/ck/ - Food & Cooking

spam is shit
>stinks like dog food when you open the can
>starts to stink like cat food soon after
>undercooked it is disgusting squishy 'meat' foam
>cooked to a crisp it is still worse than poverty tier composite bacon
>there is no 'just right'

inb4 u just haven't done it right
fuck off islander

>>6716433
Wait how is spam undercooked? And haven't you ever tried making a hamburger p[atty out of spam? It's the limit!

>>6716433
Old here so sodium intake is a thing I watch now.

Spam is just a lolno. I don't even hate the taste.

>>6716433
slice it thin and throw it in a hot pan for like 45 seconds each side.

the problem is thick slices whether you have it plain or fried. the thinner the slice, the more enjoyable it is.

>potted meat-eating polak reporting in

>>6716426
They did this on iron chef

>>6716426
Even the most basic tuna salad recipe is pretty amazing. Fried salmon patties are good.

Put chilled potted meat on a fancy cracker and, let's be honest, you've got pâté. I'd love to see how many people you could fool. Penn & Teller tried it once.

And pork and beans are underrated. Pour in some molasses, chili powder, and apple cider vinegar, and you've got one of the best bowls of beans that I've ever had. I eat it way too much.

Some people don't rinse it off after taking it out of the can. That weird jelly shit is pretty nasty on it, onced rinsed off that shit is gone and it's not all that bad for once in a year or something. Chop that bastard up and add it to some pasta with some sweet peas and feast out!

>>6716426
Easy. Spam carbonara.

>>6716426
No

>>6716433

>I am EXTREMELY critical of tinned meats
>I only eat the FINEST of Purina pet chow

Could one use a cheese grater on spam and make cracklins? that could be good on a salad or in pasta

>>6716426
If you're willing to deconstruct and reconstruct it you can take spam pretty far.

I've never tried spam, honestly I'd be embarrassed to purchase it.

>>6716957
What the fuck does that even mean?

>>6716426
Done.

>>6716426
Chefjacqueslamerde has a whole instagram dedicated to what he's done with 1 star food.

1) get a VERY LARGE PLATE (VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2) stamp out three Spam "rods"
3) sautee them
4) arrange in center of plate
5) arrange some leafy greens around them
6) drizzle olive oil and sriracha on the plate
7) generously grind black pepper over your "art"
8) WA LA

>>6717027
>olive oil
>not truffle oil
you done fucked up

>>6717043
>hating olive oil

YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA

>>6716934
>I am poor
>my people unironically enjoy WWII rations

>>6716776
Why would you want to rinse delicious meat jelly off?

>>6716438
How old is old?

>>6716426
>kick room mate out
>he takes a bunch of little things I wouldn't miss until the day I need them
>takes my laundry detergent, don't realize til I go do laundry
>takes all my seasoning, don't realize it because I'm a cook, so when I'm not at work, the last thing I typically want to do is cook some more, and just eat take out
>start dating a girl, invite her over to my place for dinner
>want to make pork chops with mashed potatoes and green beans
>finally break open my pantry
>all my seasoning and salt and shit is gone
>just have a box of ramen noodles
>use the seasoning packets
>mfw she loved it
>mfw she hadsex with me
>mfw she still doesn't know

>>6716445
This guy knows what's up.

>>6717043
>truffle oil not a meme bullshit ingredient

>>6719059
Personally I love slathering truffle oil all over Andouille sausage.

>>6716426
mfw nobody here has had army base stew

I don't mind Spam if it's treated correctly. It's basically ham-flavoured scrapple so prepare it the same was you would scrapple IE crisp-fry several very thin slices rather than one thick slice.
It'll taste much better that way.

>>6717210
wth is the difference between the three -nesias?
Different ethnicities?

>>6719087
Colonial history, languages spoken, who's colonies or terriroties they are if they still are. It varies a lot, especially in language, culture, food, etc.

>>6719103
almost forgot... cannibalism which relates to food, some of those fuckers on fiji for instance were certified cannibals.

>>6719087
That and linguistic family, yes.

In that map, Hawaii and New Zealand are both part of Polynesia. The native populations are culturally, linguistically and ethnically related. Hawaiian and Maori (NZ natives) are very, very closely related languages. When you note the consonant shifts between the two, if you can understand one of the languages, you can easily understand the other as well, kinda like how speakers of Danish and Swedish can generally understand each other.
For example, the word 'family,' as popularised by Lilo and Stitch, is 'ohana' in Hawaiian. In Maori, it's spelled something like whaanau or whatever but is pronounced 'ofanu,' which shows that clear relation.
Another example is 'one, two, three' in Maori is 'tahi, rua, toru' and 'kahi, lua, kolu' in Hawaiian.

This is all because, for some reason, Hs in Hawaiian become Fs in Maori (and vice versa) and Ts in Maori become Ks in Hawaiian (and vice versa) not to mention the R/L thing, too.

Also, the native mythologies are identical or nearly so.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Māui_(Hawaiian_mythology)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Māui_(Māori_mythology)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maui_(Samoan_mythology)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maui_(Tahitian_mythology)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maui_(Tongan_mythology)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maui_(Mangarevan_mythology)

>>6717027
>WA LA
>No Fazoli's
You fucked up.

>>6719066
Treated correctly? Do you smoke your spam or something?

>>6719038
She knew man....She knew.

>>6716426
Wasn't this concept already a big thing a while back?

>>6716445
I've never enjoyed it cooked anywhere near as much as cold, I keep the sealed tins in the fridge so they're perfect when I want them. Then it's a slice whenever I fancy a snack for a couple of days

>>6719087
>>6717210
>no indonesia
My girlfriend is indonesian, they have loads of ethnicities there and it's not even included in this diagram.

>>6716426
I tried SPAM raw and it tasted like shit. Why?

>>6719038
reminds me of the day i was broke and had no oil
skimmed the oil off a can of tuna.

>>6720335
not from the fridge?

>>6720363
Tried it both in and out of the fridge

>>6716426

One star ingredients?? That doesnt make any sense.. cooking doesnt work like that. As long as it is spoiled you can take anything and mix it with the many types of spices, herbs, ingredients etc and make it taste like anything.. You can make top ramen taste like engineered fast food.. its just takes time with trial and error and money.

>>6720273
No. To treat it correctly, you just
>>6719066
>prepare it the same way you would scrapple IE crisp-fry several very thin slices rather than one thick slice.

Crisp spam and Jap/Korean rice drowned in cold water

Delicious as fuck.