/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Who in their bloody right mind thinks that this is a good thing to drink? Seriously who the fuck think that this is actuaklly a good idea to make a grilled cheese cocktail? Fuck I rather I rather just drink a bottle of vodka this this horrible looking piece of shit I swear to God if any of you niggers actually made this drink, you are disgusting piece of vile garbage. Seriously what the fuck.

>>9239409
pretty sure it's satire matey

surly the egg king trapped for life

>>9239495
I'm sickened but curious to try this

>>9239495
>Garnishing garbage

>>9239495
now eat it

>>9239426

It's not sadly.

https://www.thedailymeal.com/making-signature-drink-beechers-grilled-cheese-martini

All these webms everyone has already seen a 1000 times!

>>9239565
I'm thinking about replacing my kitchen with one of these.

>>9239926
>That enormous blob of gochujang
>Wow, okay, maybe it-
>a second one
what the FUCK

>>9239457
Fuck, I love eggie sammies.

>>9239579
jesus fucking christ well that anger is completely justified

>>9239950
>ywn have somebody with an ass that great bend over in front of you like that

>>9239950
>On one hand, da but
>On the other, she just served crispy franks on a stick

>>9239926
>that 2nd girl's reaction
kek

>>9239950
>This stick goes into your peepee hole

>>9240072
>That'll be $84.99 plus tip :^)

>>9239950
Is that baked hotdogs with corn flakes stuck to them? The fuck?

>>9240072
Looks staged

>>9239409
It's flyover food.

>>9239457
Just made myself a fried egg sandwich because of this.

>>9239565
>15 dollars

>>9240143
I love this channel so much.

>>9240140
candy making looks so comfy

>>9240100
This. It's very popular in New York.

>>9240152

Candy making is scary as fuck seeing as molten candy might as well be lava for how well it transfers pain to you if you touch it.

lel

>>9240235
I came right when that lid popped

>>9240235
Seems really inefficient, I'll stick with the microwave.

>>9240338
I will never get tired of this webm. If only I could taste it.

beautiful

>>9240392

>>9239920
desert storm 2: electric boogaloo

>>9239495
CAN YOU FEEL IT MR KRABS

>>9239457
how the fuck does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

>>9240461
Fucking leafs.

>>9239950
the closeups of her ass are a metaphor for the shitty quality food she is cooking

>>9239972
I have.... but it has been a while. I'm getting old.
t. GenXfag

>>9240356

What in the fuck is this shit

>>9239553
Kek.

tostinos pizza

>>9239349
I fucking hate these threads. It's the same 50 webms over and over again. The 7 jack webms, the tofu chopper, the bloody mary, the rib slicing.

GIVE ME NEW CONTENT. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>9240637
I will never tire of this

>>9240524
it's called an egg rollie

https://sociorocketnewsen.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/rollie-eggmaster.jpg?w=640

tis a classic

>>9240715
uma delicia

>>9240637
I hadn't seen
>>9240140
>>9240235
>>9240596
before. That's not to say they haven't been posted before, but if you scan through these threads every now and then, even you can find some content that is new to you.

>>9239926
that is a fuckload of gochujang

>>9240524
It's a fleshlight that cooks eggs.

>>9240723
Why did this show end? It was pretty high quality for a tv show.

>>9240731
wow, what's happening? a farmer trapping his own pigs?

these are some retarded animals. ramming into each other desperate to escape.

>>9240737
>crisps
>5 kinds of paprika
>some kind of rice

who didn't see that coming

>>9240801
No. These are parasites that kill the forest and are going to be exterminated.

>>9240815
for their meat?
do you have the entire video, i want to see how long it takes for them to calm down and stop trampling over each other

>>9240801
animals don't think like humans. they think more simply than we do.

>>9239349
>soggy vodka bread
Why

>>9240801
but piiigs are intellligeeent
>t. Vegan who isnt smarter than a pig

>>9240892
not sure if disabled or just annoying

>>9240892
Meth is a terrible drug

>>9240490
Trap door beneath him

>>9240895
Both

>>9240892
https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=d3f_1501405844

>>9240904
>>9240904
>liveleak
Oh no. Not today!

>>9240895
Nah if you were doing this everyday over an over you'd have to make it fun or you'd go fucking crazy. A lot of street vendors do this to create a rhythm and encourage tipping.

>>9240904
kek m8

>>9240843
Why bother

>>9240731
imagine getting to euthanize, process and butcher, store, and then eat these delicious piggies

they're a real problem in texas, and probably all over the south. we're not so afflicted by them in ohio

>>9240981
the big ones wouldn't be that edible tho. tough meat, maybe can make sausage with the older ones.

>>9240941
okay so just annoying

>>9240744
WHY

>>9240490
he can only leave once he has cooked all of them

>>9241099
reddit

>>9240744
Abominable.

>>9240792
Would you rather it kept being milked forever until there was nothing good left about it?

>>9240490
I'll tell you, but first you have to eat all these eggs

>>9241120
I'M CUMMING!!

>>9240194
>unused footage from 'Tangled'

>>9239630
Imagine what her shit looked like

>>9241129
that is why I am glad Futurama is done for good after 4 dvd movies/a mini season and two extra seasons on top of its original 4 seasons
the well is tapped I feel, I am glad it will never become another The Simpsons because Matt Groening had the foresight to have tighter control over the development of it.

>>9240823
>for their meat?
No, as a warning to the others.

>>9240723
if someone put a warm colour filter on it, it'd look really nice

>>9241129
Milked? If you have read the books you would know that they are only half way in with the show and stopped it apruptly

>>9240843
I kept waiting for this idiot to cut his own palm

>>9239579
>New York Shitty
When can this meme stop?

>>9240892
Who is that qt to the right. You can see some side boob.

>>9240637
I usually only make new webms when I'm drunk and bored and I've been playing vidya recently instead. Here's one for you though.

>>9241658
what the fuck is this garbage?

>eat raw, drained bacon that you haven't cooked or done anything to other than leave in some paper with a bit of salt around the outside

that isn't how you cure meat. that's just horse shit

>>9240637
How about you contribute some new content?

>>9239926
what is twice doing here fucking reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>9241696
I think normally it is fully cured, but some people like raw pork. The Germans do that thing where they shape it into a hedgehog for buffets.

>>9240731


https://youtu.be/F9UKNwlhhpo?t=1m51s

>>9241006
ugh asian people are so heartless
fucking insects

>>9241006
It has no head you mong.

>>9241923 meant for >>9241912

>>9240072
Hi, I'm extremely high right now. I've just watched this webm about thirty times, and I think the cause of her falling is the chair being pushed out by someone at the table on the right. He seems to stay there after scooting out to demonstrate not his accountability but rather his absolute innocence, as if the waitress should have known exactly which way to walk to avoid sliding-out chairs of people who want to get up politely at a meal like this restaurant would have nice meals. And the waitress is completely confounded, because she doesn't immediately start apologizing, she's thinking, jesus, it's not my fault, it was the fucking guy who slid his chair out, but she knows she has to apologize and she can't just point her finger at the guy. And the other table, the one who got hit with the tray, they're all just stupefied, because what do you do in that situation? You wait, like people wait, they wait for someone to do something, the protagonist, because that's all we do: we are viewers of protagonists, often we like to identify with them and pretend to be them, but deep inside we know there is that separation between us and the person we are pretending to be, and so you wait, you wait for someone to take the lead in a situation, but you don't know that absolutely anyone has the capacity to be that Protagonist, it could be you, and you could get up and do something and be the focus of attention that everyone including yourself so craves,

>>9240140
>coat hand in hard candy
>let it set into a spiky ball over your fist
>roam the streets delivering sweet, hard justice to anyone who stands in your way

>>9240823
depending on the region, most places with feral hog problems simply kill and dispose of them. The meat is generally gamy and not all that great, nothing like domestic pig

>>9242015
Depends entirely on the age of the hog. Young ones are amazingly delicious, and they are by far the most common. If you happen to find some tough old boar then yeah, those don't taste all that great.

and speaking of things that don't taste all that great, most domestic pork is certianly in that category. factory farmed pork is largely flavorless. If you want tasty pig then you either need to go wild (and simply mind the age), or find a small farm that raises heritage breed.

>>9240838
They are very intelligent, arguably moreso than dogs.
That's irrelevant to their invasiveness though.

>>9240815
>These are parasites that kill the forest
Yep. The big ones taste like shit, but the smaller ones are pretty tasty.
>going to be exterminated
It will NEVER happen. Too many pay to hunt places rely on them for income from city slickers that want to shoot a boar. Texas just recently allowed hunting them by hot air balloon.

>>9241978
Yea, you're high as fuck.

>>9241856
Looks cute and all but what happens when you cook it? The onion quills will get burnt down to carbon and the parseley will suffer the same fate.

>>9241994
>goes by the name "The Candy Crusher"

>>9240723
>>9241242

>>9241994
>coat hand in hard candy
>scream
>scream more
>regret

>>9242134
You don't cook it. Mett is served raw. It's like tartare.

>>9241968
Please explain why the cute squid bugs change color.

>>9242144
>Mett is served raw.
So all it takes to troll people into eating raw meatloaf is some animal decorations and a new name?

>>9242148
They're dead.

>>9240904
>florida
Of course it is

>>9242177

It's got nothing to do with meatloaf. It's a classic German dish.

>>9240072
>>9241978
Looks like the folding table she's carrying caught on the chair to her right, tilting it up into the tray. I don't know why she doesn't seem to react until three seconds later though.

>>9242186

it's meat fashioned into a loaf. it has that to do with meatloaf.

>>9242148
Seriously?

If they sever the nerves between the brain and the chromatophores in the squid's skin they clearly aren't getting any kind of signal as to what color to maintain.

You might as well ask why an electrical device stops working when you cut the cable.

>>9242199

fair question if you don't know it's an electrical device.

>>9242213

Everything with a nervous system behaves in that manner.

>>why can't I control my body anymore if I break my neck

>>9242224
>>9242199
>Hurr durr why doesn't everyone know how squids work
Autism

>>9242233

It's not just squids anon, it's anything with a nervous system. I figure if you're old enough to post here then surely you've taken a basic biology course and know how nerves work.

>>9241968
:(

>>9242224
>>9242243

the issue is not knowing how the colour changing works. you're rolling your eyes at the question when the knowledge required (about animal coloration) is relatively specialised. it's not as basic as understanding the nervous system if you don't know that the nervous system is controlling it and how.

>>9242243
Most animals don't instantly change color after having their nervous system disconnected.

>>9241994
Or you could forge a mace out of the candy and avoid hand fractures

>>9242264
>>9242261

It's common knowledge that squid can willingly change their own color. Clearly such a system would fail the moment the animal was dead and/or if its nervous system were disconnected.

Same thing would apply to any animal that could change it's color, like a chameleon. Cut a chameleon's head off and it can't change its color anymore either.

>>9242278

>It's common knowledge that squid can willingly change their own color.

it's less common than knowledge of the nervous system.

>Clearly such a system would fail the moment the animal was dead and/or if its nervous system were disconnected.

that's not clear if you don't know how chromatophores work.

>>9242278
I just thought squids were red.

>>9242301
Only when they are really angry

>>9241968
he turned them into ghosts!

>>9242294
jellyfish are immortal

>>9242278
Those aren't squids.

>>9241912
He's gutting a fish you stupid faggot

>>9241978
reddit

>>9242243
>kill a nigger
>he turns white

>>9241968
SHEPARD

>>9241978

DUDE

WEED

LMAO

>>9239457
who is this guy?

>>9243322

He is the eggman. He is the walrus.

kookookachoo

>>9243411
he's secretly a narwal

>>9243411
kek, god I love /ck/ when I'm drunk

>>9240843
sauce?

>>9239457
dem stares
>why u filming me u stupid falang?

>>9242233

>Knowledge = autism

13 years old confirmed

>>9241978
shitty pasta begone

>>9240650
where can you purchase this

i want one, for me

>>9243610
southern states in murica

>>9241105
well that explains why he's so surly

>>9240838
i think that anon was just curious.

>>9240338
clever little bees

>>9239950
>Ariel Rebel

Why does she make me feel like shit? I blame the big brown eyes

>>9243595
I just thought of that post when I saw the webm and wanted to bring a smile to anyone else who thought of it.

>>9242277
Only if it has the form of Jesus.
Or just use a crucifix

>>9241591
kylie wordonovan

>>9240152
do you wanna make candy together anon

>>9240792
>>9241245
TV producers are fucking stupid and Amazon has no idea what to do with its streaming service
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hannibal_(TV_series)#Cancellation_and_possible_revival

>>9242139
wow this looks so much better

>>9241744
I hope you're not talking shit about Mett
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9g4X7LnR18

>>9242139
this looks like a cute wholesome cooking show

>>9240892
I didn't know John Turturro worked as a cook now.

>>9244289
I'm sorry for making you feel bad anon

>>9240812
>rice
Thats queso fresco

>>9240585
That'll be 400 dollars plus tip.

>>9240140
>the backsplash 'tiles' are actually dominos

>>9240744
This has to be satire. I'd imagine these flavors to taste like fucking shit when combined.

>>9242278
I didn't know this.

>>9242199
Then why aren't they fixed in place? Why the instant reversion? Surely the cells would keep the last known commands.

>>9242201
I don't know why but I feel more for squids then I do for cows, sheep, pigs, etc.

>>9243411
Does he have the master plan?

>>9243528
For me, drunkposting in ck surpasses regular shitposting

>>9240140
This is apex comfy
https://youtu.be/cIKnrFNsGpA

>>9241968
>this kills the squid

>>9243529
the guy carrying it is just like fuck im so tired of this bullshit

>>9239457
>That guy demolishing the boiled eggs

>>9242278
>It's common knowledge that squid can willingly change their own color
I guess I'm even more stupid than I realized

>>9239409
>Who in their bloody right mind thinks that this is a good thing to drink?
Who else but white people?

>>9245091
Maybe cause they're smart as fuck

>>9241912
If you're eat animals, why do you care about how they're treated?

>>9240152
It does, I know it is hot but it looks comfy and so warm.

>>9242199
some people don't know how chromatophores work or what they are anon, you don't need to be a big asshole because you've done some basic biology where others haven't

>>9241978
>Hi, I'm extremely autistic right now

>>9240338
whew first time on CK, thought that was for sure a live fish because of all the china hate threads on pol.

>>9240338
neighbors brought some local honey over, you can taste exactly what flowers the nectar came from
v nice stuff

>>9245091

>>9240143
What is this from?

>>9241912
It literally has no head, it's just muscle spasms.

>>9242199
As its been said
Ill say your not stupid still cause you know something amd take it for granted dont expect others to have a clue i dont expect you to know how to get laid or talk to women much less explore and live carnal fantasies like 3 women at the same time blah blah but you dont have me shitting down your throat about nonsense

>>9242237
>get back here

>>9242243
>. I figure if you're old enough to post here then surely you've taken a basic biology course and know how nerves work
I figure your head is so far up your ass that your hopeless
What i mean is
Do the decent world a favor and become extinct be choice please

>>9240235
do u think the raviolis r burnt?

>>9241658
What the HEK

>>9241994
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5gJDAM0hYM

>>9239630
>1:60
what did gookmoot mean by this

>>9240140
I would like to think he posts here

>>9245919
STOP POSTING JACK. SKREEEE. YOU'RE RUINING EVERYONE'S DAY BY POSTING JACK SHIT

>>9245925

>>9239972
You know you can pay attractive women with nice asses to bend over in front of you?

You can even pay them to have sex with you.

>>9239972
her ass used to be much nicer, then she got fat and gross
porn actresses should learn to retire when they're still hot

>>9245941
Electric saw blades always set me on edge. The whine they make and the constant threat of unwittingly slicing off a limb is highly unnerving.

>>9241696

What's wrong with raw bacon?

>>9241744

That's ground meat, not bacon.

>>9245941
>handmade ice cubes
What the fuck is wrong with you Japan, was it the nukes?

>>9246016
But that's chinese you dumb nigger.

>>9246028
What's the difference?

>>9246028
A Chinese factory wouldn't look like that

>>9241105
YOU HAVE TO EAT ALL THE EGGS

>>9239495
>>9240413
>>9240392
>americans.jpg

>>9240792
>pretty high quality
Only the best tv show ever you turbo plebbe.

>>9245645
They're probably fine anon, make sure you blow on em so you don't burn your mouth

>>9240981
>>9240838
Ummm reddit is that way kids.

>>9240731
This is rather interesting.

>>9242201
>>9241968
Fucking chinks.

>>9245961
It's the first one that gets me, where the guy is leaning out over a giant circular saw on a floor covered in ice.

>>9245091
Squids are supposedly highly intelligent.

Pigs are very intelligent too though. I wish I didn't enjoy pork so much.

>>9241658
All those cuts to show some asshole salting three pieces of porkbelly.
I can only assume that millenial retards who never set foot in a kitchen are impressed by this shit and that's why they do it.

>>9239479
Are those empanadas?
French empanadas?
Now I've truly seen everything.

>>9242148
Squids change color to camouflage.
He killed them, so they reverted to their original color.

>>9241935
this kills the prawn

>>9246097
it's an instructional video you fucktard.

>>9243532
Kay's Good Cooking - Fish cakes

>>9244358
I love Mett but this ain't right. Holy shit.

>>9245922
>oil, nice and cold

>>9241658
pure faggotry from start to finish

>>9240356
EXPAND DONG

>>9239457
YOU HAVE TO EAT ALL THE EGGS

>>9246073
Octopi are the intelligent ones.
Squids are half way there.

Octopi are as smart as chimps or elephants. The are one of the very few animals that pass the mirror test. (Can recognize themselves in a mirror)

>>9246143
Still absolutely no excuse for the shitty filming and cutting of the video.

>>9245091
Squids deserve to die they were created to be a sea horror. They even have fucking beaks, spike and suction tentacles, and a giant eye

>>9246848

why does it need an excuse

>>9241658
That's a lot of sodium

>>9246867
Why are you making excuses for it then? I just voiced my opinion on it which is that it's extremely poorly edited.

>>9246879
>I can only assume that millenial retards who never set foot in a kitchen are impressed by this shit and that's why they do it.

Went a little bit further than that.

>>9246937
That's still an opinion!

>>9246879

i didn't make excuses for it.

it isn't poorly edited. you don't like the editing because you think it's trying to be 'impressive' but that doesn't mean it's poorly edited.

>>9242278
>It's common knowledge that squid can willingly change their own color.
Common knowledge doesn't necessarily mean all or even most people know it. You could say it's common knowledge that Beethoven became deaf, but I wouldn't put money on any given stranger knowing it. Give me 10 random strangers and I'd probably put money on somebody knowing it.

>>9246143
If you think the primary purpose of that video is to instruct people on how to pour salt over strips of pork, you're wrong. It's nothing more than fanciful self-indulgence, with those unnecessarily dramatic gestures and over the top editing for what could be demonstrated in 10 seconds.

>>9246016
How else are you going to get them all shiny and without bubbles?

>>9247016

it's not fucking 'fanciful', pull your head out of your ass. it's stylised and edited to convey how simple it is and the time involved, that's all.

>>9239479
Bruno is king

>>9240072
I can't remember what it was called or anything else about it but this is definitely a UK hidden camera show from about 15 years ago

>>9241978
10/10 post I appreciate this post. I kek'd for a full minute

>>9242148
>>9242213
>>9242233
>>9242261
>>9242294
>>9245303
>>9245411
>American """education"""

>>9240892
sweet sweet cocaine

>>9240140
imagine putting this into an unsuspecting girl's hair then restraining her so she can't do anything then get out of there

she would have a hard time getting it out, she might even have to shave it all off!

haha

>>9239457
>that failed attempt to get the last bit of egg on the plate

>>9240194
I can seriously think of this as some kind of torture

the person would have his feet locked to the ground and told if any of the stuff gets onto the floor he is to be shot. unbeknownst to him, he'll be shot anyway

so he'll stand there pulling the stuff before it catches the ground then throwing it back up until he collapses

>>9240284
you can't put metal into a microwave

>>9240892
he must have hit his wife(?) a lot of time accidently by being like this

>>9247219
>>9247246
>>9247275

I get the feeling these posts are all by the same rather disturbed person.

>>9246097
you're a retard

>>9240490
You never saw this guy jump? someone post the You Tub vid

>>9239630
I know exactly why I have this boner

>>9247498
This is amazing

>>9239630
Wtf i could barely eat 1 of those burgers with fries and im fat mayne. this girl is some kind of ubermensh

>>9240235
Reminds me of that knucklehead who went to sleep (drunk) with a can of condoned milk on the stove.

>>9247755
idk

>>9247775
I wanna party with these guys.

>>9247537
I love Baumkuchens, especially those from Juchheim. I wonder how they manage to get them so smooth, unlike the traditional German method.

>>9247568
Oh shit, I remember watching this on TVB Pearl. Hong Kong always has been a great place to eat out.

>>9240235

i think i have a vore fetish now?

>>9245077
the crazy thing is that the combination works and it actually tastes good. my buddy made it and i tried it.

>>9242139
i appreciate you

>>9247905
I can imagine it, like people do pic related. It's mainly the sauce and the fact that it seems as if the watermelon itself would be nuclear.

>>9240356
Reminds of those tubeworms that live around undersea thermal vents.

>>9247991

>>9240715
masao?

>>9242139
My favorite cooking show

>>9248028
what is this

>>9248079
dude, his new channel he became so clean. still not like standard clean but like he is ok now.

>>9240596

Wow LOL!! HAHA

Jokes aside, I'd actually like to see the rest of the process.. Does that little pie become full size? Does it double in size?

>>9240737

I like this style of corn and thought to myself that it was a shame they used so much mayo and cheese.. then I saw how much time was left in the gif

Sick of these fucking mexicans destroying food

>>9240904

Was hoping for a wreck but honestly that probably felt absolutely euphoric to her drug-addled mind

>>9248201
that is extremely surprising considering the last i remember he could barely move through his tiny apt with all the trash

>>9248180
razor clam, he pours salt down the hole and then dribbles water so it soaks deeper. clam tries to get away from the over-saltiness.

>>9245941

Do all Japanese work incredibly repetitive, menial jobs for their entire existence on earth?

>>9248324

>>9248296

I thought that that was a rental unit or something and it was mostly a joke?

>>9242022
>a small farm that raises heritage breed.
This tbhfam, there's a farm by me that does pigs, the fat ring on their chops is like pudding.

>>9248337

I saw on a show once that the workers who construct modular homes are given the precise amount of nails/screws for their duties and if they somehow fuck up and have too many/too few that they are immediately dismissed and replaced with one of the dozens (hundreds?) of unemployed that are literally waiting outside for the opportunity of work

And yet westerners are under the impression that these people work with such finesse and speed due to their own "artisanal" endeavours, and not out of pure desperation & necessity

>>9248383
I mean, there are a lot of Asians that take their work to an autistic level of perfection, but that's more on a family trade. But a lot of the times its external pressure from employers.

>>9247833
do those little bug burgers really replenish the energy spent swinging a heavy metal pot around for hours to catch them in the first place?

>>>9240843
>I kept waiting for this idiot to cut his own palm
Thats, Kay. Not jack. I recognize that stove anywhere.

>>9240235
>when she slips her finger in your ass

>>9240689
I have not stopped giggling and throwing my hands up for 15 minutes straight. I've been watching commercial after commercial for this thing. I am dead. You have killed me.

>>9248742
doubt it. especially when you consider the portions. if they had a few more IQ points they would just come up with a simple net of some kind

>>9248742
>>9249893
actually, after some cursory googling they're saying it's "up to seven times more nutritious than the average beef burger." still makes me wonder about all the diseases and whatnot

>>9239950
>fucking hot dogs
>coated in corn flakes
>sticking the skewer into the hot dog and making that face as if to imply having your dick stabbed is somehow sexy
Nothing about this doesn't make me mad

>>9241905
is that puffer fish?

>>9250023
yea