/ck/ - Food & Cooking

bounce bounce

mmm

>>9359847
made me gag

>>9359888
More gifs pls I'm browsing on iPhone. Also nice get.

>>9359968

>>9359847
ball of insects covered in an egg? walking out of that place instantly.

>>9359838
Chinaman cheesecake.

>>9359999

>>9359833
Why not just cut some of the cheese off and melt them and coat the pasta in the pan?

>>9360100
wheres the fun in that

>>9359847
this looks really disgusting but it probably tastes amazing

>>9360293
Omurice is quite bland. I don't understand why adults eat it.

>>9359833
>butane torch

Shit probably tastes like lighter fuel

>>9360297
its like a comfort food

>>9360297
Depends on where you go. The best I ever had was in some alley restaurant in Tokyo. Of course, I was hungover from a long night of eating sushi, drinking sake and singing karaoke with a bunch of Japanese strangers.

Still, really good. The rice is what makes or breaks the dish.

Wouldn't be a webm thread without this one.

>>9359833
wow what a douche

i hate pretentious food wank shit like this

>>9359835
What the fuck

>>9359981
its rice! rice!

>>9359838
I want to ________ those cakes.

>>9360347
Burtn on the outside, raw in the inside. USA was a mistake.

chiz

>>9360437
not raw, color comes from the smoke

>>9360437
>t. lives in some africa-tier shithole like ukraine where people eat boiled chicken livers

>>9360447
>where people eat boiled chicken livers
>not eating the Mc Megabooster Quarter Pounder Cheeseburger with jalapenos and bacon 3000 with extra salty Mc Fries and a large dose of Diabeetus Cola

>>9360453
>being grossed out by smoked meat

>>9360453
at least i can waste my disposable income on mcdoubles and not worry about the rent

you raise malnourished chickens in the decrepit communal area in the middle of your giant commieblock complex next to the rusty playground that hasn't been maintained since the 70s

>>9359864
I've never understood this video, what's going on?

>>9360473
>at least i can waste my disposable income on mcdoubles
Thanks to the welfare checks, I presume. Gool ol whitey providing for all you american niggers.

>>9360488
they dry-aged that roast. the have to cut the outside bits off because theyve gone bad but its dry enough that the inside is still good and tastes better

>>9359977
God fucking damn that twink on the left has a nice ass. Men should not have curves like that.

>>9360347
Fuck man, the way it just falls apart when he squeezes it is sexual.

>>9360455
Not pizza

>>9360434
cum inside

>>9360668
do millenials really do this?

>>9360440
Why are Americans so obsessed with cheese?

>>9360670
its an SNL skit.
and it looks pretty good until after the quac part desu.

>>9360673
isn't that from france though?

>>9360673
Americans are obsessed with cheddar and their American "cheese product". They don't even know what good cheese is.
>tfw visited my cousin
>she said how much she loves cheese
>"me too!"
>never takes us to a cheese place
>always orders whatever food comes with cheese to have extra
>notice it's always the same color
>eventually notice it's either cheddar or american
And another time I saw someone ask for shredded cheese to put in her lentil soup. I kind of feel bad for Americans because they obviously have that love for cheese from their European ancestors but are really bad at connecting with it. At least there's good Brie.

>>9360635
True, it transcends pizza

>>9359888

>>9360673

Eggs for the egg king.

>>9360720
>Not calling it "Surly King of the Egg Fort"

>>9360726

Okay, Surly King of the Egg Fort.

Now here's the other one.

>>9360733
Where's the Virgin and Chad image, post it.

>>9359977
S I P B O Y S

>>9360737

I don't like the meme so I don't have it.

>>9359838
Man I want to spank those cakes so bad

>>9360491
Sounds amazing. I'd like to give that a shot one of these days.

>>9360499
They turned into a tranny, I think they even got their dick snipped

>>9360100
it's one of those scam where they do the finish at your table so you can film and take picture for your social media

>>9359888
>American Standard

fresh from the king

>>9361008
holy shit my sides

>>9361008

>>9361008
I'm by no means an expert on grilling, but shouldn't the grill be hot when grilling?

>>9361008
>WOOOOOOOOW I'M NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING AND THE EGG FELL INTO THE GRILL BUGGED COOKING MECHANICS

>>9361008
wow

>>9359833
why do Americans put so much cheese on everything?

>>9361008
wtf

>>9360737

Here ya go.

>>9361078
it's italian you dumb dumb

>>9360673
>Switzerland is America
Fuck they're taking over Europe

>>9361178
I was wondering where i could get a good monkey plate? Side of Rhino Balls? I tried to Yelp but :(

I loves thes Africans Cultures!!!!

>>9359835
This is not ok.

>>9360499
men don't. libs raise sexually abused, effeminate boys who look that way.

Any /ck/ OC in these threads? I want to see you clowns cooking shit.

>>9360738
kek

>>9359888
>they enter the Boogie dimension

>>9360733
>the virgin egg stand
>the chad egg dance

>>9361178
Amazing, thanks.

>>9361038
I think it is on though, the whites of the egg get cooked when it slides off.

>>9360714
Poor Edris; hes such a great actor but gets stuck playing obligatory black dude roles

>>9359835
This hurt me in multiple ways

>>9360675
raclette is a swiss dish

>>9361008
How can one man be so much of a fuck up

>>9361008

sweet jesus how

>>9361042
>jack is the DSP of cooking

it all makes sense now

>>9361008
Why did this make me laugh so hard

>>9360720
how does he get out?

>>9361499
Probably because you're a bit simple in all honesty.

>>9361420
He's also a literal cuck which many people don't know

>>9361912
Why is he a cuck?
What happened?

>>9361915
The kid he raised with a girlfriend for a few years turned out to not be his.

>>9361926
She cheated on him?
Shit.

>>9361008
so simple yet so good

>>9360455
>this kills the italian

>>9361930
http://www.eonline.com/news/460777/idris-elba-reveals-child-he-thought-he-d-fathered-was-not-his-son-says-it-s-tragic

>>9361934
Stop samefagging please.
Attention whoring is frowned upon here.

>>9359977
>drinking literal beetus juice

>>9361008
>>>Jack blames the mat for this

>>9359847
Does anyone have the full webm?

>>9360437
dumb-ass... the "raw" part is a smoke ring or also referred to as 'bark' fuck off

>>9360670
that's from a bit from Saturday night live, a tv show.

>>9360455
Id be fucking pissed if some douche did that to my cheese. Leave the god damn cheese alone faggot.

>>9360437
>Cooked for 10-14 hours....raw
Dipshit

>>9359888
>all those nuggies wasted

DELET THIS

>>9361494
DSP is already the DSP of Cooking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq7DGPguZK0

Jack is on his own plane of existence

>>9360720
The guy who filmed this must have brass balls

>>9359838
It'd be like prom night all over again without the criminal conviction.

>>9361008

>>9361008
fucking every time

>>9361008
He really is a miracle.

>>9360455
>sauce on top
can someone explain this to a non-chicagoan?

>>9363052

It's called tomato

it's a fruit

>>9361008
some people really shouldnt try to cook

>>9363059
>and having a tomato pizza is a lot better than a cheesy greasy pizza

>>9361008
holy kek

>>9363059
i get it, but why not put it under the cheese? legit curious here, i know how defensive /ck/ gets over pizza

>>9363116

TOMATO IS A FRUIT

PLUTO IS A PLANET

DINOSAURS DON'T HAVE FEATHERS

SPACE JAM IS AWFUL

>>9363052
>>9363116
we do things a bit differently here in chicago

>>9363116
In case you wanted a serious answer it's because Chicago style pizzas are cooked for a longer amount of time so if they put the cheese on top then it would burn

>>9361870
He doesn't.

>>9360437
(you)

>>9363122
Wesley Willis is that you?

>>9361008
>"WHERE ARE THE GRILL MARKS?!!"

>>9362186
Just watched the video, I had hoped you were kidding.

>>9360440

'How to instantly add 500 calories to your meal'

I have been away for a year. can someone bring me up to date and list the top 10 current /ck/ memes please

>>9359968
Get VLC nerd.

>>9363263

Jet Fuel can't melt cheese wheels

>>9359835
the vodka bit almost made me throw up and ive seen all kinds of webms.

>>9360347
>tattoos

>>9363180
GOTTA EAT BIG

>>9360455
this is kids food.

>>9361178
Fuggggggg

>>9361008
lmfao

he even does the classic jack gesture with the hand, like "yeah look at that. wew".

>>9363336
What porn is this? or what's her name?

>>9360437

>>9363356
Alura Jenson

>>9359847
>>9362190
bumping for this

>>9363421
youtube omurice

>>9361008
Can you update this to include the part where his dumb fat gorilla hands crack open the eggs by punching them, please.

>>9361008
why does jack make me feel like i want the whole world to burn.

>>9363052
It protects the cheese from burning durring the extended baking time

>>9360668
shit never fails to make me chortle

>>9362129
Chads taking S I P S while you're at the gym!

>>9360462
>>9360442
> smoke
Enjoy ur cancer

>>9361008
ded

>>9359833

It's a silly gimmick but I would totally fall for that.

>>9361870
He can't get out without breaking the eggs, so he has to cook and sell them all first.

>>9359833
Fucking stupid. Crap presentation, overcooked spaghetti, ugly dinnerware, watery bullshit sauce. Not to mention there's residue from 10,000 previous pasta dishes and god knows what else in that cheese wheel. Oh and it's probably burnt to shit at this point as well. Wa fucking la. Enjoy your shitty instagram pasta.

>>9361008
It's incredible how he's learned absolutely fuck all about cooking after so many years.

>>9363706
>Copper Chef Grill Mats
who?

Can someone post the video of the psycho girl chopping up onions while looking at the camera, bonus points for that other video of her chugging a can of lemonade(?)

>>9363638

>>9360311
ever had a creme brulee?
dumbass...

>>9361008
I literally cannot believe a human being can actually be this retarded. He has to be acting.

>>9363638
Thats a classical roman dish you fucking elitist faggot. Its hundred and hundreds of years old. they used to do it with hot stones to melt the parmesan.

Youre just retarded
t. ive eaten that at least 10 times and everytime it was glorious cheesy peppery pasta.

>>9364451

Romans didn't use soap and pooped in communal troughs.

>>9364451
Yeah man, I remember those roman hand burners, lel.

>>9364451
not him and that guy is an idiot but i think this is not cacio e pepe since he should use pecorino romano
also dont know what kind of sauce was in the pan together with spaghetti so it's probably some variation
looks good even if all that shit he's doing is mostly for show, adding parmesan over it would produce a very similar result

>>9361008
>yea let's put these eggs on a flat slanted surface, what could possibly go wro--
>oh waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw

>>9364451
>Thats a classical roman dish you fucking elitist faggot.
Yeah, I'll start making my pasta with milk finished in a wheel of cheese that's been burnt using a butane torch because the romans supposedly did something similar. I'll also start claiming a continuity with Ancient Greece despite the fact that no one asked me to.

>>9363334
you autists will find anything inane and inconsequential to complain about won't you?
How about starting with your small penis.

>>9361008
WTF JACK

>>9363336
Ugly fat fuck man faced slut

>>9364707
I like your frog, YouTube boy.

>>9359838
T H I C C A K E

>>9360447
No in africa they eat bug burgers.

>>9363638
>Not to mention there's residue from 10,000 previous pasta dishes and god knows what else in that cheese wheel
I assumed they use a fresh wheel for each occasion, making the whole thing unsatisfying to me, design-wise, but you're probably right and I'm not sure if I like that even less

>>9361038
Jack is scared of heat from what I've seen of these webms.

>>9361939
no wonder white accept him even though he's black. he's one of theirs.

>>9364299

>>9364299
I think this is what your looking for.

>>9364949
>>9364953
who is this girl holy shit I'm on love

>>9364953

She's the type of girl that will gag herself on your cock while you nut down here throat, and she won't even breaking eye contact.

I love millenial aged whores.

>>9361178
lol

>>9361008
WTF HHHAHHAHHAHAHA ABSOLUTE MADMAN

>>9361008
Show where he tries to flip it.

Or the burgers when he's done

>>9365285
https://youtu.be/zdE8yh0d1_0

this here I think

>>9365299
I watched the video I was just hoping for webms.

>>9365017
>girl

>>9365315
I'm sure someone can use that video to make webms.

>>9361008
I fuckin despise that moron.
I live to watch him fail.

>>9365360
what did you do to achieve that status on surly the egg king king of the fort?

>>9361008
I saw this and had to watch the video. How is he upset that the copper mat, doesn't leave grill marks? How retarded is he?

>>9365449
I think the ad for the product claims it can get you grill marks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kogqwwZkDGg

It's so full of shit.

>>9365449
>>9365472
to be honest I'm not sure he ever put a single heat source at a temperature high enough to leave marks, ever

>>9365522
good point. kek

>>9359888

>>9365522
You've clearly never seen his lamb chops and mint sauce recipe.

>>9364747
.t chestlet

>>9361008
I do not understand of Jack can infuriate me so much. I should have seen worse, I should be jaded, but that fat fucking cunt just ruins me.

>>9363444
>crack open the eggs by punching them
I don't know how that would work but it sounds hilarious

>>9361078
How you embarrass yourself

>>9365551
I can't remember watching it and I can't find it.
You've awaken my curiosity anon.
Would you happen to have a link / webm ?

>>9361008

>>9359835
'cheese'

>>9364629
>looks like a coloring book that was colored in by a blind Vietnamese orphan a hundred years ago
>gets insulted that people are disgusted by his pie choices in life

>>9363638
>instagram pasta
i'm tired of instagram food in general. maybe it's time to delete social media again

what's it like not knowing about normalfag stuff again? i forget

>>9365862
tu webm no sirve güey

¿que era?

>>9360720
the chad booth

>>9360670
Binging with banish made this one in his channel.
Apparently, it was surprisingly tasty.

>>9361008
scrn shot pls XDDD

>>9365882
>güey
this is why we need a wall

>>9360684
Trust me, there are A LOT of cheese snobs in the U.S, you gotta look past the lowest common denominator that eat those processed "cheese" products up. (and yea, most sensible Americans know that shit is fake and garbage)

>>9365023
>implying that from this video >>9364953 she wouldn't just drink your bitch ass under the table

>>9360726
Kek'd

Thanks

>>9359847
>japanese salmonella
>bon appetite

>>9366615
>Chug a single 12oz can of fizzy water, take 15 seconds to do it
>WOW SHE'D DRINK YOUR PUSSY ASS UNDER THE TABLE LMAO!!!!
She'd be wasted halfway through the first pitcher.

>>9366734
Its much worse than sunny side up, over easy, poached, basted, soft boiled, etc. than we have here in the west right?

>>9360668
This looks pretty good but im not taking a bite.
also, can someone calculate how many cals in this?

>>9359833
Cooking nerds, here's a question for you, is that wheel going in the trash after that?

>>9366771
Of course mate. Its customary to throw out the $2000 wheel of cheese after you use it once.

>>9366741
>Angry virgin detected
Try not to shoot up a school, bruh

>>9366775
If I ever eat out, I'll ask for the wheel then, cheers.

>>9361008
>no jewtube link with audio and listening this retard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdE8yh0d1_0

>>9366820
uh, yeah. posted the link earlier

>>9366820

>>9365299

>>9364299
>>9364953
That flavored seltzer, not lemonade.

>>9360726
I'm laughing way too hard at this.

>>9360668
the fact that it only reached the point where i wouldn't eat it after the pancake depresses me.

>>9364481
>>9364469
>>9364468
>they used to use hot stones to melt the cheese
Why can /ck/ not read?

>>9360720
True alpha cooks eggs by intimidating them with his stare

>>9361268
You're saying if you had a few drinks with this cutie and you knew he was dtf you wouldn't DEMO that ass till he couldn't walk?

>>9360437
Ok muhammad

>>9364317
this is 4chan. most people here don't know how to make toast

>>9366647
fucking americans, thats just disgusting

>>9360733
>the virgin scramble vs the chad fry

>>9366734
Well, the eggs they use are tested so rigorously to make sure you can eat them raw. Not like other countries in the west.

>>9367290
>people here don't know how to make toast
I usually just buy the pre-toasted kind. Makes life easier.

>>9359833
My brother had this when my family went to Universal. Said that it's ridiculously good.

>>9360437
that's pork you fucking idiot

>>9360347
it may look strange to you, but you should try it sometime my shitskin friend

>>9367295
>he doesnt spend 17 hours on his dessert "drink"
it's like you hate yourself or something

>>9360437
it may look strange to you, but you should try it sometime my shitskin friend

>>9367435
That's bait you fucking idiot

>>9361008
any time you think Ja/ck/ can't get any better, he outdoes himself

>>9366782
there is a big difference between being able to chug soda and alcohol tolerance

>>9361008
All praise King Ja/ck/! Long may he fail

>>9367275
>How to get a heart attack at 30

>>9360733
This is obviously either his son or someone else working for him

>>9361008

>>9361008
The only time he interacted with some food and it wasn't undercooked afterwards

>>9360455
It's like a pizza from a cartoon

>>9364953
Who is she?

>>9363052
Its fucking retarded considering plain mozz is fairly bland compared to perfectly golden mozz from a normal pizza.

>>9361008
>>9363444

>>9367638
>Pays $10 for them
>Takes them back for a refund

>>9367638
I fucking hate the way he cracks eggs, every time i see this, i get triggered

this is stupid, but he thinks it the smartest way to open eggs

freaking imbecile

>>9367676
Just be thankful he stopped breaking them on his nasty ring.

Marco "Knorr" White shows plebs how to finely cut an onion.

>>9367676
Why are you such a faggot?

>>9360455
I'm Italian and I would try it.

I wouldn't call it a pizza though. Looks more like a casserole.

>>9367720
why not just use a mandolin at this point?

>>9367742
>mandolin

>>9364949
>>9364953
thanks man, i need material to start a thread about girls with deep, penetrating eyes

>>9365599
Her tits are fine, it's her fucking face that infuriates me. It's so fucking bony and the faces she makes just make it worse.

>>9364949
>>9364953
This bitch looks like she would dice and chop your dick up then suck the blood out of your bleeding stump
>in b4 that's someone's fetish

>>9367570
At least you'd die having experienced true bliss.

>>9367638
And you KNOW he won't be cleaning that out

>>9364949
I she blind?

>>9367716
How can there be more coffee in that Turkish coffee maker than there is space in that Turkish coffee maker?
Its like a never ending fountain of coffee

>>9367812
nah man, she's cute in a psycho kinda way

>>9367821
For the hundredth time;
1. very hot sand (wok with sand over gas burner)
2. a modest amount of coffee
3. heat the coffee until it boils, pour some out
4. repeat

>>9366820
chinkhater, why do you hate chinks?

>>9367747
link

>>9360684
>Americans are obsessed with cheddar and their American "cheese product". They don't even know what good cheese is.

As an American I can tell you that most people here don't actually care for "American Cheese". At least in the region I live in most people would rather have provolone, cheddar, mozzarella, colby jack, swiss, ect.

>>9367838
>>b >>743768423
I forgot how to link threads between boards

>>9367855
like that >>>/b/743768423

>>9363131
>Chigago style pizza is so flawed that you have to alter the basic rules of construction just to facilitate it
Kek.

>>9367874
thanks, man

>>9367850
>At least in the region I live in most people would rather have provolone, cheddar, mozzarella, colby jack, swiss, ect.

The thing is that these really aren't much better. Usually what the average American market or deli calls "provolone" or "cheddar" has little to do with the real deal except for the name. They are nearly always cheap industrial knock-offs of a well known product, and we aren't even aware of it.

Ever go to Switzerland and ask for "Swiss cheese"? It doesn't exist. They'll ask if you want Raclette, Emmentaler, Guryere, Sbrinz, etc.....most of which have very little in common with what you'd get labeled as "Swiss cheese" in US or Canada.

>>9367850
>As an American I can tell you that most people here don't actually care for "American Cheese". At least in the region I live in most people would rather have provolone, cheddar, mozzarella, colby jack, swiss, ect.

Sadly, it's still not that good. This anon was right.
>I kind of feel bad for Americans because they obviously have that love for cheese from their European ancestors but are really bad at connecting with it.

All the cheese you considered "good", even the fancy ones from Wisconsin and all, are nowhere as good as what Europeans have. Find your cheesy roots, euro-amerifats !

>>9359888
ok, but will it flush 57 chicken nuggets?

>>9361038
GRILL NICE AND COLD

>>9367821
sandnigger magic

>>9368308

>>9367821
the heated coffee bubbles, it gives the appearance of more volume. some of the liquid is poured out but the remaining liquid bubbles again when placed into the heated sand.

>>9364468
They also wore socks and sandals. There's a reason they fell and why the western civilization they formed the foundation of is corrupt

>>9368740
fucking barbaric

>>9368745
>anon trains to visit the surly king of the egg fort

>>9368826
>religion

>>9368830
kek

>>9368740
Cthulu is gonna fuck everyone of us up

>>9368829
It's hilarious, fuck cephalopods

>>9368851
>fuck cephalopods
Why hate them?

>>9360670
Is whatever generation you are this fucking stupid?

>>9368752
>french fries on steel bucket
>wooden board "plate"
>stupid gimmick usually performed by the waiter
all the signs of a hipster underground joint that you HAVE to try because they have the BEST burger ever!!!

>>9360673
Because we're better than you.

>>9368860
They raped my mother

>>9363534

Here for a good time, not a long time

>>9368885
Is your mother japanese?

>>9367746
Okay. What's the latest meme that says mandolins are bad?

>>9368894
Maybe

>>9368895
The complaint is about the spelling, not the usefulness of the device.
Mandolin = a stringed musical instrument
Mandoline = the kitchen tool

>>9368895

>>9361178

Kek, this is the only SFW board I browse on 4chan, and our memes are so shit-tier but hilarious. I remember that april fools day where they merged our board with /co/ and everyone from /co/ were absolutely revolted by our memes.

>>9368914
>/co/

Let's be honest, they're probably worse than us

>>9368914
The /pol/, /mlp/ meltdown was pretty funny.
Especially the first two hours when neither board could fathom what was happening.
/mlp/ is the epitome of faggotry though.

>>9368916
I sthis Jack?

>>9360720
This is fucking retarded. His egg sandwiches look bland and he's serving them fucking wonderbread on a paper plate. I can make better eggs than this fuck

>>9369584
but can you did it while being imprisoned by eggs?

>>9368980
No. THIS is Ja/ck/

>>9369584
he's surly the egg meme

>>9368740
More of this kind of stuff?

>>9369653
here you go mong

>>9369653

>>9368914
/swgg/?

>>9369663
>>9369682
Nice. Keep em coming

>>9369701

>>9369703
That's just a truck of fish

>>9360437
>USA was a mistake.
O RLY? I thought a Mexican colony with nigger locals would turn out great!

>>9369703
gives a new meaning to "street food"

>>9369701

>>9369769
That must be delicious

>>9366734
>implying thats a problem anywhere other than the third world
>and the usa
>oh ... right

>>9367567
Is that his son?

>>9369769
>fish so big you have to use a sword

>>9369939

that's a knife you retard the men are just tiny

>>9369988
>mfw they're oompa loompas

>>9369682
I wonder how many people didn't wear the glove because they thought it was for pussies and then sliced their hand open when the fish started flopping.

>>9369939
>he doesn't own a maguro bōchō

>>9360673
Why is everybody so obsessed with america?

>>9370395

as if you don't stare at the retarded kid with 5 legs and a penis on his forehead

>>9370434
>5 legs and a penis on his forehead
That is something I very much would not like to see.

>>9370630

the best i could do

>>9367638
thank you very much

>>9368740
I want everyone involved with this video dead.

>>9369663
>>9369682

>asians
>people

>>9367821
Retard

>>9369916
It's his wife's son

>>9368740
>this kills the squid

>>9371173
>those poor animals :'( :'( :'( ohhhh they would've gone on to live such fulfilling lives ;-; ohhhh blooooooo