/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Look in my fridge and realize I'm fucked.

>>8922955
Russian dressing between two slices of bread
Or some funny version of that joke

>>8922958
I'm not sure there is a funny version of that joke, friend.

>>8922955

>get in car
>he's in the passenger seat
>order a McChicken for each of us, diet cokes for beverage
>he eats as he writes me a check
>we yuck it up on the way to the bank to cash it
>drop him off at his limo
>give him a gentle kiss on the neck and tug on his wrinkled sack

>>8922957
Fpbp. Best I could do is a blt with no mayo or lettuce.

>>8922955
Make him an scrambled egg sandwich with bleach mixed in.

>>8922955
>Toast a roll of ciabatta
>spread aioli and mustard on both sides
>thinly slice tomatoes, seitan and layer them, don't keep meat in the house but if I call it something like jasmine island veal puffajo de tomatilleaux nobody will know, he's the potus not the FDA
>roll the sides of the sandwich in sesame seeds
>press and broil, cuban-style, for 5 mins
>cross my fucking fingers

>>8922984
>seitan
>i don't keep meat in the house
Lmao, get out of here, silly vegan.

>>8922992
It's not vegan, it's sous vide rouge pomme chicken fillet or whatever you want I dunno

>>8923002
Tell me, why are your kind raiding /ck/? What are you hoping to gain? I understand vegans feel a desperate need to convert everyone, but there are better places than 4chan.

>>8923009
I'm here for breadmaking threads and mcchicken shitposting
>What are you hoping to gain?
Vegan gains, of course.

Piss in a glass and drink it. Ask him about his kids

This is the same man who likes a nice, ruined, well-done steak. Just burn something and he'll yum it up.

>>8922955
I'd make tacos.

>>8923048
this + ketchup on it.

>>8922955
An ice cream sandwich with 2 scoops and everyone else gets one (according to the Time Trump worshipping article.)

>>8922965
I fucking laughed

I pan-fry him a peanut butter and banana sandwich. He can have a glass of milk, too.

All I got is ham, pickles and kaiser rolls.

For a bit of irony, a Cuban sandwich.
Also because Cubans are fucking tasty.

>>8923140
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w80jZ0iru1k

>>8923158
How is that ironic

>>8922955
>make him a sandwich
>he says it's the greatest sandwich he's ever had and promises to send a check
>never sends a check and fucks me over like his contractors

Yeah, no thanks

>>8922955
take the opportunity to repill him on the wheatjew sandwich conspiracy

no need to thank me Mr. President

>>8922955
Get a McChicken™, the best sandwich there is. However, you must request that the illegal immigrant at the McDonald's™©® making the sandwich that they add the big Mac™®© sauce instead of ranch.

>Try to make him a Chacarero

I always win with that one.

>>8923170
Or

>writes you check
>bounces
>Russian bank impounds air force one

For Trump toast up a poptart, the best non meat sandwich

>>8923248
RADICAL SANDWICH ANARCHY

>>8923248
This ballsy motherfucker's gonna get the million bucks.

Trump has the palate of a child so I'd just make him a toasted pb&j and that'll do it.

>>8923165
because muh cuban illegals.

just serve him two scoops of ice cream

i start building a wall out of things from the kitchen. afterwards, i grab him by the pussy. he understands and just hands over the check of $1 mil.

>>8922955
Hmmmm.....I think just slamming the door in his fucking face is enough. He doesn't deserve a sandwich from me and I don't want his tainted money.

>>8923164
Boy this was a fantastic show

Man, who would have thought that /ck/ was so liberal that posting a Trump thread would trigger so many people.

>>8923396
It really was.

>>8923399
cooking (outside of professionals) is largely the domain of women and fags

is a hot dog a sandwich?

>>8922955
>>So Trump comes to your house, surrounded by secret service, etc.,

GODDAMN IT I'M A LEGAL CITIZEN HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SHOW YOU MY PAPERS! HERE! LOOK!

>>8923330
Cuba and Mexico are different countries...

>>8923448
Hehehehehe top KEEEEEK XDDD

>>8923455
Yes. That's why I said Cuban illegals. not Mexican illegals. We got a fuckload of illegals from cuba.

>>8923330
Are you retarded

lightly brown a couple slices of potato bread, two over-easy eggs, moderate pepper, el yucateco hotsauce on top.
That's the best I can do and it's still pretty good.

Say your word means nothing to me and ask why the sandwich with an already full mouth? https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_Rr0YLUwAEp8bv.jpg:large

>>8923466
does nobody here fucking understand that we have a shitload of cuban illegals

>>8922963
Drumpf already has a mouthful so why the sandwich? https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_Rr0YLUwAEp8bv.jpg:large

>>8923470
>posting a link to an image on an image board

>>8923477
Inside being this retarded.

>>8923470
>>8923477
not sure if this is the same guy posting links to images or just two equally retarded twats.

reach in my emergency mcchicken stash and present him the best fast food sandwich

>>8922955
>>8922955
I don't particularly hage trump. I think he is a sleazeball like all his predecessors. And i would love to pjck his brain. But in all reality i would stand shocked, then tell him to come back with a warrant.

>>8922955
I make my boy a 10 different meat sandwhich with some BBQ sauce and we'll have a beer with it. He can keep the money.

>>8923330
>

I burn a steak and char some bread, douse it in a1 sauce.

>>8923017

He asked for a sandwich not for you to drink your own piss

>>8923474
not everyone is from florida mang

>>8923395

You're genuinely retarded if you wouldn't sell your morals for a sum of cash that large.

>>8924273
Republicans: The Post, everybody.

Ice cream sandwich. With 2 scoops of ice cream.

>>8923477
>Drumpf

>>8923203
Since when do they add ranch? Have you ever even eaten a McChicken?

>>8923412
And probably fat people - so I guess the victimized fat-shamed crowd probably also hangs out on here. But yes, overall I completely agree that it's rather ridiculous.

Frozen white castle cheeseburgers ok mr president?

>>8922955
>Mister Trump why are you in my country?

Well i got some dark bread, cheese, ham and sweet mustard,this might work.

Proceed to share sandwichs with Trump while we watch my leftie roommate getting tasered by the security.

>>8923518
To come back with a warrant... Because he is offering you money for a sandwich?

>>8922955
I'd make a great grilled cheese with great American cheese and great American wonderbread.

It'll truly be the greatest sandwhich

>>8922955

Tell him to take a seat. Sneak out and buy him a firehouse sub

>>8922955
A pb and j sandwich on white bread.

>>8922955
Get two pieces of bread and slather then with mayonnaise, place both pieces of bread around my erect dick, and offer it to The President.

>>8924283
>Liberals: The Virtue Signalling Double Standard

>>8924352
You don't even know what virtue signalling is you retard.

>>8923248
I already told you! Poptarts are not sandwiches! You crayon eating bastard!

>>8924283
HAHAHA THEY'RE OUR RIVALS

>>8922955
don't make him shit, there's no way he's going to pay me even if the sandwich is awesome

motherfucker stiffs contractors all the time

>>8922955
Peppered turkey, Gouda, shredded iceburg lettuce, Branston pickle on a Kaiser roll and a side of tortilla chips with tobasco

>>8924635
you've cracked it! make a crayon sandwich,

I have exactly:
- A Quarter Loaf of Honey Whole Wheat Bread
- A Quarter Jar of Natural Crunchy Peanut Butter
- A Half Jar of Home-Made Fruit Preserves

So a PB&J I guess.

>>8922965

Back in high school a friend made me a Sammy. Was good.
>>slice of bread on top
>>mayo
>peanut butter
>>jelly
>>mayo
>>slice of bread on the bottom
Girl was fine and could make a Sammy. Would trust that Sammy for orange guy

My best bet with the current state of my fridge:
>egg salad w/ homemade mustard
>crumbled bacon
>home made orange jalapeno marmalade
>some nobbly heirloom tomato slices I got from the farmer's market
>home made sweet pickles
>home made pickled onions
>potato roll

This is the best I can do. The bacon was from a pig I had raised if that matters.

Knowing Trump...
Short notice...
Bust with the Steak-Umms
Overcook; onion, cheese, lettuce
Serve with ketchup and a smile.
And a fresh coca-cola.

Chicken breast slices
swiss cheese
sourdough
horseradish mustard

toast the bread, throw it in the oven to melt the cheese a bit. That's probably the best I've got right now.

>>8922955
Make the meatloaf sandwich according to his recipe and say "I only learned from the best. Make it $5 Million."

peanut butter on stale publix everything bread
now get out of my house before i call a priest

>>8922955
Herring salad on ezekiel bread

>mfw trump cuts me two checks
>trump signs an executive order saying i get free scoops for life
>we become gym bros
>tfw one day I die on the bench because he was grabbing cardio bunnies by the pussy instead of spotting me

Butter with chocolate sprinkles on both slices

>>8922955
Kick him out.

Report him to the IRS for tax fraud.

>>8922955
I'd put on some shitty post Farley SNL skits that butcher Trump material with Hackish writing and Russian jokes, then I would bake him a digornio.

>>8924826
>trump
>gym
Kek

>>8922955
make him the tastiest philly cheese steak he's ever eaten

https://www.eater.com/2017/5/11/15623056/trump-ice-cream-white-house
>Before he moved to Washington, Donald Trump loved to eat fast food and well-done steaks and burgers at high-end restaurants. Now that he’s President of the United States, Trump has to eat most of his meals at the White House, but thankfully for Donald, the kitchen indulges him a bit by serving extra portions of his favorite sweets and creamy condiments.

>The POTUS invited three Time reporters to spend a day at the White House on Monday, May 8, which culminated in a candlelit dinner in the Blue Room. The mag’s correspondents note that Trump was served what appeared to be Thousand Island dressing during the salad course while everyone else got a vinaigrette, and during the entree portion, the president received “an extra dish of sauce” with his chicken. Waiters brought Trump a Diet Coke while everyone else was offered water, and for dessert, he received a slice of chocolate pie with a double scoop of vanilla ice cream, while the rest of the guests only got one scoop.

>wheat bread
>cabbage cuts heated in a honey-sri racha mix
>bacon
>rehydrated nori

I eat this kind of stuff all the time.
It'll either repulse him or interest him, and in both cases I get a funny story.

>>8924919
I'm certain they keep dinosaur chicken tenders on hand now because of this mook.

>>8924919
>well-done steaks

>>8923486
It would terrify me if these were two different people because they're pretty much saying the exact same thing in very similar ways

>>8922955
Make him a chip butty. Now where's my £777484.07

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy0HncHOQe0

>>8923080
Well-done steak on white bread with ketchup

I get out the vanilla ice cream mayo cheddar cheese and rye bread and make him a ice cream sandwich he gets two scoops and the secret service only gets one

>>8922955
alright

i toast a burger bun in a frying pan

put on some feta cheese, beef jerky, sliced onion, a few drips of hot sauce and a shake of salt, pepper, and some chex mix

bone appe tite nigger

I've got no bread in the house, so I might as well spit in his face. Whatever assault charges I'd be faced with, would kinda be worth it, for being the guy who spit in Trump's face.

>>8925254
You could have at least made him a wrap.

>>8922955
make cucumber sandwiches and a pot of tea :3

>>8922955
>1 million dollars
"You have 'all the money in the world,' yet you come over here and stress me out and offer me a paltry MILLION? Fuck off back to the White House and get your own sandwich, faggot."

Give him a turd sandwich while pointing out that it's what he's been giving to his people since taking office.

>>8925311
Nice kimmo alm post.

>>8924265
Is there REALLY a difference?

>>8925391
>kimmo alm
Whoa, nostalgia bomb.

>>8922955
I'd tell him, "Look, I can't work miracles in ten minutes, but I'll make you an awesome one in thirty." See here: >>8912093

It may take a bit longer, actually, since he insists on well-done steak. My little toaster oven only gets these to rare in 20 minutes.

>>8922965
Burgers aren't sandwiches.

>>8922955

Invite him inside without the secret service and chop off both his arms with an axe and cauterize the wounds. Feed him a pbj sandwich and kick him in the head a couple times.

>>8922955
I whip out my dick and be like
>How about this Mr.President

>>8924273
You MUST be a Republican.
Somethings in life are way more important than money, son.

>>8924365
So you're also stupid?

>>8922955

>>8925721
you don't know what you've done, you fool

>>8922957
Literally this. I barely have food to feed myself.

I'm sorry, emperor Trump.

This thread is why I love his board and I've been here for 11 years.

>>8923399
/ck/ has a lot of /pol/ attitude and posting, it doesn't matter what board you're on: if you mention Trump people crawl out of the woodwork.

>>8922955
Give him a turd sandwich, just like he's given us.

>>8924745
Best answer so far

>>8923486
It's almost like shills are real or something

>>8925760
That makes no sense. Try again.

>>8925790
>shill
That word again, /ck/.

>>8922955
A knuckle sandwich, fuck Drumfpfpppfpf! I just wanna PUNCH a nazi in the FACE!

>>8925630
>t. poorfag

>>8925897
Nope.

>>8925910
You're confusing "nigger rich" with "rich," Anon. Although that is a nice stack of singles with a couple of $50's wrapped around it.

>>8925863
>t. Shill

>>8922955
Uh, i think i still have some peanut butter around here; how about a toasted peanut butter and banana sandwich?

>>8924919
See liberals should stop worrying about his impeachment, his diabetes is what's gonna take care of him.

>>8925910
Now where's the monopoly board to go with the stack under the top two 50's?

>>8925910
>monopoly money

>>8925918
>gets pranked by monopoly money

>>8925047
sounds comfy af

>>8922955
Tell him I don't want to get tied up in Russian money laundering since he obviously doesn't have money on his own to be throwing around like that

>>8924351
>donny puts your dick in his mouth
>bites as hard as humanly possible
What now famalam

>>8925721
Fuck off

Reply to this post if you want Drumpf impeached.

>>8923399
It isn't even really a Trump thread. We had similar threads during the Obama administration.

>>8922955
>Take bread
>Take nutella
>Combine

Honestly, cum is the secret ingredient. Not even meming. If you put if in the fridge and let it cool down a bit, it's fucking amazing with bread and olives.

I have peanut butter and seedless blackberry jam.

How fucked am I.

>>8926775
Add some manly seeds to the blackberry jelly and he'll be happy ;)

>>8922955
Go into my fridge and procure a McChicken, the best kind of chicken sandwich.

>>8925561
>burgers aren't sandwiches.

>explicitly stated that he would get a mcchicken

are u retarded brother

PAN

NICE AND HOT

>>8926919

Just like your mum.

>>8926909

Why did u tayke the bayte?

>all of these violent, sadistic lefties

please make it less obvious that you are a warped individual who belongs in kook jail. you look like Sonic roleplayers.

anyway, start with grey poupon with rosemary atop toasted 21 grain bread. black forest ham, kumato slices, and hide feta nuggets under a leaf of lettuce. light layer of mayo on the upper slice. that's all got.

Lasanga

>>8926932
Drumpfcuck detected. Don't you have a Drumpf worship ceremony to attend somewhere?

>>8927772
Don't you have a child to beat because you saw it glance at a trump poster?

>8922955

>>order a McChicken for each of us, diet cokes for beverage

Order a McDouble. 20 cents cheaper.