/ck/ - Food & Cooking

At the store i work at a guy comes in the summer with a black duffel bag, packs steak in, takes a lil stroll and then simply walks out.

when i worked at a grocery store, people used to peel the price sticker off of a cheap item, like chicken thighs or ground beef, and put it on a more expensive item like ribeye or whatever

from there you just hope the cashier isnt paying too close attention (they usually arent)

>>8558576
Oh that would work pretty well in self checkout too, I would say. Nice, nice...

I think it's pretty common. Grocery stores account for tons of theft in their budget. They call it the "shrink", IIRC

>>8558622
Retail also calls it shrink.

>>8558562

Fucking Canadians...

I have seen people load up the bottom of their carts with hams and turkeys and not ring them up. If they get caught, they just say they forgot. I like to remind them of the meat in the bottom of their cart. I'm not a thief, and I don't really care about people stealing, tho it does come back to me in the end, but I do get great pleasure in ruining someone's day, especially if they can't afford the $250 of meat at the bottom of their cart.

>>8558562
My local supermarket has started putting security tags on the larger meat packets.
I guess it must have been happening on a large enough scale for them to start tagging shit.

>>8560263

Yeah because other nationalities don't steal stuff from the grocery store right?

My store has one of those "self-scanner" type deals where you scan it, put it in your bag, then go to a self-checkout kiosk with your scanner and that's it.

It's such a fucking stupid tool because I frequently under-scan what I know I can get away with. Nobody checks what you get unless you have alcohol and you can underweigh items on scales to get cheaper veggies. Sometimes the scanner stops working half-way through your trip and doesn't scan anything else and unless you double-check it, you don't even know you're making off $50 worth of food.

>>8558576
>>8558583
Don't self checkouts measure the weight of the item on the belt?

>>8558576
Had this happen to me when a guy came up to my till with a Dyson handheld.
Rang up as a 12 dollar canteen.
I just gave him the most deadpan look, flipped the box and peeled off the barcode he cut off another box.
He fucking bolted.

>>8560418
Would that be enough to bust someone though, unless you get too crazy with it?

people around here do it for sport

>>8560417
What are your tips for this kind of systems? Asking for a friend

I've seen people stuff meat in their jackets and bolt out the store before, crazy niggas

>>8558583
Ou need to get the same weight or it triggers the attendant to cum check

>>8558562
What I do when I usually shoplift is just act casual, acting overly secretive and trying to stuff a something into a something gets you caught easy. What you wanna do is just casually scope out your surroundings for staff and cameras, try not to look like an idiot staring at staff and the ceiling all the time, just spot them from the corner of your eye or do quick inconspicuous glances. Now if the store doesn't have detectors near the door (say stores like QFC or Safeway) you just bide your time until you see a perfect opportunity where the staff are all away or have their backs to the door, and just walk out. If they do have detectors (say Target or Wal-Mart) then things get tricky, you will have to bring a bag or a thick jacket with inside pockets. Try to find a blind spot with the cameras, if they do, make sure no staff or other people is around, stuff it in and then casually leave. If they don't, you're kinda fucked unless you're pretty dexterous with your hands or savvy with sleight of hand techniques. You can try to pull off a turn and stuff where you turn around and quickly stuff it in your inside pocket or pretend to recline somewhere and secretly remove the barcode before walking out.

>>8560612
This, fucking this!
I have worked retail for 10 years and trust me, we do know who you are if you are a shady fuck.
We know how you dress, we know your mannerisms, and we will make your experience a living hell by popping up every other moment to ask if you need something.
loss prevention finds it scary how many times I can spot someone and they notice and ditch a cart with like 400 bucks of merch in it.
If you are in your 30's, look scruffy as fuck and wearing a fucking HOODY in the summer you are doing it FUCKING WRONG.
And if you go grab some shoes and then beeline for the craft area for scissors, lay off the fucking meth.
I used to walk around with spider wraps in my pockets and one I spooked someone tampering with an item I would wrap it and leave knowing they would show back up to find the item secured.

There are other ways to scam the grocer that don't get you kicked out of the store for life if caught. like abusing PLU codes and similar looking bulk items. The attendant never notices and even if they do you can just pretend you were an idiot.

>>8560670
i like to do this with oranges and various citrus fruit esp. if one is on sale for really cheap I can stuff the bag with more expensive clementines or satsumas and none of the overworked saps pay attention.

I only do it with places I despise like safeway though

>>8560662
Seriously, it's the only entertainment we have...

MEAT DICKS

>>8560573
That's only for produce. Items with barcodes you can just scan without putting on the glass.

>>8560662
>tfw have never shoplifted a day in my life, just like wearing a heavy coat in the winter
>every attendant lampshading you like your asshole is on fire

god fucking dammit i just want to buy sardines ;_;

>>8560670
>>8560676
lel I never intentionally shoplift but I ring up organic produce as regular. It started as me not even knowing I was doing it then somebody told me that you're supposed to ring up organic separately and I just figured fuck it since I've been doing it so long.
Haven't been caught yet.

>>8560533
Underrated

I used to steal lots of groceries. Bring a reusable cloth bag and lay it open in your handcart and fill it with tendies and baked meat pies and roasted chickens. Then when it's nice and full walk towards the exit and put the cart down, pack up your cloth bag by the handles in one smooth motion, and walk out.

I got inspired to do it when I watched a dirty local alcoholic in the seaside town I was staying in do the same. It was hilarious

>>8560751
Depending on the store LP will notice this and usually will tell the associates to fuck off at some point.
Trust me, the cameras are focused on us FAR more then they are on you.

My old man has a friend who tried to steal a frozen turkey by placing it under his big rasta-hat. Ended up passing out from the cold on top of his head and hit deck out at the doors

Walk in, take what you want and walk out.
Be quick about it, don't try to look coy, just get in, take what you want and get out. Most grocery stores don't have LP and the people working there stocking shelves and bagging groceries couldn't give two shits if you steal $100 worth of steak.

>>8560394
Canadians steal from the grocery store the most.

walmart sells giant frozen turkeys for 10 bucks near me. I'd never steal anyways.

Also stealing beef? Beef is practically inedible.

>>8561126
>Beef is practically inedible.
Wut?

If I find out someone is the sort of person that steals from grocery stores I don't let them in my house.
Thieves are the lowest form of scum.

>>8561102
Is this what it is really like in 3rd world countries like America?

>>8561089
I want this to be real

Back when I was a cashier at a local grocery store, I was a really miserable leftist that hated my life. I got paid shit, customers treated me like shit, and I bought into the whole le corporate america is fucking me over meme.

So I would often times intentionally not scan meats when I was ringing them up. They are pretty expensive so it was common to not scan $7-$20 worth of meat for customers. I also did it more or less depending on my perception of the customer (how much it seemed like I would like them or not).

Kinda my own autistic way of controlling the universe and playing god.

>>8558562
Greasy

>>8561089
Thank you for the laugh

its easier as a two man operation
one serves as distraction while the other steals

>>8561107
ohyeah?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp09Sdrw2W4

>>8561183
Wow, that was beautiful

These are just birthday presents. You have no right to look in them. We're going to leave now.

Retail clerk here, we know exactly when and how you steal. Don't worry about it, it's not worth it to chase your ass. If you walk straight out the door we'll let you. Trained to not go after you, as a matter of fact. We just file police report and that report I assume will be shredded right in the police building as I never saw nothing get done to my 'regular' thieves. The fuck I care, though, I'm through this shit once I hop to my next work. Hopefully a warehouse work.

>2017
>unironically being thieving niggers

Have realised a couple of times that I've stolen a bagged rotisserie chicken. I shop with a store scanner and sometimes the barcode is covered in grease.

I then forget it's there unscanned at the end of the shop when it comes to paying.

>>8561235
>I then forget
I'm sure, Tyrone

>>8560394
OP's pic is from a canadian tv show you turd burglar

>>8561149
I work in Pret a Manger (kind of Starbucks/Sandwiches fast food) and we have to ask every time if a costumer is "eating in" or "taking away", it's a legal requirement since I think the taxes for take away food are smaller than eating in, since they count as a "food shop" rather than a restaurant.
Whenever an old person comes in and tells me they're eating in (plus it's mostly old persons who do it) I just charge them take away. I charge eating in for all non-elderly adults even if I like them though because they could be a incognito inspector from the company.

>>8561089
Fuck, just woke up 3 flatmates by laughing so loud...

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-38919678

>>8561255
This is what happens when you make people do your fucking job.

Like that Bill Burr bit:
https://youtu.be/FxINJzqzn4w

>>8560535
Get a big cart with your own bags. Scan frequently in the beginning but then occasionally "forget" to scan one or two items. Getting two of the same kind of item and only scanning one is good, also. I don't try to go crazy with it and make it so I only pay 5 bucks for 70 dollars worth of groceries, I just try to hover around at least a 10% discount (on top of whatever savings I get from the bonus card).

Where I'm at there's never somebody to check your orders and make sure you've scanned everything like they are in the normal self-checkout area. The normal self-checkout also has a scale in the bagging area so it knows when you've placed something in a bag that you weren't supposed to. But with the self-scanner, everything goes right back into your shopping cart. It's a good system when it works and cuts down on my shopping time drastically but holy shit if more people took advantage of it, they'd get rid of it entirely.

>>8560270
my grocery store has cameras at each register that point at the bottom of the cart and it shows up on the cashiers screen

>>8560747
Some stores have a scale built into the thing the bags are held on. Every item has a weight in the system and it knows if that is in fact the item you scanned.

When you to walmart go to the deli counter, get some tendies, walk around the store eating them while you shop and ditch the bag.

frig off

If you are having money troubles:
- quit any money eating habits such as smoking and drinking
- eat out less, cook more
- buy less prepared foods, prepare yourself
- good to a food bank
- see if you qualify for welfare -- in Ontario, Canada, MOST people on welfare are actually working...
- talk to your local grocery stores, explain your situation, ask to buy goods that are pass their best before date - those are still good, just a matter of taste which can be disguised with spices
-- I actually buy a lot of prepared foods cheap at expensive grocery stores: to keep up their always fresh moniker, they discount it steeply on the day it expires. It's also because throwing away food cost grocery stores money (so one of the anti-poverty tactic could be charging grocery stores more for throwing away food).

>>8561309
this

drinking is fucking crazy expensive in canada

the money you'd spend on a 6 pack of beer (~$13) you can buy 18 eggs and a bag of rice and still have money left over

>>8558576
I'll do that when buying clothes at Walmart.

Peel the sticker off a 5 dollar pair of sweat pants and put it over a pair of jeans.

Employees are either too oblivious or don't care.

I've worked at a small grocery store (four stores in total, though I've only worked at two) for five years. AMA, faggots. I got bored and made a pic so you can see the general layout.

People steal shit daily. I think the design of our store is partly to blame. Last summer, two black guys came in and they filled a cart to the rim with meat. It was easily 500+ bucks in meat. They filled it up and went near the entrance (you can wrap back around the store) and just dashed out of the store. Somebody was waiting with a car and they just shoved chucked handfuls of meat into the back. It was some pretty crazy shit. There are countless incidents (none as major as this) but I dunno if anyone is interested.

pic related, shitty diagram of store. There is a small bakery in the front of the store as well, to the right of the entrance. To the left they have a small pharmacy and a place you can buy cigs.

>>8561352
What kind of store did you work at?

>>8561359
Its a small grocery chain. Its family owned. Four stores in the state, but only two in my town. We sell some random shit too.

>>8561366
Thats cool, how long did you work there?

>>8561248
Aww

>>8561371
(You) should learn how to read, buddy.

>>8561391
Im sorry. Did anyone ever try to steal from your store?

>>8561352
>Somebody was waiting with a car and they just shoved chucked handfuls of meat into the back.
only time ive ever taken stuff is when ive left on foot or on a bike. i mean couldnt you have easily taken a licesnse plate number and car description and called the cops right then and there? cops dont carE?

>>8558562
These are just birthday presents, you got no right to look in them!

>>8561126
I can't imagine walmart beef is representative of beef in general.
Frankly I would never buy groceries there to begin with.

>>8561322
but life sucks

>>8561327
loss prevention at big box stores keep a file on shoplifters so that they can prosecute with 10 instances of theft and like $1000 of product rather than going after someone for twenty bucks.

What I did when I was a poorfag.

>pick up 2 cuts of meat, one cheap, one expensive.
>place both in plastic bag that grocery stores offer
>place cheaper cut on top
>scan bag at self checkout
>only top cheaper cut gets scanned
>get the expensive meat on the bottom for free

Literally got away with stealing probably $2500 worth of meat over the course of two years by doing this.

Also, not sure about you guys but all of the stores in my area have the least amount of cameras in the dairy, eggs, cheese aisles. Best aisles for shoplifting.

>>8560662
>wear mostly hoodies and track pants
>it's comfy mayne
>always look like I just came from the gym
>yet grocery staff always hovers around me

wtf man

>>8558562
No but the security guard always stops me and asks to see my pockets on my way out because I'm fat
I would say he has it in for me but there are like 5 different security guards depending on the day
People don't steal Chocolate you morons. People steal expensive shit

>>8562557
Most people dont know this, but security guards are just a hired lookout. They can't legally detain you or make you empty your pockets.

Even loss prevention at stores like Wal-Mart or Target can't legally detain you. They will block your path and try to intimidate you ("I'm going to have you come with me to the back until the police arrive...") but if you just walk right past them they can't do jack shit. The worst they would do is follow you out to the parking lot. And even then, if they put their hands on you to try and stop you, you can sue them for assault.

t. Worked my way through college as a security guard at hotels, grocery stores and food warehouses

>>8561824
The people involved got in trouble and are banned from the store now. We couldn't take the meat back though.

>>8558562
Yeah i stole a porterhouse. I bought one steak at self checkout and then put the porterhouse under the other steak in the bag

We'd go for 'chicken runs' at out whatever local albertsons store we could find. Pretty desperate times but fuck we got full. Two of us would alternate grabbing full bags of chicken strips from the deli and another gal would grab tons of the robotussin DM gel cap bottles, all meet towards the front of the place real quick and head out..a a dude would pick us all up right then and dip out 5 minutes after we entered the store.

Never caught, close once but that's cause we were a little too ballsy with the security that was outside.

>>8560573
>>8560418
Then just take the sticker of off something that weighs the same as the meat.

>>8558562
When I worked at a grocery store we had a guy pack it into two suitcases and make out with a ton of expensive stuff.

>>8561309
>- quit any money eating habits such as smoking and drinking
Uhhh, you lost me there...

>>8558622

Can confirm, I work in a grocery store.

>>8560425
If you ever did that to me I'd sock you in the fucking face

>>8561240

And that should be relevant because....?

>>8562655
What, spare you a felony and let you run out because you were an idiot?

>>8562655
>I know, shoplifting isn't bad enough to add to my rap sheet, let's add battery charges too!

>>8560612
Ex target employee reporting in
Don't steal from target unless you're being really sneaky. They have people watching the cameras, and they'll wait for you to steal a shit ton to press charges so they'll have a ton of proof.
Target actually gives a fuck. Just go to walmart.

>>8561149
nice, comrade.

>>8561141
>rapists, murderers and other violent offenders are ok
>people stealing food are the lowest form of scum
I will never understand the mindset of people like you.

>>8561229
Midwestfag here white as snow and make a decent living.
I steal all the time from grocery stores because why not?
You think the corporations give two fucks? Fuck em.

>>8562807
You're getting triggered by a guy saying fucking Canadians in reference to the show.

>>8561102
think again fucko, publix gives us a free (half) submarine sandwich (publix brand only, no more than $5.69)

>>8561309
>- talk to your local grocery stores, explain your situation, ask to buy goods that are pass their best before date - those are still good, just a matter of taste which can be disguised with spices

we can't actually sell you our out of date stuff. We can/will get SUPER fucked by the government if we're caught. Fuck, it's a health code violation just to have out of date stuff on the shelf.

>>8562929
He didnt say people who steal food, he said >thieves
I tend to agree with the anon on this point

>>8558562
It makes me happy to know that so many niggers and shitskins browse this board based off of the number of shameless thief posting in this bread. /ck/ truly is multicultural :)

>>8563514
>stealing from Jew corporations is a bad thing

I steal food all the time. I just enter all coiffed with a nice suit and tie and nobody questions me just walking out with a rack of ribs or bottle of Persecco.
Basically just don't be black and make it look like you're important.

>>8563514
I can easily afford the food. If they have easy to fool tech and/or lack of theft protection I'm going to save a few bucks every time. It's stupid to not take advantage of a corporation. I'm not even doing it at the expense of an employee's mistake (i.e. not ringing up the more expensive item) where the blame might fall to them. I'm in a very expensive area and the store in question gets a ton of business.

>>8558562
Yeah, I knew a guy who stole meat all the time. He wasn't a friend, just an acquaintance through another friend. Eventually he got sloppy with his stealing and got arrested for stealing deodorant. On a stolen bike. And wiped out and rolled down hill while being chased by cops. A good laugh was had by all.

I worked convenience for a few years and I used to boost a pack of Hot Rods or a Sasquatch meat stick every so often. My health probably improved after I left.

>>8562655
Edgy or idiot? You decide.

>>8562655
a) I would like it.
b) I flip 600lb tables and work on 2000lb batteries.
I broke a guys finger who stuck it in my chest because he actually touched me so I 'defended myself.'
Boss yelled at me about it, but I had a manager vouch for me.

>>8560676
And this is why we no longer have self checkout at Safeway. Thanks for ruining it for everyone else, assholes!

>>8564141
how much of an awkward sperg do you have to be to lament the loss of the self checkout at your favorite grocery store

>>8564141
>Want two things.
>Those bullshit check stands are now in.
>Some old lady has three different transactions to beat the item limit.
>PAYS WITH CHECKS.

>>8558562
Return it Jamal

>>8563743
Never forget that you are a disgusting nigger thief

I put London broils inside packaging for cheaper things constantly. Like it fits perfectly into a resealable salad bag

/ck/ - Scumbags

>>8565183

If you're going to steal meat then why not steal a better cut than a damn london broil?

>>8558562
If you want to do it bring butchers paper or something, take it out of the packet and then wrap it in the paper and claim you bought it from the butcher

>>8558562
I work at a grocery store. I see empty styrofoam meat tray on the shelf occasionally. Not all the time. Stuff like shrimp and fish related items get stolen as far as I noticed. Where these people store the meat on their person is beyond me. Why someone would go through such great lengths to steal raw me is completely fucking beyond me. It's like going to a pet shop and stuffing a dog or cat into your trousers and walking out. Just absolutely desperate as fuck.

>>8565949
If I were desperate enough to have to steal food, I'd be too embarassed to steal fresh meat or seafood. I'd stick to canned shit, fresh produce, maybe a few eggs, cheese, tortillas or bread, etc., as a kind of penance.

>>8561107
Those fucking Roma are pretty good at it.
https://youtu.be/Z6clDwubPfg

>>8562978
Really? I remember reading multiple reports that they are just guidelines - sometimes food goes bad before the date, sometimes they are so okay the supermarket relabel it...

I was more thinking of buying on the very date, or buying those goods that are a bit smashed up or bruised but are still good.

In Toronto there is a store call Almost Perfect that sells those kind of goods. I used to buy discount patties at Allan's Pastery at Peanut Plaza where a corner was missing or it's been understuffed.

>>8566512
thats what the loblaws does when it gets to the last day

they slap a 50% off sticker on it

>>8560662
Wrong. That is exactly the way to go. Under certain circumstance of course.

>>8566512
If something is dated to say 2/15 and it's 2/14, we'll knock the price down a few dollars.
If it's the 15th that shit gets tossed ASAP.

>>8558622
Each cashier is given $100 with which to potentially make mistakes scanning daily too, at least when I unfortunately worked at a grocery store.

>>8566512
No store is going to take a chance on selling old meat that could make someone sick and land them with a big lawsuit.

>>8558562

Don't be a nigger, don't steal.

>>8562934
thanks for the lol

>>8561306
lmao!

I once walked around a Home Depot while getting paint to fix a wall our friend fucking drew on while tripping on MDMA. During the walk, I just took a soda and drank it while we were waiting for the paint to get done. Threw the bottle out before I even left the store.

Thanks for the free beverage, Home Depot!

I used to work at a convenience store and I'd be the only one there. I'd steal so much shit. I eventually stopped bringing my own lunch and I'd just pick up a bag of chips, a kit kat, and a drink. I did this pretty much every single day and either my boss didn't give af (which is very likely because one day she just threw me a pack of smokes and told me not to even worry about it) or they just didn't know.

I'd bullshit the prices too. One time someone came in with his girlfriend. She had a cold and needed some nyquil and I knocked that shit down from $6 to like $1. Price override was probably my favorite thing about that job. I would just bullshit everything. I'm sure people stole shit daily and I'm sure I could too. I know exactly how the cameras work and if the boss wasn't there, nobody was watching shit. Just slide a candy bar into your pocket and bye bye see ya'.

Do I feel bad? Fuck no, they paid shit and basically violated basic employee regulations. I worked 8 hour shifts and never had a real break, and I would be criticized for using the bathroom when nobody was in the shop (you're entitled to a potty break). Furthermore, standing 8 hours straight just plain sucks and I hustled to keep that place clean. I also pulled quite a few shifts back to back, so often I was working 16 hours without break. The least they can do is feed my lunch.

To be retarded and get caught, you had to be like our past employee and steal literal cartons of cigarettes before anyone notices. My store didn't even have automatic inventory, so there was no real way to keep up with what was lost, returned, or stolen. She actually got caught because she ended up scratching lotto and lying on the numbers sheet with how many she sold. Her idea was "If I scratch long enough, eventually I can pay off the lotto I fucking stole." It was pretty funny.

I used to steal for the challenge. I always had enough money to pay for whatever, only got caught like twice, but got out of it without trouble.

Looking back it was foolish, not because I feel guilty to Walmart, just because it was a waste of time.

I'm glad I grew out of that phase.

>>8562934
this to be fair, every store has theft insurance anyway, they literally make money from shoplifters stealing their stuff

>>8564155
>live for 10 years in a country that's cash-only
>move back to a western country where everything is just taken straight from your bank account
>mfw waiting in line to pay for anything literally takes 4x as long by card
then there's those cunts that somehow manage to spend more than 20seconds at an ATM, just walk up, take your money and gtfo

>>8558622
shrink is any losses from handling products, so theft, spills, things that spoil on the shelf, things no one wants because they look weird or something, it's all shrink
t. bagger and cart fetcher

>>8558562
Once stole a turkey roast from aldi. That was even before I knew how to cook. Put it in the oven for half an hour or so. Awful.

>>8560270
I've caught a lot of these
usually they have have a lot of things, and they often look to be in their 40s or older, and they often thank me for catching it, so I just chalk it up to being scatter-brained

>>8567381

People put soda or toilet paper at the bottom of their cart. When they load it up with expensive meat, they have no desire to pay for it.

>>8561322
>drinking
>beer
unless you're literally insane and like the taste of it, there is no reason to drink beer whatsoever
if you want to get drunk have some liquor like a fucking adult
if you don't, have some fucking water, you don't need sugary drinks all day

>>8561352
>>8561359
>>I've worked at a small grocery store [...] for five years.
>What kind of store did you work at?

>>8562619
>cold pills
you were helping people make meth?

>>8561089
this is pasta, no?

>>8567332
some people just have bad cards, it takes ages for the system to read them

>>8567441
never seen meat on the bottom that I can remember, just non-perishables

>>8562655
lamo you fucking fruit.

>>8561141
Stealing food is different imho. Jean Valjean stole food, you wouldn't let him into your home?

>>8563514
>good goy, don't you take anything from us without paying for it we provide for you.

>>8558562
No, I'm not a nigger.

>>8562959

It's autistic to say that if he's referencing the show

>>8560670
Expensive organic produce? More like regular priced produce.

>>8562655
Would ya?

>>8560394
canadians are actually banned from the waitrose near me in London

>>8567622
Jean Valjean will starve again
unless he learns the meaning of the law

>>8560394
iirc wasnt there a study on this proving that canadians are the most likely to shoplift?

>>8560394
https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/canadians-are-a-bunch-of-kleptomaniacs-new-poll-shows-444

proof canadians shoplift the most

>>8568349
68% of all canadians are darkskinned and thus prone to shoplifting. Those come from cultures where :yours are mine and vice versa.

>>8566241
all items that cost next to nothing

meat is expensive for it's size

you'd save more cash from one big bit of meat than a whole basket shit like that

>>8566737
how do they know if you don't scan it?

Not meat, but I got accused of "stealing" broccoli from my local Giant.

I like getting fresh broccoli, which is charged per pound. Except they sell it with about 2 pounds of stem on it, so I always just rip that huge chunk off and throw it next to the broccoli. I'll do this with about 4 or 5 heads of broccoli.

I guess twice in a row I noticed someone in produce mean mugging me when I did this.

About a week ago I was approached by the manager and she started to scold me with this whole rehearsed lecture. I kept cutting her off, which made her lose her train of thought, so she kept getting more and more flustered. Then I started giggiling.

I was approached by the GM after checkout and was politely asked to never return.

>>8560417
I ring up my red bell peppers as green bell peppers

Anything on the bottom of the cart is free with self checkout... just act normal and don't look down at it. If a clerk catches on, just act surprised like you forgot it was there.

Get one of those fancy cloth bags, sew a fake pocket into the bottom.

Toss the bag in your cart when you go shopping, at some point stop and reorganize your cart, slipping what you want into the bag, then continue on.

Just make sure you do your own bagging or else the bag boy might notice the weight.

>>8564141
My local Safeway still has self-checkout. Maybe you live in a crime ridden area or something.

>>8568347

>>8569395
Did you perhaps consider asking the produce clerk if he'd trim the damn broccoli for you?

>>8558622
>shrinkage*

I live in a very suburban Albertan city. The safeway I go to still has self-checkouts and they are the kind that weigh the stuff when you put it in the bag. It's harder to steal but it's still pretty easy if you are smart. That said I've only done it a couple times because it's just not worth it and I felt like a piece of shit for doing it.

If you "double scan" things that are light it won't trigger the scale and won't detect an "undetected item" in bagging area. So for me that meant getting 2 for 1 wings from the deli (or whatever). I suppose if you really wanted to save money you would do it with expensive shit like crest white strips (extremely light and they are over 60$ a box here). .

The good ol scan it as something it isn't is the easiest way, but they always haev an old lady working at the end of the self-checkout, and it's only a small aisle of 4x2 (for a total of 8) machines. That said if it's busy you can do whatever, they are way too swamped to care. They don't even check if there is something wrong, they just run over to you and swipe their little card. They don't give a shit.

That said people who steal are fucking scum. I see it everytime I go to the grocery store and it's always middle aged women (of course they are white, I am canadian so everyone is white). They steal the most ridiculous shit. Meat is the most popular.

I sit there while a cashier checks me out (I never use the self-checkout anymore) and watch these buffoons steal meat. Not a little, either. Just hundreds of dollars worth of t-bones and shit. It's outrageous nobody does anything to them. Makes me honestly want to steal because there are absolutely no repercussions. But then I realize I'm not a piece of garbage.

>>8560662

>Go shopping and wander around purposefully acting shady

>Pick up stuff and walk a few aisles over and turn it several times in my hands like an autist

>Loss prevention who thinks he's on to someone shows up

>Ask the LP if they are hiring because their current crew sucks

It's more than you having fun

>>8565098
Alright, I won't. Is that the worst you've got? Wow your words really hurt my soul. I hope the big soulless jew corps you live by reward you with 2% off your next 200% up charged purchase! They are totally your friend who would never try to rip you off, trick you, or steal your money! All crimes are black and white and anyone who does something a law says is bad is a DIRTY THIEVING NIGGER

>>8567504
>robitussin >meth
Its just dxm bro, not meth. Cmon now. You make meth with pet flea meds.

>>8562655
No you wouldn't, you fucking faggot. You'd stammer something about how you have no idea how that got there, then pay for the item at full retail price.

>>8562586
This is not always true, be careful with what you try.

I used to work at Home Depot and their Loss Prevention officers CAN and DO legally detain people all the fucking time. I can't count how many times I saw him literally dragging people into the LP office while the cops came. He even asked me for help once with this meth-head chick that had coke strength or some shit. It took 3 of us just to hold her in place against a wall until the cops came to handcuff her for walking out of the store with a cart full of expensive tools.

>>8562962
No they don't you fucking liar. I used to work at Publix as an overnight stock clerk and they never gave us shit for free or any discounts.

>>8567225
Snacks and Sodas are "pay by scan" items at home depot. The store doesn't own or pay for them until they're purchased, so you didn't steal from Home Depot you stole from whatever distributor stocks the sodas/snacks.

They don't give a fuck about that. Same goes for most plants. Anything that's PBS they don't care if it gets stolen. What they care about is the super expensive and easy to carry toolkits and other small but expensive shit like circuit breakers and wire.

>>8569395
>throwing away the stem

Are you retarded? That's the best part you mongoloid. Peel the outer skin, slice it, and saute it. It's WONDERFUL.

>>8570148
Don't know when you worked there, but it's called the "My Publix, My Reward" program. When you do stupid chitzy shit and your manager notices, or you get a customer compliment, they're supposed to give you a little card that lets you get a free carrot cake or publix half sub.

>>8570198
That's retarded.

"You did your job and someone noticed. Have a reward that costs us like $1".

I remember when they used to give employees free turkeys for thanksgiving.

>>8568345
is there a fun story that goes with this?

>>8561218
>another shithole deadend job is what I'm hoping for

Just kill yourself.

>>8570251
they still do that too

>>8568355
>>8568349
I'm really not surprised by this. I don't know anyone who hasn't stolen from a grocery store at some point in their life.
I think none of the clerks really wants to deal with the hassle of calling them out/police.
I would at least stuff the items I was snagging in my big sweater, but one of my friends just walked out with arms full of shit.
though with the grab n go with alcohol is a completely different, those fucker will chase you for fucking miles.
well that's my experience anyway.