/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I got hot caramel that splashed on the knuckle of my dominant hand's thumb. Not I have a nice mutant looking lymph filled bubble on that knuckle. Good thing the pain nerves went with the epidermis.

>>6908270
It went down my top and it took me a good five seconds to register what the fuck happened. I lost my appetite completely. Never making soup again in a blender ever.

>ruining tits over cauliflower
not worth it bro, not worth it

one time I bought ghost pepper sauce and was shaking it up to try for the first time. I was naked of course and the cap came off while I was shaking, splashed sauce all over my dick and balls.
I spent the rest of the night with my junk submerged in a glass of milk trying to make the burning stop.

>>6908279
Immersion blenders for soups. Always. Got burned once too many with a standard blender.

line cook reporting. i get small burns nearly every day. yesterday i peeled back the foil from a pork shoulder i had been braising, and the steam got me pretty good on the fleshy part between my thumb and index finger. steam burns are no bueno, kids.

op, that burn looks pretty gnarley. put some cream on it, and maybe a bandage so that skin won't rub against it.

also this>>6908281

>>6908265
Put some olive oil, cocoa butter, or ea tree owl on that quick!!!!

>>6908281

immersion blenders are just as likely to spew shit everywhere if you don't know what you're doing.

literally all you need to do is take the lid off and hold a towel over the jug.

>>6908279
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNVgZGuaiN0&feature=youtu.be&t=7m48s

>>6908285
*tea tree oil

>>6908292
Oh god its him and his unnecessary cursing and " i don't give a fuck" attitude.

>>6908265
shoulda used a vitamix, that fucker can cook soup right in it. i shit you not, pour ingredients in, put on high, have a beer, turn off when you see the steam (8-10 min depending on thickness)

>>6908285
>>6908284
I ran up stairs and polysporined the shit out of it. Vitamin e is around too. It hurts like a bitch regardless. I have avoided burns my culinary life but this one takes the cake

>>6908296
At 7:48 he says not to do exactly what OP did

>>6908265
Put some áloe lotion on it.
>on stream

>>6908280
This sounds hilarious.

>>6908314
this tbh

how 2 fluid dynamics, sucks you got burnt but i'd give OP some dynamic fluids

>>6908265
Are you that Mexican chick who drinks all the beer?

Keep posting OP

>>6908280

i rubbed dave's insanity sauce on my japseye once for a fiver. i was in too much pain to remember to collect the fiver.

>>6908265
>HEY GUISE! LOOK AT MY ALMOST NEKKID BEWBZ! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!
Filtered.

>>6908265
Texasbabe/Breanne?

>>6908349
>>6908362
>>6908361
>being this desperate
calm down boys, 50% of /ck/ are female

>>6908361
>implying I intentionally burned myself for fun to show my boobs -_- c'mon son

>>6908362
>>6908349
Canadian who drinks beer.


Who else /injured/? The last time I got burned was piping hot shepards pie in mouth. Couldn't taste anything for two weeks

>>6908379
do your boobs have a little sag? i like em like that

>>6908377
>50% of /ck/ are female
>being this stupid

>>6908379
One time I stuck my dick in some potato salad my aunt made, I didn't know she out jalapeno in it.

>>6908387
Because it's a female! lololol

If you hadn't noticed, the thread was mostly on topic at first-- it's like you guys never see boobs on the internet or something.

>>6908408
I blame /r9k/ for the influx of bleating manchildren terrified of women that aren't their mummies.

>>6908389
Why? Why did you do that? Kek

>>6908265
>Working at a McDonalds
>Put on the fry station during the nightclub rush hour
>Trying to unload and restock fry-cages as fast as I can
>Hand slips and the metal mesh is resting on my forearm for a good 5 seconds before I can cringe it off
>Now have a faded criss-cross scar on forearm

Seeing as I've only green-stick fractured my right arm before I can confidently say it was the worst pain I've ever had and I'm glad it wasn't prolonged.

>>6908265
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

>>6908379
I tried Cantonese soup dumplings (xiao long bao) once. The skin was mildly warm so I assumed it was safe but I burned my mouth when I bit into it and piping hot soup squirted out.

>>6908265
Anyone play BOO in college? Dumbest thing ever and it was all over my dorm apartment buildings.

When someone is cutting something you sneak and yell BOO loudly and hope they mess up.

>>6908538
WTF my anxiety reflexes would cut someone with that. Sounds like a great way to get a knife in the face, hahaha

>>6908537
>when I bit into it and piping hot soup squirted out.
Jesus Christ trying to eat these things after a night of heavy drinking is a nightmare.

>>6908355
I cooked with habaneros once. Was drinking, took a leak, and I got it on my dick without thinking. That fucking hurt. What's worse...I was cooking my girl dinner. She loved it. Ended up having sex like 6 hours later, forgot to scrub my dick... we had also just stopped using condoms cause we had been together for 3 years. I felt so bad afterwards. Its been years since that and she still gets jokes in on me about it.

>>6908547
Apparently the trick is to place the soup dumpling onto one of those Asian style porcelain spoons and then nibble a small hole in the dumpling. This allows you to check whether the soup is still hot or not. Of course, I learned this after I burned my tongue and cheeks.

>>6908558
You gave the ol' hot pepper.

>>6908361
tits are not a sexual organ, flyover babby

>>6908538
I do that to my autistic daughter all the time. She thinks she wants to be a chef and won't stop watching barefoot contessa and chopping up all my groceries.

>>6908265>>6908379
HEAVY TITS
E
A
V
Y

SOMALIA
O
M
A
L
I
A

>>6908537
I did this, except with deep fried mushrooms and oil.

>>6908265
Op, the best cure for a nasty burn like that one is plenty of semen.

.

.

:^)

I'm gonna need a timestamp to prove you were in fact making cauliflower and not just playing with hot grease.

>>6908265
Sweet boobs. Boner city.

>GUYS!
>GUYS WAIT!
>GUYS!
>I-
>I SWEAR IM A GIRL!
>I SWEAR
>SEE?!
>I HAVE BOOBS LOOK!

ADDIS ABABA
D
D
I
S

A
B
A
B
A

>>6908265
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

>Working at a grocery store deli
>On fry pit for a bit
>Morning crew inept as fuck, leaves caked on residues on heating coils and doesn't filter oil
>I fix it by draining everything into a bottom retainer bucket and clean interior
>Shit's so fucked the oil won't recirculate to top so I remove the bucket to check the connection
>Piece of shit guide rail breaks as I pull out the bucket of hot oil
>God-tier reflexes see a torrential wave of hot oil come forward in slow motion
>Do a Solid Snake-esque (albeit sloppy by Plissken's standards) roll away from the bucket
>Get tagged on about 20% of my arm
>Jesus, the pain...

I told the manager to fix the goddamned frier and fix it good or OSHA was getting some pretty gnarly pics

Also a line cook, I get small burns almost every day
Sometimes pretty bad ones like pic related, which suck but I'm used to it

I've never ever cut myself but it's bound to happen at some point

>>6908987
I don't know why it uploaded sideways but w/e

>>6908265
>you gonna post those tits or what?

Just got one on my elbow. I work two different jobs and I get used to shutting the doors with my elbow at one. Jump into a busy night at the other place and the doors fucking burned me. I've also reached into a sink helping out a new dishwasher. Grabbed right onto a fucking knife. I got a gash on all four fingers. Super glued them shut but they still bled all shift. I just triple gloved and finished the night. I still have nightmares about reaching into sinks.

>>6908265
OP can you provide another pic of burn sight, i would really appreciate it.

Line cook here, I have arms all over my hands and forearms (I think about 26 in total)

I also have a scar the size of a tennis ball on my thigh from a dish washer nudging me without saying behind during a rush, causing me to splash a solid amount of hot oil from a pan onto my thigh.

Now every time I wear shorts I feel self conscious af

(It kind of looks vaguely like a really obese cat though)

>>6908265
Those are some pretty ugly tits

>>6909045
>I have arms all over my hands and forearms

>>6909074
What? The Black Goat of the Woods can't try to cook a meal for her thousand young every once in a while?

>>6909074
*scars
Can't tell if I was so eager to write arms I just wrote it twice, or autocorrect fucked me up

>>6908265
The raging racist white power soup was so offended with your tan complexion it turned you white. I'm very sorry for your loss. #blacklivesmatter

>>6908265
meh.
it'll either scar or go away.
either way you're fine.

>>6909089
nice shitpost fucking faggot, I bet you're australian cunt

>>6909092
But the kids at school might start being mean and call her an oreo for having a white filling inside.

>>6909094
No, not Australian.

>>6909095
>implying all the girls haven't gotten white fillings inside already

>>6909099
shhh...that's Victoria's secret

>>6908290
>know what you're doing
What, immersing it?

If you're too retarded to use a stick blender you deserve burns

>>6908565
I read at a place in china (best xiaolongbao I've ever had) that the right way to to do it (or at least their way) is to put the xiaolongbao in the soup spoon and just immediately jam that fucker with a chopstick. Soup pours out into the spoon and you eat it like you were taking a spoonful of dumpling filled soup. The place had pretty small xiaolongbao so it worked much better than any other method I've seen

>>6908265
Please refrain from mentioning your sex and/or gender while visiting /ck/. Although you may not be aware of this (although I think you are), many people posting on 4chan are not in an intimate relationship.

Therefore, referring to your femininity can be highly offensive to others, as they visit /ck/ to have fun and intellectual discourse, not to be reminded of their shortcomings (as perceived by society).

I hope you remember this in the future and refrain from using any key words that can be used as gender identifiers. It really is not that much to ask and will prevent threads from degenerating into flame/troll disasters.

Some of us also choose to be single and our virginity is not a badge of shame. The inherent superficial and highly opportunistic behavior of women is not attractive to every male, and therefore we do not have to be constantly reminded of your kind while on /ck/. It is not necessary and can be considered, "attention whoring" (a very just term).

Thank you very much,

- /ck/

>>6908265
>>6909114
I've read that if a woman like OP spritzes soup on her breasts and tenderly licks it off on cam good things will happen.

>>6909114
Jamming chopsticks into a xiaolongbao is a surefire way to have boiling hot broth explode everywhere. Just nibble it like >>6908565 said

>>6908265
MOAR
O
A
R

i bet your nipples look like little 4 inch pizzas

>>6909166
But they'd be brown so they'd be more like cookies that spurt milk.

>>6908265
M'lady your boobs appear to be a little saggy but worry not for it is just the way I prefer them

>>6909110

they're literally just as likely to send shit flying if it's hot. even if you immerse it. plus they're shitty with high volumes in large pots.

>>6909134
Your insecurities and weakness should not dictate how others conduct themselves.

Basically, the solution to most of your problems is to get over yourself.

>>6909262
Kill yourself just like party wolf would.

Not before you run rape your bro though.

Cut myself deep in my finger while cleaning a cleaver which due to its weight went nice and deep.

dropped one of my favourite knives which hit the stone floor with the tip first and it broke, still pissed about that one

numerous small cuts that did not need stitches and a few burns

Blending hot soup is a thing? I've not heard of this.

>>6909134
kind of hard for OP to to show the burn without boobs as the burn is between her boobs

how much of an insecure neckbeard are you that a girl on /ck/ scares you

>>6909613
if you want your soup to be fine without chuncks you jam the immersion blender in and let it do it's thing

>>6909615
>>6909484
That is very old pasta, newfriends

>>6909618
Wouldn't that be something you take care of beforehand?

>>6908265
When I first started posting on CK I was pretty new to cooking; I got injured 4 times in about 2 months and haven't hurt myself in the last 6 months now.

The first two were burns on my right hand. This happened twice lmao.
> pre heat oven to 425F
> sear chicken in carbon steel pan
> put pan into oven
> 5 minutes later pull pan out of oven w/ my bare hand

2nd degree burns both times on my fingers and palm; huge ass blisters, crzy pain for like 24 hours, never went to a doctor or wtvr.


3rd time was working on knife skills just sliced a finger that required stitches.


4th time was drunk
>ayy I'm choppin these veg
>leme toss the knife up in the air and catch it
>lands in my thigh
mfw I got rekt.


No more newb mistakes for a long time now though. I don't plan on anything else happening since I know what I'm doing now.

nail care regime OP? mirin those cuticles pretty hard

>>6909641
I aint going to chop my cauliflower into millimeter size chunks.

>>6908964

should have pwned for 250K bro you need a lawyer

>>6909643
dude, you sound like a walking disaster. and that comes from a guy who is the walking disaster of his friendgroup

>>6909641

no. raw, dry ingredients don't blend well.

>>6909643
> 5 minutes later pull pan out of oven w/ my bare hand

I understand being new to cooking at all but seriously? Why did you think that this was a good idea?

Also just to be on topic - I have a somewhat deep scar right above my index finger which I got from sharpening my knife on a ceramic drinking glass (turned upside down)

i got some dank ass burns when i was prepping for a pizza party that evening. i had really bad sciatica so i was bent double over this whole rolled pork belly i was deep frying. pockets of fat were bursting open and shit, it was going in my eyes, fat streaks were dropping onto my fingers, and i was just laughing my arse off. trouble is it was a pretty shallow pan with a long handle and when i jumped after a huge droplet hit my foot, i nudged the handle and a fucking wave of it slipped over and went all down my legs, i was wearing shorts. i had fucking mental burns but that pork belly was good as FUCK

>>6909665
I usually use a pan that has a padded type handle thing on it; was new to the entire pan being metal, so without thinking just reached down and grabbed it.

>>6909671
err I should have said that I was used to using a pan that didn't have a metal handle at the time.

>>6909095
>>6909099
>>6909175
>>6908349

how the hell is this a brown person this chick is Italy-flavored at best

>>6908387
fucking 90% of /ck/ is female ffs

>>6908361

I dont mind looking at some tan, bubbly tits.

>>6908265
Maybe you should've worn an apron you dumb slut.

>>6908361

look at this faglord

>>6908265
got get checked for diabetes, dark spots are a sure sign.

I burnt my knob making french fries once, can I post that?

>>6909700
do it fam

>>6909678
Should could be of many different races or ethnicities. It is impossible to tell from her skin tone what she is.

>>6909726
Yes, we won't be able to tell for certain until she posts her nipples.

>>>/soc/ is that way

>>6909729
That will just create more questions?

>>6909764
Shh. We'll deal with that when we get there

I will need samples of the milk as well to do a complete genealogical profile.

Why are people replying to this as if it's actually OP?

>>6909865
OP here, I was replying. just wanted to hear stories to make me feel better about myself ;_;

I'm going to get a stick blender instead so I don't do this again.

>>6909946
I think the real lesson here is to be fully clothed while cooking. I am surprised you haven't experienced some hot splatter from pan frying to teach you clothes with full coverage aren't optional in the kitchen.

>>6909946


NAIL CARE, BITCH
>tell your secrets now

>>6909700
>equating penis with breasts

>>6908852
Girls tend to have boobs.

But I bet your fat ass has bigger titties than anyone here.

Nearly sliced my finger off at work running on no sleep awake for 34 hours. Continued to work for 15 minutes with one hand bleeding into mop bucket while trying to get the attention of my coworkers who were dicking around. Wasn't nearly as bad as the girl who did slice her thumb tip off with the slicer. They re-attached it though.

>>6909976
they are both sexual organs

>>6908265
> cut myself on Chilli can
> told dad
> he said I was a mistake

>>6909989
Nope. Sorry Amerilard.

>>6909989
They are both erogenous zones.

>>6908361
Virgin alert

>>6910007
According to men.

Breasts are for feeding babies.

>>6910011
and looking like butts

>>6910011
I remember one woman was worried about getting breast implants because they could deprive her of the erotic sensations from her breasts so it isn't just men.

>>6908265
I guess one day I left my oven mitts on stove near the burner and the tip burned a hole. Later on I cooked a lasagna in a glass casserole dish pulled it out burned my fingers dropped my casserole dish shattered lasagna and glass everywhere had a price of lasagna land on my pinky toe making it bubble up.

I sword off glass pans since then.

>>6909726
she sure as fuck isn't white

>>6910011
Fuck you, I'm a man and I love it when bitches play with my nipples when we bone. Feels goodman

>>6908265
london london
tits tits
london london
tuts
BIG OL TAPPY FLITS
inb4 "teehee sillly boys tits arent sex organ XD

>>6908558
>Was drinking, took a leak, and I got it on my dick without thinking. That fucking hurt.
I never understood this one. It's just a slight tingling sensation but it doesn't hurt.

>>6908580
>>6909615
>>6909976
>>6909983
>>6910001
>>6910007
>>6910011

lol all these progressive cunts itt
If tits aren't sexual pls kindly show us your / your gfs / your mums tits ?
no? too sexual?
tldr this thread is pasta/bait and if not op is a legit bona fide whore

burn your tits closer to your nipples next time

>>6910059
Glass pans are deadly. I've exploded quite a few and haven't been a fan of those either. I stick with pic related for cooking things in the oven.

>the shepards pie I burned my tongue on but it was delicious damnnit.

i was hoping to see some anon's tits.
anyways
>cooking something
>used a bit too much oil
>splashed down on my toe
>a single drop
>burned like a motherfucker
>not visible anymore
be careful

>>6910193
your trip name
>kek'd

>>6910196
>trip name
nah brah, thats just filling in the name field

OP shows us your tits already, no face needed, we all know youre a whore by now

>>6910193
>>6910196
>>6910197

I swear to christ it looks like friction burns...

>>6910219
emberrassing.
i only want to see her tits, other than that, this thread sucks

>>6910095
Obviously

>>6908265
Show more tits

Well this thread sure went to shit

lets see some more tits tbh

>>6908265
wow boobs on ck? awesome

Show some nipple or don't bother next time.

>>6909074
>(I think about 26 in total)

>>6908265

Cauliflower soup?

Clearly you deserved it.

OP is all like "How can I make a soup that tastes the most like farts possible?"

>>6909678
>italy
>white

>>6909729

This tbh

I'm expecting tasty dark brownish eraser-head nipples tbh

>>6910377
Italy is pretty culturally diverse. I'm Italian and I have pink nipples, also burn in the skin.

>>6910503
*burn in the sun

>>6910359
this is so right..

>>6910377
>an entire country is one ethnicity

Anon, if that were true Germany and Sweden aren't white nations either. Come on.

>>6908265
Why are your tits so saggy?

>>6910557
The vast majority of them are anon, the sooner you accept this the easier the future will be.

>>6910572
Naw, I'll just stick to porn. Saggy tits and roast beef are gross

Nice tits. Show a hint of nip next time you burn yourself.

>>6910599
>>6910692
>>6910557

>>6908265
that is like 10th stage diabetes right there.

>>6910705
That's you.

>>6910705
Why are they wearing fake teeth?

>>6910557
>>6910599
It would be okay if they were low set but they're high set.

>>6910705
Why do you have cum stains on your shirt?

>>6910726
it's also my jizz rag

>>6910011

Virgin femanon detected.

Never met a chick who didn't like having her nipples played with/nibbled/sucked on during foreplay.

They're definitely an erogenous zone.

>>6910726

>cu/ck/ can't even recognize pizza grease stains

A week or so ago I tried to pick up a burning hot frying pan I had just taken out of the oven.

damn i love tits so much

>>6908379
>implying you needed to whip out your left tit to show off that scar

>>6908566

>>6910742
>Virgin femanon detected.

>Never met a chick who didn't like having her nipples played with/nibbled/sucked on during foreplay.

>>6908265
GG. Always fill only halfway, stuff's like artillery sometimes.

Anyway I may as well contribute to this.

>three weeks ago
>making brisket
>into the smoker the meat goes, in goes the chips
>forgot the water pan
>go to put the water pan in
>clip my hand on one of the meat racks
>drop the pan, it doesn't fall out but it splashes water onto the burner, puts it out
>don't know this, close the unit, come back 5 minutes later
>temp's dropped to 200, no smoke coming from the top
>"Huh the burner must've gone out."
>don't think, hit the igniter twice
>THWACK THWACK THW-
>BOOM
>jet of fire blasts out the top of the smoker, out sides and out the bottom
>burned the hair off my hand, a gap in the door-chassis seal shot in my face
>lost part of an eyebrow, half the stubble on my face
>blew out the seals from burner to hose
>hand was red for a better part of a week
>other than that, was fine
>mfw

By every right that should've been an ER trip.

>>6910177
trying too hard mate

>>6910837
can we see your tits

>>6908580
Then why do they make my dick hard?

>>6910921
I'm sure a slight breeze makes your dick hard.

>>6910932
Is a slight breeze your moms mouth?

I'm such a clumsy slut. Sorry guys

>>6910932
My dick gets hard when a hot girl walks by me and I smell her

>making chili
>stirring it while its at a rolling boil
>grease floating around, chillin out on top
>bubble bursts
>boiling grease flies onto my hand
>near instant blistering
>capsaicin continues to burn the wound

Chili was pretty good

>>6910941
Nobody wants to see your grotesque saggy tits, grandma

>>6910909
Sorry m80, not a girl.

But that was something recent and noteworthy. I have more stories if you want. I'm a successful cook when it comes to taste and "Did I hopelessly burn it?" but not "Did I do it unscathed?"

Always clip the edge of a pan or something.

>>6910960
i don't mind fam

Ah, shit... you burned your chest too?
Last week, I was carrying a pot of freshly-boiled mac to the sink at work, and it sloshed right onto my left funbag.
I now have four concentrated spots that are healing okay, but they'll undoubtedly leave dark spots like the one on my right boob.
>tfw your greatest assets get ruined in an instant
>think I'll just join a convent in Nepal

I also have a slight dark mark on my behind (in the "tramp stamp" area) because I overestimated how much space I had to stand up with a stock pot behind me.
The pot was hanging over the edge a bit, and when I finished what I was doing, I stood up... and that spot connected with the bottom edge. So that took a couple of weeks to heal.

>>6910946
creepy

>>6910852
show me your mums nonsexual tits mate?

>>6910921
Amputees make my dick hard.
That doesn't mean stumps are sexual organs.

People with foot fetishes can't say feet are sexual organs.

>>6910177
I can't because MEN have deemed them OBSCENE.
And I would be BANNED.

>making tea
>I pour the boiling water over my hand instead of in the cup

>>6909045
Prep cook at BBQ place, same on the arms/hands deal.
>waiting for someone to tell me that "it gets better" because of all the slash-like burn marks

Hell, a smoldering log just brushed my thumb this morning for half a second, and now there's a fucking bubble.
I'm going to have to pop, clean, and bandage it, but I'm really not looking forward to it.

>>6911064
People like Bikko so I think you'll be fine with some dark spots.

>>6911064
Shut up and show us your tits

>>6911079
Only if they're saggy and or small and or lopsided

>>6911129
Well, since you asked nicely :3

>>6911137
Um, thanks for responding for me, I guess?

>>6911129
I don't have camera or a Smartphone. No ACTUAL pics to be had. Sorry.

>>6911137
That's the youtube weirdo with the ears

There was a guy at work who slipped while cleaning the hood vents
His leg went into the fryer and fused his socks onto his skin

>>6911137
I wonder what happened to her

>>6909665
I did something similar once with some skewered strawberries on the grill. It sucked but eh sometimes you learn the hard way.

>>6910191
That looks sooo good. I haven't had decent shepherds pie since my ma passed. If only I had gotten the recipe.

>>6910193
Post feet

>>6910011
So are dicks

>>6911296
Oy vey

>>6911131
Like yours?

[spoiler]>>6908265

Women of /ck/, take notes. This is how you imply you're a female.

Not [spoiler][/spoiler]>le me and my boyfriend want to bake cookies!!

>>6911306
Wow, how new are you?

>>6911310

Old enough to kick your ass [spoiler] fucing nerd

>>6911306
>>6911310

YOU CALL THAT A BURN?

TRY WORKING THE LINE

HOO-AH

Is /ck/ literally so gay that nobody is going to ask her to take her top off? C'mon now lads, we're better than this.

OP, please show us more of your enormous tits.

>>6911634
Nah, its just a bunch of fat chicks and a few beta Asian guys.

>>6908265
>that neck

Youre probably 300lbs and 5" 4 tbh fam

>pic related, its what you were baiting for

>>6908265
if you dont understand how to blend hot liquids then dont do it fam

>>6911156
moved to Tokyo got forced into prostitution by the yakuza

>>6911301
>achievement unlocked

why is this fucking thread still around? why is this fucking thread at the top? why has /ck/ become this worthless?

>>6911773
Too many people on this board are fresh off the boat from /b/ and /soc/

>>6911773
are you surprised? the second I saw that picture I knew this thread would be up for days, and thats before I even knew OP belonged to those tata's. tbh I'd do the same though if I had a pair of tits, I'd troll the fuck out of you losers.

>>6911773
Because titties. So shut up.

>>6911837
lol tittayz xDDD shhh guise mom dont know i am on the internets after 10pm!!

>>6908265
I just want you to know OP, that I cranked down to your pic.
And by that I mean masturbated.
With my hand.

>>6911850
lol hurr durr

Actually I'm talking to her on Facebook because she's also an insomniac. And we're talking to each other from over 300 miles away!

Isn't technology grand??!?!

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

But seriously. Titties. What's wrong with that?

>>6911855
I fapped (slang for masturbate) to this post

>>6911875
i masturbated to the thought of you jacking off to the guy who you responded to who jacked off to OP's tits.

I'm a girl btw

Oh man I love all these cooking stories ITT.

>3 years ago
>making turkey dinner
>putting dishes away while oven heats up
>shove ceramic mug into cabinet
>forcing it in causes another mug to fall out
>close eyes and freeze in that brief second
>sound of shattering
>open eyes
>blood gushing from meat just below thumb and arm
>ceramic fragment somehow cut me
>have to go to ER
>turkey was shit

cutting potatoes in a rush, never do that.

bump

can't tell if anita sarkeesian or a trap

>>6911156
She shacked up with some german guy who was uncomfortable with her being famous for showing her tits around...

Like it's even possible to take back being a whore. What a fuckin chump.

god damn i love your boobs so much OP

>>6912086
They're just mundane normal tits lad...
Not to disrespect OP but the vast majority look like that.

>>6910011
>sucking this much at sex
Just end yourself before you drive a good man into depression, you insufferable frigid cunt

Holy shit I'm still in pain and never making soup again.

Ps why did someone steal my trip name? Kek

Tits are tits, not a big deal, you can buy them. I'm a home cook not an attention whore

>>6912144
If you weren't an attention whore you wouldn't adopt a name on an anonymous imageboard

>>6912023
You're kidding right? Sarkeesian is flat as shit

>>6912144
Just show us your boobs already, lady. What do you have to lose? Please?

>>6912188
Coming across as kind of pathetic m8

>>6910177
>muh men, muh objectification!

Hiding tits may make them more erotic, or they may be erotic anyway. In either case, having something that other people value and you control access to makes you more powerful, not less.

>nobody wants to trade with our country for its culture, all they want is to buy some of the vast quantities of oil we control! Boo hoo!

This is what you sound like.

>>6908265
>Oh look, I burned my tits. Better post on 4chan for cheap compliments.

You're a femanon, good job.

>>6912188
I think you may be looking for /b/.

>>6908265
> Floppy ass saggy tits
>Wearing a shirt showing that much cleavage

This is why men dont respect women.

I prefer them small and perky cute and a lil bouncy, imagine being knocked on the head by one of those floppy meat bags.

>>6910572
My beebs are perky c cup here
saggy tits means she was either really fat or shes had babies

Making a great case for female minds everywhere.

>>6911208
im a dude, there is no scar either, just a fucked up toe nail

>>6911301
He used to be obese and he is still obese.

>>6912272
SHANGHAI
H
A
N
G
H
A
I

>246 replies

I'll give you one guess why.

>>6912305
one second off of 5:55:55

>>6912305

because you've sucked so many cocks in your life?

Hey guys im just gonna bump this thread seeing as OP still hasnt posted her saggy boobs

>>6908265
Pic related is OP

>>6908265
Post boobs pls

>>6912548
Ugly out of shape shitskin.

>>6912548
Nice kitchen

>>6912587
Jelly poorfag hamplanet

>>6908265

Almost set my apartment on fire while cooking with the gf. We were cooking, I was sauteing the onions, started to make out, next thing we know the pan is spewing black smoke. Put the pan on the balcony on a hot pad, apartment full of smoke, fire alarms going off.

Place stank like smoke whever the fan over the stove was on, never got the security deposit back.

Once I was boiling pasta and then I forgot it for 4 hours. The pan was ruined, all black in the bottom, the pasta looked like black wiggly worms encrusted into the metal. Also it stunk and there was lots of smoke.

I honestly can't tell which posts are trolling and which are genuine. This is just pathetic. I expect this from /v/ and /b/. Not /ck/. Oh well. At least it started out genuine. Anyway the only scars I've gotten from coming were when I got some melted cheese on my left arm. Took the skin right off. Hurt like hell.

>>6912665
>coming
cooking* fuck this phone

>>6912665
What's pathetic is that comment like yours are the norm. This place used to have a nice atmosphere and threads were fun to read. Now it's full of self righteous pretentious cunts like you acting like cooking is something only accessible to some elite and like even gordon ramsay doesn't do stupid shit.

>>6912598
1.90m 89 kg, athletic and lean. Stay jelly skinnyfat shitskin.

I get a few small burns every once in a while from oil splatter.

>>6912669
How the hell is not liking people scream tits on /ck/ mean that I think cooking is elitist? Anyone can cook. I've never said anything about cooking being elitist. I go to /b/ or /v/ if I want to see stupid shit. I go to /ck/ to talk about food. That's all man. Chill out.

whores on MY /ck/? get the fuck out

>>6912678

is that a stretched out nutsack?

>>6912672
Like no one ever lied on the internet before. Not even OP and I can't stand her attention-whoring ass.

>burn mark gave OP white skin patch

Now just scald the rest of your body and you can ascend to superior whiteness instead of mexican or whatever you are.

>>6908265
I once grabbed a hot soldering iron. Stuff Called Ocean Potion and some gauze. Soak finger in potion, wrap in Gauze and go to sleep, never had any stinging or anything the next day. Just peely skin.

Good thread.

>>6909154
Excuse me, I meant poke it lightly. The soup will spill out in the spoon and it cools much faster. I like this method cuz it keeps your face away from hot soup

>>6912718
that is most certainly a penis

>>6912915
>>6912718
It's my forearm

>>6912548
Bad face, great kitchen.

It's a trade-off for sure

>>6912144
>namefag posts tits on 4chan
>not an attention whore, honest!

>>6912548
would destroy on that nice ass counter

>>6911306
>me and my boyfriend want to bake cookies!!
jeff pls go

Just spilled multi-purpose cleaner in my eye, it's a shame multi purpose cleaner doesn't hurt tits or I could attentionwhore about that too.

>>6910095
Neither was Hitler

>Austrians/Germans
>white

>>6913830
of course not, he was jewish

>>6908544
You sound like a jumpy pussy.

>>6913821
easy, fatso.

>>6912215
>>6912215
cool story bro. now show me your / your gfs / your mums / your grandmas non sexual tits? no? didn't think so fucking liberal feminist shitstain

>>6912144
lol liar whore slut

>>6911079
a.please provide evidence of one (1((ONE))) case of posting tits on 4chan resulting in ban.
b. post you / your gf/wife /your mum / your grandmothers "nonsexual tits"

>>6908379
lying dumb slut (male baitpoaster) everyone

>>6911075
the entire human body is a sexual organ.
you have downs syndrome btw

>>6910214
agreed, post tits.

>>6910001
reiterating: post your/ your gf/wifes / your mums / your grandmother "nonsexual" "totally normal" breasts then I will not only continue to disagree but spitefully wank over said images.

>>6912632
who gives a fuck you fucking beta cucklord

>>6910572
the vast majority ot fat lazy neet tits are anon,
>ftfy fucking fatcunt

>>6912144
How does it feel to be such a faggot you use a name on 4chan, but so dumb that you don't even do anything to prevent other people from using the same name?

>>6908265
This thread is STILL here?

TITS
I
T
S

OR
R

GTFO
T
F
O

WHORE
H
O
R
E

>>6908265

Hi Tomato.

Unlike the rest of the losers here, I am concerned about you. Please keep us updated with how well you are healing.

>>6914521
>m-maybe if I show empathy she will show me attention

Why do you bother doing this on an anonymous imageboard?

>>6908265
Your tits are disgusting, saggy sacks of shit.

Small tits are superior. Get your saggy shit out of here.

>>6914214
Loooooooooooool

>>6914549
What a gay

>>6914684
Incorrect.

>inb4 300

I wish i had tig ol bittys i'd start shit on 4chan every single day

>>6914721
But you do have big titties.

>>6914726

no mang they are pecs and they are golden like Apollos and covered in fine curly hair, I am a god

>/fit/ masterrace reporting in
>definitely into the big titty girls doe OP sorry about your burn

finally this thread hit the bump limit

gracefully die you piece of shit

>>6914739
i only agree bc she didn't post more tits tbh

>>6908265
>blending hot soup

>>6914067
I was being sincere.

>>6914521
Thanks anon, I'm so glad to see there's someone who cares. Everyone else in here is so thirsty kek. The burn is still the same really, I'll post more pics once it actually starts to heal.

>>6915952
He just wants more pics dummy