/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>8988894
Untie the ribbon

Eat the vegan breakfast because im happy someone is finally giving me a shred of attention

>>8988894
run
because anytime women do something nice for you. they ask for something in return

>how about i choke you with my thorbing member?

I'd be pretty weirded out that a paid prostitute would do that for me and ask if she'll charge me for the cooking

>>8988894
Press her power button and go make some bacon, eggs, and sausage.

>>8988900

fucking nostalgia man.

>>8988894

prepare the eggs

>>8988894
That would be nice love, I do need to eat less meat.

>>8988900

DELET THIS

>>8988947
sauce?

>>8988965

no thanks, i dont eat my eggs with ketchup

>What restaurant are you taking me to tonight, hotshot?

>>8988985
Mc Donalds. It's the only place that will accept ur trashy clothes. Now give me a BJ and maybe I'll pay for ur mc chicken

>>8989009
I cringed

>>8989019
me 2

Kill the messenger because vegan is a top real world meme

>>8988985
>hotshot
The best part of these posts is how weird and fucked up they presume real women talk

>>8989042
Ah indeed. I only know how fake women talk. Link me your tumblr so I can find out more about things that are already known?

>>8989048

are you literally from India

you type like a retard

>>8989048
You must not know how anybody talks, actually.

ESL sperg.

>>8989048
You don't have to be mad that you've never listened to an actual girl speak in person

>>8989051
>>8989053
>>8989054
Yikes, I've started a shitstorm with my tumblrspotting. Hello there!

>>8989042
>he doesn't use hyperbole and satire in his shitposting
Laughing at you honestly

>Anon we're out of milk. What are you going to do about it?

>>8989075
I'll go buy some more,, i'm not a lazy shit

>>8989075
I'm gonna Buy some more. I'm not a lazy shit

>>8989299
>>8989305

>>8989075
>looks down at her chest
>"i don't think that's gonna be a problem"

>>8988894
Only fatties and day laborers eat before lunch.

>>8988894
You're about 13-16 years old based off your taste in girls OP.

>>8989057
Sup

>>8988947
>those dry as fuck overcooked eggs

>>8988894
she looks terrible

>>8989415
No.

>>8988894
I think breakfast would be the easiest meal for a vegan to pull off, so a pretty bad shitpost.

>>8988894
Those are some amazing lips.

>>8989840
>posting attractive women is shitposting

It's vegetarian. Vegan is a political ideology, one of the branches of marxist critical theory. Now I thought I told you to stop reading those feminist blogs, they'll rot your brain. I will be making breakfast today while you are going to read me some Thomas Paine.

>>8988894
eat some tasty veagan whatever and go for some morning sex, then shower and pour some tea while we wait for her uber/lyft.

>>8988894
Enjoy some toast with jam and coffee I guess?
Idk, I usually eat something like eggs or dairy in my breakfast.

Hey slutface! Where's my Dunkaccino?

>>8988931
>not having the robot make breakfast...

>>8989883
>Vegan is a political ideology, one of the branches of marxist critical theory
you almost got me too until i read further.

>>8989848
God bless lip injections

>>8988894
>Vegan breakfast? Weren't you choking down meat last night like it was going out of style?

>>8988894
Who are you? How do you know my name? What are you doing in my apartment?

>>8989840
One could make this an amazing meme by shopping in a certain gay blowjob outside the window.

>>8988900
fpbp

>>8989883
>vegan = Marxism

I'm no vegan, but son you done fucked up. Marxism is about the people producing goods and services controling their production and being rewarded for their effort.

Were you home schooled by evangelical parents?

>>8988900
>>8990383
>fpbp

>>8989883
>It's vegetarian. Vegan is a political ideology, one of the branches of marxist critical theory

ayo dis nigga retarded

>>8988894
>>good morning, Anon. How about I prepare us a nice vegan breakfast?
>What do?

Then throw the filthy hippy out of my house.

>>8988894
Turn 360° and moonwalk away

>>8988965
you never see this gold or something

>"anon, be a dear and fix up some dinner while I finish up this energy drink review"
What do?

>>8988894
Cool. You've made vegan menemen before, right? I'll get up in a few minutes.

>>8988894
is cum vegan?

>>8989328
Nice

>all these attempts at "humor"
>faggot that got called out for not knowing how women speak is the funniest thing ITT

Never change /ck/

>>8988894
Fuck her silly and skip breakfast

Fruit, granola, veggie and almond milk smoothie? Yes, please.

Obviously anyone on /ck/ not utterly retarded or not into women would accept. You're lying to yourself to appease the ironic, backward-ass sense of reality held by a bunch of anonymous shot posters if you manage to convince yourself otherwise.

>>8988894

>>8988894

>>8988894
make vegan gluten free meatbread.

>>8990958
You're way too cynical and jaded, friend. Lighten up. Take a look in the mirror.

>>8991030

His daughter is 30yo now and he's worth 150mil. Great outcome to his lifes work considering the circumstances of his childhood.

>I was up all night with diarrhea and I'm going back to bed. Your money's on the table. Go home.

>>8988894
chug 3 cans of Orange Zevia and then nut on her face

>>8988894
>My usual breakfast is a bowl of Rice Krispies with almond milk

So, accept her offer?

>>8991094
Internal kek

>>8988894
That's fine, i just want toast with peanut butter anyway.

>>8991089
>>8991030
Jim Carrey?

>>8988894
Eat her meat.

>>8989325
these fucking re-Pepe faces get me every fucking time man

Asker her to shit in my mouth and then kicker out of my place.