/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Whats wrong with sea spider

>movie theater food
>pretentious

>>6883037

Just look at that hoity-toity stack of vaguely stale bread, USDA Grade R beef, and slices of mostly-plastic cheese.

We get it, you're rich. You don't have to always be a damn braggart.

>>6883059
would totally eat crab in a movie theater instead of popcorn

>>6883034
food is not pretentious... people are...

>>6883111
Would you sit right in front of someone doing it, though?

>>6883146
This. I eat crab once or twice a year during the season here. Get my own dungeness right out of the river down at the port. There's nothing as pretentious as a man with a crab trap full of rotting chicken on the Oregon Coast.

food with sauce smeared like this

>>6883072
i love heston as a chef but this was too far.

>>6883059
Asian here. It is amazing how this movie watching tradition transcends cultural and religious barriers. Here in Asia, we eat them with our right hands while our unclean left hands are only used in the theater showers.

>>6883034
Lot's of foods are pretentious. The worst is when people make normal foods like such. Anything "deconstructed" is the worst, I have seen deconstructed burgers, kebabs, pies, all sorts of nonsense.

To pick one thing though, me? I'd serve crab legs.

had some lobster i got for free tonight

really wasnt that great tbh

sushi

>>6883034
Snow crab >>> King crab

>>6883034
Food can't be pretentious. Pretentiousness is a matter of intent. If you're eating a specific food to show off - to make those around you think you're richer and/or more worldly than you are - you're being pretentious. If you're eating that same food because you like it and can afford it there's no pretense involved.

>>6883340

you've never tried it though have you

>>6883206

it's clearly an attractive presentation.

everytime i post the vegetarian verison of something i feel like a pretentious little hipster

or if i order soy milk in my coffee

>>6883034
Oysters, clams and cockles

>>6883520
That's a lot of insecurity. Maybe you'd do well to just eat whatever you like and not give any fucks. You're not in sixth grade anymore; the other kids are not going to make fun of your lunch. And if they do, well fuck them.

>>6883576
well i am kind of a pretentious little hipster so i get a thrill out of it too

but then not really because like you said who gives a fuck, the starbucks barista whos gonna be "what a loser ill give her whole milk instead hahaahaaa"

ok

>>6883578
Maybe you just feel pretentious because your tastes as a an adult are different from the norms you were raised with.

I was raised in a family that almost never went out to eat, and mom cooked classic Anglo-German American cooking. To 18 year old me the idea of dropping what seemed like a large amount of money going out to eat fancy food seemed pretentious. Then I moved to the city and did relatively well for myself. By 28 dropping some dough on a nice meal and a bottle of wine didn't seem pretentious anymore - it was fun. Then I hit middle age, and the doctor wanted me to take pills for cholesterol. I didn't want to take them so I switched over to a mostly vegan diet. 28 year old me would have considered such a diet incredibly pretentious, but middle aged me sees it as a way to avoid taking unnecessary pills.

Whether or not something is pretentious really is a matter of the situation you find yourself in.

>>6883034
Beluga caviar

>>6883034
Look how pretentious my brother is being, eating crab in the theatre right in front of me. The nerve of some people

Being anywhere near Tampa Bay removes all pretentiousness.

>>6883036
And now the ship is BIG FILTHY MESS

pom frites

One word: Alinea

>>6883979
>hurr durr, it's considered one of the best restaurants in the country, but the food looks funny to me. it's gotta be pretentious!

>>6884084
It is pretentious. The whole fucking thing is a massive ego trip for the chef.
>hurrr let's break the food over the table and spread crazy sauces in crazy directions and scoff at anyone who asks why because they don't understand muh art
fuck off, fag. I didn't say the food isn't good, I said it's fucking pretentious as all hell

any food that smells vaguely of pig shit marketed as "rustic"

>>6884096
>The whole fucking thing is a massive ego trip for the chef.
That's just about any fine dining restaurant. Going to eat there could be an incredibly pretentious thing to do if you're not part of the target demographic - wealthy people who eat out for fun. But if you are part of that demographic it's not pretentious at all - the place is a fucking amusement park.

>>6884136

are they all too ugly to look at while eating?

>>6884136
Is this similar to the thing where some jews only have sex through a hole in the bedsheets?

>>6883511
When I smear my cum on the walls it isn't attractive.

There's no fucking reason to put this on food.

>Foams
>Advertising as "farm to table"
>When a menu says the ingredients without actually describing the dish
>Craft beer
>Bullshit plating
>Truffles
>Anything cooked by a man with a pomade or a beard

This kills the crab

>>6883356
I haven't been to the theatre in ages because of the no singles policy

pretentious just means youre not allowed to like what i cant have

if you could have it you would laugh at the plebs because they do not want to pay money for sekrit klub.

sigh, same shit. learn class structure already newbs

Any sort of "artistic" plating is fucking stupid. Food isn't art. It's organic material we shove in an orifice and later expel through our anuses. I don't care if I'm eating dreams and unicorn cum, if it's arranged in a fancy way I'm tossing it out.

"Thank you."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qofsdSMuGbg
$250+ for some jerk to smash chocolate balls on your table.

>>6885303
Fuck wrong video.
Here it is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwTNS0nioFg

>>6883072
I'd eat it.

Looks cool.

>>6885254
Nice bait

>>6885278
So you're being a pretentious shithead everytime you aren't drinking soylent?

>>6885278

>responding to a /tv/ shitopost at all
>responding with a blatantly anti food and cooking response

Where did you come from, and why are you even here?

>>6885318
see
>>6885303
and
>>6885310

I'm not pretentious because I want to eat food I actually know how to eat. If I'm eat a burger, I know where I'm gonna start. Just on the side of the burger. If I have a fucking Pollock painting in front of me, where do I start? It's fucking bullshit.

I still think Dan Barber is a pretentious faggot

>>6885126
I don't see how it's pretentious, it's just a way to pretty up food and doesn't cost anything. Most Indian sweets have silver films. It's not even seen as a luxurious thing. About the same as putting powdered sugar on desserts. If it's used in an unpretentious way it's just a food coloring of sorts.

That said chefs do use it in a pretentious way to charge and exhorbitant amount for a dessert. They add a few cents worth of gold to charge many dollars more for it.

>>6885329
You don't need to eat the burger the way it's presented, stop being a pretentious faggot and just eat the parts individually

>>6884220
>>6884249
They're eating Ortolan which is a French bird. The bird is force fed and then drowned in Armagnac (brandy) then the bird is roasted. It's considered so lavish and hedonistic that the eater would have to cover the head in a drape to hide from god or some bullshit. Also to preserve the smell. It's very fucking pretentious.

>>6883476

>>6885390
that sounds gay as fuck
like i would rather suck a dick than have to eat that shit and have to cover my head

>>6885261
>no singles policy
This is a thing?

>>6885735
Yeah. The ushers can get pretty nasty when they spot a single entering.

>>6885735
You're obviously a normie if you've never been turned away from a theatre because it's just you

This is mandatory for this type of thread

>>6885332
This would be a nice centrepiece but I would lose my shit if I paid money for this and it was presented to me as a meal.

>>6885278
What is art? Baby don't hurt me.

>>6885278
pleb

>>6885900
It's only pretentious if you're poor.

>>6885310
Say everybody...

>>6883072
I think that came out of my cat once

>>6885390
Don't forget they poke the birds eyes out so it eats more.

>>6885303
>>6885310
How the fuck are you supposed to eat that bullshit?

>>6883034
gastro cooking is pretty pretentious.

>>6886185
I think they poke their eyes so they don't fly around and fatten.
Ortolan is live-sashimi level of cruelty. (someone post the live frog sashimi gif plz)

>>6886185
>>6886230

apparently poking the eyes was something the ancient romans did.

the french merely cover the cage with a blanket to make the bird think its night, so it eats incessantly.

>>6885278
go back to your barrel diogenes

>>6883034

guy I know is always going on about crab legs, gonna have crab legs at my party, went to an all you eat crab leg thingie, ad nauseum

like they're sweeter than Pandora's box

expensive, big pain to eat

>>6883034

>Oysters Rockefeller

>>6885278
>if it's arranged in a fancy way I'm tossing it out.
That's a very fancy way to say "I can't afford it and am afraid of embarrassing myself in front of snooty waiters."

>>6885278
its not the presentation i have a problem with its the portions.

they are just designed to make you order more courses its a fucking rip off

>>6885761
And in what part of Alabama does this occur in?

>>6885900
But this is legit good stuff and doesn't need any fancy shit dress up.
Expensive =! pretentious .. unless you make it that way.

Why bake the shit twice?

>>6885953

what if it was presented as a course of a meal.

>>6885329

why do you need to know where to start?

>>6886477
>reheat the filling
>crispy skin
>cheese gratin
Why the fuck not

>>6883072
I can't be the only one seeing this

>>6884096
The customary way of eating ortolan, a delicate songbird, involves the diner covering his or her head with a large napkin. Tradition dictates that this is to shield – from God’s eyes – the shame of such a decadent and disgraceful act.

A single ortolan bird is no bigger than a baby’s fist and weighs less than an ounce, but they can be sold for as much as £100 to those willing to break the law.

They capture the bird, and feed it grain. Fastest way is to stab out the eyes, so the bird thinks it's night, and will keep eating.

They are then thrown alive into a vat of Armagnac, a trick that manages to both drown and marinade the animal at the same time. If I ever would kill myself, this is my preferred way to go.

The ortolan is popped in its entirety into the diner’s mouth, who then proceeds to eat everything including the head and bones.

Pretentious, sure. But absolutely fucking delicious!

>people don't make their own sandwiches from scratch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URvWSsAgtJE

>>6886542
Why not do it with any other bird. Or hey, why not chicks?

Why do people need to feel like their momentary pleasure is worth the destruction of a species. Lame asses will leave no birds for future people to drown in alcohol.

>>6886587
You're not going to eat something like this on a daily basis. If I eat one per year, the species should be fine.

Chicks or other birds don't do the trick. It's a completely different flavour. Only thing that comes close is a woodcock (still legal in Britain).

There is really nothing like eating an ortholan:
The experience is close to ecstasy. With every bite, as the thin bones and layers of fat, meat, skin and organs compact in on themselves, there are sublime dribbles of varied and wondrous ancient flavours: figs, Armagnac, dark flesh slightly infused with the salty taste of my own blood as my mouth is pricked by the sharp bones.

"Pretentious" food is just a synonym for "Food I'm mad that I can't afford." Calling food pretentious just outs you as a poverty-stricken, jealous, faggoty man-child.

>>6886612
There's real good pricey food i can't afford (well, certainly not if having it regularly) but pretentious food isn't all the time related to its price.

>Caviar, foie gras, oysters, escargots, kobe beef, ..
Pricey stuff (okay, depends), legit good, not pretentious (if served as is, obviously).
>Shark fin soup
One of the most pretentious shit of asian cuisine. Costs a lot, mostly illegal everywhere, takes a whole shark, end up with a bowl of bouillon with zero percent of it's taste coming from a shark (since it's not even good), actual fin is overboiled to remove all taste and has the consistency of jello.

So yeah, you're wrong.

>>6886667
Foie gras fucking sucks ass.

Everything else you posted it good tho.

>>6886674

it obviously in no way sucks ass.

>>6886674
Depends about foie gras.
My dad get his stuff from a very good place and even from there, i just can't stand cooked foie gras. It's good but too overwhelming and i would chose cold over cooked any time.
And some just don't like it, what a surprise.

>>6886188

>>6886667
>Shark fin soup
You may have found the one example of a food that's actually pretentious. The only purpose of this dish is showing off. Of course it comes from a culture where that kind of showing off is a way of honoring your guests, so it's a little different than the Western take on pretentiousness. By extension one could say almost every meal served at a wedding is pretentious, since most weddings involve putting on airs to at least some degree.

But mostly I see >>6886612 as being right. People who see specific foods as pretentious are generally so locked into the world view that matches their social class that they see any luxury food out of their easy reach as pretentious. Which is more a reflection on them than the food itself.

>>6886736
Yeah, but
>Pretentious food =! some people wrongly see expensive food as pretentious

But pretentious doesn't only concern food but how you approach it too. While some really do offer a difference, most of the time it's not even noticeable by your peers or you have to use less of "the stuff" because it's too overwhelming and it might ruin the dish.
>Using a mortar & pestle
>Roasting whole spices then blend them
>Anything organic and whatnot
>The fucking truffles

Also, it's often pretentious because you have to mention how it was done or else nobody gives a shit.

>>6885278
>>6885303
>>6885310
This shit is the only correct answer. Don't inject your "science" and "art" into my meal. I'll take crab legs any day of the week.
At least I can eat them and not worry about being messy instead of sitting at a table with a bunch of snobby faggots instagraming their meal.
>OMG LOOK AT THIS MEAL IT LOOKS SO COOOOOL!!!
>OMG IT COST ME SO MUCH MONEY BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO EAT IT LOL!!!

>>6883072
looks like a dead snowman who pushed his luck one too many times.

then that white shit on the left... dude wtf is that

>>6886604
>The experience is close to ecstasy
Hmm, sounds pretty awesome, maybe I'll try this o-
>mouth pricked by sharp bones
Fuck that shit, there's no flavor on Earth or Heaven that's worth dealing with bones while I'm eating. Shit drives me insane about pic related.

>>6886872
That fish looks delicious.

>>6886769
I agree pretentious does not mean expensive. It also does not mean showy, since for some people a little showiness is part of life, not a put on.

I think organic food and truffles are poor examples. To me the height of pretentiousness is eating commodity grade filet mignon at a "black tie requested" wedding where every tux in the room is a rental.

>>6886955
>To me the height of pretentiousness is eating commodity grade filet mignon at a "black tie requested" wedding where every tux in the room is a rental.
What a beautiful sentence.

>>6883034
How the fuck are crab legs pretentious? You eat crab legs by acting like a fucking caveman and literally tearing and/or smashing them apart to get at the meat; that's about the least pretentious thing I can think of.

>>6886769
>

>>6885310
lmao

I lost it at 2:17
> *SMASH*
>"... thank you."

The tone of the guy's voice suggests a lazy satisfaction in realizing that he just paid several hundreds of dollars for that.

>>6886955
>To me the height of pretentiousness is eating commodity grade filet mignon at a "black tie requested" wedding where every tux in the room is a rental.
Noice.
But about truffles & organic .. i don't think my examples are that bad.
Organic & plain store are just so fucking close to each other in terms of results in the end that you basically have to mention it's organic for people to give a fuck.
This is why it's pretentious : "you don't see a difference but there IS ! Now let me bust your balls about why you should care."

Truffles .. okay it's different. This is a food ignorant bait item and that's why i put it on the list. Put this word on a menu and idiots will gloat over what a privilege they had to get a taste of it. It's a pretentious asshole magnet.

This is an ingredient i've worked with a lot and this is why i don't like it much. It tastes nice and make a difference in a dish but people associate truffle price with it so fucking much they think they're eating a whole of these bastards every time they chew.
The reality ? You shave a bit of it just like you would do with a whole nutmeg and people start instagramming.

On a different level (of stupid), truffle oil.

>>6886300
>cooked oysters

>>6886983

On this board anything fancier than the dollar menu at McD's is pretentious.

>>6887198
Truffle oil tastes and smells like shit.

>>6887198
Organic can also be a philosophical stance people take because reasons. It can be a matter of the politics and ethics of food, which is legit even if it has nothing to do with flavor. If you have the money to vote with your dollars against the Monsanto based monoculture our agricultural system is based around I don't think that's pretentious. It might involve a degree of wishful thinking, but so do many things in life.
>Truffles
>It's a pretentious asshole magnet.
Same could be said about any luxury food. Or luxury goods in general. But that doesn't make them inherently pretentious. It just means a portion of the people consuming them are doing so in a pretentious way.

Is getting the $60 white truffle pizza seasonally offered at Marta pretentious? I'm sure for some it is. For others it could be seen as a relatively cheap thrill, as far as luxuries go.

>>6887286

Indeed. But he didn't say truffle oil. He said truffles.

>>6885761
>>6885762
This happens in most of the US? Why? I've never heard of this before because I'm not an American and this shit doesn't happen in my country.
I find this ridiculous.

>>6885310
>Comments removed
kek

>>6885310
Another

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qofsdSMuGbg
I can't stop watching these videos.

Help me.

>>6887651
You took the b8 m8.

>>6887801
Looks like they have some glasses of milk, a dirty table, and they then break some alien shit on it. All for at least $350 a person,

>>6883146
>>6883179
This, so much.
Food isn't and can't be pretentious, the people either making it, serving it, or eating are the pretentious ones. This shit is fucking ridiculous.....

>>6886872
Is that just a raw fish, presented with parsley, orange, lemon, chives, and sage?

How is this supposed to be orgasmic?

>>6887900

>>6888062
wow you're a fag tbh

>>6886872
Chinese people grow up learning to pick small bones out of fish.

>>6886300
>not putting cheese and bacon on oyster rock

>>6886297
Fuck you sir.

>>6885332
He is, but I do want to try that experimental squash he presents.

>>6888213
Nice reply, b&, isnt it past your bedtime?

>>6888213
He may be, but he's right.

>>6883111
:^)

>>6886983
King crab is pretty fuckin pretentious man. It's all about them blues and snows and lots of Old Bay.

>>6888233
>Chinese
>"people"