/ck/ - Food & Cooking

truffle oil

>>6592692
oh and make burgers that are too big to actually fit in your mouth with ingredients that have no business being in burgers

>>6592686
Sriracha
Gluten Free
Vegetarian/Vegan

Be owned by a Celebrity chef.

>>6592697
no, successful burgers are tiny as fuck

Penis
penis is the next big thing
gotta have animal penis on your menu
mark my words
penis

>>6592714
Sarcastic or not, Id believe it with all this glamour surrounding chefs like Andrew Zimmern who are going to 3rd world countries and eating balls and animal dicks, people are gonna start thinking that if they eat that then they will become an ultra foodie or something

Brand it as a gastropub.

>>6592686
So, are you trying to be clever or funny or something right now? You didn't do it very well.

>Your restaurant needs an instagram
>#Hashtags

>buy restaurant space
>live in it for three months
>don't clean; leave everything you aquire hanging around somewhere
>go to a flea market for extra "decoration"
>set up tables and chairs
>now you have a hipster diner
>serve any food and label it natural, using phrases like "from scratch" and "from our own farm/garden"
>get ready to swim in profit

>Only homosexuals with moustaches and short hot sluts can be waiters and waitresses
>Token 'big guy' behind the bar
>Fat chef
>Ironic restaurant name
>"The Food Eating Place"
>Only sell Mexican Piss Water and Heinneken

fast and fresh
gluten free
vegan options (aka, one pasta salad and two regular salads)
coffee
have you tried our ______
no blacks

>>6592834
says you

>>6592697
Speaking of burgers

>Be from Europe
>Go over to my American friends house for dinner after school
>His mum serves up hamburgers they look so good
>Start taking apart the burger, making a salad out of the vegetables, cutting the meat into strips, cutting the bread into slices
>Look up at my friend
>His just shoved the whole thing into his mouth
>literally just eating it all together
>took a bite right out of the middle like some retarded starving kid
>never went back to his house

Americans really eat all that junk together? they've completely missed the point of a burger.

what about a meme cafe where everything's a copypasta

>>6592686
pretty accurate
maybe add in sous vide

>>6592954

>>Start taking apart the burger, making a salad out of the vegetables, cutting the meat into strips, cutting the bread into slices

>they've completely missed the point of a burger

>>6592955
Id eat there

>Yes Id liek to try your "Dude, i'm gonna type as sober as possible, that honestly looks fcking pathetic and digusting compared to my meal. and I'm being one hundred percent serious. Sorry we dont cook sht that was perviously in cans. you're a fuking joke dude, and im dead fuking serious. gert areal family that cooks good food, drinks beer and wine and winecoolers and has a good fuking time, and has a milliondollar house on the beach, im seriously.. dont eever potst your fuking poverty dinner on these forums ever the fuk again bro, and by bro i mean never my bro, fuking phaggot."

>>6592954

three words: Cuy Al Horno

>>6592954
I skewer my burgers with those little plastic swords just to foil the plot of malicious individuals like yourself.

>>6592954

>>6592686
>>6592692
yes, also

microgreens on everything,
specifically bulls blood, but generally just top dishes with microgreens and one tiny individual micro leaflet or tiny bit of chive on hour devours

and cakepops

>>6592970
>can i have the "authentic irish stew" please

>>6593870

>>6593893
>not oatmeal with dairy

>>6592686
I guess I don't eat out enough because I have no fucking idea what you're talking about

>>6593937
Meme foods

>>6593937
lol fukn pleb do u even board culture #rekt

>>6592686
>What am I missing?

this douche bag in your TV ad

>>6593965
>>6593939

Yeah but this doesn't actually happen in real life.

This is some weird boogeyman created from the gestalt fears of everyone on this board desperate to prove how cool and counterculture they are by trying to think of things that they personally don't like. It's like half of them have never left the house yet base their experience of "modern restaurants" on cooking tumblrs and food network

Locally Sourced
"Gourmet" version of popular processed food
Your restaurant used to be some industrial building

>>6594208
Most of us work in the food industry and pay attention to culinary trends and in fact do know what were talking about

>>6592862
>fat chef
there's the secret right there

>>6592686
coconut water on beverage menu
Sriracha available

>>6594386
>Locally Sourced
I don't know why this is a problem. I don't expect this from all restaurants but I went to a burger place recently whose draft beers are all from local brewers. I got the chance to try some really good beers that aren't widely available except at restaurants like these. And a pretty good burger, too. The downside is what, exactly?

>>6595036
People who live in a meme world like 4chan think the whole world cares about memes and they get very flustered about this.

>>6595036
Yeah, all these are pretty accurate descriptions of your typical up and coming trendy restaurant but the local, organic, and farm to table trend is one that I like, Ill eat it regardless but I like naturally grown veggies and fresh ingredients, were moving away from flash frozen convenient tv dinner shit and were getting stuff that is actually prepared when you order its nice

>>6593893
>being this new

>>6595081
Do you know what a full stop is?

>>6595036
>>6595081

The only downside is that people eat like this because it's a trend, not because they actually give a shit about food. When the trend dies, as trends do, who knows what the next trend will be?

>>6595389
I prefer full on streams of consciousness

>>6595017

chain restaurants are not "culinary industry" they're fucking McJobs

>>6595417

Oh, so you're a time traveling psychic who speaks for everyone? Thanks for the advice

>>6595471
I think theres a good portion of people on this board that work in a real restaurant and even have culinary training, Im one of them