/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>MAMA MIA, NO NO NO You don'ta put the cheese witha the fish-a
Quality cheese mixed with quality fish means you can't taste the fish anymore. If you wanna put american cheese on your tuna sandwich nobody gives a shit but if you put a decent cheese next to a seabass or halibut you won't notice the fish if at all. It's common sense anon

>you cook-a the pasta AL-DENTE that is the way of my MAMA
I don't see how you could argue with this. I don't know anyone that likes mushy starch with few exceptions

>in ITALIA my poor grandmama-a could not afford-a bacon, TRUE carbonara uses pigs-a anuso
American carbonara is not the same as classic carbonara. I don't think anyone is arguing taste. If I say I'm making trout almondine and use pecans instead of almonds it really isn't trout almondine anymore.

Anon I don't think you actually thought about anything you typed here.

>>8341088
You're another dogmatic wop asshole who thinks anything that is authentic is automatically better.

You fucking euro-beaner. I'm pretty sure Europeans consider you European Mexicans. I hope they do. I do.

>>8341050
>tough, sticky pasta stuck to the roof of their mouth
What.

>>8341125
Well, looks like this thread has been liked to the IIDF forums.

I like this thread

Italians are just stubborn, its their nature

>>8341149
Don't forget having a hairy back and speaking loud in public places. That is also their nature.

>>8341149
They are great to rape and i like their desserts

>>8341156
>I get my information about the world from films and television

>>8341104
>I voted for Trump

How many italians do you know, OP? And not from new Jersey mmkay?

>>8341164
Not an argument.

>>8341196
so its true then

>>8341173
I only know this subhuman sicillian trash family who lives down the way. They actually put mushrooms in their chicken noodle florentini casserole. That is not mama mia

>>8341050
Not Italian, but i like AL DENTE

I really hate when 3rd generation Italians in America only pronounce food names in Italian

I agree with you, but al dente pasta is usually desirable, and carbonara is definitely better with pancetta and with minimal cream if you must use some.

>>8341050
Your idea of what al dente means is incorrect. If the pasta is sticking to the roof of your mouth it's just raw.

>>8341164
Yeah, I did vote for trump.

Just wait until he takes office and sends your Grandmother back to Mexico.

I only get butthurt when places say they're authentic, but are some weird Americanized version of Italian food.

>>8341363
And usually incorrectly anyway

>>8341050
>I have not had much interaction with Italian people and most of my opinions are formed from watching tv.
Faggot.

>>8342379
I don't watch TV. It's not 1995, Grandpa.

My opinions of Italians are formed from having conversations with Italians on the internet.

>>8342383
Millennial detected.

>Am Italian
>Learn some simple recipes, they taste surprisingly good
>Ask grandma for a couple recipes
>They're dogshit and missing half the steps/ingredients to make it edible

Italians don't know shit about cooking if it's not some hole in the wall pizza joint

>>8342395
>>Am Italian

So American then?

>>8342395
>Italians don't know shit about cooking if it's not some hole in the wall pizza joint

>>8342383
>My opinions of Italians are formed from having conversations with Italians on the internet.

>Opinions formed on the internet

Just fucking gas this generation.

>>8342414
I CARRIED AN M-16

>>8342377
>mfw people put proshoot on the branzin and rigot on the ragoo
pass the gabagool

>>8341292
stop shouting, are you brazilian or something?

>>8341088
You rekt OP lmao

>Why are Italians

Cause they're 5th-8th in everything. Big among the small countries but small among the large ones. So food is all they got and they start silly fights with everyone insisting f.e. French cooking is 'disgusting'. Also, tiny dicks.

>>8342363
>wop
>back to Mexico

If you're going to shitpost, at least do so consistently. Furthermore, a civil discussion about cuisine would do more for your anger issues than circlejerks and (You)-baiting.

>>8342480
>f.e
What did he mean by this?

>>8342430
>Proshoot
Prosciutto?
>Branzin
No idea
>Rigot
Ricotta?
>Ragoo
Must be ragu
>gabagool
No idea

>>8342493
Since this is an anonymous imageboard I have no way to know that both of the posts I replied to were written by the same person so I will assume they were not.

>>8342496
For example

>>8342504
Gabagool is, shit you not, Capicola.

Wops legitimately pronounce it that way.

t. New Yorker who's seen dagos do this so often that they make fun of it themselves

>>8342504
Pretty sure branzin is bronzino, aka European seabass.

Can you guess what is manigott?

>>8341050
I really love that Americanized or localized pizza has spread pretty much worldwide, I try it one in every country I visit. I hope the eyetalians are assblasted.

>>8342397
Nah he's 1/32 Italian on his grandma's side so therefore Italian. You can tell cause he wears track suits, chains, and had a big Italian flag bumper sticker on his Firebird.

>>8342571
In English, "for example" is abbreviated "e.g." You can just ask Giada how to pronounce Italian foods correctly.
:^)

>>8342570
Then it's a shame I assumed you would be nice enough not to lash out at everyone who replies to you.

And regarding your OP, I agree that authenticity-obsessed autists are the bane of innovation in cooking, but please don't throw out the baby with the bathwater by discarding centuries of cooking experience. Chefs make recipes not to dictate you, but to spare you from repeating all their previous mistakes.

>>8342575
>manigott
Mozzarella with the way this is going

>>8342575
Manicotti

t. wop that uses these terms

Ask me anything

>>8342672
Why would you call yourself an Italian if you can't pronounce the words or speak the language correctly?

>>8341050
It's not that we're insufferable and dogmatic, it's that you cannot cook and have shit taste

>>8342676
Because I was born in Italy.

>>8342678
Who the fuck calls a pineapple ananas?

>>8342678
gawd, that gif, so cringe.

>>8342681
Italy doesn't have ius soli

>>8342686
>american education

>>8342686
Pretty much everybody in the world aside from spics and burgers.

>>8342686
Everyone, except anglophones.

>>8341050
>throw an autistic tantrum if you cook their dish slightly differently to their great, great, great Grandmothers recipe.

I don't see how that's all that different from many other countries.

You mentioned that the French don't sperg out about chicken vs. rooster for coq au vin, but in my experience they do. Ever ask some different Frenchmen about what goes into a Cassoulet? There is no end to the debate. Many French don't use duck or goose legs in the dish, while someone from Aquitaine or Alsace will consider it a must-have.

Also, you ever talk to any Thais about their recipes? Just like you mentioned about the Italians, the only single "authentic" version is what someone's mother made. I've even seen some Thai friends get into some pretty serious arguments about this. Stuff like: "well, my mother's recipe is more traditional than your mother's because my mother is older". And then the reply: "oh yeah? well my mother was trained by so-and-so who was a cook to the royal prince"...and so on.

>>8342701
this. A friend of mine was in France once and he asked in french for a croissant with jam. Not just the cashier, the whole shop started loudly laughing at him because apparently "this shop only sells empty croissant, are you dumb? lololol"

>>8342678
>et wa la!

>>8341050
>I have a plebeian taste

OP

>>8342383
>my opinion of the world comes from shitposting in /pol/ and /int/

FTFY

>>8341050
You sound like an amerifat that is bitter about the fact that your country has no traditions to pass on other than plastic and HFCS.

From Italy here.
>Why are Italians so insufferable and dogmatic when it comes to cooking?
Like the Chinese, we so often see things being passed off as part of our culture or culinary history when it simply isn't and many get frustrated at being asked about it all the time, so they've become complete pricks about it. Not a smart move on their part, IMO.

>They don't just act like it's unauthentic but they insist that it's bad even though they have never tried it.
My mother and I once didn't speak for two years because I dared to make a sandwich with two ingredients she said "won't taste good together."
She wasn't the one who was going to eat it, so I don't get why she'd have given a shit. Kinda hard to give your parents the silent treatment for two years when you're 13 years old, but I did.
So I get what you're saying here. It's a problem.

>MAMA MIA, NO NO NO You don'ta put the cheese witha the fish-a
That's weird. Maybe it's just my region of Italy, but pasta with tinned tuna is a common dish. We add parmigiano to it.

>al dente is tough
This is a point of contention among Italians, too. We all disagree on what 'al dente' actually is. My brother and I like pasta a bit more toothsome than do my mother, sister and other brother. Dad doesn't care.

>carbonara has bacon and cream
The original, so far as I know, had [American] bacon but no cream. Liquid cream isn't common in Italy. Cooking cream, which is similar to sour cream (just not sour) is common, but not typically used in carbonara. Some add milk to it, though. We use guanciale/pancetta because bacon isn't common. Either way, do as you like.

>why do italians cling to tradition?
Our tradition get extensively bastardised abroad which makes us defensive about it at home. If you're not in Italy, we don't really care what you do so long as you don't piss on our legs yet tell us it's raining.

>>8342383
New Jersey is not in Italy, Anon.

Same thing with their shitty peasant 'za

>>8342676
>What are dialects
>Implying everyone speaks the same in Italy
I didn't understand a single thing in Sopranos though

>>8341050
>have Italian friend
>won't eat any italian dish that isn't made the exact way her nonna makes it
>Literally spits out my pasta, claiming it's bland and mushy
>Convince her I'm making it the way she likes
>Make her the same pasta I usually do
>Make it with cheap canned tomatos
>Convince her it's made with fresh heirloom tomatos
>Store-bought pasta
>Don't even salt the water
>She takes one bite
>"Oh my God, so good! Maybe you should learn from Nonna more often"
>Eats it up
>Watch, violently laughing on the inside
>Make sure she really enjoyed it
>Conduct multiple tests
>It's entirely placebo

>Finally tell her after months of us eating cheap shit
>Refuses to believe me
>Says she'd know, because of her refined Italian palate

>>8342638
>I assumed you would be nice

Go back to your hugbox, faggot.

I don't think it's so much Italians as it is people who genuinely don't know how to cook.

They have old recipes and worship these recipes and make it on occasions. The problem is they don't UNDERSTAND the recipes.

You see this with dumb ass american southerners or anyone making shit they ate when they were poor.

"This is how muh momma made it" or "this is how I learned to cook."

This is why they rage when things get changed.

>>8342958
That's a nice thing to say on the internet in front of thousands of people.

>>8341050
>nobody does this because nobody likes tough, sticky pasta stuck to the roof of their mouth

RETARD
E
T
A
R
D

>>8342975
>caring about other people's opinions of you
>on an anonymous imageboard of all places

You have to go back.

>>8342863
Wow I could never see that punchline coming

>>8342688
>i'm 12 and i cringe at everything

italian here.
i believe that we get autistic about our traditional recipes for many reasons, but mainly because most of those recipes have a very specific historical background. all the most famous recipes were invented in times of deep poverty, when people only had access to a very small amount of ingredients.
take carbonara as an example: guanciale (which is cut off the pork's cheeks) was cheaper than any other pork cut, and was considered "waste" by rich folks; pecorino was the only type of cheese available to most people cause goat milk cheese was cheaper than cow milk cheese (and goats where cheaper than cows in general).
in tuscany they make "fake ragù", which involves cooking vegetables in a certain way so that it ends up tasting like tomato meat sauce, even though there's no meat at all (meat was expensive).
so cooking recipes in any other way than the traditional way feels like some sort of disrespect to our culture and history. and all this leads to another point: since most italian recipes are simple in terms of ingredients involved (for the reasons i explained above), making variations or adding ingredients that are not originally in the recipe is considered useless. the less ingredients you have, the harder it is to make something good out of them, because you have less room for mistakes. all the traditional recipes were created to get the most out of those few ingredients, to make the dish taste "richer" than it actually is. the perfect example is aglio, olio e peperoncino (garlic, oil and chili pepper): subject+verb+object, sweet (garlic) + bitter/acidic (oil) + spicy (pepper), everything is balanced, you don't need to add anything else.
that's why there can't be such thing as an "american carbonara": if you add cream, it's not a carbonara, it's something else. a german shepherd and a chihuahua are both dogs, then why do we use different names for them? because they have different features.
"if my grandmother had wheels, she would have been a bike".

>>8341164
>I voted for Hillary

And that's even assuming you're old enough. Kill yourself.

>>8341050
Italians are practically incompetent at everything else in life. It's the one thing they don't suck at, so they will defend it to da tooth.

I am talking about Italians, not Italian-Americans you're alright, mostly.

>>8341050

The Frenchies didn't sperg out and weren't afraid of going against tradition and look what's happened to them now.

Italy is shit too but not France-bad.

>>8343270
I'm not from your joke of a country thank God.

>>8342575
manigott goes with mudzarel

>>8342719
they probably just laughing at him for being american

>>8343481
How's your GDP? Your military? Your average household income? How much influence do you have in the UN? Any flags on the moon? Come on, Big Boy. If America is such a joke and your country is so much more superior, then clearly you won't be afraid of telling me where you're from.

>>8342696
>>8342700
And Asians

>>8341050

Well, they're pretty autistic - Jamie Oliveoil once claimed that all Italians secretly wants every dish prepared the way their mother did it. And besides, they don't have much else to be proud of.

However:

>make carbonara with cream for years
>switch out to a traditional recipe with just eggs and parmesan
>it's way better

So I dunno, OP.

>>8341050
The French are the same way. It's because they're horrified at the stupid shit you do in the kitchen because no one taught you any better.

>>8344221
Christ can you fuckheads not go one second without bringing /pol/shit into every board?
Why are people discussing the cancer that is US politics on a fucking anime site cooking hobby board.

>>8342691
Italy has ius soli for estranged children.
t. a wop

>>8344279
That's /int/ actually. You're welcome my new buddy.

>eating at restaraunt
>someone says "this pasta is al dente"
>they seem to be enjoying the pasta
>so if the pasta is good, and the pasta is al dente, al dente is good
>start saying everything i like is "al dente"
>at a restaraunt 3 days later
>eating steak
>waitress asks how the steak is
>she's super hot
>i manage to shrivel out "i--it's AL DENTE, m-my beautiful"
>she looks at me like i have 3 heads
>she slowly backs away
>not gonna drown in al dente pussy tonight

>>8341050
I don't know.
Bong here, I went on holiday to italy, stayed in venice, verona and Sermioni on lake garda.

The italian food was exactly the same as the italian food in the same shitty northern bong town I live in.
Before you accuse me of only eating in cheap shitholes, these were largely 20 euro plus per course, and the restaurants were full of native italians. Anyone actually claiming that "authentic" italian food is something special is memeing hard.

>>8342619
America makes everything better

>>8344279
It's only cancer to you because our politics control yours :^)

>>8344243
>carbonara without cream
I get that, the flavor is nicer and much stronger. But Italians won't stop there, they'll deride you for not using pecorino even though Parmesan is a fine substitute, or for using delicious pancetta instead of guanciale.

They will even insist that you let the egg cook lightly with the heat of the pasta, even though a creamy consistency without cream (one of the main points of the dish) can be achieved more effectively with proper heat control and enough pasta water, as demonstrated by this guy: https://youtu.be/UsmjAGouZZA

The thing is they're traditionalists to the point that they cease to care about the quality of the dish. Idiots can say shit like this >>8344257 all they like, but there are talented chefs around the world who would disagree with the way Italians do things. They can't even agree with themselves, when people from different regions follow different recipes, each claiming theirs is the original and best recipe and the slightest deviation is sacrilege.

God i hate italians.

dont you guys as well?

>>8341050
Me and my roommate go to try a pizza place near our new apartment. It's traditional Italian. I'm impressed.
My roommate mentions that he went on a trip to Italy with his class in high school, and they got served deep dish.. and because of that, that's what he thought traditional Italian was. Motherfucking 'go 'za.

>>8344414
Explain.

>>8344221
And how is your actual quality of life?

>>8342803
HAHAHAHA REKTERONI LITRALLY DISTROY'D LOOOOL

>>8342803
Americans are repulsive, fat, miserable creatures and their only culture is impulse buying.
They're about 40% non-white, 40% clinically obese, all of their cuisine is just Slightly altered versions of European food, often prepared so it's easier and quicker to cook because they are impatient and lazy.
I don't blame them for wanting fast food , the Average American worker spends 90% of their life working with almost no holiday so they have to prepare their food quickly which is why fast food chains are so popular there. Mom can't afford to leave work early and prepare her family a meal so she picks up Taco Bell after her 10 hour shift.

Honestly, I'd rather be dead than American.

>>8344221
>GDP
the US is either not in the top 10 or barely in it by by the measure of any respected finance organization.
>military
not a reasonable metric for gauging the quality of a country
>average household income
the US is sixth, so basically in the middle as far as highly developed countries go. Anyway "average" is a vague notion and this metric does not measure how many people are well off in a reliable way.
>influence in the UN
China, a known garbage heap, has plenty.
>flags on the moon
congratulations, you conquered a small section of a worthless empty rock.

>>8344507
>explain

You really expect an imbecilic /pol/tard to rationally explain something? Why do you think the word of the year was "xenophobia?" What part of that word doesn't explain 40% of the posts on /ck/ and 99% of the posts on /pol/?

>>8344656
Bottomline, as an amerifat, when I walk out my front door after unlocking 3 deadbolts, I have to be continually expecting a gun firefight will erupt around me. If I'm part of the overwhelming statistics and caught up in it, and I don't have the money to pay for insurance, they'll stop the bleeding, say take 2 aspirin and tell me to call them when I'm almost dead.

>>8341159
>They are great to rape
lmfao

>>8341159
Thanks Achmed.

>>8342701
This is part of the reason that I'm glad that no one else in my family can cook for shit.

>>8343262
Got a recipe for that "fake ragù"?

>>8344257
the rest of the world is horrified by the stupid shit they do on the battlefield so i completely understand actually.
same with the italians, actually. more so even.

>>8345042
there's no official recipe for it (like for many other traditional italian recipes), so this is how i like to make it (cause my grandmother made it this way lol). it's basically cooking soffritto for a long time. you'll need:
a little bit of garlic
carrots
onions
celery sticks
rosemary
sage
red wine
peeled tomatoes and tomato sauce
olive oil, salt and pepper
roughly chop or dice the vegetables (including the herbs). put some oil in a pot (more oil than you'd normally use for soffritto) and cook the vegetables in that oil on a low heat for 10 ish minutes (until you see the onion turning transparent). stir often. then pour in some red win (half a glass for 4 people), let it evaporate for a couple of minutes, then add the peeled tomatoes and the tomato sauce. add salt and pepper. let this sort of tomato soup with other vegetables cook for 40 minutes to an hour, until the tomato sauce has thickened a bit, and the water in the vegetables has partly dried. the secret here is to turn the heat slightly up when you notice nothing is happening to the sauce (no noise, no bubbles), stir until noise or bubble happen again, and then turn the heat back down. repeat until sauce is sufficiently "coagulated"

>>8342619
the pizza in Tanzania was truly dank

my grandparents are italian and they aren't nearly that stubborn about food.

cream doesn't go in carbonara though, that's where I draw the fucking line.

>>8342817
>...with two ingredients she said "won't taste good together."

What were the ingredients?

>>8342383
>my opinons come from other Americans trying to live up to their percentiles

Because that's what recipes are by deffinition, you dolt.
The point is to share in an experience... a specific experience.
Most recipes come from a tradition, and traditions are attached to stories and identity.
When you try to change that, it's a sign of disrespect... and it's also an insult to change the flavor of something ethnic.

>>8343262

Even if your grandmother don't have wheels, it doesn't mean I can't take her for a ride.

>>8341050
>cream cheese and salmon goes great together
Yeah, if you're a kike

>nobody does this because nobody likes tough, sticky pasta stuck to the roof of their mouth
might as well puree your ribeyes if you get triggered by texture

>"People found out that using bacon and cream makes a far tastier dish."
because you're piling on more salt, sugar, and fat. might as well say bacon cheese fries with thousand island onion sauce is the pinnacle of food

Mostly unrelated but when I was a child in Italy I once made lunch by myself because it was only me and my sister's boyfriend and he went out. I didnt know if he was coming back, so I went and bought some pasta and made it. As I was eating, her boyfriend came back and got incredibly offended that I, even asa child visiting italy for a few months, didnt know i was supposed to wait for him. I remember offering him some and he refused. Then he had a whole discussion with my sister about it. And he would get offended when YOU were eating and didnt say bon appettito to HIM.

Christ, I've never seen anyone overeact to food as much as they do, no wonder they get autistic about their "recipes".

>>8342863
>Unsalted water pasta for heart-diseased taste the same as pasta.
One really have no taste buds, and I think it's you for thinking your made up story would be believable.

>>8344221
>How's your GDP?
GPD/inhabitant is higher than the US. But sure, you're a large country, it's literally bigger, and that's it. Feel free to think it means better.
>Your military?
We're bombing in Syria and not sending our offspring as canon fodder. How's yours?
>Your average household income?
I have no idea, on average probably higher than the US. We don't have as many niggers.
>How much influence do you have in the UN?
We vetoed the US.
>Any flags on the moon?
You're the kind of person joking about France's flag being a white flag, right? I've got some pretty bad news for you then...
http://gizmodo.com/5930450/all-the-american-flags-on-the-moon-are-now-white (first google result, NASA says the same thing.)

>>8346242
How's life under the 4th reich with all those rapefugees?

>>8346247
69% lower than your rape rates per capita. Hows your paid time off?

>>8346242
Both the GDP per capita and the median income in France are significantly lower than in the US. Like 40 percent lower. Only the Scandinavian countries, Switzerland and the small banking countries are better off than the US in that regard, but the differences are becoming smaller and smaller.

And it's ridiculous that you'd mock the US for having 12% black people when you have a higher percentage of Muslims who are fundamentally opposed to western civilisation.

>>8341050
I dont care about the rest of the thread this had me in tears.
A+

>>8346263
rape rates have increased in France over the past decades
maternity leave is cancelled out by this

>see a thread about food
>it's actually filled with autistic people stuck in some sort of nationalistic pissing contest

>>8346294
France is about 5% Muslim.
Your country is 40% non-white, you're barely even a white country anymore and in a few generations you'll all be blacker than a priests socks after your daughters produce half-negro offspring. You actually had a negro president for 8 years, that is humiliating enough.

>>8346583
Jeez man. You're hella in denial about your cuck fantasy. Go get yourself checked. Also pointers when talking to Americans, use the more probable option that are Latinos.

>>8341050
> nobody does this because nobody likes tough, sticky pasta stuck to the roof of their mouth

That's what happens when you OVERCOOK it you fag.

>>8342496
He doesn't know that the correct way to write 'for example' the short way is 'e.g.'

>>8342686
Everyone else but English speakers, uneducated fag.

http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/134659/why-is-pineapple-in-english-but-ananas-in-all-other-languages

>>8342619
I just made home made pizza with cheddar cheese, american bacon, and cured dried polish sausage instead of salami
and the bread was thick and crisp enough to pick up and still hold the toppings

fight me wops

>>8342701
>Also, you ever talk to any Thais about their recipes? Just like you mentioned about the Italians, the only single "authentic" version is what someone's mother made. I've even seen some Thai friends get into some pretty serious arguments about this. Stuff like: "well, my mother's recipe is more traditional than your mother's because my mother is older". And then the reply: "oh yeah? well my mother was trained by so-and-so who was a cook to the royal prince"...and so on.

And that really does happen.

>>8342701
tell a french person that you made bouillabaise and see what they tell you

>>8343262
> sweet (garlic) + bitter/acidic (oil) + spicy (pepper), everything is balanced, you don't need to add anything else.

Great post Italifag. This above is almost the same as the way Thais cook. They like to balance sweet/sour and salty/spicy.
So if, for example, they make tom yam gung (sour and spicy prawn soup), there will be a little sugar added but offset by kaffir lime leaves and lemongrass, and salty comes from fish sauce offset by a handful or two of bruised birds eye chillies.

>>8344311
anon clearly was not an estranged child

>>8344367

Merka makes everything it touches shittier than before.

>>8344614
>Honestly, I'd rather be dead than American.

Carry on. The world might be a better place.

>>8344614
Holy fuck I've seen some obsessed yuropoors in my day but fug this boi is furious lmao.

>>8346155
if only she was still alive, i'm sure she would have liked you

>>8346722
thanks anon. same reason why we usually sprinkle some sugar in our tomato sauce when making pasta

>>8344614
It's the opportunity potential that makes America great. If you can't make a lot of money in America, then its more often than not your fault.
That's why they won't improve the public school system.
That's why bad food is cheaper than good food.
Thats why ghettos still exist

America is a land where you're fully accountable for your choices

>>8346148
cum and chocolate

>>8346602
I'll add, since OP may not be the only uneducated idiot here, that al dente is "undercooked" compared to mouth roof sticking pasta.
The heart of the pasta is firm under the teeth, not hard or crunchy, nor has a mushy or too soft consistency.

>>8346649
That's Provence though, they're the Italians of France.

>>8346943
I'm from a well off family but I'm not that delusional about the reality of the world.