/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6919694
I forget to scan some things at the self-checkout

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxINJzqzn4w

Thanks, Bill

i almost always steal a instant pudding package. while drunk ive taken some full hoagies from wegmans. when i lived in europe though i never stole lol. but in jersey i guess anytime im under the influence i end up waking up with something in my pocket or jacket pocket.

in highschool i would get drunk and walk up to the same wegmans and eat a lot of food illegally from the chinese food buffet and walk out, or fill up a container, walk around drinking a large silk chocolate milk and eat my fried goodies and walk out lol.

ive done a lot of illegal shit over the years and luckily never so much as had a verbal warning.

I don't really consider it stealing, but when I still worked at the produce section in a grocery store I'd just eat whatever piece of fruit caught my fancy.

The management didn't care as long as I didn't overdo it.

I don't do anything Batman wouldn't approve of.

But one time they scanned an item and entered in the wrong multiple and I got some units for free. I didn't notice until later. Not something you bother taking back and correcting. My conscience is free.

>>6919694
Only once when I was a little kid, and still feel guilty to this day. I took a couple tootsie rolls from a candy isle at a store out on Long Island. A friend did too so it kind of like let's try it out and see if we can get away with it which we did. We bought a lot of other stuff from the place before, during, and after which in my mind mitigates it a bit. Otherwise no, I don't steal stuff from stores.

I used to do weekly beer runs on kroger during the final years of High School and sometimes I would just get 3 or 4 whip cream cans and inhale them walking down the empty aisles.

>>6921679
The olde whip it trick, they caught on to us doing that and put plastic wrap on the cans. Ever do one that someone shook up and get a mouthfull of whipped cream, bah!

My mom would buy those things and I'd take a couple hits from the can when she wasn't then was like "hey, why don't these cans work properly?" "Dunno mom, they must be defective."

Literally one time i saw this cool looking candy on TV, but when i went to the store it was expensive as fuck, and i was not sure if i would like it, so I just ate it there, decided it was not worth the money, and left the packet there, I was like 7.

Any tips on how to steal through self-checkout? I use them all the time, so many people talk about stealing shit through them, so how the fuck have i not figured that shit out yet?

>>6921701
Maybe you're not a dishonest asshole like some people here on the chans?

i steal those plastic cups from restaurants.

never having to buy cups is great

I used to steal food and liquor all the time in middle/high school. Honestly had plenty of money, just felt like I didn't want to spend my money if I could just take it.

Yeah, I got caught a couple of times.

>>6921701
If you get a criminal record which you might for doing that it'll hurt your chances at jobs later. A lot of companies do criminal background checks and they'll notice even minor shit, because it shows a lack of moral character and then they might not want to trust you with their shit, especially if it's other people's money.

Any decent company, there are a lot sleazy companies that'll hire anyone but at a very low wage.

I ask for extra whipped butters/jam packets/ketchups whenever I order fast food. I never use them with my meal lmao

>>6921709
Nah i am pretty dishonest, just a complete coward when it comes to the what-if's.

>>6921723
I whipped yer mum with my special jam packet

>>6921729
You'll grow up, just remember that a criminal record will precede you, especially these days.

>>6919701
i loved this bit

>>6921737
I left school early and ended it with no grades at all, have no plans for life, and the highest point of my work life was poundland.

I've rung up organic vegetables as non-organic at self check out

>>6921701
>Any tips on how to steal through self-checkout?

It's so fucking easy you have to be a complete moron to not notice the glaring flaws in their master security plan.

>>6921748
Lots of people left school early and went on to become millionaires and billionaires. Most of them knew that American schools suck, especially the age based system that puts people in with niggers.
Leaving school early's no excuse.

>>6921753
Just because you notice a security flaw or a host of flaws and can easily defeat them doesn't mean that you have to take advantage of them for ill gotten gains.

>>6921661
Batman would have taken back the excess and paid double for it.
Your conscience should be heavy on your shoulders, thief scum.

>>6921730
I'm not OP, I don't deserve a mom joke.

when I was in highschool, I got super blazed and very cocky so a group of friends walked out the store with fried chicken and and some snacks. cops pulled us over, jacked my stash, my knife and had our parents pick us up.

>>6921765
If it's a chain store then who gives a shit.

>>6921912
I do, that's the point. I don't go through life being a theiving scumbag.

>>6921912
Are you a filthy occupier type out to get "THE MAN?"

>>6922287
>>6922291

>>6919694
When I was a kid (8) me and my friends woud semi-frequently steal crunch bars from the Rite aid. This was like 15 years ago. I regret nothing.

>>6919723
>didin't overdo it.
As decided by management They DID care, they just decided not to do anything as long as they figure they were exploiting you more than you were exploiting them to an acceptable margin. Capitalism is codified exploitation of others through deception.

>>6919694
Only ever by accident. One time there was a pluot that was hiding at the bottom of my cart. It was a weird fruit but I added a pluot to the next receipt anyway.

>>6922323
Naw I pay for it, it's included in my rent. Here's a funny one, some asshole at another apartment of mine split mine without me originally knowing about it, then when I noticed a signal degredation I not only cut his cable and restored my own but reported the cunt. If the fucker had asked in the first place I might have let him do it but he didn't. I also put a note on his cut cable telling him to fuck off. He got the message and didn't fuck with my cable anymore.

Not me but a friend of mine used to go to the local market around 2-3am and steal all the sushi.
His reasoning was it was going to go bad the next day anyway might as well take it off their hands.

>>6922485
Maybe he should have just asked them in the first place. A lot of places knowing that stuff will get thrown out will let you take it or they'll leave it somewhere, with permission it's not stealing.

>>6919701
I don't think I've ever laughed at any of this guy's material.

>>6922485
I was a homeless fuck for a few months, met up with some people and you'd really be surpised that just by asking a lot of places will just give you stuff or at least leave it outside when they close. We'd all share that stuff with each other, nobody wants to be homeless and I got outta that situation fast by getting a decent job.

>>6921711
drinking from plastic cups

gross , use glass

>>6922497
You don't know the pleasure of a red solo cup? Allow me to enlighten you...

Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup (Unedited Version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKZqGJONH68

>>6922485
I've worked within towing and when a truck goes off the road the workers take a shitload of the cargo since it's going to be thrown away anyway. Technically stealing but noone cares

>>6922492
Then you are a very sad person

>>6919694

I was homeless for about a year when I was 16-17. I hung out with a group of like 3-5 other homeless teenagers. I was the cleanest and most mature of the group, so I would go to the deli at the grocery store and order food there and then just walk out. The deli assumes you'll pay at the front, the front assumes you paid at the deli. No fucks are given at all.

We only took what we needed for the day for all of us. It sucks we had to steal, but we did draw the line as stealing from individuals. (no breaking into cars, no breaking into houses etc)

>>6919694
Nope, not as an adult.
When I was a little kid, I used to steal gum and candy from the local five and dime store (back when five and dime stores were still around), but stopped out of sheer guilt and have never stolen food since then. I'd have to be so poor I couldn't afford anything to steal food, and even then, I'd try to find a food bank or even dumpster dive first.

>>6922507
Naa I'm happy. I just don't get his popularity.

I've never been poor enough to need to steal. And I'm not an asshole, so I don't steal for fun.

>>6921679
When my sister and I were little, our mom yelled at some kids for huffing whipped cream at the Grand Union. I think that was the first time my sister was ever embarrassed of our mother. The first of many.

>>6922554
If you're ever homeless in NYC there are a lot of churches and temples that provide food. There's no reason to steal, good food too but it's always best to provide for yourself. It's a crutch to use for a few months until you can deal with things. After my mom died I said fuck it and went for the wine, women, and song with my savings. That didn't last long and bang, it's homeless time in NYC.
No fun and not something I want to ever have to deal with again. I did meet some interesting people, at long as you're not a theiving scumbag then folk are there for you.

>>6922287
It's only thieving and it's only being a scumbag if you're caught. I wouldn't do it from local stores though, that's a dick move, but soulless corporations are another.

>>6922599
You come across as a stupid filthy occupy type that wears a big A in a circle in a pleather jacket.

Thieving and stealing is what you think of it, it has nothing to do with getting caught though that can hurt what people trust you for later. I'm not gonna argue this with you you're a fucking loser, get over it and get over yourself.

You're the soulless one. If you believe in souls which you must since you brought it up, then it's up to you what to do. It's up to you what to do and on your own conscience if you still have one.

>>6922599
For all of your bullshit you could just get a job and make a lot more money than stealing some stupid shit will bring in.

>>6922554
>dumpster dive

Don't. Recently in my area, a store threw out some contaminated peaches, and someone took them out of the dumpster. The news stations ran stories warning whoever took them not to eat them, because they'd make you violently ill. You never know if what you've taken out of a dumpster is safe or not. It's safer to go to a food bank or steal something.

>>6922619
Calm down faggot. I don't steal from stores, but if there's any type of store that would hurt the least from the occasional pickpocket it's big brand chain stores. Don't forget that these stores often monopolize and drive out local businesses.

Stealing isn't inherently bad. Sometimes it's necessary. And I say if you gotta steal from somewhere, don't steal from local, honest businesses.

>>6922624
I have a job. Well, I had one until I got caught stealing shit from the warehouse. But the point is they wouldn't have known about it unless they had caught me, and the monetary value of what I took is essentially negligible.

Anyway, I have an appointment at court because I stole a scooter from this thrift store. Gotta go.

>>6922599
You do realize that when those soulless corporations lose money (as they do when you steal from them), the people who get screwed over are the minimum-wage workers, not the millionaire bosses, right? If Walmart loses too much money, they'll cut their workers' wages, hours, and benefits. When you steal from Walmart, you're stealing from those elderly greeters at the door, you're stealing from that kid trying to pay his way through college, you're stealing from that single mom working three jobs to feed her kids. You're not sticking it to the man, you're just being a selfish, shortsighted asshole.

>>6922650
No I'm not. If things get bad for the workers they'll protest. I'm stealing from the man in the suit.

>>6922651
Oh wow. You think they haven't protested before? You think it did any good? You think things aren't shit for them as it is, and getting shittier? You have a harsh reality waiting for you when you move out of your parents' house.

>>6922636
You're so full of shit that your excuses for being a scumbag that you don't know that your full of shit.

>>6922650
>If Walmart loses too much money, they'll cut their workers' wages, hours, and benefits.
no they wont, the shareholders lose money, who are a bunch of rich fucking assholes anyways.
the lower rung are all minimum wage you dumb fuck, they bleed their employees dry so much that they cant be taken away from anymore.

>>6922636
You're so full of shit making excuses for being a thieving scumbag that you don't realze how full of shit you are.

>>6922662
u seem like a disgruntled retail employee and for that i am very sorry for u

On several occasions I have eaten a package of sushi while shopping at HEB and hid the empty package on a shelf. I've also "forgot" about the large items on the bottom part of the shopping cart while checking out. Victimless crimes

>>6922703
>Victimless crimes
By definition a crime has to have a victim.
Scum like you with warped moral logic drive up the prices for everyone else.

I stole junk food from this small convenience store run by two Asians.

Also helped "friends" steal the junk food too but they sold me out.
I promptly responded by smearing shit on their windows in the dead of night.

>>6922708
>by definition

>>6922708
I'm glad you're having to pay more while I pay less (or not at all)

>>6922731
you're going to get caught eventually

>>6922736
When you're white, adult, and appear clean cut like myself all you have to do is apologize. Been caught before

>>6922747
true, being white male over 21 is pretty great

>>6922708
You mean like being gay? How about being black and sitting at the front of the bus? Don't talk shit you fucking mong.

>>6922731
Having a job means that unlike nigger frog posters like you, I don't mind paying.

>>6922776
Oh yeah let's time travel back 70 years

>>6922776
Nigger fags shouldn't be allowed on buses in the first place.

>>6919694
That one girl got me into shoplifting last year. I stole food at Aldi a couple times, never too much. Got caught and had to pay a fine of 10€ eventually.

>>6922804
But there's probably a criminal or civil record of it if it was reported.

>>6922820
Probably not if it was such a low amount of product.

>>6922776
What the fuck are you on about, grandpa?
In any case, Black people were made to sit at the back of the bus during segregation in the USA.
Is your Alzheimers medication working? Perhaps you should speak to your carer?

I have a restaurant I bring luncboxes with me and put food from the buffet in them. I take a seat in a corner booth where they can't see me

>>6922820
There was no record, after the lawsuit was dropped. But they said I couldn't hope for it to be dropped if they caught me again.

I work at a grocery store
a certain amount of store losses are just automatically considered as employee sampling each month, they expect it to happen.
I "sneak" food all the time but really they only care if the product actually has to be used in something, or if you eat near a workstation (food safety will have your fucking head)

i stole a kit kat once and a cop slapped me in the face for it

>>6922791
>>6922891
Sorry, at what point since the abolition of these laws did the definition of crime change?

I'm such a bad thief it's not even funny. I only ever tried stealing four times.

First time I tried to steal a candy bar from a drug store as a young child, but my mom caught me a made me put it back.

Second time, I stole this kids shiny rocket's Mewtwo. Got away with it, he was universally hated anyway.

Third, tried to steal a vitamin water by putting it in my pocket and covering it with my skateboard. Shop owner spotted that big ass bulge from a mile away.

And the last time, me and a friend tried stealing Snickers from a Sav-on. They sell them by the box, so we opened up a box and took out two Snickers. Ran into some friends on our way out of the store and chatted for a bit. We parted ways then security was on us. We we're "banned" from the store, but the funniest part is my friend got a job there several years later, lol.

I played look-out a bunch though. My skateboard crew had a phase where we would steal liquor from a grocery store, sell it to this nearby Russian restaurant and use the money to buy weed. Not my proudest memories.

>>6923025
>My skateboard crew had a phase where we would steal liquor from a grocery store, sell it to this nearby Russian restaurant and use the money to buy weed.
Uh, Davonte?

>>6923039
lol, no

>>6922969
Let me repeat it for you:
> a crime requires a victim.
>If it is considered lawful then it is not a crime.
>If it is not a crime then there is no victim.
This is a difficult concept I know, if you are still confused get your carer to explain it to you. He will be used to communicating with you in two or less syllables thus having a better chance of you understanding than I could ever hope for.

I used to steal a donut and eat it as I shopped. I steal cheese sometimes.

stole some groceries from walmart because my family was fucking poor a few times and it was just after a hurricane
>>6922488
>>6922485
they dont do that anymore, at least publix doesnt because someone sued

>self serve bulk bags
>get wild rice
>use code for white rice
>get walnut halves
>use code for peanuts
>get almonds
>use code for french lentils or something
>no one ever checks the bag contents
>if caught, can always say "oh, I must have accidentally input a digit wrong or something"

I'm not stealing. I'm haggling. The lowest priced item for the entire bulk display uses an average margin for everything. The store is not playing 6 dollars a pound for walnuts so they "have to" mark them up to 10. They're paying 2 dollars a pound. You're just the sucker paying extra margin because they think you will.

No but I've had friends who would literally just walk around walmart, target, etc during their dead hours and just fucking eat a ton of shit inside the store while walking around.

Blows my mind how no one ever gets caught.

>>6919694
Back in Harlem, me and my black friend Darius would always talk shit about the Dominicans that worked in the corner store. We would go in, take a bunch of chips, and run out making sure the cashier saw us. Then his son would run after us, catch us, and we all would go back to the store and pay for what we wanted. It was fun

Sorry Mr Rashid I stole a snickers in 2006

>>6923320
aha i final got u u son of basterd bitch

nowe i trakck ure ip u son of a donkey whore then i fuck yor motha hahahahaaha i show her good indian dick hahhaha

I live near three whole foods and steal regularly from them. I hit each one every five to six weeks and only grab small essentials. My entire spice collection (~$250), cheese, butter, garlic, meat, shampoo, you name it. I've saved around $2000 over the past year lifting things. Just find a blind spot in camera system and practice placing small objects through a small opening in a backpack. Also helps being white and in a well of neighborhood.

>>6923320

He should be paying us to eat that shit!

>>6919701
This is supposed to be funny?

>go to grocery store
>self-serve meat section
>get 2 lbs organic free range chicken breasts
>go through self checkout
>mark as bananas

>>6919694
used to go to souplontation with my friend every weekend with his delusional grandmother. she'd always expect me to pay for myself but i never did, and i just told the cashier i wasnt going to eat anything. then id just eat a fuck ton of food, soft serve ice cream , baked goods, ect casually and no one cared or said anything(probably assumed i had payed, was always a busy crowded place). did this for at least 18 months every other week or so. employees eventually caught people doing the same thing , heard people get arrested . nope.jpg. havent had souplontation in almost a year.

>>6922563
you're not the only one tbh fam

I would never admit this IRL but yes. All the fucking time. I am poor, yes, but I never steal. But I steal food.
I stole today.
I stole a small thing of banana bread ($4.75 value) and a small thing of garlic stuffed olives ($4 value or so).
I would never in a thousand years steal from a department store or something expensive. Never. But food....
Most expensive thing I stole I think was a $12 cheese wedge from Sam's Club.

>>6924075
>fam

>self-checkout
>everything is potatoes

>>6919694
stole a shitload of booze in college before I hit 21

defiantly turned into a pretty bad drinking problem

I got caught stealing a Pog slamer when I was like 10 years old and haven't stolen anything since.

>>6924082
Stop acting like you aren't a thief

That being said I'm sorry that you are in a position where you have to steal food, wish I could help all that can't afford it

Not from the store but it was a pizza place in a convention center where you got it behind a counter and had to walk to a cashier kind of to the side.

I wasn't thinking and just walked right off with the pizza. Once I remembered that I didn't pay I was sick to my stomach afraid I was going to get caught. I didn't know if I should go back or not to pay, I didn't but ya

>>6924213
rule #1 of food shop lifting
if you didn't get yelled at on your way out they never knew

I was caught stealing once, when I was five. I used to enjoy stealing. Simple, really.

>>6919694
my list
>chocolate
>batteries
>greek yougurt
>doritos
>bread
>instant food
>multivitamin powders
>tuna
>micro sd cards
>caps
Also try to steal an iPad, but I was caught

>>6919694
Yesterday some pepperoni at self checkout. It was 5 dollars.