/ck/ - Food & Cooking

fat guy at the end there was a bit out of place desu

>>8281770
Wait did I post the wrong version

>>8281756
>Can we have a food webm thread in here?
>Can we post the same old, tired bullshit over and over again?

Posting in thinly veiled ja/ck/ thread

>>8281816
fucking love these videos.

>>8281756

>>8281782
Great! Now I have a craving for cake

>>8281756
>Raw meat
>Raw chicken
Ruined. Ameritards are too jew to Cook their food properly

>>8281825
Not that anon, but got one more for you.

>>8281827

In 2007 maybe.

>>8281836
say sorry

>>8281917
still got (you) though

>>8282023

>>8281817
>Can we post the same old, tired bullshit over and over again?

Fuck yeah we can anon!

>>8281756

>MFW the first jack clip

>>8281782
So fucking fluffy

>>8282039
Omg!!!

>>8281817
>why don't you people make more content for me to passively consume?

>>8281827
>stomach flu

unfff

>>8281756

Why hello there!

>>8283162
This is a meme right

>8281940
you aint gonna get my (you) though

Post the webm with the Mexican lady pouring ramen and doritos along with that other shit

>>8281756
Thread's already shit.

>>8281827
FOOD webms. I know it's technically edible but for god's sake, anon, keep it on topic!

>>8283233
what is he keep looking up at

Oh boy another TASTY facebook tier thread on how to make food for fatshits that degrades into a jack thread

kill yourself.

>>8283352
>why the fuck is this pasty white boi filming me making an egg sandwich

>>8283876
This is why they're getting deported.

>>8282033
>Adding the garlic after the chicken

>>8281782

THICC

>what should we do with this hellmouth boss?
>hand me that wok

>>8282033
>Doesn't brown the chicken
>no prosciutto
>overcooked pasta
Triggereddd

>>8283233
How fucking lazy do you have to be to buy such a simple egg sandwich instead of making it yourself?

>>8283954
Looks fucking awful

>>8283233
why did he put a giant pot of eggs on the fire at the end

>>8284146
Why did you post animu on a food and cooking board?

>>8284166
is this a rare jack? mind if I save it?

also, jesus fuck he literally struggles with everything

>>8284126

you just have to be out of your fucking house without access to a stove you autist

>>8283952
>adding garlic at all

>>8284170
I just figured out how to make webms, so I've created about 8 in the past week

>>8284183
more ja/ck/

>>8283876

>>8281756
kek

>>8284183
>>8284257
God help us.

>>8284146
Maybe he also sells just whole boiled eggs.

>>8281908
Rind down on the citrus squeezer.. WRONG!

>>8281770
that is the joke my friend.

>>8282039
It literally hurt to watch this. I've seen /ck/ reference this vid, but I've never actually seen it. That's fucking horrible.

>>8284166
Good lord! This is a work safe board anon! ;_;

>>8284321
Motherfucking latinos got the right idea.

Lime juice on fucking everything.

>>8284090
Are they cooking over a blast furnace?

Cucking with Jack.

>>8281908
I- is that a viable way to make salsa?
The food those items represent I mean.

>>8286060
guacamole

>avocado
>onion
>tomato
>lime juice
>hot pepper, probably jalapeno
>salt and pepper

It's probably good.

>>8283162
I mean, it's probably delicious, but

Bloody Maries aren't really for the people with enough patience to go through this shit. It's more of a "My head hurts and I want it to hurt less right now" sort of cocktail.

>>8286122
>its probably delicious
what.

>>8286125
Literally nothing in that recipe would ruin taste or texture. (Assuming they strained the infused vodka of course.) Most of it's already in, or served with, bloody maries anyway.

>>8283154
Rise my swarm!

>>8284090
>pan nice and hot

>>8286138

>Literally nothing in that recipe would ruin taste or texture.

lol

>>8286715

>>8284321
if it works. but lmfao i wasnt expecting it to go there

>>8284432
>God help us.

Here's another Ja/ck/, hot off the presses

>>8287003
Forgot video

>>8282026
If my wife made something like that, i would dead-ass punch her.

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>>8287022
Simply eric

>>8282023
did you just boil the shit out of corn you degenerate

>>8284321
>lemon juice on watermelon

FUCKING.

THIS.

Do it once, motherfucker, this is one of the simplest and best thing you can taste.

Jack thread. Remember to report and hide.

>>8287287
What kind of cu/ck/ doesn't enjoy a good ja/ck thread?

Here's a treat for you guys

This is the extended version of Ja/ck/s corndog tutorial

>>8287489
I didn't think it could get more hilarious.

I've seen a lot of shit
but Jack is one of the very few things that can make me genuinely say "what the fuck" out loud

>>8287785
same here, only with Kay.

>>8281816
nice

>>8282023
>not editing "TASTY" some where in that webm

>>8283233
how does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

>>8284126
that type of street food is dirt cheap anyways. probably around 10 cents

>>8282039
What show is this from? Link?

mmm

>>8287261
Also salt.

>>8282039
There's a part 2 of this vid where she tries to open a can with a kitchen knife. Then the producer/hosts finally intervene and stop her.

>>8288142
Lewd

>>8282033
That looks great visually but I'm sure the chicken has the texture of fucking leather

>>8288138
F-For what purpose?

>>8288130
>There's a part 2 of this vid where she tries to open a can with a kitchen knife.

That'd be this one.

>>8288314
How do you not know about can openers?

>>8288289
This shit is horrifying

>>8288255
Japs are sub-human devils

>>8288329
Cool story. Cute little sheltered thing.

>>8288255
you know it is fresh if it is still alive

>>8282039
>>8288314
PLEASE tell me what this is from. I beg you.

>>8281782

>>8288675
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Restaurant_(UK_TV_series)

>>8288675

seconded

>>8284090
A gateway to hell is an essential in any kitchen

>>8283352
>>8283804
This. He's confused wondering why white people want to film him all the time.

>>8288314
She looks like a friends ex gf who somehow knocked one of her teeth out with a pepper grinder

>>8288138

>he has one arm

>>8287010
>>8287489
Be honest with me, is he missing a part of his DNA?

>>8281827
[USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST]

>>8281827
Carthaginian kids could've eaten that chocolate milk

>>8283889

Hahahahaha good one

>>8286715

H E A P I N G
E
A
P
I
N
G

>>8283154
They look so relieved when they turn brown

>>8286681
nigga they infused fucking vodka with grilled cheese. That's fucking foul.

>>8288106
What. The. Fuck.

Is he getting worse over time? He literally doesn't improve. What the fuck is this guy doing?

>>8284126
I suppose in your country just ANYONE can get a food license?

>>8288975
That's a woman, mate.

>>8288986
na thats a whale m8

>>8289020
Just your average brit actually .

>>8287489
My mother tried making corndogs for the first time and it turned out exactly like this.

>>8288063
he must cook them all

>>8284321
>lime juice on a bowl of limes

>>8288138
how easy is it to get parasites from this?

>>8288130
>open a can with a kitchen knife
I've seen TV chefs do that though after watching >>8288314 I can see they're definitely not doing it the way the TV chefs do.

>>8288950
Holy shit, that must have hurt like fuck

>>8288864
I have an autistic brother and helped take of of disabled kids in school. He legitimately is on the autism spectrum pretty fucking sad to see so many people have it.

>>8288289

its attempt to escape at the end makes me sad

>>8283952
Normally, you do this when you don't want the garlic to burn.
Dunno if this applies here though.

>>8281836
that's from a brit company, stop baiting

>>8283162

One of those foods that are probably terrible tasting but look impressive.

>>8288138

Very impressive knife skills I must say.

>>8284166
Is he retarded? These are parodies right?

>>8288950
goddamn she got straight fucking scalped

>>8289043
no wonder he's so surly

>>8287489
friendly remind that this guy actually has a kid. That's right he spread his shitstain genes to another generation.

>>8288138
...Why am I hungry now?

>>8289149
>>8289402
Have you seen the one where the bitch took out like four of her front teeth?

God damn it. DON'T PUT POWER TOOLS NEAR YOUR FACE

>>8289489
Oh yeah and it's always Asians for some reason.

Like this guy:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=rwxklJbZBxY

Do they just lose all common sense when the camera starts rolling?

>>8284321
>lime juice on safety razor

>>8289509
Does seem like it'd hurt.

>>8288812
Who is this?

>>8281908
>the chip breaking at the end
fucking perfect

>>8289513
Ariel rebel

>>8289546
She looks young for a 31 year old.

>>8289085
that's tamagoyaki, not omelette. interesting nonetheless

>>8289431
it's his wife's son
he's gay, but living as a straight man because his religion told him it's optional. he never fucked her

>>8289565
that coffee looks like shit

>>8289575
I hate you and everything you stand for.

>>8289575
tamagoyaki is a style of omelette you cunt

>>8289601
angry to bed and angry to rise hastens a man to his demise
>>8289609
if tamagoyaki is an omelette, then so are crepes suzette

>>8289636
i want her to force me to the ground and have her way with me

>>8289234
Yes it does apply, that guy is a retard. You sweat the garlic first if you're going to remove it or if you're only lightly cooking something. Garlic will become burnt and horrible by the time the chicken is cooked.

>>8289609
No it's a cyber pet

>>8289658
Good taste anon.

>>8289636
If that watermelon was my head and I died like that I wouldn't mind

>>8288975

It ain't Jack, it's Kay's good cooking.

She makes Jack look fucking genius.

>>8284183

Please make a few of the anniversary dinner, like the guy walking in.

>>8289486
aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?????????????

>>8287019

there's no dash between deadass, B.

>>8281782
jesus its like its gonna explode. This is pornographic

>>8283352
Because the video is from the early 00s where it would have been strange to go round with a camera everywhere. Especially somewhere like india.

>>8284126
I love it how you're so autistic that you struggle to imagine a scenario where you're away from home.

>>8288138
That frog was chill as fuck the entire time until it was left to sit in the bowl.

>>8283954
depressing

>>8288342
Nice macho man attempt.

>>8281756

>>8288138
Asians have no soul

>>8288138
I hope trump puts them all in internment camps.

>>8291255
>americans

>>8291389
>obsessions

>>8284175
>wanting to have food stolen by vampires

>>8288138
Looks like they need more bombs, the fucking japs.

>>8288289
>>8288305
Just kill the thing. why are gooks incapable of procesing sympathy

>>8288142
that egg-turd cracks me up every time

>>8288675
>>8288701
https://youtu.be/L0bAc6mc5GM?t=2m13s

>>8291367
what the fuck am I looking at here

>>8291671
Winner of Finland's sexiest man 6 years in a row.

>>8288289
Makes me wonder what ET could do to us.

>>8291197
>Please make a few of the anniversary dinner, like the guy walking in

Attached :)

I love the disappointment on this poor guys face

>>8288142
This is like a reversed sinking and breaking apart of the Titanic in egg form

>>8283876
Same amount of sodium if you drank the entire India ocean.

>>8288138
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>8287511
The earlier part is better where he puts the first one in completely cold oil after spilling batter to coat it.

>>8281782

>>8288821

salmonella everywhere.

>>8282033
>chicken before garlic
>chicken not browned
>fuckton of heavy cream
>cooking pasta in said cream
>almost four cups of cheese

>>8284321

Kek'd hard at the razor, fly and especially the bowl of limes

>>8286138
Vodka infused with grilled cheese doesn't put you off?

>>8288289
>>8288305
What the fuck dude? He just fucking leaves it alive the entire time, you literally just hit it stiffly with something hard, even a rock will do it and it dies and leaves nothing wrong with the squid, he's just fucking evil

>>8282023
>>8283162
>You can tell its american
Filthy Americansis!
Ruins it!

>>8291340
Looks more like Pakistan desu

>>8283876
Isn't Mehican food this way because they have shitty ingredients so the best way to add flavour is just add a fuck tonne of sauces and spices that mask the food itself

>>8291750
Poor bastard tries so hard to make people happy. Do you think people play along with his delusion that he can cook?

>>8293405
I think people play along....which isn't good

I used to be just like Ja/ck/ with my cooking to be honest. I knew how to properly use a knife and such, but not really have a clue about how to make something taste good.

My friends and family always said it came out amazing though.....and it wasn't....at all; it was awful. I didn't realize it though

Finally, my buddy told me the truth and then I told everybody that I cooked for after that that they had to be brutally honest with me about the food when they ate it

From there, people actually were and over a period of 2 years, friends and friends of my friends/family will often pay me to come cook at their house....learned much more in those 2 years then the previous 5

>>8293632
edit:

With that said, I don't think Ja/ck/ is the type to take honest and objective criticism

>>8283876
i am from middle europe and do not see how anyone would want to eat that

>>8293097
The squid was killed when they cut the mantle off, its arms can move on their own from the remaining electrolyte content in the blood. Tossing soy sauce on it will do the same thing.
Havent you ever galvanized frog legs? Fucking flyovers.

>>8286715
why not sour cream?

>>8291750
>not of this world

jack cooks on a level we can't even comprehend

>>8291750

Fucking chose the perfect moment my man

>>8288052

My thoughts exactly. It's the fucking pulling bullshit right?

>>8293902
The way he stares at Ja/ck/ at the end is pure rage. Like 0.01% away from killing him

>>8293796
I think he knows what he's doing...

>>8293933
>I think he knows what he's doing...

Here is jack cooking a burger :) Enjoy

>>8294046
What the hell is the black stuff in the pan he adds at the end?

>>8288864
>>8288975
>>8289157
>>8289374
He had a stroke and lost something like 60% of his brain function. I'm not even trying to be funny here. It's kind of sad seeing someone who is already an idiot become even more stupid.

>>8294062
Looks like... mushrooms or onions in.... red wine?
It stains the spoon red, so it's probably red wine.

>>8294062
>What the hell is the black stuff in the pan he adds at the end?

Boiled balsamic vinegar with raw celery pieces lol

>>8294069

nope, see: >>8294068

>>8289636
I have a fearection.

>>8282026
nigga that's kawaii

>>8294069
JUST

>>8283954
Where's the love?

>>8292607
idiot

>>8294297
in the future, please consider educating them as to why they're wrong instead of just calling them names

>>8294321
dork

>>8294046
Did he delete this video? Tried to find it and failed. Curious to hear what his muppet voice is saying.

>>8294382
When he cuts it in half and pulls it apart
>beautiful
>juicy

>>8281770
all the parts that don't belong are Jack, the fat guy at the end

faggot

>>8288329
>>8289160
>>8291497
>>8293097
you guys are fucking stupid, learn how squids work

>>8294414
G O O S H I N G
O
O
S
H
I
N
G

>>8294448
Because this dude didn't want to explain it; the squid's heart is in the mantle. It's dead and the nerves are still active. Every animal does this when it dies suddenly.

>>8283954
so this is the future eh?

>>8288314
I bet she gives terrible handjobs and I don't know why that's the first thing that came to mind

>>8289575
I also hate you

>>8292697
>chicken before garlic
Not a bad idea unless you like your garlic burnt, acrid and horrible
>>chicken not browned
True, but contradicts your first point. The garlic would be even more burnt.
>>fuckton of heavy cream
Fair point.
>>cooking pasta in said cream
That's what the chicken stock is for.
>>almost four cups of cheese
It's like half a cup per person, perfectly normal serving.

Only changes I would make would be to add thyme and mushrooms. And boil the pasta in salted chicken stock, significantly undercooked, then add to the cream with a couple splashes of stock.

>>8288314
I do that all the time. For cans of liquid like condensed milk or coconut milk, just drive the heel of your knife in on opposite sides of the can (one to let air in as you pour). That's the non-ratarded way to open a can with a knife. Only use a knife with a nice bolster though.

Requesting kays good cooking webms

>>8294697

>>8284166
Has he the broken fingers? o vo

>>8286715
>One cap overflowed
>The other cap was a little short
God bless him.

>>8288138
>When it isn't wednesday my dudes.

>>8289636
I wanna call her mommy.

>>8288289

Why are Gooks such subhuman, cruel, animals?

>>8294793
is that a fucking crepe burrito?

>>8295556
It's a spring roll. That's rice paper batter.

>>8288138
>Asian """people"""

>>8291367
HOW THE FUCK IS HIS MOUTH SO HUGE

Anons should watch Pecolly_official on instagram. Guaranteed keks.

>>8295115
:3

>>8288807
B-BASAKKA!!!

>>8281836
it's jack. embarass yourself more

>>8294101

explain to me how that fits the definition of autism.

>>8296281
Tell me this isn't autism, also note file name

>>8281827
i am 12 and what is this?

>>8296836
Is there anything jack can beat?

>>8297410
Other than his son that is.

>>8297410
>Is there anything jack can beat?

He almost beat a watermelon.....almost

>>8286718
>>8286715
>>8284166
I'm new to /ck/. I gather this is some youtube cook named Jack. I'm not sure if I understand correctly. Is he a brilliant comedian?

If not, then, what the fuck is wrong with this man?

>>8297476
He had a stroke and now has lost the ability to learn and has the functional intelligence of a twelve year old.

>>8297537
Well, that's quite fucking sad.

I'm going to leave and go back to /his/ and argue with theists.

At least I'll always have Cooking with Francis the dog.
Oh wait.
I'll fuck off then.

>>8288950
JUST

>>8297537
Source? This seems right honestly. I've always just suspected that his IQ is roughly at 80

>>8281836
>projecting this hard

>>8282033
Oh god please make it stop

>>8281782

uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>8294481
What are you talking about? It's the fucking past. That's how frozen pizzas have been made for millennia.

I'm back with some more original cuisine, now please understand that this is just stupid junk food all about shock value and selfie potential. Real mexican snacks aren't that bad since it's mostly fruit mixed with juice or just plain fried corn.

I apologize for doing this.

These are called micheladas, originally they were really only meant to be lime juice and if you wanted some clamato (clam+tomato juice) plus the beer but people started going a little overboard and just started adding pub snacks or candy in it, this one right here barely even has some beer.

>>8299017
is that just corn they heaped on at the end?

>>8299038

Yeah, just more corn.

>>8288138
This kills the frog.

>>8297962

go a little lower
he's got room temperature IQ

>>8299027
This is why we're building a wall, you fucking poor person

>>8291340
this
the camera wasn't invented until 2001
this guy's mind is being blown never seeing a camera before

>>8282033
i love the last shot, spreading it apart
>look at all the fucking cheese you just used!

>>8291281
'deadass' isn't a real compound word

>>8299211
>we
So you're Mexican?

>>8293634
Jack would choke you out like he did his son

>>8288821
Whose got the whole webm

>>8299017
is that mayo and coconut flakes?

>>8299579

Mayo and cotija cheese.

>>8298374
That thing looks like it does a somewhat better job than your average frozen pizza production line.

>>8299027
>chamoy
>chamoy
>chamoy
>mas
>mas
>skwinkle

I guess at least in this case I know where all my sides went.

>>8283879
Who is this nignog?

>>8283162

>>8299021
>>8299017
I think I'm going to throw up.

>>8297559
>At least I'll always have Cooking with Francis the dog.
>Oh wait.

WHAT THE FUCK. Francis died??? FUCK.

>>8289636

>Miscarriage.webm

>>8297537
I''ve been on /ck/ a while now but always try to avoid the Jack shit although I've seen enough of it. I legit had no idea he had a stroke and is completely mentally fucked. Makes it sad... I thought it was just some fat flyover's attempt at cooking satire or something. Dang... poor dude. Only seen webms, so never heard his voice either. I guess someone mentioned muppet voice which would have been a big tip if i'd actually ever heard him speak. I just know him as a shitty, silent "cook".

>>8299048
Is this sex?

>>8300112
Nah, man. It's seggs.

>>8288063
classic

>>8300125

>>8291671
Finnish comedian

>>8297416
Why does he have so many meme kitchen utensils?

>>8300219
he reviews kitchen gadgets to keep a steady of content up on his youtube page.

>>8300219
because he does products try out.
they're given to him but he'd probably buy them anyway.

>>8286060

this >>8286116
except he missed cilantro/coriander. shit is dank with tortilla chips or on just about anything hinting at being mexican.

>>8289431
There's an episode where his son makes a spaghetti cabonara...

kid's LIGHTYEARS ahead of his dad when it comes to cooking

>>8287489
Jack would wear his high school football ring loud and proud

>>8294697

>>8300102
Jack was a radio host, I can guarantee that his voice is better than yours and whoever said it was muppet like whatever that means

>>8283154
how is the camera man not getting cooked

>>8294063
i've seen a lot of people say this, is there a video where he talks about it

>>8294382
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3Fb7aByKdE

>>8300447
Don't assume homeboy. I've done radio, voiceovers for commercia;s, and I'm convinced my voice makes me at least 20% of my commission as people are always commenting on it when on sales calls or conference calls. Women dig it. But I digress, this isn't about me. I'll just have to sack up and watch some of his youtube videos with sound I guess. Feel bad for the dude though, strokes suck.

>>8299021
>finishing it with lime juice
Of fucking course.

>>8289486
TOP KEKKO

>>8295135
Anon, you deserve your (you)