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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

File: 117 KB, 320x263, fingerless-gloves-fedora.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

8064148

What a Fedora Imagines When He Orders Black Coffee Anonymous Sun Sep 4 23:41:05 2016 No.8064148 [DELETED]

[DELETED]

[Reply] [Original]

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 4 23:49:49 2016 No.8064179 why does it offend you so, that I like my coffee plain?

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 4 23:50:08 2016 No.8064180 >being so insecure that you extensively over analyze mundane things into being "pretentious"

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 4 23:50:39 2016 No.8064183 File: 4 KB, 344x326, 1336365696909.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] /ck/ doesn't deserve posts like these. Why do you do this?

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 4 23:51:39 2016 No.8064185 >>8064183 Oh fuck off. This is what 4chan was built for. >inb4 banned by the cuck janny for triggering him too hard

>>

Anonymous Sun Sep 4 23:51:50 2016 No.8064187

>>8064179
someone once said "milk and sugar are for babies" and he took it so personally that it assaults his ego to the very core. Every time he utters "sugar" to the coffee store employee he winces inside, and quickly glances around to make sure no one is judging him, even though no one gives a shit in reality. He does this to overcompensate.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 4 23:57:39 2016 No.8064194 File: 47 KB, 640x480, 1449627917985.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8064148 >>8064185 are you 12?

>>

Anonymous Sun Sep 4 23:59:28 2016 No.8064199

>>8064148
See that alien man in your OP? Go back there, they miss you.

>>8064185
No, it's what /b/ was made for. Its a containment board for newfucks like you.
/ck/ is a place of both productive insight and scathing banter, much like a busy restaurant's kitchen.
Take your fedoralord bullshit back to /r9k/ or /v/ or wherever the hell you came from, your stench is bringing flies to the kitchen.

>>8064194
Thank you

>>

Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:00:48 2016 No.8064205
File: 305 KB, 1000x1000, 1401160961475.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8064185
>This is what 4chan was built for.
No. No it's not.

You have completely missed the entire point of this website.
Being shitty and obnoxious is a consequence of what we are, NOT the objective.

Why on earth did you think that we would celebrate you for posting like this?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:02:43 2016 No.8064210 classic pasta, you really baited them good this time

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:07:48 2016 No.8064222 >>8064194 >>8064199 >>8064205 >b-b-but 4chan is meant to be taken seriously!! >b-b-but I need muh serious discussion :( Reddit is probably more your speed. Hell, even Funnyjunk or the Gaia forums would welcome your kind.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:08:30 2016 No.8064226 >>8064222 Trips confirm. Based.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:09:01 2016 No.8064227 File: 237 KB, 1100x1380, 1355739283325.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8064222 trips don't lie

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:11:56 2016 No.8064231 >>8064222 Can someone people explain to me why is this memespewing fuckwad telling other people to fuck off to reddit?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:14:53 2016 No.8064235 >>8064148 Someone wrote this

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:18:13 2016 No.8064242 >>8064222 You have to be 18 to post here. >>8064231 You're even worse than he is honestly. Fuck yourself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:18:25 2016 No.8064243 File: 155 KB, 1280x720, 1465412061703.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >fedoras are so triggered by an accurate portrayal of their behavior that they cry and shit themselves while waiting for mods to save them

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:19:50 2016 No.8064244 >>8064148 I drink my coffee black and my water unmolested. I'M A PEOPLE PERSON, I TAKE THE GODDAMN REPORTS TO THE ENGINEERS FROM THE CUSTOMERS. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:20:04 2016 No.8064245 >>8064242 >You're even worse than he is honestly Nope.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:20:22 2016 No.8064246 >>8064231 No, but I can explain why you need to be gassed.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:21:10 2016 No.8064247 >>8064231 >bawwwww he hurt muh feels save me reddit :'^(

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:21:15 2016 No.8064249 >>8064246 What, do you want an apology for not recognizing how great this thread is?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:21:58 2016 No.8064252 >>8064249 I want you to stop posting.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:22:35 2016 No.8064253 Reddit is so much better than this shithole.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:22:48 2016 No.8064254 I love my coffee French-pressed and a fifth of it being creamer. I want so much creamer in there that I am simply incapable of tasting the bitter.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:23:10 2016 No.8064257 File: 658 KB, 300x281, 1456511912559.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Reply to this post with "thanks doc" or your mother will die in her sleep tonight

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:23:44 2016 No.8064259 >>8064252 Calling OP a faggot and telling him to fuck off is the least offensive thing in this thread. Take your autism and put it into something constructive.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:24:34 2016 No.8064261 >>8064257 You are so rectumragnarocked that you're attempting to nuke this thread from orbit. Absolutely phenomenal.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:24:50 2016 No.8064263 >>8064259 Just walk away.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:25:28 2016 No.8064266 >>8064257 Thanks doc

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:25:36 2016 No.8064267 >>8064199 You've never worked a kitchen in your life faggot.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:26:01 2016 No.8064269 >>8064263 Serious question, are you even saging right now?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:26:34 2016 No.8064270 >>8064269 >saging Literally what?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:27:38 2016 No.8064273 >>8064253 please stay there cucklord

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:27:43 2016 No.8064274 >>8064269 Yes. Taking away the ability to see when a post is Saging is the worst thing to happen to 4chan. There was nothing like seeing a shit thread get Sage bombed.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:28:22 2016 No.8064277 >>8064269 >>8064274 >MUH oldfaggery

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:29:30 2016 No.8064284 File: 7 KB, 217x165, yeah.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8064270 >>8064277 Read the FAQ for once in your life. Fuck.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:30:33 2016 No.8064288 >>8064274 Alright, good. I can walk away happily as long as I know that.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:30:44 2016 No.8064290 >>8064284 Kill yourself faggot

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:31:14 2016 No.8064291 File: 68 KB, 645x773, 1441412386592.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >tfw too intelligent to drink coffee

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:32:38 2016 No.8064296 >>8064290 You'll need to be angrier and edgier than that if you want to fit in with the cool kids. C'mon. You wanna be like us oldfags, don'tcha?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:33:31 2016 No.8064300 >>8064199 >>8064222 >>8064244 >>8064266 >>8064277 >>8064288 I'm really craving Fazoli's.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:38:37 2016 No.8064310 >>8064257 Thanks doc

>>

Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:43:40 2016 No.8064320
File: 683 KB, 436x1247, tmp_13196-Midora has had enough of your shit1361457935.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8064267
Fuck you yes I have, 4/5 upper-middle class bar and grill specializing in modern spins on comfort food, St Louis Missouri.
I served and bussed tables, I've been in a kitchen during a dinner rush before you presumptuous shit.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:44:32 2016 No.8064322 >>8064257 Thanks doc

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:46:22 2016 No.8064326 >>8064320 You've eaten at those places but you've never actually worked in the kitchen. Top lel, busboy.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:48:53 2016 No.8064329 >>8064148 go back to fucking reddit, you insufferable autist nobody finds these over exaggerated "le cringy XDDD" scenarios funny anymore

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:49:08 2016 No.8064330 >>8064326 Huh?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 00:51:13 2016 No.8064334 >>8064329 [triggered]

>>

Anonymous Mon Sep 5 01:10:43 2016 No.8064369

>>8064148
I don't see the point. If I put cold milk and sugar in the coffee, it doesn't improve the coffee, it just adds fucking milk and sweetness. But I can still taste the coffee, it's just diluted. So I solved this problem by getting better coffee.

>ordering actual coffee at Starbucks

You fucked up, son.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 01:12:52 2016 No.8064371 File: 537 KB, 600x900, 1468889214163.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8064222 >>8064148 I don't even give you the benefit of considering you're just pretending to be stupid. Go back to /v/.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 01:33:33 2016 No.8064424 >>8064257 Thanks doc

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 01:40:56 2016 No.8064436 >>8064257 Thanks doc

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 01:47:20 2016 No.8064452 >>8064257 thanks doc

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 01:47:38 2016 No.8064453 >>8064257 fuck you thanks doc just in case

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 02:04:22 2016 No.8064480 >>8064257 Thanks doc

>>

Anonymous Mon Sep 5 02:26:47 2016 No.8064502

>>8064148
I drink black coffee on regular basis as i like the bitter taste that it gives off after you swallow it, unlike the cum taste that you get after your barista milks his cock in your coffee to make it white.

There is literally nothing wrong with drinking black coffee.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 02:29:51 2016 No.8064507 Coffee is the biggest food meme Its just a way for speed addicts to get high and shit bean juice out their assholes.

>>

Anonymous Mon Sep 5 02:33:52 2016 No.8064509
File: 34 KB, 480x640, ay6ntd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>ask for a coffee
>we have a special today on blah blah
>OK can I just get a macchiato (so you will shut up)?
>naw but this specaiaaaall

Goddammit I don't care I just came here for coffee. Fucking starbucks.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 5 02:38:10 2016 No.8064512 >>8064257 thanks doc