/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>8241292
>red bull and milk
This shit's gonna explode my kitchen, isn't it?

>>8241295
It creates ketchup gas.

>>8241292
Can't possibly imagine what direction this thread will go.

>>8241292
>study
Theres just random gibberish on the notebook

>>8241392
Has no place on plasma hot dogs

>>8241292
That's fucking foul. Why would you do that when literally everyone sells adderall or some shit

>>8241392
kek

>>8241443
Adding on to this, it's almost too fucking easy to get yourself a prescription.

>>8241443
Because Adderall is for degenerate retards.

>>8241772
and the concoction in OP isn't for degenerate retards? It's from Tasty so i assume anyone who makes this is pretty fucking dumb

>>8241772
And mixing that shit in OPs picture isn't?

>>8241779
>>8241782
>chef attempts a cunning new fusion of ingredients
WOW SO GREAT WHAT AN AMAZING CULINARY MIND
>random aspiring anon attempts it
WHOA WHOA WHOA THIS ISN'T OKAY FUCKING KILL YOURSELF

>>8241802
Fuck off retard

>>8241806
Incredible. You need to be 18+ to post on 4chan. Come back later when you aren't a blithering idiot.

>>8241802
>chef mixes red bull, milk, and chocolate powder
>loses all credibility

Fixed that for you.

>>8241802
Tasty is on par with ja/ck/

>>8241818
Do you have a single fact to back that up?

>>8241827
Well the webm in OP and that grilled martini shit.

>>8241840
If you think that webm is from Tasty, you are a dumdum. I hate Tasty, but it's obvious that webm is from shit satire

>red bull and milk

>>8241843
I thought Tasty was satire?

>>8241843
Yep, you're right. It's thrillist. still, Tasty a shit.

>>8241881
Thrillist?

>>8241884
Guess so. Just put grilled cheese martini into YouTube and I see a ton of reaction videos mentioning a dude named thrillist.

Where are all the webms?

>>8241292
>stir well
>fucks it with a whisk
>can barely move the whisk
>ends up twisting it like a fucking caveman trying to make fire

That was stirred exceedingly badly.

>>8241292
Just drink an energy drink. Then drink a protein dink after. Why mix it all together and fuck up the tastes. You're a student. You have the time...

>>8242078
What?

>>8241292
Why wouldn't you just eat a lot of Adderal instead of engaging in the forbidden art of mixing milk with soda

>>8241292
>new zealand brand milk
fucking hell lads im sorry

>>8242149
see >>8241772

>>8242190
Fuck off retard

>>8242154
Don't they have anchor in Australia and most of the chink places too?

I wanted to say this thread is rebbit garbage but after that first post I'm not so sure anymore

>>8242192
lel

>>8242271
>puts wine in pan
>sets on fire
>k

>>8242268
very nearly made me puke, well done

>>8242268

Oh man, I always lose to that one.

>>8242301

>>8242406
How does he do it /ck/?

>>8242539
Mild downs syndrome, a 5 hour energy induced stroke, overconfidence and shit ingredients?

>>8241292
yuck..is the people invent this recipe alien?

>>8242284
its a different pan you dork

>>8241772
>When I need to study or focus, I just have a cup of joe! Really gets me going!
>BUT ADDERALL IS FOR DRUGGIE LOSERS
You're just doing a shittier stimulant.
Also applies to tea.
And soda.
And literally anything that isn't water.

>>8242690
>microwaving raw chicken

>>8242268
this is blowing my mind right now

>>8242406
is that raw meatloaf.

>>8242717
who the fuck does a flambe when they're cooking alone?

>>8242268
it's like after my boyfriend fucks me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obBPaB9p-G4

>>8242848
u bleed? blood, cum and poop?

>>8242271
Would this be from an arm?

>>8242958
my boyfriend is a dog and doesn't give me enough time for lube so yes

>>8242968
It's a leg in the series I think

>>8242406
jesus fucking christ i know that redneck "couisine" always has attroucious presentation but why everything he makes looks literally like shit.

>>8242968
>>8242988
WTF????

>Tasty

>>8241772
wtf I hate adderall now

>>8241779
>he thinks this is actually from Tasty

>>8243829
Gotcha. ,`:^)

>>8241392
hoh

>>8242818
probably the same people who eat human flesh

>>8242690
>garnish with peas

holy fuck there is so much gold in tasty videos, we need someone to start creating webms and posting that shit

>>8242941
>everything is cooked in a microwave
>muddy buddies look like a bag of shit

10 outta 10

>>8243126
Hannibal

Webm thread?

>>8244466
How about you fuck off.

If anyone wants fresh webm-making material, check out this and her other videos. She's basically the Europoor Jack.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAmktnEfHDY

>>8244478

Kay is worse because we know Jack doesn't actually cook outside of his shit fucking videos. She actually "feeds" a family

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WhZvyrSeNA

>>8244483
>dumps like half a stick of lard into everything

Also did she fucking scrap off the teflon from a non-stick pan? The pan she uses in that and other videos definitely looks like she scrapped off a non-stick pan, and is now cooking on bare aluminium. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Would explain why her and her son sounds so brain dead though.

>>8242301
>8242301

... but remember, you're the Harlem Shake of your perfectly cooked steak!

>>8245600
Godammit I heard that in his voice.

>>8241292
>newfags dont realize this is from the same guy who makes similar videos tricking people into making mustard and chlorine gas

>>8245622
You were supposed too?

>>8241443
>tfw my adderall connect went dry
>too scared to ask random people in my Uni classes
Hard work it is!!

>>8241772
>>8241443
Im considering trying to get adderal.

Any advice?

>>8245859
Yeah. 40mg. Andy more and it's like you're on fucking crank.

>>8245893
>>8245859

oh, and don't forget to force yourself to eat. That's important.

>>8245859
you can just go to the doctor and tell them you have ADD, they'll just give it to you

don't go get raped or something trying to buy it from the urban youths

>>8245893
do you steal buy or have a perscription? Im thinking of going for the latter because i genuinly have troubles not spacing and having this feeling that can only be described as watery. Im just worried about what to even say to get it

>>8242268
Fugg

>>8241292
aside from the retarded recipe...is no one smart enough to notice they measured a liquid in a solids measuring tool???

>>8242690
Garnish with peas

>>8245904
go away

>>8245898
I have a perscription.

ADD, man. Best diagnosis ever!

>>8242268
>>8242690

Holy fuck

>>8242271

osso buco?

>>8242268
I can't stop. That shouldn't be so funny

>>8246840
Fuck off

>>8244483
I kinda think her stuff is at least partially satire, she sure gets her husband goin sometimes and she's got a funny delivery

>>8242284
do u even flambe you basic cuck

>>8242968
I think it wasn't actually human

>>8242301
I can tell this is Chef John soley by the way he handles his cutlery

I... need to get outside more

I got a whole folder of jack webms I made that I'm too scared to post because I don't want to get banned

>>8248196

>>8248200

>>8244466

top fucking kek

i love watching jack, i wish threads about him weren't bannable anymore

>>8248181
That shit will kill you unless you are a lumberjack

>>8246840
LOL

>>8248181
>>8248220
Why does Jack get you banned? We used to have Jack threads all the time, they were hilarious

>>8248230
what the fuck

>>8248243
It was the "doubles" of other boards. You go into a thread you don't like and bend over backwards to try and make the jack .webm related to it and people react and the thread is derailed.

>now

>>8248287
That's unfortunate. Damn. They were funny as hell.

>>8248287
>bend over backwards to try and make the jack .webm related

I don't think you have to try to make a webm of Jack relevant to a webm thread

>>8248230
>>8248133

>>8248187
looked pretty good until the steak was cut into and i saw it was medium well

>>8248479
is this fucking satire?

>>8248215
honetly the only thing ive ever seen wrong with this is the portion at the end

it seems like an easy way to feed a lot of people

>>8248640
Flyover detected

>>8248196
>>8248200
>>8248207
Would fuck the girl, but never date.

>>8248278
Captcha wants to remind you that better eggs still exist.

>>8248658
Jack pls

>>8248657
dunno man, I'd eat. hell shit looks like that onion thing they tell boyscouts to make while camping

>>8248657
that looks fucking delicious

>>8248196
>>8248200
>>8248207

Gimme the sauce, what is this?

>>8248867
Pat le Chef
>>8248196
>>8248200
>>8248207
ELLE C'EST CAT PIS MOÉ C'EST PAT!

>>8248880
>it's not porn

FUG. Thanks anyway, anon.

>>8248889
I don't understand, some are NSFW some aren't...

https://vimeo.com/38164745

>>8248902
I wanted to watch that girl get railed by the dude in the chef's hat after cooking a delicious treat.

>>8242268
Jesus its like popping a big cyst. Minus the weiner of course

>>8242690
Thats a cool microwave

>>8248230
>undercooks literally everything
>overcooks egg

What the fuck

>>8241392
But that makes mustard.

>>8248658
why on earth does he pour some ice water in the meat?

>>8249423
That's how he gets it so juicy.

>>8241392
haha

>>8248727
I know as a fact that you would never even be albel to be in the position where you could look at a girl and think something like that.
>she probably wont even look at you as something that would even get to first base yet alone fucking

>>8249426
But everything he makes is Juicy.

>>8249438
projecting, the post

>>8248423

that's the point... it's meant to be medium well because it's for people who can't medium-rare

>>8248658
WHY

>>8245625
Do you mean this one?

>>8249884
And this one?

>>8249884
>>8249890
Yes and yes

Time to bust out my webm collection

>>8249892
>>8249890
>>8249884

Last one

>>8249893
the whole thing has a bit less than 7000 kcal and probably tastes absolutely revolting

>>8249922
oh for fuck sake, I've seen jack do some disgusting shit but for the love of god that is absolutely revoulting

>>8248292

what re those brown slabs? Pumpernickel bread?

>>8249929

Classic Jack eats a sandwich like a taco or a taco like a sandwich

>>8249913

MARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>8242818
>>8242284

it's traditional to flambe a reducing liquor to boil off alcohol. it doesn't actually do that, but people think it does.

>>8250014

it's really not

cake batter is an emulsion of eggs and fats stabilised with flour

>>8248640
it seems like an easy way to kill a lot of people

>>8250101
>Cake
>Vinegar

No.

>>8248657
Literally the only one Ive ever seen that looks edible.

>>8250116

well you just exposed yourself as an ignorant person, thanks for playing.

>>8249902
That would taste so salty it'd make you retch.

>>8250086
IS THAT CHOCOLATE ON THE CHICKEN

>>8249797
I can take all the Jack webms, but this fucking one always gets me.

>>8250141
of course it is

>>8250158

>>8249912
this guy is just a fucking troll

no wonder posting him gets you banned

>>8250014
Mayo cake is a real thing, at of all these WTF webm's you're triggered by an actual recipe?

>>8250300
I'm guessing, since I am not him, that's the problem. Mayo is fucking disgusting

>>8250308
Well just so you know, you don't taste the mayo, it just makes the cake really moist,

>>8250300
>>8250121

Sorry lads I don't care if it actually works, the thought of putting mayonnaise in a cake makes me gag. Also with jack at the helm it probably did taste like shit anyway

>>8250339

freaking out about mayonnaise is something you get over when you've cooked for a while. i mean, i make a sponge recipe where i literally make a brown butter mayonnaise and fold the whipped whites back into it. the only difference is it's not seasoned for a savoury application, but so many cakes use vinegar or buttermilk or lemon or sour cream or yogurt and you don't get people complaining. and pretty much every baked good has salt in it

>>8247844
In the show, dingus.

>>8250339
acceptable

>>8249905
Is there anything this man can't undercook?

>>8249913
more retarded than I remember

>>8250014
mayo is oil and egg with a bit of lemon

you've eaten tons of cakes with those constituent ingredients no problem

>>8250141
have you heard of mole?

>>8250087
What's actually burning?

Cool jackposting

>>8241772
so is red bull, retard

>>8250084
Would this stop my boiled potatoes from absorbing too much water?

>>8249929
is that a fucking string of snot hanging off the crust?

>>8249902
>put brick of noodles on grill
>put some green shit on it
>wa la

>>8249884
this is no longer possible to make, Canada doesn't have pennies anymore so you'd have to buy some other thing that's copper

>>8249887
for what purpose

>>8250759
>Canada doesn't have pennies anymore

Nigga are you implying that the pennies all just flat out disappeared? I have a fucking jar full of them just sitting around.

>>8250799
Yeah if you don't want your crystals to be legal tender IDIOT

>>8250799
are you retarded? they arent readily available anymore
congrats YOU have a jar full of them, how aboot you make some of those homemade crystals and make a killing selling them

>>8248278
which part of "google uses recaptcha to train an image-recognition neural network" don't you understand?

>>8250827
"what the fuck" was directed at the webm
the screenshot was just cuz

>>8242690
>microwave 10-12 min
At some point they have to realize that what they're doing is awful but they just keep going.

>>8248200
seriously thought the chef was Mathieu Amalric

his simple minded antics get me every time

>>8251500
Is he trying to separate the egg?

>>8251500
Why is it so gelatinous? He freezed it?

>>8248181
>>8248187
Can someone explain to me why are these bad?
I'm new to cooking anything other than cup noodles and want to learn more

Cool thred

>>8249797
I want to die

>>8241292
THIS IS CHEF JOHN FROM FOOD WISHES DOT COM, WITH...

Mmmh nice

>>8249893
"makes one serving"

>tfw I feel like I might be close to jack since I consistently undercook stuff
there is no saving me

>>8252137
The chicken is going to be overcooked and rubbery as fuck after not only cooking it in the pan but then placing it in a boiling broth with pasta for 10-15 minutes, and then broiling it. It will be almost inedibly rubbery

You should cook the chicken almost entirely set it aside, then do the whole broth, penne, heavy cream and parmesan step, then mix the chicken back in and place it in the baking dish with your cheese if that is how you want to do it. Depending on how long it takes the cheese to brown it might still be a bit overcooked so maybe parcook it instead of fully cook it since heat from the hot pasta will bring it back up to cooking temp pretty quick when it gets mixed back in.

Otherwise it will be like eating stringy cardboard or a car tire.

>>8248187
Depressing

>>8241292
what kind of 3rd world country does milk come in a laundry detergent bottle like that?

>>8246840
Jesus fuck, he's so pathetic.

Does anyone have the video of the Filipino sausage alfredo monstrosity?

>>8249897

>tfw i'm too retarded to open a coconut, so I can't judge them

I had to whack away at the one I got with a screwdriver and a hammer.

>>8242268

>>8252213
Thanks sensei

>>8241772
wtf I hate myself now

>>8241843
Ibthoughtbi somrone from /fit/

>>8252651
I know exactly what you are talking about.
Unfortuntely I don't have it.
Someone please post it

>>8241802
Welcome to the world of experimental art, my friend, where the quality of a work is dependent entirely on whether or not the person making it is famous and whether or not the work in question is received well by critics. This holds true for literature, film, cooking--whatever. One man's "revolutionary" and "groundbreaking" is another man's "gimmicky" and "contrived."

>>8248657
The murican shami kebab

>>8253122
>>8241802
>>8241779

>milk and red bull
redbull curdles the milk, it's a troll vid

>>8252651
WHAT IS THE TRICK.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I PUT A CLOVE OF GARLIC INSIDE THE OVEN LIKE THAT?

>>8250352
No ya, in the show I think it was a misdirection.

>>8248196
Catch 22 man. If you don't eat it she will never cuddle. If you do you're going to die. Hard choice.

JACK FUCK YOUUUUUUUJ

>>8246840

>>8246840

>>8254612
the trick is you don't mutilate a simple garlic + olive oil + bread by nuking some disgusting cheese over it and subsequently dying of blocked arteries

>>8255124
ovens aren't nuking

>>8250899
I'm convinced this man has some sort of mental disorder.

>know nothing about cooking
>only come to this board because I 'm bored
>have no idea why half this stuff is bad outside of blatantly stupid stuff

;_;

>>8248727
>implying ariel rebel would fuck your fat ass

>>8242690
In the fucking fifteen minutes that's in the microwave you can make something decent. Hell, you can go fucking buy something decent.

>>8242941
Why is she doing this

>>8255248
That's why you insult everyone's work equally until you start to figure out which insults work best.

>>8255557
>americans will eat this

>>8255601

That's mexico.

>>8249902

What the actual fuck.

>>8255601
>Poorupe will obsess over it

>>8248658
THAT RING

>>8255765

>>8255802
>second wall

that's mexico too

>>8255557
why would yo make this?
what is this from?

>>8255891
How would you even attempt to eat it? The tomato juice at the end was a bizarre finale.

>>8242268
What am I looking at?

>>8244478

Is she...'special'? Half the video was trying to open 2 cans of beans and emptying them

>>8249894
why would you want to scrub a disposable tin

>>8255976
You renamed it. Nice.

>>8250084
Christ.

>>8255976
I just want to know what exactly he's putting in there.
that shit has to be dank

>>8255802
>>8255557
Both of these combined are still only half as bad as any combo meal at an american fast food place.

>>8256254
Literally egg, salt and pepper on white bread

How is that Dank?

>>8248658
>ice soup burgers

>>8256260
>using chamoy, valentina hot sasuce v 1,2 and 3 , chilli tajin, and clamato is worse than fast food in america
yeah sure m8

>>8242690
after all that fucking around you could have just made eggs or ramen. It would taste better and it would be easier.

>>8256209
The construction reminds me of https://medium.com/@luckyshirt/dear-guy-who-just-made-my-burrito-fd08c0babb57#.1aryk9fpk

I'm gonna need that jiggly Japanese cheesecake gif please. I'm gonna run one out soon and that would be most appreciated.

>>8256725
I got the webm if that works for ya.

>>8256260
you're deluded

>>8256729
arent these just pancakes? like dutch baby kinda things?

>>8256729
That's the shit

>>8256771

>aren't these just pancakes?
>japanese cheesecake.webm

>>8249907
These assholes think they are cooking.

>all these jackposts

>>8252651
This? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-PKO2FrdPY

>>8242690
is it safe to put plastic wrapper in the microwave? wtf

>>8252021
Extra fresh eggs have a very gelatinous white, perfect for poached eggs.
But we're talking about Jack so you may be right.

>>8250071
WHAT THE FUCK

>>8256814
It is cooking, considering it is applying heat to raw ingredients 'til they're done. Fuck, it's more cooking than most people do. A lot of recipes families use are
>combine Sara Lee Brand ___ 1
>combine Sara Lee Brand ___ 2
>mix
>heat up for 15 minutes until bubbly

>>8248479
fucking hilarious
always gets me

>>8248748
yeah imagine the hot as fuck melted cheese and the raw meat inside

yummy

>>8256855
CLAAAAMS

>>8242690
>microwave for 15 min pls

naw.

>>8248902
>https://vimeo.com/38164745
Ariel rebel only does softcore tease bullshit.

she only has blowjob vids out and like only ONE penetration picture.

>>8256832

>>8257170
ye olde authentico technique, just like granny used to make!

>>8257015
LEEEEWD

>squiddo's legs trying to make a break for it

>>8256626
There seems to be some red onion, chives and bell peppers. Maybe some actual peppers as well.

Spicy jalapenos in an omelette can bring some flavour, but indeed, doesn't seem like it would rock your worl or anything. Adding some sauce, veggies or meat in the sandwich would be nice.

>>8257364
>>8257367
did the skid died

>>8256725

>>8257478
for you

>>8257478

now *that* is food porn

>>8257381
Nah. That's how you make many tiny skids.

>>8257478
GOOD. LORD.

>>8248658
IS JACK /OURGUY/

>>8257478
T H I C C

>>8255248
>canada

>>8256729
>>8257478

>>8242818
I sometimes flambe stuff when I'm alone. When I use liquor in a recipe anyway I just set it on fire. It's just more fun.

>>8246840

EVEN IF IT'S A STUPID DEVICE YOU COULD USE IT IF YOU JUST CUT THE BOTTOM FLAT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU JACK JESUS FUCK

>>8246840
All i can think of is pic related.

Has Jack reached a state of true post irony?

>>8242690
>garnish with peas
which you have to cook first, right?
As far as 15 min microwave is fast, it wouldn't hurt to cook 3 fucking peas for garnish

>>8247944
>biofags triggered by separator meat
I never got this meme
Using everything of a carcass is like, the most ecologically friendly thing about meat

>>8258008
>You've reached a state of true post faggotry.
kys.

>>8249929
His facial expressions make me want to commit murder

>>8249797
>rare chicken.webm

>>8249890
>>8249894
Fucking hell, how many people has this guy killed?
This isn't funny. This should be a crime.

>>8249893
>mayo and water sauce

>>8258161
You are just mad that nobody gives a shit about the pasta you worked on for five hours while Jack is known on all of /ck/ and has fun while cooking

>>8257478
H I G H T E S T
I
G
H
T
E
S
T

>>8258177
It's condensed milk, sugar, mayo and vinegar.

>>8245893
idek if you're still in this thread, but over 40mg is fine. my script is 2x 30mg IR that i break in half, so 4x 15mg IR over the course of a day.

>>8247948
literally said
>wuuut
out loud

>>8256209
That actually looks good

>>8249887
>morbidly obese hand grabbing the heart disease drink
Ok, I laughed.

>>8257364

>That lower half still trying to slowly get away

This is why I don't want to know where my food comes from.

>>8256776

>it was in a filename guess it must be accurate

>>8249907
STOP ADDING FUCKING CHEESE TO EVERYTHING

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>8250664
this
>>8248230