/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6817978
>Mine is when people try to be too pretentious with it and tell me I am eating something wrong or using an ingredient wrong.
How do you live browsing this board?

You sound like a fucking cuck, OP. Grow some balls or I will gouge out your eyes and skull fuck you.

i bet he said something like 'you don't have to reduce actual balsamic because it's syrupy on its own' and you sperged out about it because your feelings were hurt.

your wife's male friend is openly belittling you in front of her?

you're on you're way to cuckdom, if you're not there already.

>>6817992
In what way am I a cuck? I called the fag out on it and even got into a bit of an argument after dinner. I just didn't include that because it's not relevant to the thread. I'm not doing a >greentext
thread I'm just asking what people's pet peeves are

Using spoon for twirling spaghetti is an American invention if I recall, they did that in Japan for a while until it got widespread that it's not actually an italian custom.

>>6818000
again, see
>>6818004
I called the fag out on it and later got into an argument with him after dinner, after which he left. I just didn't feel like posting the whole story in the OP
>>6817999
He said exactly what I quoted in my OP. I remember because he fucking used the word "barbaric" to refer to my cooking

>>6817978
Chewing with their mouth open. That sound drives me nuts.

>>6818020
This is such a polarizing thing for people. In polite company I see it as taboo, but the sound has never bothered me. I find it actually sort of relaxing, as do many people. Some people are driven crazy by it. Other people regularly watch eating/mouth sounds videos on youtube.

>>6818015

i don't believe you OP. it sounds like something someone would write in a story to telegraph that the character is unsympathetic.

>>6818020
i know people who dont like this, and i do it on purpose around them just to piss them off, lel.

>>6817978
>please greentext the story and argument!!!

I WANT ENTERTAINMENT MEOW

Also I am siding with you on this one, what a giant fag lord... holy god

>>6818041
Do it around me and you'll be eating a knuckle sandwich, friend.

>>6817978
True balsamic is too good for cooking. 99% of the balsamic you buy in the US is not true balsamic which has been aged in wood barrels with a solera system for at least 12 years.

>>6818020


This, or even when they seem to be 'sucking' on the food in their mouth when they chew. Holy shit it triggers my autism so hard. Such a fucking nasty sound.

>>6818041

I visit my father often except when I'm invited to dinner. He chews with his mouth open and makes so much noise, you'd think he was in a competition. I haven't dined with him in twenty years or more. When he chews gum it's even worse. Sometimes I wonder if his neighbors complain. I'd rather eat next to a running chainsaw.

>>6818101
I'm convinced some people have an extra amplifying chamber in their heads or something. I know someone who sounds like an asthmatic shovelling jello through a wood chipper.

OP you sound like a fag. I use shitty balsamic for cooking but a truly good balsamic shouldn't be used for that. I have a 15 year aged balsamic that I use in tiny quantities for cheese and bread for nice occasions. I'm sure that you are just trying to come off better than your company by changing what they say and post it on the internet, expecting everyone to rally behind you to make you feel better

>>6818142
And in what part of my post did I specify which kind of balsamic I used? I have a bottle of 20 year aged balsamic that I use with cheeses, ice cream, etc. The thing is I wasn't fuckin using that for cooking. I was still using true balsamic but it wasn't anywhere near as nice as my good stuff. So shut your fucking mouth cocksmoker, you sound just like my wife's faggy friend

>>6818196
>And in what part of my post did I specify which kind of balsamic I used? I

It was inferred. In other words:
-you were reducing balsamic
-nobody in their right mind would reduce the good stuff, therefore you must be reducing the cheap stuff
-that's the point: insulting you for using the cheap stuff.

>>6817978
Balsamic vinegar is just some trendy fag shit anyways.

Anyways since a couple people asked for the greentext story I will post it although I don't think it's particularly interesting.
>Wife is having a few friends over for dinner
>Included is her very cute blonde friend and the aforementioned faggot who has been stuck in the friend zone and trying to fuck the blonde (and before her, my wife, kek) ever since high school
>My wife tells them what a good cook I am, so I make dinner
>decide to make some pork over a bed of some pasta
>the balsamic I used is traditional balsamic but it's not exactly good, I save my 20 year aged balsamic for other shit
>As I'm cooking the fag (who has been going through my cabinets commenting on all of my ingredients) makes said remarks about how I was using the balsamic
>"There's literally nothing wrong with using cheaper balsamic for cooking. You aren't the emperor of Modena or something"
>fag sounds insulted and proceeds to ramble something about how people in America should have to visit foreign countries and see how they cook before they "ruin" their cuisine (???)
>I don't really get any more involved because I'm not trying to cause a scene in front of 4 guests
>During dinner, makes the remark about how I eat pasta
>"I'll eat the food I made how I like to, thank you"

the "fight" ensued after dinner when I was making some drinks for everybody
>I've got quite an extensive home bar, I've made cocktails for everybody and we're relaxing and having fun conversation
>my wife and the blonde are visibly embarrassed by fag's behavior
>I ask him what he wants to drink
>says he wants a sidecar
>I'm not a big brandy drinker so the only brandy I have on hand is Hennesy
>begin making the drink how I like to make it
>he starts criticizing everything about it
>first he scoffs at my choice of Hennesy, claiming that I only buy into rapper advertising and that I've probably never had really good brandy
(1/2)

>>6818203
And in the case of cooking, you lose all of the subtle nuances of the good shit anyways so why on earth would you want to use really expensive balsamic?

Anyways, greentext story continued:
>I say to him "Listen here asshole if you don't like my liquor or the way I make my cocktails, don't drink them, and get the hell out of my house
>face gets red and he gets all huffy and puffy
>my wife is trying to calm me down
>finally he pipes in "Well you know maybe if you did anything other than drinking this swill (holds up a bottle of my Bulleit bourbon, kek) you would know how to make a decent drink!"
At this point I grabbed his shirt and was about to deck the guy but my wife calmed me down and the blonde friend of hers talked to the guy and told him to leave because he was being an asshole so he left. The end. Like I said, really not that interesting, just a typical shitty dinner guest

>>6818227
>so why on earth would you want to use really expensive balsamic?

You wouldn't, of course. You don't need to cook it down since the good stuff is already very thick. That's the point.

>>6818232
I don't get what you're trying to prove here. I use my good stuff when I want to put it sparingly over things like cheeses, breads, ice creams, etc. I use cheaper stuff to reduce down and put over dinner because when I'm cooking for 8 people it would get very expensive to use all my damn 20 year old balsamic.

So if you're saying the fag was right, I assure you he wasn't. I wouldn't say I'm too poor to afford good ingredients but I'm not inclined to blow that kind of money just for one dinner service. The fag was just being pretentious because he wasn't the one that had to pay for all the shit to make dinner

>>6818242

how do you not get this - you didn't want to use the expensive stuff, you chose to reduce down the cheap stuff, and the guy chewed you out for reducing down the cheap stuff instead of using the expensive stuff. it's obvious. what are you fucking arguing about.

>>6818242
>I don't get what you're trying to prove here

I'm not trying to prove anything. I don't have anything against what you did.

I was simply explaining the logic behind this person's insult since in >>6818196 you seemed confused and didn't understand why that was said.

I'm not saying the fag was right. I was explaining his logic since you didn't seem to get it.

>>6818036
>Other people regularly watch eating/mouth sounds videos on youtube.
As with most things - if its a cute girl doing it then its enjoyable

>>6818246
I understand that, it just seemed to me like you were scolding me for not using really expensive shit instead of reducing cheaper stuff. When you reduce it you lose a lot of flavor anyways so I wasn't going to waste that much money

>>6818273

We weren't scolding you for that. Or at least I wasn't.

"The Fag" was though.

>>6818273

>When you reduce it you lose a lot of flavor anyways so I wasn't going to waste that much money

again showing you don't understand what we are saying to you. you wouldn't have to reduce the expensive stuff, so you wouldn't use the flavour. this isn't a case of you being faced with having to reduce a balsamic vinegar and picking the balsamic on that basis. you reduced the cheap balsamic vinegar to get it to a state that the expensive balsamic vinegar was already in.

>>6817978
Tryhards describing food
i.e: fish with lemon
>DEH LEMON BRINGS A GREAT SOUR TONE TO DEH DISH
Ya don't say

>watching people who do not know how to fucking use knife and fork

I noticed it a lot when I lived in the US. Like instead of holding knife and fork, most people (especially college kids) constantly kept switching. Like they'd hold the fork in a contorted way in their left to fixate the food while cutting, then put away both utensils, picking up the fork with their other hand and take a bite. Then, again, the strange way of holding the fork between index, middle and ring finger. And this happened after every fucking bite.

>>6818227
how does one even invite over such assholes?
if i was getting served free food with a chick i wanted to bang i think being a pretentious asshole is the last thing on my mind.
is this guy a virgin OP?>

>>6818283
thats the traditional american style.
european style is to use both hands equally.

>>6818287
To be more precise, it's called manners.
Eurotrash have none.

>>6818283
That's actually the traditional American style.
>>6818284
Idk, probably. Like I said in high school he always globbed onto my wife and the blonde girl, and constantly tried to fuck them but they wanted nothing to do with him. When my wife and I started dating he started hating me and made the blonde to the new target for his obsession.

I don't know if he's a virgin but he definitely isn't very good with women. Or anyone. He tends to be an asshole all the time, from what my wife has told me.

>>6818297
and knowing this you three thought it was a good idea to have a dinner getogether? you guys fucked up for inviting such a dunce, not the other way around.

>>6818227
>not parlaying this "tragically ruined" evening into a threesome with the blonde

>>6818295
im from canada and use the european style, the american style seems inefficient to me but i understand doing two things at once can be overwhelming.

>>6818036
No. Only animals do this. The sound is disgusting. The sight inside their mouth is disgusting. The way they have to open and close their entire fucking mouth every time they chew makes them look like a retard trying to eat.

>>6818303
Well despite being such an asshole, he is pretty good friends with the blonde girl and my wife. The blonde later said that she was surprised he acted that way because he normally isn't like that in polite company.

I think it may have something to do with the fact that I've been fucking his waifu for 8 years now. He probably wanted to make himself seem superior to me in front of my wife

>>6818312
youre a moron if you didnt see that coming, but i guess your cunt of a wife probably designed the evening with the blonde im guessing.

also >>6818304 you could have done this at least

>>6818324
Well I haven't seen the guy in about 2 years, I figured that a 25 year old man would have better things to do then throw a fit because I'm married to his high school crush

Never underestimate the power of sperglords to cause a scene, I guess

>>6818264
Well, who is she?

>>6818351
it's like no one outside of /g/ uses an extension or knows how to reverse image search

>>6818342
Just keep solace in the fact that he's an autist an you aren't.
Actually that helps me deal with retards in general.

>>6818364
It looks like a low res screenshot that someone took from a fullscreen YouTube vid then blew up. The fuck am I supposed to reverse search that?

>>6818374
if you're using the extension just hit the little button beside the image that says google, otherwise, open the pic in a new tab, copy the adress and plug that into google reverse image search here
https://images.google.com/
you can also use it to upload and search any pics you've got downloaded and need a sauce on

as to who she is, it's aymee brown

>>6818379
Thank you and thank you, Anon.

>>6818308
>doing two things at once can be overwhelming

We're too beautiful to multitask you fucking pleb

>>6818020
>>6818280
These, plus,

More commonly hated things.
>"I only eat non-GMO food."
>"Sodium is bad for you and you shouldn't eat it."
>"I only eat organic food."
>People overusing bacon.
>People that hate things like sriracha and avocado only because they're popular.
>People with "gluten intolerance."

Other things I never heard people complain about.
>When people order something like a sandwich with everything on it, and the take fucking ingredients off.

If you don't want fucking tomatoes on your burger, order it without fucking tomatoes you piece of shit.

>Extremely picky eaters.

I understand that some people don't like trying new food, but someone I know LITERALLY REFUSED to eat red corn just because it was red. IT TASTES THE FUCKING SAME.

>People who order expensive pasta at Italian restaurants.

Literally THE CHEAPEST FOOD. I'm not going to pay over $20 for a plate of pasta with some pieces of meat in it.

>>6817978


People are so dumb about food, I wish I could eat what I felt like around people without them making comments about how weird they think it is. It just blows some peoples minds that you can eat non-breakfast foods at breakfast. Or that combining salty and sweet tastes good (e.g. potato chips and chocolate). Or when they act overly self-conscious that what you are eating is more or less "healthy" than what they are eating. Just lemme eat and leave me alone.

>>6817978
balsamic vinegar of Modena is as "real" as traditional balsamico

People giving me shit for being vegan when there's been no previous altercation concerning mine and someone else's diet

>"heh, why're you eating that rabbit food"
>"my food eats your food"

>>6819002

> I'm not going to pay over $20 for a plate of pasta with some pieces of meat in it.

it's not the pasta you're paying a lot for you dingus.

>>6819056
This.
>hurr durr we're at the top of the food chain
>muh bacon
>where do you get your protein though?

>>6819057
What if it's handmade pasta?

>>6819002
>More commonly hated things.
>>"I only eat non-GMO food."
>>"Sodium is bad for you and you shouldn't eat it."
>>"I only eat organic food."
>>People overusing bacon.
>>People that hate things like sriracha and avocado only because they're popular.


> thinking that organic and non gmo are on the same level as gmo mega crops. top fucking kek anon. theres a reason that all of the top chefs actually prefer working with real, quality ingredients. still laughing.

>>6819072

I'm quite surprised that my Eastern European parents are as open about and interested in it as they are, meat is sacred to ex-commies, not much of it back in their day

>>6817978
Where's Irish?

>>6819113
But where do you get your protein?

>>6817999
>>6818000
>>6818011
>>6818066
>>6818277

THE FUCK /ck/!? ALL THESE UNCHECKED DUBS AND TRIPS!!

CHECKEDDDDDD

>>6819057
What is it then?

>>6819088
Are you still laughing now?

I refuse to drink warm water unless my life depends on it.

Go ice cold or go home.

>>6817978
>being salty that people told your shit food is shit, gotta insult them on 4chan
you TOLD him there champ', totally.

>>6818227
sounds like he may have been irish stew guy... I'm really curious now.

>>6819078
handmade pasta
>flour
>water
>salt
>egg depending on recipe

it's like bakign bread, it's tedious, time consuming work that's incredibly cheap but somehow everyone grew up thinking it's a daunting lavish task requiring thousands of dollars

>>6818713
You have an adorable way of seeing the world

Let's have tea sometime

>>6818020
Never work with Indians. I honestly think it might be a cultural thing where each person attempts to make more noise than the person next to them whilst eating.

Goddamn, how do you make chewing a piece of bread sound like trying to eat chips and salsa in a quiet room?

>>6822381
Kind of like how the japs slurp really loud.

>>6820408
Never accept an invitation to dine with a Chinese family. They offer you either hot water or a weak tea before dinner.

>>6822431
Koreans also. It's really exaggerated on their noodle commercials.

Petite little Korean chick, "Sluuuuurrrpp!! Da Bong!"

>>6822510
>>6822431
Eating sounds enrage me, but strangely slurping doesn't. Open mouthed chewing, lip smacking and exaggerated "AHHHhhh"s after slurping do though. I think it's a high frequency range thing.

>>6822546
I'm right there with you. It's odd that slurping doesn't bug me - as long, as you said, they don't make bullshit sounds after they swallow.

>>6822510
>Petite little Korean chick, "Sluuuuurrrpp!! Da Bong!"

>>6819181
This isn't /b/ newfriend

Pretentious sauce plating always triggers me.

>>6819284
The labor and convenience of having hand-made fresh pasta.

>>6823183

It has a time and place. Its like the fedora of the culinary world.

Goes well with haute cuisine, when everything else is just as nicely presented, but is absolutely atrocious if mismatched. Like a fedora and t shirt versus fedora and a tailored suit.. at the right occasion for it.

>>6818227
See
>>6818304

>>6817987
i loled.

>>6819002

>If you don't want fucking tomatoes on your burger, order it without fucking tomatoes you piece of shit.

20% of the time when you order from a restaurant and ask for an ingredient left out they just add everything anyway, and getting the wrong order is 100x more frustrating than just picking it off every time.

>>6823268
Anon, a fedora isn't in style even with a suit anymore.

>>6817978
>"true balsamic is above such barbaric uses such as cooking"

lol what the fuck do you use it for then?

>>6823313
Anon, the world isn't 4chan and most people have no idea what a "meme" even is.

>>6823335
alright, gramps.

>>6823335
No, seriously, nobody wears fedoras with suits. It's just not in fashion.

>>6823322
Well, actually, personally, I quite like to drink it, weird as it sounds. Some people drink whiskey, I drink a little bit of some nice balsamic vinegar.

>>6823355
Not the strangest thing I have heard of.

>>6817978
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE EAT WHILE STANDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also hate it when people go "aahhhhhh" after they're done eating.

>>6823337
Put milk on your chin. A kitty will lick it off. There's your shave, junior.

>>6819054
No, it really isn't. It has to be aged in wood barrels and in solera.

>>6823362
You wouldn't last two minutes on the Army. You'd cry, curl up in the fetal position and start sucking your thumb.

>>6823393
i can take it. doesn't mean i have to like it, though.

Foodies make me mad because they're absolute cunts.

>>6823400
That's the infantry attitude. Perhaps you would do well. Shit sucks but we shut the hell up and take it.

>>6818011
I tried it. It's convenient. It's something I learned from the corner talking. I stopped doing it because really it's unnecessary.

>>6823348
>implying people who follow fashion trends know anything at all about fashion

>>6823362

you sound like my mum.

>>6818227
>about to punch a guy for being a bitch about cooking

nice anger issues dude

>>6818011
I'm italian and i can confirm:
In my entire life i've never seen anyone do that, not even in luxury restaurants

real balsamic is like 100 dollars a bottle. wish I could try it.

>>6818066
Thanks alton i already learned this on good eats....got any new info though?

>>6818223
He sounds like a pretentious faggot but he is correct about your niggery coice in brandy just buy sone cheap ass Christian brothers

>>6818312
He fucked your wife before you did get over it

>people sperging out over people who eat meat
>people sperging out over people who are vegetarian/vegan

>>6824335
>which statement is true?

>>6824349
Both.
Those people are even more retarded than the ones who argue over liking cats or dogs more.

>>6824355
vegans organize riots and engage in memetic warfare
people that eat meat have no agenda

>>6824359
So they're even dumber by giving them the attention they seek.

>>6824367

>>6817978
>blah blah blah
who fucking cares.

>>6818020
In some asian countries it's polite to make noise while eating you fucking autismos.

>>6818342
Where/how did you learn to cook ? Just curious.
And why would you want to get married ?

>>6819113
Hell, my mother isn't even that old, 50-something (yeah I feel bad for not remembering) and she remembers the time when money was near-worthless and you got gov. issued meat coupons and then you had to stand in line for hours. Fuck me I'm glad I never had to go through it. 27 and Polish btw. Hbu anon ?

People who are either happy with eating the same 3 meals every single day or people who don't dare explore new foods.
Had to babysit a girl for a bit and having to cater every meal to her tastes got really frustrating after a while
>Squid?
>Only if it's deep fried calamari rings, otherwise it's scary
>Duck?
>Eww
>Sushi?
>I don't eat raw fish
>Okay well you like fried things, what about fish and chips?
>I don't eat fish
>Try it at least. You'll like it
>No, I don't eat fish
>Onions?
>Nope
>Shrimp?
>Scary
>Eggplant?
>...what's that?
>Well it's-
>No
My mind was about to burst after a while. I can understand if she's real young and has only had basic bitch foods, but she was 16.

>>6825795
Why did a 16 year old girl need to be babysat for a prolonged period of time anyway?

>>6825815
She was from abroad staying for the summer. Sheltered, naive, doesn't speak the language, can't take care of herself.

>>6825815
had that baby sittin on this dick

>>6824283
Hi tipper mcfedora neet :^)

>>6825795
Did you fuck her?

>>6823348
Old black men do.

>>6819002
Why do some people on this board seem to have such a gruff against people with coeliac disease? I can understant people getting monkey about vegans and such because after all is a diet they chose and that the gluten-free labelling on foods is quite retarded sometimes but hating someone for a condition they don't have chosen? That's being a dick

>>6826029
There's a difference between people with coeliac disease and people who claim to have "gluten intolerance."

>>6826029
A tiny fraction of people have celiac. I work in a retail store and suddenly 60% of all soccer moms "need" gluten free chicken.

>>6826029
I doubt that anon actually has a problem with people with coeliac disease. Note the difference between
>People with "gluten intolerance"
and
>People with gluten intolerance

Acting as if the fact that starchy, heavy meals are going to leave you full and sleepy means you have a medical condition is undeniably a trend at the moment, and while it has the side benefit of encouraging more products for actual coeliacs it makes people take a dangerous disorder less seriously.