/ck/ - Food & Cooking

No cat is going to do shit for you

>>7936035
My cat loves me though.

>>7936035
>>7936061
My kots great friend also but I doubt they're capable of feeding me unless I change my diet to decomposed rodents

>>7936030
Our family's cat was one generation removed from feral cats, and was a keen hunter. He would bring back all sorts of carcasses and leave them on the back porch of our house, from mice / rats / birds, to squirrels and small rabbits. The rabbits he usually ate, though.

>>7936030

Pretty unlikely man

>>7936186
greedy lil fuck

>>7936061
Because you feed it. If it had to hunt for you, it'd let you die.
And it will eat your flesh given the chance.

A human eat way more than a litter of kittens, a magically trained cat couldn't feed a human.

>>7936030
There is no way one house cat can gather 2000 kcals of food for you in a single day.

even if you could, why would you?

you'd have to eat food that was in a cat's mouth and that's fucking gross

>>7936881
You'd wash it first.

>>7936881
>a cat's mouth is more gross than a dog's mouth

So I guess any companion animal that retrieves quarry for its master is just a deal breaker for you

>>7936904
but dog mouths are less gross

and cats are filthy vermin

>caring about the cleanliness of the cat's mouth when he's bringing you literal rats to eat

>>7936030
>mfw just learned "kot" on duolingo
>mfw I have no face

>>7936030
>training
>cats

Dogs are specifically bred to be friendly and obedient to humans. Cats have zero of that special selective breeding and just flat out do not have the social inclination traits necessary to breed those behaviors on the first place.

Cats like you because you're warm and a source of food, and that's about it.

>>7937011
>Cats like you because you're warm and a source of food, and that's about it.

Spoken as someone who's never had a cat

>>7936061
>people actually think this about cats

>>7937050

I've had three.

I love cats, but they don't show affection the same way dogs do. Dogs are bred into obedience. Cats are not, and cats will go feral if they're not raised around humans from a very young age because they don't learn to treat humans as a source of comfort, shelter and/or food.

>>7937150
Either you've never had a cat or treated them like shit. I've had them all my life and they'll show obvious affection if you're nice to them, dogs will give any random asshole affection.

why wouldnt you just eat the cat?
also would a pregnant cat produce more meat?

>>7937201
It would produce baby meats

>>7937201
>Being chinese

>>7937196
This. I raised my cat from a feral kitten and now the fucker follows me and constantly tries to cuddle with me 4 years later. He jumps up on me when I get home from work even.
He fucking better for the amount of money I spend on his food.

>>7937196
He probably treated them like shit, or tried to treat them like dogs. I used to have a crazy roommate who was always pissy with me because the cat would come into my room and hang out with me because the cat and I were cool while she was a creepy needy bitch who would try to make it play fetch and shit.

Then she'd get jealous that the cat wanted to hang out with me so she'd try to bribe it with food. It would go out and eat her food and then come back into my room to hang out with me.

That really drove her up the wall.

>>7937196
Exactly; my friends wonder how my cats are so friendly, all the while letting their snot nosed kids terrorize their own cats and try to use them as scarves or something.

>>7937943
>beat a dog
>it still loves you
>beat a cat
>it claws out your eyes and leaves you forever
Proof that people who prefer dogs are just bad people.

>>7937201
>eating a kot

my kitto can't even hunt for itself, it's so retarded it brought in a mouse and let it escape under my bed

then instead of hunting the mouse it just gave up and went to sleep

>>7936061

Your cat hates your guts.

where did this idea arise that you can beat dogs without consequences? toxoplasma?

>>7936030
>how possible would it be to train your mom to suck my cock every morning ? Dad

>>7936061
Cats cannot feel love.

>>7936186
Animal psychologists have theorized that they bring you injured/dead animals to try to inspire/teach you how to hunt. Your cat thinks you're a retarded/disabled pussy, so it brings you mostly fucked up creatures so you don't have to do as much work and maybe will be able to eventually develop into a strong independent hunter.

>>7939656
>Animal psychologists have theorized
Sauce or gtfo

>>7938440
Adorable.

>>7936030
It depends. Some breeds are more amenable to training than others, but most cats don't have generations of inbred fuckery that make them prefer humans to their own kind. This is why I prefer cats.

One of my cats brings me dead birds on the regular. Enough for a few meals guaranteed to have meat per week, I guess. That's really all you need as long as you're getting other sources of protein, like canned beans.

The other one is kind of retarded and mostly restricts her wild game to crane flies. I blame an early weaning and a nutritionally deficient adolescence before the shelter picked her up. Kittens barely on solids can't live on bugs alone without getting brain problems, I guess. Don't worry, she's well-fed now.

>>7936195
>>7936874
I think we're talking about ways to get extra meat, not all of your food.

I can only hope that crazy doomsday preppers store pet food with their canned goods, so there's that. If you're still depending on dead blue jays for protein after a few months, I think you have bigger problems.

>>7936030
you can't train cats to do something new, nor can you train them to not do things via punishment. You can only reward things cats already do to reinforce the behavior

>>7936918
Top kek

>>7939656
that's an educated guess, at best.

>>7939852
I partially disagree, it depends on the cat.

>>7939852

that's bullshit when I got my cat as a kitten I would yell at her and give her a little smack anytime she bit and now she doesn't bite anyone, except sometimes by accident when playing and she will run like hell if you say "ow".

>>7939942
>>7939946

Incorrect