/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6970752

come over anon i make great chili

> cooks hamburger meat
> pulls 8 cans out of the cabinet
> dumps contents of cans in a pot
> dumps hamburger meat in the pot

dont you just love it anon?

>>6970782
absolutely beautiful

>>6970782
Shitty example, there is no such thing as a non-pleb chili.

>>6970782
Come over anon I've been cooking spaghetti all day

>dumped jar of Prego and a pound of ground beef in the slow cooker at noon

>>6970752
>>>/anywherebutherefaggot/

>>6970752
Then posts adjusted recipe to internet forum, claiming ownership.
All comments following say things like,
"I tried this but I subbbed the X for Y"
"Did this the other day but added lots of cheese and bread and cut out half of the other ingredients and basically made a cheese sandwich instead of a pork casserole as I'm on a diet."
"Also on a diet, I left out everything but the water and just had that, amazing recipe, zero calories! 5 stars. :)"
"I don't have an oven, so I used the microwave instead. Cooking instructions are completely wrong, 1 star. This didn't work at all."
"Added loads of extra salt, because I like my food salty. This recipe was too salty even for my tastes. 4/5 stars for trying but definitely wouldn't try again. Unless maybe adding some cilantro or soy sauce to balance out the salty taste."
"Didn't make this recipe, but looks great. 5 stars!"

And so on...

I'll eat whatever dumb canned garbage she wants to pretend she cooked as long as she promises never to wear that retarded shirt ever again.

>>6970752

Women cannot follow basic commands, or instructions, hence they're very seldom in seats of power... as Nature itself dictates.

>>6970919

>women cannot follow basic commands, or instructions.

Fucking this. My Ex-wife used to put peanut butter in my son's bottles (now 8yo) for some reason to "spice up" his routine from mundane formula (was too selfish to even try breastfeeding). She exposed him to the point of him developing an allergy to peanuts.

>mfw I'm a baker and cannot feed my own child peanutty goodness from my bakery.

She took the ONE THING I wanted most to share with my son...

>>6970752
You're right, OP. They shouldn't even try.
They should just snuffle down fast food all the time like most guys do. Amirite??!!!

>>6970940
>stories that never happened

FTFY

>>6970940
>She exposed him to the point of him developing an allergy to peanuts

Early exposure to peanuts actually reduces the risk of developing peanut allergies. Your kid just had bad genes. Could still be your ex's fault.

>>6970911

I'd smash you're fucking brains in for talking shit about a Zelda shirt you Minecraft yolo #pewdewpie faggot.

I hope your entire family is raped murdered.

Since when has /r9k/ decided to raid /ck/? /b/ I can see wanting out of their containment board, but /r9k/? Really? Did their moms quit cooking for them or something?

>>6970944

Whatever you say.

>>6970955
>plays plebshit
>thinks he's better than people who play different plebshit
>maximum 3dgelord

I think your nintendo shirt is cutting off your circulation, buddy. Better run to Hot Topic and buy the next size up.

>>6970969

>plebshit
>must be ironic teenager

Or I grew up on it..

Please tell me what awesome games you play..

>>6970752
Women aren't good at anything anymore.

>>6970752

>helping someone cool
>they are out of oil and need to fry tortilla shells
>I offer to get oil
>lol no it's ok we'll use crisco

>>6970979
>I grew up on it

So you were into it before it was cool, eh?

>>6970993

As in I'm probably older than you.

You're probably 16, so I'm 14 years older than you.

And Nintendo and SNES Zelda's really had no rivals. You still won't say which call of duty tier games you think are better.

>>6970940
You seem keen to get your nuts in your kid's mouth.

>>6970993
>>6971014

I don't know who's worse, the 30 year old that cares about video games, or the kid that cares about someone wearing a shirt

You're both idiots

>>6970955
>>6971014
>implying any zelda besides the first was worth even half a shit
First was best. Second was good, but obtuse.
Third is hand-holding bullshit.
GB ones are all story-time bullshit, /especially/ the Oracle games.
Can't speak for N64 and beyond because I'm just not into 3D gaming so I'd be too biased to give any honest opinion on it.
Well, except the DS games. Fuck that hand-holdy shit, too.

>>6971065
Here is a tip from another 30-something: when in doubt, assume everyone is an idiot and walk away.

It's how I met 2nd wife!

>>6970790
>cap covers baldness
>no fat present
completely misleading icon

>>6970941
Found the girl.

All of the men I know can't even be called horrible cooks, because they just can't cook. To be fair though, I really don't know anyone, man or woman, who can cook well. Where do I find college friends who cant cook and aren't just Instagram/follow-the-recipe faggots?

>>6970752
>Why are most women such horrible cooks?
Most people are horrible cooks ya dingus.

>>6970955
>posts pic for ants
>has shit opinions

Anon even Majora's Mask and TP beat the fuck out the NES ones. Come on.

>>6971065
>only kids care about video games

Anon video games are pretty commonplace all over the world. Even Ja/ck/ has a 360.

>>6970940
Talk to a doctor about your problem, they can't cure the allergy but if you convince him that as a baker it would mean a lot for your kid to be able to on rare occasion enjoy one or two things you made with peanuts they might talk to you about it. Ask about pre-emptive useage of an epi-pen

It probably wont work, but if the adrenaline is already in his system the anaphylaxis may be suppressed before it starts. Then again the need to be jabbed with a needle because dad wants you to try something that might kill you is a whole 'nother can of psychological worms that may be best left unnopened.

>>6970955
You are a serious waste of oxygen.

>>6973553
surely the answer is to bake things without peanuts. Lots of things don't have peanuts as an ingredient.

nice memes all around. congrats, everyone.

>>6970752
>>>/r9k/
And don't come back.

We have a perfectly nice board here and we don't need people like you ruining it.

>>6970752
They've never had to be good at anything. I guarantee if men could get pregnant and give birth, they'd knock it out in 3 months and raise the kid in 8 years. It's only because women can have children that they're given the simpler tasks like feeding.

Men are good at cooking because competition is healthy and natural, they want to get better, they get satisfaction from improvement and winning. They're motivated by things outside themselves to improve themselves. It's possible for a dude to dedicate him to something for no good reason and that's how we get things like lemon meringue pie.

>>6970752
this is literally how my mom makes recipes

it's very annoying

>>6971085
>hand holding
>hand holdy

>I can't think of any true criticisms for these games so I am just going to throw in some buzzwords I learned from /v/

Also
>I'm not into 3D gaming

I can smell the unwashed fedora from here

>>6974554
he's right though.

women are terrible cooks compared to men.

>>6976931
Just because pinterest whores ruin food doesn't mean all women are like that

>>6976944
implying anyone said anything about pinterest.
they didnt. except in your apparent imagination.

women are terrible cooks compared to men.

>>6976959
That's what the majority of bad internet cooks use, don't get so triggered, anon.

Do you use pinterest? Maybe I hit a nerve :^)

>>6976969
whether they are bad internet cooks or not.

women are terrible cooks compared to men.

>>6970992
>Implying Crisco isn't a great frying fat.
Pleb.

>>6976972
>implying its a competition
18-30 year old women dont count (neither do men but thats irrelevant for your baseless argument)

>>6970804

tbh I like this kind of spaghetti

>>6970959
Agreed, it's fucking ridiculous.

>>6971277
Found the girlfriendless /r9k/ retatrd.

>>6970940
This:
>>6970950
Good thing you're just a baker, because you certainly cannot into science.

My whole family except one aunt, one uncle, and the kids are fantastic cooks. Thanksgiving and family get togethers are religious experiences of flavor and joy. I can only bake and make stews or soups though.

>>6970752
How many women do you know /ck/?

Throughout history women have been the ones feeding men, though now that food isn't just a necessary item to stop you dying it's no surprise men have decided they're going to take over all the best parts of it and decide how everything's supposed to be done. Not like women teaching their daughters through generations means anything.

>>6980129
maybe both genders produce good and bad cooks.

ITT: Cowards who are afraid to experiment with their cooking.

>>6970752
>>omitting key ingredients
>>substituting key ingredients with other ingredients that are completely unrelated
>>entirely skipping important steps
>>taking every shortcut possible
>Why are most women such horrible cooks?


too much truth here. I know zero good women cooks. zero point fucking zero.

>>6980140
>maybe both genders produce good and bad cooks.
SJW CUCK FAGGOT AUTISM CANCER NORMIE REEEEE TBH FAAAAAAAAAAAAM

>>6980129

>women have been the ones feeding men

Untrue, traditionally men have provided food for not only their offspring but their cumsockets (wives) as well. Women traditionally slapped shit together once given ingredients to play with.

Historically speaking the world's most accomplished Chefs have been men. It has absolutely nothing to do with gender bias or patriarchy, women are not capable of multitasking under pressure and provide concise results despite the acrimonious environment.

I own a pub, small kitchen, 26 rotating "seasonal" menu items I engineered myself. Even with recipe cards, my wife isn't capable of maintaining a steady flow of quality work from that kitchen, so she either hosts, or watches TV in my office.

Women= shouldn't prepare food ever.

Women learn to cook because they're expected to, men learn to cook because they're genuinely interested in it.

>>6980151
"experiment"
That's what my grandma called it when she dumped everything she had into every single thing she baked in her diabetic life. She's blind in one eye because she couldn't stop not following recipes. She uses an electric wheelchair because she's too lazy to walk.

>>6980140
maybe people are unique

>>6980158
>my wife is a retard therefore all women are retarded

kek

>>6980158
>traditionally men have provided food
for women to cook you know what I meant

>Historically speaking the world's most accomplished Chefs have been men. It has absolutely nothing to do with gender bias or patriarchy, women are not capable of multitasking under pressure and provide concise results despite the acrimonious environment.
>I own a pub, small kitchen, 26 rotating "seasonal" menu items I engineered myself. Even with recipe cards, my wife isn't capable of maintaining a steady flow of quality work from that kitchen, so she either hosts, or watches TV in my office.
wow conclusive proof that you're a fucking moron at least

>>6980181
No even a homeless alcoholic bum on the street could cook better food than my wife, the only time she can even cook the hamburger helper right is after I beat her with the meat tenderizer

>>6980209
>have vegetarian gf
>she tries to be nice and make me breakfast once
>puts the entire package of bacon in the microwave because she doesn't want to touch raw meat

>>6980187

Yes. True. Thanks for agreeing.

>>6980188

Name one classically trained female Chef that isn't a meme personality.

>C-careme w-w-was a lady dressed as a man...

LOL. Stop touching food.

>>6980220
How often do you beat your wife into submission?

I beat mine at least twice a day, I think I need to take it up to three sessions though. She didn't walk the dog yesterday and it shit in the living room. I obviously beat her instead of the dog because I love my dog.

>>6980220
>classically trained
you think that's not a sexist institution?

tell me delia or nigella or fanny cradock can't cook

>>6980225

>being this pathetically assblasted about belonging to the inferior gender.

Everyone knows the cock rules the roost.

>>6980230
careful or you'll be the first against the wall when the feminists are in charge

>>6980227
See
>>6980230

It's not sexist, at all. Plenty of Careme's protégé's were women, all failed to accomplish anything outside of his lessons. Shame.

As the adage goes: if you can't handle the heat etc etc etc.

I don't believe television personalities csn cook well, no.

>>6980230
I don't know what you're getting at, buddy. I was just asking for tips on how to make my woman more obedient.

>>6980235
have a nice life

>>6980234

I love that picture.

>>6980209
Cool story bro, that'll get a lot of yucks in 1029s vaudeville.

>>6980209
>tfw no wife to beat
its a bad feeling

>>6980217
I'm glad you found someone as retarded as you to spend your life with

>>6980209
underrated post

>>6970810

lol, internet

>>6980305
You need to work on your insults. I take care of her BECAUSE she's retarded and I'm not.

>tfw gf is an okay cook
>tfw she is vegan
:/

>>6970752
Women don't learn to cook because of a backlash against the"housewife role."

It's not complicated faggots

If men aren't better cooks than women, why are the majority of acclaimed pro chefs men? It likely has something to do with the ability to operate under pressure and follow instructions. Having gone through my PGY-3 as an orthopod, I am convinced that the average woman is just incapable of handling extreme levels of stress in the workplace. If I had a nickel for every time a female colleague started bawling her eyes out after she got chewed the fuck out by a senior resident I wouldn't even need to work. Conversely, men thrive under stress and do their best work when a fire is lit under their ass. They can take orders and more importantly, they can take criticism in the workplace.
You see the same gender disparity in any demanding field - truly, men are better suited to tasks that require mental fortitude.

>>6980345

>providing for the weak
>being this lazy just because vagina
>not wearing the "daddy" pants

2015 and people still do this?

Hot diggity-damn!

I liked /ck/ when it was like 60 percent bored housewives. What happened?

>>6980424

>bored housewives

2ez 2troll

Old /ck/ in a nutshell:

>femanon here, pls help Ramen recipe
>ZOMG HERE'S PICS OF MY NEARLY BARREN PANTRY BUT 3 PACKETS OF IMPORTED RAVENS FROM WHAAPAN.
>uhhhhhhhhhh pls help
>HYUCK HYUCK U KNO THE RULES CUMDUMPSTER TOTS OR PLS GO
>uhhhhhhhhhh so u can't help?
>HERRRRRRR TIMESTAMP TOTS DEN HELP LOL GOTTEM.
>uhhhhhhhhhh okay I'll go back to /int/ and /soc/ then.
>TOPPLEB GURL NO SHOW DEM TOTS, GONNA GO TROLL GAIA NOW, MAYBE BOXXY WANTS MY UDON RECIPE!!!!

^ Historical facts.

>women can't cook

>>6980439

Julia child and her husband were spies...literally. I don't care if she took amateur cooking classes while in paris.

Still an ugly kike, still annoying, still basic af. Her recipes are copypasta from cooks around her in Europe marketed towards Amerilards.

Spies= good actors. That's why people liked her, all her books were ghost written.

>>6980451
And how does that not make her more badass? You just made me like her more.

>>6980451
man that would have been so much better than Julie and Julia

>>6970801
there sure is

>>6970940

That's not how allergies work. Your kid is weak.

>>6980480
>>6980505
In addition to being a spy she also developed pellets sailors could use to help prevent shark attacks in the event of shipwrecks.

The pellets themselves being made of rotten shark bits.

Jesus what happened to this board?

My mom and gf are good cooks, gf makes the best desserts I've ever tasted.

So there's some anecdotal evidence that completely validates the point: 'women are not bad cooks'.

>>6980382
> they can take criticism in the workplace

This is the biggest issue. Men normally respond to stress with 'fight or flight' response and will to become either more aggressive or bottle up their emotions, while women mostly respond with 'tend and befriend' to cope with high stress levels.

It's due mostly to Testosterone levels, and the release of oxytocin, which is occur in higher levels in women.

This response difference by gender isn't found only in humans, but also in rats for example.

ITT a bunch of plebs who don't know how to cook bitch about other people being bad cooks.
>YER MAKIN SOUP YOU CAN'T SUBSTITUTE PARSNIPS FOR CARROTS! THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES!
>Women are worse because brain chemicals. while I say this, I have no excuse for my own failings.
>some faggot who likes children's video games a little too much.

god, this is terrible.

>>6980609

That's some sun-bleached whiteknighting right there.

>>6980609
This entire post is bullshit. Who would have parsnips lying around but not carrots?

>>6980369
Actually, it's exactly the opposite of feminism.

If you can get everything handed to you in life for no other reason than your possession of tits, why would you bother putting any effort into anything?

Ive never really noticed any of this to be true.. Ive had great food cooked by women, grandma types.. Ive also known men that couldnt cook for their lives that make fairly good recipes that they follow to a t. It simply seems to be knowledge from hands on experience.. which is actually hard work, yet simple.

>>6980609
It's not about it being against some set of rules, it's about making stupid substitutions. Parsnips to carrots is going to change the flavour of the dish. This may or may not work with the rest of the ingredients.
Substituting butter for margarine or chicken for honeybees can have dramatic effects on the outcome of the dish.

This may be true for your rotten western women, but my mother and grandmothers were always amazing cooks and they taught me a lot about cooking.

I feel bad for you guys.

>>6970810
Holy shit that's every recipe comment on allrecipes

>>6970810
>"I don't have an oven, so I used the microwave instead. Cooking instructions are completely wrong, 1 star. This didn't work at all."
So fucking true
These people will be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes

>>6980230
Get that disgusting old fuck out of the kitchen.

>>6980990

bad b8

>>6980158
>being this pretentious about being a cook
Kek

>>6980994

enjoy your McJob bubby

:^)

>>6970752
Pretty much my entire childhood with my mom. I tell her to read the instructions, but she never follows them and wonders why it comes out like garbage.

>>6980997
Aww looks like i touched a nerve. Dont worry im sure everything will pan out for you.

>>6972987
>Most people are horrible cooks ya dingus.

>>6970940
>yfw she was actually trying to help him not be allergic to peanuts

>yfw people of all genders do these things in the thread

>yfw /r9k/ infects /ck/