/ck/ - Food & Cooking

a diet you fat cunt

vagina tartare served raw

>>7196201
Top rude

Try to look like this when you cook.

>>7196203
Enjoy your e.coli

>>7196220
I'm not an Asian with perfect skin.

>>7196229
Neither is she. Well, the skin part.

Anywho, the old wives' tale of "The Way to a Man's Heart is Through his Stomach" isn't true anymore.

Back when all women had to offer was sex, food and a clean house it may have been.

Just learn a few recipes and get good at them.

>>7196200
Pussy

>>7196247
Cmon. Just want something nice to impress with on a date, don't expect them to gf me on the meal alone

>>7196260
You should. I'd marry the ugliest woman on earth if she cooked amazingly. And, you know, wouldn't cheat on me.

>>7196247
>Back when all women had to offer was sex, food and a clean house it may have been.
>implying women have anything else to offer today

>>7196200

An empty dish
Lose some weight, Iron Heffer!

Want to get a man OP?
Sigh a fucking prenup that states when you divorce his ass >2 years, that you won't steal 90% of his belongings, his children, falsely claim rape, or defame his character like you're going to try and do, you entitled bitch.

haha, OP is ugly and/or fat

>>7196306
Y-you too

a bj&v sandwich

>>7196260
Not steak. Grilling is what he likes to do.

Try comfort food. It will feel like you're already a family.

>>7196349
Any specific suggestions? Thanks for the legitimate answer

>>7196200
Pizza. Boys love pizza.

>>7196388
Pork belly. Few people cook with it, but it tastes incredible. Look up Chef John's recipe.

>>7196388

slow-cooked stews, soups, etc

if you make goulash and serve it over egg noodles he'll feel comfy and warm and like u

or corn chowder

or clam chowder

idk these are the things my gf makes for me which i like the most

>>7196399
Make sure it's a square pizza, circles are feminine and would insult his masculinity.
I made a round one for my boyfriend once and he smacked me so hard I chipped a tooth.

>>7196421
Being snacked for fucking up dinner is my fetish

>>7196416
>>7196418
Thanks.

>Back when all women had to offer was sex, food and a clean house it may have been.

You say this like it's not enough to please a man. Fuck, I'd be pleased as punch if my girl knew how to cook and bothered to clean.

>>7196200
You better not be no cocksucking faggot on my board son. You better be a female irl who I can just tell to fuck right off my board.
Don't you fuckin lie to me son. It'll be a problem.

>>7196200
if 'bf' = buttfuck then I'd say coconut oil.
Tried peanut butter with hubby once but the ride was a bit rough.

>>7196200
Hi! few things to start off with =] 1. yes I added you because you're a female cook, 'tis an awesome thing to see! 2. I'm Brian. 3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen.

Want to date, OP?

>>7196512
A-aalborg?

>>7196339
underrated post

>>7196304
>Implying prenups matter.

desu it's not even hard to get a bf/gf/get married. You just have to
1.) Demonstrate you aren't a shit
2.) Make it clear in how you carry yourself that you don't tolerate other a shits.

But people have unrealistic expectations for their partners (Oh they should be at least 3 points higher than me on the X/10 scale, make 90k a year, etc.)

I get having standards, but that's the thing about standards. Having standards doesn't magically create more people that meet them. If you're holding out for a 10/10 dude or girl, that's fine. You'd be surprised what both understanding your own position and having a partner equally interested in working on themselves does for you. It provides feedback and helps you both grow as people.

>>7196247
You're a god damn idiot and have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Women these days can't cook for shit. They've been raised by hardcore feminists who view cooking as some form of oppression so 90% of them are completely fucking useless in the kitchen.

Don't listen to that asshat OP. Your willingness to cook puts you at an advantage to your useless no cooking, cock sleeve peers. Any woman that could actually cook would get +1000 points in the gf category. Of course I'm completely against having a gf in general but still my point stands.

>>7196555
>aren't a shit

This is so true.
I'm single because I'm brown and smell like dirty Mongolian ass.

>>7196561
Even if he's extrapolating, he has a point.
I know a lot of dating females that can't cook worth shit. I mean, I can't cook either in that I only know how to make a handful of things, but these women can't even go through a recipe if they were to look one up.

It's not a prerequisite for most, but it does look better on the dating market (boy or girl) if you can cook.

>>7196561
I met a 27 year old girl yesterday who runs a cupcake shop and loves gardening.
How long before I should propose?

>>7196578
I am competely against marriage and generally view women as temporary accessories and horrible long term investments so I'm not the one too ask about that. But her hobbies make her sound cute so good for you.

>>7196587
thanks for helping the feminists doom society

>>7196596
I fail to see how keeping women on a temporary basis helps feminists but whatever. It suits me. I can't be assed for relationships anymore.

>Find out what his mom usually cooks.
>Try to make it.
>Dude will fall in love knowing that he can eat this good for the rest of his life and force you to marry him, at gunpoint

A clean, tight anus attached to a woman whose in shape.

>>7196416
what is that? dog food with polenta and a piss glazé served beside a clover and radish salad?

>>7196200
any dish with a lot of anise added

>>7196561
Is English your first language?

My post makes no mention of what women do today.

>>7196616
>whose in shape
>whose in
>whose
lrn2English

You meant 'who's in shape'

>>7196674
You're a fucking idiot with zero life experience. Get the fuck outta here. Your anecdotes are embarrassing.

>>7196220
Those eggs look dry

>>7196247
>Back when all women had to offer was sex, food and a clean house it may have been.
>Back when

You mean yesterday, today and tomorrow?

>>7196200
Copious sloppy head with insatiable cum swallowing. Or anal.

>>7196247
Pic very related, love, /pol/

>>7196339
Fucken 10/10

>>7196607
Someone sounds bitter

>>7196587
>being the male equivalent of political lesbian
MGTOW?

>>7196200
>Assuming you're a girl...
Being in decent shape and keeping a clean and healthy puss is pretty good. Also, a good personality helps in the long term.
>If you're a guy
First, enjoy burning in hell. Second, abs, good skin, and nice hair will do wonders.

I'm drunk and sure that this thread isn't even worth reading through, but my advice is to find a guy who can cook for you and learn how to give decent head.

Polite sage.

>>7197825

I never understood this. MGTOWs aren't swearing off women altogether for men instead. From what I gather, they enjoy female companionship and still seek it but just prefer not to legally bound to them because the potential risks are just too high. You don't have to be an MRA to know that men get a shit deal in divorce and family court.

I'm sure bitter, fringe rhetoric exists within the movement (I guess?) that try to demonize women but I don't think their main premise is unreasonable.

>>7196200
Men are only interested in money. If you don't have any, get some.

>>7196200
Pic related if you can pull it off.
>tfw I'll never have a based gf that can put together a delicious gyro at home

>>7197228
Thx /pol/ bro. I've never seen this on there

>>7196464

Mac n cheese cause men are fucking children.
Men are like giant dogs, cute and dumb and nice to hug, but it's not rocket science to feed them. Good luck

>>7196612
Freud would be proud of this, OP.

>>7198399

>men are fucking children

I wish...

>>7198631

>>7196220
Stop being such a weeb

>>7196452
I agree. My girl can't cook, is to lazy to clean, and has absolutely no sex drive. It sucks.

>>7196555
Nice trips Dr. Phil

>>7198399
With an attitude like that, no wonder you are only able to interact with childish males.

>>7198737
Why haven't you dumped her?

>>7198762
I don't know

>>7197228
why you should settle for shitheads like me, the image

>>7196200
look at this trollyollyoler
this smug fuck
look at the picture he posted.
this unabashed fuck right here

>>7196268
expectation for domestic skills went out the window when feminism came around.
now women only have sex to offer

>>7199080
So did the expectation of male accomplishment, as apparently men only ever achieve anything by taking positions that could have been filled by women. Now men only have subservience to offer.

>>7196607
You're not supposed to be going into a long term relationship for love anyway your dip.
its about having kids, raising them well, and establishing a legacy. The middle part is where you're going to get the most grief.

>>7198984
then do it.

>>7199086
expectation for male accomplishment didn't disappear. Just opportunity and upbringing. Thats why male suicide is on the rise.
They know they're fucking up and don't know how to fix it, because they were never raised properly?
They weren't raised properly because, in a word, boomers.
Trickle down economics doesn't work, but trickle down not-giving-a-shit-about-your-kids sure does

>>7199087
Establishing a legacy is totally a masculine perspective, I actually want kids for the connection to another human, opportunity for growth with a bf, and a primal genetic urge.
>>7198746
Do I sound unhappy about it? Expecting too much from a guy will just end in heartbreak

For girl you make pasta or Italian for guy you do lunch/picnic or some kind of dual participation cookout.

Only when the girl knows how to cook or I am dating her do I want a nice dinner otherwise it makes me feel guilty or that she is trying really hard

>>7196200
Show intrest smile, eye contact, body contact ie, he says a joke smile laugh and lightly grab arm. Have sex, when he wakes up feed Ramsay eggs, bacon, toast, orange juice coffee and fruit.

Guaranteed he will stay or look at you at favourable light.

>>7199080
this.

>Meet a girl
>she doesn't cook

onto the curb she goes.

>>7199125
Sounds like you just decided to settle.

>>7196200
As a classically trained French cook, nothing would get my cock harder than diamonds other than a qt cooking Coq a Vin for me.

Jacks party salad

>>7196220
Confused with food on my head?

>>7196634
That's watercress you uncultured swine.

>>7198399
>dumb

You're dumb

>>7199125
>Expecting too much from a guy will just end in heartbreak
I've seen some delusional feminist bullshit, but this is the first time I've seen a female fedora tip.

>>7196200
Make something rustic and rich.

>>7196200
>start with a creamy soup
>follow up with a real Italian lasagne
>finish him off with a chocolate dessert, maybe a pastry
Being full as fuck after a good dinner is the best way to make a man happy.

Thank me later, and name your child after me.

>>7196200
>What's the best dish for getting a bf?
Depends what kind of man, really.

There are meat and potatoes types, for whom a really amazing bloody steak or luscious fall apart roast dinner will amaze and let them start dreaming.

Then, there is the hipster who might be impressed by your fussy expert hand at international food trends. Flavor explosions like your homemade pate in a bahn mi, little dumplings, or some kind of world class boozy dessert like trifle might impress. Add a craft beer or local beer that pairs to it. But, you might get points for something craveable that hits them day or two later as yearning to taste again.

I suggested my overnight yogurt chicken to many a dating friend, always got great feedback afterwards, and they're all still together. It was a conglomeration of a Jaffrey and a Merchant recipe. I grated ginger, garlic and green chilies, sauteed in a little olive oil, added cayenne, garam masala (heavy on the cardamom and ginger), and then took it off the burner, and when cool, to that a ungodly amount of lemon zest and juice. When cooled, combined cold greek yogurt and tossed with chicken pieces in big pyrex baking dish, covered in fridge overnight. Next day, pop whole casserole in the oven until juices run clear. Ridiculous sauciness over basmati rice. Rice can be cinnamon-bay leaf spiced or jazzed up with a pilaf if you prefer, and seasonal vegetables of choice. All the prep is the night before, and nothing preventing a second casserole of roasted vegetables from going on. Never overeat on a "date" of course. Too stuffed for proper snuggling.

>>7201099
>>7201104
Well, i really wasn't trying to antagonize men, I like men, and I called you cute. I'm not a feminist. You're all being way too touchy

>>7196200
Iron Chef was a great show.

>>7198399
If you cant beat stouffers then learn something else.

>>7201116
Nobody is gonna name a child "faggot

>>7201141
>and I called you cute
e·go·tis·ti·cal
ˌēɡəˈtistək(ə)l/
adjective
adjective: egotistical

excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself; self-centered.

>>7201285
I don't see how that's egotistical. It's not like I'm expecting that to profoundly exhilarate you, it's just a demonstration of how I didn't mean to demonstrate ill will

>>7201297
you think that saying "you're cute" is supposed to make anyone feel good after comparing them to dogs, calling them a child and calling them dumb. you're either incredibly egotistical or just plain stupid.

>>7196200

weiners of course!

>>7198399
>it's not rocket science to feed them

Men created rocket science, cunt. And every appliance in your house, the computer you're on, the language you are reading and writing in and pretty much everything in your pathetic life.

>>7201310
I just, almost cerbatim said i didn't expect it to make them feel good.
Also dogs and children are pretty great. If someone calls you a big oaf do you also get outraged?

>>7201317
>almost verbatim
that doesn't make sense
>big oaf
not the same as DUMB CHILD DOG

you're rude and stupid

>>7196200
If you are just looking for a boyfriend, judge his looks and restaurant preferences to see what might be the best fit.

If you are looking for a man, learn to cook steak.

>>7201316
Guy created the first computer, but a woman was considered the first to program them.

>>7201321
Sorry
I didn't mean to upset you and I'll be more carefup in the future. From my perspective it is exactly big oaf tier though

>>7201332
dont listen to these angry virgins, im kinda dumb and cute and huggable and would let you feed me, you in the houston area?

Pussy.

>>7201851
Denmark, and taken.

>>7196452
fuckin same dog
Now I'm single though, and can have sex with people who know sex is only sex. No need to offer time and money
I'm so alone