/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Does Britain have the worst food culture of the world?
The only thing that saves living here is the availability of food from other cultures.

this thread

>2 posters
Lame thread desu

>>8018694
Now it's 3

>>8018676
American detected

>>8018701
What's really wrong with it besides the name?

>>8018666
Britain has a lot of heritage breed pigs and animals which have very different tastes

>>8018706
Nothing.

It's just British food.

>>8018707
Oh FUCK NO
The Brits have gone too far.

>>8018706
It's British and is therefore bland.

https://youtu.be/693SKamP81I

Gotta respect the guys, just an honest day's work making food for the fellow working man

There used to be one Harry Ramsden's in Melbourne but it closed like 15 years ago. Maybe more. I'm 31 now and must have been 14 or 15 last time I had it. I remember it being delicious but no one idea if it was to do with me being a kid.

>>8018644
It's an extremely plain diet the secret to conquering the world?

>>8018735

>>8018744
My mouth's dry just looking at that salty image.
The rest of Europe is so jealous of the fact that the UK and USA are so much better than them, that they have nothing left to do other than circle jerk over their own shitty pretentious food and claim it's better.

Amerilard here who always wanted to try a pork pie. Are these things pretty gud?

>>8018704
SHART
H
A
R
T

>>8018816
Yes. However, Colman's mustard needs to be applied to the pie before consumption.

>>8018816
no gravy, no pie.

>>8018853
>gravy on a pork pie
'murica

>>8018816
that looks vile, like a spam pie

>>8018860
>spam pie
Retard.

>>8018653
British baked beans always look so tasty.

A classic

>>8018816

they're good as fuck if they're left in the sun for a few hours

>it's the daily shit on British food thread

>>8018965
>Needing to shit on British food
It's shit from the getgo

Had some Fish n Chips in a little village called Kirkby Malham. Best haddock of my life

>>8018644
Some of the best food in the world is made by the British. Gordon Ramsay for instance is the worlds most famous, beloved and cherished British chef.

You're just cherrypicking a few bad examples. British cuisine is very broad and has a multitude of complex flavors.

>>8018972
hammock*
Fucking autocorrect

>>8018816
don't bother coming to London for it, there's practically no pork or pig products to be had because it's not halal

>>8018972
I had so much fish n chips last time i went to England, I get sick just by the thought of it

>>8018989
Cretin.

>>8018989
U havin a giggle m80. I meant haddock, don't pretend to be me pls.

>>8018989

>I've never been to England, and certainly not to London, one of the most diverse food cultures in the world

>>8018989
What a cunt!

>>8018816
fucking great by itself as a spot of lunch, although if you've never had one before you might find the gelatin that seals the pork to the pastry a bit odd.

myself personally, I absolutely adore it just warmed up with some mushy peas and mint sauce on top

>>8018997
Why the fuck do british people call hammocks into haddocks? am I msising something here?

>>8019028
That sounds disgusting, where is the spices? In India where I am from we have many more dishes that don't contain meat but have mushy peas and sauces with mint.

>>8019030
>Why the fuck do british people call hammocks into haddocks?

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

>>8019033
>That sounds disgusting, where is the spices?

Mixed in with the pork.

>>8019045
In India we don't make pies we make the curries in England too

>>8019046
Okay. Nice blog post.

>>8018666

only if you are poor and/or lazy. the UK has excellent meat and seafood and many easy recipes.

the problem is that the vast majority of the population are working class scum who eat shit.

>>8018644
British what thread?

>>8019048
>>8019048
Pies are a poor peoples food when their wives arent having enough time to make the husband food so they cook with an oven instead of a traditional pot and pan. In India our women care about the qualify of food we eat but in Britain your women only make bad food because they are misbehaved and don't know how to make the food. Britain stole spices from India but their food is still bland because Indians have to make the curries for them or else they would starve because their wifes never feed them good foods.

>>8018666
That appears to be a hand-made black pudding, which is delicious, bacon, which is delicious, and pork sausages: which are delicious.

Are all these "British food" threads started by vegans?

>>8019060
>Britain stole spices from India

No it didn't. Britain owned India and therefore all the spices in India.

>>8018729
>mfw every country with fish and potatoes does fish and chips but only the brits are so deprived of culinary culture that they call it a national dish

I present you chicken haba laba ding dong, the national food of New Pakistan (England for you uninformed)

>>8019073
>the brits...call [Fish & Chips] a national dish

Found the American.

>>8019060
Jesus India, make a fucking effort. Horrendous attempt at banter.

>>8019067
Indians own Britain thats why you never see whites in India but in Britain there are many curry shops and successful business Indian doctors. British people invaded the country but Indians always had the power, Google Punjabi power trio secret british control influence cartel. Princess Diana was assassinated because she was in love with an Indian man for instance.

India sold their spices to British because they felt sorry about their bland bad disgusting pig shit food and felt bad about inbred people stuck on the big island so they let them pretend to be in charge while Indians pulled the strings.

If it werent for our spices British cuisine would be irrevalent

>>8019077
>He doesn't know the difference between India & Pakistan
>He doesn't realise most "Indian" restaurants in the UK are actually Banglideshi

A geographically challenged /pol/ tier American? I am *shocked*. Shocked, I say.

>>8019082
This. We call it hammock and Irish potatos au non-gratin

>>8018989
Have your parents told you that you're retarded yet? I live between pakis and niggers and can get all the pork my heart desires.

>>8019087
>you never see whites in India

Every single Bollywood actress is desperately trying to be as white as possible. Same as the Koreans and Japanese.

>India sold their spices to British

We owned India. We just took them. Like we took India, really.

>>8019097
keep telling yourself that http://www.academia.edu/4429360/Indian_Influences_on_British_culture

>>8019082
Walk down any seaside town (or any bigger town) and you'll be eye-fucked by "traditional British/English Fish and Chips". And you couldn't be more wrong with the 'murica thing.

>>8019097
>We

>>8019106
>Walk down any seaside town (or any bigger town) and you'll be eye-fucked by "traditional British/English Fish and Chips".

Okay, and do they subtitle it "Which is totally our national dish"?

>And you couldn't be more wrong with the 'murica thing.

You're a clapifat in your heart.

>>8019115
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_dish
United Kingdom
>fish and chips
>chicken tikka masala
Holy fuck my sides

>>8019115
SHART

>>8019106
>traditional British/English Fish and Chips
>all owned by chinese people and muslims

>>8018972
what's the green stuff

>>8019121
>Wikipedia as a primary source

>>8019128
>implying it's incorrect
Look at the United States too if it makes you feel any better britbong

>>8019133
SHART

>>8018729
what's the green stuff

>>8019138
hehe
IN THE MART

>>8019046
no, in India you don't make pies, you make poos, but not in loos

>>8019139
thats weed my dude, the good shit that sticky af OG ganja

>>8019143
false we use the village toilets there is no defecating in streets like people on this board in particular like to suggest that is a myth. in europe before a Turkish Indian rediscovered the toilets whites throw their urine and feces from buckets in the street this is historical fact

>>8019147
Sure thing, Panjeet.

>>8019089

>>8019089
Britshits call their dunecoons Pakis
Pakis outnumber native Brits a dozen to one in the cities.
New Pakistan, Britlamabad, and the United Caliphate are the current year names for what used to be England before it was conquered by Islam.

>>8019196
You seem upset anon.

>>8019201
I can't go into the cites for fear of my life and for the first time in my twenty-odd years on this Earth I have to lock my doors when I leave my home or car.

You're damn right I'm upset.

>>8019065
no, americans that are afraid of stuff that is not drenched in corn syrup.

>>8019213
Well I'm sure you and your EDL mates can cry about it down Wetherspoons.

>>8018644
American living in UK. Literally just came back from a pub after work where I ordered some chicken wings. These fuckers serve them with mayo and HP sauce (ketchup mixed with Worchesershershsireere sauce). Nasty

>>8019089
>India
>Pakistan
>Bangladesh
Implying there's any difference you fucking nonce

>>8019231
People like you are why Brexit won.

>>8019233
Briton living in the US. Literally just came back from a bar after work where I ordered a salad. These fuckers serve it with half a pound of cheese & bacon, and ranch dressing (mayo mixed with cheap dried herbs). Nasty

>>8019241
>"won"

Enjoy your billy no-mates club.

>tfw no mate that lives in the UK to send me some Bovril

>>8019242
>So mad someone doesn't like shitty HP sauce he made up an entire parallel scenario to get "revenge"

>>8019147
>a Turkish Indian rediscovered the toilets

how the fuck is a toilet discovered or even rediscovered? I would love to hear this magical story

>>8019271
>So mad someone doesn't like shitty ranch dressing he replied with a reaction image

>>8019276
>Wants the last word so bad he made up another scenario where I like ranch dressing

>>8019288
>Wants the last word so bad he replied with another reaction image

>>8019288
>>8019290
Fuck both of you. I want the last word.

>>8019304
You can have it as long as the faggot who is >>8019290 doesn't get it.

>>8019311
Okay

>>8019105

So, is this somebody's undergraduate sociology essay? 'Cause it seems like it

>>8018649
Anchovy 'go 'za. Top class.

>>8018853
It's a slicing pie not a gravy pie. Serve with pickle or chutney, salad and bread and butter.

>>8018649
I'd kill for that shit right now fuckkkk

>>8019077
You thick cunt

>>8019126
Had the same question. Since I'm a spic I thought it might be avocado but it's actually mushy peas.

>>8019233
Please go home

>>8018972
looks anemic as fuck m8

>>8018715
>we don't even mention the G word
>there is no such thing as gravy in pie and mash

Fucking Southern twats with their inferior pies.

>>8019147
Big words from someone who uses their hand to wipe their arse after a shit

>people still let Indians cook their food after revealing this fact

>>8018644
>>8018644

I've been waiting a while to post this picture

>>8018816
I get them from my local butcher and he uses proper lard for the shortcrust and it's fucking godly. Supermarket ones are shit though.

>>8018816
I only like them with suet pastry. They're dry as shit otherwise

>>8019461
Google says it's okay lads, dig in.

>>8019479
>suet pastry.
You sure it's not lard?

>>8018707
Shit thats brilliant!

But the slices are untoasted, so it made me cringe. Sad.

>>8019494
I don't think lard turns dry, bland shortcrust into a soft, moist piece of heaven.

>>8019522
>I don't think

Well luckily for you, you don't need to think.

>shortcrust

It isn't shortcrust. It's a hot water crust. Made with lard.

>>8019363
I would if you bitches knew how to do proper engineering and didn't need to outsource to Americans.
>inb4 cost of hiring Amerifats. I make plenty more than Bongs in the same position
we're just better

>>8019126
It's referred to as "mushy peas".

As a Canadian, I've never had real English fish and chips with mushy peas, but from what I gather, the mushy peas are just as iconic as the newspaper it's wrapped in.

From speculation, I can only assume that they're particularly large and sweet peas that are mostly-mashed-up, with butter.

>>8019139
mushy peas

>>8018955
what

>>8019274
well what no one ever actually talks about is how toilets, or atleast the posture is really really bad for you. its why hemmeroids and such is like non-existent in countries where you squat but in america every town has like 10 ass related clinics.

the tl:dr is that when you sit to shit, your not really lined up so you exert pressure to shit, when really you should just let it "slide out". if you tense up in any way what so ever, your basically pinching your shit off and only shitting a little bit, leaving a resevoir of shit still in your lower intestines.

seriously, to shit correctly, even if you use a toilet, sit down. and dont even tense ANYTHING. let it just slide out. your shits will double in size because your actually shitting it all out instead of leaving half in there

>>8019534
Yeah, just marrowfat peas cooked down really. Sometimes with a bit of mint, but it's predominantly a plain pea taste.

>>8019589
Protip: Use foot stools. DON'T try and squat on the toilet bowl like many folk from Asia try to do when they're in Europe because the bowl might crack in half and you'll sever your thigh artery on the broken porcelain and die.

>>8019599
well yeah but you dont even really need to squat to shit, i dont. just focus on the not tensing up as hard as you can

>>8019603
Squatting makes it much much easier. When I go camping or I'm in a country with squatting toilets I'm a happy guy. Squat poos are fucking brilliant. Western-style toilets are really fucking terrible and some hotels or apartments install them way too high because their craftsmen are imbeciles or 7ft tall and pooping on them is torture.

>>8018845
>>8018963
>>8018989
>>8019028
>>8019472
>>8019479
>>8019527

Thanks, Britbros. I'll try it with a simple pork filling and hot water crust pastry. I don't have a deep as fuck pie tin so it might be shit.

>>8019629
Probably better to get one or find a way to make one. I imagine it will be kinda crap in a shallow tin because the inside will dry out. You don't want the filling to dry or it's horrible.

>>8019629
>I don't have a deep as fuck pie tin

Well that's the trick; a hot water crust will stand on it's own. You don't need a pie tin.

>>8019629
>>8019641
It's a freestanding pie, you "raise" it around a dolly.

>>8018744
>not including he portuguese and spanish colonial empires, which were much bigger.

top kek

>>8019661
>much bigger

South America split between them, Central America & the Caribbean split four-ways (including Britain & France) and a few bumbfuck islands? Nah m8.

>>8019314
Not so fast buddy boy

Completely unrelated to the thread, but how does one discern whether or not dry pasta has gone bad?
Found an opened pack of cheap macaroni noodles whose best before date was three years ago, and there's nothing left in the house

>>8018980
didn't gordon ramsay train in france though?

>>8018644
>JFs try to hate on a chip butty

If it's too enough for arguably the most famous chef on the planet it's good enough for me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy0HncHOQe0

>>8019461
those are literally dutch flags, so try harder, faggot.

>>8019484
it's gingerbread, not actual shit

>>8019033
>In India where I am from

Are we still replying with the word Designated

>>8018972

good job, the best fish and chips are in yorkshire

>>8018644

>not enjoying a piping hot chip butty in the winter cold with your mates and then drinking strongbow down at the local park

fuck me it's like you've never lived

>>8020083
>with your mates
>not with Kayleigh and Rachel so you can finger them on the swings

>strongbow
>not white lightning

I'm sorry you had a bad childhood.

>>8020035
the Dutch shouldn't have made their flag so similar to France's then

>Someone claims to be eating fish and chips

>>served on a plate
>>no ketchup
>>fish isn't laying on the chips to impart extra flavour

hmm

>>8018644
Chip Barms/Baps/Rolls/Butties/Muffins/Buns are the shit

Best thing to do is save the bread for last. Eat the chips off the bread.

When you've finished the chips you are left with a piece of bread covered in butter, chip fat/grease, salt and swimming in vinegar.

God-Tier food

>>8018711
Not a Brit thing. I'm a Brit and never seen this shit before. Yuck!

>>8019073
No, the Americans think it's our national dish.

>>8019087
>Princess Diana was assassinated because she was in love with an Indian man for instance.

>Dodi Fayed
>son of Mohammed Al-Fayed
>the well known Egyptian billionaire
>Indian


None of you picked up on this before?

Also

>pajeet claiming sole ownership of spices being used in British cooking when spices have been traded from the East into Europe since prehistory
>pajeet claiming ownership of curry when its litterally a medieval English word that just means cooking

>>8018644
British food? It's crap (except fish and chips). Have you savages learned nothing?

>>8019073
>people think chips, cheese and gravy is a Canadian dish when everyone else (especially the Brits) have been eating since before Canada was even a country

>>8020169

>implying it isnt

>>8019597
>>8019534
Usually make my own. Cook Petit Pois or garden peas, add plain fromage frais, salt, pepper, chopped up spring onions and finely chopped mint, blitz it all up together, and maybe add a squeeze of lemon juice. Goes well with fish!

>>8020184
I wouldn't say so. People like fish and chips but it's not our national dish. Our national dish, if we have one, is probably curry or something ironic.

>>8020179
I'm guessing you've never been to Britain? We have some damn good food.

Another shitposting thread left up for over a day by our utterly terrible mods.

>>8018707
It's funny because this is American.

>>8019233
You can't even shitpost properly.

>>8020035
>Expecting Ameritwats to have even a childs level of geographical knowledge

>>8020179
Do you shart in marts ever get bored of the same tired shitposts?

>>8018666
yes

us americans have a shitty hawaiian spam sandwhich but thats the extent. the british are shitty and stubborn. they dont recognize that a lot of their classics are shit in todays world. i would rather eat bugs cooked in africa than shitty potato sandwiches in britain

>>8020259
SHART

>>8020263
you cuck

>>8020263
thanks to postcolonialism you really think the british have a shot in modern cuisine

im sorry for you

>>8019461
This kid knows what the fuck's up.

>>8020055
It was so fresh I would be convinced the fish was alive that day. I also loved the food in Wooten Bassett, outside of Swindon. There's a tapas place that does a mixture of spanish and english food, like black pudding and fried goat cheese. No pics of that though. I love england now.

>>8020263
IN

>>8020299
Greggs is also great, I much prefer savory breakfast pastries over the american tradition of donuts and pancakes. Cheese and onion pasty on a brisk rainy day, so good.

>>8020310
>on a brisk rainy day, so good
>rainy day, so good
lol

>>8020310

greggs is the shit man glad you're enjoying the food

>>8018653
instant mash needs to die, it's disgusting

>>8020310
Since when did Greggs stop doing square pasties?

>>8020310
any real 'merican will defend the breakfast sandwich or burrito anyway

egg, meat, cheese, potato

brits can keep bitching whenever theyre the ones who started shitting in stores in the first place
PLOP IN SHOP

>>8020355
We can? Great.
back to /pol/

>>8020365
That had fuck all to do with pol, you triggered faggot.

>>8019571
Toast sandwich mate, it's great

>>8020373
You sure? you're not convincing me.

>>8020304
MART

>>8020384
Shart in mart is an /int/ meme, you spastic.

Stop making us look like whiney faggots.

>>8020337
They have always done various types though.

>>8020310
americans have only started eating that type of stuff after they got cucked by corporations who don't even give them enough time to sleep and have proper breakfast anymore.

>>8020310
>Cheese and onion pasty on a brisk rainy day, so good.
It gets old quite quickly.

>>8020449
It's a good job they have many different pasties.

Besides, everyone knows that the steak bake is the choice for men with eight inch dicks.

>>8019956
It really doesn't. It may taste a bit off depending on where it was stored, (absorbed surrounding smells) but it won't make you sick or anything.

>>8020472
Nah I was talking about the whole pasty in the rain experience. It's good when you're a tourist, but the novelty wears quite quickly if you live there.

Great, now I want a sausage roll and it's half three in the morning. Thanks a lot you cunts.

>>8020523
>there

So in what capacity are you speaking from?

>>8018644
>british
>food

>>8018713
Heh just like your sex life then.

>>8019455
india is a water culture.
westerners have this idea that if you don't use paper, you don't wipe or use your hand.
everyone in the civilized world uses water to wash filth off their bodies.

>>8018666
Roast dinners are literally the greatest meal you can eat

>>8020546
For gods sake, capitalise your words, you savage thirdworlder.

>>8019534
>the mushy peas are just as iconic as the newspaper it's wrapped in.

Only because a bunch of retards who actually enjoyed their awful school lunches decided to get into the industry

>>8020586
You dropped your fedora.

>>8019641
>>8019646
>>8019648

FUCK. Wish I had seen this. Was going to make them tomorrow but read they need an overnight rest so I fucking rushed it tonight in the smallest round pan I could find. Will show slice tomorrow if I remember. Thank you to the anons with the tips.

I was last in the UK 5 years ago and now im thinking about all the food I can't get anymore.

Welsh Breakfast with:
>laver
>fried bread
>cockles
So good.

Toad-in-a-hole

Chips covered in tikka masala

Pork pie with Branston Pickle

Not shitty Cadbury

Balti served in a huge bowl

A Pasty

>>8020399
>/int/ pretends it isn't just /pol/-lite

kek

>>8020574
Okay, great, but do they need to do it right in the river that other people are drinking from?

>>8020605
>Didn't grow up in england or have school lunches
>this means I wear a fedora

????

>>8019266
I'll send you some Bovril, mate, but be forewarned; it tastes EXACTLY like you'd expect it to taste.

>>8020179
Hello, Mart Sharter.

>>8019571
Fucking americans not recognizing a bip hob on a wob jobbler

>>8019231
Enjoying your familygetting raped, Russell?

>>8018744

>Once upon a time

>>8019021

The only thing good about London is that it is somewhere where you can get food from all over the world.

Aside from that the place, including the whole of England is disgustingly expensive for no reason other than to be expensive, the locals are ugly, the traffic is horendus, any city is disgustingly dirty, 1 out of 50 britfags are cucks and the service you get for the price is terrible.

It was once a great nation but the only thing holding it together now is that everything is expensive so they have a false commercial power which funds their shitty endevours and gives britfags a false sense of superiority.

>>8020641
Damn, that looks pretty good. Nice job anon.

Nothing wrong with using a tin, was just pointing out that you can do without too.

>>8021514

>1st world fag detected

I can make all of those myself and my country is not even on half the atlases printed

>>8022267
>gives britfags a false sense of superiority
>false sense of superiority
>false

>>8022295

They are.

They are that annoying little guy everyone throws a bone to every now and then, to get him to shutup.

I lived there for 4 years and outside of that I have had to deal with you niggers for 30 years and i can tell you that you fuckers are all sheep led by a select few superiors.

Which would be alright if you just stood there bleeting and grazing like you should but every single one of you think that you are something special.

>>8022323
>think that you are something special.
>think that you are
>think

>A few hours ago, had a stupendous roast with excellent vegetables far better than you could ever have in the US, then enjoyed a wonderful pot of tea with a cream cake, again, far beyond what you could ever purchase in the US and now am settling into the night with a gorgeous Scotch and some very nice beers.

Trust me, I've lived all over the US. I've eaten at your finest restaurants, in houses across your social classes, had junk food, had good food, but even at it's best, it's not as good as what you can get in this country if you have a half-decent butcher near you, access to any rural county and a good bakery.

>>8022323
The same is true in the US. In fact, it's even more so because the standard of living is so dire. The only things good about the US are what you got from British common law. Everything else is shit.

>>8020259
>An american calling anyone stubborn

>>8018715
>Southerner
>Pie
Immediately discarded

>>8019990
He spent a few years in France but i'm pretty sure he regards Marco Pierre White as his main tutor

>>8019060
Fuck off, pajeet

>>8019147
> don't poo in public places

Now we know you're just trolling

>>8020032
This says less about the dish being good and more about Gordon Ramsay being retarded and addicted to fats and sugars

>>8021534
You sure are a fucking moron.

>>8019231
Shut up Rasheed.

>>8019247
Crymore, bitch. Enjoy being remembered as the ones who chose to make your country not exist, all to try and get one over on the big boys.

There is a special place in hell for traitors like you.

>>8019060
DESIGNATED

>>8025610
SHART