/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Carob bars

>>8215230
>feeding children the sweetened Jew

Nice try, JIDF.

Probably the scariest day of the year for a robot.

I'm going to put mini snickers in a bucket out front and go hide in my back room with the lights off.

>>8215230
Just bought 3 bags of Hi-chew for all the neighborhood kids.

>>8215230
whatever hides the needles and razor blades the best.

>>8215290
Or you could just turn off your porch light and play some really dark ambient music to scare everyone away.

>>8215230
My neigborhood got rated the best in the nation for trick-0or-treating by the New York Times or some shit, so last year I literally got like a thousand people. So full-sized candy bars nigga YOLO

>>8215230
I'm giving out two bowls of "treats" one with orange candy for the normal BMI kids, and one with prebagged baby carrots for the fat little shits.

i bought a 100 pc bag of nestle chocolate from amazon for $7

>>8215366
Keep all the mango ones for yourself

>>8215556
Melon was the best flavor

Has anyone ever given out bakers chocolate
? that would be funny I might do that

plastic shot glasses filled with potato vodka

>>8215290
Scare them using your natural social awkwardness

>>8215559

I thought about that, but the problem is that Baker's chocolate comes in large pieces. You'd be looking at a lot of effort to get it in small individually wrapped pieces suitable for Halloween.

>>8215568
Two years I ran up and grabbed a little girl and started to run away with her as a joke, but apparently the parents didn't think it was funny so I ended up in jail.

>>8215230
Mega atomic warheads, atomic fireballs, and whatever other novelty shit I can find at the store

Last year I stocked up on old Universal monster movies and prepackaged apples to give the kids. Most of them didn't care for it, and little shit threw the stuff on the ground when he thought I wasn't looking.

I don't know what I'll do this year of these faggots piss me off again, but I'm sure it'll be the last.

>>8215230
>interacting with strangers
>children of all things

Halloween really is spoopy as fuck

>/ck/ actually gives out some cool shit
>You get left out because you live on a spoopy road/usually out partying because birthday is same exact day

For me it's the McChicken. The best Halloween treat.

The same old generic stuff.

I remember last year that this girl, maybe around twelve or thirteen, came to my house for candy and I noticed she was barefoot. Her cute little petite white feet, just walking around on my porch. I got very turned on, so much so that I ended up turning the lights off early so nobody else would ruin the spots she layer her feet on. I even got a good whiff of the spots.

If she comes by again, I'll give her full bars. Maybe she'll notice how nice I am and walk barefoot on my porch on purpose.

>>8215614

>>8215596
Have a hose ready but you might get arrested

>>8215230
condoms

>>8215614
Don't worry I heard they do Halloween in prison too

>>8215230
Stuff I would be happy to get

>>8215628
topkek do people do this?

>>8215611
>go to McDonalds
>order 100 McChickens
>when children come to the door on Halloween the only way for them to get a treat is to repeat "For me it is the McChicken the best fast food sandwich."
>give them a McChicken afterwards
>do this every year for Halloween
>become known as the McChicken god
>shitposting IRL

>>8215650
Well it is very spooky

I've been saving truffle wrappers for the past year so that I can mix my own shit with confectioners sugar and roll it into little balls, chocolate coat it, and give it to the children

Tedious, but it's a labor of love

>>8215745
I'm going to fill some chocolates with my cum.

>>8215755
>giving children your life nectar

this

>>8215576
Woooooow you are retarded

>>8215539
i'm coming to your house anon

I'm thinking about just leaving a bowl of candy outside with a sign that says "use the honor system" and jumping out and teaching kids life lessons when they try to take it all. I'll also be really drunk and dressed as a scientist.

>>8215864
Dress up like Okabe and it'll be perfect
Would watch a highlight reel of

>Little niglet keeps coming to my house without a costume for three years and expecting candy
>I comply but also give him empty wrappers that look unopened
>The number if empty wrappers now outnumber the actual candy
>I made a new bowl just for him this year consisting of that hard pink bubblegum and lifesavers mints

>>8215920
>hard pink bubblegum

I loved that shit when I was a little niglet and I wasn't even black.

>>8215614
Jesus you need to be locked up on the spot. For your own sake even

>>8215614
and here i thought this would end with you giving her shoes

Reese's for the white kids and mints for the black/hispanic kids

>>8215242
You're evil

>>8215230
Twix mostly twix.

>>8216318
>tfw Hispanic but look white
:^)

>>8216404
There's always candy for you at my house, Zimmerman

>>8216409
If you give me mints I'm going to stand my ground

>>8215596
>kids not liking movies
Sad!

I'm glad I work nightshift, I get to avoid the retard that is Halloween.

>>8215646
You are supposed to give them something memorable like the crackheads that gave me and my sister half a homemade birthday cake. Never going to forget that shit.

>>8215576

>>8215557
desu just keep them all to yourself

>>8216455

>giving out candy
>realize I barely got anything let
>figure I might as well give it away instead of just stopping right there
>two girls show up
>"Sorry but this is all I got left."
>give them like 2 pieces of candy
>"Well this sucks..."
>"Told ya."

You just got free candy you little shits.

>>8215230

>candy

A ziplock bag with a travel toothbrush toothpaste and floss.

Nicotine gum

>>8216666
Wow grandpa you're really getting good with your computer, you made it all the way to 4chan

>>8216685
Do you think he knows how to leave

Is there anywhere that sells those one shot bottles of booze in bulk?

>>8215596
that's honestly a cool idea for people who aren't shitheads because you can get those for dirt cheap in walmart bargain bins and it's cheaper than candy

Maybe for a halloween party or something

Speaking of which what's the best way of buying candy? In bulk? Amazon?

I'm going to put on my qt sailor moon cosplay that I've been working on and hand out skittles, I hope I don't sound too masculine when the little kids come

>>8215242

>>8215576
The fuck did you think would happen

>>8215920

>>8216318
See
>>8217942

why even give to shitskins in the first place

>>8215573
plus I think people kinda disapprove of any candy not in factory packaging, but fuckit do it for the lulz.

>>8217942
das racis

>>8215576
What the fuck did you think would happen?

gonna just give them a dollop of EQyss MEGA-TEK Rebuilder "MANES TAILS HOOVES" shampoo

last year i gave a kid a box of leftovers from a mexican joint, he actually took it

>>8215230
I'm ready for them

>>8215230

What's something I can give that looks cool but is actually disappointing?

>>8215614
If you're not joking, seek help.

You didn't do anything wrong. Just recognize that you have a problem.

>>8215230
Poisoned Jews.

>>8215230
My neighbors kid just about got ran over by a car that crashed into their front lawn and I felt bad for him sitting there crying his eyes out almost dying so I gave him my 2 big bags of candy I had for Halloween. Guess I'm going shopping for more this weekend.

>>8215629

This just reminded me that once I was in the mental ward around Halloween time, we asked the nurses what we should do to celebrate and they said, "We've never really done anything here to celebrate Halloween." which was very disappointing, but this girl said that sometimes at night she just stands there in the doorway to freak people out that walk through the ward, which was pretty hilarious. Occasionally I'd hear people yelp at night.

>>8219794
Some little ziploc bags have patterns on them so you can't really see what's inside. Fill with a disappointment of your choice. I suggest those stupid candy necklaces, religious booklets or floss.

>>8219804
Is he still alive? Damn thats sad.

Haribo sugar free gummy bears, of course

>>8215677
This is actually a pretty cool idea, how much would it cost for 100 dollar-menu burgers?

>>8219903
Yeah he's fine. I'm assuming it's just the shock of seeing his mom and dad yelling and chasing the driver down the road. Coupled with the realization of what just almost happened. He was extremely happy after the bags of candy and I would hope so. They were 10 lbs bags.

>>8219794
marriage

Every kid in my area is deathly allergic to something so I'm just handing out party bags filled with erasers and stickers and pencils and toys and shit and praying none of the little fucks are allergic to pvc.

>>8219976
You're too nice anon, id tell them to fuck off

>>8219799
Why, there's nothing wrong with a healthy foot fetish

Apples in razor blades

>>8219804
Youre a good dude

>>8220041
She is underage. It isn't a crime to have these thoughts, just seek help if the temptation to act on your urge gets overwhelming.

Not a fan of kids.

>git off mah lawn

Full sized mars bars

I live in the sticks and get like 5 trick or treaters a year

>>8215614
Is this you?

>>8215864
>have a headless butler costume
>put bowl of candy on my lap, have a sign asking kids to take one
>sit as still as I can for a few groups of kids
>spoop every other visitor
I made a few kids cry, it was funny. What trick-or-treating with the tricks?

>>8215864
Oh man, this reminds me of a trick a friend of mine played on Halloween. He dressed up as a stuffed figure (complete with goofy mask and newspaper stuffing in his sleeves and pants), then slouched outside his door cradling a basket full of candy. A basket that also had a carefully cut hole in its bottom, plugged with his hand.

He didn't move an inch when passing kids took a treat or two, but if a greedy little shit dug deep for a handful...

>>8215920
>hard pink bubblegum and lifesavers mints

I like both of those. But, then I like candy corn, too. At least when you mix it with salted peanuts.

>>8216697
Every liquor store I've known will give you ten-packs (at least of stuff like Fireball) still in the shrink wrap. But, I've never seen it discounted from a store.

Maybe check Liquor Barn's website. I'm not sure if they'd let you buy without a license, though, because that sounds too much like redistributing.

>>8219905
$100 and tax

>>8216666
Quads confirm old man whitey is the devil

>>8219913
Did they catch the guy that did it?

>>8221449
>Not giving the kids bullets so they have more ammunition to protect themselves and their family

You monster

Anyone else buy good candy for white kids and give out circus peanuts to the niggers?

>>8221717
Yeah. The 2 chicks with him though got away. I saw them running as I was walking outside but I had no idea who they were and just assumed they were running from the smoking car. Car was stolen, had spice in their car that they were smoking and a 30 rack. Kinda sad about the 30 rack. It had only a few beers gone and the cops took it as evidence.

>dress up and pretend to be a statue standing on a wall (fools 80% of people)
>wait for kids to pass through front door adjacent to where I am standing and follow them as they walk up to our door
>they knock on the door and receive no answer. then turn around disappointed to find the statue standing behind them embracing a candy bowl.

>>8215230
A trick-or-treat favorite

bible verses and apple slices

full-size candy bars for white kids
loose after dinner mints for black kids
nothing for latrino kids

>>8222107
How do you know their race if they have a good costume, by smell, fagtron?

>>8222148
>implying you can't identify blacks by smell

>>8222148
Their parents, nigger sympathizer. Or just by looking at their shoes.

>>8222148
>if they have a good costume

I have never seen a trick-or-treater whose costume obscured them so much you couldn't tell their race or gender.

>tfw no kids in my neighborhood

>leave out empty bowl with "take one" sign
>kids come by and think they were just too late

>>8221415
for you

>tfw last year this adorable little family came up to myporch
>older girl takes a handful
>younger girl looks into the bowl and sadly says
"oh, I can't have any of this,I'm allergic"
>god damnit dad i told you to get a bunch of candy for this reason
>all I have is reeses, Hersheys, etc
>the girl was allergic to chocolate
>she looks fucking crushed
>i could tell this wasn't the first house this had happened at
>her sisters bag was way more full
>give her a dollar, tell her that i hope she has a very happy halloween
>almost cry from how excited she looked

I'm giving out every godamned kind of candy this year.

For whites: assortment of candy
For Blacks: "I don't celebrate Halloween, sorry."

gonna make some parents' days

>>8222154
>this. They all smell like weed and hand lotion

>>8215230
>what candy are you going to be giving out to the chill'uns this year?

hypodermically injected chocolate bars. the secret ingredient is plague

>>8222799
i dont think that'll work

>>8222175
I have. Just get them to talk. It only takes a few words before the OOGA BOOGA starts coming out

>>8222799
plague is spread through blood

>>8217942
In what universe do you think this is right? You are illogical and also not very bright.
Suck my dick.

I'm trick-or-treating myself. Hopefully I don't get too many crotchety old people who tell I'm too old to be trick-or-treating. You can never be too old for free candy.

>>8223312
shut up and eat your mints Jamal

>living in Houston barrio a couple years ago
>lol Mexicans don't truck or treat
>getting drunk and playing Forza by myself
>a million fucking Mexicans show up in costume trick or treating
>wtf give them loose change, packets of ramen, blank CDs, canned chili, and slices of bread
>give the adults a can of beer

I guess Mexicans are cool, the kids were happy and the parents started being nice to me and shit. They started inviting me to dinner and helping me with my car and shit.

>>8215614
Top kek

>want to be one of the houses that makes a kid's night
>get chocolate candy, allergen-free fruit candy, toys
>if the freakin' Bubble Boy showed up, I'd have a treat he could enjoy
>suddenly remember that I have a class during peak trick-or-treat hours

I sure hope the honor system works.

I live in a place with no children.

>>8223350
My guess is it was the beer, not the ramen, that cemented your interracial friendships.

Where's that stupid motherfucker that dropped ramen noodles and boiling water into a kid's plastic bucket full of candy one year?

>>8223350
>wtf give them loose change, packets of ramen, blank CDs, canned chili, and slices of bread

>>8223406
>hope the honor system works

Yeah, I remember that when I was a kid. The container holding the candy was rekt by the time I got there, always, and often there was property vandalism committed. I can't believe it would be better now.

>>8223545
With how spoiled most kids are these days, I sincerely doubt it.

>>8217942

>>8223479
It's funny you actually think that happened.

>>8222175

I'm not doing anything this year.
Last year went horribly
I dressed as a Bee and sat in my yard, and gave the kids small jars of honey (cost me about $200).
NONE of them were happy. NONE of them. Even a little girl who was ALSO DRESSED AS A BEE told me 'I'd prefer candy mister'.
Honey has fucking sugar! These kids are retarded. It is also healthier. I tried to improve the situation by wrapping a bowl of honey in a blanket and telling kids 'not to steal from my nest' but that made them take evn less. Ungrateful shits.

>>8223662
T-this is a joke r-right?

>>8223671
No?
I fucking love kids and wanted to treat them

>>8218011
That's just what the Candied Jew wants people to think so they'll only buy approved candy instead of making good, homemade stuff.

>>8223662
I would have loved that when I was a kid. That was a good idea.

My stock from last year. This year is pretty much the same with some added bags of Skittles, Sour Patch Kids and Tootsie Rolls. We get so many kids in my neighborhood on Halloween.

>>8223662
Please move to my neighbourhood. They don't deserve you.

>>8223662
That's fucking cute. It's a shame kids don't appreciate honey though. Honey on toast is my go-to comfort food.

If the kids come by in a car driven by their parents, I give them three or two pieces of candy. If I see them walking with a parent, then I give them a good handful.

You gotta earn those tooth decaying sweets, and I don't care if they live far away. You fucking commit like I did like when I was younger.

>>8215628
If someone actually did that and handed one to my kid I would beat the shit out of them.

>trying to eat better
>already lost 20 lbs in a few weeks
>bf brings home 180 nestle and mars candies

fffffffffffff

>>8224293
Whenever you get the munchies just suck his dick instead.

>>8215614

has anyone seen any "meme" costumes yet? I bet there's gonna be a couple kids dressed as pepe

>>8223455
Utopia?

>>8224417
I went looking for a Pepe costume, but they only had white robes and a hood.

>>8224275
Hey your kids the one who rang his doorbell for free stuff. You have no right to assault anyone!

>>8221751
>>8221741
I actually would prefer the peanuts over candy, they're a rare deliacy for me

>>8215230
A big fuck you. Seriously though, I'm Polish and we never had a tradition like this. Now, it is spreading at the speed of light - all shops do the Halloween decorations, kids dress up as monsters and go off to get candy. English language is now on every street, shop names, products all use it. We are a nation of Ameriphiles.
I'm just going to go out for a drink with a pal instead of pretending I'm not home, since there will be widespread Halloween parties.

>>8224591
Okay, but how does bitching to a bunch of anonymous online going to save your culture?

>>8217942
This.

>>8215230
shitty mexican candy

anyone filling out baggies?

>>8224827
Fucking nostalgiad hard. My favorite was the ghost bag, I forgot about these

the kids get a bag of cookies and can choose a chocolate bar. Pocky for the weebs (left over from sushi restaurants that give them out after a meal) and glowsticks, bubbles or a toy for the kids with food allergies if we get any of those.

normally we get the cadbury mix but we don't get all that many kids anymore and the leave me the plain dairy milk bars and crunchies bar so this year I switched the the Hershey mix as I'll like anything that's left over.

>tfw American Halloween is slowly but surely infiltrating and filtering into other, lesser countries
>Tfw europeans are now culturally obligated by a culture that isn't even theirs to buy candy for children
this is such a good feel

>>8215230
No one ever comes to my house on halloween. Feels bad man.

>>8224863
>Halloween was originally an American holiday
I never knew that.

>>8224916
⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

the kids get a bag of cookies and can choose a chocolate bar. Pocky for the weebs (left over from sushi restaurants that give them out after a meal) and glowsticks, bubbles or a toy for the kids with food allergies if we get any of those.

normally we get the cadbury mix but we don't get all that many kids anymore and the leave me the plain dairy milk bars and crunchies bar so this year I switched the the Hershey mix as I'll like anything that's left over.

>>8224848
>>8224929
>tfw you forget the picture and think you didn't post the text the firs time because of that

I've just got some of those lollipops with the glow sticks in them.
I'm at the very top of a block of flats in a rough neighbourhood and the only kids who come to the door demand money for their parents to buy cigarettes and drugs. I actually go out with friends for Halloween so if any of them come early they're getting lollies and they'll like it (honestly though, I quite like these ones, gonna give some to my friends as well to play about with at the club)

candy canes and necco wafers

Bags of assorted treats

>>8224827
I always got rice crispy treats in the ghost bag, candy corn in the jack o lantern bag, and candied popcorn in the house bag.

>>8215230
Nothing. I won't be home.

Forever.

Thinking about being a socialist bastard and spreading my wealth by giving out full sized bars, but can't find any bulk bags of them. Do I just go raid the checkout line or do I need to go to Costco or some shit

>>8215230
Dots for all the guys and Cummies for all the little semen demons.

>>8225581
Amazon?

>mfw I buy cheap as fuck made with chinese child labour toothbrush sets every year
>mfw I give them to kids every year
>mfw less and less kids show up

Thank fuck my plan is working on the bad side though I'm now known as "toothbrush guy"

>>8225581
Some shit is what I suggest.

>>8216492
This. With your lights off

>>8223662
>'I'd prefer candy mister'

ITS FREE SHIT YOU SPOILED CUNT

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

>>8225627
If your plan is to not have kids come to your door why don't you close your blinds turn off your front lights and dont put shit like carved pumpkins on the porch. And dont answer the door. Usually kids get the idea when the house is dark

>>8215230
there's a bag of assorted mini candy bars leftover from last year that has been sitting at the bottom of the freezer... i will use that

>>8217942

So you're trying to kill the white children faster? what did they do to deserve that?

master race candy coming through

I only get 20-30 kids a year so I was thinking about giving out some hostess or little debbie thing. Any suggestions?

>>8225581
Costco or Sams should have them

>>8226242
you got the right idea senpai.

Last year those fuckers stole the bowl I left the candy in.

I will be giving out viagra.

>>8224293

>Lost 20lbs in a few weeks

HA! No! Nobody loses 20 lbs in a few weeks unless you're on the Biggest Loser or a bariatric patient.

>i was going to make this thread and use the suggestions to buy candy for myself

Thank God someone else did it first.

>nothing will ever replace the feeling of getting home at midnight with a pillow case full of assorted candy you didn't pick out yourself
I wish adults were allowed to be surprised once in a while.

I used to be a house that gave out regular sized candy. I'd spend like $300 every year to buy bulk boxes of different candy. It felt pretty good to be "that house" every year. The kids loved it, and people would stop by my house all day from like 5PM through 2AM. Very rarely was there anything left by the end of the night.

About three years ago, some parents (all white women, I'm sure) started going around in September putting flyers in everyone's mailboxes to inform us that, to avoid any allergy incidents we would have to pick from a preset list of "candy" to give out that year. Everything on the list was either some gluten free, hypoallergenic shit that you'd associate with Whole Foods (non-GMO fruit leather, gluten free cereal bars, sugar free caramel cubes, etc), fruit, nuts (NO PEANUTS), and even vegetable sticks.

I just don't give anything out anymore. I put up a sign explaining that I'm unable to give out candy and leave my porch lights off.

Not many kids go trick-or-treating in my neighborhood anymore. Real shame.

>>8226563
what obligates you to even listen to them

What was your favorite halloween candy as a kid vs now?

>skittles as a kid
>twix now

I go out and buy a couple of dreyers vanilla ice cream and put them in the mini freezer I moved to the front door and wait for children to come up. I ask for them to stick out their hands palm up and give each a scoop of ice cream

>>8226600
D E V I L I S H

>>8226563
THOSE WHITE WOMEN ARE AT IT AGAIN!!

>>8226580
>M&Ms as a kid
>kids now

>>8226787
wuwuwuuut

>>8225736
I do this every year. Blinds closed, inside lights off, no decorations, all porch lights off and every year my doorbell goes off dozens of times. Kids and parents are just that dumb.

I'm going to put out an empty box that says help yourself and don't take more than one

They'll never know it wasn't full

>Put empty bowl with a "Take one :)" sign out my door
>No rings ever

>>8226239
lost
>haha

>>8221752
Where did you hide the candy bowl?

>have a large yard
>quite large
>get 5 or 6 buddies to dress up as zombies
>other friend answers the door and hands out candy
>as the kids are getting their candy, zombie friends start to approach the kids from across the yard, moaning loudly, limping, the works
>scares the shit out of these kids
>just then, I reveal myself on the roof with an airsoft rifle and start shooting the zombies, shouting to the kids to escape while they have the chance

Gonna do it again this year.

>>8227535
Sounds fun, until someone loses an eye

>>8227542
Forgot to mention, not with pellets. I dry fire the rifle so it still makes noise but I'm not shooting anything.t

>>8223350
>Not immediately warming up to the Mexican family in any neighborhood
I haven't changed my own oil in over 4 years.

>>8215230
That spooky bucket looks so happy

>>8225329
frick yes grandma candy!

Helping some lucky kids develop their palate beyond vomit Hershey's chocolate this year

>>8223662
you know what you must do

>>8227656
I honestly thought those were packs of cigarettes for a split second there.
Which would have made your post even better desu

>>8217942
>white kids
>skittles

>>8227668
I thought it was soap

I think I'm going to just go buy a bunch of cheap mexican soaps now

>>8223711
>tfw the wonka brand is dead

>>8221754
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU
FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

I'm giving out copies of my resumé.

>>8223662
They will learn to love the bee

>>8215677
>>8219905
>>8221655
The dollar menu has been gone for years, in really rural areas they're about $1.40, in some areas where I live they're about a buck 60

>>8224929
You must be a lovely person. I admire the effort you put into making the kids happy.

>trick or treating with friends back in high school
>good neighborhood
>get the good stuff from every house, some are even king sized
>one house has a cooler full of bottled water in ice with a sign that said 'happy halloween, remember to stay hydrated!'

the good ol' days

>>8227899
bee detected

Im giving away sourpatches laced with LSD

Gon b fun

>>8224929

fucking awesome, kudos

Is it illegal to give out chocolate laxatives?

>>8227961
You'll have to find them individually wrapped.

The fruit flavored tootsie rolls. The best halloween candy.

>>8223662
That's pretty dope I love bees for what they do for the environment.

>dress up as Walter White
>hand out little ziploc baggies of blue rock candy
>when someone knocks on the door, respond with "I am the one who knocks"

>28 year old niggers roaming around the neighborhoods without costumes asking for candy

If I was born black I would seriously kill myself and just hope that reincarnation exists.

>>8227947
Please give me the leftovers

>>8215576
this is too sad and hilarious to not be real

>>8215903
Yes, please do this.

For Stein's Gate!

>>8219870
Jack Chick just died, so 'tis the season.

Give them the ridiculous and offensive ones, like Death Cookie. Or the DnD one. It's terrible, but actually kind of fun if you have a sense of humor.

>>8224823
Fuck, I love chili lollipops.
Tamarind > mango > watermelon > actual dog shit > elotes

>>8228752
>Jack Chick just died
Wait, what?

Well, shit. I genuinely hope there's something waiting for him up there.

>>8225329
This is god-tier grandma candy, at least.

>>8215230
I will not give the children candy, but I will give them knowledge of how to "fish" for candy, as according to the proverb. See, after Halloween, candy goes on massive sales. Although it's not free like Halloween trick-or-treating, you can acquire truckloads of your favourite candy for cheap.

>>8227656
8-year-old me would have loved to have you in my neighborhood. I fucking love dark chocolate, always have.

>>8228782
Down there, you mean. He was an awful person.

>>8228803
Well, either one.

Just hope there's something out there for him.

>>8215578
>atomic fireballs

Oh shit, those were dope as hell. Godspeed, Anonymous.

>>8228797
I was thinking today that I'd skip the dark chocolate just because it seems too challenging for most kids but I guess there's always one or two that like it

>>8228835
You can always eat the leftovers, too.
Green&Black is great.

>>8228073
that sounds pretty cool dude

>>8223662

Well that fucking sucks.
I would've thought that was really cool to see someone doing something so unique and get some free honey. It's free stuff! See this is why more people should respond to "trick or treat' with a trick instead of a treat.

I'm baking pumpkin shaped spitz cookies. Its easy to make a shitton of them since i have 3 cookie presses and 2 people to help me.

>>8221754
I can have raisins for my oatmeal

>>8228852
Good point

>>8215920

>Halloween
>the only night of the year where it's socially acceptable to be a kid at heart
>dress up as Michael Myers
>scare the big kids
>wave hi to the little kids
>make sure all the white kids get the "good" candy
>tootsie rolls and dum dums for the black kids
>too many black kids
>I didn't buy enough black candy
>still have a whole bowl left of reese cups and nestle crunch
>down to my last tootsie roll
>oh god there's more coming this way
>mfw

>>8217942
>>8215920

>Halloween
>the only night of the year where it's socially acceptable to be a kid at heart
>dress up as Michael Myers
>scare the big kids
>wave hi to the little kids
>make sure all the white kids get the "good" candy
>tootsie rolls and dum dums for the black kids
>too many black kids
>I didn't buy enough black candy
>still have a whole bowl left of reese cups and nestle crunch
>down to my last tootsie roll
>oh god there's more coming this way
>mfw

>>8215576
This thread is fucking gold mine.

>>8215614

LOL! Don't forget to share it on /r/4chan and /b/ for the lulz.

>>8219976
Yours is the house we TP

>>8222175
morphsuit

>>8222727
what if they come to the door together

>>8227975
I still don't understand how they're so tasty compared to chocolate tootsie rolls, which are like dry cocoa droppings.

>>8219976
>>8224827
I for one couldn't stand bags as a kid purely because they didn't sort well when I got home.

I also would refuse to eat any candy or let anyone else touch it until several days after halloween, because I wasn't done sorting and cataloging all my candy on a piece of paper and comparing it to previous years.

>>8230629
if they're hanging out with whites you can assume they're uncle toms, no problems there

>>8230661
Out of curiosity what do you do for a living? or study?

>>8230678
Business major.
>tfw college neighborhood so no trick or treaters, only shitty dudebros throwing the biggest party in the state

>>8227261
My parents never really gave out candy for halloween so after I was to old to trick or treat I decided to do it. First year after I ran out of candy I locked up, turned out all the lights and went to watch tv. About a minute later the doorbell rings and it's some woman in her twenties with a literal baby in a stroller. I tell her I'm out of candy, she just says "oh", turns the stroller and runs over my plants and leaves. Some people are dumb as fuck.

My girlfriend and are going to make out on our porch with a candy bucket next to us filled with raisin bran

I always liked the odd bag of chips I'd find in my halloween sack so I usually hand those out. Not many kids around here though so I end up giving them like 2 or 3 bags.

I plan to offer any kids some Rolos or an apple from a big bag.

I had thought about asking trivia questions and give apples to the losers. But I don't want shitty kids to throw away good food in front of me.

>>8215230
I can't give out candy by law since I'm a convicted sex offender.

Protip: It wasn't pedophilia.

>>8231355
what was it

>>8231355
How old was the kid?

>>8230575
You forgot to add all the reaction images so people know it's funny.

>>8227694
I noticed that too. I don't suppose they did it in response to Gene Wilder's death? The one who first played Willy Wonka in the 70's chocolate factory movie?

>>8231355

it was pederasty.

>>8231365
Pissing in public when drunk and like an idiot got frisky with the cops. Charged with exhibitionism and it stuck.

I decorated the yard for Halloween, but seeing as this is one of the most depressing nights of the year I don't want to be artificially cheered up by trick or treaters so I guess I'll just buy a bucket of candy and leave it out there with a note and try not to care.

>t. the only one on the block that decorated for Halloween
>considering taking down the decorations the night of...

>>8231449
''one of the most depressing nights of the year''

but...why

>>8231471
>>>/r9k/
last thing I want to do while being foreveralone is hand out candy to children like a goddamn pedophile

>>8231484
It's fun if you have kids of your own,

>>8217942
Should've filled a bowl full of skittles and 99c Arizona for the black kids.

>>8215230
Last year I just saved all my candy wrappers and put them in a bowl, I then switched them out for my bitch neighbors candy (they went somewhere and left a taken one bowl), their house got egged by some teenagers and I didn't spend any xtra money.

>>8227975
>>8230635
One of the best things about flavour tootsie rolls is that in addition to orange (my favorite flavour of anything), you also get lime (you never see lime anymore, almost completely usurped by green apple), and vanilla, so you can make orange-vanilla creamsicle combos or orange-lime-lemon citrus.

And normal tootsie rolls taste so unique and also mildly off-putting (especially given how fucking big individual units usually are) because in addition to cocoa, their main ingredient is molasses. The same shit that makes up those awful "halloween kisses" that are always the #1 most shit halloween candy, even surpassing black licorice sometimes.

>>8231541
I also didn't give out their candies, I sent them to my little cousins since their parents worked on halloween.

>>8215230
Apples and green olives for the nice kids. Naughty boys get prunes and seeded kalamatas.

I got a tub of Bit o Honey, soft peppermint chews, dubble bubble, and Necco Wafers lying in wait.

Del Monte Raisins
My Grandfather and my Dad were Del Monte executives and it became a tradition
I am pretty sure the kids hate it but fuck 'em, begging for free stuff, teaches them to get used to handouts and that someone owes them something for doing nothing

>>8215576
>fu/ck/tards will think this is real

>>8231739
Thanks corporate "will" baby. Profits haven't been quite enough for you yet? Have to shaft kids on their one holiday of the year? You're the real goblin, and you don't even wear a mask. In fact, there's plenty of unemployed and broken down workers in USica that support you. Congratulations, you piece of dung.

>>8215230
I'm just waiting for the week after so I can get a bunch of discounted candy.

>>8231773
>Have to shaft kids on their one holiday of the year
You know, besides Christmas and Easter and all the other holidays that are centered around kids and sweets

You get your nuts all twisted up because you find one box of raisins in a pile of peanut butter cups that's as tall as you are and you're only proving anon's point

>mfw i just realized that i should have separated my candies into different bags

>>8215958
>I loved that shit when I was a little niglet and I wasn't even black.
>when I was a little niglet and I wasn't even black.
>when I was a little niglet
>I wasn't even black.

>>8219781
>panties just out of frame
What are you planning, anon?

I've got a Russian store near me that I'm grabbing a bunch of candy from to give out. I expect most of it to be thrown out by overly cautious parents.

razorblades

I'm giving out bags of goodies filled with bubbles and chewing gum

>>8215578
>Warheads

C-can I trick or treat at your house anon?

>>8231773
>Have to shaft kids on their one holiday of the year?


as if no one else is going to give them the same shitty candies from the same shitty stores. yea no Halloween depended entirely on raisin guys house. In fact he's inspired me, this year I'm giving our prunes.

>>8233721
>our

out*

>Absolutely love candy
>Haloween, the only holiday related to candy, isn't celebrated in my country
FUCK

>>8215230
Starburst and m&ms.

>>8215242
Do you live in California?

>>8216621
>two pieces of candy.

what the fuck do people around you give out like handfulls? I give 1 fun size to people.

>>8215230
I got 90 full sized candy bars from coscto so I'm ready to roll. Whatever leftovers I have I bring to my classes the next day and pass around until they are gone.

>>8219843
not really related to the thread, but how long were you in the mental ward for and what was it like?

>>8215576
Anon for the love of god why

>>8216666
fucking 5 star peasant

>>8215864
Be a headless butlet and put your dick in the bucket, greedy bastards will go deep and get a handful for their demise

>>8215576
Fucking kek! Pls be real.

>>8224929
also, I've made up a treat boxes for the parent/guardian with the kiddies

>>8226568
HOAs. You can get into a lot of shit and even lose your house if you get on the wrong side of an uppity HOA.

>>8231493
>It's fun if you have kids of your own

>while being foreveralone

>>8235268
I wanna see a horror movie about uppity HOA housewives driving a man insane until he snaps and goes Michael Myers on their ass.

>>8235218
thats awesome, how many boxes?

>>8221655
no tip?

>>8216455
Twinkies and a sermon about Jesus and the evils of Halloween

>>8223479
Who the fuck took a picture of my fucking fridge and put it on a meme site?

>>8226407
If the asshole consumes less water, salts, and bread for a few weeks, the scale will show a drop like that.

Granted, that's not body weight-loss, so much as shit retention going away.

>>8235844
I've made up 10 but I gave enough to make more if need be

>>8215596
>that guy that gives out apples

Nice to know even children revile you

>>8215230
Shittiest candy:
>candy corn
>any hard candy
>lollipops

>all my neighbors hate kids or some shit and turned their lights out early
>i'm in the middle of the block with a bunch of candy and my lights on
>only a few decorations because they're expensive but house is decorated
>nobody
g-guess I'll eat this myself

Guys, the girl came by. But sadly, her feet were covered.

I'm happy that she cared enough to pass by, so the full bars I bought just for her didn't go to waste. On the bright side, I accidently brushed my hand against hers when I was giving her candy. While her scent might not be strong, or even noticeable, I feel the urge to taste it.

Life is great.

>>8237047
godspeed anon

>>8237047
fucking kek

only 3 trick or treaters came by

oh well, more prunes for me

>tfw no trick or treaters came by because some guy od'd on heroin and died across the street and it scared them all off