/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9199518
Its so idiots will upload hastagged pics for free publicity.

lolsorandom!

>>9199518
That is clearly not a restaurant.

Also, your pic is a pretty tame example

>>9199518
It's restaurants catering to the instagram crowd, aka 90% of people. It's shit, but what can you do? Burn the restaurant down? Are you suggesting serial arsonist take back the night, OP?

Needs more sandals.

>>9199518
>>9199582
It's catering to instagramfags AND the fact it's easier to clean. Instead of washing 3 or 4 dishes, you wash a board and 2 small cups

I actually like this playing, desu. It's still functional, at least

>>9199518
And why would they do that? Are you perhaps suggesting that the presentation of the food somehow affects the quality of the food?

>>9199600
Really? I thought it would be more difficult to clean. I figure with the uniformity of dishes there's a system. But I've seen picture of food on shovels and shit like that, to me that doesn't exactly look easy to maneuver for cleaning in a kitchen.

>>9199518
That is a plate. A big wooden plate that doubles as a cutting board. Too edgy for me though.

>>9199518
They sprinkle peppercorns everyone but on the steak itself and is that a switchblade sticking out of it? What is this, a la cosa nostra steakhouse?

>>9199617
The only annoying part is the board itself, which you can't soak in a 3 stage like you would a regular plate for obvious reasons. You have to rinse and wipe those with a bleach solution, rinse, and then rack to dry. I suppose if you're dealing with dozens of tops that could get pretty fucking annoying

>>9199625
Argentinian would be my bet. Argentina has this thing where you go to a huge meat bbq and bring your own knife

>>9199569
yes it is

>>9199518
someone stole me lucky charms and replaced them with potatoes!

"no"

>>9199754
You're doing god's work, anon.

>>9199754

>>9199782
one of the garnishes is another fuckin bloody marry, that's brilliant

>>9199782
>>9199947
It wasn't funny or clever.
>>>/r/eddit

>>9199754
Look at all of those food stains seeping into the wood; that thing must smell like complete ass hole by the time they retire the wood. Those blocks cost a shit load of money too, so that meal is easily $300.

>>9199754

>>9199968
it was cute. calm your autism.

>>9199610
If they're willing to serve it on a slab of cardboard, I'm gonna guess they're not too confident in the food's quality to begin with.

>>9199968
Why would you send people to /r/?

>it's another post limit hitting thread where autists whip themselves into a furious hatewank frenzy over alternative plating
Soon to be posted: fireman's breakfast, alienea table dessert webm, and random stainless steel or ceramic item gimmicky plating from london restaurants that is somehow supposed to be insulting

>>9200009
alinea*

>>9200009

does it bother you that much that people find these alternative plating methods to be gimmicky, pretentious and/or obnoxious?

>>9200037
No, I just find it bizzare that week after week the same posters group together and get angry and sperg over the exact same photographs.

I fucking despise this shit. You Dig holes in the ground with shovels, they are unsanitary. Hipsters will throw their money away at anything gimmicky but not me no way.

>>9200161
I'm sure that shovel has never been use for digging and has been sanitized.

>>9200168
Doesn't justify using them instead of plates. If I was there and ordered a full breakfast and they brought it out on something used to shovel shit I would get up and leave.

>>9199754
kek

>>9199754

>>9199963
alright, made me kek

what would you do if you were served this?

me? I would ask for the waiters name and tell him to call the manager. I would then kindly ask them to get me a proper plate and a new hamburger pronto. I will then ask if I requested my hamburger on a mineral. Oh, and that will be on you for this mistake. I'm not coming back and I am telling my friends not to bother with a place that doesn't even use plates. Stuck in the stone age literally hahaha.

>>9200009
Hey, well look here
>>9200161
That's 1/3
But really, I agree. Fuck hipsters, pic related. Faggot even has a flat cap lmao

https://www.reddit.com/r/WeWantPlates/

that will be 200$ sir

youre hamburger sir

>>9199974
It actually cost me about 15 EUR from IKEA.
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/00233429/

>>9199518
Maccas uses boards here now so damned annoying

>>9199600
>washing a fucking wooden board
>easier than plates
I don't think so buddy

>>9200242
What did you just call me?

>>9200242
those fries must be so fucking soggy, like you are actively making the food worse with this shit

>>9200627
They're steamed hams.

>>9200198
I like stone plates for burgers and steak.

>>9200237
wat

>>9200240
Jesus, all those bug holes!

>>9199518
Bruv, you want ur bread in a flatcap or wot?
http://wewantplates.com/

>>9199518
>Use. Fucking. Plates
Use plates to steady the shovel

>>9200610
That's the plastic tray you tard

>>9200198
They'd probably tell you it's a rock and to stop pretending to be smart.

>>9199644
imagine bleaching tableware

>>9200240
I fucking hate these "plates", the scraping of the knives on them makes my skin crawl and unable to enjoy my food.

>>9200664
>Autistic frogposter that eats meals in the parking lot that

>>9200653
Those must get so unsanitary with the crumbs that stay behind in them, kids that put em on their heads...
I seriously doubt the restaurant washes them every day.

I was eating sandwiches at an Italian place with my mum last year, and they served the rolls in a tiny basket, crumbs were stuck inbetween the "threads" of the basket (because they're a bitch to clean ofcourse) in places that our sandwiches haven't been yet.
We got up and left, I'm glad my mum is woke about the whole meme plates deal.

>>9200198
The plate isn't what bothers me. Who the fuck plates anything with four fuck fries and a whole tomato? That's fucking stupid. I kind of like the plate, tho.

>>9200161
>>9200181

>>9199974
adds to the flavour

>>9199518
This doesn't bother me at all.

>>9200161
This just looks like a pain in the arse to eat from.

>>9199754

Seriously, what are they thinking

>>9199518
>reddit dots
get out

>>9199968
No fun allowed

>>9200242
Why'd you post a picture of goza?

>>9199518
obviously not a restaurant but some poorfag home

>>9200929
pretty accurate

>>9200929
lol okay this ones actually funny

WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS EVER STOP?

>>9201020
It's a restaurant

>>9199518
Those potatoes are the most infuriating part. Don't even care about the lack of plates.

>>9200161
The worst part is it's ON A PLATE.

>>9199518
>Dear restaurants: Use. Fucking. Plates.
Geez, what a terrible picture, cold butter, potatoes shoved vertically into a little crock, knife straight up. I'd be offended with that low temp cooked meat too. That fat looks hard and rubbery. Look at that flimsy paper. Instead of enjoying the juices with each bite, you have some soaker there that can't let it flavor the potatoes. Stupid.

Yea, there's a new restaurant near me that came out with a cutting board for some deconstructed sliced pork BBQ dinner, no roll, just sugary cornbread, and sides piled like that pick, and I was like, eww, may I have a plate? And, I never ate there again. You know they can't sanitize that between guests like they can the china and steel.

>>9200168
>I'm sure that shovel has never been use for digging and has been sanitized.
It's coated in black enamel paint that isn't even food safe. See the scraping off of it near the handle hole?

>>9200929
No amount of certifications of cleanliness will get me to eat out of a toilet bowl. This is actively degrading your customers.

>>9200198
only thing wrong here is the color of that patty.

>>9200237
da fuq?

>>9200929

Looks like someone took home souvenirs from the Poop Cafe.

>>9199518
>those four wedges

but i like getting a breadboard to eat on in restaurants, theres a lot more space

>>9200237
the horror in his face...

>>9199518

This doesn't look like a restaurant, just like a guy who's about to get laid.

basted

>>9199556
#retardsdonthaveplates
#shittyresturant

>>9199600
The only legal way to clean this shit for restaurant service is to wash them with bleach and let them dry by themselves because the wood is porous and will warp in conventional restaurant dishwashers. Waste of time and money all around.

>>9199600
>washing a wooden board, a metal tin and a fucking miniature cauldron is easier that washing 1(one) plate

what are you smoking dude

>>9201069
That's because you're supposed to eat the shovel

>>9199644
That's not the only problem. When you deliver these to a table, you can't just set it down. Your standard plate has a lip, which gives enough room for your fat knuckles to fit under and put anywhere on the table that's clear. With a board, unless it's the only thing you're carrying, which it's not, you have to set it over the edge of the table and then slide it in. You can't exactly put it on the table and quickly pull your fingers out, because it will by necessity drop on the fucking table and that's unprofessional as fuck. Fuck this fucking meme and the jews who propagate it. No "chef" who decides that they will be serving on one of these boards has ever waited tables. And I say this as a kitchen guy who has to run food when the servers get their semi-hourly cigarette/phone breaks. There's a reason regular old fuckin' plates are the norm.

>tfw brother recently opened a restaurant with his friends
>it is a fucking hipster stupid shithole selling 'alternative american burgers' as he describes them
>tfw they don't use ANY plates
>say this is part of the appeal
>instead of plates, they use clocks
>various types of clock depending on meal
>small burgers and stuff use regular wall clocks
>large steaks use fucking top half of grandfather clocks
>instead of knives and forks they use the arms from clocks that have been sharpened
>barely work
>tfw it only opened a few weeks ago
>already I have heard several people complaining about it and business has declined
>he refuses to change the clock plates even though it is obviously causing the business to fail
>keeps insisting that people don't want to eat from plates
>has even replaced all of the plates in his house with clocks
>refuses to accept that people are not going to eat from clocks
>tfw I was at his restaurant a few days ago and he had an argument with a customer because the customer was given soup served inside a hollowed out alarm clock and there was a piece of metal in the soup from the clock and he almost choked
>he wouldn't accept it was his fault

Also I saw him ordering a bunch of sundials the other day. fucking retard.

Wait. You guys aren't that retarded right? We had small wood trays similar to that (albeit much smaller) at the restaurant I worked at

These images triggered my autism and now I am so mad. Grrr grrr. I hope I fit in

>>9200896
>This just looks like a pain in the arse to eat from.
just use the shovel like a big spoon and dump the whole thing in your mouth

>>9202664
Pics or fuck off

>>9202664
wow is this pasta?

>>9200652
>Organic!

>>9201427
thats not horror. Thats the look of disgust from a man who is sick of feeling disgust.

>>9199610
Yes! Wood is porous; it soaks up things I'd prefer to taste, and keeps hold of previous meals.

Also, chips do not belong in a cup.

>>9200634
Principal Skinner?

>>9202664
I was waiting for some sort of punch line.

>>9202664
I've been there. The food sucks.

>>9200929
I'm not even going to say it

>>9200613
It should be the same, usually all the dishes just get put in a bin and then into the washing machine.

*throws arms up in frustration*

>>9202626
i'd rather have your mum be both the plate and the main course.

>>9200929
they knew what they were doing

>>9203110
I would legitimately send that back.

>>9200929
that can't be real

That will be 800$ plus tips for each individual waiter please.

>>9203151
>hipsterdining
>3 Michelin stars
Maybe you're just a boring flyover.

>>9199518
I love to eat my globs of mashed potato off a cutting board...not. I wonder if those juices will roll off the wood into my lap, also.

>>9199754
Then again, I could see why the Irish would treasure potatoes

why dont you bring your own plate huh??

>>9200929
>2017
>Pajeet still doesn't understand what loos are for

just argie things

>>9203146
It's very real.
Thanks, Taiwan.

just dump a garbage can on my table while you are at it.

>>9200929
That's actually kinda clever.
Though I'd laugh for 30 seconds at its comical value and tell them to serve it in a fucking bowl or on a plate.

>>9199754

>>9199782

I'm actually impressed they were able to build such a structure

>>9203151
What the ACTUAL FUCK is that bullshit.

>>9199518
That is a big fucking cut of meat

nothing like za on a tire

>>9203510
hahaha! I will never get tired of this

>>9203517
no? then how about just the hub cap?

>>9203151
i really hate desserts that have like a line of some sauce on the plate in which you are meant to dip the main thing

at least they used part of a plate at least

>>9203510
This is fucking awful.

Everything else in this thread is silly but plausible. But there is no way I'm eating anything off of or near a tire. What does a tire add to a pizza thematically, that justifies the additional flavor of vulcanized rubber?

your sandal maam

tips are mandatory

>>9200929
They should've served the curry on a piece of asphalt

that will be 46.99$ xir, please patriarchy tax

you guys are no fun

>>9203560
This just pisses me off. Those wooden trays are gimmicky but this is just the restaurant spitting in your face and expecting you to say thank you

>>9203546
Aesthetically disgusting. This chef is a dickhead

>>9199754
lole

>>9202664
It sounds like it's time for him to change his clocks

>>9203578
The brush looks dirty, too. I suspect the dustpan gets used for cleanup at the end of the night. I wonder if they just pop it in the dishwasher once in a while.

>>9203539
This is deep

>>9203539
i'm not mad at this

>>9199569
Doesn't look like a regular US restaurant but it seems like it could be a US restaurant trying to imitate a Japanese restaurant but with an actual decent amount of meat for the meal

>>9202664
TIMES are CHANGING anon

>>9202664
A broken clock is right twice a day

>>9203098
cant put wood in the dishwasher brah, that's dishwasher 101

>>9202664
pls b real

>>9203686
watch me

>>9200198

>>9203769
now watch me whip

>>9203151
>dude its for LE EXPERIENCE lmao

>>9204193
Now watch me /ck/

My dream is to open a restaurant so expensive and luxurious that, for every order, the guest gets a brand-new iPad instead of a plate. That's right: every meal is served on a brand-new, fresh-out-of-the-box iPad. Every iPad that gets left on the table after a meal is not washed or sanitized, but put into a wood chipper. Employees caught stealing iPads will face prosecution.

>>9202664
We've spent so much time absorbing the meme fumes that I can no longer say for sure that this is only satire.

Are the entrées served on watches?

>>9203110
Acceptable.

>>9203560
That dirty as fuck brush

>>9204268
it's a fucking flower pot

>>9203151
This is the only one I can tolerate, only because those circle dollops turn into fucking squares, wtf!

>>9204244
I hope I get to watch the ipad get shredded while I enjoy my McChicken. That'd keep me coming back

>>9204295
What the fuck how

>>9200669
anthrocon is based

>>9204301
I know...had to watch it twice before I noticed...wizadry

>>9202664
If I can't get a loan to expand my business, but that bonehead can get one, something is horribly wrong.

No. Take it back and bring it back on a god damn plate or I'm leaving.

>>9204366
Replace the Memeson jar with a paper cone and i'm fine with this desu

Fries gonna get soggy innat

>>9200037
>does it bother you that much that people find these alternative plating methods to be gimmicky, pretentious and/or obnoxious?

It bothers me that you wrote "plating methods" rather than just plates

>>9204395
Food presentations solutions

>>9204400
And I bet you use "chef" as an honourific

>>9202750
seeing him ordering sundials felt like a good ending line. Don't know if it's a punch line by definition but still funny.

>>9203151
I at least gave it the chance of being a cool drawing at the end but not even that! What the fuck was this?

>>9203562
my only problem with this is that I'm sure the food costs way more. Like a burger at some normal mom/pop shop would be $5 but that same burger in these places will be $20 because of the aesthetic and such

>>9203546
What's happening with his left hand here? My brain cannot figure out this hand.

>>9204472
Palm up, index and middle finger straight, ring and pinky curled upwards and inwards.

>>9204472
If you're familiar with the Christian Bale pose, it's like that.

>>9200242
I Wanna pour a gallon of milk into it

>>9199754
kek

>>9199518
>>9200198
nigh-ordinary
>>9200242
>>9203110
extravagant/impractical
>>9200655
offensive for several reasons
>>9200944
you know, the paper really makes the difference. And the cut-off handle.
>>9204288
it's ceramic/clay/whatever. It's just not glazed.

>>9199617
actually if they're made out of maple wood its antiseptic and needs no special treatment beside standard rubbing

>>9205638
the FUCK it doesn't

>>9205638
>if they're made out of maple wood its antiseptic
Then why don't kitchens have surfaces made entirely of maple wood so they skip the hours long cleanup each night? Stupid. chefs.

>>9205638
So that's why Druids never got sick. Interesting.

>>9200168
Instead they should serve chunky soup out of plugged toilet bowls. Of course they have never been used by someone to take a dump, and they are well sanitized.
I bet that would resonate really well with the poetry slam crowd, because the possibilities for interpreting stupid metaphors into them are endless.

>>9206054
already happened. Not even joking, scroll up.

>>9206113
Yeah. I saw after posting. Speaks volumes, when the most absurd example I could come up with, has already been done.

>>9200669
Tfw doggo eats better food than most people

>>9203151
>"Excellent choice sir, you see this desert is to be eaten off the table cloth itself. It's the most refined desert I've ever prepared young master, so of course it is quite pricey. The table cloth really helps with the flavor, and you can feel free to lick the table cloth like an animal, sir."

which restaurant is just going to start serving food on the floor first and I don't mean Japanese floor table style, I'm talking about just literally dumping food on the floor

>>9201175
thats not a real toilet though

>>9203562
This reads like something from an alternate universe.

>>9199610
Actually it does. Aesthetically appealing food is going to give the patron a more appealing dining experience and result in higher dopamine release, which literally makes it taste better to the patron.

>>9208197
>real communism has never been tried dot jaypeg

>>9200929
DESIGNATED

>Mini shopping cart
Stop the ride I want off.

>>9199754
This is fucking stupid but I enjoyed it anyway.

>>9203542
But that whole thing is edible

>>9199600
wooden boards are notoriously hard to clean.

the smell never goes away, and in a public place like a restaurant, it's probably full of infections

>>9200242
more like pinches

Please enjoy your iMeal. Did you sign the Terms of Service Agreement?

>>9208785
> it’s called “A Dog in Search of Gold” — a truffle dish served on an Apple iPad.

>According to Chef Michael Tusk of Quince on a Facebook post:

>The current presentation has proved to be a humorous and playful albeit unconventional way of engaging in that conversation. The video displayed on the iPad depicts the scene of a truffle hunt revealing the moment when the truffle is revealed and detected by the Romagnolo dog. The dish itself consists of a white truffle fritter with salt roasted celeriac and roasted porcini mushroom. The fritter is dusted with a dehydrated porcini powder as porcini mushrooms and truffles are in season at the same time and eat well together. Another component to the dish is a crisp of chestnut puree and roasted chestnut.

>>9199754
thank you anon

>>9208792
This "chef" should be drawn and quartered.

>>9202664
Holy shit I'm in te as

>>9208447
what the fuck is wrong with you

>>9203675
a working clock is most likely never right

>>9200072
>week after week the same posters group together and get angry and sperg over the exact same photographs.
you pretty much described 4chan perfectly

>>9200929
If I remember correctly this is from a novelty restaurant in japan that makes curry that literally tastes like shit, and has been verified by some porn stars that the taste is accurate

>>9208972
Whoah

>>9202664
Your brother is retarded, dude

>>9200929

I've often said I should just flush curry down the toilet due to the speed it goes through my system. I'm glad this place took my words to heart.

>>9203546
>imagining the servers having to lug bricks around

>>9199963
It's a Caeser, the Canadian cocktail. It's basically a bloody mary but with more shit in it.

>>9203151
I've seen this webm a dozen times and only just now noticed the boomer in the background struggling to breathe.

>>9203546
Remind's me of that fashion label that sells designer bricks for $40 or something. Hipsters literally lining up around the block to buy a brick from a clothing store.

>>9200181

>You Dig holes in the ground with shovels, they are unsanitary
>I'm sure that shovel has never been use for digging and has been sanitized.
>Doesn't justify using them instead of plates.

nigga he just demolished the whole reason you don't like them. how does that not justify them?

>>9207841
you mean waffle house or golden corral?

>>9203686
Lmao in a restaurant literally everything except knives and the pans on the line go through the dish machine.

>>9200009
I don't find alternative plating necessarily pretentious, for instance I quite like the way Heston Blumenthal presents a lot of his dishes. It's meaningful and experiential. I don't like when it's a cheap gimmick done for the sake of it,just to stand out.

>>9200161
I don't mind this too much since stokers on trains used to cook breakfasts like these on a shovel.

>>9200198
Why do you need fries and chips? Isn't one form of potato enough?

>>9203539
>any decent restaurant would throw out chipped plates
>this one is broken in fucking HALF

>>9200198
Its a rock

>>9209075
>needing a porn star
Everyone's tasted their own doo doo at least once right

>>9203539
>tfw you tell the waiter you're splitting dessert

>>9200652
That's a positive. The defensive chemicals produced by plants in response to bug bites are beneficial to humans. And they mean fruit is gud. Look for flay white bottom and bug bites to get sweet watermelon.

>>9209975
That would actually be hilarious, and I fully support using a cracked in half plate for splitting desserts.

>>9202736
that's a fuccing cauldron

>>9203367
i seriously thought those were feet in jars from the thumbnail

>>9199518
Did you buy a house too? Do you get angry that people don't stay at their jobs for 30 years then retire? Avocados, amirite?

>>9199968
This

>>9202787
good.

>>9203547
a designated piece of asphalt

>>9209075
>novelty restaurant in japan
>placemat website link ends in .tw
>placemat text is in chinese
>placemat locations are all in taiwan and china

>>9203367
oh fuck, i thought those were human feet

>>9203505
thats lit as fuck, they serve it to you the new galaxy tablet, and it has aesthetic backgrounds and shit.

it'd be even better if i could muh netflix shows as i eat of the screen.

>>9203539
>Gene Wilder's favorite way to dessert

>>9203151
thats nice. but wheres the food?

>>9200240
Hey, If you have leftover floor tiles, you might as well use them.
>INB4 that webm