/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I tried to open up a freezie pop with a knife and ended up slicing my thumb open pretty good

Grabbed a pan that I forgot had been in the preheating oven for a while. Didn't feel any heat or pain right away, walked around holding it for a bit then suddenly felt intense pain and threw it onto top of stove. Ran hand under cold water for 45 minutes while sweating and struggling to stand. Entire lower part of fingers and top part of palm was blistered, about 30% of my hand. Still get nervous whenever I go to grab that pan, even if it hasn't been in the oven.

>>9152269
> Ran hand under cold water
Thats' where you fucked up. That's how you get blisters son.

>>9152276
>implying blisters aren't caused by the serverity of the burn

>>9152276
It was just cold from the tap, not freezing cold. And I think if you get blisters or not depends on how severe the burn is. I think you're supposed to run it under water anyway to help bring the temperature down.

Self-inflicted by a torch.

>>9152276
I am OP and when I showed my gf the blister in the picture she said 'didn't you run it under cold water?' I said no not at all. She said 'that's why it blistered'

>>9152328
get a new gf then shes retarded

>>9151903


Done the same anon. 1 year on still have a scar on my hand from the blister

>>9152276
nah, what you do is rub butter on it

won't help, actually it will make the burn worse, but it smells fantastic

>>9152295
Yes, anon is right. Water temperature is fine from the tap

Didn't happen to me, but sounds painful.
My dad used to work at a restaurant, and he needed to fry something, so he asked his partner if the fryer was on. To check if it was on, his partner just walks over and dips his hand in the fryer, and sure enough, it was on.

I can't say I've really injured myself that badly in the kitchen before

One time I grated off a knuckle it wasn't serious but it was worse than any knife injury or burn I've suffered

Dropped a soda bottle onto my foot and broke it.

>>9152574
The bottle broke? Or your foot broke?

>>9152574
What the fuck
Let's assume it was coke, with a density of 1.042g/mL but whatever it's not like other fizzy drinks have a density much greater/lower than that.
Assuming the bottle was 2L then that bottle hit your foot with a force of 20.44N
How in the fuck did you break your foot

a few years back I had to clean the flat-top at work. You know, pumice stone and grease.
Put too much grease on it and it slashed all over my exposed arms and into my eyes, hurt like hell and screwed me up bad for a few months
Surprisingly it didn't leave a scar despite the burns being so large.

>>9151903
OP, you're supposed to cook the eggs in the frying pan not in your hand.

I stabbed myself in the penis.
Worst part is that I was trying to cook dinner for a girl. I was cooking a shrimp pie and when I was trying to slice into a Plantain, and I tried to do it standing in front of her, pretending the Plantain was my dick as a joke. I slipped and the knife went right through. had to go to the fucking hospital cos of this shit.

>>9151903
a bit of hot oil splashed on me

>>9152304
p. hardcore man

make sure you show that to potential employers during job interviews

>>9152639
but let's assume that it's a glass bottle that is roughly half the size so it's only 11 Newtons crashing onto the foot, now let's assume that it's the worst case scenario.

Let's assume that say, the corner only hit so it's only 1 cm^2 of total area. So doing some dimensional analysis, the amount of pressure on the small portion of foot is 111000 pascals, which is roughly 16 psi. In an instant, that is 16 psi focused on a very small portion of the foot which should be enough to crack a small bone like a metatarsal.

>>9152782
I see, you are correct. However, would it not be rather unlikely for only 1/cm^2 of bottle to be in contact with the metatarsal? I can't find any data about the dimensions of the base of a glass coke bottle but assuming a diameter of 6cm we arrive at a surface area of 28.3cm^2.
OP must have been seriously fucking unlucky.

>>9152850
Those big Mexican glass cokes are roughly 4 cm diameter and it's rare that a random uncontrolled drop from some klutz lands exactly on its base.

Even if it's a plastic 2l bottle that's still comes out to about the same if not more force due to the diameter of one of the corner pegs on the bottles being both rigid and roughly 1.5 cm diameter, assuming only one peg hits of course.

Yeah its pretty shitty luck anyway

>>9151903
I got all sore from peeling kiwis when all the bristles rubbed up and down against my skin ;_;

>>9151903
When I was a kid I tried to light the gas-grill in our boat for no specific reason. The matches were a bit moist though and sparked, but didn't want to catch fire. Meanwhile, the gas was already on, while I was still hacking away matches on the matchbox.

Suddenly one lit up. But the joy from that didn't last long, because all I remember next was a big whoosh and the smell of burned hair.

Nothing was burning, so I quickly turned the gas off, and walked out like nothing happened. Apparently my missing hair and eyebrows, the big flash of light from the boat, and the smell of burning had already given away what I had been doing.

My face felt like I had severe sunburn for days.

>>9152276
>this level of misinformation and stupidity

Yea, the same treatment that emergency first responders will give you for the majority of burns below 3rd degree is obviously the wrong thing to do. If only more medical professionals knew the hidden gems in your wive's tales. God, I've been thinking about it wrong this whole time!

>>9152276

>>9152955
they used to tell you not to sleep after a concussion

>>9151903
I work at a station, people walk up and expect you to make it for them on the spot. I have 8 burners, and above them, a cold spot for the stuff I cook. ("ingredients" for the average /ck/ user)

well the retard who was instructing me left a goddamn tong hanging over the 'cold area' directly over the flame of the 'hot area'


my illiterate and illegal cooking instructor said
'put this in that' and I grabbed a RED HOT tong.
Since then I have become the exective chef and have cut all the dumb illegals out of the kitchen and now life is good.


don't put up with some dumb idiot telling you to put the you know what in the you know where.


when dealing with food language is imperative, ask for planograms, diagrams or a simple written recepie when dealing with aliens in the kitchen.

>>9151903
SUGAR BURN
U
G
A
R

don't mess with immersion blenders.

>two years ago
>busy lunch rush
>run out of salad
>go prep some more
>somebody calls my name
>look over while I keep chopping
>end of the knife comes down on my thumb
>it is super sharp and feels like a paper cut at first
>suddenly begins to bleed and throb painfully

I learned to keep my eyes on the blade after that. Took about a month to heal and for the nail to grow out.

There was a different time when was leaning over the fryer and a drop of sweat rolled off of my nose and into the hot oil. It made the oil pop and a droplet hit my tearduct, it hurt so bad that I had to just step away for a couple of minutes and let the pain subside.

I also seared my pinky on a really hot flat top that had oil on it.

Protip if you get burned with hot oil: immediately dunk your burn in icy water and keep it there for as long as you can stand. I'm not sure why, but every time I have done this, the burn doesn't swell up and fill with liquid like in op's photo.

>>9153322
Same as you, I have never injured myself with a knife unless I was distracted. Lots of little fingertip cuts from the produce department.

>>9153339
That was the first and last time for me.

I forgot to mention that there was this other time when my coworkers dropped a pot of boiling water by my feet. I kicked off my shoes and took off my socks as quickly as I could, but some of it got through and blistered my toes.

I'm happy when I make it through the day without any accidents.

I had some burn damage on my fingers which led into getting a irritating skin condition on my hand that lasted for years.

>>9153316
>don't mess with immersion blenders.
Fuck. Ok. I will NOT mess with immersion blenders. Fuck. I might even give mine away on Craigslist. Holy fuck.

But srsly. You down for a handy?

I just about cut the tip off my finger the other night making ramen. Dumbass.

>>9151903
boiling hot refried beans to the nose. shit was busy as fuck though so I just wiped off and went on

>>9151903
just got done cooking ground sausage and i went to cook an egg in the grease. I had the grease too hot and when it egg plopped in the grease hopped out the pan and onto my foot. I'd say it left a blister about 2-3 times bigger than that on the top of my foot. so no shoes for a few days, thank god for summer vacation.

>>9153472
You just reminded me of that poor lady that put hot beans in her blender and they exploded in her face

>>9153316
You need to be a special kind of retard to touch the blade while the cord is in the plug.

>>9153468
>cutting yourself making ramen

Were you adding veggies and stuff?

>>9153110
That's still valid, is to evaluate neurologic response. Sleepness means less O2/ circulation is going correctly to the brain.

>>9153500

I was cutting up a veg stock mirepoix. Dicing while watching television. I did this once about 5 years ago and caught 2 fingers in it. My kitchen looked like the kill floor of an abattoir. Drinking really thins the blood.

Was melting shugar for decorating the cake, i dipped my finger in on accident. I don't really feel the heat as much since i'm a grill, so i left the molten caramelized shugar on my finger while I finished the decoration. Big mistake, it left a blister that fell off in three days and left a hole in my skin. I didn't dare to remove nailpolish with acetone since i had a gaping wound. Now i have a scar, sad sob

touched the skin of my forearm to a fresh baking pan, ended up with minor scar
have yet to cut myself
get bruises on my thighs all the time from slamming into protruding metal parts

a guy i know had a steamer blow up on him (he's ok)

>>9154216
pulling sheetpans of meat out of an overloaded combi, very top one is slightly above my head. bitch tilts as I'm grabbing it and hot meat juice goes all over my arm, side, and thigh. my reaction? yell fuck then keep on keepin on

i've never had anything besides minor cuts/burns, but my mom was at work a few years ago and someone dropped a huge pot of near-boiling broth on her feet

she couldn't walk for weeks, it was horrible

>>9151903
Stupidly threw something in some hot oil without thinking and had it splatter over my forearm. Thankfully it wasn't a lot of oil, so only a few blotches caught my skin, but they've left permanent marks.

>>9153562
You didnt feel the heat because youre a grille.....its because youre a fuckin idiot

>>9153562
Tfw you come to /ck/ to get away from your scar kink on /d/. Tfw /ck/ only reinforces the kink you wanted to repress.
Why must you do this to me, you beautiful hand?

>>9152276

The idea is to get the temperature down as quickly as possible. The damage has been done

>>9152694
I think you already fucked up when you pretended one of your ingredients was your dick

>>9151903
I was at a party at the park with a charcoal bbq.
I saw what appeared to be an unlit briquette lying on the ground not far from the grill.
I picked it up and immediately felt a searing heat in the palm of my hand. I quickly dropped the briquette but it stilled branded my hand with the logo of the charcoal company.

>>9152276
One of the only consistently proven techniques to minimize tissue damage and reduce blistering for first and second degree burns is to immediately cool down the wound with cool (not ice cold–this can make it worse) water. This is in every first aid and medical text.

I burnt my arm trying to flip some frozen chicken tenders in a toaster oven. It doesn't hurt, due to autism.

>>9153268
It has to be fake, right? How could you fuck up so badly?

>>9153562
Maybe next time you won't put your unsanitary fingers in the food and use a spoon if you want a taste

>>9151903
Poured about 250 gram of liquid hot butter of my bare foot once. Had to bandage it for 2 weeks.

>>9151903
> Slicing sausage with a knife for omelette
> Slice thumb by accident
> Knife goes down right on top my my thumb
> Nail flakes off where it was hit, blood all over.
> No real damage to the finger
> Resolve to sharpen knife

> Peeling potatoes
> Slip
> Peel side of fingertip
> Peel it COMPLETELY OFF
> Faint but permanent mark where it grew back

Food-related but not cooking
> Clearing up after morning deliveries at work
> Stack dollies too high
> Hit top of doorframe
> Top one slides off, drops on my head
> Major concussion
> Minor brain damage
> Don't remember much of the next 6 months
> Still suffering memory issues
I legitimately broke my brain and it looks like I'm never getting my memory back.

>>9152574
Safety boots, anon.

I cracked my breast bone trying to get a heavy box down from the top shelf in the back. Corner landed right on the bone and I still have a slight bump 4 years later.

Most frequent "injury" is red and raw hands from washing them so much.

>>9155195
apply for disability bruh you'll be set for life

Put a pizza into the oven. My coworker didn't see that my arm was still in there when he tried shutting the oven door and pressed the metallic and well-heated frame of the oven doort into my arm. The next day at work I was handling the produce brought by the delivery man, slipped with my hand and cut open the burn with the edge of the box the produce was in. Another time I had some hot oil spill over my entire left hand, making it look like I was a leper. Both incidents hurt like shit but it could've been worse.

>>9151903
when i was 3 i begged my dad to cook me some bacon and being the little shitter i am i grabbed at the pan and it tilted sending burning grease on my face

>>9155353

>pressed the metallic and well-heated frame of the oven door into my arm

Anyone who hasn't burned the living shit out of their arms and/or hands while working with pizza isn't a true 'za-slinger. I worked at two pizza places when I was younger and got burned at each. It was a mark of ascension

>>9152639
that's the force it would have applied if the bottle was just placed there
in reality, even with a bottle of about 2kg you have to consider that the force will be higher than 20N because of the acceleration of gravity, and the force will not be evenly distributed on the foot it lands on - say a surface of 2cm^2 hits the foot, and that's generous if the bottle lands vertically
Assuming the bottle starts falling from 150cm from your foot, the kinetic energy when it reaches it is a bit less than 30J.
Guessing your foot will be compressed by about 1cm, and that's also probably generous, the average force applied by the object if it was a point would be a bit less than 3kN, which (now I'm not really sure of this but whatever) is 1.5kN per cm^2 of your foot, about the same force applied by a 300kg object being placed on 2cm^2 of your foot.

so you're very much wrong

>>9155367
Jesus christ. How bad was it? Scarring? Your poor dad must have felt fucking awful

I was cutting very ripe grape tomatoes with a not enough sharp knife, to do so I was holding one tomato at a time with thumb and index finger, putting the blade in the middle and slicing, and it was working well enough.
I then decided to try holding half the tomato with more fingers, the knife pretty much splattered the tomato and went some 15mm into my thumb, sideways, 1 to 2cm from the tip.
Had to use a bandage to cover my nail and keep it from being teared off when doing everyday shit.
I like sharp knives better.

>>9152694
That's some pretty hardcore method acting.

Sorry for the picture quality.

Opening a coconut.

I usually do it fast, chopping the outside layer into segments I pull off. Got distracted and the machete just went through the entire coconut, inside shell included. As a reflex, since the stroke felt wrong I sort of let the hand holding the coconut go limp and follow the blow with no resistance. It avoided further injury but did not save me.

>>9153316
Thought that was your dick for a sec

>>9155517
>Opening a coconut.

We've found her!

The only awful thing I really ever had was going to grab something hot out the oven without protection (as you do) and got burned. Other than that the odd occasion of catching my thumbnail on the potato peeler. And that one eerie time I did it washing a grate too (pic related).

Deep knife cut in the back of my hand when i was like 8 from the knuckles to the wristbone. Messed up the muscles a bit so my hand shakes a lot and legt a scar though its barely visible now. Didnt get any disability though. It doesnt affect me much besides the shaking. Motorfunctions are not affected in any way.

>>9155574
so what's the context here? two shmucks with no service experience somehow found the capital to open up a hipster joint?

>>9156136
It's from a TV show called The Restaurant.

I don't have a pic cause I was like 7 when it happened. I was cooking Easy Mac in the microwave and forgot to get a towel to pick up the bowl after it was done. I opened the microwave, really quickly grabbed the food and immediately spilled it all over my hand. My sister told me to stop crying and locked me in the basement for two hours. Probably had first degree burns all over my hand.

>>9151903
idiot here, can someone give me the science as to why it gets like that?

>>9153562
>I don't really feel the heat as much since i'm a grill,

>>9156175
Skin blisters and fills with liquid to keep the wound sterile while it heals.

>>9156192
why the varying colors (mine was different)? how's the liquid supposed to help sterilization?

>>9153110
That's still true ya dingus

>>9156224
>why the varying colors (mine was different)?
That I couldn't tell you. Every burn blister I've ever had has contained clear fluid.

>>how's the liquid supposed to help sterilization?
The liquid happens to be sterile. Not popping the blister is what maintains that sterile environment.

>>9156224
>why the varying colors (mine was different)? how's the liquid supposed to help sterilization?
It's a bunch of white blood cells and blood plasma. It helps sterilization because it keeps the wound moist and protected from the outside environment full of germs.

>>9153562
im a grill btw xD

>>9153562
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>>9151903
>5 years ago
>Literally no experience cooking besides doing garnish at family catering business
>Decide to finally start cooking for myself
>Peeling potatoes to make fries
>Hand slips and I feel a sharp pain in my thumb
>Look down and potato is covered in blood
>I sliced the skin on my knuckle down to the bone
>Run wound under water, wrap it and throw out bloody potato
>Learn my lesson and actually use a peeler

I was using a knife the whole time without even acknowledging the danger, There's still a scar on the back of my thumb and i've since then learned proper knife safety

>>9153562
Yeah, make sure to get those manicured fingernails in the pic, roastie.

>>9153562
>shugar

Are you trolling or are you actually retarded?

>>9156552
>manicured
It's been a while since you saw a girl up close, hasn't it?

>>9152937
>something something about a New Zealand serial killer exclusively targeting beard men and skinning them for sexual satisfaction

.

Hot oil spilt onto my foot. No socks or shoes for weeks.

>>9156565
I'm not retarded just not a native English speaker.

>>9151903

>chopping turnips for some roasted vegetable thing I was making
>took necessary precaution and sliced off an end to create a flat surface so the turnip wouldn't roll when I was attempting to cut it
>motherfucker somehow rolled ANYWAY
>knife goes between my left thumb and forefinger, cuts down to bone
>blood everywhere
>fuuuuuck it's not stopping
>wash the cut, clean my counter off, tie paper towels around it, secure with rubber bands
>...should it still be bleeding? Whatever.
>had started getting a little dizzy so I made myself a cup of really strong Earl Grey and went back to cooking

>>9155152

Take note that it is a woman's hand

Literally 100% of men would have pulled it out, poured whatever over the counter antiseptic solution they had onto their hand, held back tears, wrapped that shit up and let it sit for a day.

Then again, a man wouldn't have done that in the first place.

Though a couple questions can be raised, like how the avocado resisted oxidation for the time it took to visit urgent care. A halved avocado starts going brown less than half an hour after it's exposed to oxygen, yet the avocado in pic looks like it was cut just before the photo was taken.

>>9157861
>Literally 100% of men would have pulled it out, poured whatever over the counter antiseptic solution they had onto their hand, held back tears, wrapped that shit up and let it sit for a day.

You must be an American. In the UK we'd be straight down to A&E to get that properly looked at.

>>9156276
>>9156251
oh, quite informative. thanks senpaitachi

>>9157861
>%100 of men would do some kinna stupid shit that could lead to them becoming disabled down the line
sounds about right

>>9155577
those near misses make you appreciate life

>>9151903
Once at work I reached in the fryer to pull up a basket and a coworker of mine reached into the other side of the fryer for another basket, and she touched the basket to the back of my wrist as soon as she pulled it out of the oil. The back of my wrist looked like OP pic and after it popped the scar that was left was a perfect imprint of the grate of the fryer basket. It's since nearly disappeared.

Sort of recently I cut my hand while scoring the skin on some pork belly at home. The knife was not very sharp (was at someone else's house) and slipped and somehow caught my finger. It didn't hurt too much, but it bled and bled and bled for two days, not very fast but I had to change bandaids every two hours because they would just fill up with blood

I don't have health insurance but if I did I might have opted to go get stitches. Anyway, it's fine now.

Re-heating leftover bbq in an 20yo, pretty fucked up electric oven. Some molten fat squirted from the oven, somehow got through my shorts and burnt the tip of my dick. Not very pleasant.

>>9153293
>making BBQ sauce
>ow, I touched the edge of the pan
>Ow that's FUCKING MOLTEN LAVA FUCK YOU BROWN SUGAR

>>9157861
>not applying lemon juice to your avocado if you are not planning on eating it right away

>>9159163
>implying that helps

>>9153322
lol bro guide with your knuckles like a real man

>>9151903
I almost cut off a quarter inch of my left thumb. There was enough flesh left to provide blood flow to keep the cut off part alive and it healed back in place like 95% fine. There still a scar 3 years later and I have intermittent tingling as more nerve endings reconnect. Regained about 90% sensation.

i cut nearly a cm3 off of my left index finger because i got distracted mincing cilantro while watching a few items on the flat top during an unexpected mid afternoon rush about two years ago.

granted i wasn't guiding the knife properly and was excited cause work friends came into the kitchen so it was entirely my fault.

i still can't play guitar the same to this day.

funnily enough my two coworkers that were with me that day squabbled over and almost got into a fist fight over whether or not to save the piece of my finger i cut off. sadly they did not.

>>9152276
You get blisters from how much and how far the heat penetrated. You can cause further damage by rubbing ice on it, but cold water won't have the same problem.

>>9159210
i'm >>9159217
you got lucky not cutting all the way through. i cut clean through my index finger but it's grown back incredibly well and is less noticeable now as it was when it first healed.

>>9159167
>he doesn't salt his wounds
>he isn't covered in a plethora of scars

>>9157861
>pulling out a serrated knife
A real man would know that you shouldnt pull out a serrated knife out of your fucking palm unless you want to faint from blood loss or cause irreparable nerve damage

>>9151903
my mother did something similar, years back. She spilled some of the gravy from a ham she was cooking on her foot, and got a blister over the entire upper are of her foot.

>>9157861

>100% of men would have pulled it out

I'm a line cu/ck/ and would never put a steak knife through my hand trying to de-seed an avocado, but if I did manage to put a knife through my hand I sure as fuck wouldn't pull it out.

I'd rinse it, towel it down, cover the area with antiseptic, wrap it up, and have someone drive me to the ER. Only a fucking retard would pull the knife out; that's how you make the wound twice as worse, and end up bleeding all over the place before you get a chance to see the paramedics.

>>9159325
I'm a nurse and I think you have the right idea.
The other guy is a retard, obviously.

Took a sheet pan of kale out of an oven, to take down hall to other kitchen.Call out 'Corner, HOT' not that anyone listens. Then when some retard walks in front of my I had to dodge him and ended up clotheslining myself with a 450° pan.
Sucked donkey balls

sliced into my left index finger about 1 cm while cutting potatoes

last week i was checking a steak's sear on the underside with a single fork and it flopped and spilled oil right under my right wrist

Splashed a bunch of boiling water on my abdomen. No pics but it hurt like a motherfucker.

>>9156188
Grills are tougher than homins. They are made from metal and can handle high temperatures :)

>bakin cookies
>moving fresh baked pans to speed rack and raw pans to oven
>neuron misfire
>pull a baked pan halfway out of rack with bare hands
>struggle with pan for a few moments before realizing i can push it back in with my tiddy

>>9152276
all the times ive burned myself and had blisters form without touching the burn tells me that you are fucking retarded and just spew shit youve heard other people say

>>9157019
underrated

>>9159325

>pulling it out would make the would twice as worse
>I'd go to the ER

Huh, I'm still trying to figure out what the ER is going to do that doesn't strictly entail pulling the knife out.

Somehow I'm the retard for suggesting you pull the knife out yourself and save hundreds of dollars out of pocket (not to mention the dignity you preserved from enduring the nurses palming their mouths in stifled laughter while they try to discreetly take pictures on their phones).

>>9159330

Purely shocking that the person who has devoted their life to medicine sides on the hyothetical decision that guarantees their job security. It's a shame that more people don't suffer from the crippling disese known as "incompetence" or else your student loan debt would practically pay for itself.

>>9161836
>the idea that it's bad to pull an embedded object out of your wound is a conspiracy propagated to keep nurses working

i don't even have a funny quip about this, what is wrong with you anon

Tried to chop a knife into an avocado pit so I could twist it out. Knife went straight through and into my hand. Mistakes were made, lessons were learned.

Also, not in the kitchen, but food/drink related; a fresh pot of tea fell on my foot. Skin wrinkled down like an old sock. When a nurse put it in a cold bowl of water, it just slid right off.

>>9151903
just pop it you pussy

>>9155376
Bullshit faggot...I worked for a year at a Sabarros making pies, and I never got burnt...
Mind you, this was in the 80's...

>>9162063
Sliced it open with a knife and squeezed out all the warm juice into the kitchen sink :')

>>9161836
Lmao mate do you really think Big Med is encouraging people to go to the ER for injuries like that, purely to make a profit, where people could be patching themselves up at home just as safely and professionally?

>Doctors hate him! Avoid medical expenses ENTIRELY with this ONE simple trick!
>the trick is don't go to the doctor

>>9162157
>>9161877

I fully understand why you guys feel the way you do. Years of conditioning by normie parents that have sold you down the river in more ways then you can count by pushing the principles of their generation's self-serve economy onto you and never teaching you an actual skill or how to fend for yourself.

Just pull the fucking knife out. If you excluded the last 50 years, literally anybody from any timeframe in the window of our existence would, but now that we live in a time where either the rich or the teat-suckling insurance junkies can go get some rubbing alcohol spritzed on it while a guy in a white suit does what you would have done at home, all of a sudden I'M the retard.

Not me, my uncle
>Making candy apples with my uncle
>"Now we taste the coating"
>What.jpg
>UNCLE PUTS ENTIRE FINGER IN BOILING SUGAR SYRUP
>WE'RE BOTH SCREAMING
>FINGER BUBBLING
>MFW

>>9162289
If you clip an artery and "just pull the fucking knife out" you better call 911 before you pass out in a few minutes

>>9151903
I was a latch key kid and I started cooking my own meals around 8 years old. Grandma used to let me cut vegetables supervised at that age, and I'd just cook myself basic stuff like kraft mac and cheese and rice a roni.

One day while I was alone at homeand 9 years old, I wanted mashed potatoes and figured I knew what to do. Just boil potatoes until you can poke em with a fork, then mash with butter and milk. Never skinned a potato, but I've seen adults do it. Like an idiot, I skinned the potato with the blade going towards me and held the potato awkwardly.

I peeled off quite a bit of skin down my hand and my arm. It wasn't that deep, didn't have to go to the hospital or anything. But there was blood everywhere and I freaked out.

Wasn't the worst injury I've had. But one of the most memorable and spookiest

>>9157861
>Literally 100% of men would have pulled it out, poured whatever over the counter antiseptic solution they had onto their hand, held back tears, wrapped that shit up and let it sit for a day.
I wouldn't because I'm not a fucking dumbass. I'd like to keep the most function in my hand possible, thank you. I'd go to the damned emergency room.

>>9159149
This made me laugh my fuckin ass off

>>9162289
OK but why have I been conditioned by my normie parents when health care has been free in my country since everyone living's earliest memory?

>put something in the microwave
>as I open the door a moth flies into my face
>I instinctively jerk my head forward
>catch the corner of the microwave door right in the middle of my forehead
>bleeding everywhere, 4 stitches

>>9163275

>health care
>free

Health care is free in your country in the same way that credit is free money in our country, in that it only appears that way to idealistic retards.

>>9163360
Top kek

>>9152304

drop it on yourself did you?

>>9151903
i was slicing the foil off the top of a wine bottle (after drinking the wine) so i could use it as a dildo and the knife slipped into the base of my thumb. i have a scar now. i still stuck the bottle up my ass though

>>9164540
No, when the top 5% are forced to pay their fair share of taxes, don't spend 1 trillion/year on a military already bigger than the next 20 countries combined, and reign in big pharma/medicine, it is free. We are an embarassingly pathetic being the richest nation in the world with the 37th ranked healthcare system in the world and getting ready to go lower if the current crop of buffoons have their way.

>>9152565
>grated off a knuckle
>it wasn't serious

I don't know man knuckles are kind of important

>>9151903
Not me but a kid I knew

>>9165460
Burns around the beltline are fucking annoying. I spilt a bowl of instant noodles on my crotch once (above my benis, luckily) but wearing pants was a mission for however long it took to heal.

>>9161836
>save hundreds of dollars out of pocket
How's that '''first world''' health care doing for you?

>>9164914

Aww, did babby not get their way this election?

It's a statistically proven fact that the more wealthy you are, the more jobs you provide for this country, and considering that most people receive health care through their employers, this means that the wealthiest Americans provide healthcare to more Americans than anybody else. A=B=C.

But feel free to continue blaming the rich for all of your problems, not like facts would have ever made you reconsider your exhausted narrative.

>>9165518

It's working great for me, I appreciate you asking. My healthcare plan is a $10/mo. membership and a meager amount of vegetables. Haven't visited a medical professional of any kind in 3 years. I also begrudgingly paid Obama's "shared responsibility" fee which was exactly (I just did the match) 413.2% more than my social security and medicare taxes combined.

>>9165554
>, not like facts would have ever made you reconsider your exhausted narrative.

This. People always pick the easy target.

Overweight? Must be that gluten. Or GMOs.
Romance problems? Oh, that's because men are all assholes and women are all bitches.
Problems in school? Yeah, that prof is so unfair.
Financial problems? Those damn rich people again, keeping me down.

>>9165584

This. The truth is almost always a hard pill to swallow, that is unless you care more about actual results then living in a fantasy world.

>>9165554
>It's a statistically proven fact that the more wealthy you are, the more jobs you provide for this country
>le ebin trickle down

The "trickledown" myth is exceeded in credulity ony by the Horatio Algier myth. Here's an article that points out the fucking the middle class gets in the tax cut proposal. Over 70% of the cuts benefit people making over $144,000/year.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/anthonynitti/2017/03/01/president-trump-promises-massive-middle-class-tax-cuts-but-will-he-deliver/amp/

Nice job refuting anything in my post too, numbnutz. You said nothing other than projecting a worn out myth debunked everytime it's attempted.

>>9165803
>The "trickledown" myth is exceeded in credulity

How on earth could it be a myth? What do you think happens to money that rich people get--does it magically vanish somehow?

If Goldman McRichjew spends his millions on fancy cars, exotic vacations, and builds a massive mansion then his money goes to the car dealership and its employees. It goes to the travel agents, the airline staff, etc. It goes to the construction workers, the materials suppliers, and so on.

If instead he puts his money in the bank then the bank lends it out so that other people can use it to buy cars, homes, and so on. In either case the money ends up paying people's salaries.

>>9165817

Please, this person needs more than just a refresher on basic economics to understand why their irrational hatred for people with more money than them is unjust.

>I heard my friends in high school say trickle-down economics was a myth, so I'm going to bring it up even in discussions where it doesn't apply at all

Rich people became rich by providing jobs. That isn't trickle down economics, that's just economics.

Cut my thumb nail in half while slicing a tomato.

>>9165817
>how could trickledown be a myth?

For one, here's something that demonstrates graphically the effects on unemployment rates under every president since Truman. Under every democratic president except for Truman the unemployment rate decreased. Under every republican "trickledown" republican the unemployment rate increased. Under Reagan, it skyrocketed and then went back to near what it was when he took over from Carter.

http://historyinpieces.com/research/us-unemployment-rates-president

Consider yourself btfo. It's OK, a lot of the rights misconceptions are ingrained in you poor sots.

>>9165868
My gott Pure ideology

>>9165817
>If instead he puts his money in the bank then the bank lends it out so that other people can use it to buy cars, homes, and so on.

And when he puts it in an offshore account to sit until he decides to fuck off to Thailand and evade his already minimal taxes, the only trickling down that's going to be happening is his load going down his 14-year-old dickgirl wife's thigh

Poured boiling water into a glass jug. Jug shattered and my dick(I was wearing just my underwear) got scalded. By reflex I jumped but landed on hot water on the kitchen floor which made me slip and hit my head on the floor.

Disoriented and in pain I walked to the shower and let the cold water run. When I removed my underwear the skin of my dick just peeled off.

>>9165967
Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!

>>9151903

I want to grow lemon-heads on my hands. Teach me your magic, OP.

>>9151903
sliced my finger open between a metal pan and the walkin door
Boss wouldnt take me to the hospital that was next door and called my dad to take a 15 minute drive to pick me up and take me next door

>>9165966

>we need to make rich people pay more taxes
>rich people are literally amazing at evading taxes

Guess you'll never get your way then.

>>9165967
All I can reply to that is ouch

I once spilled boiling water and it went all over my belly, it didn't scar thankfully.

>>9159755
He obviously never tried to shower with a grill

>>9162645
I cried laughing

>>9152694
Did you still get laid?

Used to work in the kitchen of a chain seafood place. We had commercial steamers to cook shellfish in, basically a metal box with jets inside that would shoot steam out when the door was shut. Once i opened the door to get out some crab and when i reached in the jet malfunctioned and blasted my forearm. The skin bubbled up and peeled off like plastic from a shrinkwrapped box. Ive been burned by oil, convection ovens, water, flame - nothing is as painful as a steam burn.

>>9157861
>ooga booga! me man! me cause permanent damage to hand because me manly!

why does /r9k/ have such retarded ideas about what masculinity entails?

>>9167294

Did you forget you're on /ck/, not /r9k/?

>I hate the traditional concept of a man because I'm just so, so far from it

>>9165868
rich people became rich by nickle and diming everyone between them and the consumer as hard as possible so they could afford a second helicopter

>>9167405

Mom and boy at museum
boy looks at Picasso painting
boy tells mom "I could have made that"
mom says "yeah, but you didn't"
boy cries like the child he is and joins antifa

>>9167376
You non-ironically think that it's a good idea to avoid medical attention for a serious injury because you think that it's the manly thing to do or whatever. I'd tell you to kill yourself, but it's not a big deal if you don't because you're never going to find a woman who'd have your children anyway.

>>9167440

There is nothing in your life you're so passionate about that you'd live and die by it, and because I do, it bothers you so much.

I don't want you to kill yourself, because your outlook on life doesn't make me half as mad as my outlook makes you. Pathetic.

>>9157861
>tfw had a huge shard of glass stab into my foot in highschool
>tfw did pretty much what you said except it fell out as i instinctively bolted 50 feet from where i hurt myself

It caused nerve damage that i can still feel today, but it's not in a necessary spot of my foot. You're an idiot if you do this, the only reason i did was because it didn't seem that deep initially and i couldn't get anywhere with a fucked foot. Most painful experience of my life.

Never had any accidents in my home kitchen, but I once watched my older brother lift a pan filled with hot grease and it went all down his arms and gave him 2nd and 3rd degree burns. It was pretty brutal and he had to wear gauze on his arms for a couple weeks.

At the kitchen I work at I have:
- Frequently splashed small amounts of hot oil on myself on accident
- Picked up several hot pans on accident
- Got blisters from washing dishes for 8-9 hours a shift over a week or so
- Stabbed my hand on knife someone dropped in the sink
- Stabbed my hand on broken glass in the sink
- Cut a finger drying a knife
- Several small cuts while prepping veggies
- Cut a finger on the in-seam of a metal bowl
- Got hot oil in my eye
- Burned my fingers accidentally on the flat-top several times

But most of those injuries are super minor and I just slap a bandaid and glove on and get back to work.

Worst accident I ever saw was a coworker accidentally shoving his hand full tilt into the cheese slicer because his dumbass took the guard off and he got distracted talking to some FOH hoe.

Apparently, before my time, some other guy got his hand caught in the dicer and it chewed most of it off before they cut the power. Now only the boss himself is allowed to run the dicer because the guy tried (unsuccessfully) to sue.

>>9155173
i bet your foot tasted delicious (no homo)

>>9167463
>There is nothing in your life you're so passionate about that you'd live and die by it

You're passionate about caveman-like displays of machismo that make you look like a tard to normal people? Jesus Christ what a faggot

>>9165460
Jesus christ. What happened? Oil?

>>9167585

Live on your knees or die on your feet anon. Something you'll never know about. Stay mad, weakling.

A whipped cream can fell nozzle-first onto my little toe, smashing the nail and spraining the bone.

>>9151903
When i was younger my mom stabbed me in the shoulder with a knife. She was cutting vegetables from our garden in the kitchen. There was a bug so she got scared and swung the knife straight into my shoulder. Had to get 9 stitches.

>>9167672
i would have sued

>>9151903
Was a dish and reached into a sink that someone threw a knife into I wasn't aware of.

>>9165967
did you keep it?

>>9165967
Gotta peel the banana to eat it haha

also hi Jet!

>>9168086
Hi!

Splashed hot fat in my face turning steak because I'm retarded and burned through my cornea

>>9167600
>ooga booga!

Shit, I burnt my leg..

>>9152276

>>9170688

You said that already...looks like you're all out of retorts.

>>9157861

>>9165967
Nonononononononononononono

burned myself on the side of a grill while cooking some salmon when I worked at the cafeteria in uni. left a wing shaped scar for a year or two but disappeared eventually.

Also nearly sliced off the end of my thumb when slicing bread on thanksgiving a couple years ago. had a few bloody marys on an empty stomach and was handling a really fucking nice bread knife that my dad has.

>>9157861
You're retarded

Don't breed

>>9159325
Pure /r9k/

>>9167501
You work at shit place with no guards on the dicer

>>9171861

I've never been to /r9k/, but you're obviously new to this board. The heart of /ck/ are the al/ck/ie pros who provide OC, knowledgeably answer questions, and drunkenly bitch about industry life.

>>9171883
Meant to quote
>>9161836
For the dumb nurse insecurities thing

/r9k/ wouldn't even have a job nor the friend to take them to ER

>>9171882

>no guards on the dicer

Different anon, but please post a picture of what you think the person you replied to meant by "dicer". Legitimately curious, because I'm not sure what he's talking about, aside from maybe the mandolin.

>>9171889
No idea either but all of these should have safety guards if they can chew up your whole hand and the only escape is another guy pulling the plug

>>9171891

Other than pic related, a chef's knife is the only dicer I've ever encountered, and neither of those have plugs.

Using a Mandolin on Carrots, Chef walks sez be careful, Next stroke, the finger blade goes under my finger nail

I have been cooking for 2 years and this is the only damage I've ever sustained, other than teary eyes from chopping onions.

And it happened in my third attempt.
You guys are probably legally retarded or something.

Unloading freshly done dishwasher. Dropped fork on bottom. Go to grab it. Get a handful of redhot metal. I touched the metal ring. I even held on for a second because I thought it was the fork. Didn't hurt for about ten minutes and then severe pain that lasted 2-3 days. Worst pain of my 11 year old life. I probably fucked up by immediately putting ice on it. At least today I shrug off burns like a man.

>>9151903
I saw a nasty one, Guy aka: ASSHOLE must have thrown a chef knife into a sudsy dishwasher sink

Super busy kitchen in full swing, Dish washer jams both arms into soapy water sink and pulls one arm out covered in blood!
The whole kitchen was looking to kill the dude who did it!

>>9171900
>Mandolin
Retard.

Big smelly meth addict working the line
Suddenly crashes to the ground like a sack of potatoes, passed out! Ambulance takes unconscious tweeker to hospital where he dies from brain anurism

>>9172045
many such cases

>>9153293
Join the club. Hurt like a bitch.

>>9171901
Cooking for a job or cooking at home for two years though

>>9171948
Fugg. Yeah. Ice is the worst for burns, just tap cold water is the best apparently, there was a discussion earlier in the thread

>boil kettle
>pour it all over my hand becuase I'm fucking dozey
>spend the night in agony trying to get to sleep
>go to the shop and give money with my injured hand
>they look at it like 'wtf?'

>>9164580
not bad

>>9151903
Charcoal related 1 week old burn. Couldn't help but remove the blister. Pain was manageable, but still can't completely make a fist.

>>9164914
>their fair share
Nice vague, undefined term that can mean literally anything

>>9157861
>I am a manly man XD

Enjoy your loss of function and necrotic infection you fucking moron.

You stab yourself straight through the hand, you go the ER.

>>9171363

>The Lorax

>>9172907
>>9171884
>>9171851

Oh look, an entire generation of pussies that browse anime sites. Just curious, how many of you have jobs that directly involve intensive labor? FYI being a line cook is not a labor intensive job.

http://www.dailywire.com/news/16850/study-weak-men-more-likely-be-socialists-amanda-prestigiacomo

>>9172943
>goes into thread about kitchen injuries.
>shits on chefs and cooks in the thread.

Gee why would someone who prepares food for a living want to see professional help for an injury that could impair the function of their hands?

>>9173033

Aww, is that boo-boo? Here's let's get Dr. Rosenburg to kiss it for you! Don't want those silky soft hands that have never seen a day of real work have any nasty scar tissue! Oh, and that will be $10,000 please.

>>9172907
>pioneers and settlers always ran crying to the nearest medico-pirate everytime they scratched or bruised themselves.

Oh, what would we do without our medico-pirate gods? We'd surely die without their omniscient treatment that only their secret society founded on latin incantations has at their disposal. I guess their munificence justifies them taking my life savings. Fuck off pirate!

>>9173088
Man who's worked manual labor and fucked up my hands countless times here.

If I stuck a knife through my hand, I would go to the hospital. Your hand is more than just a few bones with skin stretched over them, and if you damaged any tendons or muscles, you'd want to see a doctor, lest you begin to lose function of your hands. It's not the scars or any cuts you should worry about, it's what's inside of your hand.

tldr you're a retard enjoy your lack of fine hand control.

>>9173103
The pioneers and settlers were Europeans.
They were tougher than what Americans have become today.

>>9172943
sorry if you came here for epic cooking screenshots to post on dankmemes or whatever
but you don't belong here

>>9171962
this shit is infuriating lol
like i could forgive it if you were lazy and just left the knife on the dirty rack, but you have to be a downright moron to casually toss a knife into dark and occasionally turbulent water
the best of course would be to just Wash and Rerack your Goddamn Knives, it is super easy and takes like two seconds

>>9173112
Oh boy, I just realized I know somebody this happened to. He dropped a knife through the back of his hand, and now he can't control his pinky or the finger next to it.

>>9157861
Pic VERY related, you should try what he did some time.

>>9166806
>Grilling in the shower
That's what I call dedication.

Yea just pull it out bruh don't be a faget

>>9173088
>Don't want those silky soft hands that have never seen a day of real work
>Silky soft hands
>work in a kitchen

Im holding back on the hard work thing because there are definitely much harder jobs (not that my job is particularly easy; 12+ hour shifts standing up with no break in 30°+ kitchen isn't something to scoff at).

But doing the soft hands meme for people who work in kitchens is either ignorance or bait; everyone who's done it knows that it gives you sailor hands.

I went to take out a lemon pie my mother baked when I was 7~ years old. While taking it out the door closed and clamped my hands in. My usually loving mother started screaming and scolding me.

Chopped off my erect penis with a meat cleaver.

>>9164540
When people say "free" healthcare, they mean "free at the point of use" I.e. nobody will demand to see insurance or a credit card first, and your treatment is not dependent on how much you have paid.

Literally nobody thinks that it is "free" in the sense that nobody pays for it. We are all acutely aware of how much it costs; in most countries your healthcare taxes are taken from your paycheque as a seperate line item, distinct from any income tax that you pay. It's no different than anybody who is part of a group insurance scheme offered by their employer; your paycheck will list your premiums each month.

>>9173540
nothing of value was lost

>>9151903
Sliced tip of my finger when i chopping some onions, it's just a small cut though.
I usually very careful doing stuff on kitchen because i once saw an old man accidentally chopped his own finger on chinese resto when i was a kid.

>>9157861
>real man like me do stupid shit to look tougher even if it means losing a hand
don't breed you walking embarrasment

>>9173540
Make dick gumbo with it.

>>9174662