/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>8817354
My alltime fav: people drinking full glasses of water compilation

>>8817354
Do Americans really eat this?

>>8817378
No. It's from an SNL
you know what fuck you

>>8817397
This cakes look like shit.

>>8817381

>>8817378
We eat similar things yea, but we never go beyond two layers. The gloopy cheese and deep fried gordita pita is spot on. Then for the second course we'll have pizza hut pizzas.

I have a high metabolism though, and my fitness app tells me I need more calories and fat in my diet due to the physical activity I do at work, so sometimes I have to force myself to pig out on cheesy buttery things. This balances out the 240% in sugary carbs I eat in the morning like sugars and those complete peanut butter cookies. I never fluctuate past 130 pounds anyway on my fruit diet, so when I'm stoned I can eat whatever the hell I want.

>>8817407
i meant to say that I eat donuts for breakfast, not that it matters really

>>8817397
First few looked like gaudy garbage. Some of the later ones were alright

>>8817357
My nigga

>>8817370
I'd last 30 seconds at this job,before becoming a double amputee.

>>8817642
Why is my food running away

>>8817406
>>8817357
>>8817642
I don't even

>>8817652

>>8817667
what is this?

>>8817642
no thanks im not hungry

>>8817744
mushrooms with shit piled on top I think

just remember

if we have the capacity to design and program one of these systems for livestock, we have that same capacity for humans

stay safe in the future

>>8817357
i fuckin love water

>>8817370
fuck pigs

>>8817860
what on fucking earth
>cooking prosciutto
is this a parody of Tasty?

>>8817370
Do the saws that jam when they detect flesh work on dead meat?

>>8818031
No, they jam because there's an electrical signal and I don't think dead pigs have that

>>8817397
Got a partial for that

>>8818031
>>8818041
I thought it was moisture

>>8818041
The ones that Ive seen work by running a small current through the blade and jamming when they detect a change in that current, i.e. the blade has come into a contact with a conductive material, like flesh. Most demos you find on youtube are shown being tested on hotdogs.

>>8817758
Lol'd at your nonchalance

>>8817642
... I'm not sure if that is a snake or eel.

>>8817642
is it actually alive or just doing that thing where it writhes liek crazy long after death and also while it boils?

>>8817912
I need to marry her. She can eat like a king and remains skinny as a princess.

>>8817526
>that rusty old mandolin
>that bubbling oil right behind him
>that no gloved mandolin usage

>>8818191
it's moving around from the heat, it's dead.

>>8817652
I laughed way to hard at this.

>>8818075
Nice!

>>8818206
She would destroy your toilet every night.

>>8818351
As long as she remains thin and eats that much I'm all good. She can use the first floor restroom.

>>8817912
She died of sodium poisoning not long after.

>>8817912
This bitch is going to shit the largest Big Mac Hotpocket EVER!!!

>>8817774
I saw something simular on a UFO when i was a youth but with humans. I fucking shit you not.

>>8818468
So, uh. Sauce?

>>8818496
Cream i think.

>>8818491
You're thinking of the game Prey

>>8818499

>>8817912
I would've paid to be a fly on the wall when she dropped a huge dump after that

>>8818501
Funny you say this, i have a friend who has had some shit happen to him too and when i told him about my experiances he said the same thing about pray, it sounded like a good game but looks like a doom rip off.

>>8818511
Gigalo here, I've been paid to eat shit out of fat womans arsehole. Not as good as you think.

That scene from south park when Cartman is glued to WOW is more like it.

>>8817406
is that guy a homosexual at all?
if not, that stuff must have tasted really bad

>>8818488
This looks like it been photoshopped, how is it possible to suck up them things like that?

>>8818421
oh good, nothing I like more than people touching my ice with their hands

>>8818534
>paid to eat shit
how much?

>>8818578
£200 pounds per pop (poop)

>>8818583
You only really get ill from eating your own shit than eating other peoples. I tend to starve myself beforehand as that way it makes it a little more palatable.

It's the lawyer/doctor types who like to do this for some reason.

I have a few school teachers who ask for me to piss on there tits.

>>8818073
Then you could never cut anything that needed blade coolant

>>8818078
That seems like it would trigger on dead flesh

>>8818539
look close to her mouth, piece of that shit is stretched out like a string

>>8818407
Even tho it is not pure, I like the water on the right side. I would drink it any time.

>>8818799
>I would drink it any time

https://youtu.be/agQpK6H3LP8?t=159

>>8818421
Clear, frozen water is the 2nd best kind of water.

>>8818432
A lot of work for a simple drink. This shit better tastes like heaven.

>>8817852
nigger

>>8817860
that is a fucking disgrace

>>8818447
poor clear, stuffed ball of ice
getting smashed like that
brutal af

>>8817860
why wouldn't you just make a Bloody Mary and eat the grilled cheese sandwiches?

what the fuck is wrong with you yank cunts

>>8818440
nice
saw something new

>>8818468
>>8818488

Yuck!

>>8818184
Eel, it has a tailfin

>>8818314
Is that skin used for anything?

>>8818801
WHAT THE FUCK

>>8818854
Keeping that fishes gut in place

>>8818912
Did they really put kraft slices on it?

>>8818969
have fun cleaning that up, lol.

>>8818969
Do people really find this funny?

>>8819000
I find the fact that he repeatedly got food poisoning for weeks afterwards pretty funny.
Otherwise, no.

>>8819000
it's just a 12year old kid trying to be funny
or it is a fat ameritard
but then again
most of the time there is not much difference regarding intellectual levels

>>8818075
What the fuck is that slop?

>>8818534
>>8818583

>>8817397
the first one looks like lady dialla's head

>>8818421
Jesus Christ, Favreau. It's just ice.

>>8819006
>I find the fact that he repeatedly got food poisoning for weeks afterwards pretty funny.
source

>>8818814
I've seen it before, it's not new.

>>8819058
It was an assumption. I mean he smeared raw chicken over 50 square feet of his house.
And he's obviously in america, where sub par meat and eggs are king, so I can safely assume he got sick.

>>8819069
Could be abandoned, works in construction and was doing an entire tear out of the kitchen, etc.

>>8819075
Maybe but that doesn't change the fact that he's a wasteful dumbass that only cares about youtube bux.

>>8819069
>not knowing he's Aussie
>not knowing he's made literally thousands of youtube videos of him making "Tutorials" like this

>>8819006
>laughing over something you assumed

I bet you have a woman and friends yeah?

>>8818846
Source on this shit
Was this ever a thing?

>>8819213
It's from a Japanese movie, Tampopo. What do you mean if it was ever a thing?

>>8818191
>doesn't have a head
>is it alive?
meat comes from the store, right?

>>8818964

Where is this from?

>>8819247
I didn't think Paki's ate shellfish or is that kikes?

>>8817642
brushie brushie brushie

>i just wanted a bottle of wine christ

>>8819316
>went to the local
>it's now a wetherspoons
>See this behind the bar
>christ
>"pint of mild please Jack"
>"one eighty four please aurther"
>sit down
>read menu
>Thurday night is American menu
>Buffalo wings
>pulled pork
>burbon glazed wings
>bud light
>leave half my pint
>go home to budgie

>>8819069
>And he's obviously in america, where sub par meat and eggs are king

You cannot get meat and eggs the quality that I can get in about 10 different locations in a 10km radius from my house.

>b-but your eggs

I buy free range cruelty free organic hippie brown eggs that are better than your country's, because mine were laid by American hens which are better.

Enjoy that horse meat. We don't eat horse btw. Not considered a palatable meat.

>>8817370
these people usually get paid a fixed amount "per pig", meaning the faster they work the more money they get. they don't have to cut this fast, at least where i live. if you work this fast you can actually make LOTS of money. this video is sped up though

>>8817912

Then she stood up and revealed she was really a centaur.

>>8819943
I'm a pig cutter up 'er. It's not price work it more of a hip-hop kinda free style expressionism.

Who can slam that piggy the fastest and best.

Everytime i finish the last hoof i do a little spin in my head and inverted nazi symbol with my arms.

I get paid a $379,000 per year if you're intrestested

>>8819976
i do a little spin on* my head

>>8818075
almost unpleasant

>>8818425
>first part
>well, the bun is soared pretty badly but looks tasty in general

>second part
>what's that, some weird fries serving?
>wait why are you putting that in the sandwich, that's overdoing it

>webm doesn't stop there
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>8818854
This clip is so fuckin boring.

>>8818807

it's just infusing a bunch of different drugs into the drink, I don't think the taste matters

>>8818491
Ever consider you might have been abducted to a meat processing facility and not a UFO?

>>8818539
its in reverse, moron

>>8818421
Is it just me, or does this seem objectively worse than just using a mold and a freezer?

>>8818912
I'm so confused by this. Why would anyone need a lesson on how to make a basic af burger? Why would you want to hold 2 greasy ass patties like that? Who is this for?

>>8820126
Meat processing facilites normally process Animals not Humans and are not usually occupied by wierd looking non human sentinal types (i think/hope).

It was real and i still wake up screaming now (sad to admit i wet the bed often too).

>>8820139
I didn't think anyone would bite but Anon well done.

>moron

INB4 hurr i was just joking, troll trolling troll.

meat saw
>hard edition

>>8818447

how many glasses do those fucks break when making those?

and wtf is the point?

>>8820233
What the actual fuck.

No gloves or hair net.

Reminder not to eat halal, that paki most probaly had his finger up a childs ass before doing this.

>>8820268
I was going to post the exact same thing.
Fuck halal

>>8820310
The kid ass fingering too?

>>8819248
Koufuku Graffiti

>>8817662
>Don't even have a head anymore
Fucking zombie fish.

>>8819040
I hate when that happens. I wonder if there is a blender with a perfect lid out there.

>>8818314
It's fucking huge. What fish is that.

>>8818421
pointless.

>>8820418
Not a fish expert but i'm guessing at tuna

>>8820525
I've seen some big ass tuna before, but that trumps everything I've seen before

>>8819007

>>8820233
RIP to pajeets fingers

>>8820694
You do realise by sourcing, saving and posting that image every time you don't care, that you actually do care what "Eurofags" think?

If you didn't you wouldn't be bothered to post it.

The image is self contradictionary, you get that right?

Just saying.

>>8819007
Did you not know he was an ausfag, anon?

>>8820909
Calm down burgerfat

>>8820944
>calm down followed by a Derogatory comment

>burgerfat

Do you even know what side of the arguement you're on? Do you even know what you're talking about because i don't. Explain.

>>8820909
you're drunk.

>>8818210

>he's never had 3rd world potato chips

It's the danger that makes them so tasty

>>8818468

This board is turning me into a degenerate feeder fetishist

>>8819064
Old to you =/= old to everyone, you shit.

>>8817370
I'm a butcher myself and that guy has lost all respect for the bandsaw. Complacency is a killer

>>8817682
Learn2scissors! Fuckin hell!

>>8818807
It won't, but it'll cost 30$.

why are eclairs so lewd?

>>8820155
The text in the beginning is written in anime so i assume it's for japanese people.

>>8820789
Looks like that cheddar was too sharp

>>8820216

>>8818496
alura jenson

Eat

>>8820197
draw pic of the ayy lmaos

>>8822099
Drink

>>8822179
Man0

>>8822180
Woman

>>8817444
They don't employ women

>>8820043
>>8818425
it's bad enough that a fucking terrorist is make the food.

>>8820258
>and wtf is the point?
impress the guest. Usually not the person who order, but the bitch he wants to fuck tonight.

>>8817357

I actually drank some water just recently

>>8819007
obsessed

>>8822887
obese

>>8818813
Im still on the fence about "do americans really do this?" is just a meme or if anyone is really asking that. Are you an actual child? If I posted a webm of a guy making a sandwich out of wood and ketchup would you ask if americans really do that?

>>8822905
i think you have a shit fetish.

>>8820268

Actually gloves are loser then skin and are more likely to get caught by the blade. Also have a better grip with bare skin and hairnets r 4 gurls

>>8822910
>If I posted a webm of a guy making a sandwich out of wood and ketchup
Do Americans really do that?

>>8820379
Perhaps you can learn to use blenders instead? Start on a low setting and work your way up as the mix gets smoother. or start on high setting, splash shit all over you kitchen, waddle around like a retarded duck to find a towel and do the exact same stupid thing again. It's up to (You).

>>8818210
>mandolin glove
wat?

>>8820972
American education, everyone

>>8822905

As an American, I can confirm that this is an accurate representation

>>8822942
where tf is this

>>8822942

>When the ham just falls apart in his hands.

>>8817852
Whatever you say, David Cameron

>>8820313
That goes without saying

>>8819008
MRE mystery meat

>>8823255
Franklin BBQ in Austin possibly.

>>8823461
i just know there's a doggo somewhere in there...

>>8823255
Franklins bbq USA

>>8822905
Stop posting stuff like this. You don't know how jealous it makes me. My country will never have such freedom. I'll never be able to shart in mart liberally and not get kicked out.

>>8818965
>firecrackershrimp.webm
Looks like prawns I know, but still

>>8817357
fuckign disgusting
do Amerilards actually eat this garbage?

>>8817662
wife material
the fish, i mean

>>8817667
i love the nips so much

>>8823461

freaks me out how none of the people's heads are shown

>>8818596
>You only really get ill from eating your own shit than eating other peoples.
I really honestly hope you never reproduce you incredibly retarded faggot.

>>8820525
Lad i've never in my life seen a tuna that insanely large
The meat color and texture looks right though

>>8818432
godly presentation

>>8818912
do Americans really eat this shit?

>>8818941
STOP

>>8822852
Except that's wrong. They're using and touching pork.

>>8823403
unf

>>8817860
I think I just puked a little.

>>8824133
I meant the black gloves you fucking racist.

>>8823403
I really fucking hate that he cuts it open

Have a little faith in the customer. Let us eat it however we want.

>>8819040
Damn hes gotten big

>>8822942
I know these are probably cooked to perfection but they still look charred af. Is it safe to eat?

>>8822118
The blue ones.

>>8824915
Yes, a crust like that is desired with that kind of bbq

>>8822918
The fuck! I knew they ate supersized fast food stuff and had eating challenges but Wood? Why???

>>8819008
>>8820003
Don't knock MREs until you've tried them.
Alot of that weird looking shit tastes great.

>>8818945
Thats incredible

>>8824949
Wow anon, your drawing looks like shit.

>>8825472
Don't be mean to anon, maybe this is a perfect drawing and it's just their dream that looks like shit

>>8818014
Human meet

>>8818075
Oh lawdsy! Is dat some Freddy Chef!!??

>>8823407
Balla

>>8823838
>>8823870

th-thanks

You now want to fuck a cake.

>>8824894
For you?

>>8823974
this is so wrong

>>8825921
I thought it was a joke at first but that's pretty fucking cool.

>>8818014
Recipe please

>>8818491
> TO SERVE MAN

>>8825952
it's just osso buco, nigger

>>8825917

If she just put it on a folded towel instead of in a bowl and held the knife by the handle, this wouldn't have had to reduce my life expectancy by a solid 24hrs.

>>8825954
>how to cook humans

>>8817682
the classic

>>8819943
The video is normal speed

>>8820420
Pointed.

>>8825992
Ey

>>8819053
lol :D

>>8825924
God, that was fucking slick.

>>8819316
>storing your wine in the Gibson

>>8826022
>falling to your death because of a dumb gimmick

>>8817354
this what burgers call taco.

>>8817370
Can you imagine doing that for eight hours, five days a week?
I'll just be a garbage man, thanks.

>>8823974
Is that fucking DSP? Shit, my sides.

>>8818206
I dunno man she's too skinny for me, to the point where she kinda looks like a kid.

>>8817860
> tomato juice cube
WHAT THE FUCK

>>8823860
Anon you just coined a new term. If India is 'poo in loo', then America is 'shart in mart'

>>8826689
>Anon you just coined a new term
>>new

Lol. What's your first day on /ck/ like, anon?

>>8826689

>>8824792

>faith
>in the customer

lol, right

>>8826689
so young, so innocent, so easy on the draw....

>>8822034
...that moment when you realize that this is the moment! This is the moment when your girlfriend starts to get fat!

>>8826714
>>8826729
>>8826733

I think he got you guys

>>8817667
>>8817744
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adPmfLDqlXY&list=PL411D4BBBD76E347D&index=4

source

>>8818311
That's not Steve1989, though.

>>8822915
what about chainmail gloves

>>8820379

It's not that the lid isn't perfect. The hot mixture, suddenly mixed with the cool air. This super heats the cool air and creates steam and raises the pressure very quickly. High pressure + hot steam + non pressure locking lid = steam burns for the fuck up stupid enough to keep his bare hands on top of the machine.

This is true for all blenders because no blender is designed to be a pressure vessel.

There are youtube videos of people doing this with the magic bullet which has a screw on lid on the bottom of the vessel. it still spurts boiling liquid.

>>8825924

Jeezus christ. I was listening to dubstep while watching that video and the drop hit at just the right moment.

It was so filthy i shit myself.

>>8827772

They give a better grip on meat assuming you're working with large/heavy pieces, but they also fuck with your dexterity for small stuff.

As for the saw? Depends entirely on what kind of blade was on there. If it was a scalloped blade like pic related they would actually protect you. If it was a blade with teeth on it then you'd be fucked (and so would the blade).

>>8819943
>this video is sped up

No, watch the guy walking in the background

>>8818554
>you're going to get germs in my alcohol!

>>8818421
now I want to watch Bartender again

Can somebody post the Jack webm of the raw burgers? Was speaking to a mate and he says he orders his burgers medium-rare and I tried to explain to him that minced meat can potentially be dangerous because of how the cooking process works compared to steaks.

At least he realised that girl being proud of making Rare Chicken Strippers was a retard.

>>8827976
>I tried to explain to him that minced meat can potentially be dangerous because of how the cooking process works compared to steaks.

I'm sure he knows that, and just like most rational people don't give a crap.

Why would showing him a jack video change anything?

>>8827995
He has lupus, that's why.

>>8828001

Try sauteing in butter, not oil. And don't forget the 2nd rising.

>>8817642
>How_It_Feels_To_Chew_5_Gum.webm

The live frog is worse.

>>8818421
Disgusting. Do americans really eat this?

>>8818432
>using a lighter to light a cigar

Disgusting. Dropped. Hope he was fired for that.

>>8822099
>>8822179
>>8822180
>>8822181
the cooking scenes in that movie were so good, fuck his daughters for not wanting any

>>8823838
What in the world is the stuff he takes from the pot and dumps all over it? It was in that other gif with the ramen and the doritos too. And the powdery white stuff in the beginning?

>>8828166
>neo/ck/ has never heard of flour

>>8828192

That's not flour you fuckwit, it's cheese. Why would someone put flour on something and then not cook it afterward? You know that raw flour tastes foul, right?

Powdery cheese on corn is a classic Mexican thing.

>>8828205
Raw flour actually doesn't taste foul.

You just think that because you're an american and 10% of every bag of flour is powdered synthetic chemicals.

If wheat tasted like shit before it was cooked, why would humans eat it or bother to domesticate it? People were here yesterday raving about the taste of raw wheat germ.

I've personally never had the stuff because it's illegal to sell without chemicals unless you make miniscule amounts, but I'm sure it's good.

>>8828231
>try to avoid processed foods because muh chemicals and garbage additives
>buy flour
>make my own bread and pasta
>flour is 10% synthetic chemicals

wtf, I hate bread and pasta now. Is there any fucking food in this shithole of a corporately controlled nation that's safe to eat, and why are they trying to kill off their consumer base?

>>8818854
it needs the sound

>>8818014
This show was so good lads, watch it, its Hannibal btw.

>>8828057
what movie? looks interesting.

>>8829001
eat drink man woman

>>8818421
>>8818432
Pure art, no wonder the plebs don't understand.

>>8822034
Does this girl have a youtube or something where she does those challenges? I've seen a webm of her eating sweets in a same set up as well.

>>8817662

holy shit i think i know that guy.

裴赫我很想你!

>>8817912

doesn't she have some kind of health condition that prevents her body from absorbing most of the nutrients? and the japanese health care system helps subsidize the cost of her food?

but it doesnt say anything on her wiki page.

>>8818468
oh god help

>>8818184
Hagfish. Which is worse.

>>8817876
A parody is an exaggerated mock of the original source material. It implies Tasty wouldn't do something like this. This is not a parody. This is a clone of Tasty.

>>8817912
Are you fucking retards actually believing this..??? Fucking hell. They pause the camera for 2 secs whilst she spits. SHE SPITS

>>8824117
>judging a Japanese Tastemade webm of their little understanding of American burgers as Americans actually eating it

You thinking Tastemade is legitimate already tells me you're an idiot.

>>8828166

ignore that other retard

the white stuff is Queso Fresco; it's a Mexican cheese that comes from the peninsula area and is more crumbly/dry than most other cheeses because there's no fermentation involved. Unlike most cheeses that use some bacterial cultures to complement the cooking of the milk, Queso Fresco is just curdled, pressed and strained milk. Not really aged at all, either; just take milk, add some acid to it, then move directly to packaging after the whey separates.

>>8822871
Me too!

>>8827883
omg this triggers me to the bone. it actually hurt

>>8824949
aliens confirmed 2017

>>8819044
I understood that reference

>>8817682
>shokugeki_no_soma_final_battle.webm

>>8827883
rare footage of jack's father

>>8825921
Holy.
Fuck.

I get that this isn't actually that impressive, but my jaw dropped a little. What a cool imitation of nature, very creative.

>>8829272

except she also does live shows, you turbo retard.

>>8819943
>this video is sped up though
Then how fucking slow is that guy in the background?

>>8823461
What are those things that look like bricks?

>>8823419

Top kek

>>8830742
this lady gets me

>>8828231
>someone criticizes the taste of raw flour
>"you just haven't had GOOD raw flour"

This is why I come to /ck/

>>8827833
Are you 12?

>>8827818
Huh. So that's why mine (a philips) doesn't have a hermetically closed top. There's a center 'plug' in the cap with small slots on the sides.