/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6860948
tfw anything you post is this..

>>6860948


Chicken parmigiana.

/ck/ makes macarons

>>6860948

More flan

>>6860948

Maybe we can blame this one on the lighting?

>>6860948

Eggs Benedict.

>>6860948

All the textures in this one are completely bizarre.

"World's Best Lasagna" lmao

>>6861018
oh my god. Seriously?

>>6860948

I wish this one had a bigger picture. This is actually the featured picture on this recipe. The dish is called a "Steak Mix-Up." kek

>>6861030
>>6861030
They look like toxic cat assholes

>>6861018

oh my god

>>6861040
>>6861047

That Eggs Benedict is probably the best one I'll find all night.

>>6861043

kek

>>6860948

This picture might be forgivable if it were beef stew, but this is supposed to be "Cauliflower and Tofu Masala."

>>6860948

This guy went to culinary school. You can tell by the drizzles.

Is anybody lurking, or am I only amusing myself here?

>>6861030
that's so gross. whoever made that has no fuckign clue what theyre doing

>>6860948
>>6861085

Meatloaf #2

>>6861061

it's still forgivable, it looks like very brown sabzi paneer

>>6861095

I'll take your word on it, you seem to know more than I do

>>6860948
>>6861085
>>6861094

Meatloaf #3

>>6861085
I'm here for u OP

keep posting those tragedies

>>6860957
That legit looks like snot on top

>>6861103

Alright, bro

/ck/ is a slow board after all

>>6860948
>>6861085
>>6861094
>>6861097

Holy shit why did I ever click on meatloaf

Please keep posting, OP, I'm lurking.

I usually don't care for bad food pics or wifey threads, but this has seriously left me distraught and disturbed. If you can find something better than >>6861018, you will truly be a god among men.

>>6861097
>>6861094
>>6861085
>>6861042
>>6861032
>>6861030
>>6861018
>>6861012
>>6860989
>>6860980
>>6860957
>>6860948
OP I love your filenames, honestly, I really do.

The eggs Benedict was the most disgusting though, IMO. How is the sauce so congealed? How?

>>6861124
I'm also adding here that it is on WHITE SLICED BREAD! The fuck is that all about? :/

>>6861124
>How is the sauce so congealed?
I'm willing to bet they scrambled their yolks in hot butter, instead of letting it cool a bit to emulsify it.

>>6861018
Scrambled eggs benedict tbh fam

>>6861124

>How is the sauce so congealed?

I don't understand it either, man. The cook was some good-looking Mexican guy. It also appears to have chicken (?) instead of ham/bacon.

>>6860948

"This is an icing that is great for Halloween because it looks like slime! It is also a great icing alternative for vegans."

>>6861137

That was supposed to be "guido-looking" and my autocorrect turned it into some kind of Freudian slip.

>>6861137

I should also mention that this is avocado icing.

>>6860948

There are apparently enchiladas under this

too much chocolate cake

>>6861018
triggered

>cinnamon buns

>>6861124
>How is the sauce so congealed?
I'm guessing they made the hollandaise on a stovetop and just overcooked it?

>>6861030
Is that guacamole and tuna in that sushi?

>>6861153
What in the, I say, what in the gay fuck am I lookin at

>>6861153
>>6861156

Holy shit those are great. Did she burn the cinnamon buns or dump nutella over them?

>>6860948
>>6861018

Eggs, in general, are apparently a gold mine. Here's "Easy Microwaved Poached Eggs."

>>6861159
Looks like it, and it looks like they didn't even cook the rice right either.

>>6861153
No, please oh god no. This is such a mess it doesn't even make sense

>>6861164
It looks to me like way too much butter/brown sugar on the cinnamon buns

>>6861164
holy fuck no.

>>6860948
>>6861018

WARNING: CHALLENGER APPROACHING

"Poached Eggs Caprese"

>>6861176
what is that stuff on top supposed to be?

>>6861176
nononono

>>6861178

i'm guessing some sort of balsamic dressing with chopped garlic.

Mmmmyyyeeeeah no.

>>6861178

Duh, it's "caprese." Learn to cook, bro.

>>6860948

This Eggs Benedict is a bit less terrible. The guy just doesn't seem to know what Eggs Benedict is.

new york cheesecake

>>6861178
since "Caprese", my guess would be some sort of pesto=ish basil puree that is very old or got way too hot or acidic.

>>6861188
also this picture was there

it's not a disaster like the rest of these, but

well

...does this image make anyone else incredibly uncomfortable? like in a visceral way?

>>6861187
yeah this ones fine

>>6861188

Euuughhh

>>6860948

This one is odd because it's supposedly a breakfast sandwich. I dunno.

>>6861192

hahaha

you can just imagine how frustrated the guy got trying to get it out of the mould so he just dumped it over and cried eureka

>>6861207

"Green Eggs and Ham Breakfast Sandwich."

>>6861188

>>6861221

this is the official picture for 'upside down caramel apple pie'

>>6861228

It looks like cockroaches trapped in a vat of jizz

>>6860948

Here's another one with uploader commentary.

"A middle step in the recipe: fried tortillas topped with refried beans, fried eggs, and cheese. Not yet placed under the broiler to melt the cheese. (Note that after later experimentation, I decided to use much more cheese than pictured in this photograph.)"

>>6861042
>what is this, vomit for ants.jpgg
best filename anon, lost

>>6861224

This one is fine. 7/10 would eat two slices

Grilled Delmonico Steak

chocolate covered cherries

>>6861253

Good find

>>6860948

Something about this one really bothers me and I can't tell what

filet mignon with balsamic glaze

>>6861256
hurr

>>6861265

This is apparently the same recipe, but it looks a thousand times worse

>>6861224

>Already looks great
>I know, I'll dump shit all over the top

But why?

>>6861214

Can anyone explain wtf this one is?

>>6861304
watergate salad maybe?

>>6860948

Alright, this is my last post.

>>6861018

I only hope that someone saved the picture of that horrifying Eggs Benedict.

>>6861240
>(Note that after later experimentation, I decided to use much more cheese than pictured in this photograph.)

HahahahaHAHAHAHA

Oh FUCK, that got me. What kind of fucking experimentation did he do, and how on Earth did it lead to the conclusion that he needed "much more cheese"? Was the amount of cheese in the photo not sufficient to immediately clog his arteries? I want to see some documentation of his thought process leading to this decision. I want to see a goddamn methods and materials report here.

>>6861373

he tried it and didn't think there was enough cheese, then he tried it again and added more cheese.

you guys are trying way too hard.

>>6861380
You're the one who made it, aren't you?

>>6861221
>>6861224
While overengineered, these two are perfectly fine and do not trigger my gag reflex by just looking at them like everything else here.
Also, most of these would look a lot better if these people could take a fucking picture properly, instead of having out of focus shit with weird lighting.

>>6861440
apparently i'm just a cheesecake snob.

>>6861250
I really hope that is not actually a steak.

>>6861129
I can't even imagine how you fuck up a loaf of bread this badly.

>>6861192
I'm okay with this one - but then again I like cake and hate frosting.

>>6861207
oh god what are those brown things? The rest could be edible just suffering from terrible lighting

>>6861250
noooooo

but those look like pork chops to me

>>6861211
I imagine "Fuck it!" instead of "Eureka!"

How the fuck do people violate flan like that? I had never even eaten it in my life, and decided to make it one night from some mexican lady's youtube video that had like 40 views. It came out fucking perfect, visually and texture wise

Oh wait it's women, who can't do anything right

>>6861634
>Oh wait it's women, who can't do anything right

the teenage is strong in this one

>>6861660
women can't cook anymore. good cooking is done by men

90% of the food gore you can find online was made by women

>>6861676
>mommy issues
Just because your mother is a shit cook, doesn't mean every woman is.

Supposed to be "grilled cheese". The lazy motherfucker didn't even bother to clean the grease off the plate for presentation.

>>6861676
>90% of the food gore you can find online was made by women
That only means that most men can't even cook in general, so there's no data.

>>6861684
my mom is 65 and a godly cook because she cooked for her brothers and sisters from the time she was 7 years old.

it's these new age uggs wearing neofeminist pumpkin spice bitches that can't cook.

>>6861689
Classic sous chef Julian.

>>6861707
>pitiful virgin detected

Your mother is the only woman who has ever cooked for you, so she is a shitty cook.

>>6861714
>all these /b/ style personal attacks

buuuuuuuurp

>>6861717
hello newfriend

>>6861253
I stared into the eggsbyss, and the eggsbyss stared back

>>6861253

>>6861164
great file name

>>6861188
at least this one could have turned out ok if they used a springform pan and a water bath

>>6861634
>>6861660
>>6861676
>>6861684
>>6861704
>>6861707
>>6861714
>>6861717
>>6861720
Quit ruining a perfectly good thread with whiny opinions and trying to out edgelord each other.

>this is why we can't have nice things

>>6861753
Thanks for adding to it, faggot.

>>6861689
That looks like pbj

Chef Julian fucking up again

>>6861253
What are these rested on?

>>6861926
looks like plastic easter grass

Great thread.

>>6861018
A lot of people can't make hollandaise sauce. This is why you can buy jars of it.

>>6861927
Yeah that's exactly what it is, I'd recognize that shit anywhere. Looks like an Easter Appetizer gone horribly wrong.

Baked Omelet Roll.
Searched this shit before I saw most of the horrendous egg dishes ITT.

not shitty, just saw this and had to bring attention to that iron chef level presentation

BBQ Chicken Quesadilla

should have used an iron

green pea salad

>>6862017
This is sad

User ripdime should probably have spent a little less time mourning the Pantera guitarist.

Bangers and Mash.
I guess it could be just a case of super shitty picture, but I wouldn't get too optimistic.

>>6862047

Oh yeah, this is Easy Ice Cream Cake.

>>6862054

FUCKING CHRIST NOW I FORGOT THE PICTURE

>>6861129

>lasagna

>>6863561

most of these are just poorly taken photographs of unimpressive but inoffensive food.

it bothers me how hard you guys try to be negative.

>>6863576
You're missing the point.
It's find the worst one on each recipe.

>>6863576
Failures are worth celebrating.
Without experimentation, there would be little learning and less failure. Without failure, experimentation would not yield many valuable lessons.
But yes, a lot of these aren't bad. People are just choosing the ugliest pictures they see per recipe, which is a part of why people tend not to put out much OC on /ck/. There's too many people who just see something that looks pretty and think it must be good food or something that looks ugly and think it's shitty food.

>>6861265
>dat filename

oh i am kekkin

>>6861176
Mozzarella, tomato, pesto and ... sour cream?

>>6863619
bitch do you read

fucking said "poached eggs"

>>6862026
Apart from looking like white people food it seems alright.

>>6862013
>balanced on and surrounded by random crap in my house

also op, good thread

>>6862021
are these.... cream cheese salad balls?

>>6861273
oh nooooo

Biscuits and Gravy, sausage 3.99 extra

Mfw this this thread is full of basement dwellers ragging on amatuer mom cooks when they just browse eatinging tendies made from their mom drenched in catsup while raiding in wow

>>6863727
bish plz i cook

>>6863727
>dat projecting
creepy

This is why I don't post my tasy food because insecure niggers wanna ridicule. Fuck you. My food has proper proportions and it is seasoned correctly. What kind of conceited fuck plates shit beautifully for themselves minutes before messing it up. Food is for eating not for arting you god damn faggots.

>>6863737
I mean if your food was good there wouldn't be anything for us to bitch about

>>6863733
Why are you still sitting in the dark

>>6863740

not true

>>6863737
Your insecurities are pretty gross...

Anyway, people post these pics for everyone to see on the recipe page, so they probably should be thinking about presentation.

>>6863737
Well, part of the process of showing food to other is making it look good.

If you don't want to plate it nicely for yourself that's fine, but if you slop it onto the plate and post online, of course we're going to mock you.

Wow, really insecure, do you rag on downs kids cause they lack? Big boys here lol, whatever makes up your shortcomings, post something better from your mom lol

chocolate bundt cake

chocolate bundt cake 2

>>6863766
I'd eat the top rung of one of the towers

>>6861265
hell yeah Baldur's gate

wow OP is a retarded cunt who's never seen flan.
There's literally nothing wrong with any flan in this thread.
Seriously this board is full of stupid idiots.

>>6863737

The point isn't "bad presentation." I started the thread to post shit that is flagrantly repulsive and incorrect, like

>>6860980
>>6861018
>>6861030
>>6861164
>>6861176

>>6863793
>stupid idiots
That's redundant, you blithering cunt.

>>6863806
So is your mom but i still rekt that pussy last night lmao

>>6863812
>last night
I don't see how, because she was pegging your dad at the time.

>>6863812
>he doesn't know what redundant means
stay in school

>>6863813
Golden raisins on the outside of anything ever NO.

THEY LOOK LIKE BOOGERS, THEY'RE DESIGNED TO BE HIDDEN.

>>6863793

I started with a flan picture because I was making flan the other day and saw these god-awful pictures on allrecipes.

Flan should be smooth, not curdled, and have a proper consistency on the caramel. You can't tell me with a straight face that the flan in this picture looks anything like the 2 hunks of shit I posted earlier.

>>6863740
This whole thread is about sorry plating. Not bad food. You don't know who you are or how you got here because you're a fuckhead.

>>6863746
>Anyway, people post these pics for everyone to see on the recipe page, so they probably should be thinking about presentation.

Sure. But making a thread looking for these examples is the real insecure-faggotry here. it's like everyone in here, with exceptions for the people who are against it or just lurking, are playing the last place olympics, desperately trying to justify themselves by saying "Look! Look! At least I'm not as bad as that guy. That's something right. That demonstrates WORTH RIGHT?!" It's suck and fucked up and anyone who says otherwise is a loser nigger.

>>6863773
I bet you would, faggot.

>>6863833
>Flan should be smooth, not curdled, and have a proper consistency on the caramel.
>caramel
wut? You put caramel on your flan? Not semen? tf.

>>6863806
No it isn't.

>>6863815
Mmm get it dad

>>6863902
Yes it is.

>>6863887
>dat projection
Take a nap before you start hyperventilating.

>chocolate cake

>simple birthday cake recipe

>>6861164
Thay fucking file name killed me

>>6863928
I really want to know what the fuck happened here.

Where did it all go so wrong.

>pizza

>>6861187
10/10 would eat hold the shitty sauce

>>6863912
NO it isn't.

>>6863650

"corned beef cheese ball"

>>6863915
You really don't see that I'm not like you. You're stupid unto death.

>>6861018
that is fucking rugged

>>6863945
Yes it is.

>>6863950
I know for a fact I'm not like you, because I don't have autism.

Please, go be triggered somewhere else.
Maybe your mom didn't arrange your sock drawer how you like it. Better go check.

>>6861018
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

>>6863930
If the rolling stones kept the cake from there album cover in a freezer till today and defrosted it

Fucking weebs

Fuck the food network on snap chat

>>6860948
I almost puked watching this thread, but you're doing God's work OP.

>>6863955
Nuh uh.

>>6862047
>>6862054
sorry not from allrecipes but I was suddenly reminded of this lovely ice cream cake i saw on fb

>>6863995
Yes

Nachos

>>6863998

>>6863977
What the FUCK

>>6864002
Yes.

Fuck Food network

>>6863997
Jesus Christ

>>6864007
Okay.

>>6863977
>light

>>6863977
>hot dog buns
>fucking HOT DOG BUNS
Jesus Christ why would you EVER?

>>6864062

why wouldn't you

>>6864096
Because a hot dog bun is to a Twinkie as a corn tortilla is to a waffle.

A piss-poor substitute.

>>6863977
I saw the thumbnail and thought, "this isn't so bad, it looks like a cannoli!" ... and then I read the caption. Nope.

>>6861188
How do you even fuck up so badly? The only excuse I can give is maybe they have an old/broken oven. Cheesecake is so easy to make.

>>6861221
>>6862017
>>6863769
>>6863813
Maybe it's just because everything else in the thread is completely unappealing, but these don't seem so bad. They aren't good pictures, but they're not awful either.

>>6861304
Radioactive waste?

>>6863813
golden raisins....I thought they were like...edible candy pebbles. holy shit.

>>6864227
>They aren't good pictures, but they're not awful either.
they're just the worst rendition of the recipe.
The pumpkin was supposed to be a chocolate bundt

>>6861043

>>6863928

>>6863561
>>6863566
Oh Lord that is just rancid

Yummy. "Tuna Noodle Casserole".

Some of these....some of them, you're just like "HOW?"...I mean you genuinely wonder how they fucked up SO BAD that it came out looking that way....and then you wonder why they'd be proud enough of it to post a pic. I just...I don't.....what?

>>6864812
That looks fine and nothing like any form of "rectal discharge". Try harder and fail less.

>>6863833
i like you, OP. You seem like a guy that knows what's up

>>6860948
That looks nothing like flan. Nore like creme caramel if anything

>>6863733
Looks tasty.

What's on it?

>>6861740

fuuucking kek, well referenced anon

>>6861018
>didn't even bother to toast the bread

>>6863833
I legit have a crush on you OP

>>6863737
I do. I am a conceited shit, admittedly, but because I am a conceited shit I can derive more pleasure from food than you do

I actually plate most of my meals beautifully and I actually take those five heavenly seconds to smugly contemplate my work before digging in :^)

You guys are all saints, especially OP, currently on holiday sharing a room and trying to contain my laughs at 3 in the morning, great thread, haven't kekked this hard in a long time

>eggs benedict
definitely saved for future threads

>>6861281
Is that fucking moving?!

look at it and slowly move your eyes left an right and you'd swear something underneath is trying to escape

>>6861273

Jesus CHRIST

>>6865364
That is why you are lonely. Because you're a fart sniffing pride monkey. You're strifeful and no one likes your way.

>>6863928
Wh....what....how?
This thread is amazing, though. Seriously.

>>6860948
Is that website getting so desperate that they need the likes of you shill it here on 4c?

>>6861749

No - it's waaaaay overcooked.

>>6863928

They didn't properly grease their pan. Or, they didn't let the cake set up before trying to remove.

Beef (allegedly) Wellington

I don't know how you fuck up kugel but here it is.

>>6861097
If that was a tuna mornay I'd eat it.

>>6865659
looks good to me, I see no difference

>>6863737
literally noone takes this board seriously

if you want to post and discuss your food go to reddit

>>6865363
Same

Marinated Grilled Shrimp

>Turkey cheeseburger meatloaf

>>6864001
Could be. Could be there are some nachos under there.

>>6865782
Another turkey cheeseburger meatloaf

>>6865789
You know what, I'd eat the fuck out of this,

>Stuffed peppers

>>6865792
>Spooky stuffed peppers

>>6865789

if you haven't had enough yet, there's two tumblrs about this kind of photos, one is in german though

http://someoneatethis.tumblr.com/
http://amateurkochfotos.tumblr.com/

>>6865826
>http://amateurkochfotos.tumblr.com/
i think amateur cock photos is something different

>>6865826
kek

>>6862017
The rice looks nice, what's it called?

>>6861265
At first I thought that was a pizza with eggs. Then I thought, why would anyone have pizza in a bowl? And then it dawned on me

I think a problem with some of these is that casseroles and lasagnas and baked dish sort of items normally don't look very good coming out. But some of these are just fucking inexcusable.

>>6864733
underrated post

>Chicken is dipped in beaten egg and cracker crumbs before being baked in butter
>Like the whole tub of butter
>Yeah, just the whole thing, like a pint of it
>Don't ask questions, you filth
>Drink the butter, fatty

>Garlic cheddar chicken

>>6865832
oops

>>6861253
the accusing eyes of beings denied life.

>>6865832
You're a funny guy. I'll kill you last.

>>6865823
Turkey meatloaf à la despair

bump

>>6865838
just medium grain cooked in bean water you mong

>>6865667
you're not the boss of me. And that's a rock fact.

>>6865823
Is that George Costanza?

>>6865891
a-are you lying to me?

>>6862426
Quaaaaaaaid

>>6863733
Is that a lobster roll on a wonder bun, with mustard?

Still would eat, I'm somewhat of a masochist, but still. Goddamn.

>>6864733
my poor sides.

does not really fit into this thread but anyway.

>>6863737
Agreed.

I call it rhubarb crisp theory. Even something like rhubarb crisp, dished in a bowl, looks like vomit with chunks of organs in it. Kinda shit you'd see the first wave of zombies hurling up onto before they turn you into blood stained shit piles.
But holy hot hells does it ever taste good. Bust that out in elementary school lunch, and at first, people react like you're the kid with the canned oysters, or egg salad sandwiches made from over done eggs (see: fart sandwiches to an elementary student). But if they get a sniff, or even a taste... Those fuckers are like swamp leeches the rest of the year, sucking the life giving rhubarb crisp outta you at every chance. It's why I learned to negotiate when I was in grade 2, and why I often had lunch to spare after a few trades.

My mom didn't do too many dishes worthy of note, but she fucking nailed that one. Learned at 7: Can look like vomit, but be beautiful inside.

>>6864812
That's what real cheese looks like when it melts..

>>6863887
It's just a rekt thread for cooking. Everybody turns to look at a train wreck as you pass by. It's fun, and not a penis measuring contest. Maoskis (sp?) didn't get views and notoriety because he was cooking, it's because he was a food train wreck.

Relax man. They're not trying to be dicks, the pics were posted to see, and they are just letting them be seen here. I can cook ok nowadays, but 20 or so years ago, my cooking was no better than a lot of these here. Before solid internet connection, half the time you tried something new, you didn't know how much it sucked visually. As long as it tasted good.

Just be glad it hasn't degraded to a well done steak and ketchup thread.

Also OP, good thread.

>>6868111
Checked
>What is browning
>What is using too much of the wrong kind of cheese and turning your dish into an oily mess

>>6865863
Meh, i'd eat it

>>6863887

You're kinda pathetic.

Threadly reminder that defending this ugly, shit food only outs you as an insecure faggot who can't cook or plate.

>>6861156
I as a cinnamon bun let me tell you that is not cinnamon bun that is cinnaomn bun excrement.

And its considered utterly disgusting to post it in a food thread.

>>6861156
WHERE IS THE CINNAMONS WHERE ARE THE BUNS?

>>6861189
SORRY..Pesto has nothing to do with Capri..
the pesto is from northern italy.. Capri is in the south..the main thing to make something ''alla caprese'' basil olive oild mozzarella and tomatoes.. thats it..

>>6862026
That looks like something my cat would throw up on the rug.

>>6863566
Can't decide if lasagna or mac & cheese.

>>6864008
What the?

No. NO. This is NOT OKAY.

>>6864915
>That looks fine

Are you being fucking serious right now?

>>6861250
>>6861137
filenames ahhh
love u op

>>6862026
This looks pretty appealing..

>>6861110
/tg/ here
this seems alright, I don't see any problem

>>6865863
Heart attack on a plate..look at the amount of oil .. damn

>>6870011
pesto, pistou, caprese
It's easy loosing track

>>6865659
that cilantro leaf tho.. ahaha

>>6870078
you made me kek

>>6870091
why that?

>>6863793
>Defending shit cooking in a cooking board
>wow
>brazen overstatements like "...who's never seen flan"
>literally
>Seriously this board is waah wahh waah

Feel free to leave whenever

>>6861207
>breakfast at my mother in law's

>>6860957
I'd beat the shit out of that right now.

>>6861030
What is that fucking canned tuna and guacamole?

>>6861042
there's been a mix up alright

>>6861110
>>6861097
why would they take a picture of it?

>>6865666
fuck thats a sexy beef wellington

>>6869901
No. You are.

>>6865409
It's like Jupiter.