/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>8165482

Punch him in the face.

Tell him to get the fuck out of my house.

drive to mcdonalds and get us both the mcflurry

>raw vegan
>cook
A paradox meal.

Spit in a bottle of Fiji water and give it to him 2bh.

Go outside and get a handful of dirt and grass. Then plate it and serve.

>>8165502
redpill me on grass+dirt diet

is this the most redpilled diet?

>>8165482
Sir, I can't help you with that. Ask the director.

>>8165482
Heh easy nearby local farm has organic potatos. Serve him a boiled potato.

>>8165516
But that's ableist, Anon.

>>8165482

Spinach from California

>>8165516
>boiled
>raw vegan

nigggaaaaa

>>8165482
I tell him he's fucked because I make dessert for a living. Nothing I make is raw or vegan, many of my desserts contain tree nuts, pretty much everything contains lactose in the form of heavy cream or other dairy products, I generally don't bother to get organic products, I treat all workers unfairly and I sure hope the fuckers farming my ingredients sweated their asses off, the only things I procure locally are pecans and honey, literally everything I make is sugar and fat, I'm white and chauvinistic as fuck, I use racial slurs as punctuation for my curse words and I don't give a chink cunt fuck about your diet.

How the fuck did you get into my kitchen anyhow? The front door should be locked. Thank FL for castle doctrine, I can shoot this asshole without major consequence.

>>8165482
Damn, that sounds like a personal problem! Maybe someone with so many different dietary demands and needs should learn how to cook for themselves, instead of worrying about keeping up with whatever is trendy! :)

>>8165575
>implying bullets harm vegans

>>8165482
A plate of sand

For four malachite burgers you will need:

Four slices of Welsh slate
1 kilogram of malachite

Cut the slates in two. Break up the malachite with a sledgehammer. Divide the malachite equally among four slates and cover with the remaining four. Bake at 1200 °C for 12 hours, by which time the malachite should be a beautiful bubbly green. Cool and eat. Excellent for picnics, as they can be prepared the century before. A dry gritty flavour.

>>8165589
What if I dip them in pig blood?

Why the fuck are you in my house

>>8165583
>not being trendy
nerd

He's white, so by definition his food cannot be white people free.

I tell him this and go back to what I was doing and ignore any further words from him.

>>8165482
Make him a glass of water.

>>8165575
You sound like a trashy person. Panhandle region of FL?

Ice soup

Tell him to fuck off

>>8165482
I punch him in the face, then take him out of my fucking kitchen.

>>8165482
>white people free
But he's white and wouldn't say that, you dumb nigger.

Tie him up and force feed him meatloaf.

>>8165482
He's a piece of shit, but he's cute and fucking a black dude has got to be on his agenda somewhere, so i dip my dick in raw honey and present it to him

>>8165575
People like you actually make gluten-free non-GMO organic vegan hippies seem tolerable by comparison, you're not cool for being proud of purposely being a cunt, go back to middle school

>>8165482
Shoot him for breaking into my house?

>>8165482
I make him an equal opportunity locavore salad, by which I mean I buy some nettles from the gyppos, chop them up and feed them to him

SO SORRY

>>8165482
"what should i get?"
"the fuck out"

>>8165482
>White people-free diet

And he calls himself a feminist.

>>8165482
Pull out a gun and shoot . . . myself. I don't wanna be a part of this new no-mans world.

>>8165482
>Wat do?

I ask him why he asked a white man to cook for him when he wants his food "white people free"?

>>8165482
I pour him 2 fingers of whiskey and say "well played, rusemaster"

here's a glass of water

>>8165482
>white people free
>feminist friendly

Why do feminists love cultures where women are treated like cattle? idgi

>>8165482
Tell Harry Potter to go fuck himself.

>>8165482
Piss into a cup and say here you go bud

What's "poc free" ?

>>8166508
poc = products of conception

>>8165482
Call him a faggot and turn 360 degrees and walk away.

>>8166614
360 is a full circle. So you just face him again. Learn 180

>>8166621
Get out

>>8166683
Leaving this crappy establisment already. Bye.

>>8165482
heat some tap water and brand it as traditional Mayan recipe.

>>8166621

He is this new

>>8166695

lol reddit

faggot

>>8165504
red pills are the most redpilled diet

get ye flask

>>8165482
laugh and give him a plate of whatever i am making then proceed to get drunk and eat my food

>>8165482
slap him

>>8165575
They would like you in >>/pol/

>nobody posted squidward saying we serve food here
this whole site is slipping

>>8168230
And no one likes you anywhere, nigger.

>>8166008
>>8166108
>>8168230
North Central FL here. I'm not trashy but this is a trash thread, so I'm gonna shit it up as much as the rest of you cunts are. At least I have the courtesy to sage my posts.

>>8165482
KILL HIM

HAHAHAHA

garden salad

2ez

>>8168391

I also live in North central FL. Lake City? Ocala? Gainesville?

>>8168391
did i see GLUTEN there? digusting pig.

>nut free
If you're going to do vegan, why would you deny yourself a very important source of protein? Especially when it's not really unhealthy, and ethically, it is also one of the few foods that can be eaten without killing anything (nuts were never alive to begin with)

>>8165591
Sand is too white for his tastes

>>8168778
>organic, fair workers right, sweat farm free
>nuts
pfft, nu-uh. you must be nuts

>>8165482
Wait for the spring, I'll sell you freshly bottled birch sap, that should meet the expectations of even the worst hipster faggots like you.

Feed him my dick

>>8165482
The raw vegan part is the hardest. I guess we would start with salad: lettuce, sliced cucumbers and diced tomatoes. Avocado in the cubes, a handful of bean sprouts, sunflower seeds (would he agree for toasted? if not, then dried). I would ask if home-made croutons would be fine, if so, add as well.

After that we would have a nice mediterranean raw vegetable stew with onions, olive oil, garlic, carrots, bell pepper, celery, chopped tomatoes, fresh crushed tomatoes and tomato paste, some cauliflower. I would add some thyme and bay leaves. Salt and pepper to taste, follow standard raw-cooking procedures.

After this nice meal we can have a plate of kumquat, kabosu, dried kiwi, lychee and some nice dragon fruit and then make out. I wish I knew a healthy and sensible man like this.

>>8168900
How does raw soup even get a taste
What the hell.....

>>8165482
I dont know who he is, but I found a picture of his son.

>>8168905
>amateurs

>>8165589
A strong breeze would harm a vegan

>>8168391
>facebook meme food webm

wew

>>8165482
He's cute. Would cuddle with.

>>8168923

>>8168923
>>8168932

>>8168863
But birch sap is absolutely delicious.

>>8168391
yeah, somehow it's really easy to spot FL people on the internet. And in general.

>>8165482
Tell him to open wide an spit right in his mouth.

>>8165482
Offer him buckwheat and confuse the living shit out of him as I have fulfilled all his baseless desires

>>8168905
>What is gazpacho

>>8165482
Fry some cockroaches up in garlic butter, serve with a side of pickled kale, charge $35 for it and tell her to fuck off

>>8165482
boil him some water and sprinkle some salt in there

>>8165482
"no"

>>8168905
>what is blender

>>8165482
hot water

>>8165575
This tbqhfam

>You're in the kitchen when this man walks up to you and asks for a meal.
I gladly agree, it's always nice to share food with other people. Plus, all the diets and preferences he has are making it more of a challenge! I'll make a raw blended fresh mushroom soup with chopped mushroom added to the blended mass. It takes less than 5 minutes to make - to be honest it would be much better with cashews, but we can try to replace them with sunflower seeds or whole-grain cereal.

>>8165482
sorry we don't have anything in the kitchen that would fulfill your needs, you might have better luck in another restaurant

>>8168843
>not living in an area where pecans are falling off the trees
Nerd.

>>8165484

fpbp

>>8165482
Call the police. How the fuck did he get into my house?

I'm afraid the food we serve here can't be guaranteed to meet your standards, perhaps all I can really offer that may suit your criteria is a complimentary free-trade black coffee.

>using good customer service always wins; plus you palm the dickhead off to another restaurant and blog about it on /ck/

>>8165482
Cut his dick n balls off and while he is screaming in pain bleeding out sautee it with bacon fat, serve it with white rice and a huge fucking milkshake and force feed it to his fucking writhing body, then whisper in his hipster scum ear "I hope you rot in hell you fucking cunt, the game."

>>8170783
With fava beans, too.

>>8165482
Tell him to bring me his ingredients. Remind him that I'm gluten free and kosher, so any food that passes through my kitchen must be too.

>>8165482
cook him up and eat him as
for ultimate irony

>>8165575
Donald, is that you? Why are you shitposting during the debate?