/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9150231

Only thing missing from that is some fava beans futhfuthfuthfuthfuthfh

>>9150389

>>9150274
wtf r u meant to do here? likc the fuckin table or somethin? like a fuckin dog? in the middle of a fuckin restaurant? what a fuckin joke

>>9150231
I don't know that actor's name, but everytime I see him, I get these images in my head of him in a nazi uniform shoving juice in an oven.

>>9150274
>"Good evening, sir, madame, we're here to JUST your table"

>>9150401

>>9150298
Useless talent

>>9150231
this thread needs some jack webms

>>9150412
>>9150460
>you uncultivated swines wouldn't understand that it's an experience, not a meal

>>9150445
>blocks the rice from falling out with his hand

>>9150298
>get a boner on /ck/

>>9150469
>>9150409
wtf

>>9150298
Imagine the shits she takes

>>9150473
Imagine that was your head instead of a melon and think again.

Hey guys, can someone post it? You know what I'm talking about

>>9150538
>melon

>>9150274
I've seen this a few times before and I can't figure out if it's serious or maybe a skit from a comedy TV show? Have these barbarians never heard of fucking plates?

>>9150412
I love how autists get triggered every time by this. It's just an original way of serving food. The table is obviously clean and you wouldn't have a hard time eating with a fork and knife unless you are a drooling retard, which granted you seem to be.

>>9150445
This should be considered a crime, punishable by binding his hands with mittens for six months and barring him from ever entering a kitchen ever again.

>>9150495
You got a boner from that? It looked like she just had a violent menstruation.

>>9150401
I don't see a problem with this.

>>9150565
It's harder to sterilize one large surface than it is to sterilize six small surfaces.

>>9150572
I'm sure that place is expensive for having people play with your food for you before eating it. It's more of a performance than dining though, kind of dumb but people sure do like their art.

>>9150572
what? who cares if it's slightly harder for the staff?

>>9150579
Because people make more mistakes on more difficult tasks. In this case, a mistake might result in illness.

>>9150575
it's not an art performance lol. It's just a different way of doing things. It allows for a more communal experience.

>>9150581
bruh it's just cleaning a table. your staff should be able to handle this.

>>9150590
How will they protect against other patrons sneezing on it after they've "cleaned" it?

>>9150582
>a more communal experience.

It reminds me of savage animals feeding on a carcass. Humans don't eat like that.

>>9150595
I don't know what else to say to you. Besides of course that you have autism.

>>9150582
How is it not a performance? You're watching them make something interesting looking with your food, that's the only purpose it serves. That's marginally more communal than just eating with your friends.

>>9150599
>he made good arguments that I can't refute
>I-uh......you, er.... MUH AUTISM!!

Wow, quality post. You're a real asset to the community.

>>9150591
Jesus Christ. Are you one of those germaphobic spergs? How do you protect yourself from someone sneezing in your face?

>>9150603
>good arguments.

you just said the same autistic thing you said in the beginning brainlet.

>>9150608
I don't eat food off my face.

>>9150608
I assume hes trolling or hes not aware of humans possessing an immune system.
Also people in the kitchen spread bacteria all the time in the kitchen, touching their faces then food with bare hands etc. Its just not going to make anyone sick.

>>9150611
What?

>>9150602
Of course it's fun to look at, but they can hardly do it in advance so they have to do everything right before your eyes anyway. It's more communal in the way that everybody hasn't their own predetermined plate rather then everybody sharing one big plate. Like a fondue or Raclette allows for a more social experience. .

>>9150614
If you think it's perfectly fine to eat food right off your table, then I assume you don't own any plates yourself, right? Fuck off, idiot.

>>9150615
>>9150274
>>9150595
You are basically making the same retarded point here that somehow eating like that resembles "savage animals", which again just makes you seem autistic.

>>9150628
Just because somebody disagrees with you does not "make them autistic." Are you OK?

>>9150622
holy shit can you be more retarded?

>hurr if you eat with chopsticks at a chinese restaurant how come you don't throw away all your forks?

>>9150632
never said that it does. However using terms like "savage animals" and "dogs" to describe people who eat in manner that deviates slightly from the norm makes you pretty autistic yeah.

>>9150298
THICC

>>9150231
What is he making and how would I find out?

>>9150401
goddamn gooks

>>9150637
Using analytical language to make comparisons to concepts not immediately connected to the here-and-now does not "make someone autistic."

Just curious, but what is your IQ? What is the highest level of thinking that you are capable of engaging in? Are comparisons really too advanced for you to wrap your mind around???

>>9150482
>''no tip?!''
>''no meal, no tip.''

>>9150645
>tries to convince he is not autistic
>asks about IQ and "highest level of thinking"
>posts graphs

holy shit lmao

oh and also your specific comparison that you used was autistic in its content. Obviously not the act of using a comparison in general. I know you are just trying to sound smart but still. common man

>>9150662
>you're autistic because I say so!
>also, I win the argument just because!
-you

>>9150662
Why are autists so defencive about being called autists? They should accept themselves for what they are and possibly realize no one wants to deal with mentally ill people and subsequently kill themselves.

>>9150670
If someone grew up being diagnosed autistic, and was actually autistic, I don't think they'd be defensive at all about being called autistic. It would just be a descriptor, like calling an African person black.

>>9150670
did you mean to quote >>9150669?

>>9150669
I refuted all of your points and carefully explained to you why you are wrong and autistic. Maybe you are just too dumb to have noticed :^)

>>9150674

>>9150675

>>9150662
>he asked me why I was acting like a retard
>THAT MEANS HES AUTISTIC (WRONG) AND EATING OFF A TABLE IS TOTALLY COOL

Lol, wtf am I reading? You OK, son?

>>9150597
If you piss into a container and seal it for few months, you can create a pretty potent biological bomb.

>>9150571
Probably because your eyes are slits.

>>9150683
don't try to chime in nigger! you are too retarded to understand why you are also WRONG anyway

>>9150641
Ox tail

>>9150595
they aren't feeding on a carcass, they just killed that animal.

>>9150389
his fucking face ruins the videos for me.

>>9150684
Snipin's a good job, mate.

>>9150389
I'm really disgusted by his face.

>>9150654
>"What's the bill? $900? Ok, 10% tip. That's $90 in 5 cent pieces. Enjoy"
*throws $90 in 5c pieces across the room*

>>9150731
Do you not understand what "carcass" means?

>>9150378
No

>>9150812
if you had to write a biology paper or make a documentary it would be very ambiguous to say those lions are "feeding on a carcass" because that would imply the animal was dead beforehand and they are scavenger animals, which is not the case.

>>9150298
I'm just here thinking I'm glad that's not my head

>>9150409
This is fucking cavewoman tier.

>>9150298
>fit abortion

>>9150455
Mads Mikkelsen, if you were wondering.
I liked him better before he was a Hollywood star.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XE4ZBcK01HU

>>9150532
That's what he gets for not leaving that jacket at the door.

>>9150564
Alinea is a real restaurant.

>>9150409 Is from a show, though.

>>9150460
LÖL

>>9150482
>it's shit, what you mean you can't afford shit fucking poorfags

>>9151077
Cavewomen actually needed to know how to prepare shit or bunga and gunga would starve.

>>9150840
Some people 'round these parts are sad it's not their head.

>>9150378
By allah there is a special place in hell for this dude.

>>9150401
RIP Pepe. 00:20 Good lord above.

>>9150532
Mom's spaghetti.

>>9150574
00:00 - 00:09
Hm not bad, but also nothing special. But who the fuck calls them Ronis...
00:10 - 00:15
Woah unexpeted turn
00:16 - 01:04
This has to be a fucking parody.
01:05 - end
Fuck off m8.

>>9150597
Leonardo Di Caprio in
The NEET

>>9150684
Can't confirm.

>>9151385

>>9151383
Jack is the dumbest motherfucker this side of the sun. And the worst part is that he passed on his degenerate seed.

>>9151385
Youseemlikeacoolguywannahang?

>>9151391
>when you want to tell Dad that Mom died but he's doing his fucking routine again

>>9151394
Twice. With different women.

>>9151401
That prodigious proboscus

>>9151391
>You've been working here for 35 years, and you still seem so happy doing it. What's your secret?
>A BIG FAT SACK OF CRACK WOOOOO HERES YOUR FUCKIN FOOOOOOD

>>9151362
I was wondering how long it'd take for our savior to show up

>>9151404

>>9150412
>>9150460
>>9150564
When you pay $700 for your meal, it has to be "special" and "exotic" and "unique"
If you don't see the beauty and class in that video, you're CLEARLY uncultured.

>>9151404
If Jack can do it then so can I, question is why would I want to doom another kid to lifelong misery.

>>9151424
You're better than Jack, anon.

>>9150490
>rice
That's queso fresco

>>9151417
>If you don't see the beauty and class in that video, you're CLEARLY uncultured.
Get your head out of your ass. This is literally modern arts faggotry applied to cuisine. Instead of looking at a blank canvas and saying ohhh I can really feel the intrications of this piece of art you're just looking at a shitty dessert plated on a table. Deep down you know it's shit but you'll just say it's an exquisite experience only for the most refined and cultured, while in reality you're just eating ice cream off a table.
>mfw fags like you think they know a thing about either cuisine or culture

>>9150597
>Leo's Peach Tea

>>9151484
>Sperging out at what was very blatant sarcasm
Jesus anon get it together

>>9150635
> you need a fidget spinner
it's summer in here.

>>9150298

>>9151755
THICC

>>9151084
You should watch ''Adam's Apples'' then

>>9150798
Somehow I doubt you'll have 9,000 nickles with you.

>>9151781
I hate this shit. Seems there's a generation out there who don't think food can be good unless it's 90% bacon and cheese. It's a crutch.

>>9151955
>a generation
more like a country

>>9151955
that's those dumb tasty videos in a nutshell - everything has stupid amounts of butter, cheese, and/or bacon

>>9151416

>>9151955
>>9151977
Nice dubs.
Wisconsin here.
>generation
This is our way of life. Only 'fat' people in my family+extended, have beerguts and no, none do meth.

>>9150274
i will never understand why this webm makes people SO mad

>>9150574
>didn't smoke it
Sad!

>>9151404
You do realize he is self aware enough and is doing this for attention?

>>9150298
>when you nut but she keep sucking

>>9152335
I used to fap to her when I was a teenager. If she looks like that now, thats impressive

>>9150641
Osso bucco

>>9150704
Dummy

>>9152807
She is 29, 30 max anon.
Don't fall for the "only teens are attractive" meme.

>>9152807

Yeah she's still hot. She does blowies now too.

>>9152965
I know those are high-waist shorts, but it looks like she has no belly button.

>>9152335
>>9152807
>>9152865
>>9152892

name?

>>9151484
>>9151417
Actually the vibe at Alinea is more like "this is silly and whimsical."

>>9152539
Me neither. It's the final course of a menu focused on playful presentations. At one point you inhale flavored air from an edible balloon and then eat the balloon. This is as much about theater as it is about the delicious chocolate and shit.

>>9153010
Ariel Rebel

>>9153047
much bless

>>9152942
CHEESE: ONE BAG

>>9150739
>>9150785

You guys must REALLY hate Martin Yan then.

>>9152576
Wrong.

>>9150684
you would just have fertilizer

>>9150389
5'5 guy here....fucking busted out laughing in real life at file name

>>9153477
post girlcock

>>9153175
>lets not attach the thing properly
>WOOW another wacky video lool

>>9150641
Shepard Pie

>>9153488
I'd buy it if he didn't actually look like a mongoloid.

But he does.

>>9150274
once they finished I would laugh, shake my head without saying a word, get up and walk straight out without paying the bill and no tip

>>9153175
this is one of my favorite jack moments

>>9153899
copy pasta detected

>>9152965
Who is this fluid druid?

>>9150298

I legit didn't notice the pineapple at first and got me a mean ol' spook

>>9154193

Fuck, I mean watermelon

>>9154193
anon how drunk are you

be honest

>>9154205

I might've had a couple of pops on the way to the rodeo

>>9154200

>>9150378

>amerilards

>>9151362
Is this real? Or does he just do this shit on purpose?

>>9154452
A question for the ages indeed

>>9154521
>That hideous thing just to slice onions

>>9154521
i hate how much he likes his hands.

>>9150231
Can we kill these threads yet? Almost 200 replies and nothing that vaguely resembled any cooking worth a damn.

>>9154665
Well that's just sad.

>>9154675
I gotta agree. I guess just not enough people are making food webms, because it's the same shit every time.

>>9150266
>using straws
What an idiot.

>>9154685
why do you always come back then? or maybe add more new webms in instead of bitching about it?

>>9154675

>>9154697
Does it have to be made somewhere so filthy?

>>9150445
What is this?

>>9154708
you assume they have an alternative.

>>9154733
They could at least sweep. Make it look like they washed the floor.

>>9154718
>that cutting technique
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

>>9151781
>cheese's
>reusing footage multiple times

>>9154740

>>9150378
See, the problem with this is, anyone that is actually impressed with this technique or desires this food, would be too lazy to make it.

They will salivate over the gif, then order dominos.

>>9150498
>>9150469
Jesus christ, no offense, but white people seem to produce some of the dumbest people when it comes to cooking.

>>9154753
That one is fine because the person doesn't roughly chop into their own fucking hand.

>>9154665
Asia always had a poor excuse for pizza..

>>9151385
>1 second into the comment
Not bad, but nothing sticks out yet
>4 seconds into comment
Oh wow, he doesn't realize it's a parody yet
>10 seconds into the comment
Fucking FINALLY.
>15 seconds into the comment
Fuck off m8

>>9151914
anon...

>>9154631
Remember how he explained he would never remove his wedding ring after everyone complained because he was handling raw meat with it on? Then later he got pinkeye and tried to cure it by putting Cayenne pepper in his eye.

>>9150298

>>9154772
look up IQ score distribution and race. Whites have more actual geniuses and legit retards but blacks are just lower all around

>>9152972
pls no bully test tube girl

>>9154777
>That one is fine
It's really not.

>>9154806
>the average ck poster
No wonder this board is so shit.

>>9154824
/ck/ is a /fem/ board this is the average poster

>>9154799
That's not really true. The white bell curve is taller and shifted right of the black one, suggesting a more consistent average IQ and an overall much higher average IQ. You're thinking of the IQ distribution comparison between men and women, in which the curve for men is flatter than that of women, suggesting much more volatility.

>>9154825
Even worse.

>>9154799
>>9154829

>>9154799
Looked it up, seems countries with predominantly colored persons do better on standardized tests.

Technically I only looked at sweden, but whatevs

>>9150574
Absolutely 10/10

>>9154749
Is this serious? The first sandwich looks nice but then it gets ridiculous.

Looks too professional to be a joke though

>>9151781
>simply devine
>devine
>mfw

Does anyone have the hot glasses guy who throws salt on his elbow and meat?

>>9151914
Mate, I once paid a $72 meal in small change. You don't know how far I'm willing to go to spite a waiter.

>>9155193

>>9155193
>ponytail
>hot
how about no

>>9155237
No his glasses are hot you imbecile
>>9155207
Tnx bby

>>9151484

>intrications

please become literate before trying to criticise cultural things

>>9154795
Oh my stereotypes

>>9150298
honestly disgusting

>>9150298
Organic potting soil in the background. Roid freak female crushing watermelons. So many contradictions.

>>9154816
What's wrong with it? You're not one of those retards that say "never ever cut towards yourself", are you?

>>9154521
Is it really so hard to use a knife like a normal person?

>>9155095
Yeah, the moment he puts it into the bun it's something I'd eat, everything after just makes me hate the world.

>>9155249
I fucking wish every nigger was this good at watermelon cutting, holy shit.

>>9154804

I'd put my meat in between her tacos if you know what I mean...

>>9154749

>no vegetables or sauces to cut through the richness

Stupid fucking Italians.

>>9155481
Fuck veggies, I want to die of a heart attack sooner than later.

>>9153899
>no tip

>>9155501
I would happily eat the first sandwich, the second bacon roll up, and the fries before they were needlessly mashed up, and have a more delicious heart attack than what was produced in the gif

>>9155274
Yeah I'm one of those "retards." Also it's not only that she's cutting towards herself, she's also holding the knife wrong, holding the food wrong, and applying pressure in the way to most likely result in cutting her fingers off. So yeah, I'm one of those retards. You could even say I'm the biggest retard you'll ever meet in your life.

>>9150469
>>9150409

What show is this from? Thanks in advance.

>>9150597
My only thought was "How did he get them all the same color?" ... this is the point I realized that 4chan has completely desensitized me.

>>9155562

> leaving out the part with the bbc

neat

>>9155568
that's part 2, which I didn't save

>>9150378
looks good to me
the elitists on this board should calm their teetons

>>9151391
those transformer review hit turturro hard

>>9155534
>I would happily eat the first sandwich,
This seems to be resounding response so far, and I agree, everything after just makes my stomach churn. Stuffing everything into a single bun feels wrong.

>>9151781
>Breadcrumbs

>>9150581
nah you just have a sissy immune system u lil cuck

>>9150582
It's performance art. It's not just "a different way of doing thing" when the normal way of doing things is far superior. The only point to it is to be artsy fartsy.

>>9150298
Scrap 'em, Zarya.

>>9155253
>body builders treat their bodies like temples
>people that treat their bodies like temples eat organic
>people that eat organic sometimes grow their own food

I don't understand what is contradictory about this.

>>9154697
this makes my arms hurt

>>9156554
Body builders pretty much trash their bodies

>>9156529
My anxiety as her hand gets closer to that blade *and* she speeds up...

>>9156529
>>9156585

>>9155562
why does she have to hold the god damn container like that? just put it down on a fucking solid surface so you can get better scoops

Fucking women

>>9155572
I tell you, the singularity is nigh.

>>9150569
yes and

>>9156693
an animal had to die for this faggot to fuck it all up.. sad.

>>9156899

>>9156909

>>9156913

>>9156921

>>9156925

>>9156929
Holy fuck

>>9156929
Candymaking is so damn cool

>>9154737
The floor and hook is probably covered in residue of candy and they probably clean up either in the morning or night before having to pump out an unholy amount of candy by hand.

>>9154452
he does it on purpose because he's actually that bad, but he's delusional so he thinks his youtube channel is popular because he's a good cook.

>>9151955
this

>>9154779
because
>Asians don't have ovens in their homes, so they can't make their own
>It costs $30 or $40 for a "Large" dominoes (medium size in white countries)
Seriously, if you want to get rich open a pizza place in Japan that does cheap, big pizzas with proper toppings instead of corn, mayo and broccoli.

>>9155207
>taps knife
M'lady

>>9152042
maybe they should do some meth and lose some weight

>>9151362
He cooked that dollar store cut of meat rare, I am in tears

>>9157050
asian countries don't subsidize dairy like NA does so cheese is more expensive there you cockmunch

>>9151409
Jumpin Jesus

>>9154738
Is this many eggs really neccesary?

>>9153891
>>9154521
>>9154452
>>9153175
>>9151404
>>9151383

>>9150495
I'm with this anon. I kind of want to rough her up a little.

>>9156929

AT LAST

I TRULY SEE

>>9150378
>all that effort but using american cheese

>>9154772
White people don't need to know how to cook. They pay minorities to cook for them.

>>9151362

>>9157126
Yes. He's the surly king of the eggfort.

>>9154718
This is fucking painful to watch

>>9150641

>>9150274
I believe that's alinea

>>9154832

>Start shit talking white people
>White people bring the heat
>"reee go back to /pol/"

Talk shit get hit niggers

>>9151385
>This has to be a fucking parody.
gee boss i dunno, seemed pretty serious to me.

>>9153062
not them, but his face isn't half as bad.

>>9157259
> talking shit about white people
b8 m8

>>9156929
That's real cool. Weird too because I binged out on candy making videos last night.

>>9157385
>Make jokes about white people sucking at cooking based on a stupid TV show
>"Oh YEAH? Well black people have a lower average IQ than white people!"

>>9154795
that's fucking awesome

>>9150445

>>9150274
I used to do this when I was 3 years old. does that make me qualified to work at a 5 star restaurant?

>>9151391
>that stealth nose pick at the 8 second mark

anyone has those videos of japs doing really disturbing cooking with animals atill alive? like fishes, eels, frogs and stuff, I had them saved but they just dissapeared.

>>9155207
I need more MEAT

>>9158340
>disturbing
Hope you never have to visit a slaughterhouse.

>>9158366
nigga I have killed pigs but looking at a jap eating some half dead animal still breathing is disturbing as fuck.

>>9158374
>I am a gigantic pussy
Does a fish flopping around weird you out too?

>>9155572

>>9151781
>their mission is to create an army of mac-heads
No it fucking isn't, why do clickbait videos say stupid bullshit like this? Their mission is to sell macaroni to fat fucks, because they're a fucking business.

>>9158379
here's your (you)

>>9150298
my dick is diamonds

>>9154521
ho does this ree ree breathe

>>9154718
NO.

>>9154718
STOP

>>9150409
BATONNY CHOP CHOP

>>9154709
>tattoos
Dropped.

>>9155546
she very clearly lessens pressure as the thing she's cutting becomes smaller and smaller

>>9154795
I would be triggered by how much she left on the rind if I wasn't so god damn impressed

>>9158503
whats wrong with the rind?

>>9158379

>>9154139
Carmella Rose, took some google-fu

>>9158966

>>9158991
>can't slice it apart in one cut

forged in fire failure. this blade will not KEEL

>>9158966
That's one fresh fish.

>>9154834
Subtle Sweden burn.

>>9154718
Where is this from?
I thought it would be Kay making fish and chips, but she used precut chips in that (of course she fucking did)

>>9150469
How the fuck does she have all her fingers?

>>9150595
Not even a furry but if she keeps looking at me like that

>>9159013
Not sure if troll

>>9150401
Literally are they aliens? Why are there just so many examples of chinks lacking the most basic of human compassion.

>>9159319

It is Kay. They're fish cakes done her way. Possibly the worst thing she's made.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZoRAniTeIM

>>9160543
Like many other things, the Japanese have taken the concept of fresh food to an ultra-autistic level.

>>9156693
KNIFE SKILLS ARE GREAT CHEF!

>>9160969
Ahh, thanks buddy. I knew it was Kay because I actually fucking recognise the stove by now.
I wonder how self aware she is. It has to be at least a little.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrGIH7soopk

>>9151391
https://youtu.be/mGvdVXxFkY4

Duane still putting in work.

>>9154738

The idea is nice, but both the bread and the eggs needed more heat.

>>9161064

There's a concentration technique that allows you to withstand coldness.

>>9161068
Man have you made these? I followed this dude's exact technique and the results were fantastic. And btw he's using white bread which doesn't really get golden brown.

>>9150532
Awhile ago there was an anon who wrote this super long post analyzing the hell out of this while he was high. Did anyone happen to save that?

>>9161048
what the fuck is going on

>>9150266
God, I would annihilate her in an eating contest.

>>9154738
The Somber King of Egg Castle.

>>9150401

>>9151391
>*acts as fucking autistic as humanly possible*