/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Posting some Tom Willett for the uninitiated

More cremated sandwiches... well really it's the same one but now with more flour

Right now

>>6579744
>>6580142
That's some nice caramelization.

>>6579744
the real star of this cringe is the instant coffee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VoFJxfqtJo

Pic related.

> be op
> make this thread because good forbid it's been 45 minutes since the last one hit archive status
> wait for replies
> hear about expanding roomie
> hear about cheerio dog dish truck pederast
> hear about panko meatloaf
> hear about subway dick guy
> hear about spergs complain about meme food
> hear inbred britbongs whine about how they're not allowed to eat bacon because it hurts Muhammad's feelings
> hear about people burning water somehow
> hear about stoners turning on burners and walking away to go jack off then returning after a twelve hour call of duty session too find kitchen set aflame
> hear about op's mom's gaping cunt. His sister's, too.

OC

>>6580201
i downvote your post

Does anyone have a link to the Finnish guy with the potatoes and doghair?

>>6580177
I stumbled upon this video roughly 2 weeks after it was posted, and I've thought about it almost every day since. This, and the taco pizza one. I don't know what it is, but I'm seriously fucking haunted by this video. It's not even like I'm scared of it or anything, I just can't forget about it.

>>6580204
I'm more distracted by your profile picture, to tell you the truth.

>>6580328
Well shit, I didn't notice. Now one you sickos is going to figure out who I am.

>>6579733
How did people make pancakes before non-stick was invented?

>Have to make gluten free pancake 'canneloni' for girlfriend because 'ma dietary phase'
>Can't find the one non stick pan she has
>Use a stainless steel pan, put oil in it
>Pancake absorbs all oil then sticks to pan
>Try again with butter
>Pancake absorbs butter and sticks to pan
>Try putting more of everything
>Pancake just absorbs more of everything and sticks to pan.

What the fuck am I doing wrong? I had never been so frustrated in my life before that moment.

>>6580399
Find a new girlfriend.

I want to hate Jack because of the abominations he creates, but he has a relaxing voice and would probably be a cool guy to hang out with.

>>6580399
sounds like it's not hot enough, or there's too much water in your batter.

if you don't want them to brown, you can heat the oil or butter in the pan to medium-high, then let it cool to medium-low before cooking in it. make sure you let the butter cook until the water is evaporated, if you use that instead of oil.

if the fat never gets hot enough, it doesn't quite make the nonstick layer it's supposed to.

>>6580406
I will not.

>>6580420
This could be it. I generally just turn everything on high (unless I'm slow cooking) and hope for the best. I'll use more patience next time, thanks!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgtYZivDDak

>>6579733
Why does he pour things directly out of the containers when it's always way too much? What does he have against spoons?

>>6580481
I have no idea. I usually freehand shit, and can't see how he can consistently add too much of basically everything every time he pours or whatever.

jack truly is a fucking cuck

he constantly makes jokes about what a man he is for not reading directions or in his scratch pizza video, saying "haha I'm such a man for using my sons gatorade bottle as a rolling pin"

not only that, but he tries to have some deep radio voice and he sounds disgusting. his wife needs to completely neuter him

>>6580177
dammmmmmn. poor dude.

>>6580177
>You're thinking "Stew where's the peeeeas?"

I'm fucking dead.

Old man Tom cooks everything to a cinder and King Ja/ck/ undercooks most things or just completely fucks it up

>>6580650
This is such a sad picture.

>>6580655
Can't keep the King down, though

>>6580440
>uses chopsticks
>on the whole block
>can't pick it up

>>6580660
I just watched the video and holy fucking christ, he knew that it wouldn't be a good idea to swallow it so he kept it in his mouth.

>>6580201
Back 2 reddit

>>6580660
Got a link to the video? This is absolutely unbelievable. Does he just say it's juicy?

Someone on /ck/ made marie's famous tomato sauce if that counts

>>6580754
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J47pL_BW8TQ

>>6580760
the recipe isn't that bad, he just throw it to the trash for epic memelulz.

Rage: people eating raw, bloody steak

>>6580660
>watch a random video of him preparing chicken
>BBQ Chicken - GRILLING
>it's raw again

How can you fucking undercook chicken on a grill?

>>6580383
yes, you look like someone from /r9k

>>6580399
i dont own any non stick pans. i tend to cook mostly with cast iron. for cast iron a good season is helpful. pan has to be hot is the trick. dont just stick it on the burner and a second later put batter in. my wife cooks with stainless when she makes pancakes. she never has trouble. she uses butter not oil. that might make a difference.

>>6580440
>Took 45 minutes to prepare with interaction needed every 3-5 minutes

>Quick easy meal

>>6579733
Got a link to first column, fourth row video? The one with all the burnt shit on the oven tray?

>>6580775
oh lord, that last picture made me sick as fuck

>>6580204
what is that.....?
>>6580328
kek we are gonna dox you and send you to /baph/

>>6580769
>the recipe isn't that bad

I can't imagine anything with a gallon of fucking oil in it is good

>>6580766

Love how he play it off, i can imagine what was going through his brain when he tasted that cold meat and realized it's not even cooked.

>>6580650
He said throughout the entire video that bison needs to be rare. His burger patty is cooked rare, so it was successfully cooked to how he wanted it.

Honestly don't see why you guys are giving him so much shit over it.

>>6580927
Raw =/ rare

>>6580769
>recipe isn't that bad

The fuck is wrong with you?

>>6580953
fucking marie cucking up our board

>>6580897
Welcome to /ck/. It's good to see new dwellers.

>>6580204

>>6580927
The fat is even rendered in the meat which means it is still fucking raw. Even if you cook a steak blue the fat needs to be rendered or else you get bits of solid fat in your mouth.

>>6580927
>a true member of the King's army

>>6580497
She probably already has. She lets him have his little show while Chad Tundercock and Jerome treat her to a nice meal at a good restaurant before they double team her.

>>6580769
>recipe isn't that bad

Nilla do you SEE how much oil is in that shit? It's fucking repulsive.

>>6581029
It was wagyu grade bison.

>>6579744
>>6580142

more Tom Willett
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXEHV-PgPJo

>>6581033
kek

New video has just been released.

>>6581050
His balls are as pink and raw as his chicken

They are coming to America and I tried them just last night and I threw up and could not stop for ten trucking minutes! I am thinking WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ABORTION OF A FUCKING PIZZA!? I am Italian and I want to order one of these fucking pizzas and throw it at the headquarters! I wish they would stop catering to the ungrateful, fatass, retarded hicks who waddle or drive in on their scooters! As if America cannot fuck up any other national cuisine or get any fatter! Now I have said my peace and will drink some Lambrusco.

>>6580204

That's pretty fucking funny

*fucking

>>6581082
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkYNM0RoQO8

>>6581087

>>6581070
Can't tell if you're trolling or just don't understand how fat rendering and temperatures work...

>>6581090
he surprisingly didnt fuck up that

>>6581099
she is just eating it ja/ck/ style

>>6580650
Look at that, beautiful, isn't that beautiful? It looks perfect!

>>6580787
The chicken is raw every single time, even in the OP image where it's burned to shit on the outside.

anyone has the pic of some ice blocks in a toast?

>>6581087
>Made in Luxembourg

>>6581160

My asian housemate puts sriracha on literally everything. My black housemate only cooks two things: fried chicken, or spaghetti.

>>6580195

Is that...butter?

>fat brown turd eating salsa-coated butter stick with wheat fats

>>6581391
>literally
No.

>>6581391
This was my breakfast today. Ayy lmao.

>>6581397

I have not yet seen a food he hasn't put sriracha on. Yes, literally. Potato chips. Fish. Curry. Rice. Eggs. Ramen. ...that's actually all he eats.

>>6581391
>>6581402
sriracha is fucking disgusting. not only is it too hot, but it tastes awful.

>>6581397
>Literally
>used for emphasis while not being literally true

>>6580440
Watch his toaster grilled cheese video, this dude is a fuckwit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8NNblm97ks

>no buttered bread
>cheese isn't melted after
>top of sandwich is untoasted
>his cute mixed-race daughter pretending to enjoy it just to make daddy happy.

>>6580148
the fuck

>>6581410
One time we forgot to bring ketchup when we went camping. We cooked hotdogs.

All we had was Sriracha so we put that on the hotdog buns and ate them just like that.

It was delicious.

>>6580177
>>6580325

This is fake, stop losing sleep over it.

>>6581366
That looks really juicy

>>6581082
Oh god, I have that tray. I got it at Ikea.

>>6581443
Fake as in what?

Is English your first language?
It's probably not your first language.

>>6580419
I'm a Ja/ck/off, but I don't think I could hang out with him. Watch some of his "debates" he does with his brother (?). He is incredibly stupid and misinformed.
He took his kid out of school because he didn't want the state of California teaching sex ed.

>>6581402

>runny yolk

I just can't stand it. The texture is wrong to me. Oh well

>>6581593
I actually broke the bottom of one of the eggs trying to scoop it out of the frying pan.

I cried a little when it happened.

>>6581480
Not the anon you're arguing with, but do you really not see that it's just some bro who buttoned the top button of his shirt, got some "creepy" glasses and put some gel in his hair to look greasy and unkempt and talks in a weird voice for maximum Youtube views and hopeful viral breakout/Buzzfeed article?

Is english not your first language or are you 12 to believe that's real?

>>6581622
He is pretending, he is acting.
The video is not fake.

>>6580201

Fuck off back to reddit, faggot.

>>6581157
Do you remember which video has the burnt as shit chicken? I looked for it, but I couldn't track it down.

>>6581391
Thankfully that isn't butter. It's cream cheese.

>>6581634
I don't understand. Clearly when people say the video is fake they mean that he is acting. What would make a video fake under your definition? Would it have to be CG or not actually exist at all outside of our minds or something?

>>6581443
I honestly don't think he is. He has other videos just like this one about eating fucking pomegranates and brushing your teeth. I just think he's an oddball eccentric that we happen to see a glimpse of. Nothing he's doing is particularly odd, he's just reaaaally bland and awkward.

>>6581647
>>6581157

Found it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0NOgQK46ts

>>6581736
Oh fuck, of course it's that one. Thanks man, it was driving me nuts.

>>6581366

Stew and Jack are a billion times funnier than Ken and Joey.

>>6581751
>>6581736

I love when he starts cutting up the chicken he just hacks away at it with a small knife while exclaiming, "juicy! so hot and wet!" over and over. I kek'd

>>6581736

>>6581736
I mean its jack's first fully cooked chicken so there's that.

>>6581736
>the outside is almost completely charred
>don't worry, it's not charred on the inside
thanks jack

>>6581803
"I know what you're thinking. Jack, you burnt that chicken to shit. Don't worry, it's probably raw inside."

>>6581767
cool dawg

does anyone else think that marinating does exactly jack shit?

the meat is not going to absorb shit.

>>6581821
it's the only way to give chicken any taste

>>6581821

>>6581736
what.

But -why wouldn't he just try again?

You don't see chef john putting out this kind of shit.

>>6581821
worlds biggest retard right here

>>6581841
Can you give me the name of that book?

I could really use it.

>>6581873
Modernist Cuisine : The Art and Science of Cooking

>>6581892
thanks man. I've been looking for a while for a book that explain why to use certain ingredients.

>>6581920
You can't afford it. Find a torrent for it

>>6581892
$600 what the fuck
it must be the greatest book ever

>>6581926
600 is just asking for it to be torrented. Not even academic books cost that much.

>>6581926
Pretty large collection and some amazing photography.I don't think it warrants $600 but it is pretty impressive.

>>6580428
Well, there is your problem, friendo.

>>6581930
Its thousands of pages on cooking some people but it. I did torrent all the volumes though. It used to be talked about on here a lot

>>6581480
Yeah, I'm watching it right now. He's right, the guy is acting. He's obviously TRYING to be creepy with that voice, those glasses, the comb over and the goddamn shirt buttoned up all the way. I feel like I'm watching a Troma movie.

>>6580650

pls link video

>>6581962
See
>>6580766

>>6581962

disregard, found it

Holy shit a thread on /ck/ that isnt mega dead

nice

>>6581992
>mega dead

Also how new are you? You do realize there are boards that go slower than others? You would know that if you browsed something other than /b/

>>6581113
>uses salted butter
Yep, nope

>>6581926
>>6581935
>>6581930

Yeah it's expensive but it's printed on thick, poster-weight paper and it's huge and 6 volumes. I'd actually say it's not absurd for what you're getting. That said you should torrent the PDFs which are pretty damn huge themselves.

>>6580204
>working at Wallmart
Jesus

>>6580399
its called seasoning your pan.
your a scrub mate a scrub.

>>6580769
youve clearly havent seen this shit.

>>6579733
We're cooking like fiends

>>6580766
the way he formed the patties angered me

>>6581424
poor child.

>>6581599
i know the feel.

>>6580915
wasn't there also an egg in there?

How is he not dead by now

>>6581634
is english your first language ?? ?

>>6581736
oh my god that chicken looks so fucking dry

>>6582433
No, Anon. It's hot. And wet. Don't you see? It's so juicy!

Beautiful.

>>6580775
I've considered doing this once while high. I think I'll try it sometime. You know, for science.

>>6580325
In the first 3 seconds or so, you should be able to understand that it's just an act.

>>6580766
>breadcrumbs, teriyaki sauce, and an egg
disgusting

>>6581736

trying not to vomit from his own cooking

>>6580420
>if you don't want them to brown

Wait, wtf? Some people don't want their pancakes to brown?

>>6581124

1/2 a bite and the rest falls on the floor of the kitchen, to be walked upon until it becomes one with the floor. Jacktiles. It's the new.

>>6581029

fat simply doesn't render at blue rare temperatures, which is why you don't cook meat with large fatty deposits or lots of connective tissue blue rare unless you have weird preferences. it's only gonna soften but it won't melt completely and it certainly won't be released by the connective tissue which holds it in place.

4chan really likes to gather together and shit on people but they almost always reveal how little they know when doing so. same with marie's homemade tomato sauce, same with anything. of course jack's not a good cook but the people who indulge in these threads are almost always just as bad.

>>6580766
>>6582556
>>6580650
>raw meat on the outside
>still defending it

>>6582556
what about maries italian sauce

>>6581736
the thing that made me rage is the fact that his walls are green. fml

>>6580766
>favorite salsa
>he's using pace

>doesn't know what bison is
>lives in the states

jesus fucking christ

No rage video or pictures, but do stories count?
>Be cooking meal for friends
>Spend all day on it
>Looks great, tastes great. Everything about this meal is fucking perfect
>Friend has been helping in kitchen all day
>just about finished with everything, very excited to share with everyone
>Friend stops, looks at me and says "know what would go great in this? VELVEETA."
>Proceeds to dump entire block into what were cooking
>Where the fuck did you even get that
>Rage of 1000 suns
>Rage so hard I wake myself up
It was just a dream, thank god but i was so pissed until i was fully awake. Had she done that in reality i probably would have killed her.

When will they reveal their true feelings for each other?

>>6582544
they're not pancakes, they're cannelloni crepes, more like pasta

>>6581864
>You don't see chef john putting out this kind of shit.
Chef John has the benefit of knowing what the fuck hes doing

>>6582639
Beautiful poetry, Anon.

>>6582556
Lol, fat can render at blue steak temps but not at always all of it. The point is that you shouldn't have solid fat in the meat, so if you cook it and it does then you've fucked up. He is also cooking bison which has low fat levels compared to beef anyway. I might as well throw your condescending comment back at you, faggot.

>>6581736
>this sad excuse for a quesadilla
>starting from a cold pan

I feel like puking,

So why didn't Jack give the patty a small cut while cooking them to see how the insides were coming along? Is that frowned upon?

>>6583088
King Ja/ck/ can sense when his meat is done via the tingling in his nutsa/ck/

>>6582807
Two Jacks one plate

So I was watching some of his old videos trying to find the scenes from the OP, and in one of them from 2010 he was driving around in his 'best ____ you'll ever taste' stationwagon.

It is now 5 years later and he still promotes his brand of 'best ____ you'll ever taste' seasoning.

That means Jack has been running a successful cooking supplies business for 5+ years, along with a successful youtube cooking channel. No wonder you hacks are jealous.

>>6583194
u tell 'em, m9

>>6583194
This seasoning mang.. it looks like mold and he never rubs it into the meat he just sprinkels it over it. This guy makes me so fucking mad because he learned NOTHING over 5 fucking years.

>>6581410
The hipster's cock is hard in this one.

>>6582678

wow, great fuckin' story.

>>6583127

the shape of his head explains a lot. "beautiful" is the only adjective that athletic cup shaped head can produce.

You must cater a large event for your friends, family, coworkers and business associates. Who do you hire?

The Wild Cu/ck/ King Ja/ck/ or Based Tom?

>>6583247

would easily choose toms deluxe grilled cheese and flour sandwiches, paired with banana grahm cracker bowls and watermelon with a spoon over king cuck.

>>6583247
Jack and have him serve a chicken dish.

>>6583258
Chicken Cordon Bleu stuffed with "rare" Bison and Cheese Product

>>6582556
>marie's homemade tomato sauce
You just revealed that you're literally retarded, please kill yourself lest you honestly believe you know anything.

>>6583247
Based Tom doesn't take himself seriously (I hope), Jack thinks he can cook, big difference

>>6583270
I've made it and it's pretty damn good. I assume the 1 1/2 cups oil was a typo and just used 1/2 cup. Would recommend.

>>6581783
>triggered

>>6583274
I think the watermelon recipes are just jokes but some of the other ones seem serious to me. He still cracks jokes in a deadpan way but I think he does eat that shit and likes it.

>>6583194
Define successful, please.
He's been shilling his disgusting sauce for 5 years but how much has he sold?

>>6583247
Since I don't have friends, don't really like my family and hate my coworker I'd go with a nice and juicy chicken dinner prepared by chef jack

>>6583290
Most small businesses go out of business within the first 2-3 years. That Jack has lasted 5+ already makes him upper tier in the business world.

>>6583320
Lol, he is bankrolled by his wife.

>>6583274
I've been wondering about Featureman since I started watching him around 5 years ago, when someone posted him on /b/. This was way before he did the viral watermelon vid mind you. And to tell you the truth I don't think he's bullshitting, given he's been making these odd ass cooking videos since early 2007. Same nasty crap, same personality, same everything. I honestly believe this guy eats the shit he makes, and that he makes the same stuff for everyday meals too.

>>6583322
Which obviously means he's a beast in the sack.

>>6583338
Pretty sure he is impotent and the King of Cu/ck/s but ok

Tom's Hobo Salad

Are there still people who think Tom is real?

>>6583357
well, he is real. his videos are just a joke.

>>6583320
if "staying in business" just means mentioning to people that you're still selling sauce that's just not impressive.
He's not running a brick and mortar store with employees that need to be paid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaSsMW_ayLM

This one... I'll have to make a webm of it later

>>6583408
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8-crxYOfgA

>>6580775
Showed this to my preggo wife
she puked for 2hours
she still gags to this day if I just say sundae ramen

>>6583411
>He turns it off early
>Thigh is red and bloody
Heh.

>>6581424
oh god I made the mistake of clicking his leftover turkey fried rice video. what a fucking cringefest. I don't know how much you guys do Chinese/Thai/Indo-Malay cooking, but the only thing he seemed to get right was using a well-seasoned wok on a gas stove
>medium heat
>fucking olive oil
>silicone spoon
>rice doesn't seem to be dried out or chilled at all
>egg beaten before being thrown into the pan
>takes egg out while it's gooey
>lets vegetables slowly cook without moving them like a fucking mirepoix
>only seasoning is White People Brand soy sauce

>>6583033

>Lol, fat can render at blue steak temps but not at always all of it.

seldom all of it. if you cooked a rib roast at 50C sous vide for 3 days much of the fat would still be in place. it just isn't hot enough for the fat to lose enough viscosity and the proteins in the meat to contract enough to squeeze it loose.

>He is also cooking bison which has low fat levels compared to beef anyway

that works in his favour you mongoloid. you can eat very lean meat this rare, in fact it's often desirable with fillet for instance.

>>6583270

no i didn't, you faggots always have the dumbest fucking criticisms of that video.

>>6583290
According to an article in the OCRegister, he sold $60k worth of sauces in 2011. He made the youtube channel to promote the sauces in 2007, and has only been getting more popular every year.

>>6583371
As of last year, he was supplying his sauces to be sold in nearly 300 Walmart stores across America.

Face it Anon, King Ja/ck/ is one of America's greatest success stories.

>>6581771
Joey used to be funnier than Jack or anyone
Ken is still fun just because of how hatable he is

but now Jack is king, the cuck king

>>6583688
cutting edge special effects.

>>6583688
Ja/ck/ the magic dragon lived on a shelf
He couldn't play with anyone so he played with himself
He couldn't please his family, times were gonna suck
So he got his wife a boyfriend and that's why we call him cu/ck/

>>6580976
>>6580328
>>6580383
>>6580911
>>6580812

kek

>>6583709
He's like the proto-Ja/ck/

>>6583709
>>6580976

So we'll hate him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a careless memer. A cringe poster. A Jack Ruess.

>>6583713
>>6583743
>Ja/ck/ C Ruess, do you even lift Bowflex? Well, do you?

>>6583613
So you cook it longer or at a higher temp in the case of sous vide--that is the point you fucking retard, jesus. And having low fat doesn't mean you can eat it raw when there is still solid fat in it. I swear the people on 4chan get stupider every year.

>>6583662
OTOH 170k subs in 8 years is pretty damn terrible if that's a major source of income. Plus his view counts are fairly low compared to his subscriber number. And $60k in gross sales is probably shit as well considering the cost of his "sauce" he probably only made around $10k in profit if even that.

>>6581087
Pretty sure this is a Japanese import, but you're post is just to beat off your hate-boner for America anyway.
Also Italian-made pizzas are always shitty, half undercooked and half burnt. Enjoy your tomato flavored dough with not enough cheese, fag.

>>6583662
>>6583676
That's more than I expected I must say, but 60k gross is still pretty low, especially if his product is in 300 stores.
And without knowing his expenses in making, marketing, and shipping the sauces we still don't know if he's even making a profit.
As someone else said it could be that his wife is bankrolling this for him.

>>6583811

no, that's not the point. jack didn't 'fail' to cook his burger blue rare, blue rare is essentially raw inside and he did just that. you just can't cook meat blue rare and expect to render the fat out, which is what that other guy was saying.

>And having low fat doesn't mean you can eat it raw when there is still solid fat in it

this is incoherent dude. you take low fat cuts for things like tartare and blue steaks because there are no large deposits of solid fat and connective tissue, i even said this earlier. they aren't pleasant. jack read that he needed to barely cook his meat and he did so. getting all high and mighty about it just because jack missed the point a little bit when he decided to make a burger out of the tougher bits of the bison is just pedantic and as the dumb anons always show in these situations, they're throwing stones in glass houses.

>>6584013
I honestly can't tell if you're incredibly stupid or just trolling. You clearly don't know what the fuck you're even talking about. Jack described his burger as "pink" but it's not rare pink it's nearly totally raw. Everyone can see that and he didn't even swallow the bite he took. It seems you're the only person in this thread that thinks Jack did this correctly or intentionally.

It's not incoherent if you actually took the time to understand what is being communicated. Low-fat meats may still have solid bits of fat in them, especially like that ground bison clearly did. In those cases you cannot expect to eat it nearly raw and have a pleasant experience. This is commonly referred to as "fucking it up" and it's something you've been doing since you hit the post button in this thread.

>>6584063

you don't understand what i was correcting the other guy about. you don't render the fat in a steak when you cook it blue rare, you simply can't expect to do that. jack obviously made a bad burger, but my point is that the vast majority of the people who go through all his videos screenshotting his food and taking potshots at it don't know what they're talking about. you're just ignoring the actual argument i'm making in favour of furthering the general sentiment that jack is shit and you are not, which i doubt is wholly true.

Get your briquettes going in a flash with Kingsford odorless lighter fluid!

>>6580440
I really like the look of this. Just the look, mind you.

Has anyone here actually tried any of Jack's best sauces? Are they any good?

>>6584370
Last week I think a guy posted that he bought the BBQ sauce and tried it. He said it was very sweet and strangely gelatinous. He didn't like it.

Also, is this a thing? https://youtu.be/Q38l5ORtOWc
Do Americans deep fry their turkeys?

>>6584372

>Do Americans deep fry their turkeys?

famously they do. alton brown did an episode on it, heston blumenthal even tried it in his roast chicken episode of 'in search of perfection'.

it's a pretty great idea IMO, i'd love to try it.

>>6580195

>>6584372
>Do Americans deep fry their turkeys?
Yeah

Most people shouldn't try it because if you fuck it up, the grease will explode in your face and you'll wish it would have killed you instead.

But it's surprisingly good, I don't do it much myself because I'm just too nervous with the stuff. I just slow cook it in the oven and occasionally smoke it.

>>6584475
Scotch eggs are sushi now.

Are all these cringe threads just Jack "Cuck Wild" Scalfani threads disguised so overzealous janitors can't delete them?

>>6585057
Also Tom Willett and a few others like Marie the Unseeing

However Ja/ck/ is truly the King with hundreds of videos to criticize

>>6585111
Nice trips.

One day, I'm going to put a day aside, just to watch every one of his videos. There are so many that there must be more gold buried in there that we just haven't seen. I will dig it up.

>>6585115
Godspeed gentleanon

>>6585115
There are so many I can't possibly keep up, plz halp

>>6583247
JACK JACK JACK JACK JACK
BEEAAAAUUUTTIIIFULLL

>>6583408
>>6583411
>he squeezes the meat with his ham hands

I gagged

>>6580177
5 seconds in I can tell with certainty it's bad on purpose. Immediately disregarded.

>>6583395
>puts not one but TWO packets of onion soup mix into the meat, then adds salt
>uses individually-wrapped "cheese" slices
>puts it in the fucking microwave
>it predictably explodes
>INJOY UR JUCY LUCY

>>6584490
Towels are bread too.

I know you guys are Ja/ck/in' it

>>6580399

They used well seasoned cast iron pans back in the day.

You have to wait until the pan is hot before putting the batter in, otherwise the batter will a) soak up the fat and b) ooze into all the crevices in your pan before solidifying. When the pan is hot, the batter instantly solidifies before it has time to soak up fat or stick to the pan.

A Wild Cu/ck/ on the Go appears!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiLYUlZy1-4

Filled with such cringey moments as: the King telling Ja/ck/let that his first grandchild will be a girl because God spoke to him.

>>6585994
>calling all the Swedish foods Norwegian

I wish death upon Jack

>>6581864
Foodwishes has several videos where Chef John explicitly states it's a fuckup.
His fuckups just happen to be of vastly smaller scale compared to Jack's, while also giving him something to talk about.

>>6580177
Holy fuck. I saw his pizza vid a couple of years ago and could never find him again

>>6585994
He's just the stupidest guy that exists on jewtube but I simply cannot watching. There is something charming in his stupidity.

>>6586017
Why do people call it jewtube?

>>6586028
post a video that is "anti-semetic" and see how long it lasts

>>6585994
>>6586017

Aside from some creationists and other true retards he is probably the stupidest person I've ever seen. Hell if he actually is a creationist I wouldn't be hugely surprised.

>>6586032
Why would I do that? Why would anybody do that?

>>6586038
Criticism of the Israeli government does not constitute antisemitism, but a video of that caliber is frequently flagged as antisemitism due to its nature and removed as such.

>>6586037
I know he's anti sex ed, but so is Peter Hitchens, and you'd struggle infinitely in a debate versus him.

>>6581410
Lol boohoo i am a little sissy who thinks a bell pepper is spicier than the devils nutsack
kek

>>6586063
Not really, being related to Christopher Hitchens doesn't make you an invincible debater. Not to mention a rhetorical debate is not how facts or truth are established.

>>6586069
Your fascination with Christopher has zero grasping on Peter. They are separate beings as much as you'd like Christopher to dictate the intellectual respect of their brotherhood. Take a little time outside of your small world and realize that Peter is his own man, with his own opinions, completely outside and irrespective of Christopher's.

>>6585117
What product are they trying to sell with this?

>>6580440
>lots of different textures
>we got soft we got crunchy
... Who the fuck wants crunchy noodles?
Also, he used like an entire bottle of teriyaki sauce, jfc

>>6581410
>sriracha
>hot
Are you 10?

>>6580760
What's the origin of this recipe?

>>6586084
Lol Peter is completely pathetic compared to Christopher. Please continue jerking off to them somewhere else.

>>6586136
can't remember, probably an egg cracker

>>6581793
First time I cooked chicken I was maybe 12 and it didn't look near as bad as the shit he made
Plus I didn't make a YouTube video of it trying to show people how to cook

>>6586153
Marie's Homemade Italian Tomato Sauce from Italy
https://youtu.be/jDGqtjcyxlQ

>>6580760
This is excellent.

>>6585994
Is Jack /fa/?

>>6586331
I fucking hate how everyone with an Italian grandmother or whatever thinks they know how to cook.

>>6581767
>>6581366
I went to an Asian grocery store a few days ago. I got followed and shared at because I was the only white piggu in the store. Anyway I saw a LOT of engrish and I saw a popsicle with a label that said "ice sandwich", thought if these pictures and keked

>>6585994
WHY THE FUCK HE HAS TO TALK THAT FUCKING LOUD??
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>6580195

jackulus rift

>>6587527
Who /virtualjoey/ here?

>>6580177
This is literal flyover food. Holy fuck.

>Cans of condensed soup
>Tater tots
>Sour Cream

All it need is fucking ranch.

>>6587537

>>6580148
Untidy fridges trigger the fuck out of me.
I just assume I'll catch the plague if I eat anything from there.
Also, I hate people with more than 4 days worth of leftovers, and they're not even in orderly containers.. god I think I hate you.
But I would help you clean your fridge.

>>6581410
I am about the least picky eater I know at 30.
I love super spicy, sour, sweet, bitter, etc.
There is no fruit, vegetable, grain or meat (that wasn't fermented) I have met that I would not eat.
I love almost every type of spice.
But there are a few things I cannot stand.
>ketchup on anything but burgers and fries
>fish sauce
>fermented meats (as above)
>sirracha (this stuff tastes like shit)

>>6583395
>its donner on the top than i wanted it to

WHAT A SIMPLE TREAT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGTVP0MyKTo

>>6580775

Me and my brother just died reading this.

>>6587669
Those idiots thinking the marble holds back some sort of fizz powder to carbonate the soda

>>6587669
Lol, what video is this? I want to use this as an avatar

>>6587719
the one i linked dummy

>>6587669
That laughing is the most exercise Ja/ck/ has gotten since he quit P90X

>>6586348
The King is a master of aesthetics and a leader in fashion trends

>>6584372

A good enough number do, yeah. I haven't tried it myself yet, though. There is always a story after Thanksgiving on the news about someone who fucked up and burned themselves or their house.

>>6587758
If Ja/ck/ fucked up royally with the turkey and burned down his house and killed his family, would he still upload the video?

>>6587761
>oh yeah look how crispy that skin is

>>6586348
One ring for his wife and one ring for their bull

>>6581410
>Sriracha
>too hot
I'm guessing you prefer a diet mostly consisting of processed meat in some form of bread and covered in ketchup/mayo too?

>>6581821
Its likely that you're not doing it right.

>>6584372
You mean this guy? Yeah it looks horrendous.

>tfw Ja/ck/ has cooked for Todd English and Johnny Iuzzini
>tfw Todd English complimented his dish

Are you a Tough Person?

>>6583331
idk man he is literally credited on imdb as an actor

kinda shattered my reality

>>6585681
>n search of perfection
No picture, but a cross section of a philly cheese steak registered as a burrito.

Still beats typing.

>>6585994
Jack is the most stereotypical american I've ever seen. When foreigners think of an american I bet he's what they think of.
>Obese
>Loud
>Obnoxious
>Incompetent
>Stupid
>Overly self confident

>>6588302
We need a terrible chef sucking black cock and praying to Allah have a European equivalent.

>>6585994
One of my favorite things about Cuck on the Go is being able to see people reacting to the King

>>6588302
You forgot christian, homophobic, and that he hates reading.

>>6588335
Is he really a bibliophobe?

>>6586063
Arguments stand or fall on their own merit silly.

Watching 'Things That Scare Jack - Pizza From Scratch' made me return to the kitchen after a few years away and do some cooking.

Isn't that what a good tv chef does? Make people want to cook?
If yes, Jack is a huge success and I owe this delicious meal to him (although I did burn the toppings a little and the dough was a little undercooked).

>>6588474
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qei3jXCrxr0
Basically.

>>6580650
Fucking hell man, if i made a burger like that at school my teacher would kill me

>>6580766
>Putting something in a pan of oil before it's hot enough to sizzle
Jesus fuck dude what are you doing

>>6581821
Have you ever tried marinating chicken in a brine for a few hours? Shit is cash yo

>>6586006
You are aware that the poster said Norwegian, right? Kjottktake is also Norwegian, not Swedish

>>6587710
Holy shit are these guys for real? How can you even be stupid enough to think the marble is some kind of magic that makes the soda carbonated

>>6585994
>youre first child is going to be a girl.... god told me that

>>6587988
Beautiful

>>6588814
It's because they are fucking stupid especially Jack Sr......he's a fucking dumb dumb

>>6588873
Jebus christ! i know you're being sarcastic but what is this opposite day

>>6587988
There's nothing wrong with how it looks. Give it a little stir if you're super precious.

>>6583743
>this is the average cu/ck/ poster

god damn

>>6585994
Please. Someone find me the intro song. I want to incorporate it into my torture routine.

Today's cu/ck/ing video really hits the spot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNIUNpgUKw4

>>6588989
Beautiful

>>6589006
Is that a screen from that video??

That's it. This video was on my to watch list after I'd finished my work, but fuck it. I have to stop what I'm doing and watch it right now.

>>6588989
It really bothers me how he never tastes anything when he puts seasoning in. I would trust a chef to know how much salt, pepper and garlic a dish needs, but Jack usually says outright "I have no idea how much of this to put in" and then dumps in a random amount.

It's almost as bad as Marie's surface area measurement system.

>>6581873
>>6581892
>>6581926
are there other /ck/ related books i can purchase? little off topic

>>6582678
>No rage video or pictures, but do stories count?

yeah they count if they're not fuckin dreams god damn it

>>6588989
>>6589006

Oh god.

>>6579733
https://youtu.be/njp03sg7zOk?t=520

>>6588957
ok jack, go back to your chickens

>>6587669
are they fuckin retarded

they just stuffed an ass load of seaweed paper in their mouths. lmao.

>>6588957
Bullshit it looks like an aborted fetus covered in diarrhea

>>6588989
>"i've been trying this new thing at restaurants where i sit down and look at the menu, and i order something i normally wouldn't order"
>"HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT'S CRAZY"

is this guy fucking with me.

>>6588989
>Jack's sauces are sold at Walmart
Do any of you haters have anything of yours being sold at a major retailer?

>>6589227
I had to stop watching after they didn't even remotely understand how those japanese soda bottles work.
Did they eat sushi wrappers by themselves?

>>6589272
yes they did I'm still baffled

what is it with these captchas I can't select soup as a drink
but donuts as a birthdaycake is allright fuck mang

>>6589272
yes. yes they did. straight from the fucking bag. they did it twice.

>>6589278
also, they thoroughly enjoy it

>>6589488
They also enjoy raw chicken, so i dont really think their opinion matters

>>6589558
I think you mean juicy chicken, Anon.

>>6589580
Yes, sorry jack, i meant juicy salmonella filled so delicious you will die chicken

>>6589708
El pollo diablo

>>6588809
Think he was talking about all the food items not the menu

>>6583289
He's an aspiring stand up comic, so i'm assuming it's just part of the act

>>6589269
>u fags dun sell dogshit mixed with gelatin at wally world

Is this the extent of Ja/ck/'s defense force? Get ye gone.

>>6580195
goastse flashbacks

>>6590266
>envisioning Ja/ck/ parting his mountainous cheeks and unleashing a deluge of red salsa

Beautiful

>>6588957
Yeah it looks great if you wanted BBQ jello

>>6588989
Is it wrong I'd try this?

>>6583395
What fucking accent is this

>>6590680
No, sir or madam, it just means you are a true Ja/ck/off and a servant of the Wild Cu/ck/ King.