/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>8205695
>Has Jack gone too far

That happened a long time ago

>>8205695
When he made that Alzheimer patients dish and tried to say it looked and tasted good on camera when even he clearly visually didn't like it. He's a disgusting pig.

>>8205733
aunt myrnas party cheese salad?

Sage and report youtube shill threads

Seriously, how do you possibly become such a bad cook?
I'm not a good cook, never have been. But I made some seriously edible food by the age of 15 (granted, strictly following recipes) and today at the age of 21 I kind of know what I'm doing.
But the stuff he puts on the table is just atrocious and I can't see how somebody wouldn't see this himself. It's really hard for me to believe that there are people out there that actually cook like this.
Especially as there are enough recipes out there even a literal retard could cook, Spaghetti Aglio e Olio for example. It is SO easy to not fuck up, I think in this day and age with youtube recipes and food blogs and who knows what, it's actually harder to fuck up as bad as Jack than cook something mediocre, maybe even good to very good (made the best spare ribs in my entire life a week ago and it was a walk in the park).

The thought that these people have kids, that I might've been born into their household, gives me the creeps. Imagine having to eat all his shit, this disgusting fat retard telling you that you eat what's on the table, or don't eat at all.

>>8205736
You got it. Either Aunt Myrna is smoking something or an alzheimer patient to come up with that shit. The only thing worse is probably Sandra Lee's Kwanza cake.

>>8205756
Rule of thumb anon. There plenty of people that think they can cook but can't cook worth shit. Jack is just a very big example of that.

>>8205695
What an absolutely incredible video. This is a new jewel in Jack's crown.

You think Jack tapped that before they started cooking?

>>8205756
Over confidence is a symptom of the stupid.

>>8205755
just did it.

No Jack threads pls

>>8205755
Post more mc chicken pictures

>>8205965
For me

>>8205695

is he a secret fag?

i bet he takes some politician up the ass

>>8205965
>>8205972

>>8206002
nonsense

>>8206005
Beautiful

>>8205997
>eat before you eat
>eat something before your valentine comes over for a romantic evening
>that way, you can focus on your lady instead of eating too quickly

This is definitely a euphemism.

Jack looks so fucking weird when he takes his glasses off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Era4tENWn4Q

>>8205997
This makes me want to flip a table over

>>8206035
>jack gets pinkeye

Least surprising thing ever.

>>8206035
that's it, he's a fucking retard

>>8205695
im only thirty seconds in and i can tell this is going to be a disaster

thank you j scraffles for this high quality entertainment

>>8205695
i want to fist him while he has to read fairy tales and he has to listen constantly to the jingle of his show. can he read?

Yeah but he got a wife and a nice house. Sometimes i wish i was oblivious to myself and to everything and end up being happy.

But that's living in the matrix. Can't go back in the matrix when you pulled yourself out of it.

8205755
Doing it on my mobile phone, two laptops, chromebooks, and desktop. I move around when I work.

This garbage doesn't belong here.

JACK IS UNHINGED!!

>>8206079

>>8205736
My friend made this for me as a joke once. It tasted worse than it looked and we even left it out of the fridge by accident after trying it and it held its shape and consistency for some reason. -5/10, avoid at all costs

Report and sage all YouTube 'celebrity' worship threads.

>>8206035
I'm done. He's officially retarded.

>>8205695
jesus christ

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

I hate him so much holy fuck

>>8205695
Fuck off, Jack. Nobody cares about your intentionally shitty videos.

>>8206035
he is the the master of slow cooking.

>>8205695
Just started watching this video, but let me say: if someone ever "surprises" me with a meal from Jack I would just take the hint and break up with them.

>>8205695
jesus christ can you imagine coming home to your wife making your anniversary dinner with jack?

>>8205695
He actually looks better with a full beard still obese

>>8206035
wtf I hate jack now.
looks like i'm a #joeybroey

>not of this world
What did he mean by this?

>>8206708
He's a christian

> Make a comment about the steak thickness
> "It's ok, you can laugh."

Literally no joke here.

> Rubbing the steaks against each other like a retard instead of covering with a thin layer evenly.

>Salting before sous vide
Enjoy your pickled steak. Could have just covered the meat in pepper and garlic and let it infuse with the meat's juices while it is cooking anyway. Then salt, then a little olive oil, and THEN put it in the pan. That way the recently salted surface plus the fat from the olive oil creates a crust. Does he even know how food works? Jesus Christ. I'm pretty sure the "crust" we saw in the video is just burnt residue from the balsamic onions.

>Snapping each in asparagus in half individually
Group them up and cut in batches. Snap the first one and use it as a guide. (This is nit-picky, but honestly, why create more work?)

>Come home
>Someone else's car in the driveway
>It's Jack stinking up my kitchen
I would have been furious.

>>8206708
We'll never know. I see these stickers everywhere and I think "3deep5me".

Whoever created them is the greatest theological philosopher of our time.

>>8205695
That husband seemed so uncomfortable when he walked in and saw jack. I think even oblivious Jack knew he was getting into something he shouldn't have and got the fuck outta there real fast.

>>8206732
It's from the bible. It refers to the true nature of christ

>>8206675
I would have slain them both in cold blood.

Kink Cu/ck/ spares no one

>>8205695
>putting croutons in a salad hours before serving it

Why is jack still allowed but not joey????

REEEEE

>>8206787
I can only imagine the husband watched jack for the bants and told his wife and she was retarded enough to think he actually was actually some sort of internet celebrity chef

>>8206982
Jack is actually cooking.

Or "cooking".

Or trying anyway.

Joey is just a spastic.

>>8205695
This is the most awkward fucking thing I've seen in a long time.

I hope Jack remembered to eat before he ate
if he starts a Cuck on the Go Show this whole thing could get to a whole nother level

>>8206678
I think he looks like and angry child molester with the full beard, much prefer his classic downs-syndrome aesthetic

Not gunna lie, I'd rail Ashley.

>>8205756
Jack is your average dad thats highly incompetent at cooking but thinks theyre a master chef, except Jack figured out how to use a camera so other incompetent dads can watch and feel more confident in their cooking because someone who just cooks as bad as them has a moderate viewer count so that must mean its good and confirms that their kids salmonella is just caused by the pussification of the newest generation.

>>8207082
I think we all would anon.

>That jump cut to the car

That guy threatened him for sure

>>8207026
kek just imagine if it was some /ck/ user.
>wife sees you watching cooking with jack vids and thinks you actually take his shit seriously
>sends jack a message asking him to come cook at your house
>get off work after a long hard days work and are just looking forward to spending a nice night with your wife
>walk in the door and see the man you loathe standing in your kitchen with your wife making dinner
man I'd be pretty pissed too

>want to come home and fuck your wife
>Jack shows up and cooks you dinner
>you have to sit there and eat it

JUST

THAT GIRL IS SEX

>>8206675
Pretty sure that's grounds for divorce.

>>8206035

>>8207485
JUST

>>8205756
Jack is the first person I have ever witnessed to retain zero information from anything he does. The process of trial and error is completely numb to him. Seriously he will just do exactly what he does till the end of time.

>this doesn't seem to be turning out how ive seen from others
>maybe i should try again the same way

fucking insanity

>>8207501
t. stuffy foodie satanist

>>8207485

>>8205695
the cuck king has cuck'd another

>>8206021
>>8206005
2th mc chickens are fucking excellent.
Not even memeing but I only get dollar menu shit from fast food places (nothing else is worth the money) and mcchickens are by far the best out of any chain.

>Jack has a wife and kid
>Many friends that are willing to go through the cringe of making videos with him because they're so close
>So ignorant that he's probably a very happy person

You can cook, and are most likely smarter and more educated than Jack; but he's self-actualized and you're not.
Kill me already

>>8207681
He's a gormless tardo everyone takes pity on. I'd rather be me than be a clueless douchebag constantly poisoning my family any day of the week.

>>8207711
Happiness is relative anon
He definitely has more of it than most of us here on 4chan though.

>>8207715
I'd rather be miserable than be Jack, honestly. Looking at him makes me feel glad I can comprehend my mistakes and continue to hone myself. It is a great feeling to know you were not """blessed""" with ignorance, as long as you can accept the pain that comes with knowledge.

>>8207731
The pain that comes with knowledge isn't always worth it though

>>8206035
>jack trying to gain resistance to pepper spray because he's visiting a club next week

>>8207739
That depends entirely on your perspective.

>>8207731
>tfw Ja/ck/'s purpose on this earth is to remind us that knowledge is pain, hence reminding us of our original sin

Is Ja/ck/ a kind of God's punishment for our quest to perfect dishes? Is he the babel of cooking?

>>8207751
Not Of This World

>>8207751
Yes, and in a similar case, Joey is the incarnation of the sin gluttony. Visit >>>/x/ for more

>>8206675
Fuck. You just gave me nightmares.

>>8207766
but he also gave you dubs, can you forgive him?

>>8205695
does Jack know about /ck/?

>>8206035
jesus christ

i stop browsing /ck/ for 6 months and this is what i return to

magnificent

>nobody knows how they met
at a glory hole then

>>8207750
I'd rather have someone cook me a mediocre meal with love than me making 5 star shit for myself

hehehe hack is my buubby!

I just can't bring myself to watch a jack video, I only make it through a minute or so

>>8207776
Jack doesn't make mediocre meals though, he makes literal garbage at his best and usually makes health hazards.

>>8207766
Jack confirmed for being the triggerest

>>8207786
REEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

>>8207788
Your numbers do not deny

>>8207793
>the patty has hair
why

>>8205695
This guy cucked the dudes kitchen

>>8207804
apologies for bad england, but how do uncuck a kitchen?

>>8207800
those are probably fly legs

I would post the webm but I'm on mobile

>>8207800
it's meatball from aqua teen hunger force

>>8207800
I see you are new to Ja/ck/'s rules of cooking and hygiene my friend

>>8206035
do you think we could make him do other stupid shit if we get like a group of people to suggest him shit?

>>8207831
spare me the details please

>>8207833
Kek you think you can outsmart nature? You don't need to make Jack do fucked up shit, he does it on his own, and beyond our wildest nightmares, every fucking time. I'm calling it, he is a tool of God.

>>8207819
Someone put flies in their burger? Jack is retarded but he wouldn't do that, right?

>>8207842
Oh my sweet summer child.png

>>8207851
s-stop anon don't please

>>8207822
>Meatball
hmm...

>>8207842
>missing the webm/vid where jack stirs a fly into his belashi
you have much to experience

Where are the jack webms? I need some "juice" to complete my night.

>>8207874
are you fucking serious? I'll try to find it for myself, but did he notice the fly?

>>8207874
Please do not pop this anon's cherry. Don't post it. We are doomed and wasted already, but give these guys a chance, do not ruin their minds, please!

>>8207882
mommy pop my cherry please

>>8207881
>>8207882
https://youtu.be/vQvYzk41U9k

2:20

>>8207889
>>8207882
>>8207874
you fools meesunderstan, fly ees good luck charm, whoever get fly in belashi will have many good luck

>>8207889
>2:20
Fucking hell what the actual fuck, how is this allowed I'm like Jesus How??

>>8207889
ok so he either
>didn't closely watch footage for mistakes
or
>saw it and thought "yeah this will be ok to present to my audience"
then again, people who actually enjoy ja/ck/ for what he is wouldn't give a shit

>>8207818
Its a long process but it first involves removing the kebab

Anons, tell me the top 5 or so worst things that jack has ever ""cooked"" or done

>>8205695
>breaking each individual asparagus by hand

Or gee, just lining them up and cutting the end with a fucking knife?

Why is jackposting back again? I thought this shit was grounds for a ban.

>>8205997
This can't be real?

Garlic and onion is the flavor base for literally every dish

>>8208226
who knows

a baneposting thread still up on /tv/

>>8208162

Here are my favourites in no particular order:

Monster hotdogs (first try)
Aunt myrnas party cheese salad.
Bison burger fiasco
Mcormick bag n season chicken
Non-newtonian marinade (general tso's chicken)

>>8208250
the way he says "garlic" makes me hate him more than any other person on the planet

>>8208384
>I like YouTube 'celebrities'
Faggot.

>>8208389
So stop watching his videos you mong.

>>8208393
>posting on /ck/ and not appreciating jack
kys my man

>>8205695
> guys wife is bigger than him

>>8208399
I feel you would be better off on /tv/.
Seems to be more your level.

>>8206728
>>Come home
>>Someone else's car in the driveway
>>It's Jack stinking up my kitchen
>I would have been furious.


you're a cunt, but that was funny

>>8207889

>>8205997
What the fuck video is this from
I need to see this in action

>>8208428
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B09RF0ImYB8

The complaining ITT is ridiculous, if you don't want to see this thread, why open it in the first place. Go enjoy the countless McChicken threads posted on here daily instead. At leat those threads are keeping this slow board fresh and pure for you, am I right?

>>8208448
not even gonna read the thread, I think that the Jackposting is over the line because he triggers actual chefs into oblivion, like, how does this guy have a successful youtube channel type of thing, why would this idiot deserve such a massive amount of attention, etc.

if you still aren't seeing it, just imagine the same situation only instead of cooking it's whatever you're most passionate about in life

like if you were, say, an archeologist, how would it feel to see some dumbass get famous for his videos of ruining digsites and crushing fossils?

>>8208448
Fuck off, dipshit.

>>8206079
His son looks like the islamic terrorist from the latest house of cards season

>>8208494
That show has so much raw reality.
Murder, betrayal, perversion, injustice, corruption, and oh I guess red haired terrorists. Maybe the writers needed to take a breather from that rollercoaster ride of socially acceptable controversy.

>>8207889
>all those people in comments blowing smoke up his ass

The deluded are many in count.

>>8205695
Don't forget to download the app, Youtubers!
http://cookingwithjack.com/cooking-with-jack-show-has-an-app/

>>8208508
and remember to subscribe to Jack on the Go Show for more fun and shenanigans with your host Jack Scalfani!

www.cookingwithjack.com
There an episode where he made soup and left the gas burner on.
It's really funny.

I don't get it. Doe she not know how to cook?
Why invite Jack to go help you cook an anniversary dinner, especially if it's easier than mac n cheese? How is that romantic??

>>8208688
in her mind it was like having a celebrity chef come round, it wasn't just about the cooking it was also to experience Ja/ck/ in person

i didn't watch the video because my autism forbids me to watch that stupid fat fucks face for longer than a few seconds. can somebody tell me what's going on?
so far from the thread i got the idea that some random woman got jack to help her make dinner for her husband who comes home to a random guys car in the driveway to find her with jack in the kitchen?

>>8208719
she invited jack because her husband watches his videos all the time allegedly. When he got home it was incredibly awkward and Jack nopes the fuck out, probably after being asked to leave by the husband off camera

>>8208736
that sounds hilarious but i'm not even surprised. everything this idiot does is awkward and a major fuck up so it is no wonder that this whole idea resulted in an epic fail
>Jack nopes the fuck out, probably after being asked to leave by the husband off camera
just fits well