggots "tfw no girlfriend" type.

Usually a restaurant will have a designated singles night in which it's okay to go alone. Otherwise just bring your pet falcon. As long as you have your pet falcon restaurants are very accommodating.

>>9367177
>looking at porn in a public place

>>9367178
>and the guy just keeps saying 'yeah' 'ok', you know what those words mean cunt, they're affirmatives
hes telling you nicely to fuck off and mind your own business

are u dumb anon

I honestly can't tell if this thread is satire or if people here are really this out of touch with reality.

>>9372130
Some seem to be extra dumb. Sophie Dee seems to have the IQ of a concussed shrimp even before opening her cranial cockhole.

Remy Lacroix, on the other hand, sounded smart and level-headed, too bad she left the business.

>>9372525
Staying too long in the business leaves you with drug habits and turning your body into an implant farm. It isn't a coincidence that some of the smarter porn starlets got out early.

>>9372282
>pornstar
Score! Her name is Lana? Lana what?

I only go to places where I can eat and drink alone sitting at their bar

>>9372610
Lana Rhoades.

>>9372649
Thanks anon.

If the place you eat at doesn't have a no singles policy then you're too poor to even worry about it.

Go to a diner and order ham and eggs like every other working class American and then leave.

>>9367180
this

>>9373182
Not really.

>>9373168
>working class

Ugh gross

>>9367489
Who are these people?

>>9366945
>What are the rules on going out to eat alone?

1. Don't.
2. See Rule 1