/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>cooking
>brownies

u srs?

For me, it is the McChicken, the best fast food sandwich

>>8372000
>is there anything else I can make that will ensure maximum chances of sex?

rohypnol in the brownies

>>8372000
You need a drill sergeant and probably /mlp/

>Brownies

Are you even trying m80

>>8372000
>but is there anything else I can make that will ensure maximum chances of sex?
Don't come off as extremely fucking thirsty like this.

Hate to say it OP, but you just have to kill her.

>>8372012
>thirsty
You type like a nigger or a 13 year old
Either way, get the fuck out

She's obviously in to you. Just make halfway decent brownies, don't be overly competitive about it, and don't splurge out. A flour fight sounds retarded.

If she will be wooed so easily by brownies she's probably a landwhale and will put out without hesitation.

Try cumming on one of the brownies and see if she will eat it.

>>8372000

Just grab her by the pussy

At my age, if I tried a flour fight, that QT would just get pissed off and chase me with a wooden spoon. Must be nice to be in your young years.

>>8372002
Good post brew!

>>8372000
>how do i initiate a flour fight
is this real or is this bait

>>8372017
What, did I hit close to home?
The phrasing you used comes across as really desperate and it's not the kind of presentation that would get a lady wet.

>>8372059
>the fucking look on her face

>How do I initiate a flour fight?

the obvious answer is to have her cook alongside you at your place and get yourself caught surreptitiously sabotaging her food with a shit eating grin on your face. like replacing the sugar with salt and stuff. shit'll escalate fast

>>8372000
'You' MUST initiate the flour fight.
She is MOST likely going to use some silly Pinterest recipe that calls for the use of a brownie mix from a box.
You must use a recipe from a real book. A good book, Joy of Cooking grade.
And try some liquor and start a bet with most advantageous outcomes.
I suggest pot brownies. You'll need cannabutter, and here's a simple recipe in pic related. It's made for cookies, but just use the cannabutter in a brownie recipe instead.
Put on The Hobbit or something.
>Get pussy
>????
>PROFIT!

>>8372313
>that recipe
Instead of straining the plant matter, add a lot of water to the butter & put it in the fridge. All the plant matter sinks to the bottom, the butter goes hard & you can just lift it clean off the water layer.

>>8372000
Make your brownies in the shape of a dick and ask which part she wants to taste.

Then slap her with flour and mount her in your kitchen.

>>8372357
Won't the THC also dilute into the water?

>>8372002
That looks to be a McNana.

>is there anything else I can make that will ensure maximum chances of sex?

Yeah, you can make a move. you're going to need something to do while the brownies are cooking so throw on a movie or something and sit with her

>>8372402
Don't make the move while the food is still cooking like a retard. I did this and she accepted the move and I ended up starting an apartment fire.

>>8372002
You mind if I save this pic Dave?

>>8372391
Not at all dude. That's why drinking bong water won't get you high. The active ingredients in cannabis are oil-soluble, plus with cold water & being in the fridge, the miniscule fraction that may be water soluble is minimized to practically nothing.

Clam or mussel pasta with white sauce. You just need clams/mussels, linguini, white wine, butter, lemon, and parsely. Every girl I've made it for has loved it

>>8372017
you type like a nigger
you probably couldn't even cook a piece of chicken you dumb spic

>>8372411
Lol how did that end up working out for you?

>>8372423
cant forget garlic and shallots for that sauce

Wow, there's a heavy dose of stupid in this post. First he has until tomorrow to be ready, and you don't even know if he can find or afford it. So making butter isn't even an option. Second cold water doesn't break down the lipids, or "dillute the TCH." Bleh, it's only one of many psychoactives produced by cannabis. And you use water to make bubble hash. Third, pot brownies are far more effective cooked at really low temperatures. It takes way longer to cook. Fourth, joy of cooking is shit tier. Fanny Farmer is a real cookbook, that you'd actually learn from. Fifth, the best answer so far was the movie. You can check brownies and eventually finish the movie while trying each other's out.

Agree that the flour fight isn't the best idea. Getting her clothes messy will probably piss her off if she doesn't have her own clothes. You could always have her wear your clothes while you wash hers.

>>8372059

"My dealer is gonna fucking kill me"

>>8372432
Shit yeah you're right

>>8372411
Nice.

Make weed brownies, in my experience women are hornier when high

pro tip, her brownies are probably made by pouring a box of mix in to mixer and adding what the box said to add, I have never tasted a brownie that I didn't like and neither has anyone who likes brownies. just do the same and add nuts.
be funny
take cues
use smart humor
use a bit of self depricating humor.
take the second opening

start sweet then get kinky as fuck go rough and fuck her brains out.

godspeed budy.

>>8372059
Fucking kek

>>8372000
you don't have to win. you don't even have to be good. she just has to have fun. relax dude. Also, please don't flour fight...

wear your cleats OP

>>8372000
It's really simple. Just make mediocre brownies and let her win. If you absolutely have to win though you better win resoundingly to the point she's so impressed she jumps your bones on the spot. Otherwise let her win.

>>8372627
What do you mean by "take the second opening"?

>>8372647
Beat me to it

>>8372724
The butthole obviously

>>8372017
Well it doesn't take much to hurt your feelings now does it.

>>8372724
there's going to come a point in which you think "this is it, pound tha juicy pushy"
hold back and make out, instead of jumping right in. take the second opening, it's another way to say, don't skimp on the foreplay.

>>8372512
just in case op is a retard and thinks this is a good idea, dont do this

>>8372002
Exquisitely meme'd my friend

>>8372753

Make brownies and cry when you lose. Accuse her of cheating while you're at it.

Good luck OP!

>>8372724

Her ears. Shove brownie mix in her ears. Also in her eyes.

Alright OP here's my recipe. It's so good you'll cry.

What you need:

> 3 red peppers
> 2 garlic toes
> Water
> 1 Water pistol

What you have to do:

> Chop up the peppers
> BE CAREFUL DONT WIPE YOUR EYES
> Chop up the garlic
> Put both and a little salt in water
> Let it sit for a night
> Filter the water
> Put the filtered water in the water gun

> Spray in her face with said water gun

There you go, OP.

GOOD LUCK!

Such a hot pic OP. perfect body. Always had a fetish for shots like that

>>8372000
>she's coming over tomorrow.
You know damn well you're getting some, unless of course you play it autistic or come off as a guy who caught the gay.

But you should make real food, or at least get some real food.
Impress her with some stir-fry, sauteed veggies, sriracha, fried taters or sushi - go all out mayne. Make a couple of dips and one sauce.
Then make two dips and give her the sauce.
>Tell her not to fill up on deserts.

Blend some oyster puree into the batter and prepare to see those draws drop OP

>>8372961
>fuck

>>8372962
Why wouldn't you just use oyster sauce?

>>8372411
>blaming yourself

what a ridiculous thread

but I laughed

More like turd-merric

>>8372000

Make that bitch some dessert crepes as well and make a chocolate wine sauce:

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/241351/dessert-chocolate-wine-sauce/

Is everyone in this thread a numale and/or a virgin?

>>8373268
Ah, the White Russian.

This is a very interesting drink, and it has nothing to do with it's taste.

If you have a White Russian before you lose your virginity, you are destined to never lose your virginity.

>>8373244
more like tumor dick

>>8373273
If OP and the girl coming over to have a brownie competition have about three each then start doing vodka shooters ain't nobody gonna be a virgin for long.

>>8373273
>If you have a White Russian before you lose your virginity, you are destined to never lose your virginity.

Why did nobody tell me before?
I celebrated my 21st by drinking white Russians.......I'm a31 yr old virgin

>>8373307
>ain't nobody gonna be a virgin for long.

Imagine OP and his girl. You know they are both fat as fuck.

They get drunk on white russians while making brownies, and each their combined half ton bodies end up getting covered in flour and chocolate.

It mixes into all their crevices, sweat and oil from now showering.

My god, the smell will be amazing

>>8373268
>Thise Sodmælk
God smag

>>8373324
>disgust

>>8372004
Breaded cheese with tartar sauce. Success

>>8372000
She has already decided if she wants to have sex with you or not. Don't try too hard, just do things as they come. Don't force anything. Flour fights only happen in movies, no one wants to be covered in flour.

>>8373436
>no one wants to be covered in flour.

Maybe not, but when you're as fat as these two it's required to find the wet spot.

>>8373268
Yes.

>>8373324
How Christmassy!

>>8372000
It's wintertime, make some soup

>>8373455
You must be an Aussee because those bantz were from down under.

Fucking Savage mate.

>>8372391
The is lipophillic you cretin

>>8373455

Great banter

Make 2 of those microwave mug brownies and if she doesnt like it she can get the fuck out of your house

>>8372391
>dilute into the water
Go back to middle school.

walnuts and fancy frostings.

trust me.

>>8372012
>unironically saying thirsty
Reddit out

>>8373665
Have a glass of water.

>>8372421
>>8373627
>>8373654
It also dissolves well in alcohol.
>>8372942
Capsaicin, like THC, isn't soluble in water. Soluble in alcohol, ether, benzene.

>>8372411
I forgot cooking while fucking too. Ah, good times...
>>8373273
>If you have a White Russian before you lose your virginity, you are destined to never lose your virginity.
This isn't supported by my experience.

>>8374357
I'm guessing that dubious "rule" is based on the tendency for some virgin to just turn into more of a doughy faggot by discovering white russians while someone who's already got some female connections is more likely to take advantage of their feminine appeal in a proper way

>>8374357
Capsaicin is hardly insoluble in water, and it is fairly easy to prove.
Go boil some water, then add whatever hot chili you have on hand.
Let it sit, then drink it. If capsaicin is truly insoluble, then the brew should not have any heat to it.

>>8372215
You did strike a nerve, op sounds like rapey little fuck.

>>8372000
Cannabutter

>>8372256
I advise against this, she probably wanted a genuine dessert competition and such foolery with the ingredients comes across as immature and possibly trying to cheat

Just cum into a load of icing and make cupcakes and make her eat them

make real brownies with high grade flour, eggs, dark choc and cocoa. Adding limoncello or grand marnier and cooking at a higher temp to get that sweet, gooey centre will do the trick.

>>8373661
This guy knows what's up. Walnuts, pecans and crushed brazil nuts are noice on brownies.

>>8372000
Asking for advice is cheating.

What I learned from my dad when it came to cooking for women.

Make the meal something you can prep most beforehand, or have it for the most part roast in the oven ect.
Less stress, more time to drink wine with the lady and not to mention significantly harder to fuck up the dish compared to something far more complicated.
Ohh yeah, and fucking make something you've already tried and know is good.

>>8372313

IMO, butter is the wrong way to go. It burns much too easily.

Rather, try setting up a double boiler with the top compartment filled with a 1:2 mixture coconut oil or shortening or some other high smokepoint saturated fat and water.

Grind up the herb and put it in some cheesecloth, like a giant teabag, tied off with food-safe twine.

Let it steep in the water/oil for about two hours, stirring/agitating it every 15-20 minutes or so. The oil should turn a pretty deep emerald green. Let it cool for about half an hour, then remove the bag and squeeze it to get out the extra good.

Pour the water/oil mixture into a bowl and stick it in the freezer for a while, until the oil all floats to the top and becomes solid, but not so long that the water freezes.

Take it out of the freezer, then use a knife around the edges to dislodge the top layer of coconut oil. Take this layer, and then melt it over gentle heat in the double boiler, for about 30 minutes, so the residual water can evaporate. Pour it into a dark container and store it in the fridge.

Eat a measured, small amount to gauge dosage, then do the math as to the servings per batch of brownies and replace an appropriate amount of the recipe's called-for fats with the cannaoil. Add some black pepper, it doesn't take much, which helps to calm the THC anxiety. With edibles, keep in mind, less is more. About 5mg of THC on an empty stomach (e.g., just oil), maybe up to 10 if in edible form, produces the most pleasant high with the least anxiety, but high dose edibles can be almost dissociative in nature.

Chicken or salmon with this sauce, it is retard tier easy and you can say you "made it up" or whatever. It is basically teriyaki. Just combine these things in amounts that you think will taste right

>soy sauce
>brown sugar
>garlic or garlic powder
>onion powder
>lemon or pineapple juice

ez

>>8373455
Top top kek

>>8373041
This. If that roasty SLUT had been able to keep her cunt closed for more than five minutes she wouldn't have caused your apartment to burn down. I hope you beat the shit out of her

>>8372440

>>8372627
Do what this guy said to do but have a single testicle hanging out of your zipper.

>>8375779
Replace freezer with a regular fridge, and don't bother about freezing water. (Coconut oil solidifies at fridge temperature, right?)

Informative post otherwise.

>>8373273
>If you have a White Russian before you lose your virginity, you are destined to never lose your virginity.

I broke the curse.