/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>tfw your crab doesn't want to share spaghetti with you

>>8857053
Cute as fuck tbqh

>>8857066
exactly what i thought

>>8857098
Perfecto

>>8857087
the chinese should not be allowed to stay on this planet

>>8857066
right in the feels

>>8857124
It's fingering the poo :3

does it count as plating if there isn't a plate?

>>8857136
"No. Take it back and put it on a plate. I don't care what the """""chef""""" says."

>>8857105
is this some sort of art project?

>>8857139
Maybe applebees is more to your liking pleb

I hate it when people and restaurants try to be that pretentious with food. It's a fucking piece of meat and salad, not some hipster art project.

>>8857180
try to keep up luddite. lemme guess, you use paper plates?

I hate how this is a thing now. I'm starting to see this stupid cake on a cup bullshit in my city. Completely dumb.

>>8857157

Are they serving what I assume is someone's interpretation of what food is on a fucking tablet?

>>8857192
yes

shart

>>8857139
>mere seconds later:
>i'm sorry you don't appreciate our efforts
>perhaps you'd be moreat home at the restaurant across the street
>well get your coat out
The restaurant decides what they offer you and how. You're not paying to get your way - you're paying to sample their selection, ye of little restaurant experience.

>>8857189

>eating cake hands free
>dumb

Get out

>>8857205

Not only tablets, but artificially overpriced tablets at that. Is this it? Have we reached peak decadence?

>in this little glass slate there's more complicated electronics and processing power orders of magnitude higher than what we used to pilot the tin can that put people on the fucking moon
>lets have it show pretty pictures while people eat pretentious food off of the front of it.

>>8857214
a) the customer is always right
b) enjoy your bad yelp review
c) enjoy never getting a dime from me or my family again because you choose to serve your food like a braindead moron

>>8857235
>a) the customer is always right
HA!
b) enjoy your bad yelp review
Please, nigga. Your thoroughly autism-reeking 'they refused to replate my food the way I wanted it' would be glossed over and no-one would care. Out the door you go!
>c) enjoy never getting a dime from me or my family again
imfinewiththis.jpg

Please deflate your sense of self-importance.

>>8857233

Okay no, peak decadence would be:

>restuarant with a single table on a stage
>a poor family is brought in
>diners then negotiate with family to purchase one of the family members
>said purchased person is killed, butchered, and prepared as a five course meal for the diners

>>8857185
Is that a glass of gravy? If so I'm in.

>>8857249
and you eat each course on a freshly washed ipad

>>8857238
>defending serving a meal on a folded up tablecloth
kys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BfahbXepYs

OP reminds me of this abomination

>>8857105
>that filename
toppukekku

>>8857185
Uh, what is in the glass?

>>8857588

watered down bbq sauce with ice

>>8857235
>the customer is always right

Hahaha, that's great. Tbh I'm with you when it comes to pretentious plating, but the customer is always right? That's some stupid entitlement bullshit that people repeat to justify why they're acting like spoiled brats.

It's your right as a customer to choose where you go. It is not your right as customer to dictate to a restaraunt owner how they should serve their food. If you don't like how they serve their food, go somewhere else.

>>8857273
Nice strawman. I'm not. I think it's redonkulous, but here's the kicker: Don't like it, don't go there.
Don't go anyway, complain you don't like what they do and demand they change it just for you. Know your fucking place in the world - hint: you're not king of it - and go to restaurants you like rather than demand everyone should cater to your autismal whims.

if i owned a restaurant, id serve heart attack inducing hamburgers that are served on a mirror.
that way you can see yourself eat the hamburger and see the kind of fat fuck you truly are.

>>8857308
Crab a la bubble bath

bmup

>>8857692
kill yourself

>>8857189
>red velvet
Fucking cum everywhere

>>8857609
>t. Napkin plater aficionado

>>8857745
>i have no argument so i will reject your reality and substitute my own
>t. entitled manchild

>>8857053
This board.

>>8857053
Literally any. One of the most pointless things out there.

>>8857778
Plating rarely matters in home cooking but it does in an actually decent restaurant

>>8857778
>it is pointless to put your food on a plate

r8

anything from chick fil a

>>8857776
>>8857778
Both you faggots blew it.

>>8857884
would poke awkwardly with butter knife to see if it was alive

>>8857235
>This is the war cry of a Numale

>>8857066
>tfw your spaghetti dosnt want to share its crabs with you

>>8857053
actually kek'd out loud. that's the most ridiculous thing i've seen

>>8857105
Deconstructed hotdog. Glazed wiener suspension, tomato catsup and mustard foam, cryogenic pickle relish julienne, toasted brioche tower, dwarf basil greens.

>>8858024
>tfw I don't have crabs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbvbF0L9tJg

>>8857066
>tfw crab has BIG. MEATY. CLAWS.

>>8857884
>people reserve tables months in advance and pay several hundred dollars for this

jesus jumpjacking christ

>>8857884
what is it

>>8857884
is the reason why you made a whole tread to complain about chopping spring onions?

>>8858673
'this

>>8857066
Duh. He's shellfish.

>>8858692

This sandwich was pretty good but it pisses me off when they put chips in those basket things, they get cold really quickly.

>>8858692

>>8858717
>food served on a plank or cutting board or slate
nope, take it back, bring it back on a plate or leave it back there and I'll leave

>>8857105
>>8858154
But why

>>8858738
yada yada reddit

>>8857087
god that would feel good in my vagina

This was a home made pasta dish i made but i didnt expect the pasta to close when i cook it

>>8858760

>>8858760
Easily the least disgusting thing to go up there no doubt.

>>8858807
>pasta and greens
What's wrong with you

>>8858822 not my proudest moment it wasnt as filling alone so i add it. It was easy to eat even tho the fiber were barely cooked by the sauce i made but it only took one palte to make me full thank god i though it out once i was done i learn my lesson after that

>>8858692

>>8857208
BRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFF

>>8857053

If the crab was alive it could snip the spaghetti into more manageable lengths with its pincers.

>>8859391
Based crabbro

>>8859280
Based brap poster

>>8858154

>Glazed wiener suspension
What a time to be alive!

I think the thing on the hotdog is a mouse corpse

>>8858531

We walked in off the street and paid
50 Euros for 11 courses you dumb bitch

>>8858738
worked at a place that did this, burgers and pizzas on wooden board massive steak knife in burger, makes it so much harder to clear tables and wash, no point to it customers don't give a shit about the wooden board gimmick they get annoyed because shit's more likely to fall on the table and them

>>8858692
ENOUGH

>>8857770
you're defending a piece of shit. You're the one using the strawman by ignoring the obvious digusting "plating" and instead making the arguemnt about the rights of the restaurant owners. Go fuck yourself.

>>8859619
>JUST fuck my shit up: The Meal

Incorporating foot faggotry into your meal the best way possible. With stinky meatballs.

>>8859619
I wonder if there was any inspiration in this, or if it was a long night

>>8859616
What's with people and hotdogs? They seem to be a target for plating tomfoolery

Apprehensive, curious
These are the words that describe my feelings about pic related

>>8857884
pls waht isi t

>>8859710
would you say it seemed fishy, anon?

>>8859706
Regardless of style, that is some pretty competent knifework right there. Look at how regular the arms are cut.

>>8859947

>>8859668
>waaah waaah why don't they do everything I say? Im PAYING them

>>8857599
Urgh...I'm sorry I asked

>>8857208
GOTTA GO FAST

>>8857222
>this
>being eaten handfree

>>8859710
It's just a bad photo

>>8857235
this is the kind of retardation i come here for, thanks

>>8860010
huh? what is wrong with this guy

t. pathetic server confirmed.

>>8858717

more air circulation = less moisture = more crispy chips

>>8860168
I'd love to prepare this arrangement but I'm not sure what to do with the rest of my transformers shaped spaghettios after opening the can.

>>8858717
Where is that?

>>8857185
>luddite
Says you, you're using the term incorrectly. It can only be applied to a phobia of technology.

>>8860288
That's SpongeBob you fool

>>8857770
>I get my rhetoric from MythBusters
KYS

>>8858820
Savage

>>8857265

>Freshly washed

No no, new from the box. And they dont wash them after, they're just thrown away.

>>8857053
This is the worst intentional food preparation known to man, even worse than hákarl.

>>8857098
WA-LA

>>8857235
>b) enjoy your bad yelp review
I think it's dumb as well, but could you at least do your best to not out yourself as a passive-aggressive numale

>>8859706
>total nutrition center

>>8857605
I always chuckle how plebs think business is run

>>8860456
>hákarl

smells horrible but good god is it delicious

>>8857053
Practically any. If it's supposed to be ""art""" it's fucking retarded. All it is is a scam to charge more for less food and muh art. Perfect scam though as try hards love it.

grant achatz is a faggot

>>8860456
>Thumbnail

An empty bread bowl?

>Filename, expand

>>8858717
Is this at a pub called Lakers?

>>8860456
Have you ever tried it though? I was skeptical too, but it surprised me. Obviously you must have an "open mind". Eat it with a strong wine (Sardinian Cannonau would be perfect), it's almost a psychedelic experience

>>8857136
This makes me upset

>>8860604
Mhm, yummy maggot cheese.

>>8860653
Is it really worth it?

>>8860674
Only if you like very strong and spicy flavours, and you have a lot of red wine. It's one of those things that you can only love or throw up

>>8860724
WHERE IS THE FUCKING SAUSAGE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>8860997
Turkey hotdog

>>8857222
>bite into cake
>it splits lengthways because of straw
>cake is on ground/floor

>>8858700
>>8858736
>>8859260
>>8859666

>>8861171
I want to PET that kitty

>>8861171
fur fuck sake

>>8858717
Is that in Australia?

>>8857053

I would eat the shit out of that on a weekly basis

>>8860062
>t.

The cardinal sin of plating pasta: Not mixing the pasta with the sauce prior to serving

Triggers me

>>8861716
I don't get that, I don't mind a few bites of unsauced pasta, because it can have a nice taste on it's own.

>>8861836
>this is what white people actually believe

>>8860293
>>8860632
>>8861656

It's a pub in Brisbane, Australia called The Normanby Hotel.

>>8861836
hello autist

>>8861954
I think fresh pasta can have a nice flavor to it. It's obviously not the same with dry pasta.

Eggnoodles can also have a taste to them, though more subtle.

>>8861171
Purrfect

>>8857098
That is cat food, sir.

>>8858807
yeah that happened because you overcooked the shit out of it

>>8857123
this isn't okay, somebody has to die over this, somebody has to leave the face of this Earth.

>>8859706

This is obviously a kids plate at a restaurant. hot dogs and mac and cheese are an easy-way-out for some parents, and this is just having some fun with it.

If it's not, then... that's just ridiculous.

>guy fieri will never dump a load of trash can nachos on me

>>8859713

mole, avocado and pistachio

>>8862410
It's a can of refried beans

>>8858717
HOW IS THE KNIFE IN THE BACKGROUND STANDING!?!

>>8862980
Stabbed into the chopping board.

>>8862459
Why the fuck would there be a vitamix on a goddamned restaurant table?

That's some chucklefuck's kitchen counter, you dip.

>>8862994
Oh.

>>8859697
looks like hushpuppies in a shoe. hush puppies is also a brand of shoes.

>>8857189
I have seen it done with donuts but it makes sense since the donut has a whole the straw goes through, but a cake is a little to much.

>>8857884
Looks like every ingredient comes out of the same pond.

>>8863039
Can you think of any other foods that also share their name with a shoe?

>>8863071
>the donut has a whole the straw goes through

jfc... the illiteracy I'm witnessing on /ck/ has gotten to mind-numbing proportions.

Read your fucking text before you post it, retards. Just once! Just read it once...

>>8860456
enjoy your worms

>>8863087
no

>>8857053
gross
that is G R O S S

>>8857136
That's neat, it's already off the plate so it's easier to throw away.

>>8863087
>... he says, abusing ellipses and failing to punctuate or capitalize his post properly.

>>8863082
blowfish
jellypop
margaritaville

>>8862980
Lrn2perspective

It's a smaller knife stabbed into the big knife.

>>8860724
that non-uniform large tomato/onion chunks are a real turnoff

>>8857053
isn't that a stone crab? it's illegal in florida to take anything other than 1 or 2 claws. always wondered if the body tastes good.

>>8857189

Stupid as fuck.

I can just imagine a kid in the backseat with it.

>>8862410
refried beans my dude.

>>8861171
Kitty is CUTE!

>>8863082
bolillos

>>8860997
Oh that? They just shove that right up your asshole while they work on plating the rest of it.

>>8857053
Not so much the plating, but whenever I go to IHOP the way the hash browns are formed is just depressing. Even worse is that apparently this is a per-restaurant thing so only some of them do this shit.

>>8860724
YOU FUCKING IDIOT IT'S SITTING ON TOP OF THE SAUCE
THE FUCKING BUNS ARE GOING TO BE WET AND SLIPPY WHEN THE GUY PICKS IT UP
YOU SHOULD'VE DRIZZLED IT AROUND THE BUNS
AROUND THE FUCKING BUNS

>>8858848
Random gibberish guy is that you?

>>8857884
>moldy pickle with sauce

>>8858692

>>8857123
>One upsidedown
My fucking sides

>>8860524
Considering unreasonable customers are almost always told to fuck off in all 4 of the restaurants I've worked at (3 being very successful ones) you may be the pleb

>>8863014
Still stands that it's almost certainly for a child.

>>8858664
plant

>>8858692

>>8857887
>>8857889
Both you faggots blew it.

>>8860088
Moving air on the fries = cold fries

>>8857235
WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

>>8857123
Man, those hotdogs aren't even grilled.

>>8857136
>liquid items are touching the towel
>they're being absorbed.
Why?

>>8857884
It looks like a nudibranch

>>8858692

>>8859947
There's a tool that does this. They used to have infomercials about it.

>>8857884
Sprouted spring onion and a partly grated pickled cucubmber?

>>8864102
A sausage octopus cutting tool? Where can I get that?

>>8864121
It was called the octodog but all the links I can find about it are like ten years old.

>>8857053
jkgyhgjhdr

>>8864161
Jesus fuck. Wanted to show a friend the blocked IP range message and then it decided to post fml

>>8858692

>>8859671
That's not a meal, that's a cocktail.

>>8858692
>>8857066

>>8857235
lol fag

>>8857273
>>thinks he should be able to walk into any restaurant and get mommy-style tendies
>>tells other people to kill themselves

Look inward, young one.

>>8857538
diarrhea?

>>8863635
Epic

>>8858738
Thinking any one cares if you stay.

>>8859947
They have little tools specifically to make octodogs.

>>8861115
He's hiding because he knows he sucks.

>>8861171
Oooo hello there

>>8862622
lol wtf

>>8858717
what is the fucking deal with those fries-baskets
they are popping up fucking everywhere

>>8864476
They're potato jails. They're popping up everywhere because they didn't have opportunities when they were spuds.

>>8857588

probably a version of a bloody mary

>>8861115

>>8864508
kek

>>8857123
That hot dog isn't even cooked. It looks cold. And what a waste of potato chips. What ARE those little circles off to the left anyway?

>>8857137
That branch is what lets them charge $50 for $2 worth of ingredients.

>>8860451
its still bullshit, you shill fuck.

>>8864535
Mayo with rosemary for some fucked up reason?

>>8864491
The potato was just getting its life together, it was an honor potato and sang in the potato choir

>>8857205

>Dogs.

Haram. Lost my appetite.

>>8863810
I don't think that anon you replied to was disagreeing.

I support a business telling a customer to go stuff it if they're being rude/disruptive/unreasonable. I'm guessing that may be easier to do with non-chain places.

>>8863082
Ciabatta

>>8857124
what am I looking at

>>8857205
Is that lichen or whatever part of the dish?

>>8857884
This is fine.

>>8857136
Jesus christ why the fuck would you even go there?
>its fir the taste you uncultured flyover
No dude fuck you, i live in seattle and this is retarded. I wish i though of slinging wheat thins, black shit and arugala for $16

>>8865410
Why does it matter where you live?

>>8861974
>autist
>wants his food to not be completely uniform
yo wut?

>>8865837
So, what's wrong with that one? Looks decent to me, not the best but definitely not the worst out there.

>>8858692
>he

>>8865410
None of that is arugula you pleb

>>8857189
>putting your food on the thing that the greasy hand of some wageslave slaps onto your cup
>someone would probably lick the icing off as well

>>8858822
Would have been okay if the spinach was cooked with the sauce.

>>8857588
bloody mary

>>8857185

throw some cheese and a pickle on that and i'd eat/drink the fuck out of it

>>8859589
>>8858154
>>8857105
But what is the hotdog suspended in? Jellified water?

>>8857157
I don't even know what they sell at Applebees and I'm already sure it tastes better than this pretentious bullshit.

>>8857189
is that thing sold as a "cupcake"?

>>8857053
Spaghetti fell out of the crab's pockets.

>>8860168
>those 2 spongebob pasta pieces

>>8859619
Yo, gimme some beers but make em really complicated.

Say no more, senpai

>>8860288
>>8860168
this reminds me
>bought a box of REGULAR mac n cheese
>came with Transformer shapes and no cheese
i was so mad that i made Transformers with butter just to spite them

>>8857053

>>8867006

Uhhh. What is this?

>>8866084
aspic

>>8867038
Some kinda caprese?

Just about every pic itt is taken from >>>r/wewantplates

>>8867300
I like that sub and visit it daily and don't see anything in this thread from that sub

>>8857249
peak decadence would be to randomly select a GUEST to be eaten. russian roulette that you pay for.

>>8859617
That's really cheap for so many courses. Where was it?

>>8867307

I've seen the following on r/wewantplates:

>>8857136
>>8857157
>>8857185
>>8857189
>>8857205

>>8861139
> drink the remaining gloop while crying unashamedly
> get diabeetus anyway

>>8858822
...is pasta not supposed to go with greens? I like a nice bit of spinach with mine. Is that... wrong? I've never heard of that being a problem.
Fuck it. I'm gonna keep eating it like that you can't stop me

>>8867354
>5 posts
>two of the same thing
>this 250 comment thread is all from /r/wewantplates
Come on kid.

>>8867349

hoja santa in barcelona.

the tasting menu is 110 euros which we couldn't afford so we gave them a budget (and i said i wanted to try a mole) and they put together a new one for us. really good, very small bites though.

>>8857136
This shit is the sign that the food will be bad. Pretentious plating hardly ever means what your eating is good. It may be different and something you've never experienced before, but you probably won't ever think about doing it again. Especially since this """"""plate""""" costs you probably around $14. Through learning about ingredients, seeding, farming, crop breeding, animal husbandry, and low country cooking, I can tell you that the only thing that matters in your food is what you put in it. Beauty doesn't make a lasting impression.

Plating it on a napkin shows me that they're over compensating for something, or their trying to be like that one restaurant run by the guy who had a Chef's table episode where everything is a gastrophysics experiment. Being quirky for the sake of quirky makes you the Zooey Deschanel of foods. Fun to look at, but lacking in any real substance.

>>8867569

there's nothing wrong with it, pasta is delicious with greens. there's always a sperg out there who is arbitrarily intolerant of any given thing you might like anon.

>>8867011
Blue Broccoli and Green Cauliflower? The fuck.

>>8867616
>everything I don't like is autism

Why are you insulting the one part of autism that creates people far more intelligent, quiet and tolerant than you with an accusation you pulled out of your ass?
Actual spergs don't give a fuck what you eat, take my word shitlord before getting mouth raped by the very retards you're insulting again.

>>8867680
>t. autism

>>8864357
I think it's a frog.

>>8860168
was listening to Ocean Man when I saw this
i fucking love life and everything it has to offer, even world war 3

Authentic Italian pizza is the bes-

>>8867684
>admit you have autism
>get called autistic

Are you fucking deaf? Go piss on another board, twit.

>>8867695
You're just proving my point.

>>8857205
>be a hackman
>hack the tablets
>put in a video of "blowfly infestation"
>???
>profit

>>8861171
Fuck this made my really miss my cat I left at my mums for the first time in 5 months. Fuck no pet rules.

>>8858692

reddit tier pun fuck off

>>8857538

Is it a human hand?

>>8857205
>>8864955
I thought they were goats, and the food was supposed to represent goat turds.

>>8857123
>>8857105
The plating is beautiful, though.

>>8867704
It looks pretty, but not appetizing.

>>8864537
And you don't even get to take the branch.

>>8867693
What the fuck is going on there

>>8867354
posting things from reddit is a trap to catch reddit users like yourself

>>8857235
flyover/10, I would be surprised if you have ever been to an actual restaurant, and not just your local steakhouse/"Italian" joint.

the customer, by the way, is literally never right.

>>8861995
yeah thts awful

>>8867680

>everything i don't like is autism

how the fuck did you get that from my post? that's the complete opposite of what i was saying. stop getting mad at me and go yell at your parents for vaccinating you as a child.

>>8867833
Yes, that's exactly what you said.

>>8857053
Literally a bug from the sea

>>8858692

>>8858760

>>8857123
>This picture is taken at a resturant.
>Somebody unironically made this.

>>8857053
Jesus, this thread.
I think out of all the boards on this site, /ck/ has the potential to offend me the most.

>>8858692
DELET

>>8861171
Serve his food in a really fucking pretentious way and make him appreciate it. Record it and show it to us

>>8867038
>>8867107
fresh mozzarella with some tomato based salad. Absolutely high tier starter, and I dont think theres anything wrong with that plating

>>8861139
This.

>>8867778
Looks like some sort of piss poor attempt at a Four Seasons pizza based on the layout of the toppings.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_quattro_stagioni

>>8867704

>>8867668
Tried colored cauliflower and some lame ass ham

>>8868235
You must have shit tier standards. That sloppy mess would never hit the table at my place. What the fuck is going on with that balsamic mayo shit?

>>8868376
> Tri-colored

>>8868453

fucking feminists

>>8857189
too much sugar

>>8868453
Bloody yeast infection, for when you need iron and a vitamin B boost in the same meal.

>>8865843
Nothing, it's bait

>>8865843
the egg is horribly overcooked but that's not really a plating issue, i suppose

>>8868825
>the egg is horribly overcooked
You mean the egg with the runny yolk? Lol.

>>8868825
>Hes one of those weirdos that think sunny side up means that the egg should have zero flavor and just look pretty for pictures

Step your game up to the proper way to do sunny side up
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2016/06/crispy-fried-eggs-recipe.html

>>8860456
Hey, do you think we can get this spoiled milk to rot even more?

>>8857105
>suspension

That's a tireme you plebe

>>8865837
>>8868825
>>8869106
This depends too much on taste, there isn't a "right way" in this regard.

It's obvious the egg was fried in high heat, for a small time; some people like it that way, so the white gets crispy and the yolk is still runny. I personally like both well-cooked, but not crispy, but I don't see anything "bad" with it.