/ck/ - Food & Cooking

in the meme time, here's some pizza I made with my whore of a girlfriend.

kind of deep. pecorino romano, parmesan, and of course mozzarella.

heres another pizza that came out better. more ny style. really fucking good.

if anyone lived in NJ, Union County area, check out Italian Village in Plainfield.

literally some of the best pizza I've ever had in my life. inexpensive and amazing

>>6830149
you can hide your face but not your mexicanity friend

>>6830152
is it the bit of beard sticking out or my shit skin?
good call, tho.
Puerto rican/Italian.

got a recipe, fuccboi?

>>6830149
>the rest of ya'll know when i durn to yah

>>6830161
>is actually ilerminarty han sine
>shh

>>6830152
what you can't see is I was making naked pizza and actually put that shirt on and my faggy lil'cap so we could take the picture

>>6830141
>no grains. just meat and vegetables
>i'm Puerto rican/Italian.

you are embarrassment to your ancestors. pastelon, there about a zillion recipes for sofrito and pork/chicken variations, asopao, etc. you probably even have a grandma and mom with a wonderful stash of recipes and knowledge that's just waiting to be learned.

>>6830180
>grandma dead
used to make take yellow rice, black rice(beans) and them fucked up little sausages. and pbnj. was kind of a poor fag
> mom is the Italian.
she cooks well but it's all pasta basically or chicken cutlets which means breaded chicken.
can't think of ever being served Hispanic chicken. I love chorizo and shit but it's drenched in oil and I'm eating clean rn.


go ahead and teach me the spic way, man

>>6830141
Here a tip, nearly every single chicken dish is better when you use chicken thighs instead of chicken breast. Chicken breast only works better in a small number of dishes

>>6830141
You guys either are useless or are buying shit quality chicken.
Probably both.

>>6830201
yeah but titties are leaner. if you haven't been following the only reason im not eating fucking pizza every meal is because I'm cutting.

the titties are leaner no shit thigh tastes better. this is about makeup on an ugly bitch I'm not choosing who I fuck but I can paint there face

NOW DOES ANYONE WANT TO ACTUALLY GIVE A RECIPE?
no? ok.

>>6830210
> saying you guys even though I'm one fucking person
> not giving a fucking recipe despite your superior cooking cock

>>6830141
Is odd future still a thing?

>>6830221
not really. the kind of branched away from each other but still all make music minus their trendy fan base.

say, friendo, do you have any clean chicken recipes by chance?

>>6830216
Only stupid fat children eat chicken breasts, fatty

>>6830230

This is demonstrably false.

>>6830230

>>6830234
dat super fucking specific file name.
hey btw pal, got any chicken recipes?

jesus crust people.
how bout we start here:

grill, oven or pan?

>>6830246
>grill, oven or pan?
Pan

>>6830280
oshit son were gettin somewhere.

look if I dredge (I think that's the word) the cutlet in egg wash, then dip in it bread crumbs I'd have breaded chicken.

what if I omit the bread crumbs?

>>6830243
>second hand doesn't match the minute and hour hands
this is how I know it's fake

you're not really a navy seal are you buddy

>>6830332
im sorry about your autism but please keep it to yourself. it's embarrassing to be around

>>6830344
>posts obviously fake photoshopped threats
>gets called out
>lol autism! no u!
this is really pathetic. I'm starting to question whether you're even old enough to be allowed on 4chan.

>>6830149
the fuck happened to your hand?

>>6830362
you thought that was a threat you stupid piece of shit? that's like the oldest copy pasta ever you fucking moron choke on your own vomit

>>6830506
>backtracking this hard
I wasn't going to call the police, calm down. like I said, it was obvious you were full of shit from the beginning. internet tough guy :)

>>6830454
this happened. fell off my board. bled like a pig and should've gotten stitches. didn't. was with some people far away from medical supplies. proceeded to pour vodka on it to disinfect. wrap with shirt.
fast forward to my hangover the next day. wow that shit hurts. swollen. ow. definitely infected.
get anti biotics. drink through script, surprised they worked. hand is healed now with a pretty scar, gonna get back to boxing soon.

>>6830506
Please stop being cringey and google. No one will help you on this board.

>>6830514
holy shit you're actually a retard, wow.
what are you with that fucking smiley face? does your husband not want to fuck you anymore is that why you're over here being a retard?
https://youtu.be/dna792reuvI
there's "proof" your "threat" is a "meme"

menopausal motherfucker

>>6830525
wtf is cringey about going to a fucking cooking board and asking for a fucking recipe? wtf do you post on this board? how much you love McDonalds? or how burger king is actually better? seriously what do you contribute?

>>6830526
it's ok, you're not going to get "vanned" little buddy. it was clear from the start what you were up to. I don't get worked up over threats from children, least of all meme spouting children from 4chan.

>>6830530
Damn you got me all figured out, buddy. The sassiest of sass, you really taught me a lesson I won't soon forget about contributing on a fucking cooking board! I'll just be walking away with my tail tucked between my legs!

Dude, I'm telling you, you're being cringey picking fights and generally being a little faggot with every post you make, and it's not helping your cause.

You're better off using google or just not sperging out on everyone that posts in your thread.

>>6830537
>vanned
> implying ill ever return to this cancerous cesspool of fast food and fat empty-nest mothers

>from 4chan
> coming from the whore on 4chan

go make another casserole sit back with oprahs book of the month and get a bottle of cheap do you can reminisce on the olden days when your pussy wasn't dusty and women weren't allowed to wear pants. heffer.

>>6830549
>tries to "epic trole" the cooking board
>ends up getting anally destroyed
this is why kids should stay on /b/ :)

>>6830549
> not making your casseroles with oprah's book of the month

What the cuck is wrong with you bro?

>>6830548
Someone called me fatty because I want to eat chicken and I responded with the shitty picture of the oldest copypasta known to this mental institution.
they actually called it a threat.
what do you expect from this fucking place? an exchange of recipes or anything about cooking? no. fuck no not here.
get off your high mule you're on 4chan too, aspie.

>>6830555
> post about cooKing on cooking board
wow look at this faggot memester child I bet he hasn't even had a cesarean section and retired to a sad life of what-could-have-beens and missed chances!

no, ma'am. you got me. I've been rused by an ancient lass such as yourself.
gg hag. 10/10

>>6830560
Well of course, it is literally a bunch of retards posting McDonald's on this board. But you're still sperging out and not doing yourself a favor at all. No one will help you on this board at this point, go google it.

Maybe this

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rachael-ray/spinach-and-mushroom-stuffed-chicken-breasts-recipe.html

>>6830560
> someone called me a fatty because-

confirmed for triggered

>>6830573
holy fucking shit a god amongst retards. thank you. that actually looks awesome and Rachel ray has the face of an angel

>>6830317

You'll have eggy chicken.

>>6830587
Are you sure you can handle the big boy veggies in it? It DOES have spinach after all.

>>6830571
you're saying I can Google "chicken recipe" and get results? wow.
I just wanted someone to say hey person, I've personally tried this and enjoyed it. here's how I did it. now you can try it and maybe you'll like it.

is that not what this board is for? I would've had a better shot going to fucking /mlp/ and getting a recipe but Itd probably include jizz and pony hair.

>>6830580
yeah trigger haw muh rolls muh fat haha hahahajahsha "le triggerd" hae hae hswawahahahaha
> call someone a meme fag
> continue to spout memes

HEY OP I REALLY LIKE BAKING BUTTERFLIED CHICKEN BREASTS WITH ARTICHOKE ANTIPASTO AND TOMATOES ON TOP

TRY BROILING AT THE END UNTIL THE TOMATO AND ANTIPASTO STARTS TO BROWN

>>6830597
I fucking love spinach bitch.
you're good. I like you. I feel like all the years without cock has pent up so much horny rage that your labido is just boiling over. I'll come fuck you I like old ass I wanna hear your hips creak while I slam you. I can be gentle but I know your type you want me to spank you don't you?

you're my little slut

>>6830599
I'm not the same guy that called you a meme fag, I just wanted to see your thread go down in flames after someone tugged at your artery clogged heartstrings lel

I'll still call you a fag tho

here's an idea:

eat an apple sir

>>6830589
that's disappointing. is there some kinda other "batter" sort of thing I can do without the bread crumbs? kinda being a paleo fag cuz I gotta make weight soon. feels bad man

>>6830612
>tfw fit as fuck but basically need to dehydrate to meet boxing weight
>tfw fat jokes have no effect

>>6830605
HEY ARE YOU A TRUMPET CAUSE YOU'RE GETTING ME ALL HORNY AND STUFF

>>6830618
i want all /fit/ fags to leave. this is a board for mcdonalds and burger king shills

>>6830604
HEY MAN THAT SOUNDS SICK I FUCKING LOVE ARTICHOKE I'M GLAD WE SHARE THAT.

WHEN YOU COOK AN ENTIRE ARTICHOKE DO YOU EAT THE LEAVES OR JUST SCRAPE THEM WITH YOUR TEETH

HOLY SHIT I HAVEN'T HAD ARTICHOKE IN SO LONG NOW I NEED SOME THANKS MAN

>>6830619
DOOT DOOT
THANK FOR CALCIUM

>>6830618
You tell him! YOU GO GLEN COCO.

>>6830629
NO I JUST DRAG MY BALLS ACROSS THE LEAVES UNTIL THOROUGHLY WARMED

YOU'RE WELCOME OP

>>6830628
> be atleast 800 pounds
> go to a board about food because when you're not swallowing it you're typing about it
> see someone eating food that isn't cancer injected
>incomprehensible rage
> start sweating even harder than you already are
> literally a pool of sweat
> reach under your titty rolls to retrieve "muh big mac"
> the world is once again a safe place.

>>6830639
lmfao watched that bullshit movie with my grilfren. was actually decent and the redhead is purty

>>6830648
OH FUNNY YOU MENTION TESTICLES I USUALLY GET SOME NICE PROSTATE STIMULATION GOING WITH A CARROT THEN GENTLY SQUEEZE MINE NUTS UNTIL I GET A LITTLE PRECUM AND USE THAT AS MY OIL BASE FOR FRYING

IT'S JUST A QUICK TIP I PICKED UP

>>6830651
you're triggering me. i'm telling /fit/ on you

>>6830613

Try a cauliflower batter. Mush cauliflower in hot water until it resembles batter and mush your chickens in it.

>>6830667
But anon, cauliflower smells like ass. Is there anything else I can try?

>>6830651
> being this mad

>>6830672

I dunno. You can eat my ass though. Or you can brine your chicken for maximum moisture and then sear the hell out of it so it gets crispy on it's own.

>>6830666
atleast be fat right you fucking pleb.
see: guy fiery, a national hero. or action bronson.
if you're going to be a fat shit you better be eating something fucking quality because sticking that fast food tardmeal in your mouth and thinking it's good is a lie.
it's a toothy moustached blowjob through a glory hole. fuck that. be a respectable fat fucking lard and dine with the equivalent of a trophy wife

obviously these are all analogies because fat people can only fuck fatter people so you're hopeless

>>6830216
I got your recipe right here, esse
one chicken breast
2 carrots
1 small potato
1 parsley root
1 celery root
2 big onions
1 bell pepper, large
half a clove of garlic
4 eggs
500 grams of sour cream
3 liters chicken stock
100 grams flour
apple cider vinegar
salt

finely chop the celery, carrot, onions and parsley root, sautee them in the bottom of your pot with some olive oil
add the breast, whole
pour in chicken stock
boil, occasionally discarding the foam, until breast is done (shouldn't take long at all)
extract the breast
reduce the heat to a very low simmer
in a big bowl, mix four egg yolks with the flour, and half the cream, then start adding spoonfuls of soup
when you have like half the soup left to add,
pull the chicken breast apart into thin long strips and dump them in too, with crushed garlic, parsley leaves, four spoonfuls of vinegar and the rest of the soup
serve with cream and garlic bread

>>6830684
oh shit
I forgot, but you need to discard the mirepoix and possibly pass your soup through a chinois before the egg yolk phase

>>6830667
I have had really bad experience with trying to play god and change cauliflower. only thing that came out really good was the "mashed potatoes"

btw what the fuck are capers amirite?
shits are good as fuck but idk what they are.

fish eggs? little lizard eyes? tiny pickled kidney stones? fuckin love em

>>6830683
anon, please, you're hurting my feelings. in a society that demands perfection, all I can be is me

>>6830691
I see. is there a name for this I wanna see a picture before I go and fuck it up

>>6830681
I'll take the ass for $20, please.

>>6830681
brine in like a lemony wash? or some shit?
wouldn't marinading and slow cooking get the most moisture? I have a crockpot but not the patience.

made some crazy pulled pork in that mother fuck tho.

>>6830702
Yeah sure, it's called "I need my fucking hand held for everything I do"

Go forth and be a man.

>>6830702
ciorba radauteana

>>6830708
Stop using crockpots. Only plebs use crockpots

>>6830698
before anyone loves you, you have to love yourself.
but you bring you isn't fat.
you being the best you is someone who can stare at themselves naked and pop a boner. love yourself anon because ure the only one goin in the box

>>6830722
Seriously? wtf kinda foreign-ass name is that? Definitely will be checking it out

Thanks fam

>>6830712
shut up nig nog we are strongest as a unit I go nowhere without my brethren

>>6830725
would you still love me even if I told on you

>>6830722
not gonna lie that shit looks real good. ty anon you have my heart

>>6830727
Romanian
it means "sour soup Radauti style"
ciorba is of course a Turkish word actually
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chorba

>>6830734
told on me to whom? and about what?

but either way the answer is yes. my love is unconditional

>>6830736
seems like there's a lot of discrepancy in preference in the sour to soup ratio

>>6830735
de nada
oh, given you're mexican, you would probably also like to chew into a pickled hot pepper while you eat it. we do.

>>6830745
there's a continuum and Romania is on the sour end of it, pretty much
we sour most our soups with lacto-fermented bran
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bor%C8%99_%28bran%29
but unripe Myrobalan fruit, unripe plums, vinegar and/or sour cream can also be used

>>6830747
man I fuckin love jalapenos but between the abundance of alcohol I take in and all the spicy shit my stomach is fucked.
don't care.still do both and suffer for it

>>6830762
I love how different cultures/ethnicities have different preferences

is it genetic? if you feed a Chinese kid MeXican food since birth will they still have a predisposition for dog...or wanton soup n shit?

>>6830775
Dog. Def love my dog-flavored chips.

>>6830775
I dunno, don't think so. I've met some JapMericans who were exclusively into burgers and fries, while Chinese immigrant kids here will happily eat local fare

>>6830775
yeah, all asians love dog

what kind of uncultured shit are you?

>>6830783
all
their packaged shit is crazy. I want to try it so bad

>>6830786
I want to travel the world and eat crazy shit.
go to every country and conquer their pinnacle of cuisine. only Japanese food I've ever had is sushi and I love the fuck out of it.

I want to do that live squid initiation challenge they do. it's some Asian country but in ignorant so idk

>>6830790
yeah bro everything I say is completely serious.for sure

>>6830798
Maybe all that swag can get you out there.

You can dream, anon! Fly!

>>6830801
Oh, good. I'm glad someone can admit they understand dog is common fare.

Have you tried it fried?

>>6830804
all my satirical swag. all the bitties I get with my pizza hat and hardcore shaka will lift me across the globe as I please.
the power of shit irony

>>6830809
no but I would. I see no problem in it. it's a statement about life being worthless.
eating dog is so metal.
I want to try basically every animal and insect.
so far the only exotic things I've had are alligator jerky, and sea urchin and squid sashimi

>>6830819
I've had chocolate covered grasshoppers. Not bad, actually.

>>6830819

>>6830823
I want to try them so fucking bad.
at a petco by me they have like this fucked up selection of baked cookies for your dogs to eat.
so I ate some.
really fucking good.

I like going to the Asian food market and browsing the aisles for an hour before picking something I'm completely unsure of. last time I got this bag of what looked like little bags of dusty shit.
turned out to be little chewy coffee candy. really good actually

>>6830827
whoa mr.money bags did your golden butler just pass you that?
fucking richer

>>6830832
You ate dog treats, huh?

>>6830839
I didn't just eat them I thoroughly enjoyed them then forced then unto a loved one

>>6830832
And here we come to the root of the problem. This is why you're fat, you fucking retard. You fucking go around eating dog treats and then sperg on /ck/ for recipes cause your slim-fast couldn't cut it.

Go back to /fit/

>>6830847
> cutting is going great
> take my beautiful Nubian goddess of a dog to petco for a new toy
> bitches love toys
>see weird buffet style kiosk in the middle of store
>dafuq.png
> check it out
> holy shit. fucking gourmet dog food
> begin to sweat
> look around, coast is clear
> dive into dog food buffet.
> literally gorging myself on imitation oreos
> my dog is watching, wimpering
> what has her master become?
> sweet puppy Jesus it's better than the real thing
> instantly gain 420 pounds
> blaze it
> snap dogs neck so no witnesses
> roll home and post about it
no ragrets.