/ck/ - Food & Cooking

When white women hit age 65, they lose the ability to eat in restaurants without complaining and scamming for discounts.

>Eating in a nicer steakhouse with my mom (not high-end, but nicer than Longhorn or Outback)
>Have an appetizer of deviled eggs garnished with candied bacon
>Have a bourbon and coke, mom has a Tom Collins
>All is going well
>Main courses come, I have the porterhouse, mom has a steak salad with bleu cheese dressing
>Complaints begin
>"There's a draft in here!"
>(It's the middle of June, there isn't a vent, nor so much as an ceiling fan within sight)
>Server comes to check on us
>"My salad has too much bleu cheese!"
>"Would you like us to make you a fresh one with light dressing?"
>"No, I'll finish this one."
>Bill comes. Server apologizes.
>"How about half off the salad?"
>MFW she wasn't even paying for the dinner

>mom is drunk at local famous bbq place
>orders baby back ribs
>when order comes she is convinced she has been served short ribs
>loudly condescending to waitress
>head chef comes out and politely explains to her they are the baby back ribs and she should try them and if she has further complaints he'd be happy to fix it
>she scoffs at this and continues to yell about how they are ripping people off
>waitress gives me pitiful, sympathetic looks because I am obviously the hostage of a drunk lunatic
>mom storms out
>we're all hungry and can never return to our favorite bbq place

Holy shit mom just eat the ribs

More drunk relative stories pls

>go to eat the food
>some roadside diner
>dad drinks
>"ANYONE WANTS SOME DRY TOAST"
>whole restaurant hears
>mfw
>mom is laughing her ass off
>embarass coz im a teenage fgt
>finally realize years later it was funny

>>9156080
Sounds fun actually. Just need better food than fucking bagged chips.

>>9156080
that restaurant sounds like the owner got all his ideas from /ck/

Does anybody have that screencap of the guy ho watches people at the Golden Corral?

>out to dinner at incredibly fancy country japanese place with my dad, his girlfriend, and her blasian son (yes my dad is a literal cuck, not quite the point of this particular story)
>half of it is a restaurant, the other half is a garden/aikido dojo/museum/hostel for cultural exchange students
>place is naturally under 24/7 surveillance
>blasian boy just turned 10 and is hype for this food
>except he's the most ADHD kid on the planet, and somehow he inherited the worst traits of niggers and gooks (somehow autistic like an asian and has 0 regard for regular social norms or courtesy for others like a nig)
>and he's obese
>and he insisted on wearing this fucking thing (pic related)
>and he kept muttering "baka" under his breath whenever his mom told him to stop nigging around
>would not stop fucking around and moving all the ancient japanese shit lying around the museum
>stealing pennies people placed on the buddhist shrines around the garden
>the ENTIRE time we were waiting for tables and waiting for our food he was shaking and muttering shit NONSTOP under his breath, stretching himself out over the table, etc
>ordered the biggest richest portion of katsudon ive ever seen, ate until he was sick, wouldnt stop bitching about being sick from eating but also wouldnt walk around to help digest his fucking feast like his mom suggested
>entire japanese waitstaff glaring at our table

The only emotion stronger than my anger was my shame

>>9156049
I don't get it

>>9156113
Nah. Then they would have served McChickens.

>>9156263
I feel really sorry for you

>>9156229
http://www.ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/golden-corral.txt

I guess I have a mom complaints as well.
Every time I take her to a new restaurant she always has some sort of complaint and has to be verbal about it, even though she is not looking for meal comp or anything like that. Usually I try to take your two nicer better places because I know her picky attitude but it never works.

She always ends up going to the same few restaurants getting the same couple meals.

"The waitress wasn't very good"
>Proceed to tip over 20%

And just a personal pet peeve of mine a lot of times when we go to one of these new restaurants she ends up ordering a salad. It really irritates me whenever anyone does that regardless because you really can't get a feel for through restaurant by just getting a bowl of lettuce.

>>9156547
This shit is amazing every single time I read it.

>>9155650
>go to a small Chinese restaurant with three friends
>only six other people in the restaurant waiting for food
>takes waitress 10 minutes to serve drinks and take our order
>30 minutes later and we think "where is our food?"
>another 30 minutes later one dish is brought to our table, two are still being prepared
>another 30 minutes later people at other tables leave without eating and paying
>another 40 minutes later, only my friend has his plate and it is now cold. WTF.
>another 5 minutes later we get up and leave the restaurant
>as we were leaving I saw inside the kitchen and the cooks were on their phone just standing there. The stove was turned off and nothing was being cooked.
>friends and I decided to go to a bar instead to drink beer and eat appetizers.

>>9156902
Sounds like a Yakuza money laundering business

The first time I went to Europe with the bf, we sat a long time before learning they won't bring the bill until asked.

>>9157013
More like Triad, but shame thing

>>9155650
>we tip with a rip

>>9157077
>we tape with a rape

>>9156263
More blasian stories, pls.

>>9156263
> The only emotion stronger than my anger was my shame

that line is perfect

>>9155720
yo but did you smash though

>>9155650
Lemme spice your thread up

>At asian buffet place with family and grand parents
>grandpa is vietnam vet green beret
>we eat have a good time
>suddenly starts drinking
>ohfuckherewego.gif
>has only 5 shitty hinekins
>starts to demand for more alcohol
>whole resturant is 20 min from closing
>all the staff are visibly eager to end shift
>grandpa starts banging his hand on the table
"I want more beer damnit!"
>tell grandpa to relax and that were leaving soon and theres beer at home
"I want more beer now how do you say more beer in these peoples language?
Ne how moi pang yang foy nayng yang ching ching ahahajahaha"
>staff glaring at all of us
"This place is probably made of bamboo i can burn this shit to the ground real quick ive fought these people before its no big deal!"
>starts getting louder and we pay the bill and quickly leave
>thank the wait staff and apologize they are still pissed
>went back a year later and everythings good now

>Go to IHOPs before a party with my family and a bunch of family friends
>We're a big, loud Indian group
>Kinda hard to miss us
>We're seated out back, but it's still at the largest table
>Literally wait an hour
>No one takes our order
>Dad sends me to get the waiters
>Little kid me finds a pair of waitresses
>They're literally waiting around out back, not doing anything except talking in full view of everyone
>"Hey, we've been waiting for an hour"
>Literally, "Oh no, that...that shouldn't happen..."
>Immediately turn away from me and go back to blabbing
>Wait 30 more minutes
>Finally a waiter comes
>Order
>Takes another hour for everyone's fucking food to be done
>Even though it's shitty fucking breakfast food what the fuck
>We waited 3 hours to get breakfast at IHOP

>>9157289
They were probably hoping you cowfuckers would go away if they just ignored you long enough.

>>9156263
tell us more about blasian pls

>>9157289
To be fair I wouldn't serve an Indian either

POO

>parents are vegan
>always try to change menu items like the special pizza without the cheese or toppings with added shit
>get pissed as fuck when they invariably have a shitty stripped down meal or the chef refuses to make some weird concoction
>would rather complain in a regular restaurant to fuel their victim complex than eat at a vegan restaurant, time and time again

>one vegan place that my parents do eat at they pretend like they own the place
>they memorize everyone's name and nose in on their private lives
>"Where's X waitress today? Did her boyfriend propose to her yet? Is she pregnant?" ect.
>Dad makes up dumb names for his altered menu items
>orders a "cosmic monkey", expecting it to catch on
>gets passive-aggressive when he confuses the cashier and they give him a regular item
>tries to help out the business by suggesting products
>"You guys should really try "x" hot sauce, I know the guy there and could set up a meeting"
>they always make the same fucking deprecating jokes
>"Oh we hated the meal; such small portions!"
>Mother always says "pig out!" before we eat like we're fat or something
>mfw all of this

>>9157493
zero chance any of this is real.

>>9157573
vegans literally let their kids shit on the floor of their restaurants so i wouldn't put it past them

>>9157573
I wish it wasn't
>Prior knowledge: my dad likes to think of himself as a food critic because he watched Iron Chef once with my sister
>Try another vegan place a little ways away
>Pretty nice place, but has that hipster vibe all vegan places have
>waiter makes some small talk while we order drinks
>as soon as he's gone my dad says "That guy adds to the counter-culture atmosphere, he's like hip hop"
>ask him what that means
>"You know, he's got an urban flair"
>call him out on it because we got a black waiter
>"No, it's not that. He's hip! Don't assume everything is a race thing!"
>Drop it and just thankful that he didn't tell that to the guy
>As we're ordering Mom says "We're gonna gorge ourselves tonight!"
>We all ordered a single dish each, not even appetizers
>Food comes in a bit later
>I ordered a hot pot type dish, and it came with a small piece of card to rest the spoon on
>Dad eyes it immediately
>"Nice presentation on your dish, anon. Nice use of the newspaper"
>ask him what that means
>"It makes the presentation street food"
>Ignore him
>When we finish our meal, Mom stops the waiter as he's picking up the dishes
>"Wait, let us lick the plates!"
>Dad keeps talking about the "deconstructed urban atmosphere" on the way back to the car
There's one more annoying thing my dad does, but it is hard to put into words. He likes to play up the fact that he has a "chocolate addiction". He buys some chocolate covered peanuts every weekend at the store, eats them all in the course of two days, then complains the rest of the week that he needs his "fix". It's not fucking funny, but he always comes out of his office yelling "I need chocolate" in a high-pitched lunatic voice like it's the most hilarious thing ever. When he orders a chocolate dessert at a restaurant he makes dumb growling noises whenever my mom says she wants to try some. I am so glad I am back at uni now.

>>9157663
Are you sure you're not making it all up? If not, then more stories pls. It sounds really nutty.

>>9157663
>Dad keeps talking about the "deconstructed urban atmosphere" on the way back to the car

What, like Guernica or Dresden? Don't think I'd enjoy that kind of atmosphere.

>>9157493
>>9157663
I would not survive. God save your soul.

>>9157663
Teach your dad how to make nicecream every day with frozen bananas and cocoa powder (and vanilla and flax and other stuff if you want). I'm assuming they already have an 1800 watt blender since they're vegan? If yes, get them some earmuffs for it so they won't be louder and more embarrassing in the future.

>>9157683
It's not as bad as it sounds, but it can be annoying. My dad is the more neurotic of the two, but my mom is probably the most egregious offender of courtesy
>Mom and dad like "people-watching", but my mom likes it far more
>Creates severely negative backstories for people she sees walking on the street
>the 2016 election changed her for the worse because she became more vocal about her negative judgement of people
>to the point where she will won't even wait until they're out of ear-shot to say it
>At a small Indian restaurant
>Someone is setting up a live show when we walk in
>Guy starts playing as soon as we get our food
>He isn't bad, but out of place for the venue; playing solo blues for a bunch of indian people, a chinese couple, and us
>Mom fucking hates it
>Makes a show of plugging her ears and sticking her tongue out whenever the guy looks away
>like a fucking child
>Dad used to play guitar so he gets embarrassed and tells my mom to settle down
>She says if he can play it's her right to protest if she wants
>Keeps mouthing "You suck" in between eating her meal
>I am pretty sure the guy next to us was a friend of the guitarist because he kept giving us really sad looks
>Dad asks my mom one more time to cut it out
>"Why should I cut it out when this guy fucking sucks?"
>Get another depressed look from the guy next to us
>Dad and I finish as quickly as possible and get mom's food wrapped up
>Dad makes an effort to thank the guitarist for playing
>Mom is still adamant she was in the right to this day

>>9157793
How old are your parents

>>9157792
>I'm assuming they already have an 1800 watt blender since they're vegan
Yes. They have a vitamix and drink a chocolate banana smoothies everyday for breakfast. It's pretty tasty but I wish they did more with it besides smoothies and vegan cheese.
>>9157817
My Dad is 50 and my mom is nearly 60.

>poorfag
>wait tables
>only time I eat is when I bring back half full plates to the dishwashers
>old lady walks in
>asks me what I recommend
>tell her to get the biggest steak we have, knowing full well she'll never finish it
>eats only a fourth of it
>take the plate back and scarf it down before the sous chef sees
>old lady asks me Goethe leftovers
>ohshit.jpeg
>tell her that we unfortunately threw it out
>old lady says it's okay
>it's for her dog
>doubleohshit.webm
>ask a cook who owes me a favor to grill one up as soon as possible, no questions asked
>tell her to just wait a bit while I go through the trash to find it
>rush the cook before the sous chef sees
>taking too long
>go back to the old lady and say that I'm having trouble finding it
>old lady says to forget it
>tips me $50 for going through the trash
>steak is ready
>scarf that one down as well

Two steaks and $50. Not a bad night.

>>9157793

https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/

>>9157839
She knew what was up and was calling you her dog.

>>9157856
I'm so desperate for money; she could have put a leash on me and whipped me if she kept feeding me and tipping me like that.

>>9157870
Hot

>>9157840
>https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/
I just looked at the rules and holy fuck that is cancer. Never link to reddit again.

>>9157896
Mods are always power tripping. That's why we don't have any on 4ch...

>>9157896
Looks to be some kind of safe space for shitters with a victim complex? Everyone who chooses to reproduce in a developed country is a narcissist, believing their cookie cutter genes to matter much more than starving people who are already here.

>>9157909
Antinatalism is retarded. What if you want to pass on your genes so the world isn't engulfed by a tide of low iq retards?

>>9157923
You're not smart. Smart people aren't on 4chan.

>>9157937
Alber Einstein posted on 4chan.

>>9157856
Damn...

>>9157839
This can't be legal, and you can't have this little dignity.

>>9157966
What's illegal about it? I guess you've never been poor.

>>9157981
Biohazard risk, contamination risk, health and safety risk, etc
Also, no I haven't.

> be me
>Live in 5brm house alone with girlfriend
> Raining sex
>gf had this friend from work named Nikki who was trailer park tier
> Apparently just escaped abusive relationship
>gf begs me to let Nikki stay over, have more than enough space can't really say no
> Nobody tells me until after she moves in that she had a four year old boy
> Constantly dumps kid on us to go to work
> Says she works at 7 eleven bit have never seen her uniform
> When asked which store she says several locations
> Kid is not even potty trained yet and pisses and shits everywhere
> Thinks Santa Claus is his dad
> we have ton of food but she insists on feeding him only Cheerios
> From a bowl on the floor
> Because she says he won't sit at table
> Finds out she had two kids before
> One was taken by child protective services
>she traded other for a truck
> Take kid to McDonald's
> Feed him nuggies
> He throws up bright green
> Says mommy put spicy water in his Gatorade again
> Find out that means bleach
> Almost get arrested at fucking McDonald's because people think I did it

>>9157942
Albert's retarded cousin? Yes he did.

>>9157991
Did you report that shit? Bleaching kids is not okay.

>>9157989
I guess that's another good reason not toilet the chef or sous chef see me.

Being hungry and poor makes you do things.... things you thought you would never do

>>9158005
It was years ago but yes

>>9157991
>> Finds out she had two kids before
>> One was taken by child protective services
>>she traded other for a truck
how much of a terrible human being do you have to be to trade your child for a truck? what the fuck?

>>9158051
so what happened?

>>9158064
Nothing really as far as I know she played the abused single mom card and then was allowed to run off the California with the kid.

>dad comes to town to visit
>we go out to eat
>it's a nice place that we usually go to when he comes to see me
>we have a few drinks and an enjoyable meal
>talk about his work, talk about my work
>have a pleasant time because we're normal people
what the fuck is wrong with y'all

>>9157991
What kind of truck?

I edit HTML to make fake screenshots for easy reddit points.

>>9157991
>> Says mommy put spicy water in his Gatorade again

Damn, bro this line really breaks my heart. I have 3 sons. One I have full time, and the two older boys live with their mom in another state. I wish every day I could see them and tell them how much I love them, and it really gets me that someone would try to do that to their own.

>>9155650
My mom likes Tex-Mex. I tried taking her out for something a little more traditional once

>anon, where's the sour cream?
>why is her accent so thick?
>eww, beef tongue. you're not eating that!
>the menu is so small. I want a chimichanga.
>there's no lettuce or tomato on my taco

>>9158155
1980 something 4 runner

>>9157991
Was your gf with you at that time as well? Whose side was she on?

>>9158130

>>9157230
>more ashamed of vietnam veteran grandpa than piece of shit asian buffet that wont serve a customer beer when they are still open

Fuck them, if it wasn't for people like him they'd be pounding rice paddies in a communist hellhole.

>>9157289
maybe someone from your family shit outside on the street?

>>9155720
Seems like Americans take out all their cruelty in customer service because there's this meme of the customer being right and everyone having to suck their dicks.

I like the French style desu, utter contempt for the customer, especially if (yank) tourist.

>>9158286
Americans abuse because they are abused by their employers. I haven't experienced much rudeness in France, but I'm from Minnesota, not a touchy-feely southerner.

>>9158308
It's not so much rudeness but a lack of ass kissing, which I really like. I get queasy when people are fake nice.

>>9157870
I'd let it happen for free

>>9158233
This was before pol redpilled me

>>9157839
>>old lady asks me Goethe leftovers
patrician as fuck

>>9156049
?

>>9157071
>http://www.ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/golden-corral.txt
where?

>>9157013
why not use that money to run real restaurants?

>>9156049
what does this even mean

>>9158233
You get the bullet

>>9158233
They would have given him more if he wasn't acting fucked up. I'm a bartender and if someone started being a ass I cut them off because I assume they have had to much to drink

>>9156049
lost hard

>>9158422
or the fact that its illegal

>>9157663
>It's not fucking funny, but he always comes out of his office yelling "I need chocolate" in a high-pitched lunatic voice like it's the most hilarious thing ever. When he orders a chocolate dessert at a restaurant he makes dumb growling noises whenever my mom says she wants to try some. I am so glad I am back at uni now.

>>9156547
i put this in a text-to-voice converter and it's incredible.

>>9155650
I went to some pretentious hipster restaurant recently
Half the menu was vegan/gluten free bullshit and the bathrooms were all "gender neutral" and just had signs that said "whatever" on them
I think the thing that truly triggered me was the fact that someone ordered a shepherds pie off the vegan menu
It just came out as a pile of potatoes and veggies and these fucks had the audacity to call it a shepherds pie

>>9157839
I believe this.

>>9157663
If you mess up a pancake and it tears, you just fold it up in an attractive way and call it "deconstructed." Your dad makes me feel like I'm in a meeting at work because it's the same variety of bullshit. I get paid $11/hour for tech support and shouldn't be in meetings, but I get dragged in anyway. There's free fruit and sometimes lunch at work. I'm only allowed to work 8 hours a day 3 days a week maximum.

>>9157663
CHOCOLATE!
CHOCOLATE!
CHOCOLATE!
AACK!

>>9158465
A vegan place here has single-occupancy restrooms so the signs show what's in them not who they're for. Going there for jazz with mom and bf this Thursday.

>>9155650
>at breakfast diner
>with two of my friends
>friend 1 well call him trent and friend 2 well call him sam
>sit down and ask for waters and sam the super autistic one is creeping on our waitress
>she leaves and we figure out what we want to eat
>sam is heavy set and long hair with scragily bead and blinks his eyes constantly like a tick
>while looking at the menus trent and i see sam shaking his leg which in return ahakes the table
>tell him to calm down and he does
>starts fucking with shit on the table like silverware and creamers
>tell him to stop and he does
>grabs the ketchup bottle and starts shaking it in a rocking motion side to side
>ask him why hes doing that when the food isnt even ordered yet
"I just want to i like shaking it
>ignore him and look at the menu
>i feel something wet him my hand
>i look over
>the FUCKING bottle poped open and went everywhere on the table, divider and the table next to us
>thank fuck no one was there
>i tell him he shouldve just put the damn bottle down
>trent and i start cleaning up the mess as sam sits there doing nothing
>waitress comes back and offers to clean up
>i say its okay that we made the mess and well clean it up
>there was an old guy giving us dirty looks probably guessing were just punks
>trent stares back at him expecting the guy to say something and the guy sees trent looking at him then looks away
>we finish our food quickly then leave
>i have so many sam stories

>>9158500
my bf, not mom's.

>>9158500
The worst part about it is both restrooms were clearly Male and female bathrooms at one point because one was plain and simple with like 0 design whatsoever and the other one was pink and flowery all over the fucking walls

>>9158518
You sound like an insufferable bossy cunt

>At breakfast/brunch joint call Famous Toastery
>Menu states eggs benedict comes with a side of toast
>Meal comes and I'm greeted to the sight of a single slice of toast, cut in half diagonally
>Mention to my server that they should change the menu, because it's misleading
>Instead a side of toast, it should say "a side of A toast"
>I also remarked that a place called Famous Toastery probably shouldn't be so stingy with the toast

>>9158586
>Go to a steakhouse with some friends (I don't usually, steaks not my thing)
>Order salmon filet with a side of some potato shit, I don't remember
>Meal is brought out
>Salmon filet is the size of a fucking credit card
>The fucking SIDE DISH potato shit is fucking bigger
>Ask them to kindly fuck off with this shit (in far nicer words) and I order a salad with grilled chicken
>It's fucking massive
>WTF
>Cheap bastards! It's just fucking Salmon, you assholes!

>>9158554
Are you autistic as fuck too? I have alot of friends who i dont talk to anymore because they act like complete manchildren i dont care if your on a spectrum if you an adult dont sperg out in public and contain yourself

Guise, I work for a shitty restaurant Theres this asshole that only works two days a week and complains all the time. He just took a two week vacation without telling me and without having anybody cover for him. And now hes back and still trying to take more days off without finding a replacement. What do? Fire him?

>>9158614
Yep, fire him, if he doesn't have a good reason for not showing up he should get fired

>>9158600
>Go to "gourmet southern cooking" restaurant in higher end of town
>Crack open the menu
>Everything that requires cheese uses only Havarti cheese
>WTF does the fucking tea have Havarti cheese in it, as well
>Notice most of the ingredients used in the dishes are just pricier and more exotic equivalents to mundane ingredients
>The food is still fucking nothing to write home about
>Pay my bill and tell the staff to stop putting fucking hipster ingredients in their fucking food

>>9158629
He wants to bartend with another coworker at that guys other job. I usually wouldnt care but this guy is the closer and has the 2nd most important job other than mine. And thats out of 3 positions.

>>9158654
Well if he wants to go do something else and is skipping work to do so fire his ass

>>9158333
Kekd and checked

>>9157289
>big Indian group
>hard to miss
Hard to miss the smell. Yea.

>>9157989
>dignity in poverty
the concept of one of those two things seems to escape you

>>9157663
Is your dad a closeted fag?

>>9155650
This story obliterated my sides when I first read it
Thread related:
>Work at a local Italian restaurant that also focuses on pizza
>Every once in awhile we'll get a pizza sent back that's considered "burned" despite them wanting it well done
>Literally everybody else working there agrees shit aint burnt
>Other times we have people ask for a fuckload of toppings and then complain when their shitty clusterfuck pizza is a sagging piece of shit
And then you have the people who don't consider their food to be hot enough unless it's a fucking boiling mess. But I guess that shit's just restaurant life. Could've been worse.

>>9157937
I actually think everyone on this site has higher than average IQ. It would explain all the mental illness, drug addictions, and suicide rates.

>>9158233
go to bed grandpa

>>9157663
Does your dad like Minecraft and My Little Pony, by any chance?
I think he might be autistic.

>>9157839

You're an impulsive piece of shit which is why you'll always be poor

>>9158742
Id rather have my shit boiling hot. I have this thing that if it doesnt burn me when I first try to eat it then I enjoy it less cause psychologically it isnt as "fresh" to me or something. Call me autistic, I guess.

>>9155720
Your mother is the reason people feel obligated to tip.
Slap her in the fucking face next time she does that.

>>9156080
Reminds me of a short-lived place that opened up a few years ago. Their entire marketing was based around "trailer trash comfort food" and they're advertise blatantly that they were making you blue-box mac and cheese, serving chef-boyardee in the fucking can it shipped in, etc etc
Ate there once with my dad because he INSISTED it was good. Worst tasting thing I've had in my entire life.

>>9157966
>you can't have this little dignity.
He's posting stories on the Rhodesian paramilitary short order cook bulletin board. What dignity is there left?

>>9157493
>>9157663
Your family sounds atrocious and I would make any excuse to avoid eating out with them.

>>9157230
>i can burn this shit to the ground real quick ive fought these people before its no big deal!"
holy shit what a great grandpa

>>9157493
Are you jewish or indian? this sounds super jewish

>>9155650
>Waffle House 3am
>Only kinda drunk
>shitty roommate is plastered
>keeps swear yelling, told to knock it off twice by the elderly waitress
>keeps going, acting more nig than usual
>gets yelled at by the probably just out of prison cook, said one more time and youre out
>I just want to eat my fucking patty melt

A month or two later I puked all over the table at a different waffle house, so you know, Im bad too

>>9158458
thank you so fucking much for this. I don't even care that I spat my food all over my computer and my neighbor is banging on the fucking wall.

>>9157966
I don't see anything wrong with eating leftover food from restaurants if you work there, there's no point wasting food like that if the food is salvageable

>go to new pub style restaurant on opening week
>busy as fuck
>wait for an hour to get a table
>waitress comes over and takes our drink orders
>half an hour passes with no drinks
>second waitress observes that we're sitting there drumming on the table and takes over for the first waitress who apparently bailed
>we finally get our drinks and place food orders
>wait like an hour
>waitress #2 seems to have disappeared as well
>flag down waitress #3 and tell her what is going on
>she rolls her eyes and says "I wouldn't doubt it" before walking off
>walk out without paying

>Canadian
>Used to go to buffalo with my mom and sister for shopping and such
>Walk into the glorious Applebees
>Never seen anything like this before
>Never seen so many white people in one place before
>Never seen so many fucking huge people before

>Waiter takes us to our booth
>First thing my mom does is talk about how the booths are too big and how we have to sit on the "very edge" to even reach the table

Now we're not poor but my mom spoiled me and my sister to a decent extent so my sister has this sort of cuntish high brown view of the world. Basically thinking Applebees is too cheap for us

>Open the menu
>Mom is having a hard time finding something thats not too unhealthy (this was around the time where she wanted to lose weight)
>I dont even have to open the menu, I just fucking order a quesadilla and im pleased as fuck
>Sister refuses to eat anything, says she'll get acne and "This food is for poor people"

>Mom tells her to lower her voice, people were already beginning to stare at us because of what we wore + thier stupid Louis Vuitton bags.
>See a regular family look over at us and have a somewhat disgusted look on their face
>Have to mouth the words "Im sorry" to them out of my own shame

>Food arrives, mom settles with some lightly dressed pasta, Im eating my quesadillas like a happy motherfucker
>Sister is just sighing deliberately for attention
>I tell her just to go on her phone or wait in the car
>Mom tries to please her by asking if she wanted some of her pasta
>Sister smacks the fork out of her hand and says how eating that will make you fat
>Some literal fat fuck hears us and beings to chime in

>"The fuck did you just say? You think you're better than us?"
>Mom instinctively yells back at the man "How dare you talk to my daughter with that language!"
>"Why dont you fuck off to some fancy restaurant then you cunt"

At this point people are looking at us and Im close to losing it

(1/2) pic unrelated

>>9158940
Wow I honestly didn't think someone else had this thought process. My fuckin nigga.

>>9159150
(2/2)

To describe the scene, my family and I are at one booth and this man is 2 rows down, and at the tables beside from the booth.

>At this time Im sure everyone in the restaurant is paying attention
>Waiters are doing fuck all
>As stated before this guy called my mom a cunt so get out of the booth and walk over to him
>I figured the guy was probably gonna swing if I tried to yell back so I calmly just asked him to apologize for what he said
>The guy sat back down and said he didnt mean for things to get that bad but that my sister shouldn't be saying those types of things in public
>Go back to my booth to see my mom on the verge of tears and my sister still on her fucking phone
>I ask for the bill even though my mom wasn't finished and we leave.

I have never wanted to hit my sister more than in that moment. She always thinks she's better than others because of money and I can see the toll it has on my mom.

I have an Olive Garden story similar to this but I end up with a fork in my arm

>friend decides to go vegan
>go to japanese restaurant
>literally orders a bowl of rice and free ginger
>gets pissy because his "food" sucks while we all get delicious grub

fucking vegans man

>>9159172
olive garden story too

>>9159172
wow anon your sister's a total child, your mom sounds sweet

>>9159172
Your sister sounds exactly like mine, except mine is about 80lb heavier than me and still pretends she's a fucking divine princess who can do no wrong.

>>9157823
look out for homeopathy later in life, tell them to keep exercising.
t. went through this expereince before

>>9159172
>but I end up with a fork in my arm
definitely tell that one

>>9159150
>>9159172
>>9159221
The sound like Grade A Hate fuck material.

>>9159245
oh no not more /ck/ incest breads...sigh

>go to japanese place
>person is clearly japanese, has a strong accent
>name is japanese
>speak japanese to them
>they just ignore me and walk off
well fuck you too buddy バカで外人でキモイ

>>9159245
You wouldn't say that if you saw her.
She has the skull of a man, the ears of an elephant, and the body of a hippo.

>>9155650
>spend night drinking and hanging out at friend's place
>oh shit we're all starving
>where should we go
>well we're all fucking plastered, so driving is out of the question
>it's also 2am
>only places nearby that are open are gas stations and pic related
>cheap milkshakes sound like a godsend at that moment
>get to the restaurant
>first friend makes his order
>second friend walks up to the counter
>opens his mouth to order
>immediately closes it
>looks back to me and first friend
>notice the desperate look in his eye
>oh shit he's about to blow
>run him to the bathroom
>15 minutes of the worst-smelling puke ever (fuck you kraken)
>finally make it back out
>have to put in his order because he can barely speak
>put in my order
>get it all to go and get the hell out

still haven't been back to that location since, too afraid that they'll remember me

>>9158286
>>9158308
It depends a lot on where in France you are. Parisians have a bad reputation even in the rest of France, but I've never not had very friendly service in the more rural areas. The only problem is that you have the chance of running into someone who barely speaks English, but if you're making an effort to speak French they'll love you for it. In Paris they speak English but just choose not to.

>years ago
>mother just got off work, I was done with High school for the week
>neither one of us really feels like cooking, so we go to a local burger-joint
>I order salmon burger, she orders chicken burger, both to take home
>arriving home, we open the packets and look at our burgers
>everything seems to be in order, except for one thing
>no meat

we just ended up eating it with some cold roast beef we had around in the fridge, was actually not that bad. Though, we never ordered from there again.

>>9159315
>>I order salmon burger, she orders chicken burger, both to take home
Neither of those things are burgers.

>>9159267
i think you meant to say ching chong wang a lang ding dang

>>9159324
hence why I said "local burger joint". everything they had was some kind of weird health-shit.
Closed down a few years ago, thank god.

>>9157839
I could swear I heard Chris Pratt tell this story on the Graham Norton show one night.

>>9159172
>I have an Olive Garden story similar to this but I end up with a fork in my arm

Should have probably started with that one.

>>9159060
I think some places have rules set by management where you can't eat customer leftovers, which is probably why he had to eat it without the chef noticing. I think the reasoning was either sanitation or monetary(i.e. conflict of interests).

>>9156547
Thanks for the read anon. Enjoyed it.

>>9157663
>vegan
>eat chocolate

He realizes there's milk powder in it?

>>9159457
>Implying being vegan is going to get in the way of his fix
That's like saying a hetero crackhead wouldn't suck dick for some crack.

>>9159272
Considering that probably happens nightly at any given Cook Out, I doubt they remember you.

>>9157663
Wow, both your parents sound eerily similar to my dad, except turned to 11

>>9158458
I have to do this when it's not 4:35 am

>>9157663
I hope your Dad isn't a Scatman or else the "chocolate addiction" might be worse than it already is.

>>9158372
Because it's a pain in the ass to get a legit restaurant up and running. And many don't succeed.

All they wanna do is launder the cash by pushing the dirty money through as sales. Once they are done or someone is catching on, they disappear in the middle of the night.

>>9158196
She was in mega denial about the whole situation for a long time but at the end she was forced to realize the truth

>>9157289
>big indian group
I would have asked you to leave. You are lucky you got served.

>>9158185
Why is your wife in a dif state

>>9158130
>mfw i will never have this

>>9159315
>didn't go back
>burgers were probably 5-7 bucks a pop
Shit I wish I could throw that kind of money away.

>>9155720
Did you guys fuck after or what!?

>>9159943
you wish
she would either complain your dick is too limp or it isn't as big as tyrone's

>>9155650
>Big menu for big people!
>We tip with a rip!
Holy fuck, I'm dying.

>visit dad
>we can't go out to eat because he shot himself in the face
>all his meals are through a feeding tube
>his wife is an alcoholic anyway and I don't really want to go out with her

>>9159982
>failing suicide so horribly

roflmfao friend

>>9157989
The owner of a restaurant I worked at regularly finished the meals of the guests. But to be fair: he's the fattest man I've ever seen in person.

>>9156049
>>dad drinks
>>"ANYONE WANTS SOME DRY TOAST"

I can't breathe

lemme get in on your next family dinner out for that top fucking bantz from your dad

>>9158377
>>9158337

his dad has a drink in his hand, so he goes "anyone wants some dry toast?" as in he'd make a toast with dry humour

>>9155650

not terrible, but fucking weird and an unpleasant mouth feel

>go to some upscale mall on Tokyo
>dining hall/food court has little restaurants with table service in lieu of take-out
>go to some "california burger" place, looks pretty good, pay when we order
>order comes out, looks delicious, bite into it eagerly
>patty is completely stone cold like it's been in the fridge or something
>it's cooked through, the cheese is even melted on it but it's COLD
>cant be fucked trying to complain in subpar jappo that our cooked burger wasn't cold as in it'd been sitting out and wasn't *hot* but was freezer-cold, drop em and leave

probs the only memorable bad dining story I have desu

>>9157289
>We're a big, loud Indian group

this is the only way you see you bupinders, in a group of 30 comprising every generation of the extended family

>>9157573

bruv a vegan joint recently had a social media meltdown over a bad review because they let a kid climb up on a table and show their asshole while a naked, shitty baby ran around as the owners/parents laughed, vegans are fucked

>>9157573

Found the vegan

>>9157991
>Apparently just escaped abusive relationship

THIS IS HOW YOU KNOW THEY CRAZY

>>9155720
>white women over 65
yeah sorry anon but your mom, specifically, is a bitch

>>9157663
kek'd at your dads chocolate addiction

>>9159457
Dark chocolate doesn't have milk in it

>>9160063
Id probably starve in Japan. Or id only eat ramen and store bought lunchboxes and snacks

>>9156547
that was quite the read

>>9158586
>>9158600
>>9158630

Are you a meme

>>9159297
Yeah, rural France is a different deal. I remember going to a little restaurant in a village where they just had one or two daily dishes and all the other people were pretty much locals.

Cosy as fuck.

>>9160107
Fuck off nigger

>>9159575
they have the means to. they think too small. get actual customer base then branch out into other locations. you can launder more and you get a card to become clean

>>9159762
no father? same, but i dont drink either. it saddens me to see my friends nearly dead when theyre drinking.

>>9160063
kore wa burger ga samui. or something like that perhaps

>>9160154
whys that? theres a lot of cheap places in japan that are still pretty decent.

>>9158061
What kind of person would accept a child as currency in exchange for their mode of transportation?

>>9157573
im not even playing "find the vegan" but here we are

>>9157493
>>9157663
>>9157793
amazing
moar?

>>9157909
basically yes
its reddit snowflakeism to an extreme with a healthy dose of teenaged angst
i have read some entertaining stories there once or twice but they are far and few between and over its not worth going there

>>9159297

This is a meme, they're pretentious assholes outside of Paris too

>>9155731
Just go without her. Simple.
If she bitches, who cares.

>>9159756
She's with her lover. And I know it's a stereotype but yes, he's black, and no, I'm not a cuck. Go back to /pol/

>>9160201
Presumably, someone who thinks that an indentured labourer is worth a vehicle.

In most of the world, a child is an asset.

>>9157230
Your grandpa sounds based and doesn't deserve a little shit spawn like you. Go lick yellow asshole somewhere else, faggot.

>>9157991
>Says she works at 7 eleven bit have never seen her uniform
> When asked which store she says several locations

Outside of several locations, by the sound of it.

>mother and both my sisters were servers
>never have to feel with this kind of shit because they know what it's like, but they do the opposite where try to "talk shop" with the staff and drop industry terms (weeded, four-top, etc.)

You can never escape the cringe.

>>9157937
>You're not smart. Smart people aren't on 4chan.
And yet, here you are.

>>9158233
This is the most retarded thing I have read all week

>>9157991
Holy fuck this pasta is so stale it's standing up in the corner on its own

>>9155720
i haven't seen a trend of women over 65 being like this. most of the older women i know are perfectly normal in restaurants, it's usually their alcoholic husbands who are insufferable in public.

>>9158744
keep telling yourself that

>>9158233
You do realise that the commies won that war, right?

Short one.

>GF makes me take her to Sonny's before she goes to work
>Fuck it, I'll get her drunk before work
>We sit at the bar, qt3.14 green-haired waitress. Nice but seems quite new to this profession.
>Sit there nursing my straight rye watching Trump colluding with Russia on the TV or something
>Notice a negress interacting with qt3.14 by the cash register, don't pay any mind.
>Negress leaves, GF 2 me: OMG did u c that?
>Negress chimped out on qt3.14 bartender because she was last in line, had to get her take-out fast and go to work
>Older White Gentleman (Vietnam era-ish) sitting close by says loudly to the qt3.14bartender: We were all thinking what you were thinking, sweetie.
>boomtish

Seriously, fuck niggers. Their negativity even has to pervade something that has to be as relaxing as eating out. By the time I heard the root of the commotion the rye was taking effect, and it seemed to me at the time that it would have been worth my while to put a drink in the negress's face. I didn't of course - she was gone - but I guess I'm glad I didn't have to get arrested for any such hate-terrorism crimes at that bbq joint that day.

>>9160406
>go to work
thats just an angry black woman, anon

>>9158518
Be nice to your friends anon

>>9160406
You write a huge faggot, no offense.

>>9160453
>You write a huge faggot

Translate that first and then maybe I'll be offended by it, pajeet.

>>9159172
She looks like a romulan

>>9157573
are you ok buddy?

>>9160268
>>9158233
>these retarded edgelords

>>9158061
it was probably a good truck

>>9160201
>it was probably a bad truck

>>9159756
We split up. I have kids with 2 different women.

>>9160406
The killer is that next thread on /pol/ you'll be saying "Racism is over, white people aren't like that! >:(".
Your writing is incoherent as fuck. You sound new, pls go.

>>9160562
You're really good at the internet, anon. This is for you.

>>9160562
good job getting rid of the reddit spacing but it's still obvious

>>9160520
kek

>>9157493
I want to shoot your parents both in the face with a small caliber pistol so they suffer before dying. My only dilemma is, which one do I shoot first because I feel like I hate both of them equally.

>>9157663
>he makes dumb growling noises whenever my mom says she wants to try some
My father does this except to all of his food. Any and all, be it a bag of chips or something on his plate. Instantly clutches it and growls like you are about to steal it.

>>9159475
This
I filled a plate and table with puke at a waffle house on st pats (it was grey cause 5 guniesses), but other than the embaressment at the time, id go back

>>9160446
They were all immature so i got new ones and reevaluated which ones were mature. You try having several annoying friends and have to deal with the second hand embarrassment

>>9160635
>tries to call others out on "r-r-reddit spacing!!"
>still can't figure out how to greentext properly
I bet you joined in 2016, fuck off.

>>9160798
>My father does this except to all of his food. Any and all, be it a bag of chips or something on his plate. Instantly clutches it and growls like you are about to steal it.

I'm guessing you're a millenial kid.

Son. One day, when you start to make your own money, and have to pay for your fucking brood of worthless parasites, you'll understand.

>>9158518
ANOTHER SAM STORY CUZ FUCK THAT GUY

>come over to sams house with trent
>wanna hangout with his half brother
>find out he went camping with his other friends for his 23rd birthday
>cool still got sam
>as were hanging out with sam he offers us cake
>cakes on the counter half eaten and looks as if its been sitting out since yesterday 2 up and the 3 has fallen into the frosting
>we both say no and we had breakfast
>its 10:30am
>trent points out something
>"hey sam why is there a huge piece of frosting missing from the cake"
> sam says he doesnt know and starts darting his eyes around
>says his foster mom did it
>trent says he doesnt think she would do that since it looks like theres a bite mark where a chunk of frosting used to be
>they go back and forth
>see its not going anywhere and we drop it
>go into sams room to play on the game cube
>see a piece of dried out cake on a plate with a fuck ton of frosting on it with a bottle of ketchup next to it
>ask sam about the slice of cake
>he says he likes his cake crunchy and he likes ketchup with his cake
>there is no way i can explain my disgust and confusion of this person

>>9160830
Oh please, impart to me the wisdom of reganomics, reverse mortgages and never retiring

>>9160898

No. Learn it yourself, lazy shit.

>>9160819
Where the fuck did this "reddit spacing" meme even come from? I've never heard of it until this year and I started being a newfag on 4chan in 2012.

>>9160916
You forgot to growl like a starving animal.

>>9160819
>implying im the guy who told that shitty story
kill yourself, redditard

>>9160916
>not educating yourself on forced memes
You REALLY need to lurk moar.

>>9160921
>wasn't me, I swear guys
Whatever you say

>>9156049
what the fuck does that mean

>>9160916
>faggots secretly started crossposting between 4chan and Reddit around 2014-2016
>decide that they've trained themselves in spotting a Redditor
>try to call out (fellow) Redditors on 4chan by pointing out some bullshit about how they space out their posts or whatever
Literally the only way to know what the fuck they're even talking about is by being a Redditor yourself. It's just another sign that this site is getting filled with undesirables, and hypocritical ones at that.

>>9157289
>We're a big, loud Indian group
lucky you guys even got to eat

>>9158130
>dad comes to town to visit
THEFEELSARETOOREAL.JPEG

>>9157289
HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO MISUSE LITERALLY

>have immigrant dad who moves here at 25 with no money
>marries fat trashy woman instantly because lonely
>ff 20 years
>my siblings are all fat, rude and retarded socially
>new money because dad worked his ass off so not only are they fat and rude as fuck but also have some fucked superiority complex because they have money
>dad is always at work so mom allows them to eat fast food every single meal
>dine out at decent restaurant
>whole family is acting like loud imbeciles
>i have to order and communicate with servers because they're autistic
>try recommending something they'd like, but they don't eat anything but chicken nuggers and burgers
>they all order burgers or chicken nuggers
>they all complain the food is boring
>mom's family is there and being loud trailer trash retards
>literally no restraint from what they will say
>aunt is talking about how she has to shit 5 minutes after eating
etc. every damn time

>>9160949
It wasn't him. It was me, faggot. Do something about it.

>>9158233
restaurants have a legal obligation to cut people off....

>>9161009
also
>dad gets really nervous around white people because he's scared he'll make an idiot out of himself
>always overcompensates by acting extra "casual" and chill
>at good restaurant
>dad can't read english very well and doesn't know what the menu shit means
>tell him what each thing is, knowing he likes the ingredients in it
>he keeps saying he doesn't like that stuff
>it's literally like "tomatos, chicken, rice....."
>he's so anxious he's like not even paying attention to what i'm saying
>he's just like not processing it
>just keeps saying "hamburger" and making some weird gesture with his hand that he normally doesn't do
>orders a hamburger
>they ask if he wants anything on it "do you want any ketchup, mustard or veggies on that?"
>i literally know for a fact he likes those things
>"uh no i do not like that stuff please"
>gets a plain burger
>"this restaurant uh is they are not that good it is boring food"

not really embarrassing but i feel bad for him

>>9161010
>when you fail at samefagging so you have to pretend to be yourself just popping back into the thread

>>9157991
Wait, why would you put bleach in your childs drinks other than to poison them?

>>9161032
Is your dad just defeated? Does he even try to enjoy life anymore? Why does he go to restaraunts in the first place?

Your family sounds infuriating.

>>9161032
Where is your dad from?

>>9158586
Is that place in New Hampshire?
I stopped at restaurant by the same name on a road trip and all the staffers have an attitude. I think it was supposed to be a gimmick or something.

>>9160406
You are trying way too hard to fit in. I suggest hanging yourself immediately.

>>9156263
>literal cuck

"my wife's son" is not literal cuckoldry. literal cuckoldry is when your wife fucks somebody else while with you.

i fucking hate 4chan

>>9157937
Prove it

>>9159172
>mom being cunt
>someone calls her a cunt
>try to get him to apologize even though you know she's being a cunt

???

>>9156263
>a spoiled retard kid bad behaviour should be blamed on his genes rather than his fucking parents for not teaching him basic manners
this is why nobody likes you and laughs at your retarded opinions behind your back

>>9157991
yeah ok anon

>>9158061
you're retarded

>>9161078
Basically he is defeated and doesn't try to enjoy life any more.
Essentially he just works 9 hours a day and goes home, nothing else in his life really.
It was fathers day so i wanted him to enjoy the food but he was like too nervous.

I kind of grew up differently from my siblings because my dad spent more time at home was very hard on me. My mom wasn't as lazy and was pretty good when I was young. My parents aren't bad but my siblings are actually fucked.
My mom's family is fucked as well.

>>9161081
Iraq

>>9158308
>be fench
>go enjoy dinner with my family
>guy eating in next table finishes dinner and blows himself up
>come home and change my facebook profile to a flag and tell everyone that the salad was the real crime
>nobody responds because they are either detained by the police or dead
>oh well

>>9159055
This is what scares me most.
You never want trouble with the cook, hes making food that you will eat.

>>9161219
>the salad was the real crime
hah

>>9161129
>has no spin to stick up for his family


Christ, even niggers love their mothers.

>>9161175
>Basically he is defeated and doesn't try to enjoy life any more.

You realize that probably says more about you and your family than it does him.

>>9160105

Without fail nigger, it always means "I fucked it up but don't want to take responsibility for being a batshit cunt
>Did he hit you
>"N-no he was emotionally abusive"

Everytime

>>9161175
>Iraq
Oh. Tell him to stop worrying so much. We aren't going to shoot him for not knowing English.

Coming from a family where my mom's family is basically all white trash I feel some of your pain.

>>9157937
My iq is 133. What's yours tardfag

>>9160916
>I started being a newfag on 4chan in 2012
You're not a newfag, newfags are from 2008 era.
Now stop posting.

>>9161279
the only person with such an IQ to be retarded enough to be here is Trump, and you're not him because he's a sworn redditor
fuck off

>>9161290
>You're not a newfag, newfags are from 2008 era.
Anyone who is here after Project Chanology is a fucking newfaggot, no exceptions. There's oldfaggots before then, and newfaggots after that. Any other x y or z faggots are some made up bullshit from the last few years.

>>9158554
once you get to a certain age you can't continue to behave that way. i commend >>9158518 for being a good enough friend to try to correct sams behavior. good on him. maybe sam (and you) will eventually learn to mimic adult behavior at some point.

>>9160992
What makes you think he's misusing it?
What if they did wait an hour? And what if the waiters really were waiting around out back, not doing anything? And what if the waiters really did say that?

>>9161137
why am I retarded anon

>>9160406
what the fuck are you talking about?

>>9160036
That's not even witty or dadjoke quality. That's just shitty and dumb.

>>9160307
Pasta??

>>9160200
>they can branch out and launder more

Yeah because a chain of restaurants that has shit reviews and almost no customers, yet turns a noticeable profit is not at all suspicious.

>>9159245
APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT YOU SAID

>>9157839
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=211&v=NTfF9cyzwR8

>>9157839
>>9159340
it is /watch?v=l8_yXLWzQ-Y

>>9161387
>>9161099

see>>9161041

>>9160955
His toast was dry

>>9157991
>she traded other for a truck
I remember reading this in another greentext story somewhere but the rest doesn't sound familiar.

>>9159172
>grew up in fucking mexico herding goats and eating cold, hard tortilla bean tacos for lunch while up in the mountains.
>dad brings us to america, basically works his ass off
>27 now and I own my own restuarant
>dad is making 6 figures
>mom and dad had 2 kids after we came to america
>both spoiled as shit
>my younger sister is so fucking spoiled that she cried about what "people would think of HER" at my fucking engagement party because I didnt have some fucking meme "candy bar table"

fuck that little cunt, she got pregnant at 15 and her shitty spawn ONLY wears high fashion bullshit.
this one time she came to my house to just show off the babies shoes, she got visably upset and called me a neanderthal because i didnt recognize the brand.

>paying 250 dollars for baby shoes

Ironically because shes retarded and thinks money grows on trees shes now the poorest one of us all with her loose spending

>>9158286
>Americans take out all their cruelty in customer service
Truer words were never written. In some countries there is a contempt for the customer and in other countries both parties treat each other well. I think America is the one of the few countries and probably the quintessential country in which it's okay (perhaps even de rigueur) to treat 'the help' or service like total shit.

>>9156263
reminded me of my little brother (13 years apart)
one time he was acting up and nobody was around, so i looked him dead in the eye and he was like 'what??' I clenched my fist and put it next to his head and told him to better behave or I will explode in a matter of seconds.

He doesn't act up anymore.

>>9160520
Top kek

>>9158104
Classic female where 'abuse' means 'someone told me i was being evil and i didnt like it so i put bleach in their drink' wtf

>>9156547
might hit up a golden corral soon after reading this
now i just gotta find a friend

>>9158614
Youre a little bitch if you dont consider no call no shows immediate termination

Run your fucking kitchen lmfao

>>9157793
I am absolutely disgusted, your mom acts just like my dads alcoholic girlfriend

>>9157663
wow, your parents sound like very familiar. like autists that grew old.

>>9158130
>dad
reeee

>>9161254
Why would I stick up for my family if they're in the wrong? That's retarded.

>decide to go to Buffalo Wild Wings
>order Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwhich
>simple change I want on the order, have the medium sauce changed to hot
>wait for food to come out while taking note of how dead it is, with only two other customers
>food finally comes
>looks right
>take bite
>"thats weird, maybe its just been awhile since I last had it"
>take another bite
>"nah somethings up"
>take sandwhich apart
>its a hamburger
>with medium sauce instead of hot
>flag waitress down
>explain that I ordered a chicken sandwhich, and not a hamburger
>point out that I was pointing at what I wanted on the menu, while telling her, while she looked at where my finger was
>"no, you ordered a burger"
>"why would I order a burger when I wanted chicken?"
>"thats your problem, not mine"
>waitress walks away
>take work sharpie out of bag
>write down what I orgered and what I got
>also write down the waitress' name and how she straight up tried to lie to me
>get up and head towards door
>other waitress runs after me demanding I pay
>"I didnt get what I ordered, and what I asked for what I ordered, I was called a lier, I ain't paying for shit and im never coming back."

Fuck that chain, never going back, they fucked up my order ever single time ive gone in there, I have NEVER gotten what I ordered, not even close. I order hamburger, I get a bean burger, I order chicken, I get a hamburger, I order mozzarella sticks, I get nachos. Fuck them.

>moved to a desert-suburb like area of southern california
>absolutely strange to me
>forever 21s and AMCs and other nice-seeming chains all around
>yet everyone looks like new vegas ghouls
>beaners who seem to move slower than normal because of time is relative or some shit i dont know
>white people who look haggard and caricaturish
>absolutely none of my kind around, the yellow kind
>try shopping at target thinking ill find nicer looking people
>nope
>made mistake of walking into a walmart for cleaning supplies
>lose faith in humanity
>get called a chink pulling out of the parking lot
>think my family is gonna have a bad time here
>come sunday
>dad wants to try a local breakfast place and make it our tradition now
>kountry kitchen
>shit i can already see how white itll be
>dont want them to be called a chink
>dread it
>waiters were nice
>food came out on time, very nice
>got a Kountry fried steak and it was super nice
>everything went better than expected
>other white patrons cheerily smalltalked my dad
>better than expected
>still applying for firearm safety cert + conceal and carry
>aint no fucking easy come up

>>9161069
There was some retarded rumor poor people used to spread around about using small amounts of bleach to kill germs inside you when you are sick.

Two short stories for ya
>go to diner with dad
>he orders a coke
>waitress fills a glass with ice, pours about half a can into it, and then starts drinking what's left
>also food took forever and was cold/undercooked

>go to diner with friend
>the food is good enough and we're having a nice time
>while we're waiting for the check, we see a waitress pour several half drunk glasses of oj back into the serving jug
>pay and never go back

>>9161972
Please tell me your parents aren't soft enough that they bail her out whenever she has money issues.

>>9162159
>tfw your finger is so fat it points at multiple items on the menu simultaneously

>>9158233
>t. grandpa

This isn't so bad, just kind of embarassing and thought I'd share
>out of town for work with some other folks
>get back to hotel room, kill a bottle of jager
>other alcohol enthusiast on the crew suggests we hit up a local bar
>arrive, order an appetizer because fuck it, play pool for a while
>appetizer comes out, I order a long island iced tea because I chug dicks
>finish appetizer, drinks are not mixing well
>sudden urge to vomit, can't make it outside or to the bathroom
>grab empty appetizer plate and throw up perfectly on it
>none of it got on the bar
>order a few more drinks before leaving

>>9162298
Impressive, anon.

>>9158518

Ticks blink a lot? What?

>>9161296
the whole concept of newfags is retarded. yeah there was a terrible wave in 2013 and 2017 but almost everyone here is a newfag now.

>>9161563
never said it was shit. thats why you hire actual chefs

>>9162406
He meant an involuntary tick. People with tourettes sometimes have ticks like blinking really hard or snapping their fingers, stuff like that.

How do I accurately salt things? I feel that I always use too little or too much in anything I cook. Is there a sure fire way to estimate that I'm missing?

>>9162420

kek I should have been able to figure that out. That would be "tic" though and not "tick." Still I feel retarded.

>>9162423

Add less than you think you need and then taste it periodically. Also wrong thread dummy

>>9162428
Meant to create a thread I'm a little retarded most the time.

>go to a deli for breakfast after getting shit at Ikea with my mom
>we sit down
>takes us 10 minutes to get out fucking menus
>after we order eldery couple comes in after us
>They wait same time and they get their menus and orders
>wait about 30 mins and still no food
>another 15 and the elderly people get their food before us
>ask waitress who is cleary pissed off what is going on
>I didnt put your order in yet, you still have to wait
>say thats bullshit, even elderly people agree
>says "Thats your damn problem now stop bothering me"
>get up and leave that place and she says out the door "Have a nice day assholes"

Swear to god fuck that cunt, hope she dies in a fire. Also fuck that day too cause i got fired later on

>>9162423
Pour it into your hand first. That way you can determine from there how much goes on your food instead of letting your salt shaker decide to give your food qualities normally reserved for the dead sea.

>>9162428
Makes sense

>>9162235
Lmao

>>9161972
Some people will only learn the hard way. She'll get what she has coming

>Be Me
>Be 14
>Be sister's Birthday
>She's bitching about bullshit at school
>A friend jokingly made bants and she took it seriously
>Parents bring her to a really expensive dinner, she's still bitching
>Parents order ribs, me and my sister order steaks
>She cuts open her steak
>Near medium, closer to Medium Rare
>Sis begins autistic screeching
>"THE STEAKS FUCKING RAW OH MY GOT"
> "No it's not."
>I begin eating my steak
>Sis looks shocked
>"A-ARE YOU EATING IT?"
>Parents go out to smoke, actually don't come back until dinner's done.
>SIS BEGINS YELLING FOR WAITER
>"Sis don't-"
>"YOU SERVED US THIS SHIT"
>Waiter takes a look at the meat
>"Looks fine to me"
>"IT'S PINK!"
>Waiter looks at me. We understand. We understand eachother's pain.
>Waiter walks away, leaving my screaming sister
>Sis goes to pull a Gordon Ramsay and show go to every table with the plate to "Warn them"
>Pull her out of the restruant
>It was her 18th birthday
>MFW

>>9160406
this is... barely legible

>>9157289
>We're seated out back
That's not a real table. They just put you out back so you'd get out of their hair.

Oh man I have a million of my drunk ass mom


>Be at Texas Roadhouse
>She orders that huge fucking margarita
>Im 10 and my dad never drank a day in his life
>Order comes
>She reaches over and touches our steaks and tries our sides
>Hellfire rains
>Calls waitress over
>this poor young girl
>"IS THIS WHAT YOU FUCKING CALL FOOD I WORKED IN A FIVE STAR RESTAURANT IN FORT LAUDERDALE GET YOUR MANAGER HERE NOW"
>She was a waitress too
>Has literally no idea how to cook
>I got my steak rare, just like my pops
>"LOOK AT THIS FUCKING STEAK ITS RAW"
>Storms out
>Slips on peanut shells
>My father and I continue eating
>She comes back in
>"WHAT YOURE NOT COMING WITH"
>nope.jpg
>"FINE I'LL WALK HOME"
>We finish our dinner in peace
>Come out and shes crying on the side walk calling us traitors
>mfw

>>9163005
alcohol sure is great.

I'm SEAsian.
>Eating at Hartz Chicken, a buffet restaurant with family.
>In the middle of eating, a couple of white people comes in, bringing around 12 local children
>Aunt : I think they're on charity and treating local orphanage kids.
>The group passes our table, the children walked first.
>When the white couple passes, my aunt and cousin gagged from the body odor.
>We exit the restaurant ASAP, one other table behind us follows suit.
I don't know whether it's because the couple sweated a lot or they just truly smell. While I don't want to talk bad against them, but that event sure did ruin the food.

>>9163005
Another. I was older this time.

>Mothers day
>Take her out to a fancy Italian place
>She orders a glass of red wine
>here we go
>They bring us out bread, olive oil, balsamic, parmesan, and black pepper.
>"We didnt order this."
>"It's complimentary"
>"Yea I'm sure, can I get another glass of wine?"
>She orders carbonara
>I as always go for the special which today was lasagna
>She has a hard time not touching other peoples food
>Lifts up my top noodle
>"Excuse me my son ordered the lasagna and theres no meat in it"
>"Ma'am the ingredients were listed on the board"
>I tell her I was aware
>So far so good
>"Can I get another glass of wine?"
>awww shieet
>Note that this was all before she tried her food
>She tries a bite
>Calls waiter
>"SIR ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHY IS THERE HAM AND NOT BACON IN MY CARBONARA"
>"Ma'am, that is prosciutto. Its the classical way to make carbonara"
>here we go
>"ARE YOU KIDDING ME I WORKED AT A FIVE STAR RESTAURANT IN FORT LAUDERDALE I KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT IM NOT PAYING FOR THIS MEAL SON LETS GO YOU CAN GET ME SOMETHING SOMEWHERE ELSE"
>Nah you've embarrassed me
>ON MOTHERS DAY YOURE GOING TO LET THEM TALK TO ME LIKE THIS? I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN"
>k
>She storms out
>I assure them ill pay for her meal
>they refuse
>I finish my meal
>She actually walked home

Seems harsh on my part i know but shes been to rehab twice and im sick of her shit tbqh

>>9163059
>seems harsh on my part

Nah, she absolutely had that coming.

>>9163005
Mine doesn't even drink and still acts like this much of a child, I just stopped going places with her completely because of shit like this

>>9161103
I say we believe this guy. Seems like he would know

>>9157289
>Big group

You didn't call ahead, did you? A lot of restaurants require notification for groups over 8

>>9159315
One time i told my cousin to bring me some whataburger to my work, i work at a nightclub, he came and bring my burger, it was a pretty busy day so i wait for it to slowdown totake a break, when i finally got a break i went to the break room to eat, they put extra fries Wich was nice, but no meat on the burger, a week after that I went to that same whataburger and they took 30 min for my food.

>>9162115
this

>>9162179
>desert suburbs in California
Those are weird places. My cousin kept being called a Mexican, approached by friendly Mexicans and insulted by old white people for being Mexican
>he's Indonesian and so am I

>be me
>10 at that moment
>go to local korean restaurant with my dad
>my dad is a vegetarian
>get in the restaurant
>the owner stands in front of the entrance, he looks happy
>(super korean squeaky voice)"welcom. have a sit over ther"
>he bows down
>i bow down
>my dad just greets him like "hello"
>get a nice table
>the menu is brought
>my dad chooses what to eat
>"what do ya want to eat, anon?"
>i want chicken
>"ummm there is a spicy soy sauce chicken can i have it please papa"
>"NO"
>he orders tofu and guksu soup
>for me he orders spicy tofu and half of a bowl of that guksu soup
>guksu soup looks like it has meat in it
>be happy
5 MINUTES LATER OR SO
>"hey whats that"
>that is a tofu
>just fried tofu
>"DAD WHAT IS THIS"
>"HOL UP son"
>waiter also gives us some sauces and other sruff
>they also give me an a fork and spoon
>no knife
>notice that the owner looks at us
>with disgust on his face
>begin to eat
>"dad this tofu tastes like nothing"
>"dip dis in that sauce"
>its a soy sauce
>"then put this red thingy"
>it is some sort of processed spicy pepper or something
>do it
>eat it
>this is pretty good
>but i want meat
>suddenly, the waiter brings guksu soup
>and there is NO meat
>"wheres meat"
>"i told them not to put it here"
>get frustrated
>eat all of that
>"did you like the food huh?"
>make an a frustrated face
>"that is definetely better than mcdonalds, eh?"
>make the face more sad
>owner looks at me
>he have looked in my eyes
>i was a little bit scared
>"uhhhh lemme go to the toilet"
>get out of the table and head to the toilet
>open the toilet door
>there are no lights
>there is a switch between the women and men's bathroom
>press that one which is closer to the men's
>suddenly the lighta go off in the women's bathroom
>whatthefuck.dll
>you hear screams out of here
>there was a woman
>she looks around, until she looks at me
>my hand is on the light switch
>she looks at me like im the hitler or something
cont.

>>9163386
HNNNNNG THICC

>>9163386 cont.
>"EXCUSE ME YOUNG MAN"
>"uhh yes ma'am"
>"DONT YOU KNOW HOW TO TREAT WOMEN?"
>strangely, im having a boner
>"sorry ma'am"
>"GOOD"
>finally i get to the bathroom
>i think that im getting sick
>do wang-dang-noodle thingies
>get out
>go to my dad's table
>there is no him
>"hey boi"
>look back
>the owner stares at me
>"yor dad is outside"
>his middle aged asian face was scaring me a little bit
>"thanks mr."
>get out
>im sweaty
>look around
>my dad is arguing with that woman
>and seems like her boyfriend is here too
>he is an asian who looks gay with his weird haircut and piercings
>the best thing i could do is stealthily come up to them and listen to their conversation
>come up to the thrash bins
>they dont see me
>they were talking about me and how did my dad needs to pay them or else something bad will happen
>i have only heard that
>im scared
>get sick
>almost sick
>come out
>"oh hi dad i was lookin for ya"
>dad looks at me weirdly
>they are looking at me like i have killed their dog/child/something else
>"come on son, we should go home"
>"ok dad"
>get in the car
>dad tells me how did that happen
>i tell him my version
>he tells me her version
>he tells me a long story how did they were talking
>"uh dad i think they were talking about something bad"
>dad looks at me
>he sighs
>get home
>dad tells me that chick was some bitch who needed money and "his gay asian boyfriend" is "some gang member"
>"but what are we gonna do?"
>"im going to do something"
next 2 days
>dad has gone somewhere 2 days ago
>im bored
>dad suddenly comes in
>he is okay
>i ask him what happened
>he says that nothing has happened
>he was "somewhere you dont need to know"
>"ok papa"
>live happily after this
i still dont know what happened

>>9163434
Someone screencap this I'm on mobile.

>>9163059
I'm sorry for your mom but
>prosciutto is the classical way to make carbonara
No, it's either guanciale or pancetta. Some will argue that even pancetta is not the classical way. Either way causing a scene for such a thing is absolutely idiotic, even more if it was written on the menu

>>9163064
as family he should have been stopping an alcoholic from drinking if shes already been to rehab

>>9160063
I had the exact same thing happen to me in Tokyo. I ordered spaghetti with meatballs at a cafe and it was freezer-tier cold. It's some sort of weird trend apparently

>>9163059

Your mom is like Cotton from King of the Hill
>I KILLED FIDDY MEN!
>I WORKED AT A FIVE STAR RESTAURANT IN FORT LAUDERDALE

>>9158959
Parents tend to have shitty food ideals after this hit a certain age. My mom, everytime we try to take her someplace nice, will always insist on some fucking dive ass place that she insists is always good. However they're either out of the good food, or it wasn't up to par that time. So we never have a good meal. If I wanted to eat a damn tenderloin I'd stop at one of the thousands of Caseys in the area and buy one for $3 instead of anything.

Her birthday is today but we always celebrate it on the weekend and I've been putting off asking where she wants to go knowing for a fact it'll be a dive again. From her place she has a 35 minute drive to a big college town with alot of different restaurants. Always settles for shit comparable to fast food.

>>9162471
>women
>capable of appreciating food

Just give them a plate of chicken nuggers, it's the only thing their pathetic baby tastebuds can handle.

>>9162193
1 cap full of bleach mixed with 1 gallon of water will make you pass a urine drug test.

>Hammered as fuck
>Friends go to some pizzeria just outside the Hermosa Pier.
>Laying head and hands on table hoping the world stops spinning so weird.
>Friends eating pizza.
>Snap up "ZACH I GOTTA GO NOW"
>Friend grabs me and brings me to the bathroom.
>Give the pizza cooks a friendly wave trying to look sober.
>Knock over all the menus sitting on the counter onto the pizza behind the glass.
>cooksfacewhen.jpeg
>Start puking as soon as the door opens.
>Toilet looks far so i start puking towards the sink. Projectile all over the handles.
>Friend doesnt know that and pulls me like a slingshot towards the toilet.
>Cover every square inch EXCEPT for the interior of the bowl with puke.
>"HEY MY POTTY'S A KOHLER TOO"
>Powerwalk out of the bathroom restaurant

>>9162159
>bean burger
fuck is a bean burger?

>>9164485
like a salmon burger or a chicken burger, but with bean instead of the salmon or chicken

>>9164604
that sounds disgusting, but alright

>>9161972
Sounds about right. Second gen immigrants are the worst