/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>no unlimited breadsticks
>no complimentary crab legs

>don't get to choose your own table
>crying baby in the restaurant

pool of liquid on the bottom of your plate.

>>9044222
>listing some but not all ingredients
Example:
>spinach and mushroom focaccia with balsamic reduction
Forgets to add
>drizzled with meme-oil and powdered with kraft parmasean flavored crumbs

>used dildo sticking out of the booth's seat cushion
that was the last time I went to Olive Garden

>>9044246
>unrelated sauce on rim of plate

>>9044222
Too many, too big plates cluttering table

>the squeal of metal on teeth when someone bites their fork or spoon
>tfw someone does it intentionally

>trying to eat your food but there's a woman sucking some dude off under the table in your fov

>server touches the rim of my glass while sitting it on the table

>>9044265
>dinner and a free show
What are you, some kind of pleb?

Any side besides fries or garden salad costs 3 dollars extra
Not allowed to get certain sides with certain dishes for some reason

Cheap, shitty molson Canadian or Budweiser costs 7.50 for a pint

Basebore is on the TV instead of hockey

Wine snobs that do that ridiculous slurp gargle bullshit to loudly announce that THEY KNOW HOW TO DRINK WINE


fuck off

Also people who slam their pint glass on the bar every time they take a sip. I hate you too

>>9044222
>gimmicky junk on the walls/all over the place

>>9044222
Chicken shoehorned into dishes where it doesn't belong. You know, roast chicken is delicious. Fried chicken is delicious. Same goes for chicken soup/stew. But when it's used as a bland default protein in pasta dishes, salads, sandwiches, burritos and even fucking sausages it's fucking bullshit. Same goes for turkey.

Also cheap cheese heaped all over everything. I'd rather have no cheese in most cases, or at least I'd be happy to pay a little more for a smaller amount of good quality cheese.

Mayo spread so thick on subs/sandwiches that it drips out while you're eating. Fucking disgusting.

Reastaurants that have chairs with no backs at tables. Tall chairs at bar tables. Fuck I just want to relax while I eat and keep both feet on the floor..

>only serves bottled beer
>only serves macrobrews and micros that are owned by macros

>take out area at the back of the restaurant

>>9045540
>But when it's used as a bland default protein

that's literally the definition of chicken

>restaurant puts tip line on receipt for take out orders

>>9045819
I draw a line through it just so they know I saw it and said fuck you

>>9044222
ghetto trash.

>>9045836
>>9045819


I got a takeout from BWW a few months ago... my first take-out in over 2 years. I was caught off guard by the tip line and gave a dollar. Still kicking myself over doing this months later.

>>9044232
>no complimentary crab legs

>>9045845

this is what happens when you live in a 50% black town

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHrX0RBW_3I

>>9045859
remove nog

>>9045819
??? It's just the default thing computers print at restaurants, it'd be a pain in the ass to have an entirely different receipt just for takeout. Now when it's a place that ONLY has counter service/ take out and they put a tip line then fuck them

>water chestnuts

>>9045836
>being this petty

Fuck who? It's not the fault of the teenager who cobbled together your order that a tip line exists on your receipt. Whoever had the idea to put it there will never even see your receipt.

>>9044250
no goddamn way that could have happenned. What purpose would it serve ?

>>9045905
>Fuck who?
The owner/manager of the store.

> It's not the fault of the teenager
Clearly

>Whoever had the idea to put it there will never even see your receipt
Have you never worked retail before? Double-checking receipts is part of the daily "closing" process that goes along with sending the credit card batch out for processing, counting the cash in the register, and so on. Whomever is assigned that job most certainly will go through all the receipts; in all the places I have worked that's usually the owner or manager.

>>9045950
>What purpose would it serve ?

A prank left behind by some customer that went unnoticed by the staff.

>>9045816
That's what it's become. And that's what ticks me off - the use of chicken in lackluster dishes that do nothing to show it off. When chicken can be so delicious roasted or fried I don't get why the fuck flavorless chicken ends up in burritos or salads or in fucking wrap sandwiches.

I think it's only popular because people have no idea what they ought to eat, so they just order chicken whatever.

>>9046177

Chicken is inoffensive and appeals to the pickiest of eaters.

>>9046199
Agreed, but that's no excuse for the godawful chicken dishes on chain restaurant menus and thrown together in American home kitchens every fucking night.

Having non spoon shaped spoons .

>>9045577
>feet swing on a 3ft stool
lol

>>9044222
>soda priced more than a dollar
>gives you the can

>>9044246
I just pour it out onto the table myself.

>>9044246
Ah, the Joe Rogan special.

>"WE PROUDLY SERVE 87 MICROBREWS AND 0 MACRO"
>83 ipa's, 2 pale ales, 1 hefe, and blue moon

>a dozen tv's on with the volume competing against patrons
>serving anything in mason jars
>"rustic" to mean "we're too fucking lazy to plate this correctly"
>"we can't cook this steak rare for you"
>taking my plate away before asking if I'm done
>taking my plate away with my silverware so I have to ask for another set, causing the bitch single mother waitress to roll her eyes at me, then cussing me out when I don't leave an 80% tip
>waiting 40 minutes for a cup of coffee and 60 for my food because I told the waitress durring a rush that I'm patient and won't be upset if I have to wait a bit
>salad that was obviously a bag mix from aldis
>plates that are soaking wet from being washed 10 seconds before putting food on it
I just have autism, I'll stop the list here.

>>9044246
>using too much sauce
ehh ehh ehh

>>9048571
do your feet hurt too, by any chance?

>>9048571
>"WE PROUDLY SERVE 87 MICROBREWS AND 0 MACRO"
>83 ipa's, 2 pale ales, 1 hefe, and blue moon
I fucking hate this so much
Don't advertise your shitty "antique wooden bar" as a craft bar if all you serve is 80+ IBU beers.

>>9044222
As a whole food vegan, pretty much everything. But I just shrug it off.

>may contain
>explicitly does contain as a deliberately added ingredient

>>9044222
>authentic mexican food
>it's texmex

>>9048640
texmex is way better than actual mex

>extra spicy
>they just put on Tabasco/franks red hot

>what is on special
>our specials run all day

THAT MEANS THAT THERE AREN'T ANY

>>9048599
On occasion, not currently, however

>>9048642
>order something extra spicy
>they just double up the sauce
>sauce isn't even spicy

>>9044262

Fuuuuuck.

This gets to me so bad and I don't know why. Even just looking at someone doijng it sends chills up me

>>9044222
>"Please bus your own tables"

>one side of booth is incredibly cramped
>other side is obnoxiously spacious
>table is bolted to the floor so you cant move it

>>9048668
>restaurant says they aren't full
>only outdoor seating is left
>the staff forgets to check on you because outdoors

>>9048571

Your gripe about beer is fucking spot on. Why does everything have to be a shitty interpretation of an IPA? And, that's all I can ever find out and about at nicer bars. This is why dive bars are better

>>9048650

There's a shit sushi chain restaurant where I live that has all day happy hour. They have had all day happy hour since the day they've open

Uncharismatic bartenders.

>the restaurant has glass ketchup bottles

we get it, you're old fashioned. But this shit is annoying.

>>9048615
>>9048571
>>9048687

What is this, 2014? IPAs are passe, it's all about sours and belgian style now

>>9048679
I once ate at an On the Border with my girlfriend and they sat us outside
We waited (mostly out of curiosity) for about an hour until the waitress remembered to take our order, so we just got up and walked out in front of her
The manager ended up stopping us and tried to comp our order but I declined out of fear for what they'd do to the food

>Delicious sounding item
>Has a thing I really one thing out of like, 12 on it I don't like
>Can I get this but with no x on it please?
>Uh...sorry thats just how they make it

Always either means the chef is a snobby piece of shit, or its being microwaved from a package in the back.

>>9048769
Sometimes the item is cooked into the pre made sauce

Like ordering broccoli cheddar soup without broccoli

>mom and pop mexican place
>a giant dollop of sour cream on every single component of every single dish

>ANY CASH ONLY RESTAURANT (obvious tax evasion, period)
>BITCHY HOSTESSES
>FAILURE TO HONOR RESERVATIONS
>waitstaff who pour the dregs of wine into your glass
>waitstaff who pour your beer improperly
>overly informal waitstaff, people who act aloof or even sit at your table/booth as you order
>restaurant owners who post their political opinions in the window (I'm looking at you, Manhattan)
>American waitstaff who say "cheers"
>dishes listed on menu as "___, ___, ___" in all lower case (for example, "scallop, watercress, tomato")
>when waitstaff breaks your cash in such a way that you're forced to tip them big

I can name some more

>order the screaming tower of pain hellfire inferno burger
>it's just a normal burger but with banana peppers rings and franks red hot
>halfway through your meal the waitress comes by to check in
>"haha so how's the burger? HOT enough for ya? :-)"

>>9044247
The restaurant I work at does this and it pisses me off. But it also pisses me off when an entree lists all the ingredients but people still ask what's in it even though they have the menu right in front of them.

>food served on a fucking pan

>>9048934
Jesus Fuck
That fat arm in the left of the pic

>>9045859
Why do negresses always get caught on photo making a clapping motion like good old Rose Lazy Eye there? Genu-ine question here

>restaurant doesn't take reservations

>>9048826
Really? Most of my favorite places are cash only and don't take reservations.

This meme was interesting 5 years ago, now it's just lame

>>9049195

Clapping to the music is a big thing in black churches.

>>9045961
They should totally take the time to make and use different receipt presets for different orders. That's totally worth the money you're not paying them.

>>9049524
The metal tray only makes sense for bbq places.
Where else have you seen them?

>>9049596
RUSTIC
U
S
T
I
C

Places

>>9049596
I've seen them at a place selling fancy hamburgers, and another that was a "brew pub".

I don't think they make any logical sense at all. The aluminum trays conduct heat really well so they basically act as as giant heat sink cooling off your food. I can see how someone might pick them because their appearance matches the style of the restaurant, but practically speaking they suck.

>>9049524
To be fair places in Texas have done this since forever. The trays, pickles, white bread, meat on paper etc. Is exclusive to Texas style BBQ joints

>>9045596
that's where you get your drugs from mang

>>9044222
How Trump eats at Pizza Hut™...
https://youtube.com/watch?v=B-XgMymBIY0
Science:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=gi-TBlh44gY

>>9044222
Charging for water

Maybe being an an American spoiled me, but that was my only gripe about eating abroad.

>>9050187

I've lived in Texas for 33 years. I've never once been served BBQ on a tray like this.

Butcher paper only? Yes. Those cheap red plastic baskets with a piece of wax paper stuck inside? Yes. Paper plates? Melamine plates/bowls? Yes and Yes. But a metal rectangular tray? Never.

>>9050357
>Charging for water
Get the fuck out of dodge. How do Yuropoors justify charging for that.

>>9050368
The same way that Americans buy pic related.

>>9050386
Buying bottled water I at least understand, but here we at least offer water for free with meals, like if you go to any retaurant and ask for a cup of water they'll give you one

>>9050390
>Buying bottled water I at least understand

You think it makes sense pay several thousand times what water actually costs? That seems silly to me. What makes a lot more sense is to fill up an existing container with water and then take it with you.

>>9050357
You needed to specify tap water.

>>9050386
Water's water. Just buy the cheapest bottled stuff you can if you can't trust the tap water where you are.

>>9050413
>You think it makes sense pay several thousand times what water actually costs?
For a clean, sealed bottle of clean water? Yes. Especially if it's refrigerated and available when you need it instead of having to be lugged all the way there.

>>9044222
> Plates without a raised edge
Such as slates, planks, ceramic tiles whatever. The plate is designed with a raised edge for a reason.

> Burgers too big to bite
Do you not understand how they work?
> Burgers so full of sauce it squirts out or dribbles off over your fingers
Great, now I have to wash my hands before I leave.

> Fuckhuge portion sizes
I don't like wasting food. Especially if I've paid for it.
A couple of times I even came back from a 'let's go get pizza with a huge group' with a box full of loose slices.
Boxed them up separated by greaseproof paper, froze them, and microwaved them in ones and twos as lunch for a week.

> Overly chatty staff
Please just let me eat. Especially if I'm on my own; I came for the food, not the conversation.

> Buffet breakfast
Cheaper shit than I get from the canteen at work, at a high price. Unlimited amount of food? Great, if you can keep it down...

>>9044222
>making a fish dish
>nice white wine reduction sauce
>gf comes into the kitchen
>"mmmm smells good but you should put some cheese in there"
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>almost empty restaurant
>hostess seats you right next to the other two tables
I used to be a beta but now I speak up and ask to sit someplace else. Since I live in Miami, I usually get a rude look for asking.

>>9050429
Kill yourself

>>9044222
>stay the night at gf's house
>making scrambled eggs in the morning
>she just walks over and dumps chopped garlic in the eggs
>tastes like shit and rancid shit farts for a week

>>9048571
>>"WE PROUDLY SERVE 87 MICROBREWS AND 0 MACRO"
>>83 ipa's, 2 pale ales, 1 hefe, and blue moon
man does this rustle my jimmies.

>>9048692
this tastes better than plastic squeezy bottles.

>>9046269
its also incredibly cheap

>>9045859
its so funny how blacks always do the "hold me back" gesture at the end of a confrontation as an ego self preserving mechanism

>>9048673
>bolted
anchored, you fucking non working white collar sack of shit

>>9048571
>we proudly serve nothing bot Saison from our 17 hand pump taps

>>9048659
https://youtu.be/OtJ44FyB570

>>9048826
>>American waitstaff who say "cheers"
you take that back asshole!

>>9050872
forgot image

>>9048826
>waitstaff who pour your beer improperly
I recently had a waiter pour a beer upside down so that it foamed, timed it so the foam just hit the top of the glass but didn't overflow, as though it was some kind of impressive feat.

>>9050877
i'm too young to really remember this show but how the fuck did i not know kelsey grammer was in it until just now?

>>9045581
i love this. i love when the menu tells me to ask about the establishment's rotating taps.

>oh yes, we have sierra nevada 420, sierra nevada pale ale, goose island IPA, and new belgium IPA

what's worse is the amount of enlightened white collar dudes in my city who fawn over beer culture, yet have never actually set foot in a bottle shop. there's a sierra nevada brewery about an hour from my city and it's like disney world to these fucking people.

>>9050934
because you're retarded. frasier is a direct spinoff of cheers.

>>9048571
I agree with all of this

>>9048826
All of this

>balsamic reduction or parsley strewn across my food
>overcooked burgers
>tapas/small plate surprise
>Tabasco the only hot sauce
>side not included with main
>servers that blame the kitchen for slow service when they forgot to punch your order
>shit beer 6.50+ CAD for a pint
>"kettle cooked" nachos
>"twice fried" fries

>>9051454
Also forgot
>tea made with hot tap water

I hate when foods served over rice are mixed together. I like having the layers. Food like red beans and rice, gumbo, etouffee.

>>9044222
any nuts in the main course

>>9050386

French love the shit out of bottled water so don't pretend it's an amerifat thing

>>9051454
>shit beer 6.50+ CAD for a pint
its $10 CAD here...........

>>9045540
>chicken in caesar salad

>>9050478
>actively avoiding human contact
>not beta
???

>>9048826
your image is almost more annoying than the things you listed

>>9050615
So are beans and tofu, but you don't see shitty bean and tofu dishes popping up all over the place.
>>9051632
It's a shit dish.

>>9050478
Hate that shit, happens everytime at this sushi restaurant i go to.

>entire restaurant is empty except one table
>seat me in the booth/table right next to or behind them
>its already in a section that is really far from the bar/kitchen

I understand that servers have sections, and with only two table, were gonna both be in that section to make it easier for the server, but damn. At least put a table/booth or two in between us

>>9050478
you realize servers have sections, right? asking to sit further away is a dick move.

>>9051908
Not when there's barely anyone in the restaurant

>>9051908
There's a place I've been going for a few years now, and within the last few months the "summer wave" of hostesses has started seating every table right next another occupied table. There are ~40 tables out on the courtyard and historically they would fill it out slowly in all directions.
>sections
Then why are they filling one server's section first? If there are only five occupied tables on the floor, why cram them together like that? I've worked places with sections and with rotations and they're either being lazy or it's a weird subconscious powergrab thing that has cascaded through the "on the job training" of the hostess stand and management hasn't noticed yet.

>chicken is well done or blackend

>>9051908
>dick move
No its not, not when Im paying the proprietor and the waitstaff's wage. Even more so in this hypothetical, if its an empty room, it shouldn't pain the waitstaff, they're there to wait and serve me, not the other way around you liberal shitstain.

>>9052058
>Implying the people dependent on tips aren't middle of nowhere restaurants in conservative states with laws that allow owners to pay under minimum wage

Women in the kitchen. They don't belong there unless they're sucking your dick.

>>9048858
>HOT enough for ya? :-)
She wanted your dick.

>>9048673
>non-movable tables
FUCK

>>9050335
>>>/r/eddit

>>9050458
>"mmmm smells good but you should put some cheese in there"
Just tell her that you already did, that's why it smells so good.

>all day breakfast
>only available till 1pm
what the FUCK do you mean I can't have bacon and eggs now you stupid fucking bitch?

>waitress comes by to ask you stuff every 30 seconds
or the exact opposite, they disappear.

>go to favorite place
>its suddenly full of loud niggers
I go to a chinese place where ive never seen any black people, only chinese people and a few whites. I cant go to my favorite mexican restaurant anymore because of the amount of niggers. They are just so loud and the food quality has gone downhill, I guess because niggers dont complain as long as its cheap enough. I dont know.

>>9048826
I like it when the waitress sits with me because I always eat alone and dont have any friends. I was at a sushi place and the cute asian girl sat beside me at the bar and ordered all her favorite stuff and even literally fed some to me which was embaressing, but asian women are like that. It was all you can eat so she was like going crazy with it.

>>9051457
hot tap water is one of the most disgusting substances on earth

>>9052435
>niggers don't complain
Niggers ALWAYS complain, cause they always try to get it free, so the restaurant was probably like "fuck it they'll just bitch anyway"

>>9044222
>tell friends we are going to X
>go to x with friends
>they complain about X place knowing full well before hand we were going to X

>>9052558
I have those friends and its the worst since they hate places because they order some shitty meme dish and repeatedly order it.
>oh we are going to a fishhouse on the harbor better order their vegetarian sprout salad and complain their food sucks

It's still better than having to go to dinner with my wife and her one friend who says we are going to one place then when we are in the parking lot tells us about this "great new place in town" that closes down in 2 months because of how shit it is.

>>9052558
>go to some low key or local joint
>friends change order up constantly to fit their unique interests completely making a different item than what the menu has
>complains about taste while eating it
>Wow that sucked

or

>go to mongolian/korean bbq
>they start making their meal
>complain when it tastes funky

I hate hot beefs and any food that involves soggy bread. Like, what the fuck? I also hate ranch. Just the smell makes me gag. I hate too how people give you weird looks when you eat in a place alone. Who cares? Is it so bad to eat a good meal by yourself? And I hate when they dress a salad before hand with dressing. I dont like dressing, I want my salads plain.

>order food
>you HAVE to get a side/potato/salad with it as well and they won't let you order just the thing you wanted

>>9052626
You know you can ask for your salad to not have dressing? How autistic are you?

>>9052626
>salads plain
Uhh, isn't this just lettuce then?
How do you not want atleast some oil and lemon in your salad.

>>9052636

I always ask for no dressing but some places like the olive garden mix it in with salad no matter what so it triggers me. Salad is good on its own dammit. I don't need any dressing at all. I enjoy the crips lettuce and carrots and whatever else without it being soggy and

>>9052658
I mean you go to olive garden so I don't know if you actually can taste anything...

tokyo joes wont let me sub the shitty side thing for more spring rolls

>>9048826
Need sauce on image. Reverse search got me nowhere

>>9050639
But they use ANCHOR BOLTS to keep the tables down. Either phrase, bolted or anchored, works.

>>9048934
They usually specify that on the menu. Some call it a "style", I call it a gimmick.

>>9049526
thang*

is doing this good or evil or what? I don't lurk here

>>9050639
As a faggot who has lived and breathed cast-in-place concrete masonry for his entire life, you are the biggest chump I have ever met

If you really are trying to bitch at someone for saying that furniture is bolted and not anchored (which, by the way, as the other anon said they are anchor BOLTS) you are a fucking greenhorn queer who probably just did babby's first house remodel and doesn't know jack about shit.

Go fall off a scaffold, you popcorn ceiling fuck

>>9048694
You tap on the neck to slowly introducd air

>>9052962
>you popcorn ceiling fuck

Kek. I've filed that one for future use.

>>9053044

That *is* a pretty good one. It's right up there with "needle dicked bug fucker".

>>9050335
>implying he still eats there after the CEO of pepsico made it obvious that she fucking hates his guts and by association, anyone who likes him

>>9044222

No noise-cancelling decoration like large curtains on the walls or drapes from the ceilings. I don't mean in sports bars, I mean in fine dining restaurants. It gets really fucking loud.

>>9044262
>>9048659

In the world of autism, they call those "sensory issues." Mine is people crunching their food. For example, I was waiting at Walgreen's clinic a few months ago and some woman was eating a bag of chips (it's American, so of course she was) in the waiting room. Crunch, crunch, crunch in an otherwise completely silent area. I swear to god I wanted to jump over and choke the bitch. My almonds ... you wouldn't believe my almond status.

>>9048641
>texmex is way better than actual mex

Yes. "Authentic Mexican" is meme as hell. It's just not good on the other regional palettes. You should avoid "authentic mexican" restaurants. Even though, as mentioned, they're probably tex-mex anyway.

t. used to travel around different parts of mexico for work. the food styles changed (like south carolina bbq vs. memphis bbq), but the overall vibe stayed the same. not tasty.

>>9048779
>Sometimes the item is cooked into the pre made sauce

Let's be honest, though. 90% of the time, it's because it's microwaved/pre-packaged/canned.

>>9053317

How is that any different? If it's a canned product, the ingredients are still cooked into the product. The only difference is that it was done at the canning plant instead of at the restaurant. Same problem in either case.

>>9053330

Depends on the restaurant and whether you're expecting canned or fresh. No one goes into Olive Garden expecting fresh made soup, so it's a given that you can't get the onions taken out of your onion soup. But anywhere that the entree is over $25 on average, they should be able to customize everything to some extent.

>>9053403
Sure, I understand the point about freshness.

but we're not discussing freshness here. We're discussing the concept of an ingredient being impractical to remove because it was cooked into the sauce/soup/stew/whatever.

Freshness isn't relevant to this particular discussion.

>>9052463
wat

>>9053410

No, but whether or not it is expected to be practical to leave out or substitute an ingredient should depend on which restaurant you're sitting in. That's all I'm saying. I think it's fair to get triggered about the kitchen saying they can't leave the carrots out of a $14 salad.

>>9050386
even in germany people buy water even if the tapwater is ok

>>9053477
yeah, retards do that

>>9053261
i have this problem too. Its gotten way worse over the years. If I can hear someone chewing I feel like Im about to flip over a table on them. I cant even stand hearing myself chew. Im probably autistic as fuck. at work I cant have lunch in the breakroom because of all the noise and sportsball thats always at 90db on the TV.
So I tried putting in earbuds, but then the noise of my own chewing is amplified by 100, so I have to eat lunch in my car to not freak out on anyone. Its over 100 degrees, im sweating my ass off with all the windows down eating my sandwich before it gets too hot all because Im too autistic to be around loud normies, their shitty food, chewing, smacking their lips, slurping, talking with their mouths full, or their niggerball game.
fuck.

>>9050920

I was at a bar once on its opening night and this chick behind the bar kept pouring beers the wrong way, and when they were foamed up all the way to the top with like 50% of the beer still in the bottle she would make a face and a gesture like "what is wrong with this stupid beer!?!?," pour it all out, open another one, and repeat. She was doing this all night. I nearly told her she just needed to slow down and tilt the glass a little, but she was clearly one of those moderately attractive 20 year old girls who think they're hot shit and would never imagine that she was the one causing the problem.

>>9044250
how did you know it was 'used'?
faggot

>>9053549

It was covered in....substances.

>>9053571
Ah, I see.
Disturbing.

>>9053571
>>9053581
I thought vagina wetness was clear

>>9053534
missed opportunity there m8.

just go with a smile dont make a scene ask for the bottle and a glass.

"watch me *wink wink smiley face*"
"and then you tilt the glass watching the flow"

and then give her the empty bottle back


this wont work if youre shit faced drunk

>>9053584
sometimes when it dries you can see staining.
Also if it was lubed or stuck in someone's ass it will have residues.

>>9053587
>wanting to bang a literal room-temp iq 20 year old "bartender"
Some people are out of high school on this board

>>9053571
>>9053581
>not finding this hot
Fags

>>9053598
*tips fedora*

>>9044501
>waitress sits on the table

>>9053584
>I thought vagina wetness was clear

1)Are clear things invisible to you?
2)You are aware that a dildo can be inserted into other orifices than the vagina, right?
3)Do you know what lube is?

>Waiter spits on you
I hate when it happens

>>9044513
i've experienced your struggle during my travels.
let me guess, northern NY?

>When they don't bring out a plate for my bones when ordering wings.

they bring a tiny plate to eat your wings but I'm not putting my bones with my wings. I just put them on the table

>they don't serve Dr pepper or Mr pibb

>Gay male servers

>Not salting the pasta water

>Burgers to tall to eat

>Tipping

>Go for a steak with Dad
>Order a beer
>Waitress asks me for ID
>Asks my 60 year old father for his ID too for the lulz

Bitch, its not fucking cute

>>9053665
>I just put them on the table
you are uncouth and reprehensible

Syrup touching my eggs and hashbrowns/potatoes

>Waiter doesn't write down order
>gets it wrong
And then they wonder why I don't tip

>>9053698
the server should know my trash won't go back on my fresh wing plate and that the plate she gave me is to tiny to fit a few wings and a bunch of trash on.

>>9053598
>when you were partying, I studied the blade
*tip*

>>9052631
When I went to murrica I ordered a half rack of ribs that came with 2 sides. I said I just wanted one side of broccoli and he didn't understand. They brought me 2 sides of broccoli in the end (even though i insisted it would be too much).

>>9053593
Thank you. What color would those stains be?

>>9053571
>It was covered in....substances.
Can you describe the substances more clearly? Do you think it was anal or vaginal?

>>9053608
>1)Are clear things invisible to you?
Depends how clear.
>2)You are aware that a dildo can be inserted into other orifices than the vagina, right?
Yes, I've asked for clarification on this matter.
>3)Do you know what lube is?
I am aware of lube, but have not seen it before. I considered buying it for a fap but was too scared.

>>9053518

>>9051847
>So are beans and tofu, but you don't see shitty bean and tofu dishes popping up all over the place.
its relatively cheap compared to other meats you fucking idiot

>>9053807
Sometimes if i want a steak, i want just the steak, and not a fucking salad that's forced onto me to increase the price of the meal

>>9050543
What, for defeinding bottled water, for not liking burgers I can't bite, or for collecting leftover pizza?

>burgers with like 20 things on them by default

The default shit is different at every place and some of it straight up ruins the food, like mayo

>>9044246
I wouldn't mind that if they at least gave us bread or rolls to mop it up

I become infuriated when I'm served a sandwich with delicious ingredients but can't eat it comfortably with my hands.
Quickest way to make something delicious disappointing
>pic related

>>9054030
What's the point of making stuff that big? Would it be any less good if it was 1/3 the size?

>>9052631
No more like
>order meal
>comes with appitizer of shitty house salad or soup
>saying you don't want any makes staff look at you confused so get it anyways
>soup or salad comes out
>before you can even finish half of it your entree is delivered
>finish salad or let food get cold
>decide to go to the entree and hold off on the appitizer
>wait staff takes it away thinking you are done

>>9054327
>>9052631
>not eating whatever they bring whenever and however you want
LMAOING @ your autism

>>9054357
It's not that, there are just sometimes the soup isn't appealing or the entree is more than enough food for me and I don't feel like wasting foor or ordering something that will be thrown away half way eaten.

>>9054327
Yeah, that's the service culture in the US and the vast gulf between us and asia in terms of customer service. The employees involved would have been fired on the spot, with possibly a slap to the face. In the US we let uneducated waitstaff plebes dictate our experience and then tip the fuckers to boot!

>go to a bar
>What drink specials do you have for happy hour?
>"We have all day happy hour sir ;^)"

>>9046501
Who's legs don't swing on a 3' stool. I'm 6'4" and barstools are uncomfortable as fuck.

>>9046501
>3' long shins
Are you like 8' tall?

Places that put condiments on my food. Fuck off, why would anyone think a burger should have a ladle of mustard on it.

>>9050361
I've never seen them either but I wouldn't doubt some foodie bbq joint does it.

>>9052435
>niggers don't complain
You've never worked either food service or retail, have you?

>>9052058
>paying for something means being rude is impossible

Here's a dollar, go fuck yourself

>>9045876
Literally no one has ever complained a dish had too few water chestnuts

>>9048893

You admit that your restaurant engages in this practice, yet you are triggered by customers who are leary of this very thing.

They are trusting you to reveal any hidden ingredients.

>>9050187

KC native here been to a lot of BBQ joints and never seen metal trays so maybe you're right.

I'm just wondering what the point of serving the white bread on the side is for.

It's supposed to go underneath you fools.

>>9050361
This guy knows whats up, cheap red plastic baskets are a mark of quality goddammit.

>>9044222
>when they offer 'Pure Spring Water' and use unfiltered ice cubes from their freezer

>>9050554
Do you not like Garlic? Also you should probably fast if it's a week worth of toilet trouble.

>>9050187
I've only ever seen the metal trays at bb

>>9054839
let's try this again
I've only seen the trays at bbq places that are overpriced and not very good

>call ahead for something to go
>they prepare it for there
>say you needed it to go
>wait a bit for them to fix it
>pay and be on my way
>open it
>sloppiestjobeverdoneputtingitinatogobag.jpg

>>9054844
Not him but I've seen that style at a lot of places in the southeast and in arizona, never saw it in texas though unless it was a chain like Mission bbq

>>9044222

Onions..I feel like I am the only person that isn't in the autist spectrum, that fucking hates Onions. To the core.

>>9054856
>that isn't in the autist spectrum
I got some news for you...


Also, you know that zestiness in tomato sauce? Barbecue sauce? Good soup? Almost anything good? Onions.

>>9054587
That's why I try to give subtle physical gestures to convey to my waiter/waitress how perceptive they are. I will take my finished food plates and put them on the very edge of the table. I will hold up my near-empty drink if I want a refill, saying nothing and shaking it a little when they glance my way. I will even talk if I have to just to say "Um waiter, I'm not done with that yet." Try talking to your waitstaff anon?

>>9054030
T H I C C

>order something from a chinese place extra spicy
>they just add extra sauce of the meal instead of putting chili oil or anything spicier they have on it

>>9053403
>>9053403
no dude, soups are made ahead of time and kept on a steam table, what's that you don't want onions, ok, you're not getting anything else in your soup either cause no one's gonna fish out onion pieces individually, they'll just run it through a witches cap

local Thai restaurant only knows 2 grades of spicy
>none at all, zero nada.
>it's 5 tablespoons of curry paste with half the dish being thai chillies topped with another 10 chillies

>>9054935
so then, white boi and regular?

>>9054875
>chinese buffet
>orange chicken but no general Tso's

>>9054972
it's not even regular. Went there with a Thai friend and he called it "fucking crazy".
It tastes awesome but the chili shit is a nightmare.

Menu item says nothing about a handful of cilantro being thrown on top.

Spend 15 minutes extracting soap leaves from my plate.

>>9048207
underrated. seriously, can we make the joe rogan thing a /ck/ meme?

>>9054986
almost same thing

>>9055156
Except for the taste

>>9053677
It's the law, you fuck

>>9053549
Unless it was still in the original packaging, it's a pretty solid bet it was used.

>>9053807
Proper etiquette for ordering broccoli in a rib joint would have been for the server to punch you in the face for even asking for vegetables.

>>9048826
>not wanting to evade taxes
fuck the government

>>9055271
In my state, a father used to be able to buy his 9 year old son a beer.

Too bad the faggots mucked that up.

>>9055156
>rare steak is basically the same as well done, I mean they are both steak!

>>9055440
I mean, yeah?

>>9044513
>tfw you moved away from Western NY and Molson is an "import beer" here
>13 a 6 pack

Where did home go, lads

>bar has shared indoor and outdoor sides to get around smoking laws
>wind blows all the smoke in

>waitress touches you as she hands you the bill because she once read a study saying people tip more of the waitress touches them while handing the bill

>ketchup on anything
also
>waiter kneels down to take your order
seriously what the fuck?

>>9044222

All American foods

>>9052058
mirror mirror on the wall, who is the NEETest of them all?

>Go to burger joint with friends
>We all order the "house special"
>Burgers delivered are, from the bottom to the top: bun, mayo, lettuce, hunk of cooked ground meat the size and shape of a tennis ball, slice of tomato, dollop of "chef's special sauce", bun, fucking wooden skewer through all of it to keep the thing from falling apart

It was, I must admit, pretty damn tasty, but I wish I could've eaten eat as a burger is supposed to be eaten, instead of having to cut it and eat cooked ground meat on a toasted bun with sauce and veg.

>waiter crouches down like a baseball catcher to take orders

>>9044222
>hot humid day
>choose table near the ac
>waiter brings us the food
>cunt with baby decides to sit directly below the ac and then complains to the waiter to turn it off

>>9053606
>waitress sits on table
>demands now you serve her

>>9044222
>go to restaurant
>ask for lunch menu
all the burgers in hte list come with soda and fries
>ok, can i get something to drink thats not carbonated
sorry, the burgers come with fries and soda
>ok i just want water then
sorry, it has to be soda

WTF????
I ended up having to pay extra for water, never went there again

>that one table right next to the bathroom/entrance/kitchen door
>waitstaff that doesn't check on your water
>in upscale restaurants waitstaff who write down your order

>order eggs benedict
>"how do you want your eggs cooked?"

>Order an Arnold Palmer
>get carded

>>9053261
>>9053518
It's called Misophonia and a lot of people have it to a varying degree.

>>9052962
>>9052914
its not bolted to the floor you fucking idiots, bolting something is completely different.

>>9052962
>As a faggot who has lived and breathed cast-in-place concrete masonry for his entire life, you are the biggest chump I have ever met
as someone whose worked aside mason workers for many years i can assure you you have no fucking idea what youre talking about.

>>9056977
Are you having trouble distinguishing cast-in-place from a wedge anchor?

>>9053604
>>9053787
>Not wanting to stick your dick in low tier women makes you autistic
Top wew

>>9056979
restaurants dont use cip anchors unless its a custom built building from the ground up, as most lease their real estate its almost always wedge

>>9056961
a lot of autistic* people have it to a varying degree

I use these as serving bowls.

That seems to trigger people for some reason.

>>9054754
Give me 10 and you can insult my figure.

>>9057016
i also eat out of tupperware often, unless your food requires cutting its a great no mess no cleaning if theres leftovers option.

>>9053330
Preservatives. Moron.

>>9057226
What does that have to do with the concept of ingredients already having been cooked into the food in advance?

Did you even look at the context of the thread?

Nobody is claiming that canned food is literally identical to freshly made food. We're discussing how if the food is prepared in advance, then ingredients have already been added to the food in question. And that's exactly the same regardless if Chef prepared it personally that morning, or if they cracked open a can that was prepared months ago.

>>9046538
this is why i only order to go at asian places and never tip

>>9057016
I use the little ones for sauces and shit, or nuts/olives/etc when we have guests and my gf gets so mad. Same with when I serve hot things out of the casserole they were cooked in, or salads from the stainless bowl I mixed it in.

>>9057543
how else are you supposed to serve a casserole?

>>9057016
I wash the tupperware I get from the chinese takeaway and use it to freeze things in.

The plastic ones are far superior to the finger-scorching metal foil containers.

>>9044247
happened to friend who hates mustard. pulled pork sandwich. didnt mention includes mustard on roll.

>>9057596
You're friends a faggot

>>9044235
It's amazing how badly I would strangle other people's children but not my own

>>9044247
>>listing some but not all ingredients
A pizza place literally pulled this shit on me with unlisted toppings in one of their combinations.

I should have just ordered pepperoni but I bet the bitch would have added extra meme toppings to that shit too.

>>9050335
That's how you're supposed to eat Stuff Crust Pizza.

Literally all you faggots eating it like normal fuck pizza are doing it wrong.

>when waiting for the check takes up most of the time you spend in the restraunt

>>9057656
Get up and start leaving. You'll get the check immediately

>>9053518
Why is your car off? Are you so poor that you can't afford the extra gas needed to keep your car running for the a/c to be on?

>>9057656
>waitress brings cheque and gives us time to finish dessert
>she disappears, wait for 20 minutes for her to pick up card
>you actually have to pay up front at the till
I'm actually retarded I believe

>>9057577
I meant casserole as in something you'd roast or bake food in. I guess you'd call it ovenware or bakeware?

>>9052386
lol

>>9051965
>blackend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU_ggFovJNo

>>9044222
All of Starbucks

>>9045950
just a prank bro

>>9057656
That or you get the check almost immediately after you're done eating but you have to wait 20 minutes as the waiter/waitress somehow takes that long to go and make the payment

>>9051620
thats why he said 6.50+ you mong

>sign says "Please Seat Yourself"
>have to wait 20 minutes before I'm noticed by a server

What do you have on tap?
>Budweiser
>blue moon/shock top
>some garbage Mexican piss beer
>alaskan amber

For cucks sake does anyone carry a porter or stout?

When servers are twats the whole fucking time then when the bill comes theyre your best friend.

Fuck off and work for your tip. Providing minimal service when you have 2 other tables does not warrant any extra money.

Also in washington you get 11 bucks and hour. Fuck yoir entry level job 'I work for tips'

>>9050429

>>9051454
>servers that blame the kitchen for slow service
You think servers cook the food too? I mean if drinks or ordering takes a second then yea, but don't blame servers for food taking a while.

>>9059681
>hamburger bun is completely dried out from sitting under heat lamp waiting to be brought to my table for 25 min
>server blames kitchen

>>9059693
If the restaurant is worth its salt then they won't let food die in the window and servers will be reprimanded for stuff like that. Sounds like you just go out to eat at shitty places.
t. serverfag

>>9048826
>>overly informal waitstaff, people who act aloof or even sit at your table/booth as you order

I had a fucking waiter stand there and bant with me. "You ordered fried pickles? I'll be right out with your onion rings." This humor is right up my Dads alley so I had to suffer in silence

>>9044222
>People who take a bite of something, tilt their head back or something and go "mmm, this is sooo good!!"
>People who lick their eating utensils
>People who try and siphon out those last little bits of drink through their straw too loudly
>People who ask for a bit of your food as they are reaching for said bit of food

>>9059784
>>People who try and siphon out those last little bits of drink through their straw too loudly
I do this without thinking and I always feel guilty afterwords.

>>9045961
>double checking every receipt at closing

No restaurant I have ever worked at does this UNLESS the cash count is already off. It's certainly not something that's done on a nightly basis.

In any case, writing a line on the tip line would not be considered a "fuck you" by anyone seeing it. It's what almost everybody does with a tip line when they aren't leaving a tip. And tips aren't expected for carry out.

>waitstaff doesn't right down meal
>multiple people at table

>I draw a line through it just so they know I saw it and said fuck you
Literally 75% of people do this though, I wouldn't even notice something like that.

If you really want to be a petty dick leave a single cent or some equally shitty tip.

>when you're ordering fast food and the black woman working the register doesn't understand english

How the fuck do you confuse "large drink" with "large fries" when I said it 3 times.

Fucking cashiers who don't know when to quit
>Yeah give me 2 spicy chicken soft tacos, and a burrito with the Habenero sauce enchilada style
>I take it large soda too huh? Like is spicy
>Nah I am good
>You sure? only a dollar?
>Yeah It's fine, it's not that hot honestly
>Telling ya I can get it to you for a dolla!
>No just the food to go please
>Come on man going to need that soda for all that spice
>No just the food, I am going to eat it, I live right across the street
>Okay man but hope you don't run your water bill over a dollar for this mean, know what I am sayin?

biggest fucking wat

>>9053584
Mostly, but depending on how much there is and how much it's being stirred up, it can froth up a little and appear more thick and white, hence the phrase "creaming herself"

>>9053807
Just take extra sides home. Eat it as a snack some other time. I don't understand why this is a difficult concept.

>>9059844
Upselling is pride in your job, which translates to pride in the establishment to pride in their work, which is food in this case.

>>9054327
>being too much of a sperg to not speak up and tell the wait staff that you're not done

Come on.

>>9056756
This had happened to me before. At a joint in Florida that had all you can eat lobster tails for twelve bucks back in the nineties. They brought them to you in these steel buckets lined with table napkins and garlic butter and cocktail sauce and honey (of all things) in ramekins on the side. The waitress was a middle-aged brunette with just a hair too much make-up and this beautiful mane of wavy hair pulled into a tail behind her. Of her name tag was to be believed she was called 'Babs'. She had an easy laugh, the guy at the table across the aisle was loving it, telling all his bad dad jokes and getting a laugh every time off this sweet old broad. So towards the end of the meal, she brings me my check. I'd set aside a few overcooked tails over the course of the meal and she took note of them before asking, "How was everything? Was the service at least alright, sugar?"

I smiled as politely as I could and told her that it was the best part of the meal. Just trying to be nice, really, she was working hard even if I wasn't buying it. So she hops up onto the table and leans to one side so she can pull her hairband out and let all that hair fall straight down before coyly suggesting, "Well, maybe it's your turn to serve me, then, cowboy."

I tipped her twenty percent and left her sitting there at the table with nothing but a, "Keep the change, ma'am."

I tried to tip my hat, to keep the cowboy thing going, I guess. But back in those days I wore a ball cap so the effect was lacking. Still, it was the only thing I liked about Cocoa Beach, Florida aside from the air.

>>9059792
Same, except I do it to summon my refill

>>9060013
is that the moment you found out you're gay?

>place has some drinks with free refill some with bottle/can
>Waiter constantly coming by the table to ask bottle or can guy if he wants another
>Free refill guy has to ask for refills
>Refills take forever, new can arrives on wings of fire

>>9060041
Nah, I just loved my wife. More than she loved me judging by how things turned out, but that's another long post that you read all the way through for almost no payout for another day that you love all the way through for almost no payout.

>>9060064
post it, i liked the story

>>9060078
Well, it so happened that me and the old lady moved to a little hamlet down South by the name of Auburn, Alabama. Hell of a town, college kids everywhere your eye fell and it snowed maybe twice a year at most. At this point, I'd quit my job at the armored car company to stay at home with her. Things were fine anyway, her old man fell over earlier that year and dropped a thick stack on us so neither of us needed to work. Not for a few years anyway. The thing you have to understand about Sherry was that she was the kind of broad that didn't sit easy. Always had to be doing something. Well, Auburn turns out to be a pretty swell college for animal doctors so she decides some of Daddy's money is going to run off to the vet school and she's going to make an animal doctor out of herself because why not, we had clams to blow. I made out to be a proper house husband. Cooking and cleaning, three years of fresh cock after 'coq-uh-van' and all the works. Man I laid some good pipe in those days.

Eventually, though, she started to tank in her classes. It hit her hard, knocked the hairs right off her pussy. Still I just kept cooking and cleaning, trying to be supportive and all that. I offer to go back to driving lunchboxes for her, but she says no, she wants to stick to it until they throw her out. She goes to class less and less. Then the wine at dinner turns into bourbon. The bourbon turns into grain liquor. The fighting starts. I can't make a loud noise without setting her off towards the end there. 1/2

>>9060140
Next thing I know she's inviting this foreign guy from Italy over for dinner. Like twice a week. And whenever he's around she's all smiles and roses and even lets me put it in her after he leaves. So I figure she just needed a friend. Fast forward to next winter and I'm headed back up to the mountains to see my ma and the wrinkled up strip of leather that stands in for her dad. Sherry calls me every night, I even make a habit of smoking out on the stoop while I talk to her, our special time. And it turns out Marco-Antonio is there, too, in the background usually cleaning up after dinner. She seems really happy.
Of course it looks like she's fucking him, but that's fine, she doesn't fuck him when I'm home.
Well, my last night at ma's little shithole in Courtland Sherry calls me in tears. Turns out she's been fucking him. I tell her that's fine, but no-- it's not, apparently. She hates him. She hates me. This dizzy bitch had completely lost her mind. So I tell her to just let me know what she wants and I'll take care of it when I get home.

Turns out home was my ma's place, because I never saw our little house in Auburn ever again. My shit came in on a truck. She invitede to help her move out, headed off to go try her hand voice acting in Atlanta. But I couldn't go back down there. The divorce papers showed up around that time and I signed them.
2/2

>>9050368
Because I don't trust the tap water in Italy.

>>9060311
Does the mafia redirect all the good tap water to all the made men's houses?

>>9059730
servers are always the whiniest bitches, thanks for another example to prove the point. enjoy your shit tips you unskilled faggot

>>9060145
learn2grntxt retard

>>9056977
Those are dyna-bolts.
Therefore it's bolted to the ground.

>>9048934
>metal plate+flimsy handle=rustic pan-served
Why not just save money and buy normal fucking plates? No ones gonna get that and say holy shit that plate was awesome I need to tell everybody about this place. I swear decisions restaurant managers make in regards to "themes" or "styles" for table setting are just retarded. No one chef in his right mind would think that's a good idea.

>>9050335
>The way Trump eats pizza will SHOCK you
>here's why everything about the way Trump eats pizza is WRONG

Thanks buzzfeed