/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>8115418
Buy an avocado and you enjoy creamy goodness once
Plant an avocado and you will enjoy them every day for the rest of your life
There is richness in the soil

>>8115418

Original avocados in the ancient world were actually like that. A giant seed with little pulp.

>>8115425

>>8115418
why did you jizz on your cutting board

>>8115425
hellz to the yeah

>>8115439

>Not knowing how to properly season a cutting board

>>8115430
I'm glad humanity has advanced, then.

>>8115425
Except for in the Fall and Winter.

>>8115455
>doesn't live in an area with great weather all year long
What's it like to be complete human shit? I wouldn't know 'cause I'm sitting here enjoying homemade guacamole from my own avocado tree in SoCal.

>>8115418
>literally cucked by an avocado
>literally cucked
>I'm married to an avocado that cheats on me

the avocado is aggressive

>>8115495
>he doesn't experience all the seasons
Sound awful desu. Nothing cozier than hot stew or chili on a cold winter night. Same with stouts. Taste twice as good when cold out.

>>8115418
>Literally cucked

this is getting out of hand

>>8115495
>Lives in SoCal
>Calls other people shit

Glass houses, etc.

>>8115495

Nice weather is for limp wristed faggots

>>8115418
What's it like knowing the only reason human life exists there is because you've stolen the water from other states?

I hope your avocado comes alive in your throat.

>>8115425
have fun waiting a decade for your first piece of fruit

>>8115675
It gets cold at night in SoCal, silly.
>>8115692
>perfect weather all year
>room to stretch out, unlike other major cities
>cheaper COL than NY and SF
>fresh avocados year round
kek
>>8115712
>nicememe.mov

>>8115751
If it's above freezing, it's not cold enough.

>>8115763
Stop posting, Bear. You are a bear.

>>8115837
I'm just a man who runs hot. Summer is a nightmare of sweat and upset stomachs

>>8115418
*points*
Haha

>>8115863

>>8115418
ahahahahahahahah
serves you right for wanting to build a wall, 4chan.

>>8115495
Fallbrook?

>>8116311
Never even heard of it. I live in Los Angeles.

>>8116339
Ah. Fallbrook is a town near San Diego that grows a shit ton of avocados

Your fault for buying a round avocado. The meatiest ones are the oblong ones.

>>8115418
did you cut through the sticker??..

>>8115418
look on the bright side. you got a free cricket ball!

best thread of 2016, hands down. Nominated for jerrygold

>>8115675
This. Fall and Winter are my fav. seasons. However I'm PNW so I might be a bit biased

>>8115418

I'll give you an advice for shopping those bad boys.

When you are at the store (or whatever) pick one of the avocados and shake it. If you can feel the seed moving inside (might work well too if you hear it) then the avocado is pretty ripe and you should buy, and consume it soon.

>>8115425
cringe

kys faggot

>>8115452
just spent like 400 dollars on a new cutting board and im too scared to use it. How can I best season my new state of the art cutting board.

>>8116447
lol ya i member in /b we talk of the cringy to lmao i freinds says we meet u hear too he says to me look for the ones that says the same as us lmao and i seid to him how to find my freinds and he says looks for the /b comments and im happy that i found you becuase minds me of /b lmao

>>8116457
>400 real dollars for a plank of wood
You literally have more dollars than sense. I have a quartz cutting board that I couldn't nick, gouge or or harm if I wanted to, and it cost like $85.

>>8115418
BIG

>>8116550
but how did you season it?

>>8115418
fucking plant it in a pot and make the biggest avocado tree

>>8115514
A very naughty avocado

>>8116740
with my nut

>>8115418
>not enjoying ground avocado seeds
It's like you're not even vegan

>>8115418
>cucked by an avocado.

Are you Chuck Tingles?

Growing a tree from that seed will just produce more cuckacados.

>>8117452
You could gift them to people

>here have a nice avocado my "friend"
>as he cuts it up and dulls his knife he realized you have bred an avocado without flesh, it's just the skin around the seed
>zimbabwe

>>8117060
>implying vegans enjoy their awful food

>>8116550
Nicebait.exe

>>8116305
Wut

>>8115495
>ever living in cuckfornia

nice bait though

>>8116467
you seem really upset lmao

also kys loser

What are the best techniques for seasoning a cutting board?

>>8117074
Dammit that does sound like a Chuck Tingle story

>>8117060
>enjoying ground avocado seeds
Do they really do that?

>>8116588
GUY

>>8115675

>he wasnts to freeze half to death for 23.5 hours a day just so he can enjoy a stew a little bit better than usual

I am environmentally comfortable all the time and I still enjoy life and have a whole heap of fun.

Strange is it that you don't have to suffer to enjoy things?

>>8115425
W-what are you?

>>8120812
When you're vegan you need all the nutrients and calories possible.
They're like competitive eaters, if it goes down their throat they're happy.

>>8121695
I am that avocuck bull

>>8115495
Prove you're actually in Carpinteria

it's made of little meats

>>8122809
What?

>>8115425
>plant an avocado
It takes 10 years for a tree to fully grow and start producing fruit. All avocado trees in the United States are made from cuttings.

>>8115418
Buy your avocados from a bodega that sells produce. They usually have the bigger cultivars instead of those cheap little ones.

>>8122823

Not all of them.

My grandparents planted avocados in their backyard when I was 8.

They have a fucking small grove in their backyard now, and the whole family gets gifted avocados all the time.

>>8122995

Cool pic. It indicates to me that i have access to 7 hall trees.

>>8120844
I don't suffer. I love the winter. The only time I hate it is when I leave my house unprepared like a dingus.

>>8116550
enjoy your dull knives

>>8123567
Thats a myth

>>8118894
Who the hell is Chuck Tingle?

Is there any way to tell by squeezing how big the seed is?
Any way to avoid being cucked?
Also I got cucked pretty bad by a cantelope this week.
Not sweet and had a funny flavor and texture.

>>8124235
>had a funny flavor and texture.
you're not supposed to fuck it first

>>8124235
that melon aint ripe

>>8115418
>When you buy an avocado, you pick it up and feel it. It should feel heavy for its size and have slight give to its skin. Make sure it doesn't have any very soft spots that feel different from the rest of it.

>>8124235
See >>8125348

>>8120828
FOR

>>8115425
>>8115440
actually you should buy all your seeds from certified botanical places since those have been screened for plant diseases unlike grocery store avacados.

You dont want to grow a tree for two years only to find it has dick rot disease and its fruit are shit

>>8115514
>image

>>8124235
surprised that was not watermelon sambo
>>8125457
U

>>8123516
Hall is the worst kind
Hass master race

>>8115418
I wish I could eat avocado without suffering, damned birch pollen allergy

>>8125919

Americans think this. Why?

>>8125967
I had hall before
It's less creamy and more watery plus it takes longer to mature

>>8122995
are these any good?

>get a craving to buy an avocado once
>don't know what the fuck do I do with it
>"guess I'll throw it (the pulp, of course) in the mushroom cream soup, sounds good"
>it ruins the fucking soup making it extremely bitter
what do with avocado so it doesn't shit on your hopes and dreams

>>8126459
dont heat it up

>>8115418
kill yourself

>>8115418
You can roast the seed and it makes a nice addition to guac, just cut it into thin slices and use it as a garnish, delish.

>>8115678
>he doesn't let his wife literally fuck other men

what, are you fucking gay?

>>8127150
Are you a total degenerate ?

>>8115418

Neither literal nor anything whatever to do with being cuckolded. Please grow up.

>>8115514
Actually, he would also have to be raising its child that it had with another without knowing it was not his.

It's a boy!

>>8115418
Have avocados finally come down in price yet? I haven't brought any since June since they have become outrageously expensive this summer. Was it because the crops failed or something?

>>8128142
Time to update your memes newfag.

>>8115495
And in exchange for nice weather, everything else in California is hell.

>>8128475
Not OP, but frequent avocado eater: No. Avocados are still stupidly expensive. I saw some on sale at smart&final for $1.79 and it's the cheapest I've seen them in at least a month.

Avocados are unhealthy.

>>8123017
>it takes 10 years
>not all of them
>my grandparents planted them when I was 8

Underage b& detected

>>8129953
Citation needed

>>8115455
>>8115455
>Living in a place with """"Fall and Winter"""""

>>8128475
>>8129945
Where do you people live that avocados are so expensive?

They're usually like 2/$1 here in based Texas.

>>8131785
That is government in action.
Texas imports avocados from Mexico.
California has made it illegal to sell any imported avocados

>>8131773

And spring and summer

>tfw your seasons are wet season and dry season

>>8126336
My girlfriends parents have a couple of avocado trees, one of them is fucking huge and gives off gigantic avocados that are about the size and shape of small footballs(american footballs). They are smooth skinned. They look most like the Hall pictured, but the shape is different. I think it's some kind of crazy cross-breed.
In any case, they are fucking delicious and 1 avocado makes a large bowl of guacamole or salsa. They make the Hass seem pathetic in size and taste.
Her parents usually end up with so many they give them away or sell them for 2 dollars each, which is a bargain cause i've seen Hass for sale for over a dollar each here in California.

>>8132177
>$2<$1

>>8132177
>I can't read

>>8132209
Quoted wrong post:
>>8132220

>>8132224
Sorry

>>8123977
Hugo-nominated auteur who revolutionized the Amazon erotic literature market

>>8132209
hass are tiny

>>8129945
>>8131785
You guys are lucky. In NJ many supermarkets like Shoprite are still selling avocados for 2/$5. But it's probably that cheap in CA and TX because that's where avocados are grown.

>>8133635
>hass are tiny
For you

>>8133693
oh yeah, love it when they're 4/$1

also haden mangoes 3/$1

>>8117452
Not necessarily, Avocados don't grow to type, the offspring could be almost seedless... The might also taste like shit, who knows?

>>8129965

Nothing in that post indicates they are underage.

Not all of them could refer to 'all avocado trees come from cuttings'. His grandparent's didn't.

Also, ten years is how long it takes for first fruit. Which is generally gonna be shit/small.

A grove enough to gift away constantly indicates they have probably born fruit a few times now.

>>8134043
Where does this happen?

>>8128162
You need to look up cuckold in the dictionary. It does not mean what you think it means.

>>8136976
Dictionary? I don't need no cuckolded dictionary!

>>8115495
Haha, yes.
Everyone else can suck it. For like the second time this year, it hasn't been 70 degrees and perfect.
It's been 90 for 3 days and people won't stop whining. The rest of the time, we're living in the best part of the best state in the best country.

Enjoy it, let everyone else suck cock in Minnesota or whatever.

>>8115495
>>8139013
>having this much confirmation bias
>this much need to feel superior about something

this is coming from a San Diegan by the way
you guys don't embody our easy-going at all

>>8115495
another san diego fag. LA is a shit hole and OC are fucking pansy fucks

>literally cucked
did you find that inside your wife's vagina OP? if not kys

>>8118386
What is it with 4chan and its hateboner for California?
I'd just like to know why you guys think it's that bad.

>>8140116
California is what you get if you copy+paste all the yuppies from NYC and mix them with illegal Mexicans, and then you season them a bit with a bunch of grumpy old people who do everything in their power to trash the land with shit laws catering to them before they die.

It's like what Florida would look like with money and less hurricanes.

>>8116339
>I live in Los Angeles.

>>8140186
>It's like what Florida would look like with money and less hurricanes.

and more mountains and better outdoor parks. If it werent for the laws in california, I would move there in a heartbeat.

t. Miamifag

>>8140186
>california
>illegal Mexicans

Perhaps that argument would work if you disregarded the fact that California was part of the spoils of the Spanish American War.

Grow up, Breitbart, and open what little mind you possess. You're the fucking immigrant; you trashed it, and now you want to blame indigenous people.

>>8140767
>implying Mexicans are any different
The Spaniards were immigrants too.

>>8115454
weird limes

>>8115495
Tbh I wouldn't mind living in California if the gun laws weren't absolute shit tier.

>>8115514
you must have literal sand in your vagina

>>8117056
kek

>>8115425
why not lay off the fucking weed, eh?

>>8115514
>>8117047
They are promiscuous fuckers.

>>8116435
Are you implying the inside is liquid? Like a coconut?
Pop off the steam thing on top. If it's neon or bright green when you remove it, not ripe. If it's brown green, take it.

are Avocados the Darksouls of food?

Get Puertorican avocados